A lot of us feel pressured to conform. It takes a lot of guts to voice your opinion when you know the vast majority of people are likely to criticize you for it. That’s exactly what the men of Reddit have been doing on the r/AskMen subreddit.

Redditor M_RONA asked them to share their opinions that are generally unpopular among men, and they’ve been opening up about their honest thoughts. Candid, some might say even vulnerable, these opinions are bound to resonate with quite a few readers who might think the same but might find it difficult to talk about in public for fear of being ostracized.

You’ll find these ‘unmanly’ and ‘unpopular’ opinions below, so have a read and let us know what you thought of them in the comments, Pandas. Upvote the opinions that you agree with and be sure to share your perspective about why men are pressured to conform to a rigid set of ideas, likes, and behaviors.

I reached out to redditor M_RONA, the author of the viral thread, and had a great chat with him about masculinity, the inspiration behind the question, as well as the pressure that many people in society feel to conform to certain standards.

"I think, as men, we need to be more open about our issues and acknowledge the fact that we face some tough [stuff], often imposed on us by other guys," he told Bored Panda. "There’s nothing wrong with being honest about what’s bothering us, and I think just being able to talk about some of the issues we face would be a major contributing factor to our general well-being. Something as simple as just asking our friends how they’re doing in life could go a long way!" Scroll down for the in-depth interview, dear Pandas, this isn't something you'd want to miss.

#1

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think If a guy is bashing some woman behind her back saying all sorts of awful things but to her face is being all nice and flirty with the sole goal of f**king her then dropping her, you're getting no "bro code" from me. I will absolutely out you.

I have no problem with hook ups at all, but if you're going to act like a scumbag, I'm going to treat you like one. I don't care if that's labeled as white knighting or whatever the f**k. It's not even about gender, if somebody is being super phony trying to take advantage of somebody else, you have zero respect from me and I will burn you to the ground in whatever way available to me.

TheThrowawayAdvic , Eric Ward Report

Caro Caro
Community Member
1 month ago

As a woman all I can say is THANK YOU.

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Redditor M_RONA said that he's personally not a big fan of the term 'toxic masculinity' because he feels like it misrepresents reality and sometimes gets used where it isn't applicable. That's not to say it doesn't exist, however, it does mean that the term's sometimes misused. "While I absolutely agree that there are many male traits taken to the extreme that have horrible consequences for the people around them, I think the term is sadly being overused to mislabel normal and perfectly healthy male behavior," he told Bored Panda.

However, he pointed out that he believes that a lot of the harm and pressures put on men are "often put forth by other men." In short, men pressure other men to conform in terms of behaviors, attitudes, character, and activities. This can make any sort of emotional vulnerability extremely difficult. "I saw a ton of examples of that in the comments on my post, where a lot of guys were talking about how, as a man, they found it extremely difficult to talk and be open about their feelings. I think that stems from this notion that men are supposed to be so hardened and stoic that we never let things get to us, and if we ever experience a negative emotion, we shouldn’t process it, we should just bottle it up and 'be a man.'"

#2

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think It’s ok to call other guys good looking. Not tell them directly, but just be able to tell your friends “hey you know what, that guy over there is handsome”. Doesn’t make me gay, or make me weird in any way. I feel comfortable enough with myself that I can acknowledge there are some damn good looking guys out there, so good for them.

iginca , Ruthson Zimmerman Report

Caro Caro
Community Member
1 month ago

This is a really good point you just made. I have nothing further to add !

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#3

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think Sports are overrated. At least watching them is

Abigboi , Leio McLaren Report

John
Community Member
1 month ago

YES! I much prefer to participate than spectate!

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M_RONA pointed out that having a "hardened mind and a stoic attitude are certainly virtuous values" (and I fully agree), however, taken to the extreme, the notion of 'be a man' can be classified as toxic masculinity if it's all done at the cost of expressing one's feelings.

"I think the top comment on the post right now is about men doing yoga, which has almost exclusively positive effects on both the body and mind, but a lot of guys were finding it hard to begin with because it’s 'something that only women do,' and were expressing discontent at the fact that a lot of their male peers would look down on them if they started doing yoga. I’m not sure if not doing yoga is directly correlated to depression, but the basic attitude of 'men should do this, and women should do that' is hampering to both men and women, I think, something both sexes are guilty of doing, unfortunately," M_RONA mused.

#4

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think Crying and being emotional is not only normal, but can be a needed cathartic release as well.

There's nothing wrong with wearing your emotions on your sleeve.

Ericrobertson1978 , Christian Erfurt Report

fire bug
Community Member
1 month ago

I am a guy who grew up with four sisters. When we watched a sad part in any movie, it was always my dad and I bawling. I have three daughters now and my wife and girls watch for the tears to flow when something sad happens on a show. I'm a big guy but I cry like a baby when happy or sad.

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#5

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think Women are abused and poorly treated across the board at a rate that is nothing short of disgraceful

Diff4rent1 Report

Caro Caro
Community Member
1 month ago

Thank you.

Scagsy
Community Member
1 month ago

I read recently that there is a correlation between women being abused and the national football team losing. Just let that sink in. A football team lost and so some to$$er thinks it's ok to knock his partner around because of it. As a man that makes me angry and ashamed to be a male.

Penny Fan
Community Member
1 month ago

Yep, but somehow women are the "over-emotional" sex...

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I I
Community Member
1 month ago

women are still not treated as equal even after over a 100 years of fighting for rights , always said the world would be better if women ran it

J. F.
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

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Seeing how the government is run with women in charge makes me kind of doubting that (Germany). Women aren't less flawless than men

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Tamra Stiffler
Community Member
1 month ago

At least in the US, the current statistic is: 1 in 3 women will experience domestic abuse. One. In. Three.

backatya
Community Member
1 month ago

I've seen guys get mistreated on common basis

similarly
Community Member
1 month ago

I know. This really, really bothers me. There is an epidemic of violence and abuse of women and girls in America, and really, I'm sure, in every country. It's frightening.

Brendan
Community Member
1 month ago

It is awful the way some women are treated. But it is important to consider the men. We make up 40% of domestic violence victims. Yet, a huge majority of shelters accept only women.

Elmie Pumpkinbush
Community Member
1 month ago

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Jane W.
Community Member
1 month ago

And children, too.

MarsFKA
Community Member
1 month ago

Used to be that the biggest killer of women was childbirth. Now it's violent husbands and boyfriends – usually when hard drugs are involved.

Tom Susala
Community Member
1 month ago

Completely agree

Tobias Rieper
Community Member
1 month ago

its terrible to that this happens and it sometimes makes me ashamed of being a man but then i remember any man that puts hands on a woman when its not self defence is not really a man

Anita Pickle
Community Member
1 month ago

Yep

Don't Look
Community Member
1 month ago

Especially right now. *facepalm

Ghougle
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment has been deleted.

Lovin' Life
Community Member
1 month ago

Very true!

DennyS (denzoren)
Community Member
1 month ago

Yep, this is so true.

Jo Choto
Community Member
1 month ago

That's a very popular opinion with a lot of Pandas, I bet!

Crowley The Snake
Community Member
1 month ago

Yes, because it's true, whats your point

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Johnny Ward
Community Member
1 month ago

It is, just that disgraceful. Apologies to our queens.

HorrorEyeArcade
Community Member
1 month ago

since i can't reply directly, travis, we aren't saying men aren't abused too. in fact, i'll say the abuse rate for all genders is beyond disgusting. but women are a demographic that gets treated as such more, I'd say

Prestigous Cactus
Community Member
1 month ago

Yes I'm sure most men are very satisfied with the level of abuse in society(!)

Travis Daniels
Community Member
1 month ago

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People should look into how much men are mistreated. It might just shock you

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#6

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think That both men and women can strictly just be platonic friends with one another without ulterior motives.

KazenY2J , Brooke Cagle Report

Jo Choto
Community Member
1 month ago

In America, this is a very popular opinion that men and women can't be friends. Quite a shock for me when I went to live there and found that all my "normal" interactions with men were considered flirting or trying to steal someone's man. Living in Europe and Africa, I made lots of male platonic friends that I still have, and we stayed buddies.

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I was very interested to find out the inspiration behind the question because it seemed to resonate with quite a lot of redditors. M_RONA was kind enough to share the spark and the motivation behind the thread.

"Honestly, I was taking the metro on the way home from university, and I just randomly started thinking about what kind of beverages I like. When I’m out drinking I usually drink a lot of beer, which I guess is considered more manly than other alcoholic drinks, but for example, I also love me a mean passionfruit daiquiri, which I think a lot of guys would maybe frown upon," he said that this is when he started thinking about societal rules, standards, and expectations.

"I started having a mental conversation with myself about why we set these 'rules' for what we should and shouldn’t drink as men, and I’ve always personally believed that if you think something tastes good, go for it! And from there I thought about all the other rules we set for each other as guys, and what other opinions I have that would maybe be considered unpopular amongst my peers. So that’s basically where the inspiration came from."

#7

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think Strip clubs are depressing and lame

Raidicus , Nick Bolton Report

Scagsy
Community Member
1 month ago

Went in once with a group of friends and the girls were all there dancing and gyrating for money. I actually felt sad and hated every minute of it. Even when one of the guys paid for me (he thought I couldn't afford) to have a private dance it was one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. You have zero connection with this person dancing and yet, there she is, thrusting her bottom in your face. I'm not into 'erotic' dancing, I'm more a personality kind of guy, I guess.

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#8

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think Working 80hrs a week doesn't make you any more of a man than working 40 hrs a week. We are all out to get bread, stop dehumanizing other men for not working their life away. It’s okay to have weekends off and enjoy life.

Kinkyfxcker , Atoms Report

fire bug
Community Member
1 month ago

I totally agree. I am closer to 80 hours than 40 though but I like my job and am always able to take off when I want to. I have three kids so sometime I like to take a random day or half day just for fun. The hours work for me but doesn't mean I am more of a "man" than anyone else. If you are doing something you love and can support what you need to on 20 hours, congrats.

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#9

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think Sitting on the toilet to pee is much more convenient, clean and hygienic. Also using a bit of toilet-paper to wipe the tip instead of shaking

xonxtas , 99.films Report

Pungent Sauce
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Plus I can sit for minute in privacy and check BP, total win.

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The redditor believes that the question might have resonated with so many internet users because guys "find themselves in a position of wanting to do things they might feel like they can't do because of these societal norms we set for ourselves." M_RONA shared with Bored Panda that r/AskMen is a very "open and accepting community," so men often have the opportunity of expressing themselves without being judged. (Being anonymous helps, too.)

"Maybe they saw it as a way to vent about bad [stuff] they’ve experienced, and my post was a good route to filter it through, while at the same time getting a lot of support from understanding peers," he said.

The author of the thread believes that social pressure to conform doesn't care about gender or sex. "I think we all face issues of conformity and set expectations for what we’re supposed to do, and I guess it’s up to all of us to promote and cheer on people who don’t fit into certain categories that we make for ourselves," he explained his thoughts. When I asked whether he'd like to add anything else, M_RONA joked, "Buy and hold GME," referring to the mass buying of Gamestop shares that happened earlier this year.

#10

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think I like fruity "feminine" drinks!!! I am a whisky/scotch man but give me a Mai Tai and I will drink the s**t out of it. I have never understood why men aren't supposed to like drinks that taste good.

ens_expendable , Richard Brutyo Report

Mike Crow
Community Member
1 month ago

Why is beer considered a mans drink yet it has lower alcohol % than wine.

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#11

Buying tampons for your wife/girlfriend/daughter/mistress/one night stand is not a big deal.

-RUNPMT- Report

ZAPanda
Community Member
1 month ago

Also bother to note the brand/size/absorption strength etc.

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#12

If it's honest work and you're able to keep on top of the bills, there's no shame in your job.

You can live a fine comfortable life without ever setting foot in a college.

ThatRookieGuy80 Report

Tiny Dynamine
Community Member
1 month ago

Yep! I have a degree in psychology and am an experienced teacher, but I'm working part time as a cleaner right now! No people, no hassle, it's nice.

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The pressure for men to conform to a certain ‘ruleset’ of attitudes and behaviors has a lot to do with the prevalence of toxic masculinity, as opposed to healthy masculinity. In short, toxic masculinity is an older set of ‘ideals’ that emphasizes a lack of emotional vulnerability and values aggression.

Psychotherapist Silva Neves from the United Kingdom explained to Bored Panda earlier that toxic masculinity is related to “a general attitude perpetuated by systemic misogyny” rather than specific behaviors.

According to psychotherapist Silva, toxic masculinity is “a set of distorted ideas about what men should be like.” At the core of this harmful idea lie the beliefs that men should “always be winners,” shouldn’t feel vulnerable, and shouldn’t be perceived as ‘weak’ or ‘soft.’

#13

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think I love chubby girls

Craigdickson1980 Report

Sam Yobado
Community Member
1 month ago

Love what you love.

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#14

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think It's not gay to touch or hug your friends

SmolAnus , Thiago Barletta Report

Scagsy
Community Member
1 month ago

I used to always give my mates a hug and occasionally I have even given them a peck on the cheek if I hadn't seen them in a while. I think that if you are insecure in your sexuality then this may be the cause of this opinion. I'm secure in my heterosexuality so it's easy for me and I don't have to justify it to anyone.

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#15

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think “Not all men just want to hook up, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Even when I was app dating (in a long term relationship now), I was not dating to hook up. I straight up turned down one night stands and various sexual encounters with women I knew I had no interest in seeing again. The concept that I’d turn down a willing and consenting partner and leave a situation where I could have gotten laid was a foreign and “wrong” idea to everyone I discussed it with. The prevailing opinion was: ‘dude just hookup and bail, even if you know you’re not going to see her again you can have some fun first.’ Don’t know why no one else saw it my way. I just am not into sex with someone I’m not invested in and don’t trust yet.

Ollivander451 Report

Steph Harrison
Community Member
1 month ago

The definition of demisexual, and absolutely nothing wrong with it.

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“A man with healthy masculinity is the opposite to these traits: someone who is self-reflective, embraces their emotions including sadness, anxiety and crying, a man who isn't afraid of their own femininity and believes that women are equal, and therefore are very clear about respecting boundaries and consent with women,” the mental health expert went into detail what healthy masculinity looks like.

What’s more, followers of healthy masculinity “embrace gender, sex, and relationship diversities, including gay men and transgender people.” In Silva’s opinion, a person who embraces healthy masculinity “is comfortable with their opinions to be challenged and able to have debates.”

Toxic masculinity potentially poses a danger to both men and the people around them, the psychotherapist highlighted. Toxic masculinity is most often expressed either through violence or the threat of violence.

#16

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think Most guys don't put nearly as much effort into their attractiveness as the women they think they deserve to date.

Hollywood899 , Drew Hays Report

Tiny Dynamine
Community Member
1 month ago

Never mind, attractiveness means very little in a relationship. It's 90% about the chemistry between two people.

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#17

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think Personality is better than attractiveness. Some of my close buddies try to only go for 10/10 chicks. Like ya that’s good and all but if you can’t even talk to the girl then what’s the point

Derman0524 Report

Pungent Sauce
Community Member
1 month ago

A lot of people, both men and women, think physical attractiveness is an acceptable substitute for a personality and/or intelligence. They are wrong.

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#18

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think People shouldn’t be pressured to always be high achievers or to have some huge goal they’re working towards. I’m not saying it’s OK to be “lazy,” but equally we don’t all have to be aiming to become senior managers or famous celebs. Some dudes just like to go to the 9-5, put in their time, come home and chill with the family and that’s totally fine.

Hooch_Pandersnatch , Hunters Race Report

Elsker
Community Member
1 month ago

where would we be with only managers and CEO's if nobody wants to do the other work?

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“The main danger of toxic masculinity is that those men can be emotionally abusive and/or physically violent and sexually violent to women,” the expert said.

“They can also be aggressive to gay people. They perpetuate toxic messages of masculinity so toxic masculinity is usually passed down to their children and peers maintaining the problems,” the mental health expert noted that family members can pass down certain harmful beliefs from generation to generation. That means that widespread positive changes would take a long time to take root.

“Toxic masculinity also harms the men themselves because repressing their own emotions so much can lead to mental health issues, depression, and even suicide. Toxic masculinity harms everybody.”

#19

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think That being a dad, is in fact, my actual favorite thing to do.

I have painstakingly procured a life, and career, that allows me to exercise at work, practice my hobby during working hours (BJJ). So basically I telework. But I am not monitored. I do all my work that needs to get done on time and early and above standard. So nobody questions what I do during the day. But they do know. I have told my supervisor and when s**t pops, it never gets in the way of work. Balance. So that way all my time when my kids get out of school can be devoted to them with 100% of my attention. That way I can listen to them, really listen to remember those things that are super important to them. I ducking love watching them explore the world and first crushes and turning down boys and my little guy thinking he’s he-man cause he lifted a gallon of milk. Lest we forget that’s a mans first feat of strength to show mommy we are big boys. F**king love it.

iamthemadking , Kelli McClintock Report

Hans
Community Member
1 month ago

Unpopular? I actually took about a year of parental leave for each child and while most people guessed it would be a career killer, it wasn't (admittedly, I worked a bit every night to keep myself in the loop). What's more important: I got to spent pretty much most of every day of the first year of life of my children with them. That was totally worth it. "They grow so fast" is not only a stupid proverb. They grow so fast! Spending time with them while they are young is but a tiny fraction of your total life. I am grateful that staying home worked for me (which means that many puzzle pieces need to come together), and I wish it to become possible for all who would fancy it – I truly do.

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#20

That it’s ok to genuinely want affection

LightningScar80 Report

Scagsy
Community Member
1 month ago

I think my wife thinks I'm like a puppy lately because I keep wanting hugs. (I'm struggling a bit right now).

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#21

People can wear whatever clothes they wanna and it doesn't define sexuality!!!!

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/q2h35s/comment/hfmnljo/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 , Cody Black Report

Tiny Dynamine
Community Member
1 month ago

I tell you, near me, in the UK, I quite often see schoolboys wearing skirts and I feel proud of them for doing so. I saw one lad walking down the street with his dad like that, some boys in a charity shop where one wore a skirt and was buying a dress. Good on them.

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#22

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think It’s better to have quality sexual encounters instead of quantitative

level 1 Shintaigou , Jakob Owens Report

Susie Elle
Community Member
1 month ago

Jesus Christ, thank you! I thought I was one of the few who feels like this. I'd rather have great sex once a week than meh-sex five times a week.

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#23

Sports are dumb.

Everyone packing into crowds so they can fawn over some guys because they can throw a ball through a hoop, or whatever? Dumb. Pointless. A huge waste of time and resources.

Think of what we could do if we took all the time and money and attention and passion spent on overly complicated kids games and put it toward something productive or rewarding. It’s a drain on human potential without returning anything.

Plus is encourages aggression and tribalism, stupid conflicts and exclusionary behaviors. And we make our education system so much more expensive because we insist on attaching our schools to minor-league sports teams.

LaughDull967 Report

Peter Bear
Community Member
1 month ago

Sports aren't dumb. PROFESSIONAL sports are dumb. Especially the ludicrously high amounts of money we spend on them. And I'm not just talking athlete salaries, but the costs of infrastructure, buildings/stadiums, etc. Just imagine if we paid teachers like we pay pro athletes...

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#24

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think Being able to beat up another man you have an issue with doesn’t make you the stronger man, or correct.

LeverTech Report

Thorfin Wolfsbane
Community Member
1 month ago

We should all study Bruce Lee's "The Art of Fighting Without Fighting"

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#25

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think I prefer small breasts. A full figured woman with hips and an arse, but small(er) breasts. The whole huge breast phenomenon just doesnt gel with me.

Itty bitty titty committee all the way.

ThrowRA-4545 , Rowan Chestnut Report

Mike Crow
Community Member
1 month ago

Everyone has different tastes for everything.

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#26

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think Telling your friends you love them is perfectly normal

Laufayette Report

Rockstar
Community Member
1 month ago

There's this lovely word....*platonic* Real fancy, mean I can love someone without wanting to lay them.

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#27

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think Cooking for yourself is fun as s**t and extremely rewarding.

pegleg_1979 Report

otplus
Community Member
1 month ago

I am the one who always cook for my girlfriend, at the start she did not care for cooking, but after helping me a few times, she likes to cook with me as a bonding experience. Not that a few breakfast in bed when she is feeling down does not help to that.

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#28

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think I get a bit emotional while listening to beautiful music... It's my opinion that men would rather do this while alone.

gesshoom , Andriyko Podilnyk Report

Kirsten Kerkhof
Community Member
1 month ago

I made a big man cry (I swear it was completely unintentional, just wanted to share the music) with 'Mille Regretz' by Josquin des Prez. It's a 16th century chanson and IMO absolutely hauntingly beautiful.

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#29

More military related, but women absolutely have a place in the infantry. I had the privilege serve alongside some of the toughest women I’ve ever met. They could outrun and outgun many of our guys any day of the week.

CopeMint41 Report

Tiny Dynamine
Community Member
1 month ago

How about this: Military absolutely has no place in the world.

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#30

30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think Yoga is a great thing to do if you work laborious jobs.

venom259 , wee lee Report

anarkzie
Community Member
1 month ago

The problem with yoga is that it is mostly marketed towards women in the West, so few guys try it. I think if more guys gave it a go and stuck it out for at least two weeks you would see this become a popular opinion.

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