Man Gets Furious After Fiancée’s Carelessness Gets His Dog Sick, Cancels The Wedding
Though it’d be wonderful to experience that fairytale love, Hollywood movie endings are usually pretty uncommon. Long-term relationships are never easy and are quite challenging to maintain; your world literally doubles in size, and you’re no longer alone, meaning that you’ll always have to consider your significant other’s opinions, thoughts, worries and wishes.
Despite its complicatedness, many couples are capable of thriving and even saving their potentially escaping connection, but only if they were committed to it from the very beginning. Some, though, aren’t too invested into putting any sort of effort into their partnership and, without even realizing, endure it until one big fight triggers its ending.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes what seemed like a promising relationship was simply doomed to fail
Image credits: mydogismygod0 (not the actual photo)
Every relationship is different. Some have more downs than ups – others don’t even realize that their feelings have been already long gone. “AITA for canceling my wedding because fiancée almost got my dog killed?” – this online user took it to everyone’s favorite subreddit to reveal his rather terrifying story and to find out whether he is, in fact, a jerk.
Guy wonders if he’s wrong for calling off his wedding after his fiancée’s carelessness nearly kills his dog
Image credits: mydogismygod0
The author began his post by revealing that he and his significant other have been together for 4 years and engaged for 6 months. The OP also shared that he is an owner to a 7-year-old lab mix that he absolutely adores – however, something quite unsettling happened to him during his fiancée’s bachelorette party.
Image credits: mydogismygod0
Before the long-awaited bachelorette party, the author went to stay with his parents but decided to leave the dog at home because his fiancée loves to have him around. He made sure to tell her to put the pet in their bedroom once the party got going – however, in the early morning, the man got a distraught call saying that there was something wrong with their Labrador. The woman was seriously intoxicated, so he simply told her to get a taxi and go to the emergency veterinary clinic.
Image credits: mydogismygod0
When the author arrived, he noticed that his fiancée was extremely stressed and two of her friends revealed that the dog was alive, but not doing well. Turns out, the dog had managed to ingest large amounts of alcohol and chocolate edibles, as the women carelessly left everything on the short coffee tables. Once they got home, the man immediately told the woman to pack up and called off their wedding. A few hours later, he was bombarded with multiple messages from his now ex-fiancée’s relatives and friends, telling him that he’s insane for doing so after being together for 4 years.
Image credits: mydogismygod0
Naturally, the man went to look for comfort in his friends and family – however, they all defended the woman, saying that it was just an accident. His sister was shocked that he decided to cancel the wedding over such reason and his best man said that he might’ve overreacted. Though, despite having everyone against him, the OP said that he won’t be able to look into his former partner’s eyes, purely because of how disgusted he is at this situation.
Image credits: mydogismygod0
He then goes on to reveal that it’s not the first time that something has happened due to his ex-fiancée’s irresponsibility. She texts while driving, constantly leaves stuff on the stove – basically never misses a chance to get herself in a dangerous situation. It’s not something that the author holds against her, but it does worry him as he gets scared that she might get herself or someone else killed.
Image credits: Pete Markham (not the actual photo)
Since he uploaded the story, the man realized that it’s not about the dog at all. He shared that his ex-partner’s irresponsible lifestyle is not something that he wants to be a part of. The author decided that he would prefer being a jerk now over having to spend his life worrying about his partner accidentally doing something to their potential child.
Fellow Redditors shared their contrasting opinions
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He's right in not being able to trust her when it comes to being responsible, as her actions have shown
Yeah, but he is also a coward, using the accident with the dog as en excuse for breaking with her, instead saying honestly what's up and why.
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Imagine few years from now, you will leave town for a night, you're now a proud father, you leave your child at home with mum. Some friends come over, and maybe even another child comes over. Few glasses later it's getting late, moods swing and children's bed time passed. Edibles are out on coffee table, glasses on table, adults are distracted and at 5am you get a frantic call your child is unresponsive, maybe the friend also is unresponsive. Pets are family and I'd be furious and would leave as well. Accidents happen, they also come with consequences. NTA, better cancelled wedding than irresponsible partner. You can drink and eat edibles and make sure nobody is affected by your actions. Put dog to the bedroom, keep children away, keep dangerous stuff above reaching height for a pet or a child. Show some consideration. Well done for standing ground, massive red flag. Hope the dog is doing better!
NTA your dog is as much a family as any other member. What would you have done if whatever happened to your dog, happened with your mom. I think a person with blatant disregard for your pet's life should not be a part of your life. However, I do urge you to consider if this is the first incident with your dog. If it is, you may want to sit down and talk to her about her negligent behaviour one last time. Set up pet cctv at home (consensual) and monitor her if she's keeping her side of the bargain.
It seems she has already had plenty of chances to redeem herself and has not. If she really is as irresponsible as posted, another chance could end up killing the dog, camera or no camera. Better to part ways now.
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You are NEVER an a*****e for choosing not to marry someone. It doesn't matter why ffs. If you don't want to be intensely intimately linked to that person for the rest of your existence then....just don't be.
NTA. She clearly ignored his instructions and endangered the dog, almost killing him. Who leaves chocolate and alcohol in places where a dog can eat them? I would not trust that woman with my dog or my kids.
Especially when coupled with her other habits that could harm or kill others. It seems like this was the straw that broke the camel's back, and they likely would have divorced within a couple years.
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I would have done the same. All these people “it’s just a dog” fu wouldn’t be the same response if their child who was let’s say deathly allergic to chocolate wound up nearly dead because she was negligent, no sir, it would be she’s not fit to be around kids, blah blah blah but as it’s an animal it’s life doesn’t seem as important right?
Yes....walk away...quickly. Embrace your dog, who is loyal, and your finalancee is not. You do not want to be married to an irresponsible drunk anyway.
Good job by dodging that bullet, getting married to a person that's clearly not your better half. If she really loved you or at least listened to you, she would've let you keep the dog for that night.
Agreed. If she loved him she would have done as he asked and made sure the dog was safe before getting on with the partying. She doesn't sound the sharpish knife in the block tbh and that's okay, all the time she's not responsible for other lives.
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Prob the straw breaking camels back here. Sounds like she doesn't think. Just acts an doesn't remember from experience when s**t happens that's bad. Maybe it was rash at that moment. (Glad doggie is ok.) But I could see that happening to a child with her not thinking ahead and being proactive. Also sounds like she's acting like a cutesie teen and not an adult. Stand your ground. After all it's your life and if you are happier and safer without her and doggo too, then so be it. No one lives your life but you. But anyone else can tear it apart. Honestly how could anyone leave food out like that with a dog around? They eat everything when you don't look. They vacuum crumbs very well. Lol. Yeah better off moving forward w out the drama. At least she didn't burn the house down.
NTA, maybe she didn't feed the dog chocolate (and weed?) and alcohol by hand, but the negligence wasn't accidental. I'd never trust a person like that again, and especially not with a child a couple of years down the line.
I thought it was too harsh but then saw she has a track record for doing stupid things which would worry me. It doesn't sound like he really cares for her either.
I think it's funny people calling him AH for calling off wedding. If it had been female writing complaining about BF, they would say run. Thing for me doesn't matter reason. If you feel you shouldn't marry someone then don't. Even if it's dumb to others, ultimately it's your life. People say you can work out issues after you get married, Now that's F...... dumb. Cause it doesn't work. More that 30% of marriages end before 5 years, more than 50% end before 20th year. According to research. Odds are not in peoples favor, so going into a wedding with issues means you will most likely fail.
I agree, but then I think he was right to get out of it!
Load More Replies... NTA. My cat is #1. I left a girlfriend over a cat years ago (another cat - Gina wasn't born then, she's just two now), and over "You gotta stop motorcyclind, you gotta quit smoking", which both went on top of "get rid of the cat, ain't he old enough to die anyway?" - he was 15 then, and, no, cats last a few years longer than just 15. He lived to be 20, and guess whose birthday I still know, and whose not.
yeah, in the middle of the text was already thinking that this just might be yet another reason to not go through with a wedding. And yep, he confirmed it to himself that simply she is not the person with who he would like to "stick around" till the end of days. So I guess it does not matter anymore if he's AH (thinking he is NTA though), but she does deserve a proper explanation.
I agree that the important thing is that they don't marry. I have ADHD and dealing with that is not for everyone.
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woa what a d**k : not marrying someone he doesn't want to marry noy following a wedding with someone he doesn't want to live with for the sake of others. not wife got lucky the dog didn't die but it wasn't thanks to her. it's like the friendzone complainers but it's the wife : not only did she endanger the dog (then got her family to back her up) but he has TOLD her not to, and she didn't care. [also : she isn't f*****g 17 she's 27!?😡😠 BITCHnothusband : 17 years do not, in fact, kill dogs!!!! Stop insulting teenagers over their age f**k!!]
My son is 12 and watches out that he doesn't drop chocolate on the floor. We have a rabbit hopping around.
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NTA. She took no precautions and I don't give a FK the situation or circumstances, being drunk is NO excuse. I'm married and if my wife ever did such a foolish thing that put my dog's life in danger (she never would, she isn't that stupid) I would divorce her. You are NTA, everyone else is. You made the right decision as you will NEVER be able to trust her after that. If she is that careless around your dog, she WILL BE that careless around your children. ANYONE defending his fiance should be sterilized because you are too emotionally stupid to breed.
NTA, I wouldn't risk it either. This time it's the dog, next time it is your child! She has proven not to be mature enough to take responsibility for another living being. You are. Find yourself another lady who resonates more.
Darling, you dodged a bullet by cancelling the wedding. Do NOT feel guilty for following your instincts. It seems obvious that this horrible incident isn't the first time your now ex-fiancée has demonstrated irresponsible behavior. It sounds like she either needs to grow up and/or sober up before she will be ready to take care of anyone besides herself. Lick your wounds, love your precious dog and move on, dear man. Best of luck!
You don’t need a “good enough” reason to decide not to marry someone. “I don’t want to” is all you need. No one has to justify not wanting to share a life with someone.
If she's that careless, I hope you've confronted her about that before. She continued the behavior, and it led to your dog getting injured. I would have done the same if I were in your place. If she cares that little about an animal life, a human's could be in more danger. You did the right thing instead of possibly ending up risking a child's life.
NTA!!! You must BE A RESPONSIBLE adult TO CONSUME ADULT PRODUCTS. NOT a mistake, IRRIESPONABILITY. She CHOSE to freely feed DANGEROUS *TO DOG* CONSUMABLES for ENTERTAINMENT!!!! I do believe you can file animal cruelty charges against all parties involved. Your narrative tells me this was the last straw. You owe no-one an explanation.
NTA. Clearly the girl can’t follow instructions and she has no common sense. Is she stoned all the time or just stupid? Repeatedly burning things on the stove? Jeez. Any one with half a brain knows chocolate can kill a dog. Booze is definitely bad. Edibles might be her issue. You dodged a bullet. Your family doesn’t seem to get what you’ve put up with. And inform your sister that almost killing your dog is a damn good reason to dump her. I would have wanted to kick her in the ass.
Whilst accidents can and do happen all the time, this is one of those 'accidents' that could have been easily avoided if she'd just done as she agreed to do when looking after the poor dog. There are lots of accidents you can minimise the risk from happening if you're just sensible ... like a wine glass is less likely to knocked off if it's on a table and not balanced unnattended on the arm of a sofa (lookin at you, Pete.. the stain is still there). I do get pissed off sometimes when people say 'oh it was just an accident' when it's something that could have easily been mitigated from happening with just a bit of personal responsibility and common sense.
Sunk Cost Fallacy could apply here: "the phenomenon whereby a person is reluctant to abandon a strategy or course of action because they have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial." I mean, he's hardly reluctant, but putting 4 years into a relationship is ZERO reason to stay in it. If there aren't other reasons, there are no reasons.
Honestly, it’s a tough call but if all it took was her being reckless to get him to call off a wedding, they clearly weren’t meant to be married. He’s just being protective and her choices aren’t ones that he should be stuck with. But the fact that people sided with her tells me that no one knows the actual story. She absolutely didn’t tell the truth and he is blinded by his priorities (which I would be too. You don’t mess with people’s pets. You just don’t.).
Oh good grief! Has this woman never lived with girl friends before? She certainly has had people in her life that have told her "You can't leave towels on a hot stove!" And that's just for openers. This "girl" is grossly immature. I'm sorry to the families who have spent oodles of time and money on this "couple" preparing for a wedding that should not go forward. It is so much safer, wiser and cheaper to call a halt before more damage is done. So glad the dog will survive, but it sounds like the dog was "just the last straw." Best for OP to come clean and say out loud to family and friends that he was having doubts about this relationship and wasn't man enough to admit he let things go too far. These 2 are not on the same path. Take your lumps OP and apologize to everyone and tell them you just can't marry this girl.
this relationship was not meant to be. too many emotional differences between the two. better cancelling the wedding now and ending the relationship before the wedding than to deal with the consequences of divorce. this relationship was doomed. it makes no sense to continue the relationship just because 4 years was already invested in it. continuing any longer involves wasting the future for both parties. NTA
I do agree with the fact that she was negligent, but more than her was him. If he’s being with her for more than 4 years and knew she was irresponsible why trusted his dog with her in a party night knowing she would be celebrating getting drunk? If he’s already had complaints about her during the whole relationship, why wait till the wedding day to gave up? I think he used the dog as excuse and the fact is that he didn’t really want to be with her and lying to her and to himself. So he also could avoid all this to happen breaking up before. I wouldn’t wait to something worse to happen to make an decision like he did.
YTA - for not being honest in the first place. My best friend and another friend almost killed my dog wiht similar carelessness and stupidity and I am still friends with them. I was angry for a long time, but mistakes do happen and he knows it. She dodged a bullet and hopefully learned a lesson.
I'm kind of torn... If it was me I would not have waited until this point to end the relationship (knowing what I know from your post). Maybe you didn't know any better but this was not the way to go about ending the relationship. Its hard to tell if you genuinely wanted to end it or if you are simply justifying to yourself after the fact so you can feel better about it, instead of dealing with the actual problem (whatever that might be). You were hurt that she didn't take care of your dog the way you expected but you also knew she could be careless. Your expectation of perfect safety when you know alcohol would be involved should have gone out the window. I don't bring my dog to parties and I certainly would not have one in our home where she is supposed to feel safe because anything can happen. I think you are equally AHs here.
This is a dangerous game if OP stayed with her she could do another carless thing that could get people injured and if they have children what will happen then she could possibly hurt them (accidently) due to the carelessness, my point is what she did with the dog could show the future of the children OP was right to do what he did, Nta.
NTA-she is careless and just doesn't listen or cares and she till this point always got away with it ..but it's gonna change and probably gonna hurt someone really bad,,,,just because they been together for 4 years they don't have to stay together
He’s totally NTA. I myself consider my furrbabies as my children.My biological kids consider them siblings. If you hurt them in any way. We cut you out of our lives.
OP trusted her when he left the dog with her (because she likes having him here) and gave clear instructions about what to do with the dog. Living with an irresponsible adult is the absolute worst! Nothing but resentment will follow until you can't take it anymore. Best to break it off now, rather than pay a divorce lawyer later. On the plus side, maybe, just maybe she has learned a good lesson!
Yes, you are an AH for wasting her time up till the moment of marriage as it seems you never actually loved her or accepted her. It's wrong to be careless but we all do have flaws and mistakes. If you really loved her, you could have told her and helped her change rather than tell the world about her flaws.. You knew she was careless, so why leave the dog? Or you could have called again to ensure that she has not forgotten your instructions. Moreover, she herself was so worried and crying alot. So she didn't intentionally harm him. If you are only after pointing out flaws and blaming, then maybe you didn't deserve her. Your children might be safe now in the future but would you condemn them if they are also careless or made some mistake???? Would you condemn your dog if he had accidentally harmed someone?? So you didn't really love her, thankfully this incident happened to reveal your shitty behavior to her and hope she gets someone better who loves his dog and also her truly.
He should not have left his dog at a function where there would be edibles. Even if he asked the dog to be locked up in their bedroom. He should have taken the dog with him and not left him in a party situation. In a party situation, people make errors of judgement.
He should take responsibility and acknowledge his own part in a tragic situation.
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Tough one... if my fiancé accidentally hurt my dog, I'd be livid... but I honestly can't see him ever being that irresponsible, not because he's such a responsible person who never does idiotic things, but because he knows how much my dog means to me... and if god forbid something did hurt Heinz while he was in his care, I would still marry him not just because I love him but because I know he knows how much Heinz means to me and I know he would never endanger him intentionally... sounds like OP just isn't really that into his fiancé, and this isn't an offence that's directly caused the break up, it's more like the straw that broke the camels back
Reading the post, even before OP got to it, I was thinking, "This is so clearly not (just) about the dog." There are accidents, and then there are behavioural patterns. The dog was just the last straw. OP needs to open up about this to his family, and say that the dog was just a wake-up call. The real issue was her irresponsible behaviour and reckless disregard for others.
It sounds like he wasn't sold on the idea of marriage to this woman in the first place. The incident with the dog just made a great lynchpin to get out.
I wouldn't want to be married to either of them. Obviously, they don't belong together.
In panel 12 he came to the realization that it really wasn't about the dog. That she wasn't trustworthy to have a future with (with all the examples he gave). He should have left it at that. No need to shame her by posting this. He doesn't need to explain to any one beyond that her behavior and the last straw was the dog. He said so himself 'that it was NOT about the dog and more about the totality of all the of it', just go with that. May have dodged a bullet here and saved money in the long run.
Sounds like there's been long term issues that has irked him, and the dog thing is just the trigger. He's not the a*****e for cancelling the wedding, but he is the a*****e for using what happened to the dog as an excuse to end it, and for letting the relationship go as far as planning a wedding before ending it. If there's been as many incidents as he says, and it's been something he's had issues with for a while, then WHY would you ask them to marry you?? I mean, these issues were clearly enough for them to end the relationship over, and there's no indication these incidents would stop any time soon, as it is "just the way she is".. So yeah, he was right in stopping the wedding because getting married with this much baggage just waiting to explode is unfair to everyone involved and could potentially be a huge economic strain on family that paid for the wedding.. NTA for cancelling the wedding, but 100% YTA for using the dog as an excuse to end it abruptly..
And for leaving his "beloved" dog at a party that was expected to get a bit wild (a bachelorette? With booze and edibles?) in the first place..
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It's strange that guy knows that his girlfriend is irresponsible yet left the dog with her for a BACHELOR'S PARTY? Everyone knows that these parties tend to get out of hand sometimes. If he was really the responsible one this is not hard thing to predict. Moreover if you didn't like your girlfriend's behavior, instead of proposing to her you could have try to question it, offer therapy (people with adhd tend to behave like this, it is not up to us) or simply just break up with her if it was so taugh.
NTA. She was told to lock the dog in the bedroom and she did not do it. Then she was either oblivious or didn't care that the dog was eating chocolate and consuming alcohol, both of which are highly toxic. That was NOT an accident and to all those saying, "well, the dog didn't die"! WTF is wrong with you? If it were a child that ended up hospitalized due to alcohol poisoning and other toxins would you say the same thing? I would never tolerate that level of ignorance or carelessness either and would have reacted the same by ending the relationship.
Yes, you were in the right to kick her out. You told her to put the dog in the bedroom, she did not! I bet anything that her and her friends were even giving the dog booze & edibles , because they thought it would be funny! At her age she needs to grow up. Thank God you did not marry her, or your child &/or dog could have died in her care! You saved a bullet!! Good job.
No, it's totally about the dog. Let it go further and next time it could be about the kids. NTA
This same thing is never going to happen again. I think you have just got some real pre wedding jitters. If all is well between you, other than this one incident, then marry, but if this is all it takes for you to walk away, then bye. It is a shame you both have wasted so much time with one another. You knew when you left the dog with her, she was going to likely get intoxicated. It was a bad move on your part to leave the dog at the party. It is comparable to leaving a small child with someone intoxicated. You made the mistake, not her. You were looking for a way out, you got it. I think the blame is with you, tho. Should not have left the dog at her party for her to take care of. She forgot which is what happens at parties and drinking. You made the wrong decision, not her. Get over yourself. or grow up. You are the truly responsible one who left the dog at the wrong house wrong time.
I've got ADHD , and I thank God my husband is a patient man. It sounds like she may have an attention issue . I'm really book smart, but totally common sense clueless. It's not something I do on purpose , and I can learn ways to think through things or remember things. Don't expect me to pick up on nuance or subtle hints. Just tell me what you want me to do or not do . Try to gently teach her how to act less impulsively , to think things through , to be more aware in the moment. Don't lose your absolute s**t and throw away four years . Not everyone sees life through the same lens . Be compassionate and try to fix the problem ... marriage is full of fixing problems and times will likely get tough at some point or other in your life. If you can't compassionately teach something so simple , you won't fare the hard times
I can't believe some keyboard warrior downvoted your thoughtful comment... It's like "perfect" people lurk around here.. Just, wow! smh in disbelief! If HE was soooo "responsible", WHY leave his "beloved" dog at a bachelorettr??!
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I would be very upset with her and if you have a list of things she has done or not done, I think you’re not really ready to marry her. You should let her know how serious you think these things are to you and see how that conversation goes. If she acts like they are no big deal and you are overreacting then I think you will never be happy with her. If she is willing to work on it, maybe you can work things out.
I have friends for every occasion. My friends don't know eachother. I keep it this way because they all have something to contribute-in different ways. One is GREAT to go shopping with but she SUCKS at sports. So I don't bring her riding horses because I know she'll either kill herself or someone else.
I wonder why all the comments calling this guy out for his part in this mess are getting downvoted? If so much about her was annoying / concerning him he must have spoken to her about it, I'd hope. He waited for this incident to happen, to call it off? This relationship was doomed; she seems to be a trainwreck (although I know people who have matured super fast when the kids come), but we are only seeing his side of the story and I don't see him covering himself in glory, tbh. HE left the dog with HER, at the end of the day. At a party that anyone can imagine might get wild...
Mistakes teach us, so having this same thing happen again is probably not even in the picture. I think you are baling out just because you are still not ready to be in a committed relationship where you have to handle another person's possibility of not being perfect all the time, what issues do you have that will affect her life? I just think you realized she is not the one and you are not truly ready to be in a marriage.
I think his fiance dodged a bullet. Yes, she was irresponsible but she didn't deliberately hurt the dog. I have a cat that I love more than life and in the same situation, I would have taken her with me while a party was going on because I understand that she probably means more to me than she does to anyone else. He clearly values his dog more than his future wife, which honestly is not a great position for any woman to be in. Maybe they are both the AH and are better off without each other.
Did anyone consider the possibility that she may have ADD or ADHD? Way to punish a person who may be suffering from a mental illness. Not to mention the fact the ridiculous need for a perfect partner. We all have flaws, we all make mistakes. I've burnt my share of cutting boards on the stove top, but I'm not so reckless as to leave edibles in toddler's reach. Some of these potential 'scenarios' are extremely exaggerated and make no common sense.
I'd never consider my ADD to be a mental illness, thanks.
Load More Replies... Did anyone ever consider she may have ADD or ADHD? Way to punish a person with a possible mental illness. Not to mention that he has very high expectations of a perfect partner. Good luck dude. smh..
He wanted to leave her to begin with. If he really loved her this wouldnt be a dealbreaker for an entire marriage. Im not minimizing this issue becasue its a dog, i would have thought the same if it was with a child.
You wouldn't walk away if she had done this to your child...??? Seriously? I see nothing wrong with this being a dealbreaker. All the other stuff - nothing came of it (through luck, not judgement). This though? She nearly killed his dog! A living, feeling creature who suffered due to her neglect. All she had to do was pop the dog safely in another room. Hardly difficult. If I didn't walk away over my dog, I would DEFINITELY walk away if she'd done this to my child. She didn't love him enough to do as he asked.
Load More Replies... He wanted to leave her to begin with. If he really did love and want to be with her this wouldnt have been a dealbreaker for the entire marriage.
Hurt my pet and you'd be out of my life fast. I've got my priorities straight.
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Sounds like she may have ADHD which impacts the way people focus and often leads them to forget important things (like removing a towel from a stove burner or putting the dog in the bedroom) because they've already moved on and are thinking about the next thing. That said, sounds like this was not a good match.
Then she might need to rethink the edibles: https://www.additudemag.com/cannabis-use-disorder-marijuana-adhd/
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Well, we agree on one thing at least: they're better off not together. You make a lot of suppositions in your post... (1) The OP is uptight. No, he had just reached his breaking point with her last episode of supreme careless irresponsibility. (2) The OP "abruptly...threw her under the bus". No again - this was the final straw in a multitude of careless events. (3) Her family is invested emotionally and financially in him. How on earth could you possibly know this and, more importantly, what bearing does does this have on HIM? (4) You don't think she would have reacted the same way towards the OP. Once again, how could you know this - are you omniscient? But if, for some reason, she didn't call off the wedding, it would only be due to her pathetic, dependent, addictive personality. You are correct - someone dodged a bullet, but it was the groom-to-be. His ex needs professional help of some type and his gut was telling him so.
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How do you know he didn't talk to her about those things. Why would anyone think he didn't think it was worth mentioning to her at least??? He doesn't say he didn't ask her not to text and drive, not to leave things on the oven - though quite frankly those are bloody obviously stupid things to do. Doesn't take a genius IQ to know that. He's also not her dad and isn't actually responsible for her being a complete numpty as she leaps from one near disaster to another. He lost it when she caused ACTUAL harm and he's right to consider his dog important enough - we have to be responsible for those in our care, animals and children. What on earth would she be like as a mother. Would she still think it okay to text and drive? Leave things within reach of a child? She needs to wake up and start taking responsibility for herself. Not his job to do it for her. She clearly didn't love him enough to listen to his wishes and make the dog safe.
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We don't know that he didn't talk to her about it. He doesn't mention that one way or another. 'Bad drunken mistake' is no excuse, she should have put the dog somewhere safe as she was asked to do BEFORE getting off her face.
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How is he mean? She didn't listen to him and put his dog at risk. That's not just careless. It's selfish and stupid. She sounds like she's highly negligent about safety and it will only be a matter of time before something else happens that might actually kill. Of course he's angry over his dog - I'd be livid.
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The other incidents didn't harm a living creature, of course this one made him snap! The consequences were far worse. The others were potentially dangerous but she had so far been lucky and he probably kept hoping she's finally twig how foolish she is being. It is absolutely reasonable that this one finally caused him to realise that she's not going to think sufficiently about the risks she is taking and the danger she is putting others in, even if she won't wake up and realise it about herself. How selfish not to remember or consider his request to make sure the dog was safe. He's NTA at all.
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He told her very clearly to put the dog somewhere safe first - she chose not to do that. Dogs are trainable but even the best in the world can be very tempted. I worked with people with guide dogs. Highly trained but would still steal food when they could - Labradors are renowned for being walking dustbins. Purposefully or not, she didn't do the right thing and she put a living creature at risk. He might have found all the other things manageable in the past because so far no-one had been harmed - this was the straw the broke the camels back.
Load More Replies... He's right in not being able to trust her when it comes to being responsible, as her actions have shown
Yeah, but he is also a coward, using the accident with the dog as en excuse for breaking with her, instead saying honestly what's up and why.
Load More Replies... Imagine few years from now, you will leave town for a night, you're now a proud father, you leave your child at home with mum. Some friends come over, and maybe even another child comes over. Few glasses later it's getting late, moods swing and children's bed time passed. Edibles are out on coffee table, glasses on table, adults are distracted and at 5am you get a frantic call your child is unresponsive, maybe the friend also is unresponsive. Pets are family and I'd be furious and would leave as well. Accidents happen, they also come with consequences. NTA, better cancelled wedding than irresponsible partner. You can drink and eat edibles and make sure nobody is affected by your actions. Put dog to the bedroom, keep children away, keep dangerous stuff above reaching height for a pet or a child. Show some consideration. Well done for standing ground, massive red flag. Hope the dog is doing better!
NTA your dog is as much a family as any other member. What would you have done if whatever happened to your dog, happened with your mom. I think a person with blatant disregard for your pet's life should not be a part of your life. However, I do urge you to consider if this is the first incident with your dog. If it is, you may want to sit down and talk to her about her negligent behaviour one last time. Set up pet cctv at home (consensual) and monitor her if she's keeping her side of the bargain.
It seems she has already had plenty of chances to redeem herself and has not. If she really is as irresponsible as posted, another chance could end up killing the dog, camera or no camera. Better to part ways now.
Load More Replies... You are NEVER an a*****e for choosing not to marry someone. It doesn't matter why ffs. If you don't want to be intensely intimately linked to that person for the rest of your existence then....just don't be.
NTA. She clearly ignored his instructions and endangered the dog, almost killing him. Who leaves chocolate and alcohol in places where a dog can eat them? I would not trust that woman with my dog or my kids.
Especially when coupled with her other habits that could harm or kill others. It seems like this was the straw that broke the camel's back, and they likely would have divorced within a couple years.
Load More Replies... I would have done the same. All these people “it’s just a dog” fu wouldn’t be the same response if their child who was let’s say deathly allergic to chocolate wound up nearly dead because she was negligent, no sir, it would be she’s not fit to be around kids, blah blah blah but as it’s an animal it’s life doesn’t seem as important right?
Yes....walk away...quickly. Embrace your dog, who is loyal, and your finalancee is not. You do not want to be married to an irresponsible drunk anyway.
Good job by dodging that bullet, getting married to a person that's clearly not your better half. If she really loved you or at least listened to you, she would've let you keep the dog for that night.
Agreed. If she loved him she would have done as he asked and made sure the dog was safe before getting on with the partying. She doesn't sound the sharpish knife in the block tbh and that's okay, all the time she's not responsible for other lives.
Load More Replies... Prob the straw breaking camels back here. Sounds like she doesn't think. Just acts an doesn't remember from experience when s**t happens that's bad. Maybe it was rash at that moment. (Glad doggie is ok.) But I could see that happening to a child with her not thinking ahead and being proactive. Also sounds like she's acting like a cutesie teen and not an adult. Stand your ground. After all it's your life and if you are happier and safer without her and doggo too, then so be it. No one lives your life but you. But anyone else can tear it apart. Honestly how could anyone leave food out like that with a dog around? They eat everything when you don't look. They vacuum crumbs very well. Lol. Yeah better off moving forward w out the drama. At least she didn't burn the house down.
NTA, maybe she didn't feed the dog chocolate (and weed?) and alcohol by hand, but the negligence wasn't accidental. I'd never trust a person like that again, and especially not with a child a couple of years down the line.
I thought it was too harsh but then saw she has a track record for doing stupid things which would worry me. It doesn't sound like he really cares for her either.
I think it's funny people calling him AH for calling off wedding. If it had been female writing complaining about BF, they would say run. Thing for me doesn't matter reason. If you feel you shouldn't marry someone then don't. Even if it's dumb to others, ultimately it's your life. People say you can work out issues after you get married, Now that's F...... dumb. Cause it doesn't work. More that 30% of marriages end before 5 years, more than 50% end before 20th year. According to research. Odds are not in peoples favor, so going into a wedding with issues means you will most likely fail.
I agree, but then I think he was right to get out of it!
Load More Replies... NTA. My cat is #1. I left a girlfriend over a cat years ago (another cat - Gina wasn't born then, she's just two now), and over "You gotta stop motorcyclind, you gotta quit smoking", which both went on top of "get rid of the cat, ain't he old enough to die anyway?" - he was 15 then, and, no, cats last a few years longer than just 15. He lived to be 20, and guess whose birthday I still know, and whose not.
yeah, in the middle of the text was already thinking that this just might be yet another reason to not go through with a wedding. And yep, he confirmed it to himself that simply she is not the person with who he would like to "stick around" till the end of days. So I guess it does not matter anymore if he's AH (thinking he is NTA though), but she does deserve a proper explanation.
I agree that the important thing is that they don't marry. I have ADHD and dealing with that is not for everyone.
Load More Replies... woa what a d**k : not marrying someone he doesn't want to marry noy following a wedding with someone he doesn't want to live with for the sake of others. not wife got lucky the dog didn't die but it wasn't thanks to her. it's like the friendzone complainers but it's the wife : not only did she endanger the dog (then got her family to back her up) but he has TOLD her not to, and she didn't care. [also : she isn't f*****g 17 she's 27!?😡😠 BITCHnothusband : 17 years do not, in fact, kill dogs!!!! Stop insulting teenagers over their age f**k!!]
My son is 12 and watches out that he doesn't drop chocolate on the floor. We have a rabbit hopping around.
Load More Replies... NTA. She took no precautions and I don't give a FK the situation or circumstances, being drunk is NO excuse. I'm married and if my wife ever did such a foolish thing that put my dog's life in danger (she never would, she isn't that stupid) I would divorce her. You are NTA, everyone else is. You made the right decision as you will NEVER be able to trust her after that. If she is that careless around your dog, she WILL BE that careless around your children. ANYONE defending his fiance should be sterilized because you are too emotionally stupid to breed.
NTA, I wouldn't risk it either. This time it's the dog, next time it is your child! She has proven not to be mature enough to take responsibility for another living being. You are. Find yourself another lady who resonates more.
Darling, you dodged a bullet by cancelling the wedding. Do NOT feel guilty for following your instincts. It seems obvious that this horrible incident isn't the first time your now ex-fiancée has demonstrated irresponsible behavior. It sounds like she either needs to grow up and/or sober up before she will be ready to take care of anyone besides herself. Lick your wounds, love your precious dog and move on, dear man. Best of luck!
You don’t need a “good enough” reason to decide not to marry someone. “I don’t want to” is all you need. No one has to justify not wanting to share a life with someone.
If she's that careless, I hope you've confronted her about that before. She continued the behavior, and it led to your dog getting injured. I would have done the same if I were in your place. If she cares that little about an animal life, a human's could be in more danger. You did the right thing instead of possibly ending up risking a child's life.
NTA!!! You must BE A RESPONSIBLE adult TO CONSUME ADULT PRODUCTS. NOT a mistake, IRRIESPONABILITY. She CHOSE to freely feed DANGEROUS *TO DOG* CONSUMABLES for ENTERTAINMENT!!!! I do believe you can file animal cruelty charges against all parties involved. Your narrative tells me this was the last straw. You owe no-one an explanation.
NTA. Clearly the girl can’t follow instructions and she has no common sense. Is she stoned all the time or just stupid? Repeatedly burning things on the stove? Jeez. Any one with half a brain knows chocolate can kill a dog. Booze is definitely bad. Edibles might be her issue. You dodged a bullet. Your family doesn’t seem to get what you’ve put up with. And inform your sister that almost killing your dog is a damn good reason to dump her. I would have wanted to kick her in the ass.
Whilst accidents can and do happen all the time, this is one of those 'accidents' that could have been easily avoided if she'd just done as she agreed to do when looking after the poor dog. There are lots of accidents you can minimise the risk from happening if you're just sensible ... like a wine glass is less likely to knocked off if it's on a table and not balanced unnattended on the arm of a sofa (lookin at you, Pete.. the stain is still there). I do get pissed off sometimes when people say 'oh it was just an accident' when it's something that could have easily been mitigated from happening with just a bit of personal responsibility and common sense.
Sunk Cost Fallacy could apply here: "the phenomenon whereby a person is reluctant to abandon a strategy or course of action because they have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial." I mean, he's hardly reluctant, but putting 4 years into a relationship is ZERO reason to stay in it. If there aren't other reasons, there are no reasons.
Honestly, it’s a tough call but if all it took was her being reckless to get him to call off a wedding, they clearly weren’t meant to be married. He’s just being protective and her choices aren’t ones that he should be stuck with. But the fact that people sided with her tells me that no one knows the actual story. She absolutely didn’t tell the truth and he is blinded by his priorities (which I would be too. You don’t mess with people’s pets. You just don’t.).
Oh good grief! Has this woman never lived with girl friends before? She certainly has had people in her life that have told her "You can't leave towels on a hot stove!" And that's just for openers. This "girl" is grossly immature. I'm sorry to the families who have spent oodles of time and money on this "couple" preparing for a wedding that should not go forward. It is so much safer, wiser and cheaper to call a halt before more damage is done. So glad the dog will survive, but it sounds like the dog was "just the last straw." Best for OP to come clean and say out loud to family and friends that he was having doubts about this relationship and wasn't man enough to admit he let things go too far. These 2 are not on the same path. Take your lumps OP and apologize to everyone and tell them you just can't marry this girl.
this relationship was not meant to be. too many emotional differences between the two. better cancelling the wedding now and ending the relationship before the wedding than to deal with the consequences of divorce. this relationship was doomed. it makes no sense to continue the relationship just because 4 years was already invested in it. continuing any longer involves wasting the future for both parties. NTA
I do agree with the fact that she was negligent, but more than her was him. If he’s being with her for more than 4 years and knew she was irresponsible why trusted his dog with her in a party night knowing she would be celebrating getting drunk? If he’s already had complaints about her during the whole relationship, why wait till the wedding day to gave up? I think he used the dog as excuse and the fact is that he didn’t really want to be with her and lying to her and to himself. So he also could avoid all this to happen breaking up before. I wouldn’t wait to something worse to happen to make an decision like he did.
YTA - for not being honest in the first place. My best friend and another friend almost killed my dog wiht similar carelessness and stupidity and I am still friends with them. I was angry for a long time, but mistakes do happen and he knows it. She dodged a bullet and hopefully learned a lesson.
I'm kind of torn... If it was me I would not have waited until this point to end the relationship (knowing what I know from your post). Maybe you didn't know any better but this was not the way to go about ending the relationship. Its hard to tell if you genuinely wanted to end it or if you are simply justifying to yourself after the fact so you can feel better about it, instead of dealing with the actual problem (whatever that might be). You were hurt that she didn't take care of your dog the way you expected but you also knew she could be careless. Your expectation of perfect safety when you know alcohol would be involved should have gone out the window. I don't bring my dog to parties and I certainly would not have one in our home where she is supposed to feel safe because anything can happen. I think you are equally AHs here.
This is a dangerous game if OP stayed with her she could do another carless thing that could get people injured and if they have children what will happen then she could possibly hurt them (accidently) due to the carelessness, my point is what she did with the dog could show the future of the children OP was right to do what he did, Nta.
NTA-she is careless and just doesn't listen or cares and she till this point always got away with it ..but it's gonna change and probably gonna hurt someone really bad,,,,just because they been together for 4 years they don't have to stay together
He’s totally NTA. I myself consider my furrbabies as my children.My biological kids consider them siblings. If you hurt them in any way. We cut you out of our lives.
OP trusted her when he left the dog with her (because she likes having him here) and gave clear instructions about what to do with the dog. Living with an irresponsible adult is the absolute worst! Nothing but resentment will follow until you can't take it anymore. Best to break it off now, rather than pay a divorce lawyer later. On the plus side, maybe, just maybe she has learned a good lesson!
Yes, you are an AH for wasting her time up till the moment of marriage as it seems you never actually loved her or accepted her. It's wrong to be careless but we all do have flaws and mistakes. If you really loved her, you could have told her and helped her change rather than tell the world about her flaws.. You knew she was careless, so why leave the dog? Or you could have called again to ensure that she has not forgotten your instructions. Moreover, she herself was so worried and crying alot. So she didn't intentionally harm him. If you are only after pointing out flaws and blaming, then maybe you didn't deserve her. Your children might be safe now in the future but would you condemn them if they are also careless or made some mistake???? Would you condemn your dog if he had accidentally harmed someone?? So you didn't really love her, thankfully this incident happened to reveal your shitty behavior to her and hope she gets someone better who loves his dog and also her truly.
He should not have left his dog at a function where there would be edibles. Even if he asked the dog to be locked up in their bedroom. He should have taken the dog with him and not left him in a party situation. In a party situation, people make errors of judgement.
He should take responsibility and acknowledge his own part in a tragic situation.
Load More Replies... Tough one... if my fiancé accidentally hurt my dog, I'd be livid... but I honestly can't see him ever being that irresponsible, not because he's such a responsible person who never does idiotic things, but because he knows how much my dog means to me... and if god forbid something did hurt Heinz while he was in his care, I would still marry him not just because I love him but because I know he knows how much Heinz means to me and I know he would never endanger him intentionally... sounds like OP just isn't really that into his fiancé, and this isn't an offence that's directly caused the break up, it's more like the straw that broke the camels back
Reading the post, even before OP got to it, I was thinking, "This is so clearly not (just) about the dog." There are accidents, and then there are behavioural patterns. The dog was just the last straw. OP needs to open up about this to his family, and say that the dog was just a wake-up call. The real issue was her irresponsible behaviour and reckless disregard for others.
It sounds like he wasn't sold on the idea of marriage to this woman in the first place. The incident with the dog just made a great lynchpin to get out.
I wouldn't want to be married to either of them. Obviously, they don't belong together.
In panel 12 he came to the realization that it really wasn't about the dog. That she wasn't trustworthy to have a future with (with all the examples he gave). He should have left it at that. No need to shame her by posting this. He doesn't need to explain to any one beyond that her behavior and the last straw was the dog. He said so himself 'that it was NOT about the dog and more about the totality of all the of it', just go with that. May have dodged a bullet here and saved money in the long run.
Sounds like there's been long term issues that has irked him, and the dog thing is just the trigger. He's not the a*****e for cancelling the wedding, but he is the a*****e for using what happened to the dog as an excuse to end it, and for letting the relationship go as far as planning a wedding before ending it. If there's been as many incidents as he says, and it's been something he's had issues with for a while, then WHY would you ask them to marry you?? I mean, these issues were clearly enough for them to end the relationship over, and there's no indication these incidents would stop any time soon, as it is "just the way she is".. So yeah, he was right in stopping the wedding because getting married with this much baggage just waiting to explode is unfair to everyone involved and could potentially be a huge economic strain on family that paid for the wedding.. NTA for cancelling the wedding, but 100% YTA for using the dog as an excuse to end it abruptly..
And for leaving his "beloved" dog at a party that was expected to get a bit wild (a bachelorette? With booze and edibles?) in the first place..
Load More Replies... It's strange that guy knows that his girlfriend is irresponsible yet left the dog with her for a BACHELOR'S PARTY? Everyone knows that these parties tend to get out of hand sometimes. If he was really the responsible one this is not hard thing to predict. Moreover if you didn't like your girlfriend's behavior, instead of proposing to her you could have try to question it, offer therapy (people with adhd tend to behave like this, it is not up to us) or simply just break up with her if it was so taugh.
NTA. She was told to lock the dog in the bedroom and she did not do it. Then she was either oblivious or didn't care that the dog was eating chocolate and consuming alcohol, both of which are highly toxic. That was NOT an accident and to all those saying, "well, the dog didn't die"! WTF is wrong with you? If it were a child that ended up hospitalized due to alcohol poisoning and other toxins would you say the same thing? I would never tolerate that level of ignorance or carelessness either and would have reacted the same by ending the relationship.
Yes, you were in the right to kick her out. You told her to put the dog in the bedroom, she did not! I bet anything that her and her friends were even giving the dog booze & edibles , because they thought it would be funny! At her age she needs to grow up. Thank God you did not marry her, or your child &/or dog could have died in her care! You saved a bullet!! Good job.
No, it's totally about the dog. Let it go further and next time it could be about the kids. NTA
This same thing is never going to happen again. I think you have just got some real pre wedding jitters. If all is well between you, other than this one incident, then marry, but if this is all it takes for you to walk away, then bye. It is a shame you both have wasted so much time with one another. You knew when you left the dog with her, she was going to likely get intoxicated. It was a bad move on your part to leave the dog at the party. It is comparable to leaving a small child with someone intoxicated. You made the mistake, not her. You were looking for a way out, you got it. I think the blame is with you, tho. Should not have left the dog at her party for her to take care of. She forgot which is what happens at parties and drinking. You made the wrong decision, not her. Get over yourself. or grow up. You are the truly responsible one who left the dog at the wrong house wrong time.
I've got ADHD , and I thank God my husband is a patient man. It sounds like she may have an attention issue . I'm really book smart, but totally common sense clueless. It's not something I do on purpose , and I can learn ways to think through things or remember things. Don't expect me to pick up on nuance or subtle hints. Just tell me what you want me to do or not do . Try to gently teach her how to act less impulsively , to think things through , to be more aware in the moment. Don't lose your absolute s**t and throw away four years . Not everyone sees life through the same lens . Be compassionate and try to fix the problem ... marriage is full of fixing problems and times will likely get tough at some point or other in your life. If you can't compassionately teach something so simple , you won't fare the hard times
I can't believe some keyboard warrior downvoted your thoughtful comment... It's like "perfect" people lurk around here.. Just, wow! smh in disbelief! If HE was soooo "responsible", WHY leave his "beloved" dog at a bachelorettr??!
Load More Replies... I would be very upset with her and if you have a list of things she has done or not done, I think you’re not really ready to marry her. You should let her know how serious you think these things are to you and see how that conversation goes. If she acts like they are no big deal and you are overreacting then I think you will never be happy with her. If she is willing to work on it, maybe you can work things out.
I have friends for every occasion. My friends don't know eachother. I keep it this way because they all have something to contribute-in different ways. One is GREAT to go shopping with but she SUCKS at sports. So I don't bring her riding horses because I know she'll either kill herself or someone else.
I wonder why all the comments calling this guy out for his part in this mess are getting downvoted? If so much about her was annoying / concerning him he must have spoken to her about it, I'd hope. He waited for this incident to happen, to call it off? This relationship was doomed; she seems to be a trainwreck (although I know people who have matured super fast when the kids come), but we are only seeing his side of the story and I don't see him covering himself in glory, tbh. HE left the dog with HER, at the end of the day. At a party that anyone can imagine might get wild...
Mistakes teach us, so having this same thing happen again is probably not even in the picture. I think you are baling out just because you are still not ready to be in a committed relationship where you have to handle another person's possibility of not being perfect all the time, what issues do you have that will affect her life? I just think you realized she is not the one and you are not truly ready to be in a marriage.
I think his fiance dodged a bullet. Yes, she was irresponsible but she didn't deliberately hurt the dog. I have a cat that I love more than life and in the same situation, I would have taken her with me while a party was going on because I understand that she probably means more to me than she does to anyone else. He clearly values his dog more than his future wife, which honestly is not a great position for any woman to be in. Maybe they are both the AH and are better off without each other.
Did anyone consider the possibility that she may have ADD or ADHD? Way to punish a person who may be suffering from a mental illness. Not to mention the fact the ridiculous need for a perfect partner. We all have flaws, we all make mistakes. I've burnt my share of cutting boards on the stove top, but I'm not so reckless as to leave edibles in toddler's reach. Some of these potential 'scenarios' are extremely exaggerated and make no common sense.
I'd never consider my ADD to be a mental illness, thanks.
Load More Replies... Did anyone ever consider she may have ADD or ADHD? Way to punish a person with a possible mental illness. Not to mention that he has very high expectations of a perfect partner. Good luck dude. smh..
He wanted to leave her to begin with. If he really loved her this wouldnt be a dealbreaker for an entire marriage. Im not minimizing this issue becasue its a dog, i would have thought the same if it was with a child.
You wouldn't walk away if she had done this to your child...??? Seriously? I see nothing wrong with this being a dealbreaker. All the other stuff - nothing came of it (through luck, not judgement). This though? She nearly killed his dog! A living, feeling creature who suffered due to her neglect. All she had to do was pop the dog safely in another room. Hardly difficult. If I didn't walk away over my dog, I would DEFINITELY walk away if she'd done this to my child. She didn't love him enough to do as he asked.
Load More Replies... He wanted to leave her to begin with. If he really did love and want to be with her this wouldnt have been a dealbreaker for the entire marriage.
Hurt my pet and you'd be out of my life fast. I've got my priorities straight.
Load More Replies... Sounds like she may have ADHD which impacts the way people focus and often leads them to forget important things (like removing a towel from a stove burner or putting the dog in the bedroom) because they've already moved on and are thinking about the next thing. That said, sounds like this was not a good match.
Then she might need to rethink the edibles: https://www.additudemag.com/cannabis-use-disorder-marijuana-adhd/
Load More Replies... Well, we agree on one thing at least: they're better off not together. You make a lot of suppositions in your post... (1) The OP is uptight. No, he had just reached his breaking point with her last episode of supreme careless irresponsibility. (2) The OP "abruptly...threw her under the bus". No again - this was the final straw in a multitude of careless events. (3) Her family is invested emotionally and financially in him. How on earth could you possibly know this and, more importantly, what bearing does does this have on HIM? (4) You don't think she would have reacted the same way towards the OP. Once again, how could you know this - are you omniscient? But if, for some reason, she didn't call off the wedding, it would only be due to her pathetic, dependent, addictive personality. You are correct - someone dodged a bullet, but it was the groom-to-be. His ex needs professional help of some type and his gut was telling him so.
Load More Replies... How do you know he didn't talk to her about those things. Why would anyone think he didn't think it was worth mentioning to her at least??? He doesn't say he didn't ask her not to text and drive, not to leave things on the oven - though quite frankly those are bloody obviously stupid things to do. Doesn't take a genius IQ to know that. He's also not her dad and isn't actually responsible for her being a complete numpty as she leaps from one near disaster to another. He lost it when she caused ACTUAL harm and he's right to consider his dog important enough - we have to be responsible for those in our care, animals and children. What on earth would she be like as a mother. Would she still think it okay to text and drive? Leave things within reach of a child? She needs to wake up and start taking responsibility for herself. Not his job to do it for her. She clearly didn't love him enough to listen to his wishes and make the dog safe.
Load More Replies... We don't know that he didn't talk to her about it. He doesn't mention that one way or another. 'Bad drunken mistake' is no excuse, she should have put the dog somewhere safe as she was asked to do BEFORE getting off her face.
Load More Replies... How is he mean? She didn't listen to him and put his dog at risk. That's not just careless. It's selfish and stupid. She sounds like she's highly negligent about safety and it will only be a matter of time before something else happens that might actually kill. Of course he's angry over his dog - I'd be livid.
Load More Replies... The other incidents didn't harm a living creature, of course this one made him snap! The consequences were far worse. The others were potentially dangerous but she had so far been lucky and he probably kept hoping she's finally twig how foolish she is being. It is absolutely reasonable that this one finally caused him to realise that she's not going to think sufficiently about the risks she is taking and the danger she is putting others in, even if she won't wake up and realise it about herself. How selfish not to remember or consider his request to make sure the dog was safe. He's NTA at all.
Load More Replies... He told her very clearly to put the dog somewhere safe first - she chose not to do that. Dogs are trainable but even the best in the world can be very tempted. I worked with people with guide dogs. Highly trained but would still steal food when they could - Labradors are renowned for being walking dustbins. Purposefully or not, she didn't do the right thing and she put a living creature at risk. He might have found all the other things manageable in the past because so far no-one had been harmed - this was the straw the broke the camels back.
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