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Welcome to the “Man Who Has It All,” a space that offers a safe place for men whose eyelashes are ruining their career, men who struggle to lose the baby weight, men who share tips on upping their eyebrow game, men who don’t want to appear too pushy so they just don’t apply for the job of their dreams, and men who do it all: juggle housework, life, good looks, PH balance and a job.

And while you question your own PH balance right now (feeling slightly acidic lately?), let me also tell you these are imaginative scenarios in an imaginative world where women rule. Because there’s just that much BS that women just have to suck it up and smile in this sexist society.

No wonder the “Man Who Has It All'' parody project gained a cult following online with almost 558k Facebook followers cringing over hilariously painful and absurdly realistic posts, tweets, memes and jokes. Fiercely ironic and somewhat revolutionary, this is a breath of fresh air in the world that’s soaked in air fresheners.

More info: Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Patreon.com

#3

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Nadia Monteira
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am so happy to be single and have all the intention in the world to remain in this status

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Mary Rose Kent
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m 65 and I’m still incredibly happy I never reproduced! I finally got a tubal ligation in my early 40s because by then my gynecologist had never heard me waiver in my stance. Such a happy day!

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Jes
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, totally assumption and not how it is in my household and anyone I knows household. I am assuming this refers to how things are in america

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Just JoLynn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I live in the US and this is not how it is in my household, or most of the people I know households.

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Leo Domitrix
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This, times one thousand. And don't forget , if you don't have kids, ther's still yard work, and re-painting interior trim, and taking care of pets, and...

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sarahslays2023 avatar
Generic Soda Pop (she/her)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In some households, it's the opposite (before replacing her with his), but most of the time this is pretty accurate

jeremybiggs avatar
Jeremy Biggs
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And...stop being a c**t and start being a human being in a relationship

pinktopsey avatar
Pink
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t have kids but hub works as a freelancer 3 days out of a month. Me, 12 to 14 hours a day, and about 20 hours over weekends. Me: hubby, you gaining grocery shopping.. no, cleaning fish tank. Me you cooking, no cleaning fish tank, me, you doing dishes, no cleaning fish tank… still love him as in two week, it will all be about our indoor plants, month later, the garden, then back to fish tanks

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Duncan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Putting bins out is her job? I'll go tell the missus.

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ZAPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

hmm. I think a lot of the stuff women do is unsolicited. I had a debate with my wife about this. There's necessary stuff and there's cultural stuff you can ignore. I think women are pressurised to be perfect homemakers and have perfect magazine-ready houses at all times. IMHO, that needs to stop. That will eliminate ironing, changing beds, tidying, kids parties, remembering birthdays (especially other than kids), christmas, home decor. All that stuff, which my wife was super at doing - was stuff I really didn't care about, and the more I tried to explain that, the more it fell on deaf ears. However, I received no balanced acknowledgement or thanks for handiman work, fixing PCs, cars, etc. And when I did try organise stuff - birthdays etc - I was told I was doing it wrong and it was promptly taken away. Not acceptable. If you marry someone you trust them to do a job that they offer to do. Another example. Burnt pots. If she burns the stuff in the pot, guess who cleans the pot? Me.

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ZAPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the point I'm making is the list on the left is too short, and the list on the right is actually mostly non-essential, except the kids birthdays, laundry, and food shopping. But in that case, I do the food shopping anyway. So that one goes to my list. As for holidays, if someone absolutely disagrees with you on holiday plans ("always wrong"), what do you do? Fight it or suck it up for the sake of peace? You suck it up. So ACTUALLY though I am highly competent at organising logistics, I'm not given the chance to demonstrate. So yeah, this one goes both ways.

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ben woskje
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact that this myth is still going is astounding. Im in my mid 40's.... yes, in my parents generation, the man went to work and the woman stayed home and did all the housework etc..... ive not seen that in my generation or younger.... im sure it exists, but its not the norm. In our household, i organised our wedding, do most of the cooking, most of the cleaning, all of the shopping, all of the "admin" tasks, all of the washing and ironing, all "outside" tasks around gardening etc... on top of the full time job. Im fine with thi - the wife does her fair share - but very little from that list. The people that believe this s**t either have access to a time machine or are just delusional.

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Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll agree they're delusional, but I'm in my early 50s and it's the norm in my generation. My hubby resents the he** out of doing the shopping even if it's b/c I'm laid up with injury from cleaning the gutters. Everything on that list? My job. He does dishes and trash, and, I'd say he does the financial admin, but we're equal on that. It's the most consistent source of stress in our marriage. he won't even put his da*n laundry away, so I leave it out in a stack and that's just the way he gets to live. His choice. I'm not his mama.

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Mark Berry
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Column A also home repair inside and out, vehicle repair, vehicle washing, lawn mowing, weeding, edging, tree and bush trimming, heavy lifting, anything in the attic, pest control, security... And move the ironing, the holiday decorating, and half the tidying from column B to column A. Don't stereotype.

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Loty
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok, as a man I call BS. All my male friends cook at home and the house chores are WAAAAYYYY longer than Change Lightbulbs. I don't see many women shoveling snow, cleaning gutters or putting up Christmas lights 30 feet up in the air.

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Kimi Tomminello
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a woman that shovels snow and cleans gutters and whose other women friends also contribute to manual labor tasks maybe you're overreacting. This is just parody, you're actually insinuating women don't do any hard labor... And you believe it.

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The Man Who Has It All is an anonymous parody persona, better known as a “working dad” who dishes out nuggets of advice on a daily basis for men like him. Imagine middle-aged men struggling to juggle a successful career, fatherhood, and smooth skin, and you realize you can’t.

That’s the deal—the online page subverts sexist double standards and makes this imaginary dad live in a world ruled by women. This is where real-life advice on how to be a perfect mum is turned upside down and targeted at men, who in real life are left floundering, enjoying their life, career, and whatever as a given.

#6

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Leo Domitrix
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This... Rosalind Franklin, I'd give you the Nobel, posthumous rule be da*ned.

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While these nuggets of advice women are bombarded with daily may not seem like a big deal at first, they do indeed add up in the Man Who Has It All. It’s the sexist assumptions about women that basically say you need your husband’s reassurance to do things you want, you can’t follow your dreams if they get in the way of your family, for you, a family must come first, and then all the other things if you have any time left. All this nonsense has been draining women for years, and it still does.

No wonder the Man Who Has It All became an instant hit on social media. With 558k Facebook followers and 245.1K followers on Twitter, it has gained a loyal fanbase. So in order to find out more about this elusive dad persona and what his life is really like, Bored Panda reached out to the Man Who Has It All as he agreed for an interview in character. “Hi, I'm a busy working dad of three, media personality and he-preneur,” the Man introduced himself.

#7

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Susie Elle
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because, as we all know, male authors write with their penises so it's only natural we differentiate them from normal, female authors who, in fact, use their hands (/sarcasm, love you Stephen King and Joe Abercrombie)

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“I got into social media when I realized there was so little out there for frazzled dads trying to juggle the school run, healthy packed lunches, dewy skin and never-ending legs. All types of men: working dads, Stay At Home Dads (SAHDs), doctors' husbands, childfree men and even crazy cat gentlemen benefit from my advice.”

For those who’re wondering what exactly the name “Man Who Has It All” means, the Man said that “it refers to men now being able to have it all—a career AND a baby, plus, if we're lucky, friends, hobbies, a beautiful home, cashmere knits, lazy suppers, a youthful glow and effortless party eats. Aren't we lucky?”

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Nathan Pogorzala
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do these dopes not realize this is all written in jest? Everyone is all butt hurt over some jokes highlighting double standards

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Susie Elle
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whenever I read 'smile with your eyes' I just imagine someone squinting really hard

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With so many following on social media, the Man has clearly built himself a name like no other. And it seems like he’s enjoying the time of his life. “I love it when people engage and share their own tips with me. For example, someone on Twitter said that if dad is feeling overwhelmed in the run up to Christmas, he could ask his dad to help, get up two hours earlier or simply take a few moments to breathe,” he said.

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On the other hand, the Man said he doesn’t like the battle between the stay at home dads and working dads. “Men can be so catty,” he added.

#15

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Queenie-Poo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, laundry is (generally) my responsibility for our family. Which suits me fine; I'm picky about how it's done. But if I can't for some reason (like when laundry day fell the day after I had a wisdom tooth pulled!), my husband does it. I'm definitely not going to whine about how it's done as long as it gets done.

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For those wondering what the Man has been up to lately, the dad has been pretty busy. “I've been getting my fab little t-shirt shop ready for Christmas and working on some new posts for next year. I've also been coming up with new debate topics to engage my fans.”

#17

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PenitentEyeball
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looks like Jacob doesn’t understand satire… still no reason to downvote them, they are right…

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The Man also assured us that we’d be surprised how political men can be. “For example, should working dads go part-time? How old is too old to wear shorts? Are you layering your products in the right order? And, my most controversial debate, can men be funny?”

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#22

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Lauren Caswell
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Secretly, I'd love to 'name' a few more, but that is enough to make the point. Did you know about marginalia? Drawings in the margins. There are hilarious medieval ones! Enjoy the rest of the posts🙂

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Lauren Caswell
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

(/s)Men are just better at nurturing though. And anyway it's always been a masculine trait, being a good husband and taking care of the home and family. It's part of the bible. It's an easy life, why are they complaining (/S!)

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ZAPanda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well look, I mean if his dad doesn't help out, what's he going to do with his time? I mean he has to earn his keep. He just sits around all day knitting and reading the newspaper. I mean the least he can do is help his son clean the house.

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Eric G
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Men who wear tank tops, tight shirts or shorts are just asking for it. It's their fault for being sexually assaulted. Dress moderately, not like a gigolo. After all, girls will be girls.

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