Thanksgiving Dinner With Friends Ends Up With A Friendship Falling Out Because The Host Refused To Cook A $120 Steak To Well-Done
Someone’s diet is a very personal choice. Some people don’t eat meat or products derived from animals because they have moral principles, others may do that because of health reasons. Also, we all have our taste preferences and not everything pleases our taste buds. Most often that doesn’t interfere with our daily lives, but for this person it cost his friendship.
Reddit user Poecifer organized a Friendsgiving for a group of 10 people of close friends. During the dinner the host got in a fight with his friend’s girlfriend over how she wanted her steak cooked because he is very passionate about how it should be made.
More info: Reddit
A man wanted to host a Friendsgiving party for his close friends but ended up severing a friendship over meat doneness
Image credits: Steven Verbruggen (not the actual photo)
Poecifer decided to gather his friends and treat them to a special Friendsgiving dinner. He bought striploin of A5 Wagyu, which is beef of a Wagyu cattle raised within Hokkaido Prefecture in Japan. It is usually really expensive, but the Original Poster (OP) managed to get it a lot cheaper from a friend.
The host takes his meats very seriously and he compares steak to religion or a thing that is closest to it. He goes on to describe how he loves preparing it and doesn’t mind spending a lot of time doing it.
Image credits: Poecifer
The way he prepared the A5 meat was vacuum sealing it in a bag and then cooking it in a water bath with a very regulated temperature. The host made the steak medium-rare, allowing the possibility to make it medium, if necessary. Besides the A5 steak, the host also prepared other dishes that had chicken, duck and salmon as main ingredients.
In an edit he adds that he was planning the evening in advance and even sent out menus to the people who would come. He also mentioned that if they wanted their steak prepared in a different way, he would adjust for them.
The OP takes his meat seriously and he prepared various dishes, among them medium-rare steak
Image credits: Poecifer
This stake was from expensive meat that can cost $120 for a cut
Image credits: Poecifer
Even though it wasn’t a big party, there was one person that the host didn’t know that well because it was a new girlfriend of one of his friends. She was the first to cut into her steak and she wasn’t happy about seeing pink meat, which she considered to be raw, which is understandable but not completely true.
The woman didn’t want her boyfriend eating it either as she was afraid he would get sick because of it. Then she asked Poecifer to cook her steak until it was all brown.
Image credits: Poecifer
One friend’s girlfriend thought that it could get a person sick and asked for it to be cooked properly
Image credits: Poecifer
It seems that this request agitated the OP and he firmly refused and suggested that she could eat the other dishes that he had prepared. The girlfriend got angry and took matters into her own hands by heading to the microwave.
This is when the conflict really escalated because the host grabbed the plate from the woman’s hands as he believed that a well-done steak just means ruining the meat. In the process, half of the steak fell on the ground and it just became a sacrifice to the dogs, but it didn’t seem to upset the OP as he commented, “Well, at least it went to someone who wouldn’t s**t on a good steak.” It couldn’t have been pleasant for the woman to know that the host would rather give his prepared meal to his dog than adjust it to her liking, especially when they don’t know each other.
Image credits: Poecifer
The OP categorically refused and when the woman tried to do it herself, he grabbed the steak from her hands
Image credits: Poecifer
Friendsgiving didn’t start that well and everyone felt that. The guests felt tension through the whole evening. The couple didn’t eat much and left not long after.
But they didn’t forget what had happened nor did they forgive the host. The couple blocked the OP on social media and the other friends from the group too. Poecifer also got a PayPal invoice of $25 with the request of paying for the girlfriend’s dry cleaning, even though the OP doesn’t remember spilling anything on her.
Image credits: Poecifer
After the dinner the friend and the girlfriend blocked the host on social media and other friends too
Image credits: Poecifer
The host is upset that he probably lost an old friend and is asking if he was a jerk for not cooking the meat just how the woman wanted. Would you call him a jerk or was the girlfriend crossing the line?
People who read the story had varying opinions. Some of them thought that a host should cater to every guest’s taste, others were arguing that it was his house, so he gets to come up with the rules. Many were of the opinion that both the host and the guest were acting rude, because there was other food that the girlfriend could eat, but on the other hand, people shouldn’t get so offended when others like food you yourself wouldn’t eat.
People were quite divided and there were varying opinions
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This guy is a pretentious ass. She wasn't exactly polite about how she handled herself either but, I wonder how accurate a description is being told here. Sounds like this guy is high-and-mighty enough that her reaction has been greatly exaggerated.
I think the point of the whole post was for him to brag that he can pay for a 120$ steak and all the rest is fake
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OP seems like a jerk to me. I don't understand being pretentious about food. Like chefs who kick people out for asking for ketchup with steak. How somebody likes their food shouldn't make you so annoyed. I feel sick just seeing pink meat (even if I stick a thermometer in and know it's safe).
Those steaks start at £75 in the UK. Under no circumstances are they to be ruined by cooking to well done. The guy should have bought some cheap rump steak for her, she would have been chewing that bit of gristly shoe leather all day and wouldn't have known any better.
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YTA. I don't care about the following drama but just like any other "religion", OP tried to impose his own view / liking (medium rare) to others. I personally also only eat well done meat. I also am disgusted to see people eating pink or read meat. But I just let them do. And I except them to do the same with me.
It's not "liking medium rare". It's the fact that this is mindbogglingly expensive steak that loses all of it's value if overcooked. She could have asked for a cheaper steak and had it well done if she or her boyfriend had responded to his email but they didn't.
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The grammar in this gave me a headache. You're a pretentious prick (and this is coming from a Michelin chef). The fact that you'd have your dogs eat the steak, rather than being a decent host, speaks volumes. Not to mention that your dogs are obviously not trained at all. Pathetic.
I took my 8 month pregnant friend to a Michelin star restaurant for her birthday. She ordered steal well done, because when you are expecting you can't eat anything for safety reasons that is not cooked all the way. The chef refused to cook her steak the way she wanted, he even to came out of the kitchen to look at that "crazy person". After he saw her belly- he said " come back in couple of months for a steak, as for now- get some salad". There are people out there with F *d up "steak religion".
What the actual f**k!! So this guy doesn't serve pregnant women? They all have to eat salads? What an ass! By the way the salads are not safer in a restaurant for pregnancy! You have to be sure they are very well washed!!
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If you are cooking for yourself, cook it how you like it...BUT, if your cooking for someone else, cook it how they like it..THEY are the ones consuming it...my kids WILL NOT eat a steak with ANY pink in it...and I would never refuse to cook it that way for them...let alone yank a plate out of their hands..food is a personal preference...everyone tastes different...
Op sounds very controlling and pretentious...I would have had more joy, had I cooked it the way she liked it, and had her love it...that's the point of cooking for someone...you want them to love it...it's for THEM
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Sorry but it's childish as hell no matter how long you butter age or dry age your steaks. Maybe you should get her one, you don't feel such deep feelings for and make her that one well done. YTA and my bf loves and makes steaks and he's former chef and he loves cook for people he cares about, not that they want steak well done.
YTA. Pretty sure, if the posting actually happened, that the girlfriend in question was portrayed in as negative a manner as possible. You do not get to dictate how someone eats their food. Period. I personally prefer my meat a medium (give or take a little). I used to prefer all steaks well done. I don't give a damn about your "perfect" cooking if it's something that will turn my stomach just cutting it.
Though it's horrible to cook a steak as prized as that one at anything but medium rare, you should really just cook it longer. It was her steak and even though making it well done is ruining it, you weren't going to eat that piece anyway. Slapping the steak out of her hand when she tried to nuke it was crossing a line. ETA
If the meat is that good rare it’ll still be good well done! Maybe not to the host but he’s not the one eating that portion. I think he wanted to make the girlfriend feel unwelcome on purpose. They both seem like they suck! This story makes me want to continue my streak of not making any new close friends And letting go of toxic people
More likely trying to cover not knowing how to cook a well done steak. Seems that a lot of people don't know how to properly do so or aren't taught how to. If a "well done" steak is tough or leathery, that is overcooked not well done.
Load More Replies... You are an arsehole. It doesn't appear that you had any respect for "the new girl" even before she didn't want a rare steak. You behaved appallingly. You physically restrained a grown women from using a microwave and would rather your dogs eat steak than your good friends girlfriend (regardless of how she wanted it cooked). He is better off without you.
Yes, Poecifer, assuming this story is true, you are most definitely the asshole, and if I were the friend in question, I'd never speak to you again. There's a special place in Hell for idiots who try to force their dietary preferences onto everyone else. Enjoy your overpriced fatty steak the way you like it and let others enjoy it the way they like it.
Just cook the damn meat some more and thank your lucky stars you didn't have to deal with a vegan
As someone who eats 90% plant based, doesn’t give a s**t about what other people eat and can’t stand pretentiousness like that guy’s, I’m now grinning at the mental picture of me responding to behaviour like this with “it’s just a piece of cow flesh!”
Load More Replies... ESH I am a HUGE foodie and love my steak medium to medium rare, but if I had a guest who wanted theirs well-done, I'd bite my tongue and do it. If she was that obnoxious, it would suck but I would make sure to never bring her back. His friend also sounds like a pretentious dillhole
YTA if she wanted it dipped in ranch dressing and set on fire it her choice. The cut and price, which you said you got for a steal, doesn't matter.
What a disgusting way to behave to a guest. I agree with everything he said about the meat, and with nothing that he did. And why on earth did the guest kick up such stink instead of just having one of the other three meats on offer? Arseholes all round
The OP is a steak nazi. I'm a 20 year cook and I've served beef every which way. But some see it as one would see medium rare chicken. Forcing your will onto a "guest" shows him to be a bad person.
They both suck. Geez is this what people really have to be worried about? This is drama for the sake of drama. Get it together both of them.
Uhh he put his hands on her. Regardless of the rest he is the AH for that.
OP, who is a Complete @$$ needs to get a life. At the very least they could have suggested the well done guest try a tiny bite of steak cooked to medium. If no, then conceded to cook her piece that DIDN'T COST AN ARM AND A LEG because they got a great deal from a friend who had been given the steak.
YTA times 3 1. For asking AITA so you could brag about what a pretentious foodie you are & that you feel religious about dead cows. 2. For expecting everyone to conform to your taste because you think you know better. 3. For being rude to both your guest and you long term friend on a holiday. You're a terrible host. Reverse the situation. She invites you to her house & forces you to eat steak well done all the way thru because that's how she likes it. Telling people what they have to eat is bulls**t.
Sorry your steak is a religion and quite frankly you overpayed (letterkenny-steak). You stated yourself if you want steak cooked differently ask ahead but you don’t even as a host have the right to dictate how someone eats something .yes it ruins a good steak but that what happens when you think everyone should like steak like you. Should of just cooked it up and not be such a food critic about it. If it truly upset you that bad then when steak is on the menu don’t invite them. Or better yet when inviting people don’t be a smug elitist about it or inform them ahead of how you prepare it well done will not be accepted choose other options please! End
If you like well done steak, then the cut doesn't matter. Whether it's sirloin or Wagyu, it'll taste the same well done. I don't blame the guy for refusing to utterly destroy a steak of the best beef money can buy, especially when he also offered three meat alternatives. It would be like offering someone sushi-grade ahi tuna, and them demanding a tuna salad sandwich. No. However, both of them handled it poorly.
They’re both wrong. It wouldn’t have hurt him to cook it a little more for her. No matter how “seriously” he takes his steak. But her reaction was childish and uneducated. Pink is not raw. Likewise, it would not have hurt her to hold her nose and eat the steak medium. Sometimes it’s just a case of everyone should chill out. Maybe it’s better they don’t hang out any more.
Holding one's nose while eating does not prevent bacteria from entering the body and killing you. She might have been wrong about needing to cook the meat to kill the bacteria, but that is what she was worried about. Safety, not taste.
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As a foodie, when reading this, I initially thought NTA, but after reading the comments I started to change my mind. He should've just let her microwave her piece that she was to eat. To me, its the same as someone putting ketchup on their steak, but to each their own.
I'm thinking that running, not walking, away from this circle of friends is the best course of action.
As a person that does not eat beef all the steak rare medium done discourse and worshipping is such a petty bs, it's food and people can eat what they like how they like it, what really is sad how he was willing to throw away a friendship over a stupid plate of food
It's actually pretty straight forward. Which was worth more to him, the steak or the friendship? Sometimes you just have to look at these things objectively. My mom and I were sitting on the stoop and this guy walked by looking at us. She grumbled that she loaned him $20 and never paid it back. I told her that was a good thing. You found out that he doesn't keep his word and he will never borrow from you again. Totally worth the $20, to never have to deal with him again.
I feel sorry for anyone who spends $120 on an $8 steak. Lay them side by side and there really is no difference.
I'm fortunate, I can eat beef from raw to extremely well done. I also love eating my steak with lots of vinegar (childhood, working class background, cheap cuts of meat needed a lot of seasoning) everyone is entitled to eat a steak anyway they want.
Guy sounds like a controlling d**k and cooking a meal and hosting dinner wasnt about generousity but his ego instead. Pretentious prick.
I like my meat incinerated and got so tired of hearing how "The chef won't prepare it that way," even though the chef wasn't paying for my steak, that I stopped going to those restaurants. Customer pays, customer should get what they want. Obv
NTA. You are supposed to be courteous to guests, but guests have to behave. Did she ask for permission to use your microwave oven? You don't just go into someone's house, someone you have never met before, and start using their kitchen appliances. Good riddance to her. If your friend thinks you overreacted and would cut you off over such nonesense, he wasn't a friend, he was just a guy you knew.
If my guest requested meat well done I would make it the way they like it. If I went to their place I would expect them to make it the way I like it.That's how friendships and relationships work.He sounds like an aggressive know-it- all and I wouldn 't have him as a friend anymore either!
Yet another example of an entitled trump-spunket thinking it's up to him what goes into a woman's body. Don't get me wrong, I love a rare steak, but what other people do or don't eat is up to them.
He talks like he knows it all, but he’s an idiot. Well done on a5 wagyu is perfectly okay as the fat in it keeps it tender and tasty. In fact thats how they often eat it in Japan. So the girl was an idiot for her reasoning about safety but the host was a double idiot, for his reasoning and for telling his guest how she should eat. I even doubt the story is true.
It's nice to not have a friend like this guy x.x Terrible host, pushing his steak preference onto someone and then being happier with dogs eating it than human x.x No, dogs won't appreciate the steak any more than any other meat. And calling steak a religion is already stepping on a path of crazy. It's great to have a hobby or a passion, but turning A STEAK into personal religion.. wow His ex-friends are probably better of without such ass of a friend, u gotta remove toxic people from your life
ESH. Like, I get it, if it was a normal steak then whatever, but you don't overcook wagyu if you have any sense at all, and he was just a complete douchbag about it.
Given that his entire personality is built around his 'meat fetishist' role, it was a direct attack on his character and he reacted as such.
The guy is a d**k! Plain and simple. Steak is a 'cook to preference' meat, it doesn't matter what the cut is or what breed it's from. Personally I like my steak blue, and medium-rare is ruined meat to me. But I'm not gonna whine about it like some jumped-up wannabe who thinks there should be a law on peoples taste buds!
If this girl is an adult and thinks that pink steak will make her sick..... pretentiously feeling her it won't is not going to suddenly change her mind. Well done steak is an atrocity, but this sounds like he was pretty condescending.
Aging a steak for 3-4 months? He probably read that in a magazine like Bon Appetit.
NTA, OP! They had the menu earlier, she could choose. You knew about the special steak and how to cook it best. All she had to say, was "No thank you, I don't like pink meat." I prefer my steak medium rare myself, more tender and tastier. Good for you. The other commentators who thought you an AH, don't know any better.
Not a win for either, frankly. She was obnoxious about it and he wasn't any better. It's not like he paid for it, it was free for him. I would've been very frustrated that it was wasted on her but I would've dropped the issue after mentioning the other food and her pressing the issue. I used to be a "no pink" person but I also understand food and food prep is important to some people. Like others have said, definitely would've anticipated not everyone being at that same level of appreciation for some items and bought a cheaper cut. The fall out is ridiculous. Seems like the whole bunch of people weren't really meant to be and this was the final straw.
Both are TA I hate my meat pink. I know a lot of ppl says that's the right to eat it and blah blah but I just don't like it. She was awfully rude to DEMAND anything, she was a guest. He was an awful host, that's not the way to handle things either. If it was a kind guest that asked politely to cook more her meat how he would acted?
I'd marry you for your steak appreciation alone. And standing up to someone not knowing how to cook wanting something ruined. Tell them to go to a place that has that cut of meat on a menu an ask it to be cooked/destroyed that way an see them laughed out of there. Lol. Btw I'm drooling for how you described that meat. My sister eats hers well done. I like mine barely hearing the word "cooked" from a mime. But def the outside needs that kiss of fire. Dammit marry me. Lol
Wow. I have lots of mixed feelings on this one. Here it goes. First, the host made the guests aware well in advance what the menu would consist of and how the steak would be cooked. Second, she is very misinformed about steak. The lettuce she eats will likely make her sick quicker than a medium steak. Also, she made herself the first ass by directing others to bot eat it or they will get sick. As a guest, it seems that she should have mustered up a little class and just opted for one of the other dishes and taken her leftover steak home and cook it to her liking herself. But to only see the option to be a 'Karen' shows her character. The host probably noticed this and was understandably insulted by this.....person. That being said, maybe he should have been the bigger person and suggested as above. Reading things like this makes me appreciate being from the deep south where there's 47 dishes to choose from, fix our own plates and avoid the one's with dog hair! Lol
What an absolute B...imagine being practically a stranger, coming into someone's elses home and throwing a giant fit over a pink steak when there were several other options. It's fine to have personal taste, but be polite and scoot it to the side if you don't like it, and leave other people out of it. Also, you have to be an absolute idiot to not know about safe cooking temperatures. You knew in advance how that meat was going to be cooked but took it anyway to cause drama. Either way he was feeding that meat to a dog, but at least the one who got it was grateful. No loss of friendship here, only dodged bullets. Nobody deserves that much drama in their lives. This woman was out to make a scene and drive her boyfriend away from the friends he had already. Good luck with that, my dude... NTA
Everyone does suck here. However, grabbing a woman's arm as a man...you suck the most. Lucky you weren't given a knee to your own meat.
You’re not going to get sick from medium rare, anything more is burnt! He also sent the menu out in advance, with an option to go to to medium… she very well knew or least the friend did, so she should have picked something different! It’s not your house, therefore you don’t just start using his stuff without permission!
Everyone involved sucks. But like... cooking a wagyu steak until it's a hockey puck should be illegal. However, he didn't have to be such a prick about it. Since he loves meat so much why didn't he just grab a few extra steaks from the local butcher just in case. Not like he wouldn't eat it eventually. Then it wouldn't have been so crazy to burn a fucken steal that costs more than my rent. But then again, you can't control how people eat food. But this post also seemed like this dude just wanted to brag about how much he likes fo play with meat... so idk if it's even real.
As an experienced 'guest' she behaved like a psycho. The options that she had other than the steak were opulent to say the least. We're not talking health issues such as allergies or pregnancy here as far as food choices are concerned. We're talking about an entitled nightmare of a guest who doesn't know when to say thank you for having me and instead choosing to act like an entitled ahole. You're not a restaurant, you are a friend who graciously put on an amazing and generous meal. Good on you for not feeling obligated to placate her in your own home. Where has gratitude & graciousness gone??? If you invited me over for a weenie roast and s'mores I'd be thrilled. NTA
Guga is that you😂 Technically YTA but do was she, I do agree wholeheartedly that cooking an A5 Wagyu well done is just criminal but there must have been a nicer way to handle it than trying to snatch it out of her hand. Maybe explain to her that Wagyu cooked well done would be like eating shoe leather as a way of putting her off eating it that way and offer to cook it till just past medium so that the juices don't run pink(basically try to meet her demand halfway so that whilst the steak won't be at its best it won't be outright ruined either).
Everyone saying the OP is the AH are themselves self-righteous entitled AHs. Do you people even know what Wagyu or any high-quality cut of beef is? He provided a menu in advance with doneness level limitations and even said he'd buy a quality non-Wagyu cut of steak for anyone that wanted steak brown and dry. That girl wasn't just an AH, she was a full-on Karen AH. When you are invited to a meal and told in advance the limitations, you do NOT get to make stupid requests. If the limits are unacceptable to you, you either skip that item or stay home. Only a full-blown AH would request someone ruin a top-grade steak. Chuck steak is the best you deserve. OP should send his ex-friend and his KAH GF a Paypal invoice for the $120 cut of steak.
Did she see the email? It's quite possible that the friend saw it, but did not relay the info to the girlfriend. Many people are taught it's dangerous to eat meat that is not cooked through and through. Some restaurants state they won't serve unless it's well done. Considering we're seeing his point of view and sees nothing wrong with slapping something out of her hand, like many people, it seems likely his behavior was worse than described and hers wasn't quite as bad as described. In any case, I think they are both TA.
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They're both in the wrong. The cook is an ass for being willing to end a friendship over a fricken piece of meat and dictating how someone will eat and the girl and her boyfriend are asses for cutting all ties over a piece of meat. Both parties seems childish.
Host is definitely in the right. You do Not microwave 120$ steak, there were other foods available. I waitressed at a steakhouse where i learned if you order well done steak, they have ones with weird marbling set aside for you since the steaks won't cook to a proper med-rare. If you eat well done steak, order a hamburger at a restaurant instead. Glad that the dog ate it so it was enjoyed as it was meant to be cooked. Pink is unsafe lmao, what an educated rube. Host said he would have gotten grocery store steak for her if she needed it ruined, so definitely nta.
Turns out, after reading most of your posts, you're all a bunch of ignorant pricks. The guy gave options and she wanted to s**t on it. If she can't read, she should have said something. You do not use a $500 bottle of wine as a mixer with coke. It is apparent the most of you ignorant assholes live at McDonald's. He's not pretentious, he's proud, you assholes. Get it right!
All of you saying the OP is an asshole are just a bunch of uneducated boors. What you seem to forget is that the man specifically mentioned the rules in his invitation. So the guests knew in advance that the highlight of the party will be the Wagyu beef stake. If the name didn't ring any bells they could have just googled it in advance and decline the invitation if it wasn't their thing. What the woman did was deeply insulting. I can see how the host's actions might appear extreme, BUT he did mention the rules well in advance. So, to all those saying he was rude and pretentious, I dare you to go to Japan and try to pull that sh*t over there, see what reaction you get. And until then, go to a black tie event dressed in bermuda shorts and sandals, see if they let you in...
And he cooked this expensive piece of meat on a cheap BBQ LMFAO? what a wanker.
Let me get this straight: you invite people over, pay for the food and then cook for them, right? Also you offered to cook another piece of meat for her, right? In addition she did proceed to help herself while not being at home and against your instructions? Then the verdict is NTA. She was 100% over the line.
NTA in my book. Everyone in this story seems to have behaved and responded a little badly, but that precious a steak is not to be cooked well-done. End of story. If GF would have wanted a well-done steak, she had the possibility to let the host know in advance, and she did not. Which makes the host NTA. As a host, you have every right to propose to cook the food you serve in manner A or B, and C is not an option. There was plenty of other food to choose from.
As someone who is REALLY particular about my beef, I understand exactly what this guy was thinking/saying. And as a guest at many dinner parties, I can confirm I would NEVER behave like this girl did. I would have eaten something else. I'm erring on the side of NTA because I feel the same way about an excellent cut of meat...but I don't think I'd ever behave the way this guy did towards a guest in my home. I just wouldn't invite them back!
An Aunt once poured orange juice into a glass of Pommery champagne one Boxing Day lunch. Next year she was given the cheap rubbish while the rest of us enjoyed the good stuff. He should have done the same, next time she only gets the cheap steak since she can't appreciate the good stuff.
Grabbing the steak from her hands was a bit much. I would have allowed her to zap the steak. I would also have made a mental note not to waste good food on her again. Get some cheap versions and let her enjoy them.
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Reading your message, you also sound like an "entitled Karen". No, well done (brown) isn't charcoal (black). No, "any further cooked than Medium" is not "viewed as weird by standard across the globe". Microwave was, it seems, the most logical in this situation since she wasn't in her home (You can't grab a pan and do your stuff at someone's place, but you can microwave). How is it even remotely related to misogyny? At no point is it mentioned that OP's action were due to the other person gender. You are going to far.
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This guy is a pretentious ass. She wasn't exactly polite about how she handled herself either but, I wonder how accurate a description is being told here. Sounds like this guy is high-and-mighty enough that her reaction has been greatly exaggerated.
I think the point of the whole post was for him to brag that he can pay for a 120$ steak and all the rest is fake
Load More Replies... OP seems like a jerk to me. I don't understand being pretentious about food. Like chefs who kick people out for asking for ketchup with steak. How somebody likes their food shouldn't make you so annoyed. I feel sick just seeing pink meat (even if I stick a thermometer in and know it's safe).
Those steaks start at £75 in the UK. Under no circumstances are they to be ruined by cooking to well done. The guy should have bought some cheap rump steak for her, she would have been chewing that bit of gristly shoe leather all day and wouldn't have known any better.
Load More Replies... YTA. I don't care about the following drama but just like any other "religion", OP tried to impose his own view / liking (medium rare) to others. I personally also only eat well done meat. I also am disgusted to see people eating pink or read meat. But I just let them do. And I except them to do the same with me.
It's not "liking medium rare". It's the fact that this is mindbogglingly expensive steak that loses all of it's value if overcooked. She could have asked for a cheaper steak and had it well done if she or her boyfriend had responded to his email but they didn't.
Load More Replies... The grammar in this gave me a headache. You're a pretentious prick (and this is coming from a Michelin chef). The fact that you'd have your dogs eat the steak, rather than being a decent host, speaks volumes. Not to mention that your dogs are obviously not trained at all. Pathetic.
I took my 8 month pregnant friend to a Michelin star restaurant for her birthday. She ordered steal well done, because when you are expecting you can't eat anything for safety reasons that is not cooked all the way. The chef refused to cook her steak the way she wanted, he even to came out of the kitchen to look at that "crazy person". After he saw her belly- he said " come back in couple of months for a steak, as for now- get some salad". There are people out there with F *d up "steak religion".
What the actual f**k!! So this guy doesn't serve pregnant women? They all have to eat salads? What an ass! By the way the salads are not safer in a restaurant for pregnancy! You have to be sure they are very well washed!!
Load More Replies... If you are cooking for yourself, cook it how you like it...BUT, if your cooking for someone else, cook it how they like it..THEY are the ones consuming it...my kids WILL NOT eat a steak with ANY pink in it...and I would never refuse to cook it that way for them...let alone yank a plate out of their hands..food is a personal preference...everyone tastes different...
Op sounds very controlling and pretentious...I would have had more joy, had I cooked it the way she liked it, and had her love it...that's the point of cooking for someone...you want them to love it...it's for THEM
Load More Replies... Sorry but it's childish as hell no matter how long you butter age or dry age your steaks. Maybe you should get her one, you don't feel such deep feelings for and make her that one well done. YTA and my bf loves and makes steaks and he's former chef and he loves cook for people he cares about, not that they want steak well done.
YTA. Pretty sure, if the posting actually happened, that the girlfriend in question was portrayed in as negative a manner as possible. You do not get to dictate how someone eats their food. Period. I personally prefer my meat a medium (give or take a little). I used to prefer all steaks well done. I don't give a damn about your "perfect" cooking if it's something that will turn my stomach just cutting it.
Though it's horrible to cook a steak as prized as that one at anything but medium rare, you should really just cook it longer. It was her steak and even though making it well done is ruining it, you weren't going to eat that piece anyway. Slapping the steak out of her hand when she tried to nuke it was crossing a line. ETA
If the meat is that good rare it’ll still be good well done! Maybe not to the host but he’s not the one eating that portion. I think he wanted to make the girlfriend feel unwelcome on purpose. They both seem like they suck! This story makes me want to continue my streak of not making any new close friends And letting go of toxic people
More likely trying to cover not knowing how to cook a well done steak. Seems that a lot of people don't know how to properly do so or aren't taught how to. If a "well done" steak is tough or leathery, that is overcooked not well done.
Load More Replies... You are an arsehole. It doesn't appear that you had any respect for "the new girl" even before she didn't want a rare steak. You behaved appallingly. You physically restrained a grown women from using a microwave and would rather your dogs eat steak than your good friends girlfriend (regardless of how she wanted it cooked). He is better off without you.
Yes, Poecifer, assuming this story is true, you are most definitely the asshole, and if I were the friend in question, I'd never speak to you again. There's a special place in Hell for idiots who try to force their dietary preferences onto everyone else. Enjoy your overpriced fatty steak the way you like it and let others enjoy it the way they like it.
Just cook the damn meat some more and thank your lucky stars you didn't have to deal with a vegan
As someone who eats 90% plant based, doesn’t give a s**t about what other people eat and can’t stand pretentiousness like that guy’s, I’m now grinning at the mental picture of me responding to behaviour like this with “it’s just a piece of cow flesh!”
Load More Replies... ESH I am a HUGE foodie and love my steak medium to medium rare, but if I had a guest who wanted theirs well-done, I'd bite my tongue and do it. If she was that obnoxious, it would suck but I would make sure to never bring her back. His friend also sounds like a pretentious dillhole
YTA if she wanted it dipped in ranch dressing and set on fire it her choice. The cut and price, which you said you got for a steal, doesn't matter.
What a disgusting way to behave to a guest. I agree with everything he said about the meat, and with nothing that he did. And why on earth did the guest kick up such stink instead of just having one of the other three meats on offer? Arseholes all round
The OP is a steak nazi. I'm a 20 year cook and I've served beef every which way. But some see it as one would see medium rare chicken. Forcing your will onto a "guest" shows him to be a bad person.
They both suck. Geez is this what people really have to be worried about? This is drama for the sake of drama. Get it together both of them.
Uhh he put his hands on her. Regardless of the rest he is the AH for that.
OP, who is a Complete @$$ needs to get a life. At the very least they could have suggested the well done guest try a tiny bite of steak cooked to medium. If no, then conceded to cook her piece that DIDN'T COST AN ARM AND A LEG because they got a great deal from a friend who had been given the steak.
YTA times 3 1. For asking AITA so you could brag about what a pretentious foodie you are & that you feel religious about dead cows. 2. For expecting everyone to conform to your taste because you think you know better. 3. For being rude to both your guest and you long term friend on a holiday. You're a terrible host. Reverse the situation. She invites you to her house & forces you to eat steak well done all the way thru because that's how she likes it. Telling people what they have to eat is bulls**t.
Sorry your steak is a religion and quite frankly you overpayed (letterkenny-steak). You stated yourself if you want steak cooked differently ask ahead but you don’t even as a host have the right to dictate how someone eats something .yes it ruins a good steak but that what happens when you think everyone should like steak like you. Should of just cooked it up and not be such a food critic about it. If it truly upset you that bad then when steak is on the menu don’t invite them. Or better yet when inviting people don’t be a smug elitist about it or inform them ahead of how you prepare it well done will not be accepted choose other options please! End
If you like well done steak, then the cut doesn't matter. Whether it's sirloin or Wagyu, it'll taste the same well done. I don't blame the guy for refusing to utterly destroy a steak of the best beef money can buy, especially when he also offered three meat alternatives. It would be like offering someone sushi-grade ahi tuna, and them demanding a tuna salad sandwich. No. However, both of them handled it poorly.
They’re both wrong. It wouldn’t have hurt him to cook it a little more for her. No matter how “seriously” he takes his steak. But her reaction was childish and uneducated. Pink is not raw. Likewise, it would not have hurt her to hold her nose and eat the steak medium. Sometimes it’s just a case of everyone should chill out. Maybe it’s better they don’t hang out any more.
Holding one's nose while eating does not prevent bacteria from entering the body and killing you. She might have been wrong about needing to cook the meat to kill the bacteria, but that is what she was worried about. Safety, not taste.
Load More Replies... As a foodie, when reading this, I initially thought NTA, but after reading the comments I started to change my mind. He should've just let her microwave her piece that she was to eat. To me, its the same as someone putting ketchup on their steak, but to each their own.
I'm thinking that running, not walking, away from this circle of friends is the best course of action.
As a person that does not eat beef all the steak rare medium done discourse and worshipping is such a petty bs, it's food and people can eat what they like how they like it, what really is sad how he was willing to throw away a friendship over a stupid plate of food
It's actually pretty straight forward. Which was worth more to him, the steak or the friendship? Sometimes you just have to look at these things objectively. My mom and I were sitting on the stoop and this guy walked by looking at us. She grumbled that she loaned him $20 and never paid it back. I told her that was a good thing. You found out that he doesn't keep his word and he will never borrow from you again. Totally worth the $20, to never have to deal with him again.
I feel sorry for anyone who spends $120 on an $8 steak. Lay them side by side and there really is no difference.
I'm fortunate, I can eat beef from raw to extremely well done. I also love eating my steak with lots of vinegar (childhood, working class background, cheap cuts of meat needed a lot of seasoning) everyone is entitled to eat a steak anyway they want.
Guy sounds like a controlling d**k and cooking a meal and hosting dinner wasnt about generousity but his ego instead. Pretentious prick.
I like my meat incinerated and got so tired of hearing how "The chef won't prepare it that way," even though the chef wasn't paying for my steak, that I stopped going to those restaurants. Customer pays, customer should get what they want. Obv
NTA. You are supposed to be courteous to guests, but guests have to behave. Did she ask for permission to use your microwave oven? You don't just go into someone's house, someone you have never met before, and start using their kitchen appliances. Good riddance to her. If your friend thinks you overreacted and would cut you off over such nonesense, he wasn't a friend, he was just a guy you knew.
If my guest requested meat well done I would make it the way they like it. If I went to their place I would expect them to make it the way I like it.That's how friendships and relationships work.He sounds like an aggressive know-it- all and I wouldn 't have him as a friend anymore either!
Yet another example of an entitled trump-spunket thinking it's up to him what goes into a woman's body. Don't get me wrong, I love a rare steak, but what other people do or don't eat is up to them.
He talks like he knows it all, but he’s an idiot. Well done on a5 wagyu is perfectly okay as the fat in it keeps it tender and tasty. In fact thats how they often eat it in Japan. So the girl was an idiot for her reasoning about safety but the host was a double idiot, for his reasoning and for telling his guest how she should eat. I even doubt the story is true.
It's nice to not have a friend like this guy x.x Terrible host, pushing his steak preference onto someone and then being happier with dogs eating it than human x.x No, dogs won't appreciate the steak any more than any other meat. And calling steak a religion is already stepping on a path of crazy. It's great to have a hobby or a passion, but turning A STEAK into personal religion.. wow His ex-friends are probably better of without such ass of a friend, u gotta remove toxic people from your life
ESH. Like, I get it, if it was a normal steak then whatever, but you don't overcook wagyu if you have any sense at all, and he was just a complete douchbag about it.
Given that his entire personality is built around his 'meat fetishist' role, it was a direct attack on his character and he reacted as such.
The guy is a d**k! Plain and simple. Steak is a 'cook to preference' meat, it doesn't matter what the cut is or what breed it's from. Personally I like my steak blue, and medium-rare is ruined meat to me. But I'm not gonna whine about it like some jumped-up wannabe who thinks there should be a law on peoples taste buds!
If this girl is an adult and thinks that pink steak will make her sick..... pretentiously feeling her it won't is not going to suddenly change her mind. Well done steak is an atrocity, but this sounds like he was pretty condescending.
Aging a steak for 3-4 months? He probably read that in a magazine like Bon Appetit.
NTA, OP! They had the menu earlier, she could choose. You knew about the special steak and how to cook it best. All she had to say, was "No thank you, I don't like pink meat." I prefer my steak medium rare myself, more tender and tastier. Good for you. The other commentators who thought you an AH, don't know any better.
Not a win for either, frankly. She was obnoxious about it and he wasn't any better. It's not like he paid for it, it was free for him. I would've been very frustrated that it was wasted on her but I would've dropped the issue after mentioning the other food and her pressing the issue. I used to be a "no pink" person but I also understand food and food prep is important to some people. Like others have said, definitely would've anticipated not everyone being at that same level of appreciation for some items and bought a cheaper cut. The fall out is ridiculous. Seems like the whole bunch of people weren't really meant to be and this was the final straw.
Both are TA I hate my meat pink. I know a lot of ppl says that's the right to eat it and blah blah but I just don't like it. She was awfully rude to DEMAND anything, she was a guest. He was an awful host, that's not the way to handle things either. If it was a kind guest that asked politely to cook more her meat how he would acted?
I'd marry you for your steak appreciation alone. And standing up to someone not knowing how to cook wanting something ruined. Tell them to go to a place that has that cut of meat on a menu an ask it to be cooked/destroyed that way an see them laughed out of there. Lol. Btw I'm drooling for how you described that meat. My sister eats hers well done. I like mine barely hearing the word "cooked" from a mime. But def the outside needs that kiss of fire. Dammit marry me. Lol
Wow. I have lots of mixed feelings on this one. Here it goes. First, the host made the guests aware well in advance what the menu would consist of and how the steak would be cooked. Second, she is very misinformed about steak. The lettuce she eats will likely make her sick quicker than a medium steak. Also, she made herself the first ass by directing others to bot eat it or they will get sick. As a guest, it seems that she should have mustered up a little class and just opted for one of the other dishes and taken her leftover steak home and cook it to her liking herself. But to only see the option to be a 'Karen' shows her character. The host probably noticed this and was understandably insulted by this.....person. That being said, maybe he should have been the bigger person and suggested as above. Reading things like this makes me appreciate being from the deep south where there's 47 dishes to choose from, fix our own plates and avoid the one's with dog hair! Lol
What an absolute B...imagine being practically a stranger, coming into someone's elses home and throwing a giant fit over a pink steak when there were several other options. It's fine to have personal taste, but be polite and scoot it to the side if you don't like it, and leave other people out of it. Also, you have to be an absolute idiot to not know about safe cooking temperatures. You knew in advance how that meat was going to be cooked but took it anyway to cause drama. Either way he was feeding that meat to a dog, but at least the one who got it was grateful. No loss of friendship here, only dodged bullets. Nobody deserves that much drama in their lives. This woman was out to make a scene and drive her boyfriend away from the friends he had already. Good luck with that, my dude... NTA
Everyone does suck here. However, grabbing a woman's arm as a man...you suck the most. Lucky you weren't given a knee to your own meat.
You’re not going to get sick from medium rare, anything more is burnt! He also sent the menu out in advance, with an option to go to to medium… she very well knew or least the friend did, so she should have picked something different! It’s not your house, therefore you don’t just start using his stuff without permission!
Everyone involved sucks. But like... cooking a wagyu steak until it's a hockey puck should be illegal. However, he didn't have to be such a prick about it. Since he loves meat so much why didn't he just grab a few extra steaks from the local butcher just in case. Not like he wouldn't eat it eventually. Then it wouldn't have been so crazy to burn a fucken steal that costs more than my rent. But then again, you can't control how people eat food. But this post also seemed like this dude just wanted to brag about how much he likes fo play with meat... so idk if it's even real.
As an experienced 'guest' she behaved like a psycho. The options that she had other than the steak were opulent to say the least. We're not talking health issues such as allergies or pregnancy here as far as food choices are concerned. We're talking about an entitled nightmare of a guest who doesn't know when to say thank you for having me and instead choosing to act like an entitled ahole. You're not a restaurant, you are a friend who graciously put on an amazing and generous meal. Good on you for not feeling obligated to placate her in your own home. Where has gratitude & graciousness gone??? If you invited me over for a weenie roast and s'mores I'd be thrilled. NTA
Guga is that you😂 Technically YTA but do was she, I do agree wholeheartedly that cooking an A5 Wagyu well done is just criminal but there must have been a nicer way to handle it than trying to snatch it out of her hand. Maybe explain to her that Wagyu cooked well done would be like eating shoe leather as a way of putting her off eating it that way and offer to cook it till just past medium so that the juices don't run pink(basically try to meet her demand halfway so that whilst the steak won't be at its best it won't be outright ruined either).
Everyone saying the OP is the AH are themselves self-righteous entitled AHs. Do you people even know what Wagyu or any high-quality cut of beef is? He provided a menu in advance with doneness level limitations and even said he'd buy a quality non-Wagyu cut of steak for anyone that wanted steak brown and dry. That girl wasn't just an AH, she was a full-on Karen AH. When you are invited to a meal and told in advance the limitations, you do NOT get to make stupid requests. If the limits are unacceptable to you, you either skip that item or stay home. Only a full-blown AH would request someone ruin a top-grade steak. Chuck steak is the best you deserve. OP should send his ex-friend and his KAH GF a Paypal invoice for the $120 cut of steak.
Did she see the email? It's quite possible that the friend saw it, but did not relay the info to the girlfriend. Many people are taught it's dangerous to eat meat that is not cooked through and through. Some restaurants state they won't serve unless it's well done. Considering we're seeing his point of view and sees nothing wrong with slapping something out of her hand, like many people, it seems likely his behavior was worse than described and hers wasn't quite as bad as described. In any case, I think they are both TA.
Load More Replies... They're both in the wrong. The cook is an ass for being willing to end a friendship over a fricken piece of meat and dictating how someone will eat and the girl and her boyfriend are asses for cutting all ties over a piece of meat. Both parties seems childish.
Host is definitely in the right. You do Not microwave 120$ steak, there were other foods available. I waitressed at a steakhouse where i learned if you order well done steak, they have ones with weird marbling set aside for you since the steaks won't cook to a proper med-rare. If you eat well done steak, order a hamburger at a restaurant instead. Glad that the dog ate it so it was enjoyed as it was meant to be cooked. Pink is unsafe lmao, what an educated rube. Host said he would have gotten grocery store steak for her if she needed it ruined, so definitely nta.
Turns out, after reading most of your posts, you're all a bunch of ignorant pricks. The guy gave options and she wanted to s**t on it. If she can't read, she should have said something. You do not use a $500 bottle of wine as a mixer with coke. It is apparent the most of you ignorant assholes live at McDonald's. He's not pretentious, he's proud, you assholes. Get it right!
All of you saying the OP is an asshole are just a bunch of uneducated boors. What you seem to forget is that the man specifically mentioned the rules in his invitation. So the guests knew in advance that the highlight of the party will be the Wagyu beef stake. If the name didn't ring any bells they could have just googled it in advance and decline the invitation if it wasn't their thing. What the woman did was deeply insulting. I can see how the host's actions might appear extreme, BUT he did mention the rules well in advance. So, to all those saying he was rude and pretentious, I dare you to go to Japan and try to pull that sh*t over there, see what reaction you get. And until then, go to a black tie event dressed in bermuda shorts and sandals, see if they let you in...
And he cooked this expensive piece of meat on a cheap BBQ LMFAO? what a wanker.
Let me get this straight: you invite people over, pay for the food and then cook for them, right? Also you offered to cook another piece of meat for her, right? In addition she did proceed to help herself while not being at home and against your instructions? Then the verdict is NTA. She was 100% over the line.
NTA in my book. Everyone in this story seems to have behaved and responded a little badly, but that precious a steak is not to be cooked well-done. End of story. If GF would have wanted a well-done steak, she had the possibility to let the host know in advance, and she did not. Which makes the host NTA. As a host, you have every right to propose to cook the food you serve in manner A or B, and C is not an option. There was plenty of other food to choose from.
As someone who is REALLY particular about my beef, I understand exactly what this guy was thinking/saying. And as a guest at many dinner parties, I can confirm I would NEVER behave like this girl did. I would have eaten something else. I'm erring on the side of NTA because I feel the same way about an excellent cut of meat...but I don't think I'd ever behave the way this guy did towards a guest in my home. I just wouldn't invite them back!
An Aunt once poured orange juice into a glass of Pommery champagne one Boxing Day lunch. Next year she was given the cheap rubbish while the rest of us enjoyed the good stuff. He should have done the same, next time she only gets the cheap steak since she can't appreciate the good stuff.
Grabbing the steak from her hands was a bit much. I would have allowed her to zap the steak. I would also have made a mental note not to waste good food on her again. Get some cheap versions and let her enjoy them.
Load More Replies... Reading your message, you also sound like an "entitled Karen". No, well done (brown) isn't charcoal (black). No, "any further cooked than Medium" is not "viewed as weird by standard across the globe". Microwave was, it seems, the most logical in this situation since she wasn't in her home (You can't grab a pan and do your stuff at someone's place, but you can microwave). How is it even remotely related to misogyny? At no point is it mentioned that OP's action were due to the other person gender. You are going to far.
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