People Agree That These 6 Rules, Shared By A Writer On Twitter, Lead To A Strong Marriage
While it would be nice and stuff if relationships were clear cut, they are nowhere near that and take quite a lot of work to make them work.
However, the code was cracked and there is a way to make relationships work easier with a simple set of simple rules, because knowing is half the battle.
Business strategist and writer Ryan Stephens tweeted a set of six rules that he thinks are key in making a relationship, or more specifically, a marriage, work, not as soulmates, but rather as teammates.
Relationships are hard, but not impossible or hopeless, as long as people work on them
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So, back in early 2019, Stephens tweeted that his wife and he had figured out that focusing more on being a part of the same team in their marriage—and not being soulmates—was their key to a successful marriage.
This inevitably led to his six rules that both he and his wife try to follow so as to be good teammates to each other in their marriage.
Writer Ryan Stephens points out 6 key rules to follow that ensure people in a relationship are ‘teammates’ and not ‘soulmates’
Image credits: ryanstephens
With each tweet within the thread, he points out one rule, first explained in one sentence, and then elaborating within the confines of Twitter’s 280-character cap.
The rules focused on factors like interpersonal communication, support for each other, trust, and respect, among many other things.
Image credits: ryanstephens
For instance, the first rule effectively says don’t badmouth your spouse to your friends. Sure, it’s OK to joke about it, but it’s not cool to demean your spouse, so knowing the difference here and being aware of it is key.
Another rule he highlights is to be grateful for each other’s contributions. It doesn’t matter what it is—money, time, chores, etc.—be thankful for it as it shows support and appreciation. This rule also stresses avoiding competition. You get the drift.
Image credits: ryanstephens
After listing the six rules, Stephens concludes by saying that marriage is not all about love and romance—it is work, hard work on a daily basis, it’s prioritizing your partner. He then links to a more elaborate rundown of the whole thing on his website that details the rules and more.
People on Twitter loved this idea, with some adding their own recipes for successful marriages. These varied from not hating on your kids to accepting that you won’t always like your spouse or even, very simply put, just be nice to your spouse.
40,000 likes later, the post went viral and people started sharing their thoughts about it
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Others debated some of the points, with one saying that she doesn’t necessarily agree with marriage not being all about love. She claims love is the reason you’re together in the first place, the reason you don’t give up midway through the relationship.
Regardless, the tweet thread managed to garner over 40,000 likes with just 300 retweets shy of 12,000. The remaining tweets in the thread all garnered an average of 8,000 likes per tweet.
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What are your thoughts on this? Are there any rules that you’d like to tweak or to add your own to make this a more comprehensive list? Let us know in the comment section below!
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I think these are all pretty much rules for any mutually respectful relationship. I love the woman's reply about not calling your toddlers 'heathens'. She either has no toddlers or no humour 😂
I disagree with rule no. 1. There's a difference between being demeaning and simply discussing topics with a person outside of your relationship. If I want to confide in a good friend about something regarding my relationship, then I will do so. And I trust that friend to give me honest answers on what they think, and I know they won't regard my partner differently because of it.
I'm with you. My sister and I have this routine. My husband won't stop throwing his socks under the ottoman, I ask him to stop doing that, he doesn't stop doing it, I call my sister and say "This a**hole won't stop throwing his socks under the ottoman.", my sister laughs and then I start laughing. My sister's husband won't stop leaving lights on, my sister asks him to stop doing that, he still does it, she calls me and says "This a**hole won't stop leaving lights on." I laugh and call her Batman, she laughs too. Are our husbands a**holes? No. Do we believe each other's husband is an a**hole? No. But sometimes you just need to rant about the small things that drive you insane and that's ok.
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It’s a funny thing about love. Like the commenter said in the article, sometimes you can hate the person you love, and that’s OK. But the funny thing is that, even though today you hate their guts and wish they were dead, underneath that is a solid foundation of love. Tomorrow you will be all lovey-dovey with them again. Like the joke about the old couple who were asked if, in all the decades they were together, either of them had ever considered divorce. The wife answered “Divorce? Never. Murder? Many times!”
Agreed. And if you have a few moments where you want to call your spouse a few names to get it off your chest... Do it in your head, where they can't hear you. It's normal to get angry with their actions. (For example, 30 years in, he still won't put socks in the hamper, and it's been a running joke for 25 of those years. Liek Elf on Shelf, but stinky!)
Overcommunicate? Yeah, I do, and I pay dearly for it. So I disagree with that one.
There is nuance here. The intent was to not make assumptions about what your spouse knows. If you are beating topics to death, not letting things go, or never listening because your are always talking then the problem is indeed you.
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I disagree with number one. I have two friends in very abusive relationships, and if they did this they would have had to endure it with no help or support.
I am very happy today with my family. My name is rose sarah living in USA, My husband left me for a good 3 years now, and i love him so much, i have been looking for a way to get him back since then. i have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that darted me to Dr.Jude a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 2 weeks. Me and my husband are living happily together today, That man is great, you can contact him via email virgolovespell@gmail.com… Now i will advice any serious persons that found themselves in this kind of problem to contact him now a fast solution without steress.. He always hello, now i call him my father.contact him now he is always online email (virgolovespell@gmail.com) or contact him on his whatsapp mobile line +2347051052154 or his website: Virgolovespell.weebly.com
Agree 100% with all of these. Truly great advice. Great positive post to promote togetherness instead tearing people down!
I don’t agree with #1. Everyone needs a best friend outside the relationship to confide in. Likewise, I think you should be able to talk to your therapist or religious leader, if you’re a spiritual person. I think the rule should be tweaked to ‘be discretionary in whom you confide, and to be fair in what you communicate to others’. No, you shouldn’t have a vent session to all your friends about your SO’s annoying habits. However, you should be able to get feedback from a close friend or confidant on a behavior of your SO that affects you in a negative way.
Calling your toddler a heathen is breaking rule #1? Yeet that muppet out of there please. No time for people that think marrying a toddler is the norm.
Beautiful. We have lived our marriage by these same principles. 27 years and counting. We believe everything worth keeping takes “work”—health, financial security, happiness. I think some people fear that word as if somehow “work” is a bad thing. Work is healthy! Sometimes work is harder than others—like the early years of adapting to your new housemate, or the growth pains of children, family death, or financial hardship—but most of the time “work” is just maintenance of something valuable, and actually fun.
I stopped by just to troll this one. But Every one of his points are good. No trolling today.
I'm sorry you don't have "to work at it every day." If you have to "work" at it, that means that there are problems that both of you ore one of you is promoting and generally it is ONLY about control. These are the keys to a great marriage: respect him/her as you want them to respect you. Do NOT tell them what to do. They are NOT children. They are adults. If they don't do what YOU think they should do, then this is not about being married, it is about being in control. My husband NEVER asks for permission to do something. Nor do I. He called one time asked "is it ok if I do such and such." And I said "I am not your mother, you do not have to get 'my permission'. Just ask if I have any plans, which I won't without discussing them with you first." I said one time, when we were having a "discussion" with our son [who was 33 at the time], "you know there are three adults in this discussion, but only one of us knows it."
Unless you just flat out ignore your spouse then yes you have to put in effort every day. I think you rather missed the point... but clearly you have some experiences this is triggering.
Load More Replies... I think these are all pretty much rules for any mutually respectful relationship. I love the woman's reply about not calling your toddlers 'heathens'. She either has no toddlers or no humour 😂
I disagree with rule no. 1. There's a difference between being demeaning and simply discussing topics with a person outside of your relationship. If I want to confide in a good friend about something regarding my relationship, then I will do so. And I trust that friend to give me honest answers on what they think, and I know they won't regard my partner differently because of it.
I'm with you. My sister and I have this routine. My husband won't stop throwing his socks under the ottoman, I ask him to stop doing that, he doesn't stop doing it, I call my sister and say "This a**hole won't stop throwing his socks under the ottoman.", my sister laughs and then I start laughing. My sister's husband won't stop leaving lights on, my sister asks him to stop doing that, he still does it, she calls me and says "This a**hole won't stop leaving lights on." I laugh and call her Batman, she laughs too. Are our husbands a**holes? No. Do we believe each other's husband is an a**hole? No. But sometimes you just need to rant about the small things that drive you insane and that's ok.
Load More Replies... It’s a funny thing about love. Like the commenter said in the article, sometimes you can hate the person you love, and that’s OK. But the funny thing is that, even though today you hate their guts and wish they were dead, underneath that is a solid foundation of love. Tomorrow you will be all lovey-dovey with them again. Like the joke about the old couple who were asked if, in all the decades they were together, either of them had ever considered divorce. The wife answered “Divorce? Never. Murder? Many times!”
Agreed. And if you have a few moments where you want to call your spouse a few names to get it off your chest... Do it in your head, where they can't hear you. It's normal to get angry with their actions. (For example, 30 years in, he still won't put socks in the hamper, and it's been a running joke for 25 of those years. Liek Elf on Shelf, but stinky!)
Overcommunicate? Yeah, I do, and I pay dearly for it. So I disagree with that one.
There is nuance here. The intent was to not make assumptions about what your spouse knows. If you are beating topics to death, not letting things go, or never listening because your are always talking then the problem is indeed you.
Load More Replies... I disagree with number one. I have two friends in very abusive relationships, and if they did this they would have had to endure it with no help or support.
I am very happy today with my family. My name is rose sarah living in USA, My husband left me for a good 3 years now, and i love him so much, i have been looking for a way to get him back since then. i have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that darted me to Dr.Jude a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 2 weeks. Me and my husband are living happily together today, That man is great, you can contact him via email virgolovespell@gmail.com… Now i will advice any serious persons that found themselves in this kind of problem to contact him now a fast solution without steress.. He always hello, now i call him my father.contact him now he is always online email (virgolovespell@gmail.com) or contact him on his whatsapp mobile line +2347051052154 or his website: Virgolovespell.weebly.com
Agree 100% with all of these. Truly great advice. Great positive post to promote togetherness instead tearing people down!
I don’t agree with #1. Everyone needs a best friend outside the relationship to confide in. Likewise, I think you should be able to talk to your therapist or religious leader, if you’re a spiritual person. I think the rule should be tweaked to ‘be discretionary in whom you confide, and to be fair in what you communicate to others’. No, you shouldn’t have a vent session to all your friends about your SO’s annoying habits. However, you should be able to get feedback from a close friend or confidant on a behavior of your SO that affects you in a negative way.
Calling your toddler a heathen is breaking rule #1? Yeet that muppet out of there please. No time for people that think marrying a toddler is the norm.
Beautiful. We have lived our marriage by these same principles. 27 years and counting. We believe everything worth keeping takes “work”—health, financial security, happiness. I think some people fear that word as if somehow “work” is a bad thing. Work is healthy! Sometimes work is harder than others—like the early years of adapting to your new housemate, or the growth pains of children, family death, or financial hardship—but most of the time “work” is just maintenance of something valuable, and actually fun.
I stopped by just to troll this one. But Every one of his points are good. No trolling today.
I'm sorry you don't have "to work at it every day." If you have to "work" at it, that means that there are problems that both of you ore one of you is promoting and generally it is ONLY about control. These are the keys to a great marriage: respect him/her as you want them to respect you. Do NOT tell them what to do. They are NOT children. They are adults. If they don't do what YOU think they should do, then this is not about being married, it is about being in control. My husband NEVER asks for permission to do something. Nor do I. He called one time asked "is it ok if I do such and such." And I said "I am not your mother, you do not have to get 'my permission'. Just ask if I have any plans, which I won't without discussing them with you first." I said one time, when we were having a "discussion" with our son [who was 33 at the time], "you know there are three adults in this discussion, but only one of us knows it."
Unless you just flat out ignore your spouse then yes you have to put in effort every day. I think you rather missed the point... but clearly you have some experiences this is triggering.
Load More Replies...
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