Wife Leaves To Hawaii Without Her Husband Who Wanted To Stay With His Widow Mom, Asks If She’s A Jerk
Spouses deciding where to spend the holidays without hurting the feelings of their parents or in-laws (or each other) is one of the conflict threats that can turn winter holidays sour.
This is what happened to mom and Redditor Liarliker, who took it to the AITA community on Reddit to find out if she was wrong to leave her husband alone for Christmas.
“Every year my family spends our Christmas in Hawaii. We’ve done it every year since I can remember and it’s a fun family tradition for me,” the author explained in a post that amassed 18.8k upvotes.
Last year, however, her husband’s father passed away and “it hit him and his mom hard. For obvious reasons, we didn’t go to Hawaii.”
This year, after spending Thanksgiving with the husband’s mom, the family was once again getting their bags packed for Hawaii. But when it was time to go to the airport, the plan shattered to pieces.
Mom took the kids and went to visit her parents in Hawaii for Christmas, leaving dad, who suddenly changed his mind, alone at home
Image credits: Ciindy Veliz (not the actual photo)
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/liarliker
Many people expressed their support for the author in the comments
Others, however, thought the mom was to blame for this whole situation
Here's your relationship: You always spend Christmas with your family and refuse to change except for one year his dad died. You're a selfish person and sound like a rich, spoiled brat.
You should read her responses to some of the comments on her post. She has zero empathy for her husband. She is horrible. His dad died the week before Christmas and her comment was that they couldn't go to Hawaii because the funeral was on the same day the flights were.
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They did forego the trip in the 1st year that the husband's father died. They agreed to the plans the 2nd year. Having said that, given that the ops father paid for all their tickets, surely they could have gifted his widowed mother tickets to join them? I would have made this the tradition going forward personally as the widow could do with a change of scenery at such an emotive time of year imo.
From what I'm reading, it has been just over a year since his father died. That first Christmas would have been the immediate shock of his death, and now it's the first "normal" year without him.
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I feel like this could all be solved by bringing MIL on the trip with them. That is, if she would want to go. Might be a nice distraction.. I mean she lost her other half for crying out loud and he lost his dad. That's not something you get over in one year. I started out thinking she was NTA but I just couldn't see myself caring more about a trip than my family.
It could have at least been offered but OP doesn’t say if there are other siblings/family that celebrate Christmas together in the husbands family. Hubby should not have tried to change the plan last minute but OP sounds like the a*****e to me. Every year Xmas with her family? That and her ‘my vacation’ wording sounds very selfish.
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Here's your relationship: You always spend Christmas with your family and refuse to change except for one year his dad died. You're a selfish person and sound like a rich, spoiled brat.
You should read her responses to some of the comments on her post. She has zero empathy for her husband. She is horrible. His dad died the week before Christmas and her comment was that they couldn't go to Hawaii because the funeral was on the same day the flights were.
Load More Replies... They did forego the trip in the 1st year that the husband's father died. They agreed to the plans the 2nd year. Having said that, given that the ops father paid for all their tickets, surely they could have gifted his widowed mother tickets to join them? I would have made this the tradition going forward personally as the widow could do with a change of scenery at such an emotive time of year imo.
From what I'm reading, it has been just over a year since his father died. That first Christmas would have been the immediate shock of his death, and now it's the first "normal" year without him.
Load More Replies... I feel like this could all be solved by bringing MIL on the trip with them. That is, if she would want to go. Might be a nice distraction.. I mean she lost her other half for crying out loud and he lost his dad. That's not something you get over in one year. I started out thinking she was NTA but I just couldn't see myself caring more about a trip than my family.
It could have at least been offered but OP doesn’t say if there are other siblings/family that celebrate Christmas together in the husbands family. Hubby should not have tried to change the plan last minute but OP sounds like the a*****e to me. Every year Xmas with her family? That and her ‘my vacation’ wording sounds very selfish.
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