Making a character in a book seem realistic and interesting is no easy task. It’s not down to just your skills as a writer, though. You actually have to know a bit about who you’re writing about. In other words—do your research. Unfortunately, there are some male writers out there who seem to have major problems writing female characters and seem shy about asking their female friends for advice.

That’s where the ‘Men Write Women’ Twitter page comes in. It documents the scariest and most cringe-worthy examples of men writing about women without having any idea about them or their anatomy. Scroll down and read for yourselves, dear Pandas, because some of these examples have to be seen to be believed—that’s how unreal they are. Remember to upvote the best of the worst.

The project was started back in 2019 when Meghan Vondriska launched her version of the ‘Men Writing Women’ Reddit community. Now, the ‘Men Write Women’ Twitter page has 63k followers and there are 666 fans who follow their Instagram page. Very spooky and perfect for Halloween. "Women just want to be written as human. That's it. There isn't some wild scientific equation to writing women, and it isn't difficult. Write them as human, with complex feelings, not as body parts that happen to be put together into a feminine form," Vondriska told Bored Panda.

More info: Twitter | Instagram | MegVondriska.com

#1

This Is The Best One Yet

This Is The Best One Yet

ewillard42 Report

Stephanie Did It
Community Member
4 months ago

Lord of the Toilet Rings

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#2

We Don’t Get Real Pockets In Pants Because We Have Tiny Purses In Our Vaginas!!! (Stuart Woods, Desperate Measures)

We Don’t Get Real Pockets In Pants Because We Have Tiny Purses In Our Vaginas!!! (Stuart Woods, Desperate Measures)

menwritewomen Report

Vincent Philippart
Community Member
4 months ago

Is that possible? (Don't judge. I don't do vaginas, so they're a bit of mystery to me)

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#3

"3 And A Half Milliboobs Per Handful"

"3 And A Half Milliboobs Per Handful"

Christimay , www.reddit.com Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
4 months ago

hahaha omg. Miliboobs

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"I'm an avid reader, but the straw that broke the camel's back was a novel my boyfriend lent me, where the female character was described by her breasts and the male character was described by his personality. Working in advertising, I tend to be Very Online, and so taking my anger to Twitter seemed like a natural parallel. I was familiar with the Men Writing Women subreddit, but created a Twitter account in order to craft a consistent narrative and to build a community that wasn't hidden behind anonymity," Vondriska revealed what inspired her to create 'Men Write Women.'

Vondriska, from Wisconsin, devours 3 to 5 books each week. (Meanwhile, our piles of started-but-unfinished books keep on growing.)

According to the founder of the 'Men Write Women' Twitter page, a lot of male writers who tend to be thought of as the "founders of the literary canon" are continuous offenders. "John Updike, for instance. But the greatest repeat offender is definitely Stephen King. His portrayal of his female characters is honestly offensive," Vondriska said.

#4

Yes, Men Would Be Amaaazing At Handling Pregnancy - Evolution Really Screwed This One Up. Bonus Points For “No Woman Gets Raped Unless She’s Looking For It.”

Yes, Men Would Be Amaaazing At Handling Pregnancy - Evolution Really Screwed This One Up. Bonus Points For “No Woman Gets Raped Unless She’s Looking For It.”

cheribella Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
4 months ago

I feel like this idiot may also be a sitting member of Congress. https://time.com/3001785/todd-akin-legitimate-rape-msnbc-child-of-rape/

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#5

Well Damn, Where Are All My Kids Then??

Well Damn, Where Are All My Kids Then??

lilycama Report

Angela Turrall
Community Member
4 months ago

But did she have a tiny purse in her vagina? Just big enough for her drivers license?

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#6

Let's Not Forget This Gem Either

Let's Not Forget This Gem Either

isapphic Report

Stephanie Did It
Community Member
4 months ago (edited)

Just imagine the reverse: "every hair in my beard becoming a tiny penis"

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However, it isn't all doom and gloom in the literary world. There are male writers who can write women well, too. "Terry Pratchett is wonderful, and I've yet to see a submission from Michael Crichton," Vondriska shared that she, like many of us, is a Pratchett fan.

Vondriska also pointed out that, in her opinion, the best writers are well-read. So she encouraged all of us to read more and (most importantly) read more widely.

"Pay attention to what you're reading, and who you're reading. You have to make sure your bookshelf isn't made up of just men. Add in some spice—some female authors, some nonbinary authors, authors of color. And lastly, just because you were assigned a book in high school, doesn't mean its good!"

#7

Ugly Women Without Good Personalities Should Kill Themselves [rivers Of London By Ben Aaronovitch]

Ugly Women Without Good Personalities Should Kill Themselves [rivers Of London By Ben Aaronovitch]

reddit.com Report

Vincent Philippart
Community Member
4 months ago (edited)

Jesus...

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#8

This Made My Breasts Frown

This Made My Breasts Frown

lordeandsaviour Report

Rowlie
Community Member
4 months ago

Lately my breasts only cry and sigh deeply. I miss all the smiling

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#9

That's Not How Any Of This Works

That's Not How Any Of This Works

menwritewomen Report

Lord Mysticlaw
Community Member
4 months ago

Oh dear, this guy just revealed himself to be a very very confused virgin.

Marcellus the Third
Community Member
4 months ago

Or he has a leaky butt problem and should consider visiting his doctor.

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Miss Milinky
Community Member
4 months ago

Why is it so easy to confuse arousal with a shart?

Yvonne Blau
Community Member
4 months ago

Oh my gosh! :-D

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Michael Se
Community Member
4 months ago

If buttholes worked like this, we gay men would save so much money on lube.

No You
Community Member
4 months ago

Underrated comment

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Theodore Theodora
Community Member
4 months ago

Yeah, if your butt h*le is getting wet, that's not arousal...

Jamma
Community Member
4 months ago

"Then I realized it was just the reappearance of the Doritos Locos taco I ate earlier..."

Jo Choto
Community Member
4 months ago

Ah yes, the self-moisturizing b******e, also known as... diarrhoea?

Tiffini
Community Member
4 months ago

A**l leakage = not aroused. Dear God.

Michelle C
Community Member
4 months ago

mine tends to do that after eating Chipotle...not very appealing

TheDemonUnderYourBed
Community Member
4 months ago

🤣Oh goodness.... I'm loosing my s**t just reading this🤣

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The Dave
Community Member
4 months ago

Good lord, what book is this?! Was this written by a 13 year-old boy?

Jessica Chant
Community Member
4 months ago

That’s called swamp ass and you should go see a doctor 😆

Karine Yakeula
Community Member
4 months ago

😂😂😂...gonna use that from on “ swamp ass” 😂😂😂

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bv7hearts
Community Member
4 months ago

That's the diarrhea.

Michał Jastrzębski
Community Member
4 months ago

if her butt is getting wet all by itself, its bad, stinky news.

LSS
Community Member
4 months ago

Oh no child. Oh no no no no. If your b******e feels wet.. you've sharted yourself.

MRK
Community Member
4 months ago

Sounds like you should be making a doctor's appointment asap!

Stephanie Did It
Community Member
4 months ago

HAHAHAHAHA

Jane Martin
Community Member
4 months ago

I just threw up in my mouth

WildBerry
Community Member
4 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Did you swallow it back down? Give us all the details because your comment is so classy and fascinating.

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Cassandra
Community Member
4 months ago

Did this author get his ideas about female characters and buttholes from reading yaoi and bad slash fiction? Cause that’s the only place i’ve seen self-lubricating buttholes before.

Elida Lechuga
Community Member
4 months ago

Her butt hole might be wet due to a wet fart.

Bored Little Panda
Community Member
4 months ago

Oh ewww

KT Pinto
Community Member
4 months ago

Why is there a guy sitting next to... her? Wait, where does it say that this character is a female. This could be a gay scene... This is just horrible writing.

Zophra
Community Member
4 months ago

Failed the school's sex ed class...

Draga Millani
Community Member
2 months ago

rly glad this doesnt happen IRL

Levity Camilleri
Community Member
3 months ago

Wow, I'm tooooootally aroused by someone as frigging dumb as this. 🙄

Caroline Driver
Community Member
4 months ago

Hm. Perhaps they peed themselves and the wet knickers have a wick effect and this is why the a**s is wet. Very sexy.

TheDemonUnderYourBed
Community Member
4 months ago

... OUR ASSHOLES DO NOT GET WET BECAUSE WE FEEL HORNY! IT'S OUR ***************** damn that felt good to vent about🤣

Sasha Kuleshov
Community Member
4 months ago

Maybe you should check with a physician :P

TrashPandaru
Community Member
4 months ago

Oh christ don't tell Ben Shapiro

Charlotte Stewart
Community Member
4 months ago

About this guy's wet a$$ a$$?

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Becklass
Community Member
3 days ago

Diarrhoea?

Lacey Metzger
Community Member
1 week ago

WTF??? That's not how it works!

Meko
Community Member
1 month ago

Yeah cause my poop biologically needs a male in order to poop other wise I need surgery. Yeah...

Signe Manat Hansen
Community Member
1 month ago

Hot damn it I was aroused

Anxious-lesbian-disaster
Community Member
4 months ago

Oh my gods

Ella Greenman
Community Member
2 weeks ago

PJO refrance?

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Kay Maxey
Community Member
4 months ago

This could be written by a gay guy couldn’t it? I don’t see any feminine pronouns. Who is this character?

Yvon Barker
Community Member
2 months ago

Looks like Mpreg fiction to me - lol

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Liz
Community Member
4 months ago

I saw something like this in the depths of Wattpad once

Lunar Owo Potato
Community Member
4 months ago

I uh think i have lost my appetite for the chocolate i was going to eat

COcO BAMa
Community Member
4 months ago

umm. can we just question the book what genre is this

Brandi VanSteenwyk
Community Member
4 months ago

Oh man, oh man, oh man!! My b******e puckered tightly when imagining what the fellow was in for. Definitely not the smooth ride he anticipated.

Purr·maid
Community Member
4 months ago

This poor dear must have diarrhea.

No You
Community Member
4 months ago

Oh honey that’s called diarrhea

Patricia Pitsel
Community Member
4 months ago

Has he received the Novel prize yet for discoveries in medicine?

M Kate McCulloch
Community Member
4 months ago

swamp ass anyone? I mean there are a couple ways a butt hole can get wet and they are: Lubricant, Sweat, Shower (or any form of submersion in water). I think that covers it...

WildBerry
Community Member
4 months ago

You forgot from a wet fart.

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Elizabeth Guiles
Community Member
4 months ago

ummm. no

Dianna Ulmo
Community Member
4 months ago

I really want to know the context, this sounds like bad Omegaverse smut lol (and no self respecting Omegaverse author would say Butt Hole.) But usually it's guys whos assholes get wet in that lol

DetongLhamo
Community Member
4 months ago

...said no woman ever. If you’re ‘wet’ down there you have diarrhoea.

Belle Bell
Community Member
4 months ago

Sounds like the make from the Chinese couple that couldn’t figure out why they weren’t getting pregnant when they were having sex every day...

Granny
Community Member
4 months ago

Maybe it was Taco Tuesday

Suzanne Mitchell-Klent
Community Member
4 months ago

Mine might pucker, but it must never, ever, ever be wet! Eww! Shart, party of two?

Erin S
Community Member
4 months ago

Unfortunately, the woman in this story is experiencing diarrhea.

Glory The Rainwing
Community Member
2 days ago

What. The. Fuq.

just your average introvert
Community Member
1 week ago

what-

ALEXIS CISNEROS
Community Member
1 week ago

Oh god this sounds like an ABO fanfiction

Fara Giganti
Community Member
2 weeks ago

was this made by a second grader who just logged off of twitter like wut

Susan Trevaskis-Owen
Community Member
3 weeks ago

Sounds like he got his sex education from A/B/O fanfiction..

BananaAnna
Community Member
3 weeks ago

Most folks would label this "seepage" and suggest a good incontinence garment.

Samantha Pettus
Community Member
1 month ago

omg this one made me laugh thiss writer is most definitely a virgin

Leila Noury
Community Member
1 month ago

god this is disgusting

Rhylie W.
Community Member
1 month ago

Thats no-you know what? Never mind.

Ray Reinhard
Community Member
1 month ago

I understand this happens if you eat too many sugar-free gummy bears.

Bella Archer
Community Member
1 month ago

Anuses are not self-lubricating.

Yvon Barker
Community Member
2 months ago

Roflmfao! Calm down people ;) This looks like it is a homo-erotic book in the Mpreg genre. LOL

Leslie K Von Dell
Community Member
2 months ago

Make that a double hurl...

David Dwyer
Community Member
2 months ago

Is that an erotic story, or is that just a really messed up book?

student Valencia Collier
Community Member
2 months ago

god why

Gyro Zeppeli
Community Member
3 months ago

if it worked like that us gay guys would be solucky

DC
Community Member
3 months ago

B******e getting wet ... well, this is called incontinence, isn't it?

Lillian Castellow
Community Member
3 months ago

wtf

invisible sheep
Community Member
3 months ago

if your butt hole gets wet, my dear, it means high chance you ate something wrong

Robin Childers
Community Member
3 months ago

Someone's writing about something they ain't getting any of.

Banjo Peppers
Community Member
3 months ago

Personally I’d guess this is an Omegaverse story based on the wet b******e.

Izzy Curer
Community Member
3 months ago (edited)

You know, I might understand if a man didn't quite know how vaginas worked but don't... men also have butt h*les...? I'm not so much concerned that this guy is a virgin, I'm more concerned that he doesn't seem to have an a**s. Where is all of his poop going? I'm not going to say it, but I think you know where I'm going with this.

Disgusting Sehun
Community Member
3 months ago

did a 12 year old write this..

CatWoman312
Community Member
3 months ago

Gross

serenagun
Community Member
3 months ago

lol

Rachel Waller
Community Member
3 months ago

Was this written by a man about a woman, or by a twelve-year-old girl about the bottom guy in a gay pairing? It could be either!

Becki Dixon
Community Member
4 months ago

Tbh I’m more worried he doesn’t understand homosexuality 🤦🏼‍♀️

Becki Dixon
Community Member
4 months ago

Who knows he’s even talking as a woman?Wouldn’t be surprised if they also didn’t understand homosexuality either 🤷🏼‍♀️

OrangeChicken
Community Member
4 months ago

I cannot for the life of me see why people find sex apealing, much less reading OTHER people have sex with each other...

Nicole Tomme
Community Member
4 months ago

Was this written by Peter Griffin? "Babies come out the butt?"

Ray Reinhard
Community Member
1 month ago

I had a college roommate (male) my freshman year who thought that was how it worked.

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Calum Sanderson
Community Member
4 months ago (edited)

it's only wet if you use lube bruh edit: no wait she's talking like that because she has diarrhoea

Summer Thyme
Community Member
4 months ago

...

Dogo the Dog
Community Member
4 months ago

🤮

J
Community Member
4 months ago

I had to stop take a deep breathe to get my head around this.

Number 5
Community Member
4 months ago

'hot damnit'

Blue
Community Member
4 months ago

That is called a**l leakage sweetheart

Idk Katniss Potter
Community Member
4 months ago

Ew. Ew. Ew. No

Ella Blackwood
Community Member
4 months ago

Is that a thing? Who knew? LOL!

AnInrovert
Community Member
4 months ago

Ummm, that’s not how it works

MH3
Community Member
4 months ago

Sounds like male a**l leakage and at some time they all develop this problem.

Elijah Snow
Community Member
4 months ago

You can get your butt hole wet, when aroused. It's called sweat.

Avery Day
Community Member
4 months ago

ah, the self-lubricating a**s? maybe this belongs to "authors who dont know how to write a**l sex" list instead?

Sandy Kavanaugh
Community Member
4 months ago

A**l leakage- hot!

Shelli Aderman
Community Member
4 months ago

🤣

Susan Scripture
Community Member
4 months ago

Diarrhoea, perchance?!

Joyce Brazel
Community Member
4 months ago

Maybe he was gay?

Chris Allan
Community Member
4 months ago

See, now I thought a wet r****m was something else entirely.

Debby Bright
Community Member
4 months ago

Actually, his butt hole is the source of this fodder!

Catherine Bartholome
Community Member
4 months ago

Oops! The level of writing is low enough, but he is very confused as well.

Todd Hollfelder
Community Member
4 months ago

So, the man depicted here is a fetishist... so what!!

ClaudiaDarla03
Community Member
4 months ago

this guy's mom probably told him that babies come from butt holes.... imagine the confusion he's gonna have when he does it for the first time lmao

ClaudiaDarla03
Community Member
4 months ago

BRUHHH

Bron
Community Member
4 months ago

Oh this made me laugh! Anatomy, writer, research it!

Amy Hawkins
Community Member
4 months ago

Umm, ick.

Pandana
Community Member
4 months ago (edited)

So.... Diarrhea

JD Lee
Community Member
4 months ago

Does the author realize he’s not really into women? More than that, does he realize that’s not how ThAt works either?

Magna Linnevers
Community Member
4 months ago

This made me laugh out loud! Ah, the miles of derision... good belly laugh.

Micchi Dawn
Community Member
4 months ago

😱🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Farzana Essop
Community Member
4 months ago

Maybe it's just a runny tummy?!?!

Cybele Spanjaard
Community Member
4 months ago

Um back to biology lessons and sex education or.. is possibly this a male version for men not women at all?

Syed Salah
Community Member
4 months ago

Writer is a compulsive gay .

Mimi777
Community Member
4 months ago

I don’t think a b******e is supposed to get “wet” on its own it sounds like a personal problem../

Paizleypie
Community Member
4 months ago

Sound's like someone needs to run to the bathroom.

🌺🍍🌼🌻🌼🍍🌺
Community Member
4 months ago

I have a question for men: why? just... why?

Theodore Theodora
Community Member
4 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

Colleen Hindson
Community Member
4 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

What a fantasy! Most women abhore the idea of a**l sex.

COcO BAMa
Community Member
4 months ago

What ?

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Monkeywrench Productions
Community Member
4 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

the man puts the penis in the b******e, pees and 9 months later, profit

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#10

Unsurprisingly, The Book's Terrible Writing From A "Proclaimed" Writer Does Not End Here (The Wedding Plot, Jeffrey Eugenides)

Unsurprisingly, The Book's Terrible Writing From A "Proclaimed" Writer Does Not End Here (The Wedding Plot, Jeffrey Eugenides)

menwritewomen Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
4 months ago

Boobs are testicles. They don't "withdraw" because there is muscle and a rib cage underneath and they are just mounds of fat and milk producing tissue. I feel like so many people here did not pay attention in health class. How can they be so clueless about the female body?

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#11

Male Authors Writing Women Are Actually Just Horror Stories And Here's Why

Male Authors Writing Women Are Actually Just Horror Stories And Here's Why

isapphic Report

Vincent Philippart
Community Member
4 months ago

She was "probably" molested?? How does that work?

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#12

Ah Yes, Exactly How I'd Describe Myself (The Diamond Age, Neal Stephenson)

Ah Yes, Exactly How I'd Describe Myself (The Diamond Age, Neal Stephenson)

menwritewomen Report

Theodore Theodora
Community Member
4 months ago

Woman: "I'm SO HOT omg." Dude: "Just like my dead wife." What?!

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#13

I'm Sorry, Her Breasts Do What

I'm Sorry, Her Breasts Do What

alexis_writes1 Report

Stephanie Did It
Community Member
4 months ago

I've had more bras ripped to pieces that way

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#14

She's Eleven And Scared But Let's Talk About Her Nipples

She's Eleven And Scared But Let's Talk About Her Nipples

Professor_Owl Report

Rowlie
Community Member
4 months ago

Stranger danger

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#15

This Whole Book Has Both My Eyes And My Boobs Rolling.

This Whole Book Has Both My Eyes And My Boobs Rolling.

icomebearingpoop Report

Squee
Community Member
4 months ago

H-how would you even...?

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#16

Be Horrified With The Rest Of Us

Be Horrified With The Rest Of Us

meganaderr Report

Lord Mysticlaw
Community Member
4 months ago

Men like Conde should not be surprised that sexy women love other women, and he really should try to help that male chauvinism.

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#17

Breasts Totally Get Scared

Breasts Totally Get Scared

Report

Stephanie Did It
Community Member
4 months ago

My breasts are embarrassed by this.

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#18

The Count Of Monte Cristo- 1884

The Count Of Monte Cristo- 1884

HotMopo Report

RaroaRaroa
Community Member
4 months ago

Poor old lady. :-D

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#19

Plz Put This On My Tombstone #submission (The Dogs, Scott Smith)

Plz Put This On My Tombstone #submission (The Dogs, Scott Smith)

menwritewomen Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
4 months ago

Barbie doesn't have a vagina. Would anyone describe a man as " Bob- sweet, green eyed bob, with his short red hair, his musky skin and his Ken doll penis"?

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See Also on Bored Panda
#20

*me To My Friend* Excuse Me, May I Please Borrow Your Eyeballs?

*me To My Friend* Excuse Me, May I Please Borrow Your Eyeballs?

menwritewomen Report

Bacony Cakes
Community Member
4 months ago

*brandishes ice cream scoop* Your eyeballs, please.

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#21

She Was Flesh And Blood, Not The 2D Woman He Was Used To Objectifying On Television, And For That She Was All The More Special (A Time On Earth, Vihelm Moberg)

She Was Flesh And Blood, Not The 2D Woman He Was Used To Objectifying On Television, And For That She Was All The More Special (A Time On Earth, Vihelm Moberg)

menwritewomen Report

Stephanie Did It
Community Member
4 months ago

But no head, brain or mouth. How convenient!

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#22

Literally No Woman Would Ever Do This (Misterioso, Arne Dahl)

Literally No Woman Would Ever Do This (Misterioso, Arne Dahl)

menwritewomen Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
4 months ago

Well she might if she wants him to go away. And since it appears he is creeping on her in her sleep that might be her goal. The bigger problem appears to be that he feels like he as a right to sex

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#23

Only Sluts Have Hairy Legs (The Things They Carried, Tim O'brien)

Only Sluts Have Hairy Legs (The Things They Carried, Tim O'brien)

menwritewomen Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
4 months ago

dry sounds like she just needs to use more lotion. dry skin is horribly itchy

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#24

Thank God For The Bikini Wax.

Thank God For The Bikini Wax.

sausageroll101 Report

Charlotte A.
Community Member
4 months ago

Since when do bruises make your body sexier?

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#25

Wish I Had Pillowy Breasts! Taken From Ben Fountain’s Brief Encounters With Che Guevara

Wish I Had Pillowy Breasts! Taken From Ben Fountain’s Brief Encounters With Che Guevara

inquisitorial_25 Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
4 months ago

I'm more concerned by the fact he seems to routinely check out boys' butts and uses that as the benchmark of sexy.

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#26

The Rest Reads “Dad Is Looking Like He Made A Better Decision Every Year”. What?!?

The Rest Reads “Dad Is Looking Like He Made A Better Decision Every Year”. What?!?

sadhairahcaz Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
4 months ago

wow that is very Oedipal.

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#27

This Is A Totally Anatomically Normal Thing For Breasts To Do #submission (We Can Remember It For You Wholesale, Philip Dick)

This Is A Totally Anatomically Normal Thing For Breasts To Do #submission (We Can Remember It For You Wholesale, Philip Dick)

menwritewomen Report

Rowlie
Community Member
4 months ago

That nail....

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#28

#menwritingwomen No Wonder Some Of Them Think Our Breasts Stop Us From Doing Stuff If They Think We’re As Obsessed As They Are. We Can’t Get Away From Them. Oh Must Do This Important Thing But Wait!

#menwritingwomen No Wonder Some Of Them Think Our Breasts Stop Us From Doing Stuff If They Think We’re As Obsessed As They Are. We Can’t Get Away From Them. Oh Must Do This Important Thing But Wait!

KathrynEvansInk Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
4 months ago

Well this seems to reinforce every ugly stereotype of men being sex crazed horndogs

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#29

'the Shining', By Stephen King. Its Always Breasts

'the Shining', By Stephen King. Its Always Breasts

GodfreyCrane Report

Bacony Cakes
Community Member
4 months ago

Your human disguise doesn't work when you're a goat.

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Note: this post originally had 78 images. It’s been shortened to the top 29 images based on user votes.

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