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Whether we like it or not, conflicts are inevitable in any long-term relationship. Nearly everyone knows that finding someone you can be completely honest with comes with many ups and downs that reveal the most annoying behaviors imaginable. But while some disagreements can get seriously spicy, partners also often lose control and get angry over absolutely nothing.

Attorney, advocate, and author Rabia Chaudry set out on a mission to discover the stupidest and most meaningless arguments married couples "just cannot, will not stop having". Her Twitter thread quickly blew up with people opening up about the most infuriating habits their spouses have that make them fight about it for years.

From never squishing out the sponge to refusing to close the drawers all the way, every couple has things they repeatedly return to because both sides refuse to back down. Continue scrolling because we’ve selected some of the funniest examples from the thread. Upvote the ones you can relate to all too well, and be sure to share your own pet peeves with us in the comments!

Image credits: rabiasquared

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Nora Petricien
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe not. I tend to do that while doing my own cleaning. Like I'm supposed to clean my room but I'll end up reorganizing every single paper that's in my drawers or sorting my clothes by sleeve length instead of colors as they were initially or find out the paint on something is damaged and spend the next week repainting it... I've done these kind of things since I'm 4... I'm 19. Pretty sure it's because of ADHD and it's damn hyper fixation 😔

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Kristie French
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG! My husband does this too. He’ll start vacuuming, then halfway through decide the vacuum needs to be cleaned…entirely.. takes it apart starts cleaning it and then never finishing vacuuming. Every. Damn.Time.

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Id row
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband does this, too. The place will be a mess and he'll say, "Hey, look at how I organized the closet no one uses!"

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Crystal Lamas
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A couple things here. It's a task he's been wanting to do and he's avoiding the other tasks he doesn't want to do.

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GadgetGirl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This and waiting until you are nearly finished with something and asking if you need help.

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Callie Ge
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why, to get out of doing actual housework. You need to sit down together & write a list of all chores that need to be done Daily, Bi-Weekly, Weekly, Fortnightly, Monthly & a few times a year. Include everything inside the house & outside. Make sure you include the Emotional chores, Keeping track of family birthdays, Christmas gifts , cards, arranging social events etc. Then divide up the chores so that he is doing a fair share. Most men believe they do far more than what they actually do.

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Holly Stevens
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same reason my Dad calls hosing off the driveway all day "his chores" just avoiding the actual household chores he doesn't want to do

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Eucritta
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've gotten in the habit of keeping track of obscure chores for just this reason. Might as well take advantage of the tendency.

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Usman A.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think I am at least one of the husbands you all are describing in these comments. I won't say which.

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DDmaybeandor
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ADD, I do this too because I am an idiot. But honestly, it comes with poor planning and time management skills. Things can often seem so overwhelming that they feel impossible so we focus on the small that can be done perfectly. It’s like having blinders on. I am completely ridiculous even when I am, honest to god, trying my best. I’m sorry you have to put up with another just like me.

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Tamra Stiffler
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think you're being very hard on yourself. If you have ADD, that can be a tough condition to deal with, and it sounds like you're doing the best you can. Most of us have some issue/illness/condition that challenges us.

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Tammy Stephan
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel this! It's what my partner does everytime there's an inspection or routine house clean, he'll find an already arranged cupboard and rearrange it for hours.

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Coconut Smiley
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cleaning something that's already clean is different than taking apart and cleaning the grill. Cleaning the grill is not an easy task and the all that grease is really gross.

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Jozsef Szabo
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe he's a perfectionist. He's unable to do it if he cannot do it perfectly. And then doing it perfectly consumes his time and energy and cannot do other things. There's a possibility that he has ADHD or OCPD (but not every perfectionist has it).

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Adriaan Verhelle
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you're going to take the time to clean the grill, you might as well be thorough. I also don't see an issue with it being December. I always clean every piece of outdoor furniture before putting it away for winter. Don't want any mold or rodents snacking on those food leftovers during the cold season

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NamiKoa
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Amazing, I thought I was alone in this. We have guests coming over and instead of tidying and general clean-up he’s cleaning the oven like there’s no tomorrow. Stressful day of packing for a vacation and we need to leave in 20 minutes? He goes out and sweeps the common stairwell. Is that ADHD or just a weird obsession with details?

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Billy Allen
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh the bacteria and mold that grow in a dirty grill and let's not forget the bugs that take up residence.

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Cafesinner
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Strategic incompetence. So he doesn't have to actually do chores

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Jyndaru
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He deep cleaned the whole grill. That's a chore and a half. It gets very gross. And it needs to be cleaned so it can be cooked on without spreading germs or starting a fire. I'd love if my husband regularly cleaned the grill of his own accord!

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phil blanque
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So sad... hanging on to "macho" housework that is totally irrelevant, except to his ego.

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Coconut Smiley
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol I get stuck doing things like that. Some of us have to follow through and can't half do a job lol

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Bedlamite
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband likes to clean behind the tv or the top of the refrigerator, maybe under the bathroom sink. If I say anything he gets pissed. It's just easier to let it go. But hey, the back of the tv is very shiny.

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Barbara Kayton
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To prevent grill grease fires when you start using it in a couple of months.

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Thomas Sweda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tara, have YOU ever tried to clean a grill? I’ll trade you any day.

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Tiredofpayingforothers
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife and I agreed that I take care of the outside and maintenance while she takes care of the inside and decor. She has her jobs and I have mine. There are no arguments that way.

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Aleksandra
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm kinda like that, i like to focus on details, often weird details. Like defrosting the freezer or cleaning the oven with steam cleaning thingie. But i also do regular chores too, not very regularly but still good enough. Those detail weird chores are just something more interesting than regular stuff, so more fun, easier to focus on i guess

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Wednesday
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did you marry my ex? We had the entire family plus extras coming for thanksgiving in a few hours, so I'm cleaning and cooking and he is... organizing the screws in his jars in the garage. I said no one would see them, he countered with it needed to be done. Ok. But now NOW.

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Amy Broderick
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my bf is always giving me crap for not doing his 'half an hour a day' stuff (meaning more than vacuuming, sweeping, laundry, and dishes) but his contribution to that is to paint the basement stairs or paint the living room. Aaarrgghhh

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Christopher Welsh
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

December is the best time to clean a grill, which is a gigantic pain.

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Joyce Plaate
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some ideas on how to handle this prickly issue: -Sit down together and try to establish everyone's priority regarding housework (if only one partner firmly believes it's a woman's job somebody is getting screwed). Then make a list of every task that needs to be done. Including frequency, estimated time, and, if needed, special instructions. Then score every task per person from -5 to 5 according to desirability. Then discuss how to share the work. You will not get 50/50 ever, on whatever way of sharing you choose to use. But you might get a way to work together that will not cause one or the other to feel resentfull, used, or underappreciated. -One other option is switching every week. (This option ussually sucks all around.) -If nothing will work, just help the economy by outsourcing the bulk of the job: get a cleaner for the house. Housework and its sharing should not be allowed to cause a divorce or split-up!

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Kay Davis
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This must be a guy thing, my Dad and husband do the same thing

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bkIllinois
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Give him something easy yet specific. " I need you to vaccum because I'm doing dishes and cooking".

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Samantha
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To get out of actually helping. Or, his ADHD makes him hyperfixate on a completely random, totally unimportant task.

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Nadine G
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like hyper fixation, does your husband have ADHD?

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Lara Kashdan Stolzberg
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

SAME!!!! Drives me crazy!! Blowing the leaves when our HOA has lawn service twice a week do it. Yet the house - which we don't have anyone helping - is in constant need of attention (3 yo twins home all day with their grandparents).

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joren Van der Ark
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like ADHD. My tip direct what you want him to do, or even better make a shortlist and see if he can keep his attention on it. That's what works for me at least.

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Michael Lindgren
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife is a quantity-over-quality kind of person. I'm usually the "cop-out" but guess who will slowly have to redo everything because there's still grease/dust/whatever still there after she has "cleaned" it? This guy. Not to speak of all the dirty/gross stuff. Heck, she needs my help to unclog the vacuum. She's the love of my life.

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Sean Simpson
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s different priorities. Think about it, how much time does he spend at the grill compared to you? Grills get really gunked up, disassembling it to clean it is a good idea. Just because it isn’t the chore you wanted him to do doesn’t mean it was him trying to get you to do everything. If you wanted him to do something specifically, you should have used your words and asked him. And for those who are upset because “he should just know,” here’s the truth: he will never care about chores the same way you do. He will never have the same priorities when it comes to cleaning up. To call it a cop out just isn’t true and creates a conflict-based narrative that does nothing but breed resentment.

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Lemonclouds20
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh yeah mine does the garage... Which is entirely his stuff....

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shinshige
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude. I’m that husband. Not literally THIS husband. But, damn. I do this. Sorry wife.

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neb skram
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

maybe he wants to cook a steak because i also live in Oregon and BBQ year round he is also letting you do more of the work

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Danny de Meyer
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did just the opposite (like: your part) and she left cuz I wasn't helping out. I did the BBQ too btw.

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Trisha Howson
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds about when my husband feels like working on something in the house lol aways at time when I I'm like really

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Hawkmoon
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

With climate change, you never know when you'll need a fully functioning grill.

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Say What
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, but it still has nothing to do with cleaning the house so . . .

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Sarah Mathiason
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Haha, maybe it's a guy thing, not really wanting to get involved, but feels guilty enough to do at least 'some'thing... Seems like th grill is his thing, so him cleaning it will be useful...to him. What a poop head. Lol

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Brenda Modica
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Men tend to be able to focus on the details of one task. Where women can multi-task. This is a perfect example. He saw that it needed to be done. He can’t do that in the summer because it’s being used all of the time on the weekend (probably what he was thinking) so December was the perfect time.

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Alfie Sprout
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like ADHD tbh. My hub hyperfixates on individual chores. It's why I love him tbh

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Rachel Betancort
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because he either doesn't know what to clean and needs told.. or he really is taking the piss and doesn't want to do do anything. Either you're married to a kid or a jackass.

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Heather Glomb
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder if your husband doesn't actually know what to do and wants to not get in your way? This is an easy one to figure out. If he's just avoiding cleaning house, then that may require more work.

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Jack Jackson
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He does the complex s**t, and you get the rest. Makes sense to me.

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Post Indie rock
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He did something so stop complaining and/or communicate better.

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Edward Cook
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2 years ago

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For all the wives out there, I will let you in on a little secret. Men are programmed by nature to be the protector and the provider for the family. They are NOT programmed to be the one to clean the house, shop for groceries, or any other household chores. This is not a cop-out to avoid doing them. It is an actual fact supported by years of studies.

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Alex Bailey
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not a secret. If the man has insufficient wit to add to his repertoire of 'skills' by helping with cleaning then he probably needs throwing out the gene pool, not keeping in it.

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James Bishop
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2 years ago

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Because we like to deep clean...aka really clean s**t...instead of acting like we are cleaning s**t

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Jontelle
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So true! I can send my SO to the store with a list and he’ll STILL mess up somehow.

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Karri Berkowitz
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine leaves the sponge in the sink, every time, and it's always in the one spot with water and the food he didn't clean out. I have to throw it out

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If Rabia Chaudry’s name sounds familiar, it might be because she’s the author of the New York Times bestselling book Adnan's Story. She has also amassed quite a following on Twitter where almost 202K users are engaged in what she has to say and, luckily for us, share their own funny and genuine stories. The post in question, which has received over 19K likes, proved that couples all over the world get peeved off by the most foolish things.

Hundreds of replies on this thread had to do with household tasks not being completed correctly. Well, at least in their partner's eyes. But whether you’re in a meaningful relationship or decided to tie the knot, sharing a space together is bound to be at least a bit of a challenge. At the bare minimum, you’ll have a partner that tells you you never fold the socks right.

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Strawberry Pizza
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I believe some decorative plastic fruit would solve this problem. No rotting = no more buying fruit.

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When you decide to be with one person for a long time, it's only natural for the quirks you found sweet at the beginning of the relationship to irritate you as time flies. But those little habits sure have a way of blowing up into a major argument or at least something you always have at the back of your mind.

But not all fights are created equal. While some are more severe and worth talking through, others are downright ridiculous and illogical. "Partners often say, 'We argue over stupid things,'" licensed relationship therapist Dr. Jason N. Linder wrote in Psychology Today. "This is somewhat true. That said, there are a lot more things partners are actually arguing about under the surface than what meets the eye, especially for the partners themselves."

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We have a TV series about these people: Help, my husband is a handyman.

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Ozacoter
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My partner was the same with decoration. I put some paintings, pictures and plants in the house and he kept whining about how i "invaded his space". Now i took them all out because we are moving and he was like "now the house looks so much uglier". I know.

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"Focusing on the content of arguments (i.e who forgot to mail the important package) misses the forest for the trees. What fights are really about is the emotional safety in a relationship, partner's subjective sense of the other’s caring from them (or being there for them), and fear that they will get hurt."

He explained that getting to what’s underneath leads us to the cause of arguments and relationship distress. "Partners need to learn to reach out to each other with those feelings such as sadness about the disconnection, feelings of failure or inadequacy, or fear of rejection.”

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Deborah B
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave it in the cabinet. Don't buy chips. "There's still a pack in the cupboard".

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Unfortunately, it might be easy to fall into the trap of thinking that fighting with your partner is a bad sign for the relationship itself. But we all know that every single couple has had at least one or two arguments. In fact, experts say that such disagreements can also be beneficial.

"I am more worried about my clients who say they never argue with their partners,” Maryann W. Mathai, a licensed counselor who specializes in helping people heal from toxic relationships, told Bustle. "It signals passivity, emotions being ignored, or a lack of self in the relationship — all of which are unhealthy."

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Next time put their laundry around the washing machine. When there are no clean clothes for them anymore, they will understand.

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Leo Domitrix
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can sympathize with this, as you may have water on the floor if the shower is not closed off enough, and open drawers kill shinbones.

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Chores and other responsibilities are some of the most common argument topics between married couples. It’s important to distinguish, however, whether these silly quarrels are healthy or toxic for your relationship. For example, if you start nitpicking your partner about the way they wash the dishes but end up blatantly declaring you dislike the company of their parents, that’s a red flag for toxic communication patterns. When arguing, you stay focused on the topic and issue at hand, so avoid looking for opportunities to air other grievances.

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D. Pitbull
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ahh... I guess I remove eggs like OP's wife... because we usually grab the carton from one end or the other, not in the front 'n' center... so the weight is evenly distributed...

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Mathai explained that while it is normal to need space after a disagreement, routinely withdrawing for days at a time shows your fights could be toxic. "Researchers have shown that stonewalling, the term for withdrawing and avoidance, is a predictor of divorce," she added. "Shutting down and emotionally leaving the conversation will trigger the other partner to feel alone and overwhelmed."

"You both may have different needs or time frames to cool down after an argument, but a sign of healthy relationships is [that] couples come back to each other quickly," Mathai explained. "There is truth behind the old saying 'Never go to bed angry.'"

After all, we're all guilty of having weird little quirks that might annoy people around us. Some of these behaviors are more benign, others are pretty bizarre. But as they say, communication is key, so if you find a way to talk through them and even sometimes kindly poke fun at them, you might be on the right path.

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Green Machine
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like the couples arguing over bars of soap should switch to liquid body wash. :)

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D. Pitbull
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

omg... my dad was like this... no matter how much time he had before the family had to leave for whatever... the MOMENT we're supposed to go out the door.... he had to go to the bathroom. It was. so. odd.

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Frances M
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don’t have a spoon anyway, you have a solid lump of tea stained sugar with a metal bit sticking out the top.

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ToGo
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll agree on the basis that I HATE when people nix ideas without offering a suggestion. I'm not your hired "idea's person".

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Karen Tyas
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Meanwhile he’s like “My wife is great, always puts gas in my car for me!”

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pretend you didn't hear that he said something and keep pretending until he speaks so you can understand him. Rinse and repeat for as long as it takes to get the message home. I took me 6 weeks to teach my wife that, since I'm getting deaf, I can't hear her when she's whispering from the other side of the room.

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Ozacoter
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am sorry for op. That sounds like an awful partner

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Buren
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agree to disagree and adopt new pronounciation such as cow-poo to save your marriage.

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Belinda Matson
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Put it in random places. On his pillow, his dashboard, in his drawers, at a crime scene.

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#35

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MdotCOT Report

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Leo Domitrix
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've learned to preface some questions with "It's yes or no question. One-word answer only. (Fill in question)." B/c I got tired of essay answers to yes-no questions. We've gotten around it over the years, but twenty-five years ago? It'd take him ten minutes to answer "yes" or "no" or for me to work out which it was. And the question would be something like, "Do you want dessert?"

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#38

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Madzdad the Bard
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex said it was an "accident" when she slept with someone else. What does that mean? He tripped and his d**k fell into your vagina?

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#39

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DuchessDegu
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wanna swap? I'm like that, if it's important put it away. My partner leaves everything anywhere and when he can't find it, he'd buy a new one or ask for a copy. Then leaves it anywhere and buys a third one when he can't find the previous two. I lost count of how many superglue, toothpick packs, torches, sealants and tin openers I found last time I went on a cleanup bender

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#40

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LH25
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So buy her a pair of her own. If she wants to wear the old ones, you wear the new ones.

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Note: this post originally had 105 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.