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Marriage is a journey through incredible heights, really low valleys, and a whole bunch of ordinary in between.

But even though this union is one of the most complex relationships people can have, somehow spouses manage to find humor in nearly every aspect of it. What's even more impressive, they can do it with fewer than 280 characters.

So we at Bored Panda decided to acknowledge them in the most appropriate way and collected all of their funniest tweets about married life, trying to provide these observations with the attention they deserve. Trust me, they paint such a vivid picture, you'll get a kick out of everything even if you're single!

In the near future, however, we might see less and less of these tweets since more U.S. adults are delaying marriage – or foregoing it altogether. Now, most Americans find cohabitation acceptable, even for couples who don't plan to get married, according to a Pew Research Center survey. But even so, most of them still think society is better off if couples in long-term relationships eventually get married.

The share of U.S. adults who are currently married has declined modestly in recent decades, from 58% in 1995 to 53%. Over the same period, the share of adults who are living with an unmarried partner has risen from 3% to 7%. While the second group remains far smaller if we compare the totals, the share of adults aged 18 to 44 who have ever lived with an unmarried partner (59%) has actually surpassed the share who has ever been married (50%).

#3

30 Hilarious Tweets About Married Life That Perfectly Sum Up Marriage (New Posts)

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Dak Janiels
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Similar things have happened to me, however- the conversation just STOPS. you only get INTERNAL JOY, but JUSTIFIED JOY all the same.

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As you might've guessed, young adults are particularly accepting of cohabitation – 78% of those ages 18 to 29 say it's perfectly OK for an unmarried couple to live together, even if they don't plan to tie the knot.

Still, even among those younger than 30, a substantial share (45%) say society is better off if couples who want to stay together long-term eventually get married. Roughly half of those ages 30 to 49 believe this to be true, as do majorities of those ages 50 and older.

#8

Marriage-Tweets

ThisOneSayz Report

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Doenutts
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is standard, my Mum always told me it was rude to go through a woman's purse and i still go by this as an adult

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Philosaurus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Its like opening someone else's mail. Even If they ask you too it still feels wrong.

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Chucky Cheezburger
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep...I dont usually go into my wife's purse. Only reason is to get her key to start her car. Anything else is a "not even gonna try cuz unless it sitting where I can see it,t it's a "lost in the black hole and only she can find it kind of thing.

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Tim Bouchee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As Jeff Dunham put it, "My wife will say, 'Get my keys out of my purse!' 'I ain't touching that thing! I've heard noises coming out of there! It's evil! I've seen you pull farm tools out of it...' She can turn it over, shake it nothing comes out, turn it back up, 'Look, a bowling ball!'"

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Lisa Hearn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My now ex claimed that what ever was in my purse bit him, so he would never put his hand in there and would just bring me my purse.

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Caro Caro
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahaha. My husband would bring me my handbag because he said "it bites, scratches, hurts and hisses". :D

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Jacob B.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Women's purses are the equivalent of the Dungeons and Dragons magic item "bag of holding". You could fall in and get lost in there.

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Basko
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a guy, I don't know what I would find in the purse but certainly not the thing my wife asked me for.

tial avatar
Ti Al
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad did this and taught my brother too because "you never go through a womans purse". I think it's quite considerate.

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Sandeep Patel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

lol i do that. only because she has so much stuff i cant find what she asked me to get so now i just get the whole thing

alboalt avatar
Albo alt
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Purses have a dozen pockets and nooks and zippered places! We're not going to go through all of them to find something! Heck, you women don't know where you keep everything.

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GlassHalfWay
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband does the same. Just like I'll bring him his wallet, I'd never go thru it.

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Justme
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine does this too, but mostly because he doesn’t know the difference between a compact and my migraine medicine.

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Cornell Tramontana
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife would put a ton of stuff in her purse. It was much easier to let her retrieve what she wanted. Somehow in the multitude of items in her purse she could pick it out.

censorshipsucks3 avatar
censorshipsucks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I enjoyed the scene in the last harry potter movie where hermione has a purse--- which contains like all their clothes, books, mediicines, etc., and it's small. I'm like, "accurate AF."

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backatya
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why not cut to the chase. We know she's going to ask for something else or if it isn't the right thing she'll make you go back again.

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KimB
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Legit every. single. time. Like there's a black mamba hiding inside as security: D

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Brenda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yup. 29 years together, married 25. Not ONCE has he gone in my purse

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Michael Ramming
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is an unspoken rule that a man knows, or he will live to regret.

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Jai Stewart
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get this all the time, but I also do the same thing. I don't got through others bags ...or pockets. Many times my father has asked me to grab his wallet from his jeans and I'll bring his jeans to him lol

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Craig Reynolds
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's easier for us to just bring the purse as opposed to digging around trying to find what you asked for.

lpjohnson avatar
Lp Johnson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never had any guy just bring what I ask for, lol. It's ALWAYS the entire purse!

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Squirrelly Panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband always responds with "it scares me" and claims it might eat him.

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Awsomemom52
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never told/taught my son, not to touch my purse (or my personal belongings in general)... well, I don't even own a purse 😏. But since he doesn't like it when people "dig through" his stuff, he doesn't do it to others either... not even if he has permission. I'm used to it now (he's 23).

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Brenda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband refuses to go in my purse and brings me the whole thing

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Snowfoxrox
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

11 years in and mine will FINALLY look inside to get something! I think he thought it was a trap and that I'd get mad or something. NO, I really meant it when I said your readers are in the middle pocket, help yerself. sigh...I've got nothing to hide!

suemyers avatar
Suzi Q
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I prefer he just hand me the purse. He loves to joke with me about the c**p in the purse.

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Hutt'nKloas
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ahuh I do the same. By the time I get explained what to take out of the purse, the purse is already in her hands.

philblanque avatar
phil blanque
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh yeah...no question about it. You do NOT want to get into: "I can't find my keys. Did you take them out of my purse?" or "Did you put my glasses somewhere when you took them out of my purse?" Nope, you get the purse, wrap it in plastic, and deliver it.

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Tim
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even with permission, I'm not going to find it and I'm definitely not going back to look for another item later.

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Melissa Claassen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't open my husband's wallet and he doesn't open my purse. It's an unwritten rule we've always had. Same with cell phones.

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Sally Barry
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I keep my credit card in my purse. I would like my whole purse brought to me, because there is a chance that credit card is not going to find its way back home. (nothing to get the old adrenaline going when you're out shopping and that card is not where it should be.)

zdenekvesely avatar
Basko
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a guy, I consider the purse as very private thing. Does it actually feel that personal to women? Or did we make that just up?

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Daniel Dugan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wholeheartedly support this husband. Haven't you seen what a dumpster fire the inside of a purse is?

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Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LOL, this happens every time. I just started asking, "Hon, can you hand me my purse?"

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Monic Krugell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Every dam time, "I don't want to go through your whole purse" but let him need some extra cents and boy can he filter through that purse!

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Ninja Nonna
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband ALWAYS brings the whole purse, after 52 yrs of marriage still "protects my privacy"

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People's views about marriage and cohabitation are also linked to their religious beliefs. For example, three-quarters of Catholics (74%) and white Protestants who do not self-identify as born-again or evangelical (76%) say it's acceptable for an unmarried couple to live together. But only 47% of black Protestants and 35% of white evangelical Protestants share this view.

And while half or more across these groups believe society is better off if couples who want to stay together long-term eventually get married, white evangelicals are the most likely to say this (78%).

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Among those who are not religiously affiliated, however, nine-in-ten say cohabitation is acceptable even if a couple doesn't plan to get married.

#10

Marriage-Tweets

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lenka
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

lol. yep. It often feels like every time I go into the kitchen the whole family follows me. I have started going in there, pretending to put things away and clean, waiting 'til the whole family joins me, then announcing that it looks like they all have everything under control and I take my leave. Works.

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Both married and cohabiting adults cite love and companionship as major reasons why they decided to get together.

But about four-in-ten cohabiters also say finances and convenience were important factors in their decision. To be exact, 38% cite moving in with their partner made sense financially and 37% say it simply fit their life. In contrast, just 13% of married adults highlight finances and 10% point out convenience as major reasons why they made the commitment.

#14

Marriage-Tweets

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Elsker
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This! Also, when you hear an airplane or helicopter, you have to check flightradar app for what kind of flying craft end it's purpose in your local airspace

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#16

Marriage-Tweets

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J_Dub
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's harder and harder to keep up with every other gay out there, but thank God for the annual conference and especially the directory of gays that they publish. Now when I'm on the phone with a relative who lives 3 states away and they say, I think the woman who repaired my HVAC unit was a lesbian, do you know her, I can say (thumbs through directory) oh yeah, that's Barb, great gal.

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But it's also important to highlight that cohabitation is not necessarily replacing marriage. If anything, it's become sort of a testing ground, a way for people to make sure if they can live happily ever after.

66% of married adults who lived with their spouse before formalizing their union and were not yet engaged when they moved in together say they saw cohabitation as a step toward marriage when they first started living with their now-spouse.

Among cohabiting adults who were not engaged when they moved in with their partner, 44% say they saw living together as a step toward marriage.

About four-in-ten cohabiting adults who are not currently engaged (41%) say they want to get married someday. Of this group, 58% say they are very likely to marry their current partner, while 27% say this is somewhat likely and 14% say it’s not too or not at all likely that they will marry their partner. About a quarter of non-engaged cohabiters (24%) say they don’t want to get married, and 35% aren’t sure.

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#23

Marriage-Tweets

XplodingUnicorn Report

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Francis
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And next week, they gonna need one of the cords that he threw away!! That's the law

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#24

Marriage-Tweets

Mom_Overboard Report

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SomePeopleCallMeMaurice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can soooo relate! Our dog has hundreds of sweet nicknames (okay, I was the one who made them all up), and my husband is always calling our dog by those names, but has never come up with one for me. He’s really bad at coming up with them, while it is my one true talent in life.

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When we boil everything down to the vital question, only a relatively small share of U.S. adults say being married is essential for a man (16%) or a woman (17%) to live a fulfilling life.

However, when asked more generally about the importance of being in a committed romantic relationship, 26% say it's a must for a man to be happy, compared to 30% who believe it's crucial to women.

For more painfully hilarious tweets about marriage, check out Bored Panda's earlier publications here, here, and here.

#27

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Tigerpacingthecage
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, we sort of did. Both my parents are dead and my only sister as well. Have no other relatives. So he didn't have to marry any of them (but my kids from a previous marriage lives with us every other week). His family lives on the other side of the globe and I've never met them. It's sad sometimes but sometimes very peaceful, yes.

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#30

Marriage-Tweets

Chhapiness Report

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