
Guy Shares His Reasoning Behind Refusing To Give A Pregnant Lady His Bus Seat, People Are Not Convinced
There are some things that most of us do without thinking because they seem like common sense. If you see someone struggling to carry their groceries or having a hard time crossing a busy street, you help them out. Someone falls down? You give them a helping hand and get them back on their feet.
So it only seems natural that when you see a pregnant woman on public transportation that you get up and offer her your seat. It’s the polite thing to do after all. Especially if she asks. Unfortunately, it seems like proper manners weren’t drilled into everyone.
One man took to the r/AITA subreddit to find out whether or not he was a jerk for refusing to give his seat to a “heavily pregnant lady” because he was exhausted from work. He didn’t get up even when she directly asked to have his seat. Check out the full story below.
A redditor shocked the internet with their story about why they refused to give up their bus seat to a pregnant woman
Image credits: Sharkshock (not the actual photo)
Image credits: myfeetf**kinghurt
The Reddit community was almost unanimous: this guy was a huge jerk and he was clearly in the wrong. I mean, there’s no real way around it, the guy was so wrong, it actually hurt our inner moral compasses a bit. And as a guy with three siblings, I’m appalled.
But as much fun as it is to judge someone, don’t forget that being exhausted day-in and day-out shifts our judgment. What seems immoral to someone who’s well-rested might seem like no big deal for someone else who’s so tired, they can’t think straight. It’s not an excuse to act like a big [whoops, can’t use those words here] to other members of your local community, however.
Being tired is no excuse to let your morals go
“I was tired and had a long day, and I don’t know why we need to keep perpetuating the idea that breeding somehow means your entitled to people’s seats. I’m tired, too, we’re all tired in this pandemic,” the redditor wrote in their story, showing his contempt for people who choose to have families.
What’s more, the redditor suggested that everyone’s exhausted during the pandemic and everyone deserves a break. True, but that’s what separates good people from the rest: the former go the extra mile to help others in need, the latter are content to be bystanders.
You might not get a gold medal, a standing ovation from the public, or a superhero’s cape for lending someone a hand, but you’ll be an actual everyday hero.
The situation was perfect for the redditor to help a person in need, as well as learn a lesson about how they can do the right thing even after a 10-hour shift at work on their feet. But they wasted the opportunity to prove that they’re better than they thought they were. Nobody’s forced to give up their seat for a pregnant woman, but it’s a sign that something’s probably off with your values if you choose not to.
So instead of leaving a good impression for everyone on the bus, the redditor drew their ire. What’s more, they got a good talking-to from their family members once they got back home.
Giving up your seat isn’t just about being ‘nice’
There are plenty of reasons to give up your seat to a pregnant woman besides being an upright member of society who thinks about more than just themselves, however. The Alpha Parent writes that pregnant women can experience back pain, especially as they’re getting closer to delivery. The pain can reach the legs, so having a place to sit down is a godsend.
What’s more, standing still for longer periods of time (like during a ride on public transportation) can be dangerous. “When standing, a pregnant woman’s heart rate increases, cardiac output decreases, and blood pressure falls. When the woman then takes a sitting position, her heart rate, cardiac output, and blood pressure returned to normal.”
Furthermore, nausea, fatigue, weak joints, and the need to urinate frequently (an urge that increases while standing because gravity pulls the baby into the mother’s bladder) are all reasons why grabbing a seat on the bus is vital. And, in our humble opinions, these reasons trump someone’s physical exhaustion from 10-hour shifts.
It’s rare to see the internet so united. Like you could’ve expected, people were roiling with anger
What do you think of the situation, dear Pandas? Do you think that the redditor was definitely in the wrong like most internet users did or would you give him a pass because he was tired from work? When’s the last time you gave up your seat to someone in need or helped a complete stranger? Let us know in the comments below.
I think it's unfair to single this guy out as the asshole when any person could have offered their seat. Why does it fall on the guys to be chivalrous in this kind of situation. You can't tell me that there wasn't one single non-pregnant woman that could have offered her seat too? And I understand about how much pain he was in..I've been there too where your feet hurt so bad that they start cramping up on you. Is he an a-hole...for bringing up how the pregnancy is not his fault...yeah. For not giving up his seat...I'm inclined to say he wasn't the only one on that bus.
He was the closest to the door, apparently. He clearly said "but he can deal". He was tired, not disabled or injured or AT RISK OF FALLING.
@Theo...what could have happened had this healthy, tired guy fell on his stomach? It may have hurt, he may have been embarrassed...but what if SHE fell on her stomach? Her life could have been completely upended b/c she could have lost her CHILD. A pregnant woman's center of balance is VERY compromised when heavily pregnant...so YES she was at "risk of falling"...and the consequences of her doing so would have most likely been MUCH more devastating than if he fell. This is such a no-brainer.
Aether II, women are not the same as dogs. We even have different doctors. Imagine that! Perhaps do a little research into the effects of pregnancy on a woman before posting such an ignorant comment. They definitely trump the sore feet of that lad.
@Brandy Grote if you re-read the article you will see he wasn't nearest the door, he was nearest to her when she asked. Also, if you read his replies to comments it says she didn't ask the women on the bus and appeared to zero in on him to ask. This article has made me lose massive faith in Bored Panda because it presents such a one sided view, it doesn't present his replies to the comments which answer some questions. Don't get me wrong though, he's still an a-hole for not giving up his seat. I don't care how tired I am, if there is someone who has more need of a seat than me then I will gladly vacate it for them.
If he stood up then he would be at risk of falling, especially if he's feet were extremely painful. It would have been nice if he--or another rider--had offered his seat, but it's not a sin to look out for yourself sometimes. He was rude, but so was she for making demands and then playing the victim when she didn't get what she asked for.
Tired*
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Well. It´s the job of the busdriver to drive carefully. Not the fault of the guy, who wouldn´t want to give his seat. And also it makes NO (no!!!) difference at all, if he is the closest to the door or not. You really dont get it.
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@Aether || dogs are pregnant for 2 weeks and have smaller babies.
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I don't think you know how tires you get after standing for so long, and how sore your feet actually get. You see, once you sit down, and you try to stand again, you can't. You just collapse, pregnant women can physically stand up, also, she could've asked LITERALLY ANYONE else. And yes, i think he's right, abortions are free and it's HER choice to be a single mom. If she can't afford a car, it's not a good idea to raise a child because its expensive. And i know not everyone is willing to give their child up, or sees abortion as an option, but still, if you can't you shouldn't.
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Neither was she. Just pregnant.
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She was literally just pregnant. Dogs run around still when they are pregnant. Doesn’t make an excuse for a softie like her to have a seat.
I kinda was iffy until he mentioned "her life choices". His " life choices" (where he lives, his job) got him where he is at that moment in life. (Was the wreck because of a choice he made?) We could go those routes all day. But the point is, right there right then someone should have had compassion and given her a seat. I've been pregnant 4x. Pregnancy is miserable, but worth it. Now I have back problems and stuff but would jump up in a heartbeat to anyone that needs a seat more than me. Pregnant woman, elderly person...anyone. I don't care if I worked on my feet 12 hours (which I did when I was in my 20's). And because of his"life choice" of not getting up, a pregnant woman fell and an elderly man fell. Hope he is proud of himself. (and every other able bodied person that didn't get up.) Edit: he wants to blame breeding? So is it his moms fault for having him?
I agree, all three of my pregnancies I worked in my feet all day and used public transport to get there and back. A low point came when a someone further along in pregnancy came on the bus and I was the person who stood up to offer a seat only at that point did someone else offer their seat
While you are right, he decided to take it to the internet rather than accepting his family‘s opinion on the matter. Not to mention writing things like the woman should have had an abortion of she can’t afford a car. Everyone should have offered her a seat, absolutely, but he went above and beyond to be an asshole.
Re read it, he didn't say she should have an abortion because she couldn't afford a car...
TZTZTZTZTZ,the way some ppl CHOSE to missinterpret words just to make others look bad! Disgusting!
Also a very good point. If this happened, he would definitely be an asshole for even questioning if he did the right thing in this situation.
I see your point on him not being the only one on the bus. Singling him out like that sounds strange, that's why I believe this story is made up. But then again, I'm only speaking of my experience, I've yet to meet a bussfull of complete dickheads who deny a pregnant woman a seat.
I believe it could be true. End of the day, probably a lot of tired people on the bus just wanting to get home. People can be quite nasty or just removed from a situation in those circumstances. I’ve had many people single me out for my seat so they can sit next to their friend or family despite many single seats being available. Some people are very vocal when there is a particular seat they want. For the woman I’d guess she just went after the first person she saw and his attitude escalated it so rather than going to the next person she continued the fight until the kind gentleman intervened. Don’t underestimate the kindness or rudeness of people.
I have and many of my friends who have been pregnant have been in situations where no one would offer them a seat. In one case the bus driver scolded the whole bus, because not only did no one offer a seat, but the people standing were also pushing my pregnant friend and she could have fallen over.
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I think it wasn't polite to not offer her the seat. I'd say YTA for the abortion comment. That set it off the edge I'd say.
I mean, in most public transits, you are supposed to give up your seat for the elderly, the pregnant, and the disabled. But if it’s just where I live, isn’t that just how it works? I mean, they could get severely hurt when they fell. And not offering a seat was a little rude, but he denied her one when she asked. But yeah, why did he have to bring up ‘abortion is free’ and that thing about ‘breeding’.
@Hello I also think she could have asked someone else after he declined because she didn't know his foot was in pain. Some people have hidden disabilities and she probably could have asked someone else. The breeding part though was weird.
You know what he should do instead of rant about abortions and sh*t? Get up and sit somewhere else. Problem solved. And if there was no seat available, at the moment, then I bet next stop it would be.
He didn’t rant, he just mentioned it once she started complaining to him that she was a single mother with no car most likely.
The pregnant woman could have also waited until the next stop to sit down. Or someone else could have switched seats with her.
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and obviously this dude was in the younger catagory... living at home where your sister goes and tells your Mom??? pfffft... he sounds like a spoiled f*****g child. I also work 10 hour shifts- i literally walk between 8-10 miles a day... and I would never be so f*****g ridiculous. Its called morals doosh bag.
Why shouldn't the pregnant woman also follow morals? Why doesn't she have to care about people more tired than her?
Since when did you get the authority to impose your moral beliefs on others?
We’re not singling this person out. They happened to be chewed out by their family and went online to find people to back them or absolve them of the “asshole” label.
He's the one that was asked. Had any other able bodied person been asked and refused for the same atrocious reasons, then they would be the asshole.
Then isn't it the pregnant woman's fault for not asking more people?
Although I semi agree @CarolEmory I will say this, he IS the asshole because he totes on and on about BC and abortions and how it was HER choice to get pregnant blah blah blah, but it was also HIS choice to work that shitty job that he's on his feet all day. HIS choice to buy shitty shoes. Had I been there he would've gotten an earful from me too and the lady would've had a seat. I've been there. Maybe she WAS in a relationship and dude split recently? and I've said it once I'll say it again, abortion is not f*****g birth control. He's a douche.
The best shoes in the world aren't going to make standing all day completely pain free.
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Thank you, you are taking the words out of my mouth
Does it say anywhere they're a guy? It could have been a woman writing the post.
People tend to be more judgmental toward men who don't give up their seats than they are toward women who don't.
He asked. AITA. The answer is yes.
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Irrelevant information. She asked him for his seat, and he said no. And that makes him a colossal asshole.
She could have asked other people. It's wrong to suggest that you only have to get up for a pregnant woman if you are asked personally.
Yeah, well, he was close and it's his reasoning that makes him an asshole.
He snapped back when asked politely because of his spot. We don't know about other problems or conditions others might have had, we just know this guy was being crabby and unwilling to be a decent person which is why he stood out as the biggest asshole. And he judged her for being a single mom, when it might not have been her fault. She may have planned that baby with a partner but they died, or left because they’re also an asshole. Or maybe she’s a lesbian and had a sperm donor, but she was the only fertile partner. There’s always a story behind what people say, so listen, and maybe don’t be a jerk about it next time.
You don't know if he was asked politely or if he snapped back. I agree that he was being a d**k regardless, but your conjecture is also pretty weak.
I'm sorry, I should have proofread for possible words that don't belong in my reasoning. No, he didn't snap, he was polite, although it doesn't make him any less of a jerk. My point was, others may have been in the wrong as well, but since we only know one side of the story it emphasizes his wrong-doing in this scenario.
I’m betting this guy would refuse to get out of the way of an ambulance as well.
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Carol, no one is trying to put the responsibility squarely on men's shoulders. The pregnant woman asked him if she could have his seat and he became a total jerk about. He told this woman that abortions are free and talked about how her being pregnant wasn't his problem.
He never said that to the woman. He was just justifying his decision later.
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It is simple, the young now have no honour and are weak individuals.
Really? You're using one person as an example of more than a billion people? That's stupid!
Ok so I am on the fence with this so please just hear me out first. While myself personally I would have given up my seat for a pregnant woman as well as a elderly person and someone who is handicapped. I do understand this Mans thought as well. I work on my feet and have a physical job of lifting heavy car and truck parts and am at work 13hrs a day. I am fried and my feet and back kill. There were others on the bus who could have moved as well. Again, I would have moved regardless but don't pin it all on this Guy.
I wouldn't even ask him to stand up for me, nor blame him. Totally understandable. I stood a lot while pregnant. But the way he judges her to excuse himself is very annoying.
What got me was the "birth control and abortions are free" comment. I am pro-choice, but just because she chose not to kill her baby is not an excuse for him to not be a decent human.
I don’t think he’s actually judging her. I think he’s explaining why it doesn’t make sense for her to put all of her self imposed problems on a stranger.
Agree totally. That was a pretty personal rant and I'd hope someone would stand for you without asking, I've never been pregnant but I've worked 16 hr days on my feet and would still have stood for a heavily pregnant woman. I know in an hour I can have a hot bath and put up my feet, she maybe can't and she's been pregnant and likely uncomfortable with crap sleep for months, her little bit of comfort for a few moments trumps mine easily and an elderly person is also a no brainer for me, they've likely spent decades working and my body can easily handle a few minutes of standing on painful feet for them any day.
He could have begin with "please could you ask someone else?" maybe?
OR she could've asked someone else when he declined, but she opted for the drama
He said “no, my feet hurt.” If you can’t get “ask someone else” from that, you’re wayyy too fûcking stupid to be in charge of another human life.
I completely agree. I would have definitely moved but others could have moved too. Yes he was being selfish and yes he was being a jerk, but people are allowed to say no and well, they take the consequences of saying no as well.
Except there shouldn't be consequences for saying no unless he was seating on a priority seat.
Just his needing to justify himself to her and be callus when she cried, gives me the reason to call it 'AITA'. He wasn't alone on the bus nor was the elderly gentleman the only ones to step up and being decent human beings. Just that he minimizes her sitution, when he ,himself could be called on the same things. He lives at home and didn't have savings to tide him over til the insurance comes thru? He brings the shame to himself on so many levels.
Agree and would have done the same and though I don't appreciate his rant in this situation, I'd have liked to rant a few times about choosing to have children to my coworkers, stop expecting me to change my schedule on a moments notice because of your kids. You do not deserve a better start time the day you start because you have kids, those are for people who spent years earning them, your babysitters illness should not mean that I have to cancel helping my grandparents, and if your kid makes you perpetually 20 minutes late, get up 20 minutes earlier. I'd be happy to accommodate the occasional unexpected child related change someone needed but every day I get a flood of requests to change because I'm the only woman who doesn't yet have children. I know it seems selfish to say no, I go for a bike ride every day after work and don't feel safe doing it after dark because the trails are not well lit and my bike light isn't enough, but that hour keeps me healthy, mentally & physically.
This is a great debate topic I can use with my students. I'm a teacher in Japan and I teach jr high and high school students English debate. In Japan we have designated seats for the elderly, disabled and pregnant. Those seats are rarely occupied by others unless the train car is relatively empty and such folks aren't needing them. There isn't a culture of men giving up something for women here, but a huge reverence for the elderly. I found myself conflicted after reading this; I wasn't ready to pounce on the tired dude after his shift, though the way he described the pregnant woman was callous and undermined his argument. In any case, this would be an interesting case study to bring to my students. A learning experience is better than trading barbs online.
In the US we have those seats too, and the fact that she was asking this one dude to get up instead of anyone else suggests that he was sitting there.
We only have handicapped seats where I live.
She only asked him because he happened to be closest to her. She could have asked anyone.
Maybe
Nothing suggests that
We have the same seats plus pregnancy only seats in Korea. Younger people are afraid to sit in the elderly section, old people get violent. While I was pregnant, watching people STARING at my large belly while sitting in the pregnancy only seat was very common. I was afraid to ask people over 50yo to give up the seat because it isn't uncommon for them to snap. Plus being publicly drunk is perfectly acceptable. I only asked younger people to move if I felt like I actually needed to sit down. People were WAY more considerate on the bus. The average Korean person is super nice, but the assholes always stand out
See, they have seats for people who need it more, like pregnant people. Every bus should have that because apparently we can't count on others to be decent, compassionate people.
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It’s interesting you mention Japan and its culture. It is perhaps a correlation that in a country that focuses more on old people that birth rates are so low and population is in decline. Whereas countries like Israel that have a baby obsessed culture have high birth rates. In the long run, not much will be left of a culture where there are few children...
I'm with the guy on this... I might not agree with the wording of other things, This should have ended with the No and either she try someone else or stand. Sure it would have been nice for this guy to stand up, but she isn't entitled to the seat unless it's a marked priority seat.
True. I’ve been pregnant and had a really tough one and was miserable all the time especially when I had to walk or stand. I never felt right asking someone for their seat I didn’t want anyone to feel obligated to say yes. It was really nice if someone willingly got up and offered me their seat though.
If he has to stand and loses his balance, he gets a few bruises. If she has to stand and loses his balance, her baby or her could be seriously hurt. She has a temporary medical condition. If you saw someone with crutches, wouldn't you give them the seat? This is just basic human decency.
Maybe it's the African in me, I've seen heavily pregnant women balance a 25 litre bucket of water on their head and walk a couple of kilometres through uneven paths. I honestly think standing up for a couple of minutes is nothing.
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Ohhh,but she start crying and begging and giving personal info(????) about beeing a single mom!! thats just odd to me. If he was sitting in a spot reserved for pregnant,i doubt she wouldv find necesary to beg and cry..or?
It's not HER fault you decided to have a job where you have to stand for 10 hours and ALSO don't have the money to buy a new car straight after your old one.
So if no one is at fault it's first come first serve.
I would agree, with the one exception that a pregnant woman is actually two people, one being more vulnerable than the others. Simultaneously pain and exhaustion are hard to measure but risk to one human becomes two in being pregnant as well as more dangerous than simple pain and tiredness.
Unless it was a priority seat, then he's at fault. He doesn't clarify that. And he was still the asshole for how he decided to phrase his "argument"
One does not flow from the other. It is still the right thing to do to give the seat to someone who needs it more. You have a pregnant person, an old person, and a young but tired person. The young but tired person isn’t the one who should get the seat.
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Nobody needs to be "at fault" for him still to be the asshole.
It isn't his fault either. A whole bus full of people and you are telling non of them could give a seat to the woman but the obe who was exhausted from work.
Maybe it's the African in me, I've seen heavily pregnant women balance a 25 litre bucket of water on their head and walk a couple of kilometres through uneven paths. I honestly think standing up for a couple of minutes is nothing.
In Africa there are much higher mortality rates for both mothers and babies though.
Right. We established all of that. You’re being dumb AF for not connecting the rest of the dots. It’s not her fault he’s broke, it’s not his fault she’s broke. Now with all things equal and him finding his seat and her showing up later, there’s no reason for her to demand anything from anyone else. Dumbass.
She should have f****d a guy with a car then. I'm not giving up my seat after 12 hours of physical labour just because you were creampied.
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You are totally off base with this comment. I suppose you would have words for him regardless of the situation.
Correct. And he wasn't asking for her seat.
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It is not HIS problem that she didn't use a condom...
Wished your parents used one.
oml, rape? religious restriction? Maybe she wanted the kid, but her partner didn't?
They're both right but the way they handled the situation is wrong imo
Agreed. She can ask. And he can say no. Both are fine. But yelling at someone for not giving up their seat is not OK.
He is not alone you know. Just unlucky for him sit next to her. I bet plenty of seats on the bus, just everybody just want to make him a scapegoat.
I agree. Every able bodied person around her is the AH. At least ONE of them should have let her have the seat. I bet those same people that do not care if she falls and loses the baby are pro life people that say no to women's choice of having an abortion, but could care less about them once they are born.
There may not have been plenty of seats because he did say there was social distancing.
Why do people like this always talk like women magically get pregnant all by themselves. "It was HER choice to get pregnant". When I was pregnant it was with my long term partner of many years. All through my pregnancy I was preparing to be the stable nuclear family. Two months after I gave birth, he left me for the mistress I didn't know he had. I didn't CHOOSE to become a single mother. I didn't CHOOSE to be solely responsible for my child both emotionally and financially. I didn't CHOOSE any of that, but you know what, I dealt with it and raised a gorgeous, wonderful boy. We need to have some compassion for one another as a society. Otherwise, what are we doing?
Laura, stop being a dumb liar. We women have had to fight for our right to choose. Barry is right, you think everything is about you. Like every other Becky / Karen. Super self centered and zero self awareness, talking about your weird little life and then demanding society give you more. Ew ew ew. You’re the kind of woman who has the right to choose and yet isn’t worthy of it. Just ready to throw all your power back into the hands of a man because you’re too feeble minded to control your own body. Gross, and you have kids. Vom. 🤢
Bitch, shut the actual f**k up.
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Wow! Self-centered comment. You used *I* eight times. It's annoying AF when people post a comment and turn it into 'all about me'. I, this, I that, I, I I! Get over yourself
YTA for the line about not being able too afford a car. Maybe she's using public transit as a green alternative.
Or maybe her car met the same fate as his...
Exactly! Everyone is in this moment, good or bad, because of life choices. He can't say he isn't giving up his seat because of her life choices.
Explain then. You’re upset but you haven’t sounded out why. Once you do, you’ll see why it doesn’t follow.
The idea that her getting an abortion is the simpler solution to you giving up your seat for 10 minutes just shows how self centered this person is. I get it, he is tired, and it is rude of this woman to presume, but when you refuse to give up a seat to someone who needs it more, expect scorn.
Who decides she needs it more? Why? Because she is pregnant? Or because she is a woman? Unless it is a priority seat, she had no right to that seat. True, it would be nice, but it's not compulsory, and the fact that she's quick to use her "single mother" status to gain an advantage is disgusting.
Intentionally obtuse. That wasn’t his argument and you can pick if you’re either not smart enough to understand the point or intentionally ignoring it. Which one?
It's the "breeding" for me. Could be a troll simply because of the fact that he's sharing it online, but as a pregnant woman I've seen people act that way ( it didn't bother me the least tbh)
I call it breeding too. Humans are animals as any other, no superior at all. Oftentimes worse than earthworm. And yes, humans breed. If you are expecting and wanting the baby - you may want to call it otherways, but in biological terms and factual notes - breeding is correct form. Same as foetus, not a baby. And pregnant woman not mother.
Many people feel safe to put stupid stuff out there. To me it doesn't really matter if it's real or not. If trolling is your thing, this story might as well be real.
Having to work and stand on your feet 10 hours a day and using public transport complemented with a nice brisk 20 minute walk is a choice too. According to American standards. Dude needs to realize her life is just as sucky as his and both are just living by the rules of society. He is the only one with an actual choice at that specific point in time and that's to be an asswhipe or to be a general nice person. He made clear what he is by even putting that reasoning out there. An egotistical self overrated individual. If the use of his car was really just an insurance payout away, giving up your seat once in public transport wouldn't be a problem. Forker :)
Sure because we all could freely decide which jobs we get.
This is intentionally obtuse. Work is not a choice. Only a passive aggressive child like you would even think that way. An adult knows work isn’t a choice. Pregnancy is, in America anyway.
Pregnancy is not always a choise. The woman could have been raped and not be able to have an abortion. We don't know everything about people and their situations.
But he is not making anyone else make a sacrifice for his choice.
She also made the choice to ask him for the seat. She assumed that she was more tired than him, which may not have been true in that case. Why isn't she being held to the same moral standards people expect of him?
What state is he in where abortions are free? I've never heard of one.
Me either! Maybe he means on a sliding scale? Or does Medicare offer misoprostol or whatever? Planned Parenthood in Maryland and Virginia charge based on income so technically I guess it could be free if you’re unemployed?
Medicare is for those 65 and over. I think you mean Medicaid maybe?
There are a couple of conclusions 1. There were other people to give up their seat, not only him. 2.yes she was pregnant, you are tired and balance is bad, i am pregnant but i also know how it is to be exhausted after a day of work. 3. I dont like the way he presents on the pregnancy and choice, yes it is a choice to keep or not the baby. Her mother most likely had that choice as well, as long as u dont know what pregnancy feels like, try to empathise. 4 she can lose the pregnancy if she falls, if you fall u get a bruise. She falls, she ends up in the hospital.
Ever notice they single out "a guy"...and not any other passanger..how do we know he isnt disabled or has a medical condition. Why isnt reddit karen giving up her seat?
This guy would who gave us great detail about his day and pain and why he was so tired would certainly have told us he had a disability.
True, but I wonder if the pregnant woman focused on him because she assumed that a man would be more likely to give up his seat than a woman would.
Another intentionally obtuse comment, as if you didn’t know Leo was talking about the passengers, not the readers. Fûcking duh.
Forget about any karen. Why didn't the guy just tell her to sit on his lap? Then both of them would have a seat.
She asked. He said no. That should've been the end of the story. This is a free country and she and the old man we're out of line by expecting somebody to do something that they aren't required to do.
I would give my seat to the pregnant lady, I mean I would have already sat for a while, He can hold it, right?
Sorry but not sorry, going to be unpopular but tough. The guy is working hard and has politely explained yet the woman's entitlement is the problem here. It is part her choice. Being pregnant is a condition not an illness. If it was someone genuinely disabled or clearly old and in need then I would offer it and wouldn't even avoid it like this guy (he said he tried not to make eye contact). However, just because you are a single mum to be doesn't give you magic entitlement, morals are not universal nor are so called manors. In my country this woman and child are likely to be given a lot of money by the state that's not including the reduced healthcare and schooling. In other democratic capitalistic societies they wouldn't get the state support she and her child will, all paid for by this hard working man. Nah, sorry let the man rest, that's probably all she's done all day anyway.
i agree with you on this. she literally could have asked someone else
Why ask anyone? Being pregnant is not a disability. I would never have asked anyone to give up their seat when I was pregnant.
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Who said she was a single mom?
Ok anarkzie you are right. Read it twice and I missed it because I was more focused on the guy being a jerk instead of her being single. Maybe she was a widow. And ant, how do we know what the pregnant lady has done all day? Maybe she came from work too?
She did.
There's a lot of problems with this. We live in such a disconnected society. We're in this world together. We're responsible for other humans no matter what their circumstances or ours.
No. Sorry. That's not true. Do you give money or buy food to every homeless person you see? Do you donate money to the nearest soup kitchen? Do you volunteer to visit the lonely elderly in your neighbourhood? No? Then stop being hypocritical and stop that nonsense of "we are responsible for other humans". We are not, and nobody really cares. Including you.
Totally not an arsehole. I genuinely understand.
Totally an asshole.
He is one but mostly because of his whole attitude.
He's clearly a douche, but more upset about some things he's saying in his reasoning than actually not standing up. She could have asked somebody else as well and nobody stood up before she even asked him. And on the devils advocate part, what does feminism say? I know I now sound like a D**k, but we live in a world where people can also get offended when you (try/offer) help them. Are we in this case to assume a pregnant woman does need help?
Any one of the people on the bus could have given up their seats, it does help if it is the closest seat to the door though. And if you are sitting in a disabled seat (some buses and trains have these) without a disability (visible or invisible) then you must give that seat up to someone who needs it. I have plantar fasciatis which causes serious (and sometimes excruciating) pain in my heels and is triggered by standing for long periods but when I took public transport I would always offer my seat to anybody that got on rather than just making a fuss about it.
Pregnancy is a choice and not a condition. Where's the sympthay for people with cancer and are too weak to stand? Where's the sympathy for people who had knee surgery and are in pain? Society expects everyone to bow to the whim and command of every Preggo just because "it's the decent thing to do". I will never give up my seat because someone is pregnant. I will always give it up for the disabled or elderly. As a friend once said regarding pregnant women on public transport: "She should have screwed someone with a car!"
1. A young man might need to be seated too, for example because of pain or tiredness. 2. There were other people there too. 3. He could have just said his feet hurt, because social pressure and comments can get nasty. 4. The whole breeding reasoning and comments are unnecessary. 5. This story seems fake.
I'm sure she is in pain. But couldn't she wait like 5 minutes until someone got off the bus to take their seat. I don't blame this guy for not giving up his seat. I hate interacting with people irl. I would have just turned the other way and then it would be like a signal to her not to talk to me and go ask someone else.
Clearly both felt entitled to the seat due to their personal choices and circumstances. We have become a society where some openly cry when they don’t get exactly their way and others feel justified in shaming another for their choices. We don’t know how he felt internally nor her so we can’t say one had it worse at that time. It is a shame someone else other than the elderly person didn’t offer their seat. Just to have peace, I’ve given up seats that I paid more for on planes. I’d rather just be left alone than heat complaining but, again, I had a seat and wasn’t left standing on sore feet.
Why is everyone jumping to the tune of he told her to get an abortion when that isn't the case at all. It's idiots like you who convince yourselves of other people's wrong doings. Don't jump on the band wagon and think for yourself
Because this is a collection of some of the dumbest liars on our side of the political spectrum. BP houses some of the dumbest people online who aren’t Republicans.
Bit hard, if the guy was the only one targeted for not getting up it doesn’t make sense. I’m sure there were plenty of other people on that bus/train that could’ve given it up compared to him, who accordingly works like 10 hours a day on his feet. However it is simple courtesy to give up your seat to those with disadvantages. And yes it was her fault for getting pregnant, or not and just decided to keep the baby. But imagine when your mom was pregnant, would you want someone to give up their seat. Also sayings breeding is just wrong.
Pregnancy doesn't entitle you to a damn thing. People need to get off their high horses.
It’s not as bad as the incident in the UK last week. A lady slipped outside her house and because of her disability could not get to her feet unaided. She asked a Royal Mail postie if he could help her up but he said he couldn’t as he was too knackered and simply walked away. I don’t care which country any such incidents happen in I just worry where our common decency and willingness to help others has gone.
Honestly, if I was the dude I would have said no too. Is He an asshole i mean a little but so is the lady no one has to hive her their seat and it would be just as easy to be like oh ok and i dont know ask someone else.
I do not think the dude is an asshole. Giving up your seat or any sort of "courtesy" decisions is kind of like charity to me. You do or you don't, it's up to you and none of anyone's business why.
Sure, everyone has an equal right, or at least first come first serve. But it us up to each individual to decide if they want to help a fellow human being in need. Has no one ever helped you before?
Everyone pays. Everyone is entitled to sit. Unfortunately seats are hard to get esp peak hrs. No its the guy’s right to sit. Its not an automatic entitlement. She got pregnant. Pregnancy is s condition, not a serious affliction.
Pregnancy can come with a wide variety of side effects, from the minor to the truly awful. If she falls, it could be a trip to the hospital, or the loss of her child. If you are able-bodied, and won't be seriously injured if you fall down, you should give up for seat for people that might be, including the disabled, elderly, and pregnant. Period. This is just fundamental human decency.
That would only apply if pregnancy just fell on people and they didn’t have a choice, like lupus or a car accident. Pregnancy is a decision to be differently abled; and not one you can impose on another struggling person just because they don’t share your struggle. Don’t be narrow minded and trashy.
It would be different if he had an invisible disability or something but he was just tired after work, welcome to the club mate. I'm on my feet for 8-10 hours in my place too and I know you should still give up your seat for someone who is pregnant. It's not that she's tired and uncomfortable it's that its literally more dangerous for someone who's pregnant to stand. He just sounds like a baby. Having said that, he's not the only AH in the situation because nobody offered their seat initially either.
I'm a woman and I've had three kids and I would never expect someone else to make themselves less comfortable just so I can be lazy. It's not that hard to stand just because you're pregnant.
My thoughts? Easy. You're a selfish asshole.
This is the fakest story I’ve ever read
Do people not realize this guy is trolling for a reaction? Lots of people farm for downvotes. This was a ridiculous fairytale.
Hard to believe anyone could b that stupid. I'm 90 and without hesitation I would have offered her my seat.
You’re 90?! Wow. I guess I never think of the elderly online
You really believe that? I don't.
Wow that guy is a pathetic excuse for a human being. We're all f*****g tired but you god dam give your seat to a pregnant woman you piece of s**t
Why are you assuming that the pregnant woman is more tired than he is?
This guy seems to be selfish and have a lack of empathy, as well as bad manners, which makes him a jerk.That makes him similar to a lot of other people. If he's interested in becoming a better person, he certainly has that opportunity. So his feet hurt. How does he know the other person's feet (or back, etc) aren't hurting worse than his?
Every bus has a section for elderly, handicapped or pregnant persons ... but, even if there was no other seats available, that means the bus is packed and if it's packed, that means there about 20+ other people that could have offered her a seat ... she just chose his and he paid the price for not "complying" ...
If we are talking about how he is an "as**ole" because, even after he politely disagree to give away his seat, he still was "rude" on social-morale aspect of the situation - don't forget to call out pregnant woman and that old man an as**oles too, because she didn't need to call him names just because he refused to give a seat. And old man could have just given the seat without calling him names as well. Being pregnant or an old man doesn't mean you can be as**oles to everyone around you, as well as being tired doesn't mean you can be a jerk.
I honestly think this guy is a bit rude, but he's had a hard day, give him a break. She could have asked someone else, as if he was as tired as he says it would have been visible. But him saying she can just get an abortion and shouldn't have a kid is definitely not right.
I'll get disliked for this, but don't think he's 100% an asshole. How was anyone on that bus to know he wasn't invisibly disabled? (as far as we can tell, he isn't, but how was anyone to know, as well as the fact he isn't required to divulge his disability to a stranger) Anyone on that bus could have given up their seat. As for the old man, age doesn't always = unable bodied. I have low mobility, as well as chronic pain (fibromyalgia) which can lead to fatigue and dizziness, meaning being on my feet just isn't a 100% viable idea. Some days I can walk for miles, others I can barely get down the street. I have a bus pass, and I get stares enough for that, but honestly it annoys me so much when people assume I'm perfectly able bodied and don't need a seat. Callous as it is, you have the choice to get pregnant or not in most cases. I didn't have any choice regarding my disabilities. Yet most times I still end up giving my seat up.
I was raised to treat women respectfully: holding doors, offering my seat, offering to pay for stuff, etc.
You should treat all people respectfully, not just women.
I do
I have no idea why you are being downvoted for saying that. I do not know if people rather you let doors slam in ladies' faces after you walk through or what but I don't see how having manners is an issue. It is not like you are treating them as though they are helpless and weak just by doing those things (that is, I hope you personally are not but the action alone doesn't mean you do). My father was raised that way, and I have seen many a woman glad for him being respectful etcetera towards them.
No, of course not. I see it as elevating them, if nothing else. It’s a gesture of respect, not a moment of disdain. And of course, if they reject my offers, I’ll allow them to do as they will (ie, split the bill).
Lmao you too, bro
Glad you remembered! Lmao
Thank you, sister (I hope you remember why I called you this). I enjoyed our conversation very much also. I hope you have an excellent remainder of the day.
A pleasure speaking with you, as always. Have an outstanding remainder of your day.
I agree entirely. Whilst we may have come far in other ways, we seem to have left basic things, such as common decency, behind. I am glad that you plan to pass on such rare qualities for these days.
I do plan to do so. It’s a terrible shame that common decency is something lauded, rather than an everyday fact of life.
TBH, I thought you were like that anyway, I just did not want to make any assumptions. I hope you teach your sons (if you have any) to do the same as you do. I plan to teach my sons to be like that (if I have any).
Yes, just like if a man was pregnant, I would give up my seat for him too. Just like if I was next to the guy on the train (or bus, I forgot) and I could tell he had a rough day, I would give him my seat. And when the pregnant lady got on, I would hope the guy or someone, anyone, would give her their seat. So Aragorn, I agree with you. Just being a decent person is the right thing to do.
Apparently, the trolls don’t like my perspective. I’m used to that
So disrespect the man sitting and resting?
This has nothing to do with holding doors for women (I hate that for the record, being treated as someone incapable to open a door), and everything with empathy to a human being who is uncomfortable.
Stop being a dumb bįtch, Vera. Nobody holds the door open for you because they think you can’t hold it. They’re trying to be nice and you’re thinking so idiotically about it. I bet you’re probably overweight and don’t even look like you can’t hold a door.
Such a classic response from a guy who was called out on his misogyny that he was working so hard to conceal lol.
Perspective people! What if it was a pregnant lady sitting there. An elderly lady in her 80's gets on and stares the heavily pregnant lady down. If she were to say the same thing this guy did. We would take it into consideration, no? Besides we are acting like people cannot stand up. As if anyone pregnant, elderly, or young cannot stand and be alright. I for 1 encourage nice behavior but I also know that we are all more than capable of standing on a bus and no harm will be done.
So did you read the part where the old man and pregnant lady fell? She could have literally lost her baby. So yes, harm can be done. The old man could have broken a brittle bone. Preventable accidents happen all the time.
Stephanie I'm not judging. The guy is judging her for being pregnant. I just don't understand why people don't have compassion for fellow humans. If I were on crutches and someone who needed a seat more than me were standing, I would give my seat up for them.
Maria, preventable accidents! It is like why we wear seatbelts, to hopefully prevent getting hurt worse in a wreck. Or life jackets. Some accidents are unnecessary.
Stop being misleading. She could have lost the baby, he could have broken a bone... Yeah. And you can have a heart attack tomorrow. And I can be run over by a bus next week. Is it the man's fault? There were many other people on that bus. If your stupid theory is true, all of them are equally responsible.
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Accidents happen and that is not a complete strangers fault. You're missing the point that you shouldn't attack a person who has done nothing wrong. We all are capable of preventing things ourselves. To put it off on another person is not okay. People need to chill and stop being so judgemental.
Becca you are judging this person. That is literally what you are doing. Just because you would have done it differently doesn't mean this guy did something wrong. And People need to realize that. You are totally judging his choice of not getting up. There is no reason to at all period. And you saying someone doesn't have compassion just because they made a different choice than you is messed up. The funny thing is you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. Because people would bitch if he did. Judge and say oh do you think pregnant women aren't capable of standing on their own two feet. Judging a person like that for 1 instant or situation is ridiculous, period.
Since the guy asked "AITA". Yes you are. A "No,can you ask someone else please" vs "why don't you abort your baby, that's not my problem"
You do realize he didn't actually say those words to her right? He says he politely said no then expressed his dickheaded opinion on the matter when explaining the story.
yeah and probably some other things are not 100% true either. But that doesn't change the fact the character (real or not) is an Asshole. pretending not to see a pregnant woman fall down. ...
That’s not what he said, ugly. Try being honest next time.
I get being tired, but this accusation that it's her own fault for becoming pregnant is bonkers.
Happened to me with an old lady once. Same story as this guy, I worked 10 hrs and did overtime as well. In the subway home, there was this old lady and I just said I'm tired too. So what is this all about? It's not a crime to be tired, next time I will share my seat...
I am 100% with this guy. I don't believe that we should have any more kids; the world is terrible, life is too hard, and being human is a burden. We're shoved into this life and have no choices except fight to survive or kill ourselves. The woman who chooses to have a child has done just that - she's chosen, and she's chosen for the child she's created. NOBODY owes her anything, and she's added another burden to an already overpopulated world.
I've seen it mentioned on Bored Panda and other places on how you can't judge people when it comes to handicap parking. When the person has the valid permit. On how just because it looks to you that person does not need the space you don't know their physical issues. How come the same is not implemented here? Why should people who look like they are in better physical shape than you be required to give up a seat.
He is completely right.
I just think he's an asshole because he lectured her instead of just saying no. And there were other people on the bus who also could give up their seat. It's been awhile since I used public transit but there should be seating specifically for pregnant/elderly near the driver. And if one chooses to sit in one of those seats, be prepared to give it up.
I would prefer sitting too, but the feeling I get from doing something nice for someone else is more important to me
One day, in the subway. All the seats were taken by middle aged men. A heavily pregnant woman came in. None of the men gave her a sit. Then I stood up on my crutches with my broken leg to give her mine. She said "no, crutches, broken leg... it's ok". I insisted. All the men stood up to give their seat. We have assholes here, but not such assholes. Not about the facts, but about the way he talks about it. Insensitive, egoistic asshole.
The way this guy writes about the experience does make him sound like a jerk. If he had been nicer about the situation and explained to her why he did not want to get up then she could have moved on to the next person and asked them to get up. Just because he is closest to the door doesn't mean he's the one who is most able to give up a seat. When I did 12 hour shifts on my feet all day all I wanted to do for the rest of the night was sit.
You should read the article.
It’s incredibly inconsiderate not to give up one’s seat to someone who is pregnant or elderly. This happened to me when I was pregnant, and even had people on MUNI bumping up against my belly. It’s shameful to be honest. Tired feet are no comparison to how a woman’s body can feel towards the end of pregnancy. It’s called compassion. Sad that so many people don’t get that concept. For the record, I always give up my seat for pregnant women, elderly people, and kids. Just don’t be a punk!
Wow, just wow.
So insightful.
I'm reminded of George Carlin's response to those "Baby On Board" car signs: "So I'm supposed to modify my driving habits because your birth control failed?" :) In that situation I think I would have offered my seat, but that's my choice. This guy made his choice. I will not shame him for it, and shame on the rest of you for doing so.
"Baby On Board" signs are for first responders in case of an accident, so they know to look for the baby first.
That’s a myth / lie. Look it up.
That's a crock. It wouldn't work that way anyway in the case that the first responder sees the driver bleeding heavily or otherwise seriously injured. The baby car seat would be visible too.
When i was pregnant, i would never compel anyone to make them get up and then shame them after. You don't know their situation. What if you shame them and they bring out a cane? Currently (post pregnancy), I had a stroke, have back issues, walk with a limp and have bad balance. I would feel horrible if a pregnant woman tried compelling me to let her sit and I'll have to explain all that without a physical indication (cane). Obviously i would be grateful if a stranger gave up a seat for me while pregnant, but that would be voluntary. I wouldn't thrust my stomach in someone's face to make them get up unless it was dire need.
It’s funny how the voices of pregnant women all got slammed to the bottom for not agreeing that the man was wrong.
100% in agreement with the OP
I mean, yeah, his attitude is kinda assholish, but I don't really believe that the whole bus was full of old, pregnant and disabled people. They all, apart from one old man, just happily sat there. What's weird is that he decided to tell his family for some reason and take it to the Internet. It's such a ridiculous non-issue, really.
I am on both sides he could have just politely said he declined and said but you can ask another person.
Where I'm from there are designated bus seats in the front for the elderly, disabled, pregnant or with children. You can sit there but must move if someone who needs it gets on. On packed buses those seats are always full. I was once standing on a packed bus when an elderly woman with a cane got on. A young man refused to give her his seat, and the rest of those front seats were already taken with people who they were for. Others were offering seats to her, including other elderly and women with children. Because it was a designated seat though, the bus driver was allowed to stop the bus until the young man got off the bus, not up from his seat, off the bus, because he didn't follow the rule. The transit police were called and he got off when he saw them coming. He was ticketed, and not allowed back on. It delayed us all 10 minutes, but we didn't care, we all clapped and cheered. People like this exist and some require consequences.
I think that it was OK he said no but she didn't have to be rude. and what's with the old ma?
I can't imagine this happening in Australia. Just can't see why nobody would give up their seat for a pregnant woman, and why would they judge some tired guy who didn't want to do this.
I've been pregnant using public transport in Australia. Yes, most of the time people make room but I would honestly not recomend it. I had to ride standing up more often than I should have, and sometimes the pain in my hips and pelvis was actually enough to ask someone to move for me when no one offered. On one occassion I even gave up my seat to an elderly lady when no-one offered her a seat.
If you hurt from standing, imagine how a pregnant person feel. Everyone should have an equal right to a seat, but if someone NEEDS it more I would get up. It is just being a good human. What goes around comes around.
He literally explained why if you actually wanted to understand. You don’t want to understand
I woul've given my seat to her anyway, cuz duh I don't want to start a fight with some pregnant Karen, and sit there with all the eyes pointed at me
well I mean I get that when your pregnant that you want a seat. But hey It wont hurt the baby to stand if you can't find one.
I think it is his right to not give up the seat. He is not a nice guy but reading what he has to go through after 10 long work hours it is reasonable. I am a woman and also had a kid but it was my choice so I didn’t expect any special treatment. I do not think women should expect special treatment for being pregnant. If women want equality then they should be tough enough to act their part.
That story has exactly the same attitude - why should i care, she wanted a baby, contraception, abortions, blabla...Come on! You can apply this approach to any scenario - it’s not my fault he’s old, he wanted to live; it’s not my problem that someone is disabled, i’m also dead tired. Don’t be that miserable person. If we had this approach to life, world would be a terrible place! What I see here is complete lack of empathy. This person obviously hasn’t had a chance to develop empathy through adolescence and childhood. We’re born hardwired with capacity for empathy, but its development requires practice. The idea of working until your due date and maternity leave that lasts 3 weeks is incomprehensible for the rest of the world, but that’s a different topic 2/2
DC Metro 2019. 8 months pregnant, getting on the train after working all day and looking for available seat. I spot the guy who is standing and have his bag spread across 2 seats. I stand there hoping he’d move his bag, but instead, he decides to ignore me. When i finally asked him if i could seat there, he said he was saving the seat for a friend?! (He moved later looking for a friend who was suppose to get on the same train). I was shocked and disappointed, I have to admit. I’m relatevly new to the US, and in Europe there are seats reserved for elderly, disabled and pregnant. This is probably the time when i realized how cruel and cold this place is. Not to mention manners or just being polite! I’m not going to go into details about womens’ anatomy and why they’re ‘disabled’ in a way during and after pregnancy. And it’s not about me, I’m a fit mom who can handle standing after working all day, but i know other women who had terrible health issues during their pregnancies 1/2
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Neg me if you want, but that guy's a f*****g d**k.
So everyone else on the bus kept their seats also right? I remember years and years ago taking the bus to work from Oakland to San Francisco, I was pregnant there were no empty seats so I had to stand and no one offered their seat to me male nor female. So I stood. Would not have thought of asking a guy for his seat. And the crying because she didn’t get her way is a bit much. We judge far too much without giving a thought to the other person and the choice was his after all. And if the old guy and pregnant woman had been holding on they would not have fallen. Bottom line we all have the choice of deciding for ourselves what we want to do period, without owing the world a explanation. It was his choice and he had the right to say no.
Buses in my state dont have designated handicapped seating. Not everything is nationwide in America.
First and foremost Don't expect people to give you a place to sit. These days men are learning to ignore women like an unnumbered member of the rest of the people on transport. Pregnant or not. You can thank your feminist overlords for that one. If you need a place to sit, ask.
he’s a punk ass bitch and an asshole
Where are abortions free?
Where are abortions free?
If this is True--this guy has to be more Trump like than Trump himself-- &--I'd bet that the car crash he had was His fault-
This could depend a lot on your pregnancy. I worked full time with both and was also a student with one. My son sat on just the right spot to cause a severe pain in my left lower back and hip. I was on my feet all day and finishing my degree, yeah, it was my choice to decide to go ahead with the pregnancy, but it was so painful that by the time I got home most nights it was too late. I never asked anyone for their seat but I as very appreciative of those who offered. When I was pregnant with my daughter I was also on my feet all day but I wasn't as sick and she never found that spot her brother did, so I felt pretty good the whole time and most of the time someone offered a seat I declined. She may have chosen to continue a pregnancy but he chose a job that kept him on his feet all day and required a 20 minute walk home from the bus. We all make decisions.
Always give up your seat for and elderly person, pregnant lady, or someone with a disability. It's just good manners, and considerate
I don’t like his line of thinking, he don’t have a car because of an accident... maybe her car was totaled too? The getting pregnant part was asinine, but you know what? Women want equality? Well, that was equality.
Adults are responsible for themselves. Strangers are not. If someone chooses to be nice that's lovely, but demanding that a stranger give you what you demand is entitled.
Well, he's an a**hole. And a stupid one at that, posting it to the internet.
I experienced the same situation about 30 years ago. I was about 8 months pregnant and boarded the bus. No seats were available so I looked at a few of the business men sitting there hoping one would give up their seat. Nope, so I hung on the pole hoping for a smooth ride. You know who got up and told me to take his seat? A young black gang member. He was a member of the Bloods (red bandana, etc). I told him loudly so the others could hear, "Thank you, your mother raised you well." Never judge a book by its cover.
I've been reading over these comments the last few days. I hope the next generations take care of their fellow humans better than we have done. I didn't realize so many people were willing to just turn a blind eye and be selfish. Who cares how people got into their situations? We are all living right now. And we if don't look out for each other, we have no hope.
I would have ripped that jerk's headphones off so fast and pulled him out of that seat. Selfish little creep.
There are reasons that someone would take a bus other than they can't afford a car. For me the reason I don't drive is because I'm scared of learning to drive cuz I'm scared of accidentally killing someone.
I've had this happen to me on the London Tube. I was heavily pregnant and trying to manage a toddler. I looked around and no one would give up their seat for me. People these days...
the serious problem is that he started judging her for her choices he had no right to do that! and sorry but yes he was rude! The polite thing would be to say I'm sorry but I have problem with my feet could you ask someone else? all the rest was unnecessary and he is asking exactly what? He expects to tell him well done? We have to care for other people too and I don't think the problem was that he was tired I'm pretty sure he wouldn't stand anyway! He just wanted to be rude!
I agree with the person who said everyone was an ass for not giving her their seat. Obviously, this guy wasn't the only person on the bus. He should have given her his seat but what about the other people.