“AITA For Refusing To Let My Family See My Son Until They Make A Formal Apology To My Wife And Announce It Online?”
Conflicts are inevitable, and that’s a fact. They will happen at your workplace, with your closest friends and even with your next-door neighbor. Just think about it – we live on a flying orb where every single one of us has contrasting views on things, so, in reality, it would’ve been quite odd for every person to get along.
Some folks are more restrained, and they’ll always find a way to overcome any unnecessary dispute – others like to get their point across, even if they’re wrong. It’s an unpleasant and highly distressing process that can seriously mess with one’s well-being, and it’s crucial to look for a more peaceful way out whenever possible.
Family dramas – on the other hand – are way different to your typical altercations due to the emotional connection that they hold; and even if you had the most supportive bond throughout your whole life, you never know if there’ll be a fight that will get you disowned by your own parent.
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Setting boundaries is good for you and the people around you, even if it means cutting your own family off
Image source: Anastasia Pavlenko (not the actual photo)
“AITA for refusing to let my family see my son until they make a formal apology to my wife and announce it online?” – this online user took it to everyone’s favorite online forum to reveal a story regarding one of the fights he had with his family and, perhaps, seek help from fellow users to find out whether he might’ve overreacted. The post has managed to receive nearly 9K upvotes and 1.8K worth of comments in just a couple of days.
Online user requested a public apology from his family as they’ve made his life a living hell after they found out about his relationship with his late brother’s fiancée
Image source: stillunsureabout
The author began his post by revealing that the story took place a couple of years after his brother’s death. The man was living in a different state and 3 years later, he decided to move back home, where everyone knows everyone. Later on, he met his late brother’s fiancée at a friend’s birthday party and they became friends.
Image source: stillunsureabout
Time went by and they fell in love – however, the couple decided not to tell anyone. Once the relationship got serious, they finally announced that they were together and, naturally, the family wasn’t so pumped about it. It even got to the point where the OP’s mother didn’t talk to either of them for a while. A few months later, the man’s partner got pregnant and everyone went absolutely ballistic; his sister started spreading unnecessary rumors about their “affair”, saying that they’d been together before his brother passed away, which, of course, wasn’t true.
Image source: stillunsureabout
The situation totally went out of control and even split the family into two camps. The author’s mother practically disowned him, saying that she didn’t have a son anymore because he had disrespected his late brother’s memory. The couple then realized that it was too much to handle, so they moved away and blocked everyone for the sake of having a fresh start. They’re now married, have a 3-year-old and are pregnant with their second baby.
Later on, the man’s family decided to turn up, completely out of the blue, requesting to make “amends” so that they could be a part of their lives. They’ve apologized a thousand times, blaming everything on the grief – however, the spouses talked it over and agreed that they would only consider it if the family would publicly apologize and admit to all the rumors they spread about their relationship.
Image source: stillunsureabout
As expected, the author’s family refused to do so, as they’re extremely ashamed and embarrassed of what they did, plus, it would be tough for them since everybody who would see that apology live around them. The mother then went on to explain that she completely understands that she hurt the couple, yet she begged them not to make it any harder. Moreover, the OP’s dad believes that the man’s behavior is quite petty, since he thinks that his mother and everyone involved have already learned their lessons.
Image source: Quinn Dombrowski (not the actual photo)
The dad also questioned the author demanding an explanation as to why he is trying to put his own mother through such distress after she’s been through enough with the loss of her son, while also backing her up by saying that she only wants her family back.
Fellow Redditors shared their own thoughts and opinions
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NTA. If the family truly cared, they would fall over themselves to make it right again. Instead, they want a pass for their horrible actions and statements. A real apology includes atonement.
Actually, if they really cared, they would never have started that garbage in the 1st place.
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They publicly shamed you to the point where you felt your only option was to move away and break ties with all of them, and now they're asking why *you* are being so hard on *them*? They're lucky you're even entertaining this.
They MOVED! The family situation was so bad they uprooted their lives! Exactly what you are saying except it needs more exclamation points!
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I live in a small town myself. You absolutely need a public apology after something like this. Just privately apologizing won't clean up the mess, their reputation is still going to be in the toilet.
It is, at the same time, absurdly sad and hilarious when people are triggered to the point of gatekeeping and gaslighting because they have to be held accountable for their actions. Apologizing for lies, slander and character assassination is simply reparative justice. These narcissists are worried about how it may affect peoples perception of them and cannot even see the irony of how their actions caused the same damage. With their lies they made their son and DIL such pariahs that both had to move away, relegated to personas non grata in their community.
If they don't want to publish the apology online, then spread the apology (with additional info to why they said what they said) to the whole town, and when your acquaintance in the next town over (of course someone they don't know of) hears gossip of the apology, then you can schedule a get together.
I love how every reason the family gave for wanting to make amends all circled back to wanting to make themselves feel better. They're not worried about any kind of damage control for the son and his wife.
NTA Sometimes when horrific rumors and lies are spread it can be very damaging to the people they are against, especially in a smaller town setting. With the apology being more public and forcing them to own up to the nastiness it will filter through the grapevine and control most of the damage done by their viciousness.
Public shaming = public apology. If they refuse, I would cut them out of my life until they complied. No public apology = no access to grandchildren, EVER...
Nobody gets to decide whether someone else should accept an apology. NTA.
They had no problem slandering you and shaming you to everyone, so they should learn some humility. Otherwise your family, children included, will be treated the same as before by everyone. Moving on quickly?! It sounds like you and your wife didn't even talk for three years after his death! How can they make that connection?
I think its a little messed up you got with your brothers girl at all. But i also understand that love does what it wants. However the family reaction is way too much. I can see just not talking to you but the lies and stuff too much and i would agree public apologizes would be necessary after all they publicly shamed you but now they wont apologize for it. That's messed up.
In the Bible, it was a responsibility for unwed brothers to take up the widow of the deceased and give them children, so I guess this messed up thing was admirable at one point.
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And the elephant in the room is that OP and his now wife also experienced deep grief at the loss of their brother and fiance. And yet the family don't care for their grief or understand that that experience may be partially what has bonded them strongly together- that's actually keeping the memory of their loved one alive.
How this could have been a different outcome, by the Mother embracing Mia as the daughter in law but through the other brother. Could have been seen as a win-win for both women. A DIL and grandchildren, just a different son. It's happens so often, it's not rare. I had a relative, an uncle marries a widow with a 5 yr old daughter, he suddenly dies when her daughter is a teenager, his baby bro is helping her get back on her feet, they develvope 'feelings' they then marry, he's much younger, but it works for them.
Restitution is not too much to ask for. Public humiliation, public apology
He is not the a-hole here. His mother and sister ruined his reputation in their town and the least they can do is come clean about the fact that nothing they said was true. I live in a small town and lies like this linger for a long time. If they were really sorry about their behavior and ready to make amends, they would do what he asked and make the public apology.
If they are truly sorry this shouldn’t be an issue for them. If they are saying sorry to get to see the grandkids then it’s not genuine.
They were allllllll for humiliating OP and wife for literally no reason, but now that they've "had a change of heart" they want THEM to drop it without the public's knowledge?!?! EFF. THAT. ESS.
the dad said that its hartless to humiliate the family but it was perfectly acceptable for the family to humiliate op though wasnt it?
People who are that vindictive, inappropriate, and manipulative, don't change. I really would be worried that they would worm their way back into their lives, just to manipulate, and lie, to their grandchildren/niece/nephew. I would be concerned that might start confusing the kids into thinking the uncle is their real dad. It wouldn't be the first time I've heard of it happening. Even if they apologize, the fact remains that if they feel hurt, or confused, they lash out, and lie. That's dangerous territory.
I would insist on the public apology! You absolutely deserve to have your name cleared, but more than that; I've learned the hard way, again, and again, do not listen to words, look at actions. I don't see any real sorrow or attempts at amends. I just see people telling you what to want to hear while ignoring your boundaries to gain access to something they want. Protect your child, your wife, & yourself. Make them turn their words to action, and if they won't call the police when they show up!
One point, if I read this gs correctly, was that OP had to move after the family's rumors because their reputation was so badly smeared. Then their argument going public is that they don't want their reputation to suffer? They need to repair the damage they did to OP and his family's reputation and until they can do that, keep them at [however many miles away] length.
NTA. I don't know if I would even *consider* forgiving them after that. Grief is grief but it cannot be an excuse for spreading vicious lies about own family members.
This. In my family the families behaviour would be grounds for "excommunication". We'd cut them out like a sore or weed and tell em to piss off.
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NTA.. they had no problem publicly lying about you. They should apologize and tell the world what jerks they were publicly.
A private "wrong" deserves a private apology.... a very public "wrong" deserves a very public apology... it's a very simple equation IMO
I would never publicly shame anyone I would've kept this mess in the family. I would've been devastated if my only living son ended up w my dead sons fiance how weird. It would be very hard for me to swallow but I would do it for the sake of my son and keep my grief to myself.
NTA. The family needs this, "Confess your sins if you wish to be free of them".
Nope. They don't get to set the rules. They either make it right or you two go on living your lives without them. Grief is not a free pass to treat others like crap. Good for the couple. I hope they continue to be happy in their drama free lives. If they do let them back in, expect that peace to disappear.
Since the family won't apologize of their own volition for their excessively crappy behavior. Record the phone calls or take any messages sent privately and post them publicly. Showing how mom and sis are begging for forgiveness bcuz they know they screwed up. If they want to be petty, then just be pettier.
I wouldn't accept any form of apology from them. Mourning/Grief does not excuse what they did.They deliberately used your child's existence to prove a point by spreading rumors and false accusations about you both to family and passersby alike which in turn got so bad that you and your new family had to move. NTA!
They sound sorry for the consequences, are they sorry for their actions? Time to own it, publicly, like their accusations were.
The damage they did, needs to be on the net and on a local cantankerous AM band community show. You are nuts, let the Holy Squirrel Marauders take you home. Manipulative as Hell! NTA!
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If you can't take accountability for your actions, it means you probably don't think what you did is bad. If you forgive them too easily, this kind of thing might happen again.
... fück them... Seriously, I don't even see a point in wanting them back. How carelessly they attempted to ruin both your reputation, and now they're just cowarding out of telling the people who believed their lies that these were, just, lies? Fück them, in the Äss and Eyes and everywhere, unless it contributes to their pleasure - whereever that, not there. All else.
If they were truly remorseful for their actions, they wouldn't need to be asked to make a public apology. Decent people step up to the plate and take responsibility for what they did.
NTA, but also...yuck. Maybe it's just me, but I could never imagine ever touching another woman that has been with my brother. Even if I met her years after they broke up, just finding out that they were once intimate would instantly turn me off. It just grosses me out, like being with my own sister lol, eww. I imagine my brothers "cooties" all over her lol. In high school we once were really into the same girl, he was older and drove a car so she chose him. Instantly the attraction I had for her died, she became like a sister and the thought of me dating her was just sickening to me. After they broke up she tried to hook up with me, yuck, big nope. No amount of time passing, beauty, or charm could ever remove the disgust of being with a woman who has been intimate with any of my brothers.
So if you forgave them w/o a public apology, what are they going to give as a reason for the reconcliation? "We decided to forgive them, we're SO big hearted,time to let bygones be bygones"?
You really already know that you shouldn't be around these selfish people. They should have set things right with everyone else first and corrected the record, then come to you humbly, apologized profusely and asked you what else they can do to make it right. Instead they want to tell you what they aren't willing to do. Back then it was about them, and now it is still about them. Love and family have nothing to do with it.
NTA absolutely not the AH here ya family is n embarrassed to apologize for what ppl would think of them n they deserve every bit of hell ya give em. I'd not backdown make em do the apology ya way or no need to see ya family. They disowned ya n suddenly want to take it back sounds very fishy n they all need to accept n support or be out of ya lives for good. The dad is probably getting hell from the mother so he's sayin its petty. No it's not they were heartless foul a*s f***s n should be treated as they done u. Treat others how ya wana be treated n they disowned ya's n now comes the want n apologies!? Nah lol
Yeah, gotta give your obviously not sorry family the chance to do that to your grandkid, it will be so good for the kid to learn how to be toxic and hateful and not take responsibility for his actions
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They took it upon themselves to smear innocents. Some attorneys would have made a Field Day out of that. Yet they chose to distance themselves. This is not a let bygones be bygones situation. All the people in the town got served that "Stew". So they are absolutely correct in demanding the retraction. All it would take would be to go to the Churches they attend and standing at the lectern start by saying " Forget us Father, for we have sinned." Yeah, that one right there, yep.
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"the people who believed those vile lies aren't truly your friends anyway" and then in the same breath "so let the people who spread those vicious lies back into your life without fixing the damage they did cause obviously spreading lies is way less terrible than believing them" how do people believe such stupid s**t that doesn't hold up under their own logic?
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Nah, cause if this is was a mother and father did to their own son, there is 0 reason to think they won't do similar or worse to the grandson, cutting toxic people out of your life isn't bitterness, stop keeping people in your life that are bad for you for reasons that are that imaginary, "oh, it hurts you to not have this poison" what a stupid sentiment.
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Asking someone to fix the damage they cause isn't hate and bitterness, I'm sorry you think you need to swallow poison instead of expecting people to take responsibility for their actions, and I'm sorry for the damage that will be or has been done to your kids for the sake of keeping toxic irresponsible people in their lives
Load More Replies... Naw not a pos. By any reading. They didn't see each other except by chance and felt a connection. Way after. It's actually fairly common throughout human history. Pick up a book and stop getting your societal ideals from the back of your own imaginings...
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No it doesn't. It sounds like when a toddler says sorry after mommy makes them. Greif may make you do something in a moment, but you don't get to wait 3 years and expect everything to be fine
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It was 3 years after the brother had died before they got together, as much as it's a terrible loss they have had more than enough time to get out of this irrational grief. A public apology is hardly even unreasonable.
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Not really, considering that the whole post revolves around that. Both of them slowly moved on, it's not like his dead brothers fiancee wouldn't have dated anyone else. And they married each other 3 years after his brother's death.
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How would you have them do a public apology not on the internet? What a sign in the town square and ring a bell? Call everyone they told and then the people those others told and so on?
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Quite a lot of people do, given the right circumstances. OP's dead brother's fiancee, who technically is no longer his fiancee, being married to OP, moved on after 3 years. If she found herself liking her then dead fiance's brother, and he shared the same feeling, then let them be happy. They're happy like this, it's not like he married her 1 week after his brother's death.
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Probably because of the very public lies that they were spreading around to everyone. It would allow those that they told those lies to know that the horrible things said were fabricated. Sometimes rumors like that can be very damaging, especially in a small town setting.
Load More Replies... NTA. If the family truly cared, they would fall over themselves to make it right again. Instead, they want a pass for their horrible actions and statements. A real apology includes atonement.
Actually, if they really cared, they would never have started that garbage in the 1st place.
Load More Replies... They publicly shamed you to the point where you felt your only option was to move away and break ties with all of them, and now they're asking why *you* are being so hard on *them*? They're lucky you're even entertaining this.
They MOVED! The family situation was so bad they uprooted their lives! Exactly what you are saying except it needs more exclamation points!
Load More Replies... I live in a small town myself. You absolutely need a public apology after something like this. Just privately apologizing won't clean up the mess, their reputation is still going to be in the toilet.
It is, at the same time, absurdly sad and hilarious when people are triggered to the point of gatekeeping and gaslighting because they have to be held accountable for their actions. Apologizing for lies, slander and character assassination is simply reparative justice. These narcissists are worried about how it may affect peoples perception of them and cannot even see the irony of how their actions caused the same damage. With their lies they made their son and DIL such pariahs that both had to move away, relegated to personas non grata in their community.
If they don't want to publish the apology online, then spread the apology (with additional info to why they said what they said) to the whole town, and when your acquaintance in the next town over (of course someone they don't know of) hears gossip of the apology, then you can schedule a get together.
I love how every reason the family gave for wanting to make amends all circled back to wanting to make themselves feel better. They're not worried about any kind of damage control for the son and his wife.
NTA Sometimes when horrific rumors and lies are spread it can be very damaging to the people they are against, especially in a smaller town setting. With the apology being more public and forcing them to own up to the nastiness it will filter through the grapevine and control most of the damage done by their viciousness.
Public shaming = public apology. If they refuse, I would cut them out of my life until they complied. No public apology = no access to grandchildren, EVER...
Nobody gets to decide whether someone else should accept an apology. NTA.
They had no problem slandering you and shaming you to everyone, so they should learn some humility. Otherwise your family, children included, will be treated the same as before by everyone. Moving on quickly?! It sounds like you and your wife didn't even talk for three years after his death! How can they make that connection?
I think its a little messed up you got with your brothers girl at all. But i also understand that love does what it wants. However the family reaction is way too much. I can see just not talking to you but the lies and stuff too much and i would agree public apologizes would be necessary after all they publicly shamed you but now they wont apologize for it. That's messed up.
In the Bible, it was a responsibility for unwed brothers to take up the widow of the deceased and give them children, so I guess this messed up thing was admirable at one point.
Load More Replies... And the elephant in the room is that OP and his now wife also experienced deep grief at the loss of their brother and fiance. And yet the family don't care for their grief or understand that that experience may be partially what has bonded them strongly together- that's actually keeping the memory of their loved one alive.
How this could have been a different outcome, by the Mother embracing Mia as the daughter in law but through the other brother. Could have been seen as a win-win for both women. A DIL and grandchildren, just a different son. It's happens so often, it's not rare. I had a relative, an uncle marries a widow with a 5 yr old daughter, he suddenly dies when her daughter is a teenager, his baby bro is helping her get back on her feet, they develvope 'feelings' they then marry, he's much younger, but it works for them.
Restitution is not too much to ask for. Public humiliation, public apology
He is not the a-hole here. His mother and sister ruined his reputation in their town and the least they can do is come clean about the fact that nothing they said was true. I live in a small town and lies like this linger for a long time. If they were really sorry about their behavior and ready to make amends, they would do what he asked and make the public apology.
If they are truly sorry this shouldn’t be an issue for them. If they are saying sorry to get to see the grandkids then it’s not genuine.
They were allllllll for humiliating OP and wife for literally no reason, but now that they've "had a change of heart" they want THEM to drop it without the public's knowledge?!?! EFF. THAT. ESS.
the dad said that its hartless to humiliate the family but it was perfectly acceptable for the family to humiliate op though wasnt it?
People who are that vindictive, inappropriate, and manipulative, don't change. I really would be worried that they would worm their way back into their lives, just to manipulate, and lie, to their grandchildren/niece/nephew. I would be concerned that might start confusing the kids into thinking the uncle is their real dad. It wouldn't be the first time I've heard of it happening. Even if they apologize, the fact remains that if they feel hurt, or confused, they lash out, and lie. That's dangerous territory.
I would insist on the public apology! You absolutely deserve to have your name cleared, but more than that; I've learned the hard way, again, and again, do not listen to words, look at actions. I don't see any real sorrow or attempts at amends. I just see people telling you what to want to hear while ignoring your boundaries to gain access to something they want. Protect your child, your wife, & yourself. Make them turn their words to action, and if they won't call the police when they show up!
One point, if I read this gs correctly, was that OP had to move after the family's rumors because their reputation was so badly smeared. Then their argument going public is that they don't want their reputation to suffer? They need to repair the damage they did to OP and his family's reputation and until they can do that, keep them at [however many miles away] length.
NTA. I don't know if I would even *consider* forgiving them after that. Grief is grief but it cannot be an excuse for spreading vicious lies about own family members.
This. In my family the families behaviour would be grounds for "excommunication". We'd cut them out like a sore or weed and tell em to piss off.
Load More Replies... NTA.. they had no problem publicly lying about you. They should apologize and tell the world what jerks they were publicly.
A private "wrong" deserves a private apology.... a very public "wrong" deserves a very public apology... it's a very simple equation IMO
I would never publicly shame anyone I would've kept this mess in the family. I would've been devastated if my only living son ended up w my dead sons fiance how weird. It would be very hard for me to swallow but I would do it for the sake of my son and keep my grief to myself.
NTA. The family needs this, "Confess your sins if you wish to be free of them".
Nope. They don't get to set the rules. They either make it right or you two go on living your lives without them. Grief is not a free pass to treat others like crap. Good for the couple. I hope they continue to be happy in their drama free lives. If they do let them back in, expect that peace to disappear.
Since the family won't apologize of their own volition for their excessively crappy behavior. Record the phone calls or take any messages sent privately and post them publicly. Showing how mom and sis are begging for forgiveness bcuz they know they screwed up. If they want to be petty, then just be pettier.
I wouldn't accept any form of apology from them. Mourning/Grief does not excuse what they did.They deliberately used your child's existence to prove a point by spreading rumors and false accusations about you both to family and passersby alike which in turn got so bad that you and your new family had to move. NTA!
They sound sorry for the consequences, are they sorry for their actions? Time to own it, publicly, like their accusations were.
The damage they did, needs to be on the net and on a local cantankerous AM band community show. You are nuts, let the Holy Squirrel Marauders take you home. Manipulative as Hell! NTA!
Load More Replies... If you can't take accountability for your actions, it means you probably don't think what you did is bad. If you forgive them too easily, this kind of thing might happen again.
... fück them... Seriously, I don't even see a point in wanting them back. How carelessly they attempted to ruin both your reputation, and now they're just cowarding out of telling the people who believed their lies that these were, just, lies? Fück them, in the Äss and Eyes and everywhere, unless it contributes to their pleasure - whereever that, not there. All else.
If they were truly remorseful for their actions, they wouldn't need to be asked to make a public apology. Decent people step up to the plate and take responsibility for what they did.
NTA, but also...yuck. Maybe it's just me, but I could never imagine ever touching another woman that has been with my brother. Even if I met her years after they broke up, just finding out that they were once intimate would instantly turn me off. It just grosses me out, like being with my own sister lol, eww. I imagine my brothers "cooties" all over her lol. In high school we once were really into the same girl, he was older and drove a car so she chose him. Instantly the attraction I had for her died, she became like a sister and the thought of me dating her was just sickening to me. After they broke up she tried to hook up with me, yuck, big nope. No amount of time passing, beauty, or charm could ever remove the disgust of being with a woman who has been intimate with any of my brothers.
So if you forgave them w/o a public apology, what are they going to give as a reason for the reconcliation? "We decided to forgive them, we're SO big hearted,time to let bygones be bygones"?
You really already know that you shouldn't be around these selfish people. They should have set things right with everyone else first and corrected the record, then come to you humbly, apologized profusely and asked you what else they can do to make it right. Instead they want to tell you what they aren't willing to do. Back then it was about them, and now it is still about them. Love and family have nothing to do with it.
NTA absolutely not the AH here ya family is n embarrassed to apologize for what ppl would think of them n they deserve every bit of hell ya give em. I'd not backdown make em do the apology ya way or no need to see ya family. They disowned ya n suddenly want to take it back sounds very fishy n they all need to accept n support or be out of ya lives for good. The dad is probably getting hell from the mother so he's sayin its petty. No it's not they were heartless foul a*s f***s n should be treated as they done u. Treat others how ya wana be treated n they disowned ya's n now comes the want n apologies!? Nah lol
Yeah, gotta give your obviously not sorry family the chance to do that to your grandkid, it will be so good for the kid to learn how to be toxic and hateful and not take responsibility for his actions
Load More Replies... They took it upon themselves to smear innocents. Some attorneys would have made a Field Day out of that. Yet they chose to distance themselves. This is not a let bygones be bygones situation. All the people in the town got served that "Stew". So they are absolutely correct in demanding the retraction. All it would take would be to go to the Churches they attend and standing at the lectern start by saying " Forget us Father, for we have sinned." Yeah, that one right there, yep.
Load More Replies... "the people who believed those vile lies aren't truly your friends anyway" and then in the same breath "so let the people who spread those vicious lies back into your life without fixing the damage they did cause obviously spreading lies is way less terrible than believing them" how do people believe such stupid s**t that doesn't hold up under their own logic?
Load More Replies... Nah, cause if this is was a mother and father did to their own son, there is 0 reason to think they won't do similar or worse to the grandson, cutting toxic people out of your life isn't bitterness, stop keeping people in your life that are bad for you for reasons that are that imaginary, "oh, it hurts you to not have this poison" what a stupid sentiment.
Load More Replies... Asking someone to fix the damage they cause isn't hate and bitterness, I'm sorry you think you need to swallow poison instead of expecting people to take responsibility for their actions, and I'm sorry for the damage that will be or has been done to your kids for the sake of keeping toxic irresponsible people in their lives
Load More Replies... Naw not a pos. By any reading. They didn't see each other except by chance and felt a connection. Way after. It's actually fairly common throughout human history. Pick up a book and stop getting your societal ideals from the back of your own imaginings...
Load More Replies... No it doesn't. It sounds like when a toddler says sorry after mommy makes them. Greif may make you do something in a moment, but you don't get to wait 3 years and expect everything to be fine
Load More Replies... It was 3 years after the brother had died before they got together, as much as it's a terrible loss they have had more than enough time to get out of this irrational grief. A public apology is hardly even unreasonable.
Load More Replies... Not really, considering that the whole post revolves around that. Both of them slowly moved on, it's not like his dead brothers fiancee wouldn't have dated anyone else. And they married each other 3 years after his brother's death.
Load More Replies... How would you have them do a public apology not on the internet? What a sign in the town square and ring a bell? Call everyone they told and then the people those others told and so on?
Load More Replies... Quite a lot of people do, given the right circumstances. OP's dead brother's fiancee, who technically is no longer his fiancee, being married to OP, moved on after 3 years. If she found herself liking her then dead fiance's brother, and he shared the same feeling, then let them be happy. They're happy like this, it's not like he married her 1 week after his brother's death.
Load More Replies... Probably because of the very public lies that they were spreading around to everyone. It would allow those that they told those lies to know that the horrible things said were fabricated. Sometimes rumors like that can be very damaging, especially in a small town setting.
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