Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

BoredPanda Add post form topAdd Post Search
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Rich Man Doesn’t Realize His GF Can’t Afford His Lavish Lifestyle And Skipped Meals On Vacation, Asks If He’s Wrong
6.1K

Rich Man Doesn’t Realize His GF Can’t Afford His Lavish Lifestyle And Skipped Meals On Vacation, Asks If He’s Wrong

ADVERTISEMENT

Dear Pandas, it sometimes physically hurts reading some of the stories posted on the AITA subreddit. While plenty of people wondering whether or not they did the right thing end up being exonerated by their fellow redditors, sometimes we get stories like the one you’re about to read. Stories that make you lose your faith in humanity and wonder how thick, ignorant, and lacking in empathy some people can be.

Case in point, a very well-off redditor, who has since deleted their account after the massive backlash he received, shared a tale about how he and his girlfriend went on an expensive vacation abroad with his family. The thing to keep in mind is that the guy earns more than three times what his partner does and comes from a very well-off family. Meanwhile, his girlfriend had to get a second job for several months to even afford to go on the expensive vacation. And even then she couldn’t afford to go on all the outings or to even eat three square meals a day.

Let us know what you think of the situation, dear Pandas, and be sure to check out Bored Panda’s interview about the proper way to react to situations that make you defensive in a relationship. Spoiler warning: the answer definitely isn’t to avoid taking responsibility for the role you played in what happened.

A very defensive guy from an affluent family enraged the internet with his tale about how his girlfriend went hungry while on vacation

Image credits: David Vives (not the actual photo)

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: reddit

The backlash against the redditor was immense. So much so that they ended up deleting their account and nearly everyone on the AITA community was against the man. In short, at the core of everything lies the fact that the rich dude had all the information available to him—how much his girlfriend makes, what the activities were going to be—and he still managed to remain oblivious to his partner’s struggles.

It’s pretty safe to say that the relationship is on the edge of a knife, teetering on the brink, and it all comes down to the man’s stubbornly defensive approach that he supposedly didn’t do anything wrong because they “agreed” to split the costs 50/50. This sort of defensiveness, among other things, is toxic to a relationship.

ADVERTISEMENT

Relationship coach Alex Scot highlighted to Bored Panda that the solution to being overly defensive is acknowledging the role that you played in everything. “The antidote for defensiveness is to take responsibility for your part,” she said.

“We’ve all heard the saying, ‘It takes two to tango,’ and when it comes to conflict arising within a relationship, that phrase still rings true. When we can take ownership of the part we contributed to a problem, our partner feels heard and understood which allows the discussion for a solution to take place. Without it, tensions rise, talking becomes yelling, and conflicts are left unresolved only to reappear once again,” the relationship expert told Bored Panda.

Here’s what some redditors had to say about the entire situation. There wasn’t much sympathy for the guy

ADVERTISEMENT
Share on Facebook
You May Like
Popular on Bored Panda
Join the conversation
Add photo comments
POST
paulina_prazmo avatar
Paulina Prazmo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m speechless, what a d**k. He could hear her stomach rumbling and yet he let her to be hungry.

sarahc_1 avatar
Sarah C
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Left her to be hungry and left her alone while they were out having a great time. What a literal twat he is.

Load More Replies...
juliajuhas avatar
JuJu
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Him and his whole bloody family rubbed their money in her face without considering that she simply doesn't have the money to spend like that. I would be so ashamed of my family if I was him (and of myself). Either you plan for the lower budget or you pay the gap when you insist on luxurious trips.

suitemsewing avatar
Megan Pippenger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet he and his family are the kind of well-off where they have been living this way for so long that they've genuinely forgotten that most people can't afford this kind of lifestyle. I'm not saying that excuses their behavior, though. I just think they weren't trying to rub anything in her face; I think they just genuinely were that privileged and ignorant that it never even occurred to them that someone who only made $45k a year and had to take on a second job to even be able to go was someone who was not going to be able to afford what they could. I just think of Lucille Bluth in Arrested Development, "It's one banana, Michael, what could it cost, ten dollars?" And the son is the worst of all because they were together for TWO YEARS, and it never occurred to him that it is wildly unfair to split things 50/50 when his girlfriend makes a third of what he does. In the whole two years. They're privileged to the point of being stupid.

Load More Replies...
feckerkehoe avatar
Iggy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a complete bell end! The poor woman needs to find a better boyfriend. 50-50 works if both earn the same. If one partner earns considerably less, proportion might work better.

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. Its not about equality its about equity. If one of them makes much more the balance should be 80-20 or 60-40 or whatever needs to be. I always felt terrible for not being able to pay 50-50 but I needed to learn that this is not how a good relation works. If I am doing minimum wage jobs (or I cant work due to illness like now) and my partner has a well paid job he needs to pay more. Its just the fair thing to do. It would be the same if the roles were reversed

Load More Replies...
samlomb avatar
chelsea_corkum avatar
Chelsea Corkum
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Right? How do you make long term goals and plans in a relationship like this? I cant see how it would work when it came time to purchase a house, or make decisions about children?

Load More Replies...
dariazotova avatar
Daria Z
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy is very self-focused. Did he really think it's okay to leave her and go have fun knowing plain well she couldn't afford it? Ugh...

meghanhibicke avatar
Evil Little Thing
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just want to point out that the OP isn't the only asshole here - his family sucks too. My parents would never allow split checks at a meal, especially an expensive one! If I want to pay I have to fight them for it, and nobody would ever dream of expecting my girlfriend to pay when we are all out together, even just for her own food. (When it's just the two of us we take turns). The same is true for her family. They would never allow me to pay for dinner in their company.

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree. My parents barely let my partner pay for anything when they meet. He has invited them like once for dinner but most of the time they insist on paying.

Load More Replies...
jihankim avatar
Jihan Kim
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

could have been innocent ignorance by affluence... but the fact that he knew that she was working extra to cover the cost? what an ahole..

hazelree avatar
Stille20
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't get when people post stories like these. She took a second job to pay for the vacation.... who would let their SO do that? This hardly seems real.

nicsoderman avatar
Nic Soderman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly! When he SHOULD have gone "Don't worry, I got this. Let's just enjoy ourselves." Sheesh...

Load More Replies...
onemessylady avatar
Aunt Messy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She needs to DTMFA. What kind of sick SOB lets his girlfriend - who he's supposed to "love" go hungry? He comes by it honestly - his parents are assholes, too, if they saw someone going hungry and chose to do nothing about it. ...///... He's WAY beyond being an asshole. He's an abusive little bat's turd and she needs to RUN away from him.

ingapaskeviciute avatar
Inga Paškevičiūtė
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you're dating, things will never be 50/50, because it's never going to be completely fair. Honestly, she might feel too humiliated to be with you because all she will remember is how poor she is compared to you and your family.

sonohrin avatar
Diana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Finally someone who is actually the Asshole. I feel so bad for the girlfriend tbh, she made a huge sacrifice to be with him on this trip and was embarrased by the boyfriend and his family, he has the money to treat her to food, he also had the option to be with his girl instead of leaving her alone. The whole family are so tone deaf too, they could perfectly go to somewhere cheaper so that the girlfriend can also enjoy herself and not be embarrased because she can't afford it

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

More than that, they could’ve just treated her fro the get-go, instead of being so incredibly obtuse, or merely cruel and insensitive. If it’d be hard for her to accept the treat, then do it in a way where she wouldn’t realize it. First, why TF did he tell her the cost of everything, which would only stress her out? He could’ve just made the whole f*****g trip a gift (like, from his parents—-then just pay them for both their parts and tell them to keep their mouths shut about it). At the very least, he could’ve given her gift certificates for stuff he had to know she can’t afford, like all the expensive activities, and spaced it out for all the holidays in the year leading up to it, so it wouldn’t seem so obviously condescending. Hell, 2 gift certificates for her birthday, 2 more for their dating anniversary, and the last 2 for Christmas would’ve covered all 6, and left her enough money (remember, she paid for 3 activities) to eat.

Load More Replies...
iblowsheep avatar
iblowsheep
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what a douche waffle, and his parents apparently are in the same clueless boat, so that explains a bit.

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agree about the parents. Proof positive that the douche doesn’t fall too far from the bag.

Load More Replies...
leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The big hint he was the a-hole was when she TOOK A SECOND JOB to afford her "share". I pray they don't marry, b/c he'll never "get it" by the sound of things...

joereaves avatar
donotreplytokjk avatar
Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I turned down a dream trip to Italy, rather than find myself in that situation. I mean, I make decent money, and a friend invited me to go on an "eating tour" of Italy... but they're rich and I really can't afford to travel in that style or split checks with that crowd.

lindastorm2000 avatar
Linda HS
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You garbage! You piece of s**t, human garbage! You deserve all the karma to come back to you! Asshole!

saragregory0508 avatar
N G
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

KITTENS (you need them more than me!) : https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftenor.com%2Fsearch%2Fkitten-gifs&psig=AOvVaw3FPJklHNUX2Pz5soeGs15z&ust=1625078443599000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAoQjRxqFwoTCNC84Iy_vfECFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD

Load More Replies...
ificouldiwouldliveunderwater avatar
I wish I could live in the ocean
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish I could read his answer to all those comments... They at least should make him think a little

saragregory0508 avatar
N G
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No you don't. Here's one of his replies: "This is the first comment that's helped me realize that deep down I think she's not good enough for me and I do not want to give her more. I've felt this way for a little while but wasn't sure where the feeling came from. According to you all, she probably deserves better. So I'm sure we'll be breaking up shortly". AH, AH, AH! (I'm off to look at kitten pictures til I feel better)

Load More Replies...
emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't even have to read this to say YTA. When you invite someone to go on a trip with you, especially when you know they make half of what you do, you need to understand there are some expenses you will be covering like, if anything else, the tickets and the hotel. That way, your guest (which is what she was) can enjoy herself too. This kind of thing is a play on control and superiority by making the other person feel insignificant. Not sure what he was trying to accomplish unless it was to show his girlfriend that she'd be better off with someone else. Money doesn't make you a decent person. Run for the hills GF. He and his family are not worth it. And for him, I wish nothing but an expensive divorce in his future where his SO takes him for half of everything plus child support. It's the least he deserves.

deborah_chapman avatar
Deborah Chapman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who came up with this 50-50 deal? You?? If you didn't know initially that she made just enough to live modestly, you should have stepped up when you figured it out and started paying for everything. Decent men would have. Spoiled boys, not so much. Could you not find a nice, loving, giving girl in your own wealthy class?? Probably not... people who are teachers who make modest wages, love helping others. Those who teach young children are in a class by themselves. I hoped she dumped your stupid ass and found a man who was worthy of her. When I was young and fetching, I did not like dating rich men. They tried to buy you. Believe me, those who marry for money will earn every penny of it.

jencook avatar
JennyLaRue
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm all for independence, but long term would he just be sitting on all his cash while his partner is financially stretched and struggling? Surely one of the nice things about doing well is being able to treat those that you love. Poor girl, she must've been so stressed when she got there and realised how much meals were costing. The guy is a douche for not picking up on the situation from the point that she needed to take a second job so that she could join the holiday.

dons avatar
kayblue avatar
Kay blue
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even with all the comments this jerk is getting, he will never understand how he made his gf feel until he experiences financial hardship. His gf did everything she possibly could in order to join him on this holiday and he didn't once think about the sacrifices she made. Having to take a second job should have been enough to clue him in, but it seems like he is either oblivious or just doesn't care.

donotreplytokjk avatar
Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I knew a guy like this. He was so traumatized by losing "his" money in a divorce that he spent his inter-marriage years making all his girlfriends pay 50/50 for everything, even though he made a lot more money than they did. AND he'd use his money to impress women and deliberately create economically unequal relationships, and spend their time together making her "prove" she wasn't after his money, by spending money she couldn't afford on their time together.

lizzlor avatar
Lizz Lor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow...when I was 21 I had a college roommate who's parents were wealthy and they knew I wasn't and that I worked to out myself through school....they invited me out to dinners, movies, day trips to Chicago, etc. And her parents ALWAYS covered my meals when we ate out as a group or admission to events they invited me to...I was always ready to pay but they just did it without hesitation...and I barely knew them. This guy has dated her for 2 years and can't even pick up the check once in awhile 🙄

kjorn avatar
kjorn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when i start going out with my girlfriend she didn't work at that time and i do. i didn't have to question myself. of course i'd pay since she couldn't. i hope this would be an eye opener for him.

sarahbennett avatar
sarah bennett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This sounds like a conditional relationship where even if he was cognizant of her financial needs and picked up what she couldn't afford, he'd expect some payback in return. I suspect he deleted the post not only from humiliation, but also from the fact that the mirror was put up to his face. His ignorance was toxic and emotionally abusive. I really hope she leaves him because it is very clear it is not a match.

nukkasihti avatar
Asswipe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you invite someone, especially if it is your SO to a luxury vacation you should be prepared to back them up financially if they aren't making even close to your figures. This guy is a good example why hard core capitalism induces high income difference.

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And high level lack of empathy. Plus utter indifference for, and insensitivity to, the struggles of others.

Load More Replies...
stephenharris_1 avatar
Stemarris
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YTA. When my partner (now husband) and I agreed to move together and start "mixing finances", the best piece of advice we got was that everything you buy/do/eat/pay together should be based on what percent you are contributing to the household. In the beginning I was making about 60k and he was making about 20k, combined we were making around 80k. Since I was making 60k I paid 3/4 cost of rent, bills, food, etc. He was paying 1/4 of everything. Now some 18 years later, he makes 3 times my salary and I pay about 25% of everything and he covers the other 75%. Every tax season when we would file taxes we would reassess what percentage we each we contributing based on our salaries. It was fair that way. Assuming she would pay the same as you, 50/50, yeah you the ass.

jlawlor avatar
Jackie Walters
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a senior citizen, I had to research YTA.That said, couldn't agree more!!! Big jerk!

macmook avatar
Alexander Neil
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even asking AITA reeks of seeking allies. YTA 10 times over. There should be an award for such a$$holery.

veraxtactus avatar
Pamda Panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This thread and these comments make me feel so good. My ex used to insist on 50/50 split and our salaries were pretty comparable to the OP. Letting my current partner pay for dinner sometimes or pay for most of the groceries or for all of our Airbnb on vacation was really hard for me to adjust to/accept. Hearing everyone say OP is the ass and that fair is based on proportion is actually really cathartic.

williamsg9 avatar
im_so_bored13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YTA. You know she did not earn as much as you, but expected her to pay for thing way out of her budget. You then acted surprised when seemingly broke down saying that she couldn't afford the things you know she couldn't.

immeelooby avatar
Looby
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What an absolutele c***womble!!! That poor girl must have been so miserable and uncomfortable on the trip... just want to give her a hug.

manuelamartins avatar
Manuela Martins
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, boy. You are too dumb to be even considered an a**hole, but while we are at it, let's go with massive, insensitive idiot. It is hard to believe that you make good money in your job cause you seem to have a huge vacuum between your ears, bro. A person who earns 5000 cannot expect from someone who earns 2500 to contribute exactly the same percentage. You contribute only the percentage you can afford according to your possibilities, never 50/50. Maybe 70/30 or 80/20. I mean, she is (was?) your girlfriend, ffs, not a random hook up.

isabellagalluzzo19 avatar
Bella, Your Kitty-Loving Queen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please please please, I am begging you dump this guy’s ass. He doesn’t deserve you, please dump him and hopefully find someone better.

oneeyepuppy avatar
OneEyePuppy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A good partner would have picked up on the disparity and helped out. If not, have fun within his/her means.

noneanon avatar
Random Anon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If financial equality is important in the relationship then ask yourself 2 things if you're the one making more. Are you willing to scale down your lifestyle in order to match the income of your partner? And, are you willing to subsidize your partner so you both can live the way you want to? Be honest about it. Equality does not work in ideals.

danielshadowdrakken avatar
Daniel (ShadowDrakken)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anytime I've been in a relationship with someone who has exceptionally different pay than I do, an Excel spreadsheet gets made to help with the math. On expenses that have a fixed cost (cellphone, cable TV, etc) we split 50/50, but only if we both agree that we want that service (eg. I don't watch Hulu, partner does, that becomes their expense). On expenses that go up with affluence (rent) we split according to our means (80/20, 60/40, whatever), and on non-shared expenses (individual subscriptions, self care, etc) we take care of our own stuff. On top of that, the higher paid person often just does nice things for the other person just because it's nice (dinner out, spa days, etc). Haven't been in a position to do vacations yet but this year I finally am, and after discussing it I'm going to eat those costs because it doesn't affect me hardly at all, but it would bankrupt my partner. So the person who makes less isn't overburdened and can still build savings, have mad money, etc.

saicohipe avatar
Saico Hipe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Christ, what I wouldn't give to make $45,000 a year. Her boyfriend makes per year what I make in 5 or 6.

johnbaker avatar
John Baker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm skeptical. The whole thing reads like a troll to me. That being said, what dickhead invites his girlfriend - not a buddy, but his **girlfriend** - on a vacation and expects her to pay *any* part of it? That's not how it's done where I was raised.

jadewilliamson89 avatar
Jade Lynn - Panda's Brat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He left her being hungry and asked her if she had an eating disorder? How clueless is this guy. She worked so hard to go on this trip that HE invited her on!

alediaz avatar
Ale Díaz
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, i hope never have a partner like him. It's ok split everything 50/50 when both earn the same, but clearly he knows she can afford those things and refuses to help her.

master_minds9 avatar
denzoren
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine being with someone for two years and they're this daft. Geez dude, is she your girlfriend, someone who you cherish and care about, or just someone on your arm...from your strict 50/50 rule...even when you clearly knew she was hungry...tells me the later. This is beyond insensitive. You all planned a vacation, knowing her salary, and still chose to do the "expensive" stuff...well then you need to supplement what she'll have to spend or take a cheaper vacation. Also....two years....150k a year...have you taken her on a vacation alone? Or was that because she couldn't afford that either? I hope you find a rich woman who can "match" your expectations. For her, I really hope she gets out of this toxicity and finds someone who will pay attention to her and care about her.

veni_vidi_vicky avatar
viviane_katz avatar
Viviane
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone looked at his responses: all he learned is that he doesn't want to give her more and she's "not good enough" for him. I hope he'll end up with someone just as awful as himself - pair two awful people and that keeps them away from decent potential partners.

Load More Replies...
nikoniko avatar
NIko Niko
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am speechless that this guy needs to ask the net if his behaviour was appropriate or not.

belandriel avatar
Belandriel
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First of all I find it sad that teachers earn so little money... That alone is pretty f****d up already. The work of an IT guy is ridiculously unimportant in comparison to educate little humans for the future. And if you like I will repeat that: Yes, it is ridiculously unimportant in comparison! And then I wonder how d***s like this always have girlfriends, who literally rip their asses up for their guys. I think that there must also somehow be a connection why decent guys more often don't have gfs.

poppycorn avatar
Nikole
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh. Reminds me of my ex. He made over twice what I did and would complain when I couldn't afford to do the things he wanted to do. Of course he always paid exactly half, unless it was my birthday or something. Ass.

erosa1224 avatar
Orionpax75
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy is a f'n dickhead!! And I hope she left his dumb ass when she got back!! WTF!! If she's your lady treat her to a vacation treat to a meal what type of men do this s**t??!!

zoolu2cool avatar
Jessica
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The idiot honestly thought it was an eating disorder before recognizing she could not afford to eat, and then had to audacity to cite his rationality like she signed an iron-clad contract and should know better. He knew her income what did he think would happen she would not pay rent for a year so she could participate in this vacation? I have no idea how you can be so self absorbed. I highly doubt he gave her an estimate of costs. There is no way to factor in costs when your making that much less than everyone else on the trip, and they budget completely different than you do. Where as most in her income bracket would look at ways to cut cost they were looking at ways to increase the luxury of the experience. Like the average person knows what a fancy restaurant in foreign country will run them? Woman needs to leave him like yesterday!

jlindsay avatar
J Charby
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What an entitled jerk.... Money really does speak loudly to those types of people

rweaver-boredpanda avatar
Johnny
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How do you take your girlfriend on an expensive vacation and not know it was beyond her means? When my wife and I were dating, I made much more money than she did - I paid for most of our vacations (airfare, hotels, etc), she picked up meals and other things that were more in her price range. We discussed the plans ahead of time and made sure it was afforable for both of us. If she said she needed to take a second job to pay for it, I either would have scaled back or covered more of her share - working 2 jobs just to afford vacation is ludicrous, much better to go on a less expensive vacation, or even no vacation at all than to have to work a 2nd job.

gregalt avatar
greg alt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I couldn't even read half of the article before I made my decision. Nothing wrong with splitting things 50/50 and each being self dependent. But there's also nothing wrong with being a gentleman. Which this man nor any man in his family could ever be considered gentleman. The fact that he has to question any of his actions during this vacation means he's unable to comprehend what being a gentleman even is. Hopefully she wises up. He can't even take care of his girl friend with the amount of money he makes. Who in the world would even conceive the possibility that he could potentially ever care for even a child... Or a dog... He'd probably tell his infant child to pay 50/50 or starve. POS.

dontlook avatar
Don't Look
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There’s a level of dense here that … what on earth? Maybe these two are completely not right for each other.

tinapotter avatar
Serbob
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband makes more money than I. We do split the bills 50/50, but when it comes to restaurants it's always been the one who picks the restaurant pays. If this guy is choosing where they go and what they eat that should be on him. If they agreed to 50/50 and she is okay with that then he has to go somewhere affordable for her and not go without her and let her starve. Listening to how his family reacted it's no wonder he's an oblivious twat. He was raised poorly.

verydarkmatter avatar
VeryDarkMatter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't date stupid. Poor girl. I hope she woke up now and isn't heart broken. This guy is not worth her time. Nor is her family who cant put 1 +1 together.

yungkeylo_1 avatar
Keyy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what i can't understand is what man making 6 figures makes his woman pay for anything ? like forreal dude what kind of man is this guy

k_anderson avatar
K. Anderson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

50/50 is fair is both people make the same money amount of money & have similar bills. If SO has a child to take care of & you don’t gone make them pay as much or adjust you plans/expectations

auroradarc avatar
Pangolin Pal
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, I just hope this betrayed, humiliated, hungry GF will DTFAA (Dump The F**king A**hole Already!)

zora24_1 avatar
Trillian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How did he "invite" her if she was expected to pay everything for herself? Plus she mentioned she is on a budget, so how clueless can you be?

sweetangelce04 avatar
CatWoman312
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How can someone be this big of a clueless jerk?? My husband makes more than me only bc I have some debt and he usually picks up the slack no questions asked. 50/50 only applies if everyone is equal in the relationship. He makes 3x what she makes. Smh. He’ll be single soon

tbrittingham99 avatar
it's me again
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The commenters above are being extremely kind in letting him know what a complete ass he and his family are.

willemsen avatar
Meami
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't believe this guy even had to ask if he was the asshole. He's stupid AND a jerk. That girl needs to run!!!

nicsoderman avatar
Nic Soderman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I say he should be f*****g grateful that she even agreed on splitting everything 50/50, she shows she's not in it for the money. That means that when you go on trips and holidays HE should be paying for any luxuries HE knows she can't afford. If he's so blind to that, she's better off without him. I know I'd pay for most things if I made almost four times the money my wife makes. Easy. What a f*****g douche.

coolahwinooka avatar
Lesley Byfield-Papworth
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

all the other comments aside.....you and your family are arrogant, pretentious, unkind and ignorant. There is no excusing your behaviour you treated her so very badly and your ridiculous question is an insult to decent people.......you sir are a whiner and Im thinking you will not make a successful life for yourself.....you are shallow

gmadams avatar
Blackheart
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been married over 20 yrs. At one point spouse made more than me. Now it is the other way around. At no point has it been an issue, not even when we dated. This guy frankly sounds self centered to the point he cannot see someone else's difficulty. She would do well to move on. AND what kind of world is it that a teacher only makes 1/3 an IT guy? I bet you she has more education, maybe even a grad degree. Priorities.

christiemcdermid avatar
Christie McDermid
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh aye. Leave your starving GF to her tummy rumbles and not even pay her way? You should have paid her full trip you d**k. You know she earns much less than you (criminally so for a teacher - bloody US). Does generosity not exist in your vocabulary?

billygoat_bonkers avatar
Billy Gonkenstein
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The guy should be ashamed of himself for being so thick and unable to understand what his girlfriend is going through. If he was a thoughtful gentleman he would have taken on all the bills on himself without even giving it a thought. How an anyone be so heartless and not even realize it.

booksfeedthemind avatar
Donna Leske
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So sad. I'm hoping once they got home from the fiasco of a vacation she told him "it's not working out, I'm not happy". I'm picturing once the 3 of them left for dinner (without her) she maybe rushed out to a market and bought lunchmeat, crackers and fruit = for $9.00 as she knew they were going somewhere a dinner would be $32.00 minimum each. So sad.

rachelmcferren_1 avatar
Rachel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does anyone getting the feeling that he is also bragging in his post? What a complete d**k.

mm_9 avatar
M M
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe he is Dutch or simply doesn't have empathy in his hardware*_*

mertltimo avatar
Mertimo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a similar situation a few years ago when me and my husband were only dating. He was software engineer with a great salary, and I was still a university student, living in a dorm, working as a language teacher to make ends meet. We also did 50-50% when we paid for stuff (not strictly, but it was always like "I pay this time, you pay next time"). His family is pretty rich and one summer invited me to an expensive trip abroad, which I couldn't afford, but they were so cool about it! They told me that they know I'm still a student, so they didn't allow me to pay for anything, even when I told them I'd be happy to pay for some stuff. And that's the way it should be, they shouldn't expect the poor girl to pay for everything when they knew she couldn't afford it... Either plan a cheaper holiday or help her out with some of the costs.

anotherlittlething avatar
Jill Pulcifer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, just wow. I hope she can see him for the selfish A**hole he is after he sat there listening to her stomach growl and then accused her of having an eating disorder. What an absolute garbage fire of a human being, she deserves way better than him.

moneymaker52 avatar
Bee the Dubya
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If 2 people are in a loving, committed relationship for over TWO YEARS there is NO SPLITTING THE BILL on anything when it comes to going out to dinner or the movies, etc. He has more disposable income than she does so he should be paying 100%. Plus, he INVITED her to come on vacation. When one extends an invitation, they pay the costs for the guest, 100%. He's an idiot and he probably learned that behavior from his parents. She is a better human being than he is witness the fact that she worked 2 jobs to save enough money to be able to "afford" the vacation with him and his family. I hope she leaves him asap. She deserves better.

jean-jacqueschen avatar
Jean-Jacques Chen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That guy made 3 times more than her, but she was worth 3 times more than him and his entire douchebag family. Yet another sad example that the richer you get, the more oblivious you are to real life's and real people's struggles.

mcborge1 avatar
mcborge1
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Generosity sure runs thin with this douche and his family, as does empathy it seems. I hope this lady dumps his clueless a** and finds someone better.

lcaputony avatar
Ella Blackwood
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I were her, I would dump his stingy, clueless ass so fast it would make his head spin. Ugh! What an awful person!

hjdashiell avatar
Paradise
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The man and his family are both morons. Financially very similar family -husband software engineer and makes a little more than he does, I am childcare and make less tha she does. We are flipped from this guy -My parents have money, his not as much-but they are not poor. My parents always pay for guests, as do I. His parents did not pay for me on the couple (10 dollar) meals out we had done, just husband so I said either we pay for ourselves or they pay both, I was offended. But we, husband and I, dont have financial issues. We started out 50/50 but then it became "our" money so we know what is in our means. That, and husband is not an oblivious jerk.

daniel-underwood97 avatar
COLA
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Rich people don't have empathy. I said what I said lol

benicia_99 avatar
Azure Adams
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Major YTA!!! I hope she dumps you hard and fast! How stupid are you? Seriously how f*****g stupid is this dumbass?? You are not partners. You are a selfish d**k! And will soon be very single!

katie-trondsen avatar
KT
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jesus what a jack ass. Two years together and you let her starve then go around thinking she has an eating disorder? Pathetic excuse for a man.

williescreek avatar
Katie Morris
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What an absolute moron of a person feeling very sad for this girl :( a similar thing happened to me in Bali with my ex Bf and his family , who were all finance consultants, ships captains , dentist and so on ..... they all choose to go to the most expensive restaurants, stay at the most expensive resorts , go on the most expensive tours .... in the end I walked around enjoying Bali for myself.

twinkerbell26 avatar
Mumchkin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As much as I'm angered at the BF, I'm also angry at his parents, and his brother and sister-in-law too. How could any of them sit by while this woman is going hungry once a day, or staying alone for half the time while they're all off having a great time. When my husband and I were dating, if I tried to pay for a meal myself or tickets into a place, his Dad would stop me. My money was for souvenirs.

evilinakoo avatar
EvilK
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've seen some (hidden) comments here claiming that if the woman was the one making more money and demanding going 50-50, no one would disagree. Pretty much no one is expecting him to pay for her and obviously neither did she since she took an extra god damn job to pay for the vacation. But when you go 50-50 it means that both parties can afford it. I would NEVER ask my SO or a friend to go to a dinner, let alone vacation with me, and ask to go 50-50 if _I_ wanted to spend more than the other one could afford. If I feel the need to have a fancy dinner and I wanted my SO or a friend to join me, I would gladly pay for them if they could not afford it. How the hell can anyone enjoy their time if someone they care for is struggling? You either pay for them, or you do something else that they can afford to do with you. You go to a McDonald's if that's what it takes. And if the one with more money can't do that, then YfuckingES they are the asshole.

nicoleblom avatar
Nicole Blomkamp
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Plus her job is way more important than his yet she gets paid a pittance. Teachers are hideously underpaid. I dare this asshole to spend ONE day in a day care centre or with a class of teenagers.

heathervance avatar
AzKhaleesi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. He makes three times her amount and they do 50/50 this poor girl needs to run. This guy is a POS. All he cares about is money and same with his family. If I were her parents I would've paid for her trip. TWO jobs just to go on vacation? that's some s**t where BOTH people make 45k a year would do, not one fam rich and one person barely getting by. un believable.

rebecca_l_shave avatar
Becky Bec
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet he suggested the 50/50 split…imbecile. Kick him to the kerb abs find someone who treats you with consideration

msmom avatar
Ms Mom
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I were his mother I would be ashamed to have raised such a heartless child. What kind of loving partner knows their SO is hungry... and just lets them starve? I have a hard time believing ANYONE could be so clueless as to KNOW someone they care about is going hungry and not having fun and then NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! Also, if he makes 3x more than her then he should be paying 75/25 not 50/50. They don't make the same income, so they shouldn't be splitting it down the middle!

asaabsfables avatar
Amy Begun Saab
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a clues mean jerk! An idiot. Doesn't he know his parent paid for everything while grew up? His parents paid for everything to get his jerk self to were he is. They did it because of love. He doesn't know what love is because everything has been given to him. He is completely worthless. He may have money, but as a human being, he is worthless. She needs to walk away. Maybe she's staying because he will marry her & then take care of her. She's wrong, if he doesn't take care of her now, he never will. YTA 100% and all the men and women out there dating people for money. You need to change your SO

celeryg avatar
celery g
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

she is not the brightest, either. I wouldn't have worked two jobs to save for a vacation, how dumb is that!

shrutipatel avatar
Shruti Patel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why split 50/50 do you both earn equal? Split as per both of your income. Or I would rather say if you love her n want her to be with you then plan what she can afford with dignity .she seems to be a proper woman who agrees to 50 50 otherwise you can find so many gold diggers who will be ready to feed off on your money.

553048f4b200a avatar
Jim Bishop
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looking at the comments from women, and looking back at life, I wonder how reversing the genders would change attitudes. My opinion is that the woman knew full well that the trip was expensive, otherwise why the second job? As the 50/50 agreement was not modified, it stood. Thus, she got what she bargained for. They're not married. He's not supporting her. I have not information to indicate that a female would have taken a different view of the situation. 50/50 is 50/50 unless renegotiated.

cashanderson avatar
Buzz Anderson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YEP he was the asshole Knew right up front she was having $$ trouble and didn't do a f*****g thing about. She should not have had to pay for a damned thing. SHE should dump his stingy as hell ass. AND make sure word gets around what a f*****g asshole. To make her skip meals F**K HIM. Hope his d**k falls off.

nasiomnc avatar
Collette Moisan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am disgusted by this BF! My new boyfriend had talked me into taking scuba diving lessons, which I paid for, but then HE FULLY PAID for a trip to Bonaire for scuba diving, plus he bought me scuba gear! This girls BF is a total moron! By the way, I have been together with this wonderful man for about 15 years now!

robyoungberg avatar
McWiggins
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet he learned his lesson, so I don't want to pile on too much, but...well, here I go, piling on. They've been together for 2 years and are still splitting things 50/50? They all went out to dinner with his affluent parents and they split the check, instead of the parents paying for their children and significant others? It took the guy until after the trip had ended to realize something was wrong, and even then he didn't guess it correctly? Maybe some of that feels normal for other people, but it feels foreign to me. True that they have always had the agreement to split things 50/50, but taking a second job to come with... he seems obtuse, like one commenter said. Maybe this is the first time something like this has ever come up, where they go and do something far more expensive than they've ever done in their relationship.

denisemclean avatar
Denise Mclean
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think you should have paid for everything, I can't believe you would be so hateful, mean and cheap. You should be ashamed of yourself. You don't deserve her. You will likely be alone forever.

dodsonmichelle avatar
Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF? You make 3x her income and you're wondering if YTA? You treat her & figure out finances later. You are SO the asshole & I hope she dumps you for someone who has some semblance of reality.

kim_lorton avatar
Kim Lorton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope the hell she dumps your nasty entitled ass! You are the biggest butt wipe I have heard about here! You, just chose to ignore everything but what you wanted, and if you share all the costs while dating for two years? Well, I hate to tell you, that’s not dating. That is a low, down dirty cheap way to treat a supposed girlfriend! I hope she meets someone who treats her better than you ever did! You do not and never have, deserved her. So you, are the biggest Butt, ever. And, I blame your parents for how you turned out. They must be just like you!

fred_buettner_sr_ avatar
Fred Buettner Sr.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you are even close to serious you would have been aware of her getting a second job so she could afford to even go. She probably felt bad about the vacation in the first place. Knowing her financial situation about the money you should have offered to pay for her from the beginning. Prior to going, she got a second job so she could even go. You know the cost of things your family likes to do. You heard her stomach grumbling and asked way after the fact. You should be ashamed of yourself. She deserves far better.

idan avatar
Idan York
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know she loves him for whatever reason, but he definitely doesn't deserve such a selfless woman. What a clueless jerk he is. I would never ask someone I was dating to pay for anything we do together.

macforme17 avatar
Lindy Mac
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That guy got roasted and deservedly so. I hope she finds a guy who is more attentive and aware of what is going on around him. Thing is... if they had gone to some beach and all sat around having a barBQ, talking and telling jokes, would have been more fun for all than going to a posh restaurant that costs $100+ a person. Um... speaking for myself.

lynnnoyes avatar
elfin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are wrong, but your girlfriend is even wronger for not ditching you the day after you met and finding someone better. As for the 50/50 agreement, a really nice person would have made an exception and taken care of the person he supposedly cares about.

chrisdifonso avatar
Chris DiFonso
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He (OP) might have a lot of money, yet very little (if any) class. The girlfriend should dump him.

billmarsano avatar
bill marsano
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have to ASK? Your supernova A status should have been perfectly obvious. As someone once perfectly put iy, "Only God could put such a big A on such a small man.

nikisan01 avatar
Niki Davis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It should have been clear from the time she had to take a 2nd job to be able to go. His pleading ignorance to what was going on is a joke. Not much of a boyfriend if you ask me. I usually pay my own way but (in my circle) we always are clear on who is paying for what to avoid exactly this kind of thing.

kjl01 avatar
Karen Lyon
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was on another social media site when a conversation about this behavior came up, and someone shared the article I linked below. It seems that having an "affluent lifestyle" really does effect one's ability to be sympathetic and empathetic toward others. After reading it, I decided I will stick to my paycheck-to-paycheck life and just accept the fact that my decor is Early Goodwill. I've seen someone go from being a decent human being to a selfish "affluent" bitch who can take expensive vacations, but is completely cut off from her own children and grandchildren. My life is better. (The part in this article where the people who are financially better off take candy meant for children, when they could buy their own damn candy, just makes me gag.) https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-wealth-reduces-compassion/

jtmarie64 avatar
Jill Tremblay
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

something tells me that no matter how many times all this is said, He probably won't get it anyway....

etnarudotrebor avatar
Roberto Durante
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know some people like this jerk, they are so poor they only possess money. My free advice , girl dump this moron.

nalasimba avatar
nala simba
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This poor excuse of a being should be put in stocks and have excrement hurled at him. (What? No stocks these days? Ah, well.) Surprised he didn't shame the poor girl by divulging her name! Mind you she's not very bright either putting up with The Jerks & Son! You wouldn't have seen me for dust!

pemfranz avatar
Perry Edward Matthew Franz
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That young man has a lot…a LOT…of growing up to do. And, yes, dude, YASTTA.

justprayagain avatar
Black Karen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was dating my (now) husband he NEVER made me pay for anything. He gladly gave me all his worldly posessions, no questions asked, didnt matter if I didnt need it, could buy it myself, or already had it. Some guys are just selfless sweethearts and some a selfish jerks. Hope she dumps this zero and finds a hero.

justprayagain avatar
Black Karen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I cant imagine that someone like this would have any likeable qualities at all to be dating him for two years. She sounds way too pure for this asshole. She needs to come to Black Karen's How to Dump Assholes Class.

lynmoffett avatar
Lyn Moffett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The whole family are assholes especially as it seemed none of them had any empathy for the girl. God forgive me but I hope you all learn a hard lesson someday. Spoilt privileged me me me types like you sicken me. Yes I know you work for your money bat that does NOT give you or your family the right to be so fkn oblivious to another persons struggle, no, I'm afraid YOU love the mighty dollar more than the girl you are with and she will be well rid of you

kkermes avatar
Kim Kermes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You knew the disparity of income. You had the responsibility to offer to cover 2/3 of the cost! You should spend a month what she makes. In a short term rental and a car rented by the momth.

stanflouride avatar
Stannous Flouride
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Usually these have at least one or two opposing views but this guy's behavior is so clearly indefensible that I doubt there was a single one.

kalebprichardmiraikuma avatar
Kaleb Prichard (MiraiKuma)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I say only 85% asshole. I can see myself on both sides. Being the one oblivous (I suck at reading people) and being the one trying to tough it out. I can see myself taking someone at their word at wanting a 50/50 split. She could have spoken up during it too. Granted I know she was probably embarrassed, but part of being an adult is speaking up when it embarrasses you.

kalebprichardmiraikuma avatar
Kaleb Prichard (MiraiKuma)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm gonna go with 85% asshole and 15% oblivious. I am not good at reading people at all. I am also the type or person who would pay for someone's whole vacation if I had the means to. But I'm also the type of person that means, "I got this" when I say I got this. So he should have realized it but then again, she should have just said, "I can't afford all this stuff, I'm gonna stay at home unless you can pay for me" I can completely see me in this situation doing the same thing on both sides. Communication is key to a relationship. So 85% ass hole.

zanoni608 avatar
Patti Vance
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

omg! most def the a-hole. not that i think that the guy should foot the bill for everything but after being together for 2 yrs you think he would have known that her financial status would take a hit, especially when she got the second job for the trip. my advice to him would be to have a little more insight to his gf's situation. to her, i would advise to get to steppin' as if he is this oblivious now it may only be worse later. tbh, the scenario of her delivering their child crossed my mind and i shuddered.

epectasis avatar
Jos Tiguidou
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's crazy how rich people can be so f*****g disconnected from reality. If I made that much money, I'd sure as hell want to splurge on the people I love, especially when I know they make way less than me. Unless this girl was hoping to live the goldigger lifestyle, she better just scoot off before she gets ruined hanging with this cheap ass.

armsoftheocean avatar
Franc Esca
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most couples like to treat their partner to at least one vacation... so now because she wagered to 50/50 it's no "take backsies"? If I were her j would have left the resort and enjoyed the vacation elsewhere

shaynameidela avatar
Dorothy Parker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's been subsidising his life for two years! If anything, he should be paying two thirds of their expenses, and she the other third. His being so unconscious, and his family also so unaware, is appalling. He should be paying for vacations, expensive restaurants, etc. She's shown she cares for him and not his money.

miketayse avatar
Mike Tayse
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Golden rule should apply: treat others as you want to be treated.

victoriapitt avatar
Victoria Pitt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My boyfriend makes less money than me and you better believe he if heard my tummy rumbling he would run about and bring home the whole supermarket. And then cook me all my favorite dishes. I hope she dumps this guy. Honestly this sounds so dense I bet its just a troll fabricating a story but who knows.

matthewr avatar
Matthew R
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

krystalzombiegirladams avatar
ZombieGirl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This cant be real! He saw her taking on a second job just to be able to go on the trip, and said nothing! He saw that she wasn't going on half the excursions, and said nothing. He didn't even stay behind with her?! He saw her not eating and even heard her stomach growl and said nothing! He said nothing until they got home from the trip!? This cant be real! This man cant exist! I'm in shock lol!

algarebi2 avatar
Algarebi Moss
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that story is a lie, or she and he are too idiots. Nobody's stomach ache from eating 2 times a day, a lot of people do it all the time.And where were those vacations that there wasn't a supermarket nearby to buy a fruit or something affordable? And these very wealthy parents are so greedy that they could not invite a dinner? And of course the miserly boyfriend couldn't invite his girlfriend something and left her alone in the hotel while he scuba? really?

algarebi2 avatar
Algarebi Moss
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that story is a lie, or she and he are too idiots. Nobody's stomach ache from eating 2 times a day, a lot of people do it all the time.And where were those vacations that there wasn't a supermarket nearby to buy a fruit or something affordable? And those so rich parents were so greedy that they could’nt invite a dinner? And these very wealthy parents are so greedy that they could not invite a dinner? And of course the miserly boyfriend couldn't invite his girlfriend something and left her alone in the hotel while he scuba? really?

thomas_maertens avatar
Saint Thomas
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unpopular opinion, but I don't see him as an AH. He may be oblivious or naive, but he didn't put her in that position on purpose. They are a couple since 2 years, and they have always have an understanding with splitting 50/50. We lack a lot of context. Maybe most of the time they go to places more in the price range of the girl. The girl knows that him and his family are wealthier than her. She had to know that those holidays would cost more than their usual outings together. What I see is a lack of communication on both part that ended in this situation that was - we all agree - more unconfortable for the girl than for the guy. Also, even very nice and kind people with money don't always realise that their way of living is linked to their wealth. It doesn't excuse anything, but I don't want to be to quick to judge without knowing them, as so many do here in the comments. I knew a guy who made a lot of money, then had a drawback. He admitted he never realised how easier life is with a big income until he had to make do with 5 times less. And he is a clever and kind guy.

viviane_katz avatar
Viviane
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your guy is a decent human being with empathy. I know people from privileged backgrounds who've learned from those who had more difficult lives. They are genuinely nice people. Apparently, the AH is not. In the end, he concluded that he doesn't want to give her any financial help whatsoever and that he deserves better than someone who's struggling to keep up with him.

Load More Replies...
baritoneewart avatar
Salty Baritone
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While I’d pick up the tab, it just goes to show we still expect men to provide in a society where apparently the patriarchy has dominated everything. And before some twit tries the argument “if it weren’t for the patriarchy she’d make the same he does” male teachers also get paid the same. Should he have been more sensitive? Yes. Should she have spoken up? Also true. Both could have handled it better. Those thinking this was just on the dude, consider why…

dirt_in_my_veins avatar
Dio
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish I knew the outcome and whether the man learned from this. He may very well have been sheltered and naïve, but not malicious from his upbringing. It didn't sound like he intended to be a jerk. He just sounded very oblivious. I truly do hope he got that wake up call that he needed to be a better person.

fuhleeheece avatar
Felice Coles
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not with a family like that around him. That whole family needs to do some charity work to atone for their assholery.

Load More Replies...
malcolmjonessr87 avatar
Logically Thinking
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

He's not a ahole to me he did it right. Also women voted to be equal to men. Correct? They made a deal 50/50... if she was better with money management she wouldn't have been hungry or had the slightest feeling of embarrassment. Also if she knew how to talk to him about these things or simply persuading them (the family) to eat somewhere her wallet can afford and if not then she goes and eats solo. I'm in a relationship and I know to be alone and love myself for that. Meaning if my girl ain't got the money she can eat at home. See the plan is to build together not go broke for each other. And men in reality do this way to often lmao then we get mad when the divorce is settled with your now (ex wife) leaving you with no car no house no parent visits with your children and barely 1000 in your own bank to even attempt to start a new life. Oh yea and child support! With that being said I would let any woman go who's not on my level of success. Because if you don't match a woman's she won'

malcolmjonessr87 avatar
Logically Thinking
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Look your way.. a WOMAN WILL NOT BUILD A MAN UP TO FULL POTENTIAL OF HIS CAPABILITIES.... I BET A MAN WILL HELP SET A WOMAN UP FOR LIFE HER CHILDREN CHILDRENS CHILDREN AND SO ON.. ALL YOU GUYS SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF SIMPS.

Load More Replies...
edc_82 avatar
Lola
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I refuse to believe this is real. Someone is being pathetic and trying to get a reaction.

malcolmjonessr87 avatar
Logically Thinking
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

He's not a ahole to me he did it right. Also women voted to be equal to men. Correct? They made a deal 50/50... if she was better with money management she wouldn't have been hungry or had the slightest feeling of embarrassment. Also if she knew how to talk to him about these things or simply persuading them (the family) to eat somewhere her wallet can afford and if not then she goes and eats solo. I'm in a relationship and I know to be alone and love myself for that. Meaning if my girl ain't got the money she can eat at home. See the plan is to build together not go broke for each other. And men in reality do this way to often lmao then we get mad when the divorce is settled with your now (ex wife) leaving you with no car no house no parent visits with your children and barely 1000 in your own bank to even attempt to start a new life. Oh yea and child support! With that being said I would let any woman go who's not on my level of success.

degueb avatar
De Gueb
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I'll turn this around. If it was her with the money.... I know a case we're the wife, who was broke when she married, came in to some money a few years later and went on a cruise with her daughter and son in law living my friend at home because he business han gone south in the financial crisis and he couldn't afford to go. The general opinion was "go girl" no need to not have fun because your hubby's a looser.

demi_zwaan avatar
Demi Zwaan
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

That girl is an idiot. I can't believe she spend 2 years with him paying 50/50 when he makes 3 times as much as her and even takes a 2nd job to be able to go on holiday with him. It just screams fake to me and if it's not, that girl needs a psychiatrist to work on her self esteem issues. And dump him, of course.

james_fox1984 avatar
Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, out of your whole comment you pretty much blasted the girl. The guy is the asshole, he should be the one getting blasted.

Load More Replies...
paulina_prazmo avatar
Paulina Prazmo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m speechless, what a d**k. He could hear her stomach rumbling and yet he let her to be hungry.

sarahc_1 avatar
Sarah C
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Left her to be hungry and left her alone while they were out having a great time. What a literal twat he is.

Load More Replies...
juliajuhas avatar
JuJu
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Him and his whole bloody family rubbed their money in her face without considering that she simply doesn't have the money to spend like that. I would be so ashamed of my family if I was him (and of myself). Either you plan for the lower budget or you pay the gap when you insist on luxurious trips.

suitemsewing avatar
Megan Pippenger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet he and his family are the kind of well-off where they have been living this way for so long that they've genuinely forgotten that most people can't afford this kind of lifestyle. I'm not saying that excuses their behavior, though. I just think they weren't trying to rub anything in her face; I think they just genuinely were that privileged and ignorant that it never even occurred to them that someone who only made $45k a year and had to take on a second job to even be able to go was someone who was not going to be able to afford what they could. I just think of Lucille Bluth in Arrested Development, "It's one banana, Michael, what could it cost, ten dollars?" And the son is the worst of all because they were together for TWO YEARS, and it never occurred to him that it is wildly unfair to split things 50/50 when his girlfriend makes a third of what he does. In the whole two years. They're privileged to the point of being stupid.

Load More Replies...
feckerkehoe avatar
Iggy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a complete bell end! The poor woman needs to find a better boyfriend. 50-50 works if both earn the same. If one partner earns considerably less, proportion might work better.

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. Its not about equality its about equity. If one of them makes much more the balance should be 80-20 or 60-40 or whatever needs to be. I always felt terrible for not being able to pay 50-50 but I needed to learn that this is not how a good relation works. If I am doing minimum wage jobs (or I cant work due to illness like now) and my partner has a well paid job he needs to pay more. Its just the fair thing to do. It would be the same if the roles were reversed

Load More Replies...
samlomb avatar
chelsea_corkum avatar
Chelsea Corkum
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Right? How do you make long term goals and plans in a relationship like this? I cant see how it would work when it came time to purchase a house, or make decisions about children?

Load More Replies...
dariazotova avatar
Daria Z
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy is very self-focused. Did he really think it's okay to leave her and go have fun knowing plain well she couldn't afford it? Ugh...

meghanhibicke avatar
Evil Little Thing
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just want to point out that the OP isn't the only asshole here - his family sucks too. My parents would never allow split checks at a meal, especially an expensive one! If I want to pay I have to fight them for it, and nobody would ever dream of expecting my girlfriend to pay when we are all out together, even just for her own food. (When it's just the two of us we take turns). The same is true for her family. They would never allow me to pay for dinner in their company.

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree. My parents barely let my partner pay for anything when they meet. He has invited them like once for dinner but most of the time they insist on paying.

Load More Replies...
jihankim avatar
Jihan Kim
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

could have been innocent ignorance by affluence... but the fact that he knew that she was working extra to cover the cost? what an ahole..

hazelree avatar
Stille20
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't get when people post stories like these. She took a second job to pay for the vacation.... who would let their SO do that? This hardly seems real.

nicsoderman avatar
Nic Soderman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly! When he SHOULD have gone "Don't worry, I got this. Let's just enjoy ourselves." Sheesh...

Load More Replies...
onemessylady avatar
Aunt Messy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She needs to DTMFA. What kind of sick SOB lets his girlfriend - who he's supposed to "love" go hungry? He comes by it honestly - his parents are assholes, too, if they saw someone going hungry and chose to do nothing about it. ...///... He's WAY beyond being an asshole. He's an abusive little bat's turd and she needs to RUN away from him.

ingapaskeviciute avatar
Inga Paškevičiūtė
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you're dating, things will never be 50/50, because it's never going to be completely fair. Honestly, she might feel too humiliated to be with you because all she will remember is how poor she is compared to you and your family.

sonohrin avatar
Diana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Finally someone who is actually the Asshole. I feel so bad for the girlfriend tbh, she made a huge sacrifice to be with him on this trip and was embarrased by the boyfriend and his family, he has the money to treat her to food, he also had the option to be with his girl instead of leaving her alone. The whole family are so tone deaf too, they could perfectly go to somewhere cheaper so that the girlfriend can also enjoy herself and not be embarrased because she can't afford it

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

More than that, they could’ve just treated her fro the get-go, instead of being so incredibly obtuse, or merely cruel and insensitive. If it’d be hard for her to accept the treat, then do it in a way where she wouldn’t realize it. First, why TF did he tell her the cost of everything, which would only stress her out? He could’ve just made the whole f*****g trip a gift (like, from his parents—-then just pay them for both their parts and tell them to keep their mouths shut about it). At the very least, he could’ve given her gift certificates for stuff he had to know she can’t afford, like all the expensive activities, and spaced it out for all the holidays in the year leading up to it, so it wouldn’t seem so obviously condescending. Hell, 2 gift certificates for her birthday, 2 more for their dating anniversary, and the last 2 for Christmas would’ve covered all 6, and left her enough money (remember, she paid for 3 activities) to eat.

Load More Replies...
iblowsheep avatar
iblowsheep
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what a douche waffle, and his parents apparently are in the same clueless boat, so that explains a bit.

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agree about the parents. Proof positive that the douche doesn’t fall too far from the bag.

Load More Replies...
leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The big hint he was the a-hole was when she TOOK A SECOND JOB to afford her "share". I pray they don't marry, b/c he'll never "get it" by the sound of things...

joereaves avatar
donotreplytokjk avatar
Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I turned down a dream trip to Italy, rather than find myself in that situation. I mean, I make decent money, and a friend invited me to go on an "eating tour" of Italy... but they're rich and I really can't afford to travel in that style or split checks with that crowd.

lindastorm2000 avatar
Linda HS
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You garbage! You piece of s**t, human garbage! You deserve all the karma to come back to you! Asshole!

saragregory0508 avatar
N G
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

KITTENS (you need them more than me!) : https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftenor.com%2Fsearch%2Fkitten-gifs&psig=AOvVaw3FPJklHNUX2Pz5soeGs15z&ust=1625078443599000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAoQjRxqFwoTCNC84Iy_vfECFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD

Load More Replies...
ificouldiwouldliveunderwater avatar
I wish I could live in the ocean
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish I could read his answer to all those comments... They at least should make him think a little

saragregory0508 avatar
N G
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No you don't. Here's one of his replies: "This is the first comment that's helped me realize that deep down I think she's not good enough for me and I do not want to give her more. I've felt this way for a little while but wasn't sure where the feeling came from. According to you all, she probably deserves better. So I'm sure we'll be breaking up shortly". AH, AH, AH! (I'm off to look at kitten pictures til I feel better)

Load More Replies...
emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't even have to read this to say YTA. When you invite someone to go on a trip with you, especially when you know they make half of what you do, you need to understand there are some expenses you will be covering like, if anything else, the tickets and the hotel. That way, your guest (which is what she was) can enjoy herself too. This kind of thing is a play on control and superiority by making the other person feel insignificant. Not sure what he was trying to accomplish unless it was to show his girlfriend that she'd be better off with someone else. Money doesn't make you a decent person. Run for the hills GF. He and his family are not worth it. And for him, I wish nothing but an expensive divorce in his future where his SO takes him for half of everything plus child support. It's the least he deserves.

deborah_chapman avatar
Deborah Chapman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who came up with this 50-50 deal? You?? If you didn't know initially that she made just enough to live modestly, you should have stepped up when you figured it out and started paying for everything. Decent men would have. Spoiled boys, not so much. Could you not find a nice, loving, giving girl in your own wealthy class?? Probably not... people who are teachers who make modest wages, love helping others. Those who teach young children are in a class by themselves. I hoped she dumped your stupid ass and found a man who was worthy of her. When I was young and fetching, I did not like dating rich men. They tried to buy you. Believe me, those who marry for money will earn every penny of it.

jencook avatar
JennyLaRue
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm all for independence, but long term would he just be sitting on all his cash while his partner is financially stretched and struggling? Surely one of the nice things about doing well is being able to treat those that you love. Poor girl, she must've been so stressed when she got there and realised how much meals were costing. The guy is a douche for not picking up on the situation from the point that she needed to take a second job so that she could join the holiday.

dons avatar
kayblue avatar
Kay blue
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even with all the comments this jerk is getting, he will never understand how he made his gf feel until he experiences financial hardship. His gf did everything she possibly could in order to join him on this holiday and he didn't once think about the sacrifices she made. Having to take a second job should have been enough to clue him in, but it seems like he is either oblivious or just doesn't care.

donotreplytokjk avatar
Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I knew a guy like this. He was so traumatized by losing "his" money in a divorce that he spent his inter-marriage years making all his girlfriends pay 50/50 for everything, even though he made a lot more money than they did. AND he'd use his money to impress women and deliberately create economically unequal relationships, and spend their time together making her "prove" she wasn't after his money, by spending money she couldn't afford on their time together.

lizzlor avatar
Lizz Lor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow...when I was 21 I had a college roommate who's parents were wealthy and they knew I wasn't and that I worked to out myself through school....they invited me out to dinners, movies, day trips to Chicago, etc. And her parents ALWAYS covered my meals when we ate out as a group or admission to events they invited me to...I was always ready to pay but they just did it without hesitation...and I barely knew them. This guy has dated her for 2 years and can't even pick up the check once in awhile 🙄

kjorn avatar
kjorn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when i start going out with my girlfriend she didn't work at that time and i do. i didn't have to question myself. of course i'd pay since she couldn't. i hope this would be an eye opener for him.

sarahbennett avatar
sarah bennett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This sounds like a conditional relationship where even if he was cognizant of her financial needs and picked up what she couldn't afford, he'd expect some payback in return. I suspect he deleted the post not only from humiliation, but also from the fact that the mirror was put up to his face. His ignorance was toxic and emotionally abusive. I really hope she leaves him because it is very clear it is not a match.

nukkasihti avatar
Asswipe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you invite someone, especially if it is your SO to a luxury vacation you should be prepared to back them up financially if they aren't making even close to your figures. This guy is a good example why hard core capitalism induces high income difference.

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And high level lack of empathy. Plus utter indifference for, and insensitivity to, the struggles of others.

Load More Replies...
stephenharris_1 avatar
Stemarris
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YTA. When my partner (now husband) and I agreed to move together and start "mixing finances", the best piece of advice we got was that everything you buy/do/eat/pay together should be based on what percent you are contributing to the household. In the beginning I was making about 60k and he was making about 20k, combined we were making around 80k. Since I was making 60k I paid 3/4 cost of rent, bills, food, etc. He was paying 1/4 of everything. Now some 18 years later, he makes 3 times my salary and I pay about 25% of everything and he covers the other 75%. Every tax season when we would file taxes we would reassess what percentage we each we contributing based on our salaries. It was fair that way. Assuming she would pay the same as you, 50/50, yeah you the ass.

jlawlor avatar
Jackie Walters
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a senior citizen, I had to research YTA.That said, couldn't agree more!!! Big jerk!

macmook avatar
Alexander Neil
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even asking AITA reeks of seeking allies. YTA 10 times over. There should be an award for such a$$holery.

veraxtactus avatar
Pamda Panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This thread and these comments make me feel so good. My ex used to insist on 50/50 split and our salaries were pretty comparable to the OP. Letting my current partner pay for dinner sometimes or pay for most of the groceries or for all of our Airbnb on vacation was really hard for me to adjust to/accept. Hearing everyone say OP is the ass and that fair is based on proportion is actually really cathartic.

williamsg9 avatar
im_so_bored13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YTA. You know she did not earn as much as you, but expected her to pay for thing way out of her budget. You then acted surprised when seemingly broke down saying that she couldn't afford the things you know she couldn't.

immeelooby avatar
Looby
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What an absolutele c***womble!!! That poor girl must have been so miserable and uncomfortable on the trip... just want to give her a hug.

manuelamartins avatar
Manuela Martins
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, boy. You are too dumb to be even considered an a**hole, but while we are at it, let's go with massive, insensitive idiot. It is hard to believe that you make good money in your job cause you seem to have a huge vacuum between your ears, bro. A person who earns 5000 cannot expect from someone who earns 2500 to contribute exactly the same percentage. You contribute only the percentage you can afford according to your possibilities, never 50/50. Maybe 70/30 or 80/20. I mean, she is (was?) your girlfriend, ffs, not a random hook up.

isabellagalluzzo19 avatar
Bella, Your Kitty-Loving Queen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please please please, I am begging you dump this guy’s ass. He doesn’t deserve you, please dump him and hopefully find someone better.

oneeyepuppy avatar
OneEyePuppy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A good partner would have picked up on the disparity and helped out. If not, have fun within his/her means.

noneanon avatar
Random Anon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If financial equality is important in the relationship then ask yourself 2 things if you're the one making more. Are you willing to scale down your lifestyle in order to match the income of your partner? And, are you willing to subsidize your partner so you both can live the way you want to? Be honest about it. Equality does not work in ideals.

danielshadowdrakken avatar
Daniel (ShadowDrakken)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anytime I've been in a relationship with someone who has exceptionally different pay than I do, an Excel spreadsheet gets made to help with the math. On expenses that have a fixed cost (cellphone, cable TV, etc) we split 50/50, but only if we both agree that we want that service (eg. I don't watch Hulu, partner does, that becomes their expense). On expenses that go up with affluence (rent) we split according to our means (80/20, 60/40, whatever), and on non-shared expenses (individual subscriptions, self care, etc) we take care of our own stuff. On top of that, the higher paid person often just does nice things for the other person just because it's nice (dinner out, spa days, etc). Haven't been in a position to do vacations yet but this year I finally am, and after discussing it I'm going to eat those costs because it doesn't affect me hardly at all, but it would bankrupt my partner. So the person who makes less isn't overburdened and can still build savings, have mad money, etc.

saicohipe avatar
Saico Hipe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Christ, what I wouldn't give to make $45,000 a year. Her boyfriend makes per year what I make in 5 or 6.

johnbaker avatar
John Baker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm skeptical. The whole thing reads like a troll to me. That being said, what dickhead invites his girlfriend - not a buddy, but his **girlfriend** - on a vacation and expects her to pay *any* part of it? That's not how it's done where I was raised.

jadewilliamson89 avatar
Jade Lynn - Panda's Brat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He left her being hungry and asked her if she had an eating disorder? How clueless is this guy. She worked so hard to go on this trip that HE invited her on!

alediaz avatar
Ale Díaz
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, i hope never have a partner like him. It's ok split everything 50/50 when both earn the same, but clearly he knows she can afford those things and refuses to help her.

master_minds9 avatar
denzoren
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine being with someone for two years and they're this daft. Geez dude, is she your girlfriend, someone who you cherish and care about, or just someone on your arm...from your strict 50/50 rule...even when you clearly knew she was hungry...tells me the later. This is beyond insensitive. You all planned a vacation, knowing her salary, and still chose to do the "expensive" stuff...well then you need to supplement what she'll have to spend or take a cheaper vacation. Also....two years....150k a year...have you taken her on a vacation alone? Or was that because she couldn't afford that either? I hope you find a rich woman who can "match" your expectations. For her, I really hope she gets out of this toxicity and finds someone who will pay attention to her and care about her.

veni_vidi_vicky avatar
viviane_katz avatar
Viviane
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone looked at his responses: all he learned is that he doesn't want to give her more and she's "not good enough" for him. I hope he'll end up with someone just as awful as himself - pair two awful people and that keeps them away from decent potential partners.

Load More Replies...
nikoniko avatar
NIko Niko
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am speechless that this guy needs to ask the net if his behaviour was appropriate or not.

belandriel avatar
Belandriel
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First of all I find it sad that teachers earn so little money... That alone is pretty f****d up already. The work of an IT guy is ridiculously unimportant in comparison to educate little humans for the future. And if you like I will repeat that: Yes, it is ridiculously unimportant in comparison! And then I wonder how d***s like this always have girlfriends, who literally rip their asses up for their guys. I think that there must also somehow be a connection why decent guys more often don't have gfs.

poppycorn avatar
Nikole
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh. Reminds me of my ex. He made over twice what I did and would complain when I couldn't afford to do the things he wanted to do. Of course he always paid exactly half, unless it was my birthday or something. Ass.

erosa1224 avatar
Orionpax75
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy is a f'n dickhead!! And I hope she left his dumb ass when she got back!! WTF!! If she's your lady treat her to a vacation treat to a meal what type of men do this s**t??!!

zoolu2cool avatar
Jessica
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The idiot honestly thought it was an eating disorder before recognizing she could not afford to eat, and then had to audacity to cite his rationality like she signed an iron-clad contract and should know better. He knew her income what did he think would happen she would not pay rent for a year so she could participate in this vacation? I have no idea how you can be so self absorbed. I highly doubt he gave her an estimate of costs. There is no way to factor in costs when your making that much less than everyone else on the trip, and they budget completely different than you do. Where as most in her income bracket would look at ways to cut cost they were looking at ways to increase the luxury of the experience. Like the average person knows what a fancy restaurant in foreign country will run them? Woman needs to leave him like yesterday!

jlindsay avatar
J Charby
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What an entitled jerk.... Money really does speak loudly to those types of people

rweaver-boredpanda avatar
Johnny
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How do you take your girlfriend on an expensive vacation and not know it was beyond her means? When my wife and I were dating, I made much more money than she did - I paid for most of our vacations (airfare, hotels, etc), she picked up meals and other things that were more in her price range. We discussed the plans ahead of time and made sure it was afforable for both of us. If she said she needed to take a second job to pay for it, I either would have scaled back or covered more of her share - working 2 jobs just to afford vacation is ludicrous, much better to go on a less expensive vacation, or even no vacation at all than to have to work a 2nd job.

gregalt avatar
greg alt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I couldn't even read half of the article before I made my decision. Nothing wrong with splitting things 50/50 and each being self dependent. But there's also nothing wrong with being a gentleman. Which this man nor any man in his family could ever be considered gentleman. The fact that he has to question any of his actions during this vacation means he's unable to comprehend what being a gentleman even is. Hopefully she wises up. He can't even take care of his girl friend with the amount of money he makes. Who in the world would even conceive the possibility that he could potentially ever care for even a child... Or a dog... He'd probably tell his infant child to pay 50/50 or starve. POS.

dontlook avatar
Don't Look
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There’s a level of dense here that … what on earth? Maybe these two are completely not right for each other.

tinapotter avatar
Serbob
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband makes more money than I. We do split the bills 50/50, but when it comes to restaurants it's always been the one who picks the restaurant pays. If this guy is choosing where they go and what they eat that should be on him. If they agreed to 50/50 and she is okay with that then he has to go somewhere affordable for her and not go without her and let her starve. Listening to how his family reacted it's no wonder he's an oblivious twat. He was raised poorly.

verydarkmatter avatar
VeryDarkMatter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't date stupid. Poor girl. I hope she woke up now and isn't heart broken. This guy is not worth her time. Nor is her family who cant put 1 +1 together.

yungkeylo_1 avatar
Keyy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what i can't understand is what man making 6 figures makes his woman pay for anything ? like forreal dude what kind of man is this guy

k_anderson avatar
K. Anderson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

50/50 is fair is both people make the same money amount of money & have similar bills. If SO has a child to take care of & you don’t gone make them pay as much or adjust you plans/expectations

auroradarc avatar
Pangolin Pal
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, I just hope this betrayed, humiliated, hungry GF will DTFAA (Dump The F**king A**hole Already!)

zora24_1 avatar
Trillian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How did he "invite" her if she was expected to pay everything for herself? Plus she mentioned she is on a budget, so how clueless can you be?

sweetangelce04 avatar
CatWoman312
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How can someone be this big of a clueless jerk?? My husband makes more than me only bc I have some debt and he usually picks up the slack no questions asked. 50/50 only applies if everyone is equal in the relationship. He makes 3x what she makes. Smh. He’ll be single soon

tbrittingham99 avatar
it's me again
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The commenters above are being extremely kind in letting him know what a complete ass he and his family are.

willemsen avatar
Meami
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't believe this guy even had to ask if he was the asshole. He's stupid AND a jerk. That girl needs to run!!!

nicsoderman avatar
Nic Soderman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I say he should be f*****g grateful that she even agreed on splitting everything 50/50, she shows she's not in it for the money. That means that when you go on trips and holidays HE should be paying for any luxuries HE knows she can't afford. If he's so blind to that, she's better off without him. I know I'd pay for most things if I made almost four times the money my wife makes. Easy. What a f*****g douche.

coolahwinooka avatar
Lesley Byfield-Papworth
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

all the other comments aside.....you and your family are arrogant, pretentious, unkind and ignorant. There is no excusing your behaviour you treated her so very badly and your ridiculous question is an insult to decent people.......you sir are a whiner and Im thinking you will not make a successful life for yourself.....you are shallow

gmadams avatar
Blackheart
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been married over 20 yrs. At one point spouse made more than me. Now it is the other way around. At no point has it been an issue, not even when we dated. This guy frankly sounds self centered to the point he cannot see someone else's difficulty. She would do well to move on. AND what kind of world is it that a teacher only makes 1/3 an IT guy? I bet you she has more education, maybe even a grad degree. Priorities.

christiemcdermid avatar
Christie McDermid
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh aye. Leave your starving GF to her tummy rumbles and not even pay her way? You should have paid her full trip you d**k. You know she earns much less than you (criminally so for a teacher - bloody US). Does generosity not exist in your vocabulary?

billygoat_bonkers avatar
Billy Gonkenstein
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The guy should be ashamed of himself for being so thick and unable to understand what his girlfriend is going through. If he was a thoughtful gentleman he would have taken on all the bills on himself without even giving it a thought. How an anyone be so heartless and not even realize it.

booksfeedthemind avatar
Donna Leske
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So sad. I'm hoping once they got home from the fiasco of a vacation she told him "it's not working out, I'm not happy". I'm picturing once the 3 of them left for dinner (without her) she maybe rushed out to a market and bought lunchmeat, crackers and fruit = for $9.00 as she knew they were going somewhere a dinner would be $32.00 minimum each. So sad.

rachelmcferren_1 avatar
Rachel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does anyone getting the feeling that he is also bragging in his post? What a complete d**k.

mm_9 avatar
M M
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe he is Dutch or simply doesn't have empathy in his hardware*_*

mertltimo avatar
Mertimo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a similar situation a few years ago when me and my husband were only dating. He was software engineer with a great salary, and I was still a university student, living in a dorm, working as a language teacher to make ends meet. We also did 50-50% when we paid for stuff (not strictly, but it was always like "I pay this time, you pay next time"). His family is pretty rich and one summer invited me to an expensive trip abroad, which I couldn't afford, but they were so cool about it! They told me that they know I'm still a student, so they didn't allow me to pay for anything, even when I told them I'd be happy to pay for some stuff. And that's the way it should be, they shouldn't expect the poor girl to pay for everything when they knew she couldn't afford it... Either plan a cheaper holiday or help her out with some of the costs.

anotherlittlething avatar
Jill Pulcifer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, just wow. I hope she can see him for the selfish A**hole he is after he sat there listening to her stomach growl and then accused her of having an eating disorder. What an absolute garbage fire of a human being, she deserves way better than him.

moneymaker52 avatar
Bee the Dubya
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If 2 people are in a loving, committed relationship for over TWO YEARS there is NO SPLITTING THE BILL on anything when it comes to going out to dinner or the movies, etc. He has more disposable income than she does so he should be paying 100%. Plus, he INVITED her to come on vacation. When one extends an invitation, they pay the costs for the guest, 100%. He's an idiot and he probably learned that behavior from his parents. She is a better human being than he is witness the fact that she worked 2 jobs to save enough money to be able to "afford" the vacation with him and his family. I hope she leaves him asap. She deserves better.

jean-jacqueschen avatar
Jean-Jacques Chen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That guy made 3 times more than her, but she was worth 3 times more than him and his entire douchebag family. Yet another sad example that the richer you get, the more oblivious you are to real life's and real people's struggles.

mcborge1 avatar
mcborge1
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Generosity sure runs thin with this douche and his family, as does empathy it seems. I hope this lady dumps his clueless a** and finds someone better.

lcaputony avatar
Ella Blackwood
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I were her, I would dump his stingy, clueless ass so fast it would make his head spin. Ugh! What an awful person!

hjdashiell avatar
Paradise
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The man and his family are both morons. Financially very similar family -husband software engineer and makes a little more than he does, I am childcare and make less tha she does. We are flipped from this guy -My parents have money, his not as much-but they are not poor. My parents always pay for guests, as do I. His parents did not pay for me on the couple (10 dollar) meals out we had done, just husband so I said either we pay for ourselves or they pay both, I was offended. But we, husband and I, dont have financial issues. We started out 50/50 but then it became "our" money so we know what is in our means. That, and husband is not an oblivious jerk.

daniel-underwood97 avatar
COLA
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Rich people don't have empathy. I said what I said lol

benicia_99 avatar
Azure Adams
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Major YTA!!! I hope she dumps you hard and fast! How stupid are you? Seriously how f*****g stupid is this dumbass?? You are not partners. You are a selfish d**k! And will soon be very single!

katie-trondsen avatar
KT
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jesus what a jack ass. Two years together and you let her starve then go around thinking she has an eating disorder? Pathetic excuse for a man.

williescreek avatar
Katie Morris
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What an absolute moron of a person feeling very sad for this girl :( a similar thing happened to me in Bali with my ex Bf and his family , who were all finance consultants, ships captains , dentist and so on ..... they all choose to go to the most expensive restaurants, stay at the most expensive resorts , go on the most expensive tours .... in the end I walked around enjoying Bali for myself.

twinkerbell26 avatar
Mumchkin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As much as I'm angered at the BF, I'm also angry at his parents, and his brother and sister-in-law too. How could any of them sit by while this woman is going hungry once a day, or staying alone for half the time while they're all off having a great time. When my husband and I were dating, if I tried to pay for a meal myself or tickets into a place, his Dad would stop me. My money was for souvenirs.

evilinakoo avatar
EvilK
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've seen some (hidden) comments here claiming that if the woman was the one making more money and demanding going 50-50, no one would disagree. Pretty much no one is expecting him to pay for her and obviously neither did she since she took an extra god damn job to pay for the vacation. But when you go 50-50 it means that both parties can afford it. I would NEVER ask my SO or a friend to go to a dinner, let alone vacation with me, and ask to go 50-50 if _I_ wanted to spend more than the other one could afford. If I feel the need to have a fancy dinner and I wanted my SO or a friend to join me, I would gladly pay for them if they could not afford it. How the hell can anyone enjoy their time if someone they care for is struggling? You either pay for them, or you do something else that they can afford to do with you. You go to a McDonald's if that's what it takes. And if the one with more money can't do that, then YfuckingES they are the asshole.

nicoleblom avatar
Nicole Blomkamp
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Plus her job is way more important than his yet she gets paid a pittance. Teachers are hideously underpaid. I dare this asshole to spend ONE day in a day care centre or with a class of teenagers.

heathervance avatar
AzKhaleesi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. He makes three times her amount and they do 50/50 this poor girl needs to run. This guy is a POS. All he cares about is money and same with his family. If I were her parents I would've paid for her trip. TWO jobs just to go on vacation? that's some s**t where BOTH people make 45k a year would do, not one fam rich and one person barely getting by. un believable.

rebecca_l_shave avatar
Becky Bec
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet he suggested the 50/50 split…imbecile. Kick him to the kerb abs find someone who treats you with consideration

msmom avatar
Ms Mom
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I were his mother I would be ashamed to have raised such a heartless child. What kind of loving partner knows their SO is hungry... and just lets them starve? I have a hard time believing ANYONE could be so clueless as to KNOW someone they care about is going hungry and not having fun and then NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! Also, if he makes 3x more than her then he should be paying 75/25 not 50/50. They don't make the same income, so they shouldn't be splitting it down the middle!

asaabsfables avatar
Amy Begun Saab
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a clues mean jerk! An idiot. Doesn't he know his parent paid for everything while grew up? His parents paid for everything to get his jerk self to were he is. They did it because of love. He doesn't know what love is because everything has been given to him. He is completely worthless. He may have money, but as a human being, he is worthless. She needs to walk away. Maybe she's staying because he will marry her & then take care of her. She's wrong, if he doesn't take care of her now, he never will. YTA 100% and all the men and women out there dating people for money. You need to change your SO

celeryg avatar
celery g
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

she is not the brightest, either. I wouldn't have worked two jobs to save for a vacation, how dumb is that!

shrutipatel avatar
Shruti Patel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why split 50/50 do you both earn equal? Split as per both of your income. Or I would rather say if you love her n want her to be with you then plan what she can afford with dignity .she seems to be a proper woman who agrees to 50 50 otherwise you can find so many gold diggers who will be ready to feed off on your money.

553048f4b200a avatar
Jim Bishop
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looking at the comments from women, and looking back at life, I wonder how reversing the genders would change attitudes. My opinion is that the woman knew full well that the trip was expensive, otherwise why the second job? As the 50/50 agreement was not modified, it stood. Thus, she got what she bargained for. They're not married. He's not supporting her. I have not information to indicate that a female would have taken a different view of the situation. 50/50 is 50/50 unless renegotiated.

cashanderson avatar
Buzz Anderson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YEP he was the asshole Knew right up front she was having $$ trouble and didn't do a f*****g thing about. She should not have had to pay for a damned thing. SHE should dump his stingy as hell ass. AND make sure word gets around what a f*****g asshole. To make her skip meals F**K HIM. Hope his d**k falls off.

nasiomnc avatar
Collette Moisan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am disgusted by this BF! My new boyfriend had talked me into taking scuba diving lessons, which I paid for, but then HE FULLY PAID for a trip to Bonaire for scuba diving, plus he bought me scuba gear! This girls BF is a total moron! By the way, I have been together with this wonderful man for about 15 years now!

robyoungberg avatar
McWiggins
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet he learned his lesson, so I don't want to pile on too much, but...well, here I go, piling on. They've been together for 2 years and are still splitting things 50/50? They all went out to dinner with his affluent parents and they split the check, instead of the parents paying for their children and significant others? It took the guy until after the trip had ended to realize something was wrong, and even then he didn't guess it correctly? Maybe some of that feels normal for other people, but it feels foreign to me. True that they have always had the agreement to split things 50/50, but taking a second job to come with... he seems obtuse, like one commenter said. Maybe this is the first time something like this has ever come up, where they go and do something far more expensive than they've ever done in their relationship.

denisemclean avatar
Denise Mclean
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think you should have paid for everything, I can't believe you would be so hateful, mean and cheap. You should be ashamed of yourself. You don't deserve her. You will likely be alone forever.

dodsonmichelle avatar
Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF? You make 3x her income and you're wondering if YTA? You treat her & figure out finances later. You are SO the asshole & I hope she dumps you for someone who has some semblance of reality.

kim_lorton avatar
Kim Lorton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope the hell she dumps your nasty entitled ass! You are the biggest butt wipe I have heard about here! You, just chose to ignore everything but what you wanted, and if you share all the costs while dating for two years? Well, I hate to tell you, that’s not dating. That is a low, down dirty cheap way to treat a supposed girlfriend! I hope she meets someone who treats her better than you ever did! You do not and never have, deserved her. So you, are the biggest Butt, ever. And, I blame your parents for how you turned out. They must be just like you!

fred_buettner_sr_ avatar
Fred Buettner Sr.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you are even close to serious you would have been aware of her getting a second job so she could afford to even go. She probably felt bad about the vacation in the first place. Knowing her financial situation about the money you should have offered to pay for her from the beginning. Prior to going, she got a second job so she could even go. You know the cost of things your family likes to do. You heard her stomach grumbling and asked way after the fact. You should be ashamed of yourself. She deserves far better.

idan avatar
Idan York
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know she loves him for whatever reason, but he definitely doesn't deserve such a selfless woman. What a clueless jerk he is. I would never ask someone I was dating to pay for anything we do together.

macforme17 avatar
Lindy Mac
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That guy got roasted and deservedly so. I hope she finds a guy who is more attentive and aware of what is going on around him. Thing is... if they had gone to some beach and all sat around having a barBQ, talking and telling jokes, would have been more fun for all than going to a posh restaurant that costs $100+ a person. Um... speaking for myself.

lynnnoyes avatar
elfin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are wrong, but your girlfriend is even wronger for not ditching you the day after you met and finding someone better. As for the 50/50 agreement, a really nice person would have made an exception and taken care of the person he supposedly cares about.

chrisdifonso avatar
Chris DiFonso
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He (OP) might have a lot of money, yet very little (if any) class. The girlfriend should dump him.

billmarsano avatar
bill marsano
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have to ASK? Your supernova A status should have been perfectly obvious. As someone once perfectly put iy, "Only God could put such a big A on such a small man.

nikisan01 avatar
Niki Davis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It should have been clear from the time she had to take a 2nd job to be able to go. His pleading ignorance to what was going on is a joke. Not much of a boyfriend if you ask me. I usually pay my own way but (in my circle) we always are clear on who is paying for what to avoid exactly this kind of thing.

kjl01 avatar
Karen Lyon
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was on another social media site when a conversation about this behavior came up, and someone shared the article I linked below. It seems that having an "affluent lifestyle" really does effect one's ability to be sympathetic and empathetic toward others. After reading it, I decided I will stick to my paycheck-to-paycheck life and just accept the fact that my decor is Early Goodwill. I've seen someone go from being a decent human being to a selfish "affluent" bitch who can take expensive vacations, but is completely cut off from her own children and grandchildren. My life is better. (The part in this article where the people who are financially better off take candy meant for children, when they could buy their own damn candy, just makes me gag.) https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-wealth-reduces-compassion/

jtmarie64 avatar
Jill Tremblay
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

something tells me that no matter how many times all this is said, He probably won't get it anyway....

etnarudotrebor avatar
Roberto Durante
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know some people like this jerk, they are so poor they only possess money. My free advice , girl dump this moron.

nalasimba avatar
nala simba
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This poor excuse of a being should be put in stocks and have excrement hurled at him. (What? No stocks these days? Ah, well.) Surprised he didn't shame the poor girl by divulging her name! Mind you she's not very bright either putting up with The Jerks & Son! You wouldn't have seen me for dust!

pemfranz avatar
Perry Edward Matthew Franz
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That young man has a lot…a LOT…of growing up to do. And, yes, dude, YASTTA.

justprayagain avatar
Black Karen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was dating my (now) husband he NEVER made me pay for anything. He gladly gave me all his worldly posessions, no questions asked, didnt matter if I didnt need it, could buy it myself, or already had it. Some guys are just selfless sweethearts and some a selfish jerks. Hope she dumps this zero and finds a hero.

justprayagain avatar
Black Karen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I cant imagine that someone like this would have any likeable qualities at all to be dating him for two years. She sounds way too pure for this asshole. She needs to come to Black Karen's How to Dump Assholes Class.

lynmoffett avatar
Lyn Moffett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The whole family are assholes especially as it seemed none of them had any empathy for the girl. God forgive me but I hope you all learn a hard lesson someday. Spoilt privileged me me me types like you sicken me. Yes I know you work for your money bat that does NOT give you or your family the right to be so fkn oblivious to another persons struggle, no, I'm afraid YOU love the mighty dollar more than the girl you are with and she will be well rid of you

kkermes avatar
Kim Kermes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You knew the disparity of income. You had the responsibility to offer to cover 2/3 of the cost! You should spend a month what she makes. In a short term rental and a car rented by the momth.

stanflouride avatar
Stannous Flouride
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Usually these have at least one or two opposing views but this guy's behavior is so clearly indefensible that I doubt there was a single one.

kalebprichardmiraikuma avatar
Kaleb Prichard (MiraiKuma)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I say only 85% asshole. I can see myself on both sides. Being the one oblivous (I suck at reading people) and being the one trying to tough it out. I can see myself taking someone at their word at wanting a 50/50 split. She could have spoken up during it too. Granted I know she was probably embarrassed, but part of being an adult is speaking up when it embarrasses you.

kalebprichardmiraikuma avatar
Kaleb Prichard (MiraiKuma)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm gonna go with 85% asshole and 15% oblivious. I am not good at reading people at all. I am also the type or person who would pay for someone's whole vacation if I had the means to. But I'm also the type of person that means, "I got this" when I say I got this. So he should have realized it but then again, she should have just said, "I can't afford all this stuff, I'm gonna stay at home unless you can pay for me" I can completely see me in this situation doing the same thing on both sides. Communication is key to a relationship. So 85% ass hole.

zanoni608 avatar
Patti Vance
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

omg! most def the a-hole. not that i think that the guy should foot the bill for everything but after being together for 2 yrs you think he would have known that her financial status would take a hit, especially when she got the second job for the trip. my advice to him would be to have a little more insight to his gf's situation. to her, i would advise to get to steppin' as if he is this oblivious now it may only be worse later. tbh, the scenario of her delivering their child crossed my mind and i shuddered.

epectasis avatar
Jos Tiguidou
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's crazy how rich people can be so f*****g disconnected from reality. If I made that much money, I'd sure as hell want to splurge on the people I love, especially when I know they make way less than me. Unless this girl was hoping to live the goldigger lifestyle, she better just scoot off before she gets ruined hanging with this cheap ass.

armsoftheocean avatar
Franc Esca
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most couples like to treat their partner to at least one vacation... so now because she wagered to 50/50 it's no "take backsies"? If I were her j would have left the resort and enjoyed the vacation elsewhere

shaynameidela avatar
Dorothy Parker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's been subsidising his life for two years! If anything, he should be paying two thirds of their expenses, and she the other third. His being so unconscious, and his family also so unaware, is appalling. He should be paying for vacations, expensive restaurants, etc. She's shown she cares for him and not his money.

miketayse avatar
Mike Tayse
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Golden rule should apply: treat others as you want to be treated.

victoriapitt avatar
Victoria Pitt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My boyfriend makes less money than me and you better believe he if heard my tummy rumbling he would run about and bring home the whole supermarket. And then cook me all my favorite dishes. I hope she dumps this guy. Honestly this sounds so dense I bet its just a troll fabricating a story but who knows.

matthewr avatar
Matthew R
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

krystalzombiegirladams avatar
ZombieGirl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This cant be real! He saw her taking on a second job just to be able to go on the trip, and said nothing! He saw that she wasn't going on half the excursions, and said nothing. He didn't even stay behind with her?! He saw her not eating and even heard her stomach growl and said nothing! He said nothing until they got home from the trip!? This cant be real! This man cant exist! I'm in shock lol!

algarebi2 avatar
Algarebi Moss
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that story is a lie, or she and he are too idiots. Nobody's stomach ache from eating 2 times a day, a lot of people do it all the time.And where were those vacations that there wasn't a supermarket nearby to buy a fruit or something affordable? And these very wealthy parents are so greedy that they could not invite a dinner? And of course the miserly boyfriend couldn't invite his girlfriend something and left her alone in the hotel while he scuba? really?

algarebi2 avatar
Algarebi Moss
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that story is a lie, or she and he are too idiots. Nobody's stomach ache from eating 2 times a day, a lot of people do it all the time.And where were those vacations that there wasn't a supermarket nearby to buy a fruit or something affordable? And those so rich parents were so greedy that they could’nt invite a dinner? And these very wealthy parents are so greedy that they could not invite a dinner? And of course the miserly boyfriend couldn't invite his girlfriend something and left her alone in the hotel while he scuba? really?

thomas_maertens avatar
Saint Thomas
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unpopular opinion, but I don't see him as an AH. He may be oblivious or naive, but he didn't put her in that position on purpose. They are a couple since 2 years, and they have always have an understanding with splitting 50/50. We lack a lot of context. Maybe most of the time they go to places more in the price range of the girl. The girl knows that him and his family are wealthier than her. She had to know that those holidays would cost more than their usual outings together. What I see is a lack of communication on both part that ended in this situation that was - we all agree - more unconfortable for the girl than for the guy. Also, even very nice and kind people with money don't always realise that their way of living is linked to their wealth. It doesn't excuse anything, but I don't want to be to quick to judge without knowing them, as so many do here in the comments. I knew a guy who made a lot of money, then had a drawback. He admitted he never realised how easier life is with a big income until he had to make do with 5 times less. And he is a clever and kind guy.

viviane_katz avatar
Viviane
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your guy is a decent human being with empathy. I know people from privileged backgrounds who've learned from those who had more difficult lives. They are genuinely nice people. Apparently, the AH is not. In the end, he concluded that he doesn't want to give her any financial help whatsoever and that he deserves better than someone who's struggling to keep up with him.

Load More Replies...
baritoneewart avatar
Salty Baritone
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While I’d pick up the tab, it just goes to show we still expect men to provide in a society where apparently the patriarchy has dominated everything. And before some twit tries the argument “if it weren’t for the patriarchy she’d make the same he does” male teachers also get paid the same. Should he have been more sensitive? Yes. Should she have spoken up? Also true. Both could have handled it better. Those thinking this was just on the dude, consider why…

dirt_in_my_veins avatar
Dio
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish I knew the outcome and whether the man learned from this. He may very well have been sheltered and naïve, but not malicious from his upbringing. It didn't sound like he intended to be a jerk. He just sounded very oblivious. I truly do hope he got that wake up call that he needed to be a better person.

fuhleeheece avatar
Felice Coles
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not with a family like that around him. That whole family needs to do some charity work to atone for their assholery.

Load More Replies...
malcolmjonessr87 avatar
Logically Thinking
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

He's not a ahole to me he did it right. Also women voted to be equal to men. Correct? They made a deal 50/50... if she was better with money management she wouldn't have been hungry or had the slightest feeling of embarrassment. Also if she knew how to talk to him about these things or simply persuading them (the family) to eat somewhere her wallet can afford and if not then she goes and eats solo. I'm in a relationship and I know to be alone and love myself for that. Meaning if my girl ain't got the money she can eat at home. See the plan is to build together not go broke for each other. And men in reality do this way to often lmao then we get mad when the divorce is settled with your now (ex wife) leaving you with no car no house no parent visits with your children and barely 1000 in your own bank to even attempt to start a new life. Oh yea and child support! With that being said I would let any woman go who's not on my level of success. Because if you don't match a woman's she won'

malcolmjonessr87 avatar
Logically Thinking
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Look your way.. a WOMAN WILL NOT BUILD A MAN UP TO FULL POTENTIAL OF HIS CAPABILITIES.... I BET A MAN WILL HELP SET A WOMAN UP FOR LIFE HER CHILDREN CHILDRENS CHILDREN AND SO ON.. ALL YOU GUYS SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF SIMPS.

Load More Replies...
edc_82 avatar
Lola
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I refuse to believe this is real. Someone is being pathetic and trying to get a reaction.

malcolmjonessr87 avatar
Logically Thinking
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

He's not a ahole to me he did it right. Also women voted to be equal to men. Correct? They made a deal 50/50... if she was better with money management she wouldn't have been hungry or had the slightest feeling of embarrassment. Also if she knew how to talk to him about these things or simply persuading them (the family) to eat somewhere her wallet can afford and if not then she goes and eats solo. I'm in a relationship and I know to be alone and love myself for that. Meaning if my girl ain't got the money she can eat at home. See the plan is to build together not go broke for each other. And men in reality do this way to often lmao then we get mad when the divorce is settled with your now (ex wife) leaving you with no car no house no parent visits with your children and barely 1000 in your own bank to even attempt to start a new life. Oh yea and child support! With that being said I would let any woman go who's not on my level of success.

degueb avatar
De Gueb
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I'll turn this around. If it was her with the money.... I know a case we're the wife, who was broke when she married, came in to some money a few years later and went on a cruise with her daughter and son in law living my friend at home because he business han gone south in the financial crisis and he couldn't afford to go. The general opinion was "go girl" no need to not have fun because your hubby's a looser.

demi_zwaan avatar
Demi Zwaan
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

That girl is an idiot. I can't believe she spend 2 years with him paying 50/50 when he makes 3 times as much as her and even takes a 2nd job to be able to go on holiday with him. It just screams fake to me and if it's not, that girl needs a psychiatrist to work on her self esteem issues. And dump him, of course.

james_fox1984 avatar
Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, out of your whole comment you pretty much blasted the girl. The guy is the asshole, he should be the one getting blasted.

Load More Replies...
Popular on Bored Panda
Trending on Bored Panda
Also on Bored Panda