“I’d Do It Again”: Husband Can’t Stand Wife Being ‘Chronically Late’, So He Decides To Teach Her A Lesson
Nobody’s perfect. But that doesn’t mean you can just do whatever and say “I can’t help it, it’s who I am.” Especially when your actions are negatively affecting those around you.
Recently, Reddit user Striking_Still_3721 submitted a post to the “Am I The A***ole?” community about his wife not respecting other people’s time. You see, the man’s spouse is constantly late. No matter where she goes, everyone—her husband included—always has to adjust to her timing.
So one time, when the two of them were at the mall and the woman was shopping as if she was on her own, Striking_Still_3721 decided that enough was enough and simply ditched her.
However, when the couple reunited, they immediately got into a fight and now the Redditor isn’t sure if it’s his wife’s defense mechanism why she opposes him or if he genuinely misjudged the situation and acted like a jerk. Here’s what he wrote.
Ditching your spouse at a mall sounds like a horrible thing to do
Image credits: rawpixel (not the actual photo)
And this man wasn’t sure if he had the right, so he asked the internet to be the judge of his actions
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
If what Striking_Still_3721 says is true, his wife definitely has a difficult relationship with punctuality. According to research commissioned by St Pierre Bakery, the average adult starts to feel stressed if they are just 10 minutes late for a social event or meeting.
A study of 3,000 American adults found “early is on time,” with more than half admitting they are “obsessed” with timekeeping.
Anything past 13 minutes is considered “late,” and 56% of respondents plan ahead to ensure they are never running behind schedule.
60% swear by being early, with 39% believing it’s socially unacceptable to be late at all.
However, 7 in 10 friend groups have a person who is especially known to be late, and a quarter admitted they are “that friend.”
47% of those surveyed said they have sneakily told these friends that a meeting time was earlier than it was actually scheduled, so if they showed up late they were actually somewhat on time. Which is understandable considering that it only takes 5 times of being late for people to feel upset with you.
On the flip side, more than a third pride themselves on being typically early to social events or meetings, while 45% are usually “on time.”
But half of the respondents admitted they have been criticized for their time-keeping habits — whether too early or too late.
Interestingly, the covid lockdown has made people “slower” (35%) and 55% of them have enjoyed not having the pressure of being somewhere at a specific time.
The study also discovered the most used excuses for being late included blaming the traffic (37%), a morning alarm not going off (33%), and the car not starting (32%).
Americans typically feel anxious (43%), annoyed (36%), and concerned (28%) if it’s looking like they’re going to be running late somewhere, while the top occasions and events people stress about not making in time include job interviews (33%), medical appointments (31%) and the airport (29%).
While men are more likely to feel embarrassed and anxious about being late, women—just like Striking_Still_3721’s wife—are more likely to laugh it off.
However, as we can see, this doesn’t always work.
People think the husband did nothing wrong
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NTA... but I highly doubt she's learned a lesson. Problem is that nobody holds themselves accountable for their terrible behavior and they excuse it with the whole "I am who I am" off the cuff quip. "I am who I am" is a wonderful way to love yourself in certain instances but should not be used as a catch all excuse for toxic character defects/lack of respect for others when a bit of effort could better the circumstances.
I have a chronically-late sister-in-law. The family got tired of "dinner starts at 6" means "Everyone but Jessie arrives at 6 and waits until 7:30 or 8:00 for Jessie and then we all start eating" so now it means "dinner starts at 6 and Jessie eats alone when she arrives". Her lateness HAS gotten better, in fact much better, but the main difference is that we're not mad at her when she shows up late any more.
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Why are you married again? I would go to the movies and tell my wife beforehand, no drama. If she can't do it before the movie starts, she'll just have to live with it.
"Why are you married"? Probably because people base their marriages on more than just whether or not you have the same concept of tardiness....
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NTA. My parents were both chronically late to the point where I was waiting at an after school activity so long the cops had to be called. It didn’t stop, they were routinely 3, 5, and 8 hours late picking me up at the airport when I would come home from college, I’m not sure why they even bothered buying me a plane ticket, I almost always waited longer than the flight home took. I finally stopped going home at all. My poor younger brother has horrible anxiety about being on time now.
She's not a child, you can't "teach her a lesson" and expect it to stick, especially if she doesn't see the need to change. She doesn't seem to respect his boundaries and he really doesn't talk that fondly of her. They should go to couple's therapy and see if the relationship is worth working on.
Yeah, the relationship sounds doomed to me too. They should divorce before they have kids and make everything 1000 times worse.
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That's what I thought of as well. It seems like the wife knows that he's anxious about being late and is deliberately making him wait. For those that don't know the story: https://ppando.cumbresblogs.com/files/2015/03/The-Way-Up-To-Heaven-preintermediate.pdf
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As someone who is often late (due to anxiety), I don't mind people running late at all but there's a difference between being anxious/busy/time getting away from you and being disrespectful and selfish. I couldn't handle being married to someone like that.
To Go, you have a valid reason for being late. You take responsibility for yourself & are courteous to others. You're absolutely right bout there being a difference in what motivates this behavior
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tbh i would have left for a trip to france and left her on the elevator stuck between the second and third floor
While this could be neurological it really doesn't sound like it is here. It sounds like someone with no respect for other people's time or schedule. Most people I've encountered like this are just self centred. I always say if you can get to work on time and hold down a job there's no excuse to be late for everything else.
I jate to say it but she's toxic. She's definitely going to push back but you have to stay strong. Tell her when you are leaving and leave at that time no mater what. Take separate vehicles if you can. If not then leave without her. This is a form of abuse you know. She is saying she doesn't care about you and you dont matter everytime she does this and thats mentally abusive. Its demeaning. Stand up for yourself. She is going to try to wear you down by pretending to make an attempt but continuously at the last second say " oh wait I just have too...." and try to make it seem like its normal. Don't fall for it. She'll say things like "you dont have to worry about hair and makeup and..." piss poor excuses. You know you want to do that stuff then you know you need to start getting ready at a certain time. The train leaves the station. You are either on board or not because I have respect for myself and for the other people we have made arrangements with.
You absolutely did the right thing. I've dealt with that before, son's GF. I said to her one day, a lot of people take time to run you around all because of your incompetence. You only you lost your license. The next time I come to take you somewhere and you don't come out the door immediately I'm gone. So as usual you didn't come out the door. That was your last ride from me.
Me being late, omg I forgot this, oh and that, nooo, this other thing... I purposefully try to make myself get ready an hour before I think I need to, and I'm stressed the whole time I'm running behind, hating myself for being slow and forgetful. It's a completely different story when you're browsing jeans and know the movies starting and casually just keep going. You should honestly go to events in separate cars. When I had a partner he helped me keep on time which I appreciate, your wife seems to be using her lateness as a way to hold power in the relationship. (Shopping longer is not really a reason to be late, and if you regularly take 2 hours to get dressed and makeup on you know how long to start ahead of when you should be leaving).
Her behavior with trying on the jeans is rude. But I have chronic illness and OCD anxiety and PTSD which can cause me to be late. I try but sometimes it is impossible to get out of the house.
This is Passive aggressive behavior . My late husband used to try this. He would show up late and expect people to wait for him because HE was the important one. I refused to play along.
THIS was just one of the reasons I divorced my ex. I will NEVER tolerate ANYONE making ME late unless it is a FRACKING REAL EMERGENCY...
NTA. If she had any respect or even common courtesy for anyone other than herself, you would act like like the grown woman she is and get it together. My husband used to do the same thing to me with his disregard for time. So I starting going places by myself. There was no screaming or yelling. I told him if he's not ready by such and such time, I'm going without him, and I do. My hubby likes to deflect and not take responsibility for anything. This is a way to make him accountable for his own actions.
I've stopped making arrangements w/ people in m' circle that I know to be chronically late- the " Fool Me Once..." thing. We can all be late due to unforeseen events, but the considerate thing ta do is notify those waiting on you ASAP. Period. Not Rocket Science. I'm wondering what other marital problems this couple has as the wife's missing a few chips in her hard drive where empathy is concerned- these people aren't likely to change because they're incapable of accurate self- appraisal. I see pain in this man's future
I tend to run late but decided that a watch, giving myself more time to get ready, recognizing the effect of my tardiness on other people all helped me to start to change
Someone who is consistently late (and will make you late) doesn't appear to respect the fact that your time is as valuable as theirs is. I think you did the right thing....perhaps the next time she'll hurry along a little more and have more consideration and respect for you. Sitting there on a bench is a little childish and spiteful....a shame she missed a movie she could have come in late too(although other movie goers might not appreciate it)
I suspect the movie was almost over before she got to the theater. At that point she could admit she screwed up or try to shift some blame to him for abandoning her. Guess which she chose.
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definitely NTA ! I have a real fear of being late so I never accept offered rides to airports or events because a lot of my friends seem to have a very cavalier approach to time keeping. All except for one friend who I trust implicitly, if she says she will be on time for something she will arrive early. Just to show it can be done
This is frustrating behaviour... has she tried ADHD medication? Because sometimes an inability to switch tasks or adhere to a schedule can be a symptom. I'm not saying she shouldn't be held accountable, but if it is a symptom, there are medications, and coping strategies that might help her manage her behaviour.
My mother is ALWAY late.Recently,my daughter got married.My mother insisted she would do the flowers(ring of flowers for bride's hair and her bouquet).On the morning I finished the wedding cake(couldn't be decorated til the last minute or the icing flowers would melt),delivered it to the venue organised bar.Came home ,greeted friends/family from out of town,made phone calls, organized lots of little things,Before getting dressed,I thought I better check that my mother was ready.She was,not dressed,holding half the flower ring ,with flowers spread all over the bed!! So with 45 mins til start time ,I sent her off to get ready and had to make the ring & bouquet, from scratch then rush to get ready myself.AND we STILL had to wait for her to do her make up! We arrived 5 minutes before the wedding,looking like I had thrown my clothes on(which I had),to a VERY stressed daughter waiting on her flowers.My mother,oblivious to the stress she had caused,looked calm and relaxed as usual.
In a parenting class, a single Mom was having an issue with her 9 yo daughter making her late for work by not being dressed & in the car by 7:20. The instructor said that no child died showing up to school in pajamas. So have a bag with pop tarts and a change of clothng/ toothpaste & brush. Tell the girl if she wants to choose her clothes for the day, she better be ready and in the car. You can be trained by them or they can be trained by the parent. There was a Mother behind us who said it was her husband that cause the delay, he was in charge of getting toddler ready as the daycare was on 'mom's' way, he went to work in the opposite direction. The instructor told the class that yes it works on spouses and co-workers the same way it does on children--Ha-Ha.
NTA! I have been chronically late due to my IBS, chronic pain, and other health issues. My friends almost kicked me off our D&D campaign because I was always 5-15 mins late. So now I started getting ready about an hour early, I'm either on time or a little early, and it feels so nice to not have to rush! Plus I always felt really bad about even being 5 mins late. But I finally told my friends that my lateness was because I was on the toilet, so they're more understanding about it. I could not imagine being late just because I was shopping, picking an outfit, doing makeup, etc. That just shows selfishness and a lack of respect for everyone else's time.
Honestly I can’t handle people who are late and have to waste my time. Even my friend says “let’s go gym. Meet at My place at 8pm” i show up ready to go. He’s not dressed, gym bag not packed and starting to cook some food… We go to weekly meetings in morning. I know he likes to go early because it’s important to him. I always make him wait 10 minutes for me to arrive so we can car pool. Waste my time I’ll waste yours haha
OP NTA... I am the late one. But if my hubby said said movies about to start, my reaction wouldn't be "just a minute" it would've been time to purchase and go. As far as her in the lobby, I bet the movie was 3/4 over before she realized at which point she decided to attempt to save face by blaming him for leaving. If, and I do mean if, she is willing to work with her husband she should both get counseling (she has issues that interfere with life, including losing friends) and work with her husband on strategies for both their peace and happiness. For my hubby and I that was I state how long I need to get ready. He then tells me what time I should get ready and what rime we are leaving to get to x by y time. Thing is, there is a buffer built into the travel time, so if my get ready time extends into it, I hurry to grab and go before the now stated real leave time is done. Nowadays I'm typically ready close to first ready time and we both are happy
I lived with a woman that was always late. I'm always early, and I won't make people wait for me if I can help it. But my ex would be 3 hours late going to court, and her father was a lawyer. She was perpetually lat e for work. Late coming to pick me up. Late when I would go to pick her up. She was never on time for anything at all in her life it used to really bug me, but then I just accepted it, thats just how it was going to be if I wanted her in my life. It lasted a couple of years. Then we split.
While the wife clearly sucks here I'm confused as to how this apparently suddenly started happening only after they got married? Like wasn't she chronically late to their dates or anything? On their wedding day?
NTA My wife is also chronically late. I don't feel like it comes from a selfish place but any time I try to address it, she gets super defensive and shuts down. One of her, I can't believe people are so rude stories involves her friends mom that gave her a ride to school everyday. She was always making them late by 5-15 minutes so one day they got tired of waiting drove off without her and she had to walk to school. I used to sympathize with her and this story but after knowing her this long I understand why the lady drove off on her.
As a person who is almost always late, I think you were right to do this. I understand your anxiety. My anxiety is just the opposite. I have social anxiety, so if I get somewhere early and I have to wait my instant instinct is to leave because my heart and mind start racing with all the "what-ifs". BUT, if any of my family members start to give me warnings about running late, I feel guilty, and I don't think it's fair to punish them with MY anxieties. If I had been ditched, I would be upset just at myself because I know I deserved it.
And he didn't have to get a divorced but it looked into counseling something for her or them and if she improves cool if not then yeah he can leave it's no big deal she needs to understand the world don't revolve around her and the sooner she figures it out the better because I'm assuming she doesn't work and he does and that's where the money comes from otherwise how else can she get away with being late to everything but if he leaves and she has to start working she better figure out how to be on time or she won't have a job.
NTA... But it was a bit passive-aggressive. Why not just say, "the movie has started and I'm heading over. You can catch up when you want to?" There was no reason to ditch her.
Because then an argument would have started as she would have tried to force him to wait, is what can be inferred from dealing with people like this
Load More Replies... I used to say my ex-husband would be late for his funeral. It drove me crazy. We used to call it by his last name as in there is normal time then there is Smith time. The worst part was, even after the divorce my three children would telle Smith time for a year, when I went to their events. I would show up " early" because they treated me like it had been my problem. I had to tell all three of them to stop it. People who do this are often narcissist who do not care about all the work some events require. When it is a chronic problem, it's best to notice it before marriage. Family both his and mine began lying about times. I even lied but even then we would be late. It is rude. It is embarrassing. Sometimes just leaving them a few tes to be " on time" will stop the behavior. Good luck
I was fully ready to be on her side. As someone with ADHD, I am chronically late and it really stresses me out when people try to push me to get ready faster. I am going as fast as I can, I am already stressed. And I hate being late, and it usually triggers feelings of shame and frustration with myself. I do actually put in the effort to be on time and I’ve gotten better at it with practice. But her response is just plain selfish. And the whole dramatic show of waiting in the lobby for being ditched is totally childish. Not a hopeless situation, but she needs therapy.
I would be very curious to hear the wife's side of the story. I say this because sometimes very punctual people assume that chronically late people do it bc they lack respect for others. When often it is undiagnosed (Or diagnosed) mental illness such as ADHD, anxiety, or social phobia, etc. I was chronically late until last year, when I finally got treated for ADHD And anxiety. After a lifetime of struggling, I was FINALLY able to think more clearly and remember to look at the clock more often. (Combination of therapy and medication). We aren't late because we think other peoples time is less valuable. it stems from an inability to be organized, estimate time (read: time blindness), or manage our emotions. i don't think its ok to be late, and I hate making other people wait. Absolutely hate it. But I couldn't not do it. It felt like I had no control over it. I always cared though. Obviously if the wife really didn't Care, that's just entitlement. I just wish we could hear that from her.
NTA as someone who HAS TO be at least 15 minutes early for EVERYTHING, ALWAYS....just reading this post gave me anxiety. My ex was like this, leaving the house at 3:30 for a 3:30 doctors appointment, thinking that the doctor will "get him in when he gets there," until the doctor stopped seeing him if he came in late. He learned that if he wanted to be seen, he had to be on time. He learned his lesson.
Under the comment that says Why couldn't she buy her own movie ticket when she finally realized that you had gone ahead to the movies? How come his response is 4 years ago but the original comment was 9 days ago?
I'm not sure why it says 4 years on here, but if you go to the actual Reddit post, it says the reply was 9 days ago.
Load More Replies... Sounds like she's passive aggressive. I have a relative who likes to think he's important. When you're out with him he'll start conversations with people and keep going and make you wait anywhere from 15 minutes to literally hours. It makes him feel important to have people waiting for him and he'll act like a weasel if you call him on it.
NTA. I am chronically late, but I am always rushing around TRYING to be on time. Doesn't seem to matter if I start getting ready ten mins early or an hour early, I'm still late, or at least rushed. It's like the last 10 mins just disappears or goes twice as fast. That being said, I am aware and I am working on myself as best I can - I've gone from 30-45 m down to 0-15m. We ALL have things we need to work on. BUT I would NEVER be going to try on more clothes when already late, nor would I brush off my partner's anxiety. That's just AH behaviour. At worst, I might ask the clerk to put something on hold for me and we would try to catch most of the previews.
This is my wife. We were at a restaurant the other night and I had already cleared two plates (buffet) and she had still made barely a dent. Finally, I was like, Honey, I think they want to close. "No they don't." "Honey, we're the only ones still here." She she proceeded to eat jello in the slowest manner I have ever seen. As we were walking out, the employees started putting the chairs on the tables. We are ALWAYS the last to leave anywhere. Late to get there and last to leave. Don't matter what. Daughter's graduation they literally turned off the stadium lights to get us to leave.
Nope. My partner can be a bit like that, he just has no concept for time. Drives me nuts. When we are invited places, I sometimes tell him a time a half hour early so we can be on time for it. Other times I will just go on ahead. We are a couple, not joint at the hip, so he can be late if he can't get his thing together but I won't. Also, why didn't she just go the movie theater herself? I would have left her a text message though.
We had this in church. Small home group. I ran and hurried to be in time with 3 kids and then some lazy single women would show up an hour late, cause they had to sleep longer and do their make up and everyone had to wait until they finally showed up. The home group doesn't exist anymore.
There's a big difference between poor time management, it's a common aspect of folk that have ADD or ADHD, and not respecting others. Those with poor time management are just bad at being organised to be on time. Your wife shows no respect for your movie time together, that's completely different, and not something you should put up with. She's just acting completely self absorbed with no respect for you or others.
In kindergarten (so maybe 4-5 yo, long before the days of cellphones), I routinely carpooled with my best friend to/from school. One day, I was under the (apparently mistaken) impression that my mother would be picking me up, so I did not go with my best friend. Two hours go by. One of the aides has to look up my address, and drives me home herself. In front of the aide, my emotionally abusive mother was all smiling and cheerful. "Oh, *there* you are!" As soon as the aide left, my mother berated me for "embarrassing her like that." Even at 5 yo, I looked my mother in the eye and said, "It never occurred to you to wonder where I was for the last two hours? You weren't even worried?!" She passed two years ago, and I don't miss her.
'Everybody Loves Raymond' episode - 'Lateness' - where Ray leaves for the sports banquet without Debra at 6 p.m. - when 'all azzes must be in seats.'
NTA for what you did but you are a DA (D for dumb) for marrying her without getting this issue resolved. You honestly did this to yourself. You forgot the #1 relationship rule of life! Never try to change the other person. You either accept them as they are or you change yourself. If not, then you are incompatible...
Lucky this btch is not a wive of some rich and famous... Or else many more going to suffer under such selfish btch..
My mom takes hours to get ready. Once, when I was home visiting, my stepdad and I decided to tell her we were planning on leaving at 6:30 the next morning to miss traffic. (Touristy type day trip) We were planning on leaving at 8:00. She was ready by 8:15. She can't help it, and we didn't want to make her feel bad.
he knew she was always late when he was dating her; if he married her, he had an obligation to accept that, not try to change that or get upset by it
EVERY time someone tells me about how horrible their ex was, I ask if they changed during their marriage, or if they were like that before, and in EVERY instance, they were like that before they were married
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There's issues like adhd and then there is narcissistic aholes, sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference between them... except the former usually apologizes and shows some anxiety for them being late. The wife in the story is dismissive, her needs come first, now that still could be a distraction issue, but again it's all about her with sitting on the bench in some sort of play to make him feel guilty. Conscious or not, she doesn't see her husband as worthy? Equal? Or a simple lack of respect for him and others. She's a princess who doesn't care about others. Both my hubby and I share the show up early mentality thankfully, since we're both anxious about being late. Mine from a childhood of being late for everything, partly due to a step-hag who did it deliberately, and simply a very busy father when he wasn't being delayed by her. It of course annoys me to no end when others do it to me, but I try to take into account why they might be late. Like if I know they're "flighty
I remember my first few "adult" years when I showed up for family things on time. Everyone was still getting ready and nowhere near ready to accept others. I learned everyone in my life was chronically late to the point of it being an expectation. I haven't been to one of those gatherings in years. Who has time for that crap?
My sister use to pull this s**t regularly, so we began to lie to her about when things closed and travel time involved, we also made her meet us, if we had to catch a ferry, we would meet her at the ferry, putting the responsibility back on her, so she stopped making every one late. Being late is a form of passive aggression and attempt of control. Once we took the false reality away, she stopped thinking it would work.
I would have gone insane over such conduct within days. So happy that both myself and my husband value being on time. Which for us is 10 minutes early.
What I always do is tell the person that the time is an hour earlier and then we make it on time
The OP could have done better at communicating his boundaries. While at the store, something like, "I'm heading to the theater in 10 minutes. If you need more time, I can save you a seat." And then actually going through with it. Also it sounds like he turned off his phone while he was walking away, cutting off communication. If that's the case, not cool. Seems childish in my mind, though maybe that's partially because I'm not the type of person to fully turn off my phone at the movies (on silent in my pocket is as good as off to me). Communication is super important when setting and enforcing boundaries, it's the difference between healthy detachment and stonewalling. Edit in case I was misinterpreted: OP was right to leave her behind. His methods could have been more kind while maintaining the boundary (being on time).
why do everyone's solution move out, get divorced, or you have abusive parents. like dude
I experienced this, too. Dated a woman with the same attitude to time. We arranged to meet somewhere early in our relationship, at 2pm. At 2.25pm I messaged (again) to say I'd had enough waiting and was going home. She called me immediately, panicking, and begged me to stay another 60 sec as she was almost there. When she arrived, she just looked stunned, and told me that her whole life, NO ONE had called her on her lateness ever before. She wasn't late to anything else the entire 2 years we dated
I’m always late to things now and I hate it but I can’t seem to stop. I used to always be 5 mins early to everything because that’s what my parents taught me to do but then I was always hanging around by myself for 5 mins. That’s wasn’t too bad but then the new people I met at uni would always be about half an hour late so I’d be stood around outside a bar, for example, for 40 minutes by myself. Over time, I started to arrive a bit later to limit the time I’d be alone. After 4 years of that, it’s now ingrained in me to show up later. Even though I go places with my husband now I still set off later and it bugs him. I used to set off on time for his sake but then we’d arrive at a friend’s house the time she told everyone to arrive for the get together and she’d be only just starting to get ready so we’d be sat alone in living room with the friend sticking her head out from time to time trying to not ignore us and it was awkward for everyone. Other guests started arrived an hour + later
ESH. She sucks for always being late. He sucks for ditching her in the mall. If he had left the house on time, leaving her behind, I'd say he doesn't suck. And, as others have pointed out, why now? Why 5 years in? Why wasn't this a thing when she made you late the second or third time?
My sister is chronically late. We have "tina-time". There is our time when we will get together and "tina-time" that is earlier so she has a chance of actually being on time. It's no secret. She seems to appreciate that we do this. OP's case is different. They need to have a discussion about behavior and consequences. He needs to be clear that he intends to be on time from now on. She can arrive at her own time, but he prefers her to be with him. He needs to be mindful that women do need more time to get ready. She needs to be respectful of his time and try harder to be on time, or accept the consequence that he will leave without her.
Time blindness is real, and yes as mention can impact neurodiverse people as well as others. (I have ADHD) I hope he has managed to talk to her and explain his feelings and they come to a compromise, and have strategies in place. I often have people tell me that something starts 15 minutes before it does. I have alarms set prior to meetings. My doctors make sure I put appointments in my calendar and also ring me the day before. Time literally can disappear from me.
He was right there, telling her the time, that previews have started, etc. So I'm not sure how this would apply to their situation.
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You married her knowing she was like this and now you're angry. Both are Aholes if you ask me.
No one likes reason. I don't believe your opinion is wanted. Pearls before swine in my opinion
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Chronic lateness may be a symptom of an underlying illness such as ADD. My sister in law has ADD and wonders off, is chronically late etc, drives my brother a bit nuts, but its literally how her brain works. It would be worth seeing if the wife has a similar underlying problem before ascribing it to her not caring about other people's time.
This is true, however the people I know with ADHD actually feel bad about it and at least they make an effort in most cases to correct the behavior. This woman had no problem to get to where she needed to be on time with time to spare to do something she really wanted to do, but when it came time to do what the husband wanted to do - he was disregarded. I feel this changes the dynamic. My son is a 21 year old with ADHD - he gets frustrated at his lateness but he tries and makes effort.
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ESH. Yeah, she's a b***h, but in a different way so is he. And he's enabling her. When it's time to go, you tell her it's time to go, and then you go. The fact that she shuts him down and keeps doing her thing is a symptom of his lack of balls as much as it's a symptom of her character - she's used to getting her way, and nobody does anything to the contrary. Him walking off is just avoidance of the real issue here. Yeah, he got to see the movie, but he still has to go home with her.
I'm amazed that some of the comments are to suggest breaking up the marriage! You only heard one side. And people wonder why this world is the way it is, because of Satanic reasoning! The Greatest Man who ever lived stated: What God has yoked together let no man put apart.” (Matthew 19:6) Nobody has the Right to break up a marriage!
You have no right to preach here. If your God wants to force people to stay miserable in their marriages he can stuff it.
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I'm gonna go against the majority and say that was a d**k move. You're her partner, not her parent, and as such doing a "tough love" move is a display of contempt. You presumably knew about her chronic lateness before you married her. You shouldn't marry someone and then try to change them. You either accept them or you don't. And if you don't, then don't marry them. Find someone you do accept. Don't treat your wife like a child. Either leave her or learn to be happy with her and respect her the way that she is. You may not realize it yet, but you just inflicted great injury to your relationship.
This has disturbing implications for your beliefs about children
Load More Replies... NTA... but I highly doubt she's learned a lesson. Problem is that nobody holds themselves accountable for their terrible behavior and they excuse it with the whole "I am who I am" off the cuff quip. "I am who I am" is a wonderful way to love yourself in certain instances but should not be used as a catch all excuse for toxic character defects/lack of respect for others when a bit of effort could better the circumstances.
I have a chronically-late sister-in-law. The family got tired of "dinner starts at 6" means "Everyone but Jessie arrives at 6 and waits until 7:30 or 8:00 for Jessie and then we all start eating" so now it means "dinner starts at 6 and Jessie eats alone when she arrives". Her lateness HAS gotten better, in fact much better, but the main difference is that we're not mad at her when she shows up late any more.
Load More Replies... Why are you married again? I would go to the movies and tell my wife beforehand, no drama. If she can't do it before the movie starts, she'll just have to live with it.
"Why are you married"? Probably because people base their marriages on more than just whether or not you have the same concept of tardiness....
Load More Replies... NTA. My parents were both chronically late to the point where I was waiting at an after school activity so long the cops had to be called. It didn’t stop, they were routinely 3, 5, and 8 hours late picking me up at the airport when I would come home from college, I’m not sure why they even bothered buying me a plane ticket, I almost always waited longer than the flight home took. I finally stopped going home at all. My poor younger brother has horrible anxiety about being on time now.
She's not a child, you can't "teach her a lesson" and expect it to stick, especially if she doesn't see the need to change. She doesn't seem to respect his boundaries and he really doesn't talk that fondly of her. They should go to couple's therapy and see if the relationship is worth working on.
Yeah, the relationship sounds doomed to me too. They should divorce before they have kids and make everything 1000 times worse.
Load More Replies... That's what I thought of as well. It seems like the wife knows that he's anxious about being late and is deliberately making him wait. For those that don't know the story: https://ppando.cumbresblogs.com/files/2015/03/The-Way-Up-To-Heaven-preintermediate.pdf
Load More Replies... As someone who is often late (due to anxiety), I don't mind people running late at all but there's a difference between being anxious/busy/time getting away from you and being disrespectful and selfish. I couldn't handle being married to someone like that.
To Go, you have a valid reason for being late. You take responsibility for yourself & are courteous to others. You're absolutely right bout there being a difference in what motivates this behavior
Load More Replies... tbh i would have left for a trip to france and left her on the elevator stuck between the second and third floor
While this could be neurological it really doesn't sound like it is here. It sounds like someone with no respect for other people's time or schedule. Most people I've encountered like this are just self centred. I always say if you can get to work on time and hold down a job there's no excuse to be late for everything else.
I jate to say it but she's toxic. She's definitely going to push back but you have to stay strong. Tell her when you are leaving and leave at that time no mater what. Take separate vehicles if you can. If not then leave without her. This is a form of abuse you know. She is saying she doesn't care about you and you dont matter everytime she does this and thats mentally abusive. Its demeaning. Stand up for yourself. She is going to try to wear you down by pretending to make an attempt but continuously at the last second say " oh wait I just have too...." and try to make it seem like its normal. Don't fall for it. She'll say things like "you dont have to worry about hair and makeup and..." piss poor excuses. You know you want to do that stuff then you know you need to start getting ready at a certain time. The train leaves the station. You are either on board or not because I have respect for myself and for the other people we have made arrangements with.
You absolutely did the right thing. I've dealt with that before, son's GF. I said to her one day, a lot of people take time to run you around all because of your incompetence. You only you lost your license. The next time I come to take you somewhere and you don't come out the door immediately I'm gone. So as usual you didn't come out the door. That was your last ride from me.
Me being late, omg I forgot this, oh and that, nooo, this other thing... I purposefully try to make myself get ready an hour before I think I need to, and I'm stressed the whole time I'm running behind, hating myself for being slow and forgetful. It's a completely different story when you're browsing jeans and know the movies starting and casually just keep going. You should honestly go to events in separate cars. When I had a partner he helped me keep on time which I appreciate, your wife seems to be using her lateness as a way to hold power in the relationship. (Shopping longer is not really a reason to be late, and if you regularly take 2 hours to get dressed and makeup on you know how long to start ahead of when you should be leaving).
Her behavior with trying on the jeans is rude. But I have chronic illness and OCD anxiety and PTSD which can cause me to be late. I try but sometimes it is impossible to get out of the house.
This is Passive aggressive behavior . My late husband used to try this. He would show up late and expect people to wait for him because HE was the important one. I refused to play along.
THIS was just one of the reasons I divorced my ex. I will NEVER tolerate ANYONE making ME late unless it is a FRACKING REAL EMERGENCY...
NTA. If she had any respect or even common courtesy for anyone other than herself, you would act like like the grown woman she is and get it together. My husband used to do the same thing to me with his disregard for time. So I starting going places by myself. There was no screaming or yelling. I told him if he's not ready by such and such time, I'm going without him, and I do. My hubby likes to deflect and not take responsibility for anything. This is a way to make him accountable for his own actions.
I've stopped making arrangements w/ people in m' circle that I know to be chronically late- the " Fool Me Once..." thing. We can all be late due to unforeseen events, but the considerate thing ta do is notify those waiting on you ASAP. Period. Not Rocket Science. I'm wondering what other marital problems this couple has as the wife's missing a few chips in her hard drive where empathy is concerned- these people aren't likely to change because they're incapable of accurate self- appraisal. I see pain in this man's future
I tend to run late but decided that a watch, giving myself more time to get ready, recognizing the effect of my tardiness on other people all helped me to start to change
Someone who is consistently late (and will make you late) doesn't appear to respect the fact that your time is as valuable as theirs is. I think you did the right thing....perhaps the next time she'll hurry along a little more and have more consideration and respect for you. Sitting there on a bench is a little childish and spiteful....a shame she missed a movie she could have come in late too(although other movie goers might not appreciate it)
I suspect the movie was almost over before she got to the theater. At that point she could admit she screwed up or try to shift some blame to him for abandoning her. Guess which she chose.
Load More Replies... definitely NTA ! I have a real fear of being late so I never accept offered rides to airports or events because a lot of my friends seem to have a very cavalier approach to time keeping. All except for one friend who I trust implicitly, if she says she will be on time for something she will arrive early. Just to show it can be done
This is frustrating behaviour... has she tried ADHD medication? Because sometimes an inability to switch tasks or adhere to a schedule can be a symptom. I'm not saying she shouldn't be held accountable, but if it is a symptom, there are medications, and coping strategies that might help her manage her behaviour.
My mother is ALWAY late.Recently,my daughter got married.My mother insisted she would do the flowers(ring of flowers for bride's hair and her bouquet).On the morning I finished the wedding cake(couldn't be decorated til the last minute or the icing flowers would melt),delivered it to the venue organised bar.Came home ,greeted friends/family from out of town,made phone calls, organized lots of little things,Before getting dressed,I thought I better check that my mother was ready.She was,not dressed,holding half the flower ring ,with flowers spread all over the bed!! So with 45 mins til start time ,I sent her off to get ready and had to make the ring & bouquet, from scratch then rush to get ready myself.AND we STILL had to wait for her to do her make up! We arrived 5 minutes before the wedding,looking like I had thrown my clothes on(which I had),to a VERY stressed daughter waiting on her flowers.My mother,oblivious to the stress she had caused,looked calm and relaxed as usual.
In a parenting class, a single Mom was having an issue with her 9 yo daughter making her late for work by not being dressed & in the car by 7:20. The instructor said that no child died showing up to school in pajamas. So have a bag with pop tarts and a change of clothng/ toothpaste & brush. Tell the girl if she wants to choose her clothes for the day, she better be ready and in the car. You can be trained by them or they can be trained by the parent. There was a Mother behind us who said it was her husband that cause the delay, he was in charge of getting toddler ready as the daycare was on 'mom's' way, he went to work in the opposite direction. The instructor told the class that yes it works on spouses and co-workers the same way it does on children--Ha-Ha.
NTA! I have been chronically late due to my IBS, chronic pain, and other health issues. My friends almost kicked me off our D&D campaign because I was always 5-15 mins late. So now I started getting ready about an hour early, I'm either on time or a little early, and it feels so nice to not have to rush! Plus I always felt really bad about even being 5 mins late. But I finally told my friends that my lateness was because I was on the toilet, so they're more understanding about it. I could not imagine being late just because I was shopping, picking an outfit, doing makeup, etc. That just shows selfishness and a lack of respect for everyone else's time.
Honestly I can’t handle people who are late and have to waste my time. Even my friend says “let’s go gym. Meet at My place at 8pm” i show up ready to go. He’s not dressed, gym bag not packed and starting to cook some food… We go to weekly meetings in morning. I know he likes to go early because it’s important to him. I always make him wait 10 minutes for me to arrive so we can car pool. Waste my time I’ll waste yours haha
OP NTA... I am the late one. But if my hubby said said movies about to start, my reaction wouldn't be "just a minute" it would've been time to purchase and go. As far as her in the lobby, I bet the movie was 3/4 over before she realized at which point she decided to attempt to save face by blaming him for leaving. If, and I do mean if, she is willing to work with her husband she should both get counseling (she has issues that interfere with life, including losing friends) and work with her husband on strategies for both their peace and happiness. For my hubby and I that was I state how long I need to get ready. He then tells me what time I should get ready and what rime we are leaving to get to x by y time. Thing is, there is a buffer built into the travel time, so if my get ready time extends into it, I hurry to grab and go before the now stated real leave time is done. Nowadays I'm typically ready close to first ready time and we both are happy
I lived with a woman that was always late. I'm always early, and I won't make people wait for me if I can help it. But my ex would be 3 hours late going to court, and her father was a lawyer. She was perpetually lat e for work. Late coming to pick me up. Late when I would go to pick her up. She was never on time for anything at all in her life it used to really bug me, but then I just accepted it, thats just how it was going to be if I wanted her in my life. It lasted a couple of years. Then we split.
While the wife clearly sucks here I'm confused as to how this apparently suddenly started happening only after they got married? Like wasn't she chronically late to their dates or anything? On their wedding day?
NTA My wife is also chronically late. I don't feel like it comes from a selfish place but any time I try to address it, she gets super defensive and shuts down. One of her, I can't believe people are so rude stories involves her friends mom that gave her a ride to school everyday. She was always making them late by 5-15 minutes so one day they got tired of waiting drove off without her and she had to walk to school. I used to sympathize with her and this story but after knowing her this long I understand why the lady drove off on her.
As a person who is almost always late, I think you were right to do this. I understand your anxiety. My anxiety is just the opposite. I have social anxiety, so if I get somewhere early and I have to wait my instant instinct is to leave because my heart and mind start racing with all the "what-ifs". BUT, if any of my family members start to give me warnings about running late, I feel guilty, and I don't think it's fair to punish them with MY anxieties. If I had been ditched, I would be upset just at myself because I know I deserved it.
And he didn't have to get a divorced but it looked into counseling something for her or them and if she improves cool if not then yeah he can leave it's no big deal she needs to understand the world don't revolve around her and the sooner she figures it out the better because I'm assuming she doesn't work and he does and that's where the money comes from otherwise how else can she get away with being late to everything but if he leaves and she has to start working she better figure out how to be on time or she won't have a job.
NTA... But it was a bit passive-aggressive. Why not just say, "the movie has started and I'm heading over. You can catch up when you want to?" There was no reason to ditch her.
Because then an argument would have started as she would have tried to force him to wait, is what can be inferred from dealing with people like this
Load More Replies... I used to say my ex-husband would be late for his funeral. It drove me crazy. We used to call it by his last name as in there is normal time then there is Smith time. The worst part was, even after the divorce my three children would telle Smith time for a year, when I went to their events. I would show up " early" because they treated me like it had been my problem. I had to tell all three of them to stop it. People who do this are often narcissist who do not care about all the work some events require. When it is a chronic problem, it's best to notice it before marriage. Family both his and mine began lying about times. I even lied but even then we would be late. It is rude. It is embarrassing. Sometimes just leaving them a few tes to be " on time" will stop the behavior. Good luck
I was fully ready to be on her side. As someone with ADHD, I am chronically late and it really stresses me out when people try to push me to get ready faster. I am going as fast as I can, I am already stressed. And I hate being late, and it usually triggers feelings of shame and frustration with myself. I do actually put in the effort to be on time and I’ve gotten better at it with practice. But her response is just plain selfish. And the whole dramatic show of waiting in the lobby for being ditched is totally childish. Not a hopeless situation, but she needs therapy.
I would be very curious to hear the wife's side of the story. I say this because sometimes very punctual people assume that chronically late people do it bc they lack respect for others. When often it is undiagnosed (Or diagnosed) mental illness such as ADHD, anxiety, or social phobia, etc. I was chronically late until last year, when I finally got treated for ADHD And anxiety. After a lifetime of struggling, I was FINALLY able to think more clearly and remember to look at the clock more often. (Combination of therapy and medication). We aren't late because we think other peoples time is less valuable. it stems from an inability to be organized, estimate time (read: time blindness), or manage our emotions. i don't think its ok to be late, and I hate making other people wait. Absolutely hate it. But I couldn't not do it. It felt like I had no control over it. I always cared though. Obviously if the wife really didn't Care, that's just entitlement. I just wish we could hear that from her.
NTA as someone who HAS TO be at least 15 minutes early for EVERYTHING, ALWAYS....just reading this post gave me anxiety. My ex was like this, leaving the house at 3:30 for a 3:30 doctors appointment, thinking that the doctor will "get him in when he gets there," until the doctor stopped seeing him if he came in late. He learned that if he wanted to be seen, he had to be on time. He learned his lesson.
Under the comment that says Why couldn't she buy her own movie ticket when she finally realized that you had gone ahead to the movies? How come his response is 4 years ago but the original comment was 9 days ago?
I'm not sure why it says 4 years on here, but if you go to the actual Reddit post, it says the reply was 9 days ago.
Load More Replies... Sounds like she's passive aggressive. I have a relative who likes to think he's important. When you're out with him he'll start conversations with people and keep going and make you wait anywhere from 15 minutes to literally hours. It makes him feel important to have people waiting for him and he'll act like a weasel if you call him on it.
NTA. I am chronically late, but I am always rushing around TRYING to be on time. Doesn't seem to matter if I start getting ready ten mins early or an hour early, I'm still late, or at least rushed. It's like the last 10 mins just disappears or goes twice as fast. That being said, I am aware and I am working on myself as best I can - I've gone from 30-45 m down to 0-15m. We ALL have things we need to work on. BUT I would NEVER be going to try on more clothes when already late, nor would I brush off my partner's anxiety. That's just AH behaviour. At worst, I might ask the clerk to put something on hold for me and we would try to catch most of the previews.
This is my wife. We were at a restaurant the other night and I had already cleared two plates (buffet) and she had still made barely a dent. Finally, I was like, Honey, I think they want to close. "No they don't." "Honey, we're the only ones still here." She she proceeded to eat jello in the slowest manner I have ever seen. As we were walking out, the employees started putting the chairs on the tables. We are ALWAYS the last to leave anywhere. Late to get there and last to leave. Don't matter what. Daughter's graduation they literally turned off the stadium lights to get us to leave.
Nope. My partner can be a bit like that, he just has no concept for time. Drives me nuts. When we are invited places, I sometimes tell him a time a half hour early so we can be on time for it. Other times I will just go on ahead. We are a couple, not joint at the hip, so he can be late if he can't get his thing together but I won't. Also, why didn't she just go the movie theater herself? I would have left her a text message though.
We had this in church. Small home group. I ran and hurried to be in time with 3 kids and then some lazy single women would show up an hour late, cause they had to sleep longer and do their make up and everyone had to wait until they finally showed up. The home group doesn't exist anymore.
There's a big difference between poor time management, it's a common aspect of folk that have ADD or ADHD, and not respecting others. Those with poor time management are just bad at being organised to be on time. Your wife shows no respect for your movie time together, that's completely different, and not something you should put up with. She's just acting completely self absorbed with no respect for you or others.
In kindergarten (so maybe 4-5 yo, long before the days of cellphones), I routinely carpooled with my best friend to/from school. One day, I was under the (apparently mistaken) impression that my mother would be picking me up, so I did not go with my best friend. Two hours go by. One of the aides has to look up my address, and drives me home herself. In front of the aide, my emotionally abusive mother was all smiling and cheerful. "Oh, *there* you are!" As soon as the aide left, my mother berated me for "embarrassing her like that." Even at 5 yo, I looked my mother in the eye and said, "It never occurred to you to wonder where I was for the last two hours? You weren't even worried?!" She passed two years ago, and I don't miss her.
'Everybody Loves Raymond' episode - 'Lateness' - where Ray leaves for the sports banquet without Debra at 6 p.m. - when 'all azzes must be in seats.'
NTA for what you did but you are a DA (D for dumb) for marrying her without getting this issue resolved. You honestly did this to yourself. You forgot the #1 relationship rule of life! Never try to change the other person. You either accept them as they are or you change yourself. If not, then you are incompatible...
Lucky this btch is not a wive of some rich and famous... Or else many more going to suffer under such selfish btch..
My mom takes hours to get ready. Once, when I was home visiting, my stepdad and I decided to tell her we were planning on leaving at 6:30 the next morning to miss traffic. (Touristy type day trip) We were planning on leaving at 8:00. She was ready by 8:15. She can't help it, and we didn't want to make her feel bad.
he knew she was always late when he was dating her; if he married her, he had an obligation to accept that, not try to change that or get upset by it
EVERY time someone tells me about how horrible their ex was, I ask if they changed during their marriage, or if they were like that before, and in EVERY instance, they were like that before they were married
Load More Replies... There's issues like adhd and then there is narcissistic aholes, sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference between them... except the former usually apologizes and shows some anxiety for them being late. The wife in the story is dismissive, her needs come first, now that still could be a distraction issue, but again it's all about her with sitting on the bench in some sort of play to make him feel guilty. Conscious or not, she doesn't see her husband as worthy? Equal? Or a simple lack of respect for him and others. She's a princess who doesn't care about others. Both my hubby and I share the show up early mentality thankfully, since we're both anxious about being late. Mine from a childhood of being late for everything, partly due to a step-hag who did it deliberately, and simply a very busy father when he wasn't being delayed by her. It of course annoys me to no end when others do it to me, but I try to take into account why they might be late. Like if I know they're "flighty
I remember my first few "adult" years when I showed up for family things on time. Everyone was still getting ready and nowhere near ready to accept others. I learned everyone in my life was chronically late to the point of it being an expectation. I haven't been to one of those gatherings in years. Who has time for that crap?
My sister use to pull this s**t regularly, so we began to lie to her about when things closed and travel time involved, we also made her meet us, if we had to catch a ferry, we would meet her at the ferry, putting the responsibility back on her, so she stopped making every one late. Being late is a form of passive aggression and attempt of control. Once we took the false reality away, she stopped thinking it would work.
I would have gone insane over such conduct within days. So happy that both myself and my husband value being on time. Which for us is 10 minutes early.
What I always do is tell the person that the time is an hour earlier and then we make it on time
The OP could have done better at communicating his boundaries. While at the store, something like, "I'm heading to the theater in 10 minutes. If you need more time, I can save you a seat." And then actually going through with it. Also it sounds like he turned off his phone while he was walking away, cutting off communication. If that's the case, not cool. Seems childish in my mind, though maybe that's partially because I'm not the type of person to fully turn off my phone at the movies (on silent in my pocket is as good as off to me). Communication is super important when setting and enforcing boundaries, it's the difference between healthy detachment and stonewalling. Edit in case I was misinterpreted: OP was right to leave her behind. His methods could have been more kind while maintaining the boundary (being on time).
why do everyone's solution move out, get divorced, or you have abusive parents. like dude
I experienced this, too. Dated a woman with the same attitude to time. We arranged to meet somewhere early in our relationship, at 2pm. At 2.25pm I messaged (again) to say I'd had enough waiting and was going home. She called me immediately, panicking, and begged me to stay another 60 sec as she was almost there. When she arrived, she just looked stunned, and told me that her whole life, NO ONE had called her on her lateness ever before. She wasn't late to anything else the entire 2 years we dated
I’m always late to things now and I hate it but I can’t seem to stop. I used to always be 5 mins early to everything because that’s what my parents taught me to do but then I was always hanging around by myself for 5 mins. That’s wasn’t too bad but then the new people I met at uni would always be about half an hour late so I’d be stood around outside a bar, for example, for 40 minutes by myself. Over time, I started to arrive a bit later to limit the time I’d be alone. After 4 years of that, it’s now ingrained in me to show up later. Even though I go places with my husband now I still set off later and it bugs him. I used to set off on time for his sake but then we’d arrive at a friend’s house the time she told everyone to arrive for the get together and she’d be only just starting to get ready so we’d be sat alone in living room with the friend sticking her head out from time to time trying to not ignore us and it was awkward for everyone. Other guests started arrived an hour + later
ESH. She sucks for always being late. He sucks for ditching her in the mall. If he had left the house on time, leaving her behind, I'd say he doesn't suck. And, as others have pointed out, why now? Why 5 years in? Why wasn't this a thing when she made you late the second or third time?
My sister is chronically late. We have "tina-time". There is our time when we will get together and "tina-time" that is earlier so she has a chance of actually being on time. It's no secret. She seems to appreciate that we do this. OP's case is different. They need to have a discussion about behavior and consequences. He needs to be clear that he intends to be on time from now on. She can arrive at her own time, but he prefers her to be with him. He needs to be mindful that women do need more time to get ready. She needs to be respectful of his time and try harder to be on time, or accept the consequence that he will leave without her.
Time blindness is real, and yes as mention can impact neurodiverse people as well as others. (I have ADHD) I hope he has managed to talk to her and explain his feelings and they come to a compromise, and have strategies in place. I often have people tell me that something starts 15 minutes before it does. I have alarms set prior to meetings. My doctors make sure I put appointments in my calendar and also ring me the day before. Time literally can disappear from me.
He was right there, telling her the time, that previews have started, etc. So I'm not sure how this would apply to their situation.
Load More Replies... You married her knowing she was like this and now you're angry. Both are Aholes if you ask me.
No one likes reason. I don't believe your opinion is wanted. Pearls before swine in my opinion
Load More Replies... Chronic lateness may be a symptom of an underlying illness such as ADD. My sister in law has ADD and wonders off, is chronically late etc, drives my brother a bit nuts, but its literally how her brain works. It would be worth seeing if the wife has a similar underlying problem before ascribing it to her not caring about other people's time.
This is true, however the people I know with ADHD actually feel bad about it and at least they make an effort in most cases to correct the behavior. This woman had no problem to get to where she needed to be on time with time to spare to do something she really wanted to do, but when it came time to do what the husband wanted to do - he was disregarded. I feel this changes the dynamic. My son is a 21 year old with ADHD - he gets frustrated at his lateness but he tries and makes effort.
Load More Replies... ESH. Yeah, she's a b***h, but in a different way so is he. And he's enabling her. When it's time to go, you tell her it's time to go, and then you go. The fact that she shuts him down and keeps doing her thing is a symptom of his lack of balls as much as it's a symptom of her character - she's used to getting her way, and nobody does anything to the contrary. Him walking off is just avoidance of the real issue here. Yeah, he got to see the movie, but he still has to go home with her.
I'm amazed that some of the comments are to suggest breaking up the marriage! You only heard one side. And people wonder why this world is the way it is, because of Satanic reasoning! The Greatest Man who ever lived stated: What God has yoked together let no man put apart.” (Matthew 19:6) Nobody has the Right to break up a marriage!
You have no right to preach here. If your God wants to force people to stay miserable in their marriages he can stuff it.
Load More Replies... I'm gonna go against the majority and say that was a d**k move. You're her partner, not her parent, and as such doing a "tough love" move is a display of contempt. You presumably knew about her chronic lateness before you married her. You shouldn't marry someone and then try to change them. You either accept them or you don't. And if you don't, then don't marry them. Find someone you do accept. Don't treat your wife like a child. Either leave her or learn to be happy with her and respect her the way that she is. You may not realize it yet, but you just inflicted great injury to your relationship.
This has disturbing implications for your beliefs about children
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