Man Sees His Wife Berating His Employee Who Made A Mistake, Reminds Her She’s “Not The Boss” And Tells Her To Leave
Working with your spouse can put a serious strain on the relationship. From taking the workplace conflict home to navigating between unclearly defined roles, there are too many things that prove how working with your SO may not always be the best idea. And how could it not be, when a spouse’s personality directly influences our career success, as shown by this study.
And this story shows a glimpse into how spouse dynamics can go awry when an incident happens at work. A 41-year-old male has recently shared a post on r/AITA asking if he was wrong to tell his wife she’s not the boss of his company where they both work.
The conflict began when “one of my workers accidentally ordered 20 of one part instead of 2,” and when the author’s wife found out, she “absolutely BERATED this poor guy.” The author heard his wife yelling at him, and stepped in to take the matter into his own hands.
Let’s see the full story right below and be sure to share your opinion on the whole incident in the comment section!
A man shared a story of how he told his colleague wife she’s not the boss after she yelled at their worker for screwing up
Image credits: Yan Krukov (not the actual photo)
And this is what people had to comment on the whole situation
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This is going to end in divorce. It will be fine. He doesn't need to spend his life with a crazy person on a hair trigger.
It won't be fine if there's not a prenup. She sounds like the same kind of person that would cry about how she's accustom to a certain lifestyle and get alimony. I say she needs to grow the eff up and get her own career. Stop being a lazy bitch mooching off her husband's success. He was successful BEFORE they were together, they did NOT build this company together. Women like her make me sick and give women like me (us) a bad name.
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In Spain we have a saying that states: where is the cooking pot , don put your f**ng c*ck. That means dont involve close famaily in your business, otherwise things like that is going to happen...and it´s not the same to have an issue with a employee than with a familiar employee.
We have a similar saying in the States; don't sh*t where you eat.
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NTA. I understand the motivation behind hiring your wife. After all, who can you trust more than your partner. However in my experience, this arrangement rarely work out unless the couple is able to compartmentalize, drawing a line between their professional and personal relationship. This is easier said than done, even for highly trained and experienced professionals.
What his wife did was wrong on a human level, but why did she do it? We hear about the employee's good work ethic and good standing, but was she always pulling stunts like this, or was it a first? Everything in life is mediated even our own brains will pull trick on us but I can't help feeling we haven't had the full story.
She did it because she knew it was an expensive screw up that would require paperwork that she would have to do. So, she was (in a way) defending her husbands company earnings, but also annoyed about extra work she'd have to do. She just went about it totally wrong, and went over her husbands head
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Another IATA story where's it's clear for everyone that the person asking the question certainly not is ts the @sshole. As someone stated before; Bp is becoming nothing more than a collection of tiktok-stupidy and Reddit IATA-posts. And the blanks are filled in with : "Empowered, strong woman shuts down ...... guys with ........"
This is why you don't work with your spouse or SO....especially if it's a situation of the business being established way before the relationship started.
Sorry but what is the point of this post? I came here for creative and funny content. The aita group on Reddit... I don't believe half of the stories there. Next to that you never know whether important details are left out, you never hear the other side of the story. BP ITA for posting this 😉
I worked for a florist. When the husband was there, he never even bothered us. We knew what to do. When 'the wife' was there it all went to hell. She had no idea what we did. One day the owner came down from his office, and I was inside the cooler cleaning windows. There were flower deliveries that needed to be cleaned and put away, outgoing orders that needed address verification, and to be wrapped. The man was upset and wondered why I was cleaning windows. The wife said, 'we'll sell more if they're sparkling'. He yelled at her for putting me on that particular task, when we had actual sales to satisfy. She hated me after that. For following her order. My boyfriend worked there too. We would take the bus together and sit in a little park before work. My bf would walk down to the shop and come back to tell me if 'the wife' was there. One day, he said 'she's there' and I burst into tears. He sent me home, and we both quit that day. I got a great job the next day.
I hope you were honest enough with the boss to let him know his wife was the reason you two quit. He may rethink his decision of having her run the shop.
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And this ladies and gentlemen is why you don't let your significant other work for you.
Why did this person have to put this online? Sort out your life in your own home.
A strong case for avoiding nepotism in the workplace. To add a layer of complexity, though - unless there was some prenup or the like, the spouse technically owns half of everything. That does gives her more authority than she was granted in this story. In no way does that excuse how she treated the worker.
Part ownership of a business is not the same as executive authority in the day to day management. She had no right to discipline staff even in an appropriate, professional manner, let alone by screaming abuse at them until they cry.
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The dude(Ette?) who said YTA for not firing her was right. His response was too weak, and what she did will have a negative impact on trust with the other employees for years. She needs to go.
My hubby has owned a very successful business since long before we met. We decided that when the kids started school, I would work FOR him. We had a discussion before I started, the substance was that there can only be one boss. He started the business before I came around, he has created and run this successfully before I came around. He said would listen to my suggestions, ideas etc. but he would make the final decision. If any business acrimony started to affect our marriage, I would no longer work FOR him. We made the decision to work together, and that we would never let it come between us and our marriage. We had this discussion BEFORE I started working for him. I have been working for him for about 10 years now without issue. Most of the time he agrees with my suggestions and likes my ideas but I know when to step back and respect his decision even if it goes against my opinion. I am now indispensable to him and his business, there are many things he can't do without me.
You don't have kids. It's an advantage when divorcing a crazy person.
My family doesn't own the business, but my mom, sister, and I all work together in a pizza buffet restaurant. On some occasions, my mom is the manager and she treats us like she would treat any other employee. She doesn't go on power trips and works really hard.
I work with my husband in a small business. He worked the shop, I did the admin/finances/banking. It worked fine, until one of the team wanted to do more (she was a supervisor from the previous owner) but she was rubbish at supervising and didn't understand the computer system. My husband was good in the shop, customers loved him and he got on well with all the work team. But she wanted more. I gave he more, a Saturday morning, busiest day of the week and she screwed up. We knew she would. I talked to her at the end of her shift and said that to earn supervisor salary, she needed to put some time in and learn all the jobs. Did it like that, went to a union representative, they wanted a meeting, I had one with them, showed them her mistake, how I offered training, they told her she should do the training or lose some money. She didn't train, she lost money and tried to make things bad for us in the shop. We got the union back, they told her to be grateful we gave her this much time!
Great story about your Karen wife, dude! Also, kinda weird how that first picture is a Karen yelling at the black employee who's apparently begging her?
according to this comment he let the wife get away with it I don't understand pls explain man-tells-...88adc5.jpg 
He didn't fire or discipline her for what she did. That's letting her get away with it.
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NTA He asked her to leave the room, politely, THREE times. He's not doing some medieval "I'm the man, do what I say" thing - it's literally his business, and he's literally the boss.
NTA! Lol, I never put descriptions, so ima agree wif all the NTA peeps here
This is why husband and wives don't or can't work together in a position of power. What can be done if you want to save your marriage in my opinion is have a meeting and go over some rules and set some boundaries. She is not to cross any lines that deal with employees. Make no exceptions. As stated previously, had it been someone else you would have fired them. It's hard working with a spouse and then going or coming home to them, choices to be made 😠
Absolutely NTA. Even if she was a boss - yelling at your employee for an honest mistake that can be sorted out in one hour is beyond unprofessional. Doing so when you aren't actually their boss makes it even more unacceptable.
work in the same place with someone you know (regardless who is) is never a good idea...
Well, this isn't really about who is the asshole because everyone made a mistake and it's possible that it'll cost everything. The mans work should not have been allowed to mix with his personal life. He really shouldn't have hired her, at least not to work in the same office. She was bored. The truth is she really should have gone after another job... or better yet, do volunteer work. Volunteer work is usually more rewarding AND allows for possibilities to open up. That's really where this whole thing went south.
YTA. Nepotism is a poor recruitment tool for starters. Then there's a clear lack of job description and professional boundaries for the wife from the outset. This directly leads to her abusing a member of staff which is where HR step in. But you are HR. So you need to fire your wife or at least put her on an official warning about future conduct. As far as I can tell, you haven't. That's why it's very clear that YTA.
She should find employment else where. She could do anything because you don't need the money. Volunteer work, become an artist, write a book, train for marathons. If she just wants to get out of the house and be productive, then she can pick any occupation that doesn't require a degree because she doesn't need to worry about how much she gets in compensation. If money wasn't a thing for me, I would paint and volunteer for public defenders.
1. If she doesn't want to sleep with you, she can go to the doghouse. Her decision 2. If you are a couple, this decision are to be made together: "Ok honey, now you go and act pissed with the client for the time he make us loose, then I enter and I sweet-talk him in paying a part of the overhead", not going behind your back for something you didn't want her to do.
About once a year my wife approaches the topic of now nice it would be if we worked together. She is a very smart and capable person, and I think I am too, but our approaches are wildly different. No way in hell would it work, and it surprises me that for as smart as she is she doesn't realize that this would be our future. Why screw up our marriage?
ESH but mostly the husband. His poor unprofessional management got him here. No one including this wife understands their role, responsibilities, accountability or discipline process. He needs to start running his company like real business, not a whim based fiefdom.
How on earth does anyone come to a conclusion like that based on the info provided?
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ESH: he spent so much time telling us why he's so much more important than his wife while saying it's unrelated. Of course it's related b/c it showed us how important and awesome he thinks he is while she is just a wife and can't get a decent job. He thinks he is so superior to her and it shows. Two employees fought b/c one employee thought they were the boss b/c they're married to the boss. She was so far out of line, she should be fired. He screamed at an employee in front of another employee and handled it so poorly. Her best bet is to apologize and find a job someone else where she'll understand her place as an employee.
I agree ESH, but what he was saying is unrelated is how he was well-established in his career and finances. He was setting the background that this was not a business that she helped to build. He built his own empire and made room in it to support his wife, then she took advantage of that on an authority trip. As someone else has said, he was in the wrong for being so lenient on her. This sounds like a termination in any other case, but I know that's a VERY tough decision for him to make.
Load More Replies... This is going to end in divorce. It will be fine. He doesn't need to spend his life with a crazy person on a hair trigger.
It won't be fine if there's not a prenup. She sounds like the same kind of person that would cry about how she's accustom to a certain lifestyle and get alimony. I say she needs to grow the eff up and get her own career. Stop being a lazy bitch mooching off her husband's success. He was successful BEFORE they were together, they did NOT build this company together. Women like her make me sick and give women like me (us) a bad name.
Load More Replies... In Spain we have a saying that states: where is the cooking pot , don put your f**ng c*ck. That means dont involve close famaily in your business, otherwise things like that is going to happen...and it´s not the same to have an issue with a employee than with a familiar employee.
We have a similar saying in the States; don't sh*t where you eat.
Load More Replies... NTA. I understand the motivation behind hiring your wife. After all, who can you trust more than your partner. However in my experience, this arrangement rarely work out unless the couple is able to compartmentalize, drawing a line between their professional and personal relationship. This is easier said than done, even for highly trained and experienced professionals.
What his wife did was wrong on a human level, but why did she do it? We hear about the employee's good work ethic and good standing, but was she always pulling stunts like this, or was it a first? Everything in life is mediated even our own brains will pull trick on us but I can't help feeling we haven't had the full story.
She did it because she knew it was an expensive screw up that would require paperwork that she would have to do. So, she was (in a way) defending her husbands company earnings, but also annoyed about extra work she'd have to do. She just went about it totally wrong, and went over her husbands head
Load More Replies... Another IATA story where's it's clear for everyone that the person asking the question certainly not is ts the @sshole. As someone stated before; Bp is becoming nothing more than a collection of tiktok-stupidy and Reddit IATA-posts. And the blanks are filled in with : "Empowered, strong woman shuts down ...... guys with ........"
This is why you don't work with your spouse or SO....especially if it's a situation of the business being established way before the relationship started.
Sorry but what is the point of this post? I came here for creative and funny content. The aita group on Reddit... I don't believe half of the stories there. Next to that you never know whether important details are left out, you never hear the other side of the story. BP ITA for posting this 😉
I worked for a florist. When the husband was there, he never even bothered us. We knew what to do. When 'the wife' was there it all went to hell. She had no idea what we did. One day the owner came down from his office, and I was inside the cooler cleaning windows. There were flower deliveries that needed to be cleaned and put away, outgoing orders that needed address verification, and to be wrapped. The man was upset and wondered why I was cleaning windows. The wife said, 'we'll sell more if they're sparkling'. He yelled at her for putting me on that particular task, when we had actual sales to satisfy. She hated me after that. For following her order. My boyfriend worked there too. We would take the bus together and sit in a little park before work. My bf would walk down to the shop and come back to tell me if 'the wife' was there. One day, he said 'she's there' and I burst into tears. He sent me home, and we both quit that day. I got a great job the next day.
I hope you were honest enough with the boss to let him know his wife was the reason you two quit. He may rethink his decision of having her run the shop.
Load More Replies... And this ladies and gentlemen is why you don't let your significant other work for you.
Why did this person have to put this online? Sort out your life in your own home.
A strong case for avoiding nepotism in the workplace. To add a layer of complexity, though - unless there was some prenup or the like, the spouse technically owns half of everything. That does gives her more authority than she was granted in this story. In no way does that excuse how she treated the worker.
Part ownership of a business is not the same as executive authority in the day to day management. She had no right to discipline staff even in an appropriate, professional manner, let alone by screaming abuse at them until they cry.
Load More Replies... The dude(Ette?) who said YTA for not firing her was right. His response was too weak, and what she did will have a negative impact on trust with the other employees for years. She needs to go.
My hubby has owned a very successful business since long before we met. We decided that when the kids started school, I would work FOR him. We had a discussion before I started, the substance was that there can only be one boss. He started the business before I came around, he has created and run this successfully before I came around. He said would listen to my suggestions, ideas etc. but he would make the final decision. If any business acrimony started to affect our marriage, I would no longer work FOR him. We made the decision to work together, and that we would never let it come between us and our marriage. We had this discussion BEFORE I started working for him. I have been working for him for about 10 years now without issue. Most of the time he agrees with my suggestions and likes my ideas but I know when to step back and respect his decision even if it goes against my opinion. I am now indispensable to him and his business, there are many things he can't do without me.
You don't have kids. It's an advantage when divorcing a crazy person.
My family doesn't own the business, but my mom, sister, and I all work together in a pizza buffet restaurant. On some occasions, my mom is the manager and she treats us like she would treat any other employee. She doesn't go on power trips and works really hard.
I work with my husband in a small business. He worked the shop, I did the admin/finances/banking. It worked fine, until one of the team wanted to do more (she was a supervisor from the previous owner) but she was rubbish at supervising and didn't understand the computer system. My husband was good in the shop, customers loved him and he got on well with all the work team. But she wanted more. I gave he more, a Saturday morning, busiest day of the week and she screwed up. We knew she would. I talked to her at the end of her shift and said that to earn supervisor salary, she needed to put some time in and learn all the jobs. Did it like that, went to a union representative, they wanted a meeting, I had one with them, showed them her mistake, how I offered training, they told her she should do the training or lose some money. She didn't train, she lost money and tried to make things bad for us in the shop. We got the union back, they told her to be grateful we gave her this much time!
Great story about your Karen wife, dude! Also, kinda weird how that first picture is a Karen yelling at the black employee who's apparently begging her?
according to this comment he let the wife get away with it I don't understand pls explain man-tells-...88adc5.jpg
He didn't fire or discipline her for what she did. That's letting her get away with it.
Load More Replies... NTA He asked her to leave the room, politely, THREE times. He's not doing some medieval "I'm the man, do what I say" thing - it's literally his business, and he's literally the boss.
NTA! Lol, I never put descriptions, so ima agree wif all the NTA peeps here
This is why husband and wives don't or can't work together in a position of power. What can be done if you want to save your marriage in my opinion is have a meeting and go over some rules and set some boundaries. She is not to cross any lines that deal with employees. Make no exceptions. As stated previously, had it been someone else you would have fired them. It's hard working with a spouse and then going or coming home to them, choices to be made 😠
Absolutely NTA. Even if she was a boss - yelling at your employee for an honest mistake that can be sorted out in one hour is beyond unprofessional. Doing so when you aren't actually their boss makes it even more unacceptable.
work in the same place with someone you know (regardless who is) is never a good idea...
Well, this isn't really about who is the asshole because everyone made a mistake and it's possible that it'll cost everything. The mans work should not have been allowed to mix with his personal life. He really shouldn't have hired her, at least not to work in the same office. She was bored. The truth is she really should have gone after another job... or better yet, do volunteer work. Volunteer work is usually more rewarding AND allows for possibilities to open up. That's really where this whole thing went south.
YTA. Nepotism is a poor recruitment tool for starters. Then there's a clear lack of job description and professional boundaries for the wife from the outset. This directly leads to her abusing a member of staff which is where HR step in. But you are HR. So you need to fire your wife or at least put her on an official warning about future conduct. As far as I can tell, you haven't. That's why it's very clear that YTA.
She should find employment else where. She could do anything because you don't need the money. Volunteer work, become an artist, write a book, train for marathons. If she just wants to get out of the house and be productive, then she can pick any occupation that doesn't require a degree because she doesn't need to worry about how much she gets in compensation. If money wasn't a thing for me, I would paint and volunteer for public defenders.
1. If she doesn't want to sleep with you, she can go to the doghouse. Her decision 2. If you are a couple, this decision are to be made together: "Ok honey, now you go and act pissed with the client for the time he make us loose, then I enter and I sweet-talk him in paying a part of the overhead", not going behind your back for something you didn't want her to do.
About once a year my wife approaches the topic of now nice it would be if we worked together. She is a very smart and capable person, and I think I am too, but our approaches are wildly different. No way in hell would it work, and it surprises me that for as smart as she is she doesn't realize that this would be our future. Why screw up our marriage?
ESH but mostly the husband. His poor unprofessional management got him here. No one including this wife understands their role, responsibilities, accountability or discipline process. He needs to start running his company like real business, not a whim based fiefdom.
How on earth does anyone come to a conclusion like that based on the info provided?
Load More Replies... ESH: he spent so much time telling us why he's so much more important than his wife while saying it's unrelated. Of course it's related b/c it showed us how important and awesome he thinks he is while she is just a wife and can't get a decent job. He thinks he is so superior to her and it shows. Two employees fought b/c one employee thought they were the boss b/c they're married to the boss. She was so far out of line, she should be fired. He screamed at an employee in front of another employee and handled it so poorly. Her best bet is to apologize and find a job someone else where she'll understand her place as an employee.
I agree ESH, but what he was saying is unrelated is how he was well-established in his career and finances. He was setting the background that this was not a business that she helped to build. He built his own empire and made room in it to support his wife, then she took advantage of that on an authority trip. As someone else has said, he was in the wrong for being so lenient on her. This sounds like a termination in any other case, but I know that's a VERY tough decision for him to make.
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