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Dad Blows Up After Finding Out Wife Has Been Lying About Their Daughter Since She Was In 7th Grade
Your kids are going to grow up at some point, whether you like it or not. We’ve heard of some dads struggling with the thought of their baby girls becoming young women. There are those who internalize it and others who go completely nuts in an attempt to keep their daughters under lock and key.
One man went off the rails in a fit of rage when he found out his eldest daughter had started dating – much to the horror of his wife. In a bid to protect their younger daughter, the mom has been keeping a massive secret. She’s even admitted to helping the 16-year-old sneak boys in and out of the house. But things fell apart when the dad saw his young daughter kissing a guy at the mall.
RELATED:
Her husband went into a fit of rage when their eldest daughter started dating
Image credits: Elle Hughes/Pexels (not the actual photo)
She vowed it wouldn’t happen with the younger daughter, so she’s been helping her sneak boys into the house
Image credits: cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Timur Weber/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: BlackberryNo2485
How overly-strict parenting can negatively impact your children
Image credits: Monstera Production/Pexels (not the actual photo)
There’s no handbook on how to parent properly, and everyone has their own style. From those who prefer the more progressive, gentle or permissive route, to others who swear by a very strict approach. But experts warn that being too strict can have a negative impact on your child’s development.
The Parents App site describes strict parents s those who typically set themselves up as authority figures, and often expect their children to obey other authority figures as well, such as teachers or the police.
“Children are expected to follow rigid rules, often without an explanation as to why those rules are needed,” the site explains. “High expectations are also common. A strict parent, for example, may be quick to ground a kid if even one grade drops below an A.”
The app’s experts warn that an excessively strict parenting style can interfere with your child’s self-determination and development of autonomy.
It might, ironically, lead to lower grades. “Paradoxically, having high expectations for your child’s grades can actually lower their performance,” they say. “Some children will also react to being punished for not getting straight As when they worked hard by working less hard because they feel they can’t make a difference.”
Your child may also suffer from low self-esteem as a result of your overly strict parenting. This could be because they don’t socialize as much as those with more laid-back parents.
“Kids with strict parents are often denied certain activities with other children, and this impacts their ability to make friends,” explains the Parents App site. “A child who is never allowed to go to another child’s home, but always has to have kids come to their place may be resented by other children (and even parents) and left out.”
Kids with insanely strict parents may also find it hard to make decisions. That’s because they’re used to mom or dad calling the shots for them. They don’t really learn how to make choices in a healthy way.
Your strict parenting could also backfire on you. Experts say children with authoritarian parents tend to rebel at some point.
“As kids get older, they react to parents who are strict by working around them, not with them. They are more likely to sneak out and get into trouble than kids raised by softer parents. They learn to conceal the things they are doing,” explains the site, adding that the rebellious phase doesn’t always end anytime soon.
“In adulthood they may also rebel against other authority figures, making it harder to hold down a job or even getting them into trouble with the law,” warn the experts.
“17th century country preacher”: many people had harsh words for the father
But not everyone agreed. Some felt both parents were in the wrong
Then there were those who called out the mom – and not just for lying
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What do you think ?
Ellinor she/they/elle 4 weeks ago (edited)
Well regarding how OP is parenting she's NTA (except when she told her daughter's secrets to her husband, that was not ok) and she's doing everything well, but allowing her husband to act in a sexist way toward their children without telling him anything for years and putting the children through it and staying with him is AH behavior.
Tyke 4 weeks ago
I'd add in there that she should have told him years ago there are two parents he does not get to "rule authority". I don't *think* removing doors is really a thing here in the UK, but that in itself would have been a firm no from me.
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The_Nicest_Misanthrope 4 weeks ago
Why is she even with this loser? I didn't hear even one redeeming quality
Tha Monkey 4 weeks ago
She's been married to him since she was 21 - all her adult life. She doesn't know any other way.
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J R 4 weeks ago
NTA. He's controlling and a*****e. It's hard seeing your kids grow up, but it happens. Taking away a kid's door as punishment is a***e and an invasion of privacy. However, I think it's even creepier how his daughter was technically an adult at this point. I kind of get the people who say YTA because I do think that OP should get a divorce. It's not right to let her kids be in this environment and to teach them they need to lie to keep their dad from flying off the rails. But she's probably not thinking clearly. What I think people don't understand is how complex it can get. There's often the main a****r (in this case the dad). However, living with them usually slowly conditions people into thinking this is either normal or less bad than it is. So it's not uncommon for the other parent to encourage the kids to do things to keep the primary a****r calm, which gaslights the kids into believing that this behavior is normal. Is that a***e? Sure, but the other parent is also a victim.
Ellinor she/they/elle 4 weeks ago (edited)
Well regarding how OP is parenting she's NTA (except when she told her daughter's secrets to her husband, that was not ok) and she's doing everything well, but allowing her husband to act in a sexist way toward their children without telling him anything for years and putting the children through it and staying with him is AH behavior.
Tyke 4 weeks ago
I'd add in there that she should have told him years ago there are two parents he does not get to "rule authority". I don't *think* removing doors is really a thing here in the UK, but that in itself would have been a firm no from me.
Load More Replies... The_Nicest_Misanthrope 4 weeks ago
Why is she even with this loser? I didn't hear even one redeeming quality
Tha Monkey 4 weeks ago
She's been married to him since she was 21 - all her adult life. She doesn't know any other way.
Load More Replies... J R 4 weeks ago
NTA. He's controlling and a*****e. It's hard seeing your kids grow up, but it happens. Taking away a kid's door as punishment is a***e and an invasion of privacy. However, I think it's even creepier how his daughter was technically an adult at this point. I kind of get the people who say YTA because I do think that OP should get a divorce. It's not right to let her kids be in this environment and to teach them they need to lie to keep their dad from flying off the rails. But she's probably not thinking clearly. What I think people don't understand is how complex it can get. There's often the main a****r (in this case the dad). However, living with them usually slowly conditions people into thinking this is either normal or less bad than it is. So it's not uncommon for the other parent to encourage the kids to do things to keep the primary a****r calm, which gaslights the kids into believing that this behavior is normal. Is that a***e? Sure, but the other parent is also a victim.
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