Bridezilla Demands Her Cousin Lose Weight To Be Her Maid Of Honor, The Cousin Calls Her Out Online
Most people who are getting married hope that the wedding ceremony they are planning will be their first and last one. That is why they try to make sure that everything is perfect and can become really picky and even rude.
It is understandable that they want to be in control and guests even accept some weird rules they make, but this woman who was asked to be her cousin’s maid of honor thinks that telling her to lose weight is going too far. Her story went viral on Twitter and sparked quite a debate, as anything to do with wedding rules does.
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Woman who was quite close with her cousin won’t get to be her maid of honor anymore and she won’t be attending the wedding altogether
Image credits: Agence Tophos (not the actual photo)
Twitter user Ife Nkili has a small Twitter account followed by nearly 2.5k people but that didn’t stop one of her posts from going viral, which means it resonated with a lot of people. It now has over 200k likes and 4.5k people joined the conversation in the thread.
In that thread, Ife Nkili shared that her close cousin who she almost considers her sibling just confirmed that she is no longer wanted as the maid of honor unless she loses weight. So the woman decided not to attend the wedding altogether.
It is because Ife Nkili’s cousin gave her a deadline to lose weight if she wanted to have the maid of honor duties
Image credits: Zioraife
Image credits: Zioraife
Image credits: Zioraife
Her family wasn’t happy about it, but she feels she is just giving back what she received. The family thinks Ife Nkili should still come, but the woman feels that the bride thinks she doesn’t look good enough, so why ruin the wedding photos with her presence?
Thankfully, these are just some sarcastic thoughts and not how Ife Nkili actually feels. In the thread, she mentions she has strong self-will and doesn’t hate her body, although she does stress over food and if she’s gaining weight.
The woman was quite taken aback by such a request and decided to not show up to the wedding at all
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People in the comments agreed that the cousin crossed the line and shouldn’t have made such a request
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It seems that her bigger weight is due to genes and she has been bullied for it her whole life by the people who should have been the closest to her. Also, the woman points out that going to the gym is quite expensive and shuts down the comments telling her to try and lose weight by saying that if someone paid for it, she would go.
But the point is not whether she can afford it or not. It is about respecting a family member and a human being and not telling them what to do with their body.
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Some of them agreed that Ife Nkili shouldn’t attend the wedding as her cousin clearly doesn’t appreciate her
Image credits: Salvation Army USA West (not the actual photo)
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However, people in the comments had different views. Most of them agreed that it was really rude of the cousin to ask such a thing. If she wants to lose weight, she should do it for herself and not for a cousin or anybody else.
Others felt that it was her cousin’s wedding so it was her decision what she wanted. There were also people who had the impression that Ife Nkili felt entitled to be her cousin’s maid of honor and that she wouldn’t agree to be just a guest if she didn’t have an important role in the wedding.
Some Twitter users saw those comments and actually didn’t believe that at all, because if they were called fat, they would pass on the wedding too.
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Others were suggesting that she show up and have the time of her life eating and drinking as a regular guest
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Being the maid of honor is, as the title says it, an honor. It is a special person the bride trusts the most as she is the one who plans the bridal shower and the bachelorette party, she is the one that the bride turns to for advice on her wedding dress and she holds the bride’s bouquet on the big day.
Maybe these responsibilities don’t seem like a big deal, but they symbolize the close relationship between two women. Ife Nkili really felt that she is close to her cousin, but turns out, she couldn’t accept her the way she was and was deprived of the role because her cousin didn’t want to change.
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Although there were some opinions that it’s the cousins celebration so she should get what she wants
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Suzanne Degges-White, PhD, professor and chair of the Counseling and Higher Education department at Northern Illinois University that we, as humans, already very often think that we are never enough and strive for change, most often when comparing ourselves with others.
She writes in an article, “Some of us are born to be tall and slender; others are destined to be average and plump or any of a million other variations of the human body in all of its glory. And divergence and variety are okay. And enough. Do not allow others to generate self-doubt – you, alone, are the expert on you.”
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Also, some of them got the impression that Ife Nkili doesn’t want to attend the wedding unless she is the maid of honor
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It must be even more devastating when someone you love points out those insecurities and confirms your inner thoughts and that it is actually such a big deal that you will miss their wedding when you try so hard to convince that people telling you similar words to Suzanne Degges-White’s are right.
But according to A Conscious Rethink, it’s not worth changing yourself because you want to please someone else: “in the long run, changing – or trying to change – who you are will spell nothing but trouble if the change isn’t authentic and natural.”
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However, most of them agreed that her body size shouldn’t matter to her cousin
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Even though most reactions people had were supporting Ife Nkili, some thought she was making a big deal out of what could have been handled in a more simple way. We would love to hear your thoughts on Ife Nkili’s situation and what you would have done in her shoes, so leave it in the comments!
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Share on FacebookIt’s disgusting the amount of people who are telling her she is entitled. The COUSIN is entitled. Who in their right mind asks someone to morph their body in a short amount of time just so they can be part of the wedding? The cousin is obviously a narcissistic a**h0le.
Those people keep writing, “just be a brides made then.” “Just be a guest.” OP never said that was an option. “You’re too fat to be my maid of honor.” Nothing about coming anyway. Just about changing her body.
Load More Replies...A bit off topic, but what gym costs 20k a month? Is she referring to her salary? if so, why would she need the full amount to start working out -> "gym membership at 20k a month x 6 months is 120k. gimme that and I'll give you the body.."
Ok, looked up the account. She's in Africa, doesn't say what country, and is pretty rude about Americans thinking it's USD. When someone pointed out that American's are feeling bad for her , thinking it's USD, she doesn't feel the love, just goes on making fun of (us). I'm not feeling sorry, sad, pity for her anymore.
Load More Replies...Disgusting. F**k 'em. Sorry, I know you care about them, , but they not caring about you enough. Good luck, and hang on in there!
"Too fat" for MoH?!?! WTF would she have had you do, a marathon or mountain climb as part of your "duties"? Good grief!!! NTA 3000.
I have Ben in more weddings than I care to remember, but thankfully none were bridezillas. When my best friend got married and really wanted me to be her maid of honor, she totally understood that I could not afford to go to Hawaii. I was a young, single mother at the time. No shaming. No demands. Understanding. I just do not understand these type of people. At all. The poster is beautiful btw.
Ok, I feel I need to share something. Growing up, a girl my age used to make fun of me because of my weight. I was actually skinny until I had to have surgery and, due to a bleeding disorder I have that almost killed my sister, I was stuck eating lime jello for 2 weeks while stuck on bed rest. (She almost bled out from having her tonsils out and they worried I would do the same.) My metabolism took a hit. Now, if we all had control over what our bodies do I wouldn't have ended up weighing 153 pounds while she ended up over 300. She was very health conscious and still ended up twice my size. There are genetic issues that sometimes rear their ugly heads.
If they're as close as she says they are, her weight isn't a surprise to the cousin. She knew how big she is before asking her to be maid of honour so then why add a caveat if not to be anything other than a horrible b***h? Just because it's "her day" doesn't mean she gets a pass to be incredibly mean with no repercussions. The cousin sounds like a horrible person and it seems like this woman really dodged a bullet there. She wouldn't go to the wedding of a bully so don't go to this awful person's wedding, she should spend the day treating herself instead.
I don't understand those who commented that OPs acting entitled! She's not boycotting the wedding because she can't be MOH, she doesn't want to attend because the bride was downright rude to her and she doesn't want to be there supporting the bridezillas "perfect day." I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want to be the MOH after the bride acted so poorly.
Wedding BS is out of hand. So this girl is going to have a book of pretty pictures to look at forever, showing how happy and perfect everything was. Meanwhile she has seriously damaged an important relationship, and she may come to regret that. A wedding is supposed to bring people together in joy. Focus more on the marriage, and less on the wedding.
My cousin/best friend hasn't spoken to me since her wedding. I honest to God always believed that no matter what she would be in my life, like it was never even a question. But eventually I became "too much" because I left the reception too early which apparently caused a "scene". She didn't even give me an opportunity to properly apologize or explain. Anyway, it did make me realize that family doesn't necessarily mean anything. Find the people who love and support you as you are.
Your cousin is obviously a c**t and will end up divorced within a year. Why waste your time with a walking herpes of a person?
I'm afraid that, if she doesn't go to the wedding, and people ask where she is, why she's not there and such, the bride will make up some b******t like "she didn't want to accomodate my simple needs, she so entitled, etc". It feels such a egocentric person like that. So I'd go to the wedding, give her the ugliest gift ever, dance, eat, have fun. And if someone asks about the reason because you, her closest cousin, are not a bridesmaid, you can either tell the truth or a partial truth (=she didn't want me to 🤷).
I don't understand how people are validating the bride and telling this girl she's the "entitled" one. Honey, I'd plan a fabulous trip during her wedding and make sure I posted every single fabulous thing I did in attempt to overtaken everyone's feed who would be attending the wedding. But I'm that kind of petty.
Not about the 'actual topic', but doesn't it annoy you that too many pictures are 'not the actual photo'? We don't HAVE to have any old picture to get it! Grrrr.
Who the f**k pays $20k/month for a gym membership? Fat, lazy slob gets what she gets.
I'm so embarrassed for you, sweetie! Did you know that other countries don't use the American dollar? There is no dollar sign in her comment. I know it's hard for your simple brain to grasp.
Load More Replies...Body shaming is wrong not going to even attempt to argue in the brides favor. But what does bother me is the defense of ' i cant afford a gym membership otherwise id be fit.' No purchasing a subscription will not motivate you. Further you can easily do body weight exercises with zero cost or equipment to obtain fitness. Got a pair of shoes that are half decent? You are all set, stop making excuses.
I just don’t understand what difference it makes. Pictures? If the bride thinks the cousin is an eyesore than she would look that much better. Ceremonies are usually short. I don’t know what the customs are in another country though, there may be a bit more to it. However, if you can’t be accepted by family as you are then I understand her reaction.
No, I meant the poster is right to say no to being the bridesmaid and no to going to the wedding if her cousin is gonna treat her like that. The pictures part was being sarcastic.
Load More Replies...Yea, genetic researchers have it all wrong, they should have contacted Jacob Rosenberg because his opinion is official! /s SMH.
Load More Replies...It’s disgusting the amount of people who are telling her she is entitled. The COUSIN is entitled. Who in their right mind asks someone to morph their body in a short amount of time just so they can be part of the wedding? The cousin is obviously a narcissistic a**h0le.
Those people keep writing, “just be a brides made then.” “Just be a guest.” OP never said that was an option. “You’re too fat to be my maid of honor.” Nothing about coming anyway. Just about changing her body.
Load More Replies...A bit off topic, but what gym costs 20k a month? Is she referring to her salary? if so, why would she need the full amount to start working out -> "gym membership at 20k a month x 6 months is 120k. gimme that and I'll give you the body.."
Ok, looked up the account. She's in Africa, doesn't say what country, and is pretty rude about Americans thinking it's USD. When someone pointed out that American's are feeling bad for her , thinking it's USD, she doesn't feel the love, just goes on making fun of (us). I'm not feeling sorry, sad, pity for her anymore.
Load More Replies...Disgusting. F**k 'em. Sorry, I know you care about them, , but they not caring about you enough. Good luck, and hang on in there!
"Too fat" for MoH?!?! WTF would she have had you do, a marathon or mountain climb as part of your "duties"? Good grief!!! NTA 3000.
I have Ben in more weddings than I care to remember, but thankfully none were bridezillas. When my best friend got married and really wanted me to be her maid of honor, she totally understood that I could not afford to go to Hawaii. I was a young, single mother at the time. No shaming. No demands. Understanding. I just do not understand these type of people. At all. The poster is beautiful btw.
Ok, I feel I need to share something. Growing up, a girl my age used to make fun of me because of my weight. I was actually skinny until I had to have surgery and, due to a bleeding disorder I have that almost killed my sister, I was stuck eating lime jello for 2 weeks while stuck on bed rest. (She almost bled out from having her tonsils out and they worried I would do the same.) My metabolism took a hit. Now, if we all had control over what our bodies do I wouldn't have ended up weighing 153 pounds while she ended up over 300. She was very health conscious and still ended up twice my size. There are genetic issues that sometimes rear their ugly heads.
If they're as close as she says they are, her weight isn't a surprise to the cousin. She knew how big she is before asking her to be maid of honour so then why add a caveat if not to be anything other than a horrible b***h? Just because it's "her day" doesn't mean she gets a pass to be incredibly mean with no repercussions. The cousin sounds like a horrible person and it seems like this woman really dodged a bullet there. She wouldn't go to the wedding of a bully so don't go to this awful person's wedding, she should spend the day treating herself instead.
I don't understand those who commented that OPs acting entitled! She's not boycotting the wedding because she can't be MOH, she doesn't want to attend because the bride was downright rude to her and she doesn't want to be there supporting the bridezillas "perfect day." I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want to be the MOH after the bride acted so poorly.
Wedding BS is out of hand. So this girl is going to have a book of pretty pictures to look at forever, showing how happy and perfect everything was. Meanwhile she has seriously damaged an important relationship, and she may come to regret that. A wedding is supposed to bring people together in joy. Focus more on the marriage, and less on the wedding.
My cousin/best friend hasn't spoken to me since her wedding. I honest to God always believed that no matter what she would be in my life, like it was never even a question. But eventually I became "too much" because I left the reception too early which apparently caused a "scene". She didn't even give me an opportunity to properly apologize or explain. Anyway, it did make me realize that family doesn't necessarily mean anything. Find the people who love and support you as you are.
Your cousin is obviously a c**t and will end up divorced within a year. Why waste your time with a walking herpes of a person?
I'm afraid that, if she doesn't go to the wedding, and people ask where she is, why she's not there and such, the bride will make up some b******t like "she didn't want to accomodate my simple needs, she so entitled, etc". It feels such a egocentric person like that. So I'd go to the wedding, give her the ugliest gift ever, dance, eat, have fun. And if someone asks about the reason because you, her closest cousin, are not a bridesmaid, you can either tell the truth or a partial truth (=she didn't want me to 🤷).
I don't understand how people are validating the bride and telling this girl she's the "entitled" one. Honey, I'd plan a fabulous trip during her wedding and make sure I posted every single fabulous thing I did in attempt to overtaken everyone's feed who would be attending the wedding. But I'm that kind of petty.
Not about the 'actual topic', but doesn't it annoy you that too many pictures are 'not the actual photo'? We don't HAVE to have any old picture to get it! Grrrr.
Who the f**k pays $20k/month for a gym membership? Fat, lazy slob gets what she gets.
I'm so embarrassed for you, sweetie! Did you know that other countries don't use the American dollar? There is no dollar sign in her comment. I know it's hard for your simple brain to grasp.
Load More Replies...Body shaming is wrong not going to even attempt to argue in the brides favor. But what does bother me is the defense of ' i cant afford a gym membership otherwise id be fit.' No purchasing a subscription will not motivate you. Further you can easily do body weight exercises with zero cost or equipment to obtain fitness. Got a pair of shoes that are half decent? You are all set, stop making excuses.
I just don’t understand what difference it makes. Pictures? If the bride thinks the cousin is an eyesore than she would look that much better. Ceremonies are usually short. I don’t know what the customs are in another country though, there may be a bit more to it. However, if you can’t be accepted by family as you are then I understand her reaction.
No, I meant the poster is right to say no to being the bridesmaid and no to going to the wedding if her cousin is gonna treat her like that. The pictures part was being sarcastic.
Load More Replies...Yea, genetic researchers have it all wrong, they should have contacted Jacob Rosenberg because his opinion is official! /s SMH.
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