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“[Am I The Jerk] For Being Furious My Wife Brought Home A Dog For Our 4YO For Her Safety?”
Young boy cuddling a puppy outdoors, highlighting a high-earning wife and husband puppy care conflict.

“[Am I The Jerk] For Being Furious My Wife Brought Home A Dog For Our 4YO For Her Safety?”

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Having a pet is a wonderful experience, as it fills people’s lives with companionship and love, but it’s important for both partners to be on the same page when it comes to this decision. If only one person is on board with getting a furry friend, then it might lead to resentment.

This is what a man experienced after his wife got a puppy, even though he had specifically said he didn’t want one. After that, instead of taking responsibility for the animal, she expected him to do it all just because she was the breadwinner.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    A disparity in finances between partners can sometimes lead to big conflicts over time

    Man upset with unwanted puppy responsibility, standing in a classroom with folded arms and a serious expression.

    Image credits: Ravindushan / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The poster, who is a teacher, shared that he was out of the house most of the day due to his work, while his wife worked from home, making three times his salary

    Man upset holding unwanted puppy, struggling with new pet responsibility and feeling overwhelmed at home.

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    Man looking upset holding an unwanted puppy, illustrating the stress of puppy responsibility and care.

    Man upset about unwanted puppy responsibility, expressing concern over commitment and cleanup tasks at home.

    Man upset about unwanted puppy responsibility, reflecting on challenges of caring for a new dog in the household.

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    Young man upset while discussing unwanted puppy responsibility with woman rejecting the conversation indoors on a couch.

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    Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    One day, his wife told him that she wanted a puppy for her safety and for their toddler, but even though the poster wasn’t on board with the idea, she went ahead with it

    Text showing a conversation about feeling upset over unwanted puppy responsibility and concerns for safety in the house.

    Text showing a conversation about feeling upset over unwanted puppy responsibility and concerns for safety in the house.

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    Man upset holding an unwanted puppy, showing frustration over new pet responsibility at home.

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    Man upset holding unwanted puppy responsibility looking stressed sitting on couch in a cluttered living room.

    Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The poster had to handle all of the responsibilities related to the puppy because his wife kept making excuses about being busy

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    Man upset holding unwanted puppy, feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility of pet care and commitment.

    Man upset with unwanted puppy responsibility, sitting on couch looking frustrated and overwhelmed.

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    Man looking upset and overwhelmed while holding an unwanted puppy, facing unexpected pet responsibility indoors.

    Man upset holding an unwanted puppy, overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for the pet at home.

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    When the man confronted his wife about the situation, she put him down for being a teacher and said that since she earned more, she got to call the shots

    Even before the couple got a dog and began fighting about it, the OP’s wife always used to disrespect him because of his job and earning capacity. Since she made three times his salary, she probably felt that it was okay to throw her weight around and let him pick up the slack around the home.

    It clearly seems like money matters had been driving a wedge between the couple, and that they never really addressed the issue properly. This is actually what many partners face when their earning capacity is unequal, and that’s why experts state that financial disagreements are a strong predictor of divorce.

    Since the woman had been earning more and working from home, she decided that it was time to get a dog, which would ensure the safety of her and her toddler when her husband wasn’t home. The problem is that she went ahead with this decision even though her partner wasn’t on board with the idea.

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    This isn’t the ideal way to go about getting a furry friend, even though there are many stories of people who’ve successfully adopted a dog that won over their loved one’s hearts. According to pet advisors, the best way to adopt an animal when one’s partner isn’t on board is to start small, possibly with fostering, to see if they warm up to the idea.

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    Man upset holding leash, expressing frustration with unwanted puppy responsibility during a walk in the forest.

    Image credits: oksix / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    Even though the woman wanted a puppy for the sake of safety, it also seems like she wanted to make this decision to show her partner who had more power in their relationship. That’s why she was perfectly content with asking him to manage everything, like cleaning up after the animal and giving it food.

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    In an ideal situation, nobody should just get a pet as a gift or surprise, because there are a lot of responsibilities that come with such a decision. Veterinarians state that anyone looking to own a pet should have at least an hour a day to care for and interact with the animal, and they should also be able to afford to look after it.

    Any animal, whether it’s a bird, cat, or dog, can also live for many years, which is why adopting one of them is a huge commitment. That’s why it wasn’t right for the woman to force her husband into looking after the puppy against his wishes, since she essentially put a decade-long responsibility on his shoulders.

    The OP didn’t know what to do about this situation, and he felt bullied into submission by his wife. He was frustrated at the fact that she was holding her breadwinner status over his head and, as a result, expecting him to just go along with any decision she made. Hopefully, the woman realizes how much her actions affect her partner, or else she might end up losing him.

    Do you think it’s right for the person earning more to call the shots in the relationship? Let us know your honest thoughts below.

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    Netizens sided with the man because they felt that his wife was too controlling, and that he should not just give in to her demands

    Man upset about unwanted puppy responsibility, discussing controlling spouse and joint pet decisions in marriage.

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    Man upset holding unwanted puppy, showing frustration with new pet responsibility at home.

    Red-faced man looking upset and overwhelmed, holding an unwanted puppy, showing stress from puppy responsibility.

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    Man upset holding unwanted puppy, feeling overwhelmed by new pet responsibility in a cluttered home setting.

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    Comment discussing a man upset about unwanted puppy responsibility, advising him to stop caring for the dog and set boundaries.

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    Man upset holding unwanted puppy, feeling overwhelmed by new pet responsibility in a home setting.

    Man upset holding unwanted puppy, showing frustration and stress from unexpected pet responsibility indoors.

    Alt text: Man upset about unwanted puppy responsibility, expressing frustration over unfair dog care duties.

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    Man upset holding an unwanted puppy, showing frustration and stress from unexpected pet responsibility.

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    Man upset sitting at table, holding unwanted puppy, overwhelmed by new pet responsibility at home.

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    Comment discussing man upset with unwanted puppy responsibility, advising to make partner fully handle dog care.

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    Comment discussing a man upset about unwanted puppy responsibility and advising to address real emotional issues.

    Man upset holding puppy, showing frustration with unwanted puppy responsibility in a home setting.

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    Man upset holding an unwanted puppy, overwhelmed by new pet responsibility in a home setting.

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    Beverly Noronha

    Beverly Noronha

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

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    Beverly Noronha

    Beverly Noronha

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

    What do you think ?
    Earonn -
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is financial abu.se, and it's not better just because it's one of us women who does it.

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband stuck me with raising and training the GSD puppy HE wanted. I was fine with getting a dog, but was looking for a grown and trained dog, NOT a puppy, as I have never trained a puppy before. I have cared for and trained the dog, who is now 10 months old and 73 lbs, because I love animals and it would be unfair for me to her to not step up, because my husband did not. Joke’s on him now, though, because she is definitely not his dog, she’s mine. She is bonded to me, listens to me, and protects me, and just jumps up on him and constantly nips him and barks at him like he’s a stranger. I find that quite satisfying.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ATTA GIRL ❤️huggles to puppers from me n my 4 fur babies x

    Load More Replies...
    G A
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Animal and marital a***e. Great work, Mrs!

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Divorce her. Take her for everything. Remind the court that you'll need lots of her money because you're "just a teacher".

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would 100% not be cleaning up after that dog. I would also 100% be filing for divorce since I am that disrespected. And there is no pre-nup - oooops, how you like me now, b***h?

    Emilu
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You buy it and then expect someone else to look after it? Lady, that's not just being an AH; that's being a terrible pet owner. If you wanted something cute to look at, get a plushie. Also, you're telling your husband he's "just" a teacher? Rrrrr. My mum's a teacher and I've seen how dam‍n hard she works and the insane hours she puts in (far more than her pay reflects, as per a lot of jobs). Just because you get paid more doesn't necessarily mean your job is more worthwhile. I mean, if we want to nut it out, I'd say a teacher is far worthier than a banker.

    sturmwesen
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you buy a dog he is your responsibilty. full stop. parent buys dog for kids? parents responsibility. wife buys a dog? her effing responsibility. if she wont care for the dog he needs to go to a better home. I am on dog three in 18 years with my BF. every dog was my decision so I paid and I do 90% walking, 100% training and paying.

    moggiemoo
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait until the dog s***s on the carpet. Put the 'gift' on her pillow.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mate had a sabotage cat who took the 3 minute window of my brushing my teeth and going to the loo before bed to have a dump right between the pillows. I put my head down, smelt it, looked all around before realising where it was... Nothing like having to change all bedding and sort out the mattress before sleeping in the other room at 1am. Next morning she stared me straight in the face and shat the living room carpet. I never sat that cat again. Most people only sat it once.

    Load More Replies...
    Eliza
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Divorce this c**t, and she can have her little house and puppy s**t. Use your money to get away from this financially a*****e b***h.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry as a dog owner as had 5 dogs and horses to when I had my two kids lol , (worked in rescue ) can someone please hi tail it to their house n kidnap that poor puppy , oh n maybe drop a line to cps to !, NEITHER sound grown up enough to have either ffs , but defo get that poor furbaby out , Ops comment puppy’s need training blah blah YES YES THEY DO , but so do little children , n having a puppy with a child is one of the best things ever , ask any dog owner or cat owner as had em as kids !! your both selfish entitled AH,S you more than her tbh, but her for being obnoxious about her money , but ffs she’s home all day with a child ALONE AND WORKING ,so whilst I’d say let her keep the puppy , I don’t want EITHER OF YOU to have a dog!! poor thing will end up chucked out in the yard all day rain or shine no love no walks etc please one one in USA go get this dog 😨😭

    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why did you marry this b***h? Dàmn...

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why did she marry HIM !! she’s home all work long working hours to and a child, all she wanted was a dog ffs ,that said I wish someone could go get that poor puppy ,stat before it gets slug out in the yard 24/7 no love shelter or walks n food they both sound that kind of,to immature to have either kids or dogs tbh

    Load More Replies...
    Taffy Renee
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She wanted the dog so she can take care of it. Hubby should sit back and enjoy the chaos while posting pics of the damage online.

    Tobias Reaper
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    where does she live that she feels she needs a dog to help her feel safe at home

    Andrew Swanson
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Christ, and to top it all off, this ccunt's a banker? Sounds like she embodies the culture of her profession quite well. Zero actual contribution or added production to society or to her husband's life, to say nothing of her child. "People" like her, the leeches who do nothing, add nothing, and deign to look down on the rest of us from up on high deserve a short drop and a sudden stop, no more and no less. Hope this guy is able to inflict as much damage as possible on her heart and mind during the divorce he ought to pursue.

    J R
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Honestly, I don't see a good future for this couple. The wife is so toxic. I firmly believe pets are something both partners should agree on and everyone in the family should have some responsibility for. Dogs, in particular, require a lot of care and work, and their presence changes the whole household's life. The wife shouldn't have bought a dog. She also is using the fact that she's the breadwinner to justfy OP having no say in this massive change. That's financial a***e. Then she forces all the work on him like he's a servant. He needs to leave because someone like her doesn't get better.

    Fungus John
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    divorce her, take her money, and the dog

    Spittnimage
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is she gonna take care of the puppy while hubby's at work or just let it pee and 💩 everywhere and wait for the manservant to get home and clean it up?

    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hire a trainer and a dog walker, you can afford it. The greater issue is the contempt you both have for one another in the marriage.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Contempt they have for one another? I'd say it's pretty one-sided; after all, to the wife, OP is "just" a teacher.

    Load More Replies...
    Katarzyna Drozd
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow. This is so insane on many levels. Have some self respect, move out and serve her divorce papers.

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is financial abu.se, and it's not better just because it's one of us women who does it.

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband stuck me with raising and training the GSD puppy HE wanted. I was fine with getting a dog, but was looking for a grown and trained dog, NOT a puppy, as I have never trained a puppy before. I have cared for and trained the dog, who is now 10 months old and 73 lbs, because I love animals and it would be unfair for me to her to not step up, because my husband did not. Joke’s on him now, though, because she is definitely not his dog, she’s mine. She is bonded to me, listens to me, and protects me, and just jumps up on him and constantly nips him and barks at him like he’s a stranger. I find that quite satisfying.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ATTA GIRL ❤️huggles to puppers from me n my 4 fur babies x

    Load More Replies...
    G A
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Animal and marital a***e. Great work, Mrs!

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Divorce her. Take her for everything. Remind the court that you'll need lots of her money because you're "just a teacher".

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would 100% not be cleaning up after that dog. I would also 100% be filing for divorce since I am that disrespected. And there is no pre-nup - oooops, how you like me now, b***h?

    Emilu
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You buy it and then expect someone else to look after it? Lady, that's not just being an AH; that's being a terrible pet owner. If you wanted something cute to look at, get a plushie. Also, you're telling your husband he's "just" a teacher? Rrrrr. My mum's a teacher and I've seen how dam‍n hard she works and the insane hours she puts in (far more than her pay reflects, as per a lot of jobs). Just because you get paid more doesn't necessarily mean your job is more worthwhile. I mean, if we want to nut it out, I'd say a teacher is far worthier than a banker.

    sturmwesen
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you buy a dog he is your responsibilty. full stop. parent buys dog for kids? parents responsibility. wife buys a dog? her effing responsibility. if she wont care for the dog he needs to go to a better home. I am on dog three in 18 years with my BF. every dog was my decision so I paid and I do 90% walking, 100% training and paying.

    moggiemoo
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait until the dog s***s on the carpet. Put the 'gift' on her pillow.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mate had a sabotage cat who took the 3 minute window of my brushing my teeth and going to the loo before bed to have a dump right between the pillows. I put my head down, smelt it, looked all around before realising where it was... Nothing like having to change all bedding and sort out the mattress before sleeping in the other room at 1am. Next morning she stared me straight in the face and shat the living room carpet. I never sat that cat again. Most people only sat it once.

    Load More Replies...
    Eliza
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Divorce this c**t, and she can have her little house and puppy s**t. Use your money to get away from this financially a*****e b***h.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry as a dog owner as had 5 dogs and horses to when I had my two kids lol , (worked in rescue ) can someone please hi tail it to their house n kidnap that poor puppy , oh n maybe drop a line to cps to !, NEITHER sound grown up enough to have either ffs , but defo get that poor furbaby out , Ops comment puppy’s need training blah blah YES YES THEY DO , but so do little children , n having a puppy with a child is one of the best things ever , ask any dog owner or cat owner as had em as kids !! your both selfish entitled AH,S you more than her tbh, but her for being obnoxious about her money , but ffs she’s home all day with a child ALONE AND WORKING ,so whilst I’d say let her keep the puppy , I don’t want EITHER OF YOU to have a dog!! poor thing will end up chucked out in the yard all day rain or shine no love no walks etc please one one in USA go get this dog 😨😭

    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why did you marry this b***h? Dàmn...

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why did she marry HIM !! she’s home all work long working hours to and a child, all she wanted was a dog ffs ,that said I wish someone could go get that poor puppy ,stat before it gets slug out in the yard 24/7 no love shelter or walks n food they both sound that kind of,to immature to have either kids or dogs tbh

    Load More Replies...
    Taffy Renee
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She wanted the dog so she can take care of it. Hubby should sit back and enjoy the chaos while posting pics of the damage online.

    Tobias Reaper
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    where does she live that she feels she needs a dog to help her feel safe at home

    Andrew Swanson
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Christ, and to top it all off, this ccunt's a banker? Sounds like she embodies the culture of her profession quite well. Zero actual contribution or added production to society or to her husband's life, to say nothing of her child. "People" like her, the leeches who do nothing, add nothing, and deign to look down on the rest of us from up on high deserve a short drop and a sudden stop, no more and no less. Hope this guy is able to inflict as much damage as possible on her heart and mind during the divorce he ought to pursue.

    J R
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Honestly, I don't see a good future for this couple. The wife is so toxic. I firmly believe pets are something both partners should agree on and everyone in the family should have some responsibility for. Dogs, in particular, require a lot of care and work, and their presence changes the whole household's life. The wife shouldn't have bought a dog. She also is using the fact that she's the breadwinner to justfy OP having no say in this massive change. That's financial a***e. Then she forces all the work on him like he's a servant. He needs to leave because someone like her doesn't get better.

    Fungus John
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    divorce her, take her money, and the dog

    Spittnimage
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is she gonna take care of the puppy while hubby's at work or just let it pee and 💩 everywhere and wait for the manservant to get home and clean it up?

    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hire a trainer and a dog walker, you can afford it. The greater issue is the contempt you both have for one another in the marriage.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Contempt they have for one another? I'd say it's pretty one-sided; after all, to the wife, OP is "just" a teacher.

    Load More Replies...
    Katarzyna Drozd
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow. This is so insane on many levels. Have some self respect, move out and serve her divorce papers.

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