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Woman Slammed For Walking Out On Boyfriend And His Parents After She Refused To Finance Their Restaurant Meals
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Woman Slammed For Walking Out On Boyfriend And His Parents After She Refused To Finance Their Restaurant Meals

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Humans are inherently social creatures, and we long for all kinds of connections.

The bond that we so often struggle to create with ourselves is able to enrich our days with fulfilment while also providing meaning and purpose to our existence – however, going through life solo isn’t the choice for most, and although we are quite literally hardwired to connect – let’s face it, we’re also pretty terrible at it.

As they like to say, everything just seems to work in a healthy relationship. This doesn’t mean there won’t be any hiccups along the way – but, ideally, you’d advocate for respect and open communication, which would make dealing with stuff easier.

Yet, there’s also a not-so-fun side to being involved in a relationship. You might not recognize the toxicity that your partner brings and suffer from feeling drained, unappreciated or, in this case, used.

More info: Reddit

Sometimes the only healthy course of action is to let go and move on

Image credits: Sarah Stierch (not the actual photo)

AITA for leaving the restaurant before my boyfriend’s family arrived after I was told that I was going to pay for their meals?” – this netizen turned to one of Reddit’s well-known communities to find out whether she’s the bad guy for leaving her boyfriend in a restaurant after he stated that she’d be responsible for covering his and his family’s meals. The post has managed to garner nearly 23K upvotes, as well as 6.5K comments discussing this rather sketchy event.

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Woman storms out of restaurant after her boyfriend says that she’ll be covering his and his family’s meals

Image credits: AITAthrow5353

The woman began her story by unveiling that she’s been dating “Ricky” for five months now. The man’s divorced – however, he despises the term and usually goes with “divorcee.” Apparently the first variation makes it sound like he was dumped, when, in reality, it was him who called it quits.

“Ricky” is a divorced man that loves to go on long rants about his former girlfriends

Image credits: AITAthrow5353

In all seriousness, the guy’s a walking red flag. The OP mentioned that he always goes on long rants about his previous relationships and frequently says he hopes that the woman doesn’t have the same traits as some of his ex-girlfriends.

The author of the post recently found her second job, and the man’s been demanding that she pay ever since – yet, when she tries to protest, he gives her the “I’m going through a rough patch” excuse and says that he sees how much help she can actually offer.

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The OP was forced to financially sponsor “Ricky” every time they’d go out because he would say that he was going through a rough patch

Image credits: AITAthrow5353

Recently, the man invited his old folks to join them for dinner. The couple got to the restaurant first, and the guy blatantly asked whether the OP had brought enough money. When she questioned his odd query, he uttered that he told his parents that she’d be paying for everybody’s meals.

Naturally, the woman demanded an explanation, in response to which he pulled a yet another “rough patch” card. The author argued that this couldn’t be possible and that she wouldn’t be paying for anything.

Recently, the man invited his family to join them at dinner, and when the couple arrived at the restaurant first, he stated that the woman would be paying for all their meals

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Image credits: AITAthrow5353

It didn’t seem to click for him, so he said that she didn’t have much of a choice since she was already sitting in the restaurant, laughing as if he mastered an incredibly amusing joke. The OP didn’t lose her cool; she quietly got up, took her belongings and walked out of the place.

Later on, the man reached out, all enraged saying that she did a horrible thing walking out on him and his parents. The woman replied saying that their financial issues weren’t her problem and that by no means was she obligated to cover their food.

Naturally, the woman was puzzled, and after his snarky comment, she got up and left the place

Image credits: AITAthrow5353

After all, the woman said that if their money situation was that bad, they shouldn’t have agreed to go out. The man got offended and said that the OP was making money a priority just like his former partner did. He also went on about how disrespectful the woman’s attitude was and how she made him look small.

Since the altercation happened, the couple has been going back and forth about it. The guy’s still furious about the event and refuses to speak to the OP unless she apologizes.

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Later, the OP argued that his and his family’s financial state is not her issue – however, the man refuses to speak to her until she apologizes

Image credits: Michael Coghlan (not the actual photo)

Human connections are a vital part of our existence – yet not all of them make our lives better, and it’s in your best interest to act at the very instant you sense that your relationship has reached an unhealthy state.

What do you think about this story?

Fellow community members shared their thoughts on this situation

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cherryn5150 avatar
Lizzy Crit
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He doesn't have a string of crazy ex's. HE is the crazy ex.

codyhill avatar
Cody Hill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yup they got tired of being used by him and walked away. Unfortunately I would honestly question if he really did have a sister and I honestly wonder if you weren't just another innocent person for him to use.

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gnomewolf avatar
Stacy Bender
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG! There's warning bells all over this guy. All we need now is the robot with the floppy arms rolling our and screaming, Warning! "He's mad and refusing to talk to me until I apologize." THIS IS A GOOD THING! It means you don't have to talk to him anymore. Just run and escape. The way is clear.

jessica-cicale avatar
ItsJess
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate posts like this because I want this woman to run far away and I always wonder how things turned out. Like dude she break up with him? I hope so.

jenrichardson avatar
Random Panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I went and looked at the post on the app and it's only five days old with no updates. :(

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god_2 avatar
Vix Spiderthrust
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be honest the whole "not speaking to her" thing sounds like a bit of a win for her. Don't threaten someone with a good time, as they say.

rhodabike6 avatar
Seabeast
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"His parents are nice people. They treat me better than my own family." Well, now we know why she's stayed with this glassbowl as long as she has - she's been brought up to believe she doesn't deserve any better.

rschwab avatar
Argie Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA This man is using her! There are red flags in everything she told us about him! I pray she kicks him to the curb!

kubikiri-houcho avatar
Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let his parents know what he does if they are really nice they deserve to know

karenrheamoore avatar
Karen Rhea
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I gotta quit reading these things. Now I need somebody to hit.

shaunlee avatar
SheamusFanFrom1987
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry but what kind of imbecile brings along others when he can't even pay for his own meal???!!! It's obvious this guy is a walking problem factory. Hope she hasn't even thought about apologizing and is seriously considering kicking his sorry behind to the curb if she hasn't done so already.

katebaker_2 avatar
madbakes
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's dating him for familial support at this point. I hope she finds support elsewhere before she goes broke and compromises herself anymore.

donnabridges avatar
Katysgigi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave that a$$! He will continue to make your life miserable as long as you stay.

vaelyn avatar
Enlee Jones
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy has more red flags than a Conmunist parade. Girl, run for the hills before he sinks his claws into you and emotionally and financially abuses you into oblivion.

maria_focsa avatar
Mariaf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

wow, I've met this kind of guy before. They are predators that plague the support groups in search of vulnerable people to latch onto.

bonnyatlast avatar
BonnyDK
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When someone is divorced either they were a victim or they were the one who caused it. It is one of the big rules in dating etiquette that you do not mention X's. You do not compare currant date to X's. You do not berate X's in from of currant date. There is therapy for that stuff to get over it. Don't expect your currant date to be your therapist.

anniebugg avatar
Annie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey, I think I was married to this guy! The first red flag is that the guy is adamant that HE dumped his ex; that's a sign of a fragile ego or a narcissist & it's trouble regardless. 2nd biggest red flag is making his GF pay for things often enough that she feels she has to get a 2nd job. Is he not working? What a loser!

loribreen37 avatar
Lori Harper
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Met while they were both in grief therapy. That's a red flag right out the gate! He chose her because she was at her most vulnerable. What exactly is HE bringing to the table that gives him ANY right to "test" her financially or any other way?? Manipulating and gaslighting are all I see. OP needs to run far and fast. FWIW...I seriously doubt HE initiated the divorce and any breakups from "crazy exes"

areyoureallysurethatafloorcantalsobeaceiling avatar
Sweetie Dahling
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m sorry but the “Was it an Italian Restaurant?” “No a local one” part made me laugh

manicabogdan avatar
Gogubaci
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if you see those red flags and you're still with him you're an idiot, period

jomarch49 avatar
Jo March
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She seemed to be defending him in a couple of her responses (but he was so nice in the grief group, but his family is so nice) . She won't leave.

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weimcentral avatar
Weim Central
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only common thread in all his failed relationships is HIM! Get out - get out now.

fuyu avatar
fu yu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The poor girl. Just because this guy has one or two positive traits and he has a nice family, she's being blindsided.

llsewer avatar
Jaguarundi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, she has two jobs to support the lifestyle to which he wants to be or has been accustomed to? Thank goodness she doesn't live with him and I hope she breaks ties with him immediately. She should say goodbye to his parents if she wants to, but I wouldn't recommend it.

rahni avatar
Rannveig Ess
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I smh as I read even the first paragraphs of most OP. Red flag #1, red flad #2..3, 4.... I mean come on. Ricky is a stunted, angry, manipulative jerk. The End. My sister married, then divorced, then married another jerk like this. His ex=wife was a gold digger// (if you had seen this guy, who had no job and was a pig...you'd laugh like I did...). His first serious GF didn't like sex. His current wife, who he was separated from, kept pressuring him to actually get divorced already but he had no money (it's next to nothing if it's a mutual, simple divorce. You can file it yourself.). All whining and things said to intimidate and send a mess age to Very Insecure Sis who wanted to be Perfect. Don't expect money, don't ask for anything, give a lot of s3x, don't pressure to get divorced, prove to me you're the one who's "worth it!" Gawd. Don't date narsissitc sociopaths. You're better than that

c_devine avatar
Seedy Vine
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Woman finally stands up for herself. Her man flies into a rage. Millions of these stories in this world. So sick of this sh!t. NTA, OP... RUN!

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm kinda guessing that he's lying about who initiated the divorces. And his "I hope you're not like my exes" is his way of conditioning you to be the way he wants, not who you want to be. Ditch him quick. He's a leech and always will be.

jparker001 avatar
Where’s The Shovel?
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

RUN! He's testing your boundaries and pushing to see how far he can go then gaslighting you that the problem is you. His next action will be to suggest moving in together as it will be cheaper for both of you. Please do not. He will use you up then discard you when you can't/won't fulfil his needs.

codyhill avatar
Cody Hill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately you were just another innocent person who was grieving and he used that to manipulate you. I'm honestly concerned he probably never had a sister and has been using grieving groups to find victims to manipulate.

ingo_3 avatar
lapis lazuli
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

stories like this have been on AITA before and the partners are always doing it with their whole family. toxic.

vanburensupernova44 avatar
Buren
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why this needs to be IATA question? Is it not obvious enough?

nettiesark avatar
Annette Blanks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is pure strategy! He is playing you. What kind of man does this? I would ask him when is it his turn to pay so you can invite your family. He actually laughed when he thought you were trapped there? No way a grown man would do all this!

petemccann avatar
DrBronxx
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As soon as I read the "divorced" vs "divorcee" thing, I thought "RUN", and almost didn't want to read on. He sounds like a stupid man playing at horrible manipulation. get out. get out. get out.

caseymcalister avatar
Casey McAlister
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, if you are going through a rough time, maybe eat at home? Restaraunt isn't a basic need, you totally can do without it.

marigenbeltran_2 avatar
Windtree
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope the OP doesn't stay in the relationship just because his family treats her better than her own because boyfriend is clearly the AH.

lnoft97 avatar
Sally Barry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's mad because you are his own ATM machine that rolled away down the street. Keep rolling. Doesn't matter how nice his parents are, you have to live with HIM, the jerk, not them.

blatherskitenoir avatar
blatherskitenoir
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's "testing" her. Testing to see how easy it is to get her to be like he wants, testing her on how much she would be willing to put up with for the privilege of being with him, and testing how much she can give him.

damonhill avatar
Seadog
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's just a lazy good for nothing user. RUN and don't look back. You're definitely too good for this piece of trash.

tristaw avatar
Trista Weidenborner
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP got a SECOND job and her BF decided she was the human ATM for him and his parents? Also constantly saying “oh my EX used to do this too” whenever she disagrees with him implies “I’m willing to dump someone over this or be such a pain about it they dump me”

bluemom2017 avatar
Pamela Blue
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When someone rants on and on about crazy ex's, it's pretty obvious who is the crazy one.

courtneyliston avatar
Stylishsidewaysbird
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of her responses was that his parents are nice and treat her better than her own family….girl don’t be with this a-hole because of his nice family….find some with a nice family who is also nice! They exist and you/we all deserve that.

mim8209 avatar
MimSorensson
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Remove yourself from this absolute manure explosion. If he starts THIS early and THIS blatantly, then there is no common future for you in which you’ll have access to your own credit card, your own phone, your own friends, ANY friends, keep your savings, keep your integrity, keep your dignity, keep yourself, and, lastly, quite possibly your life. There is no future scenario in which you are in an adult, caring, reasonable relationship with this man. It will never happen. Run. Run fast.

marianmoore1948 avatar
Marian Moore
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Quit ignoring the red flags. He is a user, and you are letting him get away with it.

davan7 avatar
Deb Van Iderstine
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just to be clear, divorcée is the feminine form of the French word for divorced. He doesn't want to be called a divorced man, fine, but what he calls himself is literally a divorced woman! Apart from that comic note, run, don't walk, as far away from him as you can get, NOW!

secondonlytome avatar
April Dancer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was a bit surprised with the whole 'he's not talking to me until I apologise' bit, why is this even still an option? This isn't a relationship, it's not even a friendship. I get that his family is nice, but there are lots of nice people out there and some of them don't have t**ts for sons. Nobody takes on a second job for fun and certainly not for taking the world and his wife out for dinner. The OP made him lie about why she wasn't there? Perhaps he should have told the truth then. If she doesn't want to part from the family on bad terms, maybe invite Mum out for a coffee and, casually say, sorry I couldn't stay and pay for everyone's meal on (whenever) but he surprised me with it when we got there, and I'm going through a rough patch at the moment.....

bigeddogg47 avatar
Conan Maschingon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

who cares it's a 5-month-old relationship just break up and move on

dodsonmichelle avatar
Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You've only been dating 5 months and already he's trying to manipulate you, take advantage of you & basically acting like a mooch. Girl, run. If his parents are as lovely as you say, you can still keep in contact with them, but you need to ditch this loser NOW.

arthurwmiller avatar
Arthur W Miller
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why does this site always repeat sentences two - three times in every friggin article your padding the word count VERY ANNOYING!!!

killua_84 avatar
Lunar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Break off with that crazy guy but befriend his parents.

itgrl77 avatar
Brightly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the person who posted this article needs to check their headline. The woman was sure not the one "slammed" in this story.

boredpanda_99 avatar
SirWriteALot
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People need to stop promising s**t they don't own or can't control!

debra_mcgeorge avatar
Debra McGeorge
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex (not the man's name in my I.d.) turned out to always be in a rough patch and wound up being a true golddigger. Better you leave this relationship behind.

bfellows1 avatar
Barb Fellows
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You got a second job so you probably needed that income but he expects you to pay for everything because he is going through a bad stretch. He should have done what you did and gotten a second job to make ends meet. Suggest that as you lock your door to keep him out.

long_fung avatar
Alexis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's never a good sign when your partner keeps talking about and comparing you with their ex.

nancyhoward_1999 avatar
Nancy Howard
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When do we get updates. Did she or didn't she dump him? Did you miss she's working two jobs? Invited his parents without consulting her? TELLING her she's going pay, ha ha you're here. Now you have to. Oh honey tats just one teeny step too far. Buh-Bye

robyn63ward avatar
Robyn Ward
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

5 months of "testing and comparing", run now just like his "ex" did...

darksteed avatar
Grith Darksteed
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Guess women that expect men to pay while dating are just going through "rough patches" as well. Though expecting someone else to pay for people you invited is a bit too far fetched. If you don't have the money, don't go out.

marilynrussell avatar
Marilyn Russell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please dear lady, walk away from this one - you absolutely can do better and deserve better. There is a reason he is divorced and luckily for you, you saw it, and set clear boundaries when faced with a nonsensical, manipulative situation. That shows that you have respect for yourself. Good for you! Just call him and say things just aren’t working out and you wish him the best.

kanrrykang avatar
KK
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Red flags everywhere. NTA, hopefully this individual finds someone better.

jose_carlo avatar
Jose Carlo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get rid of him like an extremely dirty, oil-soaked rag! He shall be using more and more and frankly, WHY on earth would he tell stories about his exes?

juniorcj82 avatar
JuniorCJ82
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Should have dumped him after he keeps comparing her to his exes. Methinks we have a Taylor Swift situation.

lisah255 avatar
LH25
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone needs to "make money a priority"! Or he'd starve.

savannahyoung avatar
S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you stay with him, you get what you get with no sympathy from me. Good luck.

miz_jen_lee avatar
Jennifer Lee
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I can't feel sorry for someone who is this much of a doormat. You might as well just give him your ATM card and code, you weak little twit. Wow.

mdr_1 avatar
Potato
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We accept the love we believe we deserve. She made a comment about how her family treats her. Try some compassion.

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cherryn5150 avatar
Lizzy Crit
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He doesn't have a string of crazy ex's. HE is the crazy ex.

codyhill avatar
Cody Hill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yup they got tired of being used by him and walked away. Unfortunately I would honestly question if he really did have a sister and I honestly wonder if you weren't just another innocent person for him to use.

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gnomewolf avatar
Stacy Bender
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG! There's warning bells all over this guy. All we need now is the robot with the floppy arms rolling our and screaming, Warning! "He's mad and refusing to talk to me until I apologize." THIS IS A GOOD THING! It means you don't have to talk to him anymore. Just run and escape. The way is clear.

jessica-cicale avatar
ItsJess
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate posts like this because I want this woman to run far away and I always wonder how things turned out. Like dude she break up with him? I hope so.

jenrichardson avatar
Random Panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I went and looked at the post on the app and it's only five days old with no updates. :(

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god_2 avatar
Vix Spiderthrust
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be honest the whole "not speaking to her" thing sounds like a bit of a win for her. Don't threaten someone with a good time, as they say.

rhodabike6 avatar
Seabeast
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"His parents are nice people. They treat me better than my own family." Well, now we know why she's stayed with this glassbowl as long as she has - she's been brought up to believe she doesn't deserve any better.

rschwab avatar
Argie Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA This man is using her! There are red flags in everything she told us about him! I pray she kicks him to the curb!

kubikiri-houcho avatar
Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let his parents know what he does if they are really nice they deserve to know

karenrheamoore avatar
Karen Rhea
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I gotta quit reading these things. Now I need somebody to hit.

shaunlee avatar
SheamusFanFrom1987
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry but what kind of imbecile brings along others when he can't even pay for his own meal???!!! It's obvious this guy is a walking problem factory. Hope she hasn't even thought about apologizing and is seriously considering kicking his sorry behind to the curb if she hasn't done so already.

katebaker_2 avatar
madbakes
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's dating him for familial support at this point. I hope she finds support elsewhere before she goes broke and compromises herself anymore.

donnabridges avatar
Katysgigi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave that a$$! He will continue to make your life miserable as long as you stay.

vaelyn avatar
Enlee Jones
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy has more red flags than a Conmunist parade. Girl, run for the hills before he sinks his claws into you and emotionally and financially abuses you into oblivion.

maria_focsa avatar
Mariaf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

wow, I've met this kind of guy before. They are predators that plague the support groups in search of vulnerable people to latch onto.

bonnyatlast avatar
BonnyDK
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When someone is divorced either they were a victim or they were the one who caused it. It is one of the big rules in dating etiquette that you do not mention X's. You do not compare currant date to X's. You do not berate X's in from of currant date. There is therapy for that stuff to get over it. Don't expect your currant date to be your therapist.

anniebugg avatar
Annie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey, I think I was married to this guy! The first red flag is that the guy is adamant that HE dumped his ex; that's a sign of a fragile ego or a narcissist & it's trouble regardless. 2nd biggest red flag is making his GF pay for things often enough that she feels she has to get a 2nd job. Is he not working? What a loser!

loribreen37 avatar
Lori Harper
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Met while they were both in grief therapy. That's a red flag right out the gate! He chose her because she was at her most vulnerable. What exactly is HE bringing to the table that gives him ANY right to "test" her financially or any other way?? Manipulating and gaslighting are all I see. OP needs to run far and fast. FWIW...I seriously doubt HE initiated the divorce and any breakups from "crazy exes"

areyoureallysurethatafloorcantalsobeaceiling avatar
Sweetie Dahling
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m sorry but the “Was it an Italian Restaurant?” “No a local one” part made me laugh

manicabogdan avatar
Gogubaci
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if you see those red flags and you're still with him you're an idiot, period

jomarch49 avatar
Jo March
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She seemed to be defending him in a couple of her responses (but he was so nice in the grief group, but his family is so nice) . She won't leave.

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weimcentral avatar
Weim Central
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only common thread in all his failed relationships is HIM! Get out - get out now.

fuyu avatar
fu yu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The poor girl. Just because this guy has one or two positive traits and he has a nice family, she's being blindsided.

llsewer avatar
Jaguarundi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, she has two jobs to support the lifestyle to which he wants to be or has been accustomed to? Thank goodness she doesn't live with him and I hope she breaks ties with him immediately. She should say goodbye to his parents if she wants to, but I wouldn't recommend it.

rahni avatar
Rannveig Ess
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I smh as I read even the first paragraphs of most OP. Red flag #1, red flad #2..3, 4.... I mean come on. Ricky is a stunted, angry, manipulative jerk. The End. My sister married, then divorced, then married another jerk like this. His ex=wife was a gold digger// (if you had seen this guy, who had no job and was a pig...you'd laugh like I did...). His first serious GF didn't like sex. His current wife, who he was separated from, kept pressuring him to actually get divorced already but he had no money (it's next to nothing if it's a mutual, simple divorce. You can file it yourself.). All whining and things said to intimidate and send a mess age to Very Insecure Sis who wanted to be Perfect. Don't expect money, don't ask for anything, give a lot of s3x, don't pressure to get divorced, prove to me you're the one who's "worth it!" Gawd. Don't date narsissitc sociopaths. You're better than that

c_devine avatar
Seedy Vine
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Woman finally stands up for herself. Her man flies into a rage. Millions of these stories in this world. So sick of this sh!t. NTA, OP... RUN!

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm kinda guessing that he's lying about who initiated the divorces. And his "I hope you're not like my exes" is his way of conditioning you to be the way he wants, not who you want to be. Ditch him quick. He's a leech and always will be.

jparker001 avatar
Where’s The Shovel?
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

RUN! He's testing your boundaries and pushing to see how far he can go then gaslighting you that the problem is you. His next action will be to suggest moving in together as it will be cheaper for both of you. Please do not. He will use you up then discard you when you can't/won't fulfil his needs.

codyhill avatar
Cody Hill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately you were just another innocent person who was grieving and he used that to manipulate you. I'm honestly concerned he probably never had a sister and has been using grieving groups to find victims to manipulate.

ingo_3 avatar
lapis lazuli
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

stories like this have been on AITA before and the partners are always doing it with their whole family. toxic.

vanburensupernova44 avatar
Buren
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why this needs to be IATA question? Is it not obvious enough?

nettiesark avatar
Annette Blanks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is pure strategy! He is playing you. What kind of man does this? I would ask him when is it his turn to pay so you can invite your family. He actually laughed when he thought you were trapped there? No way a grown man would do all this!

petemccann avatar
DrBronxx
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As soon as I read the "divorced" vs "divorcee" thing, I thought "RUN", and almost didn't want to read on. He sounds like a stupid man playing at horrible manipulation. get out. get out. get out.

caseymcalister avatar
Casey McAlister
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, if you are going through a rough time, maybe eat at home? Restaraunt isn't a basic need, you totally can do without it.

marigenbeltran_2 avatar
Windtree
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope the OP doesn't stay in the relationship just because his family treats her better than her own because boyfriend is clearly the AH.

lnoft97 avatar
Sally Barry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's mad because you are his own ATM machine that rolled away down the street. Keep rolling. Doesn't matter how nice his parents are, you have to live with HIM, the jerk, not them.

blatherskitenoir avatar
blatherskitenoir
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's "testing" her. Testing to see how easy it is to get her to be like he wants, testing her on how much she would be willing to put up with for the privilege of being with him, and testing how much she can give him.

damonhill avatar
Seadog
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's just a lazy good for nothing user. RUN and don't look back. You're definitely too good for this piece of trash.

tristaw avatar
Trista Weidenborner
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP got a SECOND job and her BF decided she was the human ATM for him and his parents? Also constantly saying “oh my EX used to do this too” whenever she disagrees with him implies “I’m willing to dump someone over this or be such a pain about it they dump me”

bluemom2017 avatar
Pamela Blue
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When someone rants on and on about crazy ex's, it's pretty obvious who is the crazy one.

courtneyliston avatar
Stylishsidewaysbird
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of her responses was that his parents are nice and treat her better than her own family….girl don’t be with this a-hole because of his nice family….find some with a nice family who is also nice! They exist and you/we all deserve that.

mim8209 avatar
MimSorensson
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Remove yourself from this absolute manure explosion. If he starts THIS early and THIS blatantly, then there is no common future for you in which you’ll have access to your own credit card, your own phone, your own friends, ANY friends, keep your savings, keep your integrity, keep your dignity, keep yourself, and, lastly, quite possibly your life. There is no future scenario in which you are in an adult, caring, reasonable relationship with this man. It will never happen. Run. Run fast.

marianmoore1948 avatar
Marian Moore
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Quit ignoring the red flags. He is a user, and you are letting him get away with it.

davan7 avatar
Deb Van Iderstine
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just to be clear, divorcée is the feminine form of the French word for divorced. He doesn't want to be called a divorced man, fine, but what he calls himself is literally a divorced woman! Apart from that comic note, run, don't walk, as far away from him as you can get, NOW!

secondonlytome avatar
April Dancer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was a bit surprised with the whole 'he's not talking to me until I apologise' bit, why is this even still an option? This isn't a relationship, it's not even a friendship. I get that his family is nice, but there are lots of nice people out there and some of them don't have t**ts for sons. Nobody takes on a second job for fun and certainly not for taking the world and his wife out for dinner. The OP made him lie about why she wasn't there? Perhaps he should have told the truth then. If she doesn't want to part from the family on bad terms, maybe invite Mum out for a coffee and, casually say, sorry I couldn't stay and pay for everyone's meal on (whenever) but he surprised me with it when we got there, and I'm going through a rough patch at the moment.....

bigeddogg47 avatar
Conan Maschingon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

who cares it's a 5-month-old relationship just break up and move on

dodsonmichelle avatar
Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You've only been dating 5 months and already he's trying to manipulate you, take advantage of you & basically acting like a mooch. Girl, run. If his parents are as lovely as you say, you can still keep in contact with them, but you need to ditch this loser NOW.

arthurwmiller avatar
Arthur W Miller
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why does this site always repeat sentences two - three times in every friggin article your padding the word count VERY ANNOYING!!!

killua_84 avatar
Lunar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Break off with that crazy guy but befriend his parents.

itgrl77 avatar
Brightly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the person who posted this article needs to check their headline. The woman was sure not the one "slammed" in this story.

boredpanda_99 avatar
SirWriteALot
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People need to stop promising s**t they don't own or can't control!

debra_mcgeorge avatar
Debra McGeorge
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex (not the man's name in my I.d.) turned out to always be in a rough patch and wound up being a true golddigger. Better you leave this relationship behind.

bfellows1 avatar
Barb Fellows
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You got a second job so you probably needed that income but he expects you to pay for everything because he is going through a bad stretch. He should have done what you did and gotten a second job to make ends meet. Suggest that as you lock your door to keep him out.

long_fung avatar
Alexis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's never a good sign when your partner keeps talking about and comparing you with their ex.

nancyhoward_1999 avatar
Nancy Howard
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When do we get updates. Did she or didn't she dump him? Did you miss she's working two jobs? Invited his parents without consulting her? TELLING her she's going pay, ha ha you're here. Now you have to. Oh honey tats just one teeny step too far. Buh-Bye

robyn63ward avatar
Robyn Ward
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

5 months of "testing and comparing", run now just like his "ex" did...

darksteed avatar
Grith Darksteed
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Guess women that expect men to pay while dating are just going through "rough patches" as well. Though expecting someone else to pay for people you invited is a bit too far fetched. If you don't have the money, don't go out.

marilynrussell avatar
Marilyn Russell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please dear lady, walk away from this one - you absolutely can do better and deserve better. There is a reason he is divorced and luckily for you, you saw it, and set clear boundaries when faced with a nonsensical, manipulative situation. That shows that you have respect for yourself. Good for you! Just call him and say things just aren’t working out and you wish him the best.

kanrrykang avatar
KK
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Red flags everywhere. NTA, hopefully this individual finds someone better.

jose_carlo avatar
Jose Carlo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get rid of him like an extremely dirty, oil-soaked rag! He shall be using more and more and frankly, WHY on earth would he tell stories about his exes?

juniorcj82 avatar
JuniorCJ82
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Should have dumped him after he keeps comparing her to his exes. Methinks we have a Taylor Swift situation.

lisah255 avatar
LH25
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone needs to "make money a priority"! Or he'd starve.

savannahyoung avatar
S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you stay with him, you get what you get with no sympathy from me. Good luck.

miz_jen_lee avatar
Jennifer Lee
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I can't feel sorry for someone who is this much of a doormat. You might as well just give him your ATM card and code, you weak little twit. Wow.

mdr_1 avatar
Potato
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We accept the love we believe we deserve. She made a comment about how her family treats her. Try some compassion.

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