Husband Gets Reunited With His Late Wife Through VR To Make One Last Memory
If you mention virtual reality (VR) to someone, they’re bound to think of just video games or interactive museum tours. However, VR is much more powerful than just that. It might have the power to help people overcome grief and fight loneliness by reuniting people with their departed loved ones… or it can prolong the mourning process altogether.
A South Korean TV documentary called ‘I Met You’ did just that. The show, by Korean broadcast company MBC, helped reunite 51-year-old Kim Jung-soo with his wife 4 years after she passed away and it is heartbreaking to watch.
The amount of work that goes into these projects is immense. According to MBC, it took 6 months to prepare everything to make the couple’s reunion as realistic as possible. Have a glimpse at the emotional reunion below, dear Readers. Bored Panda has written about this documentary series before. You can find our post about a grieving mother reuniting with her daughter who she lost in an illness right here. It’s a controversial topic with good arguments for against using VR like this. Be sure to share your thoughts about the topic in the comment section below.
Catherine Gallacher from Glasgow, who is a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, explained to Bored Panda that there are a lot of considerations we need to take into account when wondering whether or not VR can help a particular individual deal with the loss of a loved one. However, at the end of the day, we need to fully accept that our loved ones have passed on so we can move on with our lives. Read on for Gallacher’s insights about the grieving process and how VR can fit into this, as well as what the potential dangers of it are.
If you’re in the UK and you’re dealing with the loss of a beloved family member or friend, you can reach out to a BACP bereavement counselor. They can help you understand your complex and painful emotions, as well as integrate the feelings of loss into your life and support you as you adapt to life without your loved one.
A Korean father of 5 reunited with his departed wife in VR. You can see their heartbreaking reunion in the video right here
“What is the purpose of the VR model for that individual? Is it to remember the loved one as they cannot access the memories of what they look like now? If an individual has accepted death this is different to a person wanting to use VR to immerse into an unhealthy experience,” BACP counselor Gallacher pointed out to Bored Panda that VR can play very different roles depending on who uses it to see their departed loved ones.
“Of course the reality is that it’s not real life and when vulnerable the danger of this is being stuck in grief,” she warned. “In today’s world of prolonging and the wish to create the impossible, the reality of grief is that this has a finality we need to accept loss is to be able to fully live our life.
Kim’s biggest wish was to see his wife one last time, even if just for a moment
Image credits: MBClife
It took half a year to prepare the meeting which involved getting the movements of Kim’s wife just right and mixing her voice with an actress’ to make it realistic
Image credits: MBClife
Image credits: MBClife
Image credits: MBClife
Image credits: MBClife
According to Gallacher, the 5 stages of grief that we’re used to seeing in popular culture are accurate because we experience emotions while mourning as a process. However, everyone is an individual who has unique experiences which means that we all take different amounts of time to go through each stage. What’s more, some people can even revisit these stages.
“We need to go through the 5 stages to resolve grief healthily, otherwise it becomes unresolved grief, and intervention is recommended by a professional. Acceptance is not saying the loss is okay, it’s saying we’re learning to live without that person in our life,” Gallacher said.
We all deal with grief and different losses uniquely. However, this doesn’t mean that we can’t reach out to loved ones who are in the middle of the mourning process and support them. “Simply being available to listen even if the person is then silent, just be there so they don’t feel alone. Give your time, be patient, as grief has no timescale. When someone dies, we will miss this person the rest of our lives, but in time, we accept they are not with us.”
The man’s wife passed away 4 years ago after a long and serious illness
Image credits: MBClife
Image credits: MBClife
The reunion was very emotional. The couple waltzed together and the husband thanked his wife for loving him
Image credits: MBClife
Image credits: MBClife
Image credits: MBClife
Kim’s children couldn’t hold back their tears when they saw their dad interacting with their departed mom
Image credits: MBClife
Image credits: MBClife
Image credits: MBClife
Kim’s wife passed away after years of fighting a severe illness and left him to take care of their 5 children. The loving husband’s biggest wish was to see his wife again, “even just a shadow, one more time.”
The reunion, however, nearly didn’t happen because some of Kim’s children were against the idea of using VR to recreate their mother’s likeness: her death was too painful for them to bear and they wanted their father to move on with his life. Eventually, they relented.
“He would kiss her from time to time when working, when eating, or when watching TV. Even when my mother was sick and lost her hair, my father would say that she was pretty and carried her around,” Kim’s daughter Jong-yun said about the loving relationship between her parents.
Kim asked his wife if she wasn’t in pain anymore when he met her likeness in VR. When they heard this, his children, who were watching everything, teared up.
The YouTube video highlighting the most emotional parts of Kim’s story got over a million views and, in truth, it’s heartbreaking to watch for anyone who’s ever lost a loved one.
The story (and the entire documentary series) is very powerful and extremely dedicated to recreating people’s departed loved ones as accurately as possible. MBC had to recreate Kim’s wife’s movements and they also combined her voice with an actor’s to make her sound lifelike.
Dear Pandas, let us know if you teared up just like us and if you’d consider using technology to see and hear your loved ones again.
People had very strong opinions about using VR like this: some thought it was beautiful while others thought it prevented people from moving on
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I miss my wife but this would screw with my head. Doesn't sound appealing or wise
This is not new and various professionals have advised against this because it prolongs the mourning process. Every time the VR session ends, the loved one dies again and for some people it hurts as much as when they died the first time. It's immoral to monetize death and grief, but the entertainment industry has lost any sense of respect or dignity a long time ago.
I could not watch this. While I must not judge whether this is a good idea for grieving (I am almost certain that psychologists would strongly advise against it, though), it is undoubtedly wrong to film this for others to watch. Some moments are special particularly since no one is witnessing them.
Honestly I might get a lot of hate but I feel like I would like this. He's the one that wanted to see her, and i know you guys keep saying "Leave the dead alone" It might help the man let go. It might me something they do over there but if you are going to b!tc^ about in the comments then you can but you wont change my mind. I'm out
Them fkers attacked my eyeballs with water sticks
Load More Replies... I don’t know. I would do anything to see my grandfather again, even for three seconds to tell him I’m sorry. But I don’t think I could ever have enough time. We have to learn to always feel a little bit guilty, and a little sad.
This is not ok. Everytime we think of an event, we alter our memories just a bit. This is making memories that aren't of her, but of some bad vr creation. So they are solely the father's and children's memories of something that has nothing to do with the mother. I understand grieving is hard, but a big part of it is adopting your memories of the deceased as part of who you are as a person and to add new experiences to it. Adding new fake ones just meddles with that process.
Wow I’m crying...my grandpa passed away two years ago and I would give anything to be able to do something like this. People can have their own opinions but when you’ve lost someone sometimes they just want to see them one last time.
Like many things, this is an individual choice. Regardless of whether people are for this or against it, if it's right for the person seeking it and it doesn't take away from anyone else, then it should be allowed.
People, this was his choice. We have to respect it, he just wanted to see her one more time wouldn't you want to see your pet one more time after they died? There's no difference in this. He's an adult. he got to make the choice. Don't choose for him whether or not he got to do this
Did you seriously say there's no difference in wanting to see a departed pet vs actually trying to recreate the feeling of being around a dead lover? It's normal to want to see deceased loved ones again, but acting on these desires is extremely unhealthy. You need to process the loss so you can move on & live a fulfilling life without being weighed down by grief. When people say others cope with loss differently, they mean talking openly vs distracting themselves with a hobby. They don't mean indulging in obsessive & counterproductive behavior such as this.
Load More Replies...
I can see this going either way, therapy-wise. Personally, im not one who would/could use this. Im the type of person who doesnt visit gravestones, etc. It doesnt help me or make me feel better, personally. But I understand not everyone is me or like me. I also know many people who lost loved ones in terrible ways or during arguments, etc who cant let go because of the situation in which they lost them. If someone can be helped to move on by having a chance to say "i love you" or "im sorry" in "person" than i say go for it if you think it will help & you can handle it.
This poor family. Grieving is about accepting the loss & letting go, not clinging to digital ghosts. All he's doing is putting himself in more pain by prolonging the grieving process as much as possible. This is like the show Upload, which is about a digital afterlife, but even less ethical since it isn't even a real person in the VR. I can only imagine the despair the kids felt after realizing the simulation was over. Let the dead rest in peace & let the living grieve in peace.
Everyone grieves differently and everyone has their own of finalizing their final stage of grief. Now this husband, maybe needed to do this to forever move on and accept his wife being gone. We can't say if this is right or wrong... I personally wouldn't do this cause it would make it worse for me. Now for someone else, it may be different and a closing part of their grief. Either way, don't judge if this is right or wrong for the poor guy.
I am glad they're not letting the kids use the VR. Children that young need to learn to process grief on their own, without the confusion of "seeing" their mom again.
I'm destroyed right now seeing someone else pain in this way making my own unbearable loss so new opening wounds that will take , seemingly, another lifetime to heal from, but you have fortune tellers and snake oil salesmen profiting off grief constantly, making shows of some assbag picking wounds of audience members that ar all their seeking affirmation of some kind. It's psychological stunting for money. I'm going to smoke weed now and try to stop crying
I can see most points of view. All I can say is: I don't see how anyone's emotions were messed with. They knew what was going on. It also seems in this gentleman's case, he cou7be reassured his wife was no longer in pain.
I would give damn near anything for one last visit with my mom. For her to see her 2 new grandbabies, who coincidently look just like my sister and I (and in the same order too). But it would have to BE her, not just a VR version. It would hurt too much to see her and and have an actress pretend to be her without feeling her.
I can only speak for myself but it would simply unnecessarily mess with my head. It takes long to get over your loss and this would just reignite my feelings.
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I like the idea , but I don't think I would be able to see my daughter again it's been 2yrs she was 16
I think this could help to keep some people alive. I have one daughter. That is all and all it needs to be. If soething happened to her, if she was to die, I would kill myself. Without a doubt... within two days, I would die too. I couldn't handle the pain. I couldn't live live without her. Perhaps this could help people gradually move on? I'm crying so hard... perhaps this COULD help with the grief process... to know that they are still with you... wanting you to live. I see a positive in this. I understand the negatives but death is better than living when you are in so much pain. I can see a use for this.
This is similar to a technique used in therapy when you can't confront the person who hurt you . You write a letter to them saying everything you want to say. Then you burn it , or throw it away, or put it in a bottle and set it out to sea. You know logically that the person isn't going to see it , but you need to be able to move on. This works more often than not . With this vr , he knew it wasn't really his wife. It seemed enough like her though for him to be able to be with her and then let go.
Maybe an unpopular opinion but I would love to talk to my dad one last time, he died so suddenly, there was no time to say good bye to him.
I've never heard anyone say it's unhealthy to look through old photos of departed loved ones. When photography was a brand new technology, I wonder if people said it's eerie and weird? Personally, I wouldn't want to interact with a VR recreation like this, and wouldn't find it helpful. But who are we to judge him? The technology is available, even if clunky. He gets to decide whether to use it. I do find the commercial aspect of it distasteful.
Old photographs of departed loved ones is looking back on them how they were, not trying to recreate them entirely.
Load More Replies... This is just another Mirror of Erised. Heartache cannot be healed by an illusion, although I can understand the despair making this man hope for even the smallest glimpse of the happiness he lost. May she rest in peace.
There’s no one and right way to grieve. The VR vision isn’t really his wife, but these memories (and kids) are all that’s left of her. She was suffering for years and that physical deterioration was the last memories they had of her. Even though it’s painful to lose her again...the kids are older and able to give support to one another and their father, if they choose.
I miss my wife but this would screw with my head. Doesn't sound appealing or wise
This is not new and various professionals have advised against this because it prolongs the mourning process. Every time the VR session ends, the loved one dies again and for some people it hurts as much as when they died the first time. It's immoral to monetize death and grief, but the entertainment industry has lost any sense of respect or dignity a long time ago.
I could not watch this. While I must not judge whether this is a good idea for grieving (I am almost certain that psychologists would strongly advise against it, though), it is undoubtedly wrong to film this for others to watch. Some moments are special particularly since no one is witnessing them.
Honestly I might get a lot of hate but I feel like I would like this. He's the one that wanted to see her, and i know you guys keep saying "Leave the dead alone" It might help the man let go. It might me something they do over there but if you are going to b!tc^ about in the comments then you can but you wont change my mind. I'm out
Them fkers attacked my eyeballs with water sticks
Load More Replies... I don’t know. I would do anything to see my grandfather again, even for three seconds to tell him I’m sorry. But I don’t think I could ever have enough time. We have to learn to always feel a little bit guilty, and a little sad.
This is not ok. Everytime we think of an event, we alter our memories just a bit. This is making memories that aren't of her, but of some bad vr creation. So they are solely the father's and children's memories of something that has nothing to do with the mother. I understand grieving is hard, but a big part of it is adopting your memories of the deceased as part of who you are as a person and to add new experiences to it. Adding new fake ones just meddles with that process.
Wow I’m crying...my grandpa passed away two years ago and I would give anything to be able to do something like this. People can have their own opinions but when you’ve lost someone sometimes they just want to see them one last time.
Like many things, this is an individual choice. Regardless of whether people are for this or against it, if it's right for the person seeking it and it doesn't take away from anyone else, then it should be allowed.
People, this was his choice. We have to respect it, he just wanted to see her one more time wouldn't you want to see your pet one more time after they died? There's no difference in this. He's an adult. he got to make the choice. Don't choose for him whether or not he got to do this
Did you seriously say there's no difference in wanting to see a departed pet vs actually trying to recreate the feeling of being around a dead lover? It's normal to want to see deceased loved ones again, but acting on these desires is extremely unhealthy. You need to process the loss so you can move on & live a fulfilling life without being weighed down by grief. When people say others cope with loss differently, they mean talking openly vs distracting themselves with a hobby. They don't mean indulging in obsessive & counterproductive behavior such as this.
Load More Replies... I can see this going either way, therapy-wise. Personally, im not one who would/could use this. Im the type of person who doesnt visit gravestones, etc. It doesnt help me or make me feel better, personally. But I understand not everyone is me or like me. I also know many people who lost loved ones in terrible ways or during arguments, etc who cant let go because of the situation in which they lost them. If someone can be helped to move on by having a chance to say "i love you" or "im sorry" in "person" than i say go for it if you think it will help & you can handle it.
This poor family. Grieving is about accepting the loss & letting go, not clinging to digital ghosts. All he's doing is putting himself in more pain by prolonging the grieving process as much as possible. This is like the show Upload, which is about a digital afterlife, but even less ethical since it isn't even a real person in the VR. I can only imagine the despair the kids felt after realizing the simulation was over. Let the dead rest in peace & let the living grieve in peace.
Everyone grieves differently and everyone has their own of finalizing their final stage of grief. Now this husband, maybe needed to do this to forever move on and accept his wife being gone. We can't say if this is right or wrong... I personally wouldn't do this cause it would make it worse for me. Now for someone else, it may be different and a closing part of their grief. Either way, don't judge if this is right or wrong for the poor guy.
I am glad they're not letting the kids use the VR. Children that young need to learn to process grief on their own, without the confusion of "seeing" their mom again.
I'm destroyed right now seeing someone else pain in this way making my own unbearable loss so new opening wounds that will take , seemingly, another lifetime to heal from, but you have fortune tellers and snake oil salesmen profiting off grief constantly, making shows of some assbag picking wounds of audience members that ar all their seeking affirmation of some kind. It's psychological stunting for money. I'm going to smoke weed now and try to stop crying
I can see most points of view. All I can say is: I don't see how anyone's emotions were messed with. They knew what was going on. It also seems in this gentleman's case, he cou7be reassured his wife was no longer in pain.
I would give damn near anything for one last visit with my mom. For her to see her 2 new grandbabies, who coincidently look just like my sister and I (and in the same order too). But it would have to BE her, not just a VR version. It would hurt too much to see her and and have an actress pretend to be her without feeling her.
I can only speak for myself but it would simply unnecessarily mess with my head. It takes long to get over your loss and this would just reignite my feelings.
Have you looked everywhere for help and couldn't get any help to get your ex back? Search no more for I got my ex back 3 days ago with the help of Lord Zakuza love spell within 48 hours and you can visit his website if you need his help via lordzakuzaspells.com
I like the idea , but I don't think I would be able to see my daughter again it's been 2yrs she was 16
I think this could help to keep some people alive. I have one daughter. That is all and all it needs to be. If soething happened to her, if she was to die, I would kill myself. Without a doubt... within two days, I would die too. I couldn't handle the pain. I couldn't live live without her. Perhaps this could help people gradually move on? I'm crying so hard... perhaps this COULD help with the grief process... to know that they are still with you... wanting you to live. I see a positive in this. I understand the negatives but death is better than living when you are in so much pain. I can see a use for this.
This is similar to a technique used in therapy when you can't confront the person who hurt you . You write a letter to them saying everything you want to say. Then you burn it , or throw it away, or put it in a bottle and set it out to sea. You know logically that the person isn't going to see it , but you need to be able to move on. This works more often than not . With this vr , he knew it wasn't really his wife. It seemed enough like her though for him to be able to be with her and then let go.
Maybe an unpopular opinion but I would love to talk to my dad one last time, he died so suddenly, there was no time to say good bye to him.
I've never heard anyone say it's unhealthy to look through old photos of departed loved ones. When photography was a brand new technology, I wonder if people said it's eerie and weird? Personally, I wouldn't want to interact with a VR recreation like this, and wouldn't find it helpful. But who are we to judge him? The technology is available, even if clunky. He gets to decide whether to use it. I do find the commercial aspect of it distasteful.
Old photographs of departed loved ones is looking back on them how they were, not trying to recreate them entirely.
Load More Replies... This is just another Mirror of Erised. Heartache cannot be healed by an illusion, although I can understand the despair making this man hope for even the smallest glimpse of the happiness he lost. May she rest in peace.
There’s no one and right way to grieve. The VR vision isn’t really his wife, but these memories (and kids) are all that’s left of her. She was suffering for years and that physical deterioration was the last memories they had of her. Even though it’s painful to lose her again...the kids are older and able to give support to one another and their father, if they choose.
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