Pastor Issues An Apology For Making Girls Wear One-Piece Swimsuits, And His Honest Letter Goes Viral
Bryce Brewer has been a pastor for 20 years. During this time, he has given what he now calls a “ridiculous ultimatum” to more young girls than he can count, insisting they only wear one-piece swimsuits to church-sponsored events.
But on a recent shopping trip with his fiancé and her 10-year-old daughter to find a one-piece suit for a church summer camp in Spokane Valley, Brewer came to an important realization.
“I wandered with them through several department stores and through Target trying to find a cute-but-appropriate one-piece bathing suit and they’re very very difficult to find,” Brewer told TODAY Parents. “I watched a frustration build with both of them, almost a dejection.”
“I wondered, how many young ladies did I subject to this event over 20 years of ministry?” Brewer continued. “Times when, because of me, they were desperately searching for a one-piece bathing suit and couldn’t find one?”
So he turned to social media to explain why he now finds his earlier comments on “appropriate swimwear” cringe-worthy.
Image credits: pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: pastorbrycebrewer
“Women are all shaped differently and for a male to come in and say what a female should wear? That’s the most ridiculous thing in my head now,” Brewer said. “Those conversations and meetings? It breaks my heart that I said some of the things I did. I was totally missing the point.”
As his open letter is making headlines, the pastor hopes he will inspire others to avoid making the mistake he did.
“The number one thing I hope comes from this is that we as leaders, especially in the church, would walk in humility and stop pretending we are the ones that have the answers,” he explained. “I truly am sorry, and my intention was to say that and to say that while my heart may have been in the right place, I missed the boat in this area.”
Understanding and admitting your faults (as well as apologizing for them) are not signs of weakness. They show inner strength and growth. And people are glad this pastor was brave enough to choose this path.
Here’s how people responded to Brewer’s post
A friend lived in USA for a couple of years, and her daughter was in daycare. During summer they had a small paddling pool/wading pool the children could play in. My friend asked why her daughter hadn't played in the pool with the other children, but was told that since she didn't have a top..... The girl was THREE years old. There are no boobs to be hidden at that age.
When I was little, in the US, in fact, we ran around naked/topless as girls. Who cared? So I think the evangelical right-wing religious types are somehow pushing this idea of "women are tempters from he**" into mainstream culture to such a point that it's ridiculous. Frankly, I vote we let adult women go topless. It's flipping hot outside! We'd like to not be suffocated in bras and tops while men can go shirtless! It's almost 40*C here!
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The "sin of lust", the act by men of forcing women/girls to cover themselves creates the issue, by hiding away "God given" bodies it creates mystery, boys believe there is something overtly sexual about cleavage/boobs, backs and bellies! Normalize the the human form from an early age, normalize breast feeding! Also, the "Seven Sins" are mentioned nowhere in the bible, just another man made form of control!
Lust is not a sin, it’s an entirely normal and natural thing to feel. Acting on said list in inappropriate and creepy ways is the problem, not the lust itself
Load More Replies...
Love, love, love this. That's how it should be. Thank you for speaking up.
It would be even nicer if men would just listen the first time women tell them instead of having to experience it themselves. If it didn't happen to them or theirs, it didn't happen. We had to wear one pieces or a t-shirt over a 2-piece at church camp. I was a 36C in 8th grade & if I bought a 1-piece to fit my boobs, the bottom was swimming on me. It didn't stop anyone who wanted to fool around.
Not to mention, if a girl did want a more modest swimsuit, two piece tankinis can be more modest than a one piece. The tops can be looser and the bottoms can be shorts or a skirt. So not only were some girls forced to cover more than they wanted to, other girls could have been forced to cover less than they wanted.
Exactly! My favorite bathing suit when I was thin had boy short bottoms. Much better for playing volleyball on the beach. Now that I'm plus size I can get a top that covers my stomach, my boobs don't pop out of and bottoms that are more comfortable. A one piece would be a permanent wedgie! No one wants to see me picking my butt at the pool.
Load More Replies...
The worst thing about a one piece swim suit is how difficult is to go to the toilet. Try pulling it down (and then back up, of course, too) once it’s wet.
I just pull it to the side, maybe a bit awkward to sorta crouch but I don't have to fight with the darn thing.
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Oh man, this is exactly what I have always wanted, an apology. I was in Scotland with my Dad and this drunk old guys assaulted me in front of my dad. They cat called and one groped me. It was the middle of the day and we were just walking down the sidewalk. My dad punched the guy and threw me in the car. He immediately started to rant and rave about the skirts I wear and my tops, but that day had been freezing and I was in 4 layers of sweaters and while crying I asked him how many more coats and sweaters did I need to put on for it not to be my fault. My dad hadn't even realized the only skin showing on me was my face. I told him I had been groped and harassed since the age of 12 and the amount of clothing I was wearing varied each time, then apologized he had to experience seeing his daughter being assaulted, I know it shook him, but I wasn't going to allow him to continue to verbally assault me as well. I have been waiting decades for a man to apologize blaming me for men's actions.
I have my 5yo girls in a 2pc that covers significantly more then any 1pc I could find. (I do it less for modesty and more for sun protection). Plus 1pc are a pain for bathroom breaks. Also, my older son wears a top with his shorts, again, for sun protection.
I love his apology, his taking responsibility, and his newfound empathy. I hate that he only came to this realization after a firsthand experience. It illustrates the stereotype, “conservatives only care about things that directly affect them.” I wish this guy could come to this position by listening to people whose experiences are different than his.
It's actually not hard to find a cute one piece at all. I have never in my life worn a bikini and I never will. That said, girls shouldn't be forced to wear one pieces just because men and boys are afraid of their bodies. We somehow manage around their bodies and lesbians manage around women's bodies as well.
It also depends on how you define cute too. Maybe teen girls don’t agree with you about what’s cute.
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Honestly it’s exhausting trying to like how you look in clothes and trying to not be.. “inappropriate” somehow especially if you don’t want to hide in baggy clothes. Because anything form-fitting, including most one-pieces, is going to look inappropriate. Especially if you’re a woman with large breasts or a shapely behind, people deem YOU inappropriate for just existing like that in fitted clothes. Or surely if the woman is overweight as well, the clothes get policed so much. It’s like clothes must be loose or you’re doing something wrong for having body parts.
I agree with a lot of what he is saying. But, then he goes on to now sexually stigmatize boys & male lust. Yes, boys & men can certainly be dirty, & are dirty a good portion of the time, but not all are. Lust can be bad, but lust is also the part of our evolutionary biology that we often times can't control (rape & sexual assault are NEVER ok in our human societies, though). Can anyone, including this pastor, control every lustful thought they have? No. Without lust, the human species wouldn't have propagated. Without lust, you wouldn't be here. & if you claim lust is a sin, that's a fictional crime against a fictional god. If you believe this bible cr-ap & creationism nonsense, then why did god create us with all of these hormones, chemical processes, & thoughts? Creating something just to anger himself? Lust is ok between consenting adults. Stigmatizing male biology is not the way to go either. He learned one lesson, but he has so much more to learn. Bible morality is gross.
Thoughts are one thing and thoughts really can't (nor should they) be policed. I think it's the comments, open ogling, catcalls, touching, and assault that he is referring to. But his focus in this was apologizing to a group that has long been sexualized and victimized for merely existing so his wording toward men was not so clear.
Load More Replies... Also a lesson for swimwear designers. Not everyone is comfortable in a 2 piece, some girls want a 2 piece that doesn’t show tons of cleavage, some girls are more developed and your v-neck shows too much - but if they go up in size to accommodate a larger chest then the suit is too big. So please be size inclusive, know that large chest doesn’t always mean larger everywhere, and provide a range of modesty options.
Many swimsuits are available as separates and with tops in different bra cup sizes. You just aren't going to find them at cheap discount stores like Target.
Load More Replies...
Personally I think we should force the one-piece bathing suits on men as well. I'd go from a 7 to a 10 instantly! bathing-su...830320.jpg 
The same people who shame females rather than teach their male offspring to behave are the ones who condemn sharia laws that say basically the same thing.
I'm a Christian and the posters statements are so refreshing to hear! There's such backwards logic in the church. And on top of boys not being gross, we have to also encourage everyone to not view a female body as a representation of sexuality. A female body represents so much more than just sex! It's dumb that we have to say that.
"A female body represents so much more than just sex!" i find it a very peculiar sentence. what is it exactly that a female body represents to you? As for me never thought as body's to be a representation of anything specific or maybe the individual. So i'm intrigued with what you mean and can you give me an example?
Load More Replies...
Many question here. So while girls and young women have a pressure to cover up so men don't have unwanted experiences of desire and lust when seeing bare skin. Why my elder aunt happy in her new bikini set is asked to cover up? It's confusing! A super fit runner friend (in her late thirties) is legit to go to the beach in two piece, but the plus size friend or one who's a fitness enthusiastic, but recently gave a birth are not.
The first high school I was asked to leave (3 total) was a Christian school. They did the same thing: girls had to wear dresses of a specific length but had to wear long pants for PE and team sports, and one piece bathing suits. Modesty ala Taliban. Ridiculous....
Too lil, too late. Why does he says boys should control themselves, they live a in society too, they are not wild animals. I am so happy that I live in a country, where I can wear what I want, at school, on the street, at parties, when I go camping. And no men or boys with authority had the audacity to promote a dress code for women, in the last 30 years. When some pastors or wannabe religious men say something about the dress code of a women, they are not good for society, any society.
Part of telling girls to cover up is because boys won’t be able to control themselves.
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Ridiculous!!! I see nothing wrong with his opinion & he shouldn't have to apologize for it. I guess he should tell them to just go naked! Boo!!
It's also not fair to push all the responsibility on boys. It's on both sides not only on one side. In the end there's a biological reality which is very hard to control for boys. Hence, Boys should learn how to behave and girls should learn how to wear.
Pastor Bryce just insinuated that all boys, that's 50% of the group of children, are sexually aroused by looking at girls. His thoughts, not theirs. Stop berating, blaming, accusing our young growing boys into believing they are inherently toxic. Pastor Bryce, you do not represent manhood nor the thoughts of the collective of manhood.
Somewhere, someone's gonna say that the "bible says in Corinthians II that women should dress modestly", to which I usually throw down my #1 either the apostle Paul was a misogynist OR the people who translated his works from language to language and version to version twisted his words, and that #2 like many items in the Bible, Paul's work initially said in Greek "COSMOS" meaning universal or modest. So when this new religion was coming about and women teachers were a new thing, people would ask what they should wear in church, and it's possible Paul was saying that they should dress universal i.e. dress like their people, i.e. not show up to church in Gucci and Prada. But when that work was translated from language to language, that "COSMOS" was interpreted as modest, I E it's a woman's job cover-up
Can we please stop praising men for doing what they should have done in the first place?
Generally I agree but humans are humans. If we don't give some acknowledgement when a good thing is done, the attitude then becomes "Well f*** it, I just won't bother changing then". It sucks and it's not fair but it's also how most people's brains work
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Even as someone who doesn't believe god, that's really disrespectful to people who do believe in god. Please take down your comment, it's harmful.
Load More Replies... 
A friend lived in USA for a couple of years, and her daughter was in daycare. During summer they had a small paddling pool/wading pool the children could play in. My friend asked why her daughter hadn't played in the pool with the other children, but was told that since she didn't have a top..... The girl was THREE years old. There are no boobs to be hidden at that age.
When I was little, in the US, in fact, we ran around naked/topless as girls. Who cared? So I think the evangelical right-wing religious types are somehow pushing this idea of "women are tempters from he**" into mainstream culture to such a point that it's ridiculous. Frankly, I vote we let adult women go topless. It's flipping hot outside! We'd like to not be suffocated in bras and tops while men can go shirtless! It's almost 40*C here!
Load More Replies... The "sin of lust", the act by men of forcing women/girls to cover themselves creates the issue, by hiding away "God given" bodies it creates mystery, boys believe there is something overtly sexual about cleavage/boobs, backs and bellies! Normalize the the human form from an early age, normalize breast feeding! Also, the "Seven Sins" are mentioned nowhere in the bible, just another man made form of control!
Lust is not a sin, it’s an entirely normal and natural thing to feel. Acting on said list in inappropriate and creepy ways is the problem, not the lust itself
Load More Replies... Love, love, love this. That's how it should be. Thank you for speaking up.
It would be even nicer if men would just listen the first time women tell them instead of having to experience it themselves. If it didn't happen to them or theirs, it didn't happen. We had to wear one pieces or a t-shirt over a 2-piece at church camp. I was a 36C in 8th grade & if I bought a 1-piece to fit my boobs, the bottom was swimming on me. It didn't stop anyone who wanted to fool around.
Not to mention, if a girl did want a more modest swimsuit, two piece tankinis can be more modest than a one piece. The tops can be looser and the bottoms can be shorts or a skirt. So not only were some girls forced to cover more than they wanted to, other girls could have been forced to cover less than they wanted.
Exactly! My favorite bathing suit when I was thin had boy short bottoms. Much better for playing volleyball on the beach. Now that I'm plus size I can get a top that covers my stomach, my boobs don't pop out of and bottoms that are more comfortable. A one piece would be a permanent wedgie! No one wants to see me picking my butt at the pool.
Load More Replies... The worst thing about a one piece swim suit is how difficult is to go to the toilet. Try pulling it down (and then back up, of course, too) once it’s wet.
I just pull it to the side, maybe a bit awkward to sorta crouch but I don't have to fight with the darn thing.
Load More Replies... Oh man, this is exactly what I have always wanted, an apology. I was in Scotland with my Dad and this drunk old guys assaulted me in front of my dad. They cat called and one groped me. It was the middle of the day and we were just walking down the sidewalk. My dad punched the guy and threw me in the car. He immediately started to rant and rave about the skirts I wear and my tops, but that day had been freezing and I was in 4 layers of sweaters and while crying I asked him how many more coats and sweaters did I need to put on for it not to be my fault. My dad hadn't even realized the only skin showing on me was my face. I told him I had been groped and harassed since the age of 12 and the amount of clothing I was wearing varied each time, then apologized he had to experience seeing his daughter being assaulted, I know it shook him, but I wasn't going to allow him to continue to verbally assault me as well. I have been waiting decades for a man to apologize blaming me for men's actions.
I have my 5yo girls in a 2pc that covers significantly more then any 1pc I could find. (I do it less for modesty and more for sun protection). Plus 1pc are a pain for bathroom breaks. Also, my older son wears a top with his shorts, again, for sun protection.
I love his apology, his taking responsibility, and his newfound empathy. I hate that he only came to this realization after a firsthand experience. It illustrates the stereotype, “conservatives only care about things that directly affect them.” I wish this guy could come to this position by listening to people whose experiences are different than his.
It's actually not hard to find a cute one piece at all. I have never in my life worn a bikini and I never will. That said, girls shouldn't be forced to wear one pieces just because men and boys are afraid of their bodies. We somehow manage around their bodies and lesbians manage around women's bodies as well.
It also depends on how you define cute too. Maybe teen girls don’t agree with you about what’s cute.
Load More Replies... Honestly it’s exhausting trying to like how you look in clothes and trying to not be.. “inappropriate” somehow especially if you don’t want to hide in baggy clothes. Because anything form-fitting, including most one-pieces, is going to look inappropriate. Especially if you’re a woman with large breasts or a shapely behind, people deem YOU inappropriate for just existing like that in fitted clothes. Or surely if the woman is overweight as well, the clothes get policed so much. It’s like clothes must be loose or you’re doing something wrong for having body parts.
I agree with a lot of what he is saying. But, then he goes on to now sexually stigmatize boys & male lust. Yes, boys & men can certainly be dirty, & are dirty a good portion of the time, but not all are. Lust can be bad, but lust is also the part of our evolutionary biology that we often times can't control (rape & sexual assault are NEVER ok in our human societies, though). Can anyone, including this pastor, control every lustful thought they have? No. Without lust, the human species wouldn't have propagated. Without lust, you wouldn't be here. & if you claim lust is a sin, that's a fictional crime against a fictional god. If you believe this bible cr-ap & creationism nonsense, then why did god create us with all of these hormones, chemical processes, & thoughts? Creating something just to anger himself? Lust is ok between consenting adults. Stigmatizing male biology is not the way to go either. He learned one lesson, but he has so much more to learn. Bible morality is gross.
Thoughts are one thing and thoughts really can't (nor should they) be policed. I think it's the comments, open ogling, catcalls, touching, and assault that he is referring to. But his focus in this was apologizing to a group that has long been sexualized and victimized for merely existing so his wording toward men was not so clear.
Load More Replies... Also a lesson for swimwear designers. Not everyone is comfortable in a 2 piece, some girls want a 2 piece that doesn’t show tons of cleavage, some girls are more developed and your v-neck shows too much - but if they go up in size to accommodate a larger chest then the suit is too big. So please be size inclusive, know that large chest doesn’t always mean larger everywhere, and provide a range of modesty options.
Many swimsuits are available as separates and with tops in different bra cup sizes. You just aren't going to find them at cheap discount stores like Target.
Load More Replies... Personally I think we should force the one-piece bathing suits on men as well. I'd go from a 7 to a 10 instantly! bathing-su...830320.jpg
The same people who shame females rather than teach their male offspring to behave are the ones who condemn sharia laws that say basically the same thing.
I'm a Christian and the posters statements are so refreshing to hear! There's such backwards logic in the church. And on top of boys not being gross, we have to also encourage everyone to not view a female body as a representation of sexuality. A female body represents so much more than just sex! It's dumb that we have to say that.
"A female body represents so much more than just sex!" i find it a very peculiar sentence. what is it exactly that a female body represents to you? As for me never thought as body's to be a representation of anything specific or maybe the individual. So i'm intrigued with what you mean and can you give me an example?
Load More Replies... Many question here. So while girls and young women have a pressure to cover up so men don't have unwanted experiences of desire and lust when seeing bare skin. Why my elder aunt happy in her new bikini set is asked to cover up? It's confusing! A super fit runner friend (in her late thirties) is legit to go to the beach in two piece, but the plus size friend or one who's a fitness enthusiastic, but recently gave a birth are not.
The first high school I was asked to leave (3 total) was a Christian school. They did the same thing: girls had to wear dresses of a specific length but had to wear long pants for PE and team sports, and one piece bathing suits. Modesty ala Taliban. Ridiculous....
Too lil, too late. Why does he says boys should control themselves, they live a in society too, they are not wild animals. I am so happy that I live in a country, where I can wear what I want, at school, on the street, at parties, when I go camping. And no men or boys with authority had the audacity to promote a dress code for women, in the last 30 years. When some pastors or wannabe religious men say something about the dress code of a women, they are not good for society, any society.
Part of telling girls to cover up is because boys won’t be able to control themselves.
Load More Replies... Ridiculous!!! I see nothing wrong with his opinion & he shouldn't have to apologize for it. I guess he should tell them to just go naked! Boo!!
It's also not fair to push all the responsibility on boys. It's on both sides not only on one side. In the end there's a biological reality which is very hard to control for boys. Hence, Boys should learn how to behave and girls should learn how to wear.
Pastor Bryce just insinuated that all boys, that's 50% of the group of children, are sexually aroused by looking at girls. His thoughts, not theirs. Stop berating, blaming, accusing our young growing boys into believing they are inherently toxic. Pastor Bryce, you do not represent manhood nor the thoughts of the collective of manhood.
Somewhere, someone's gonna say that the "bible says in Corinthians II that women should dress modestly", to which I usually throw down my #1 either the apostle Paul was a misogynist OR the people who translated his works from language to language and version to version twisted his words, and that #2 like many items in the Bible, Paul's work initially said in Greek "COSMOS" meaning universal or modest. So when this new religion was coming about and women teachers were a new thing, people would ask what they should wear in church, and it's possible Paul was saying that they should dress universal i.e. dress like their people, i.e. not show up to church in Gucci and Prada. But when that work was translated from language to language, that "COSMOS" was interpreted as modest, I E it's a woman's job cover-up
Can we please stop praising men for doing what they should have done in the first place?
Generally I agree but humans are humans. If we don't give some acknowledgement when a good thing is done, the attitude then becomes "Well f*** it, I just won't bother changing then". It sucks and it's not fair but it's also how most people's brains work
Load More Replies... Even as someone who doesn't believe god, that's really disrespectful to people who do believe in god. Please take down your comment, it's harmful.
Load More Replies... 
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