People Are Torn About This “Lazy” Mom Of 4 And Her Honest View Of Her House After 4 Days Of Not Cleaning
Being a parent is awesome, but you can’t deny that some things are overly romanticized about it.
They tell you how kids can liven up your day and how their smiles can bring world peace, but let’s be real, the remaining 98% of parenting is a relentless attempt at raising decent human beings and adulting at the same time.
And to show you just how real it can get, this one mom shared what her house looks like after just 4 days of not tidying up with 4 kids in the household.
More Info: TikTok
Keeping a house clean is a challenge for many, let alone mothers with 4 kids who post videos of the reality as motivation to clean up
Image credits: @themessymama4
Image credits: @themessymama4
Meet Bri James, also known as the The Messy Mama on TikTok, a momma blogger with 4 lovely children.
Not too long ago, she has been going viral with a video of hers where she shows what four days of not cleaning the house looks like in a 6-people family household.
In the video, she describes this as the consequence of “two really lazy adults have 4 kids and don’t clean up after themselves” for 4 days. She also elaborates that she has not done the dishes or picked up things throughout that time, highlighting that this isn’t dirty, but rather just a mess.
Momma blogger of 4 Bri James shared a video where she shows just how messy it gets in 4 days in a house of a family of 6
Image credits: @themessymama4
Image credits: @themessymama4
Image credits: @themessymama4
Image credits: @themessymama4
Said mess was what you’d expect of one: everything from kids’ toys to empty packets to furniture pieces scattered all over the floor, with kitchen counters occupied by dirty dishes and dining implements and the living room looking like a kid’s playground. Pretty standard if you ask me.
She posted the video to TikTok as a means of motivating herself to clean up the house and keep herself accountable, knowing all too well that she’ll be roasted for it.
But, in reality, what it ended up turning into was a bit of a debate, in the lightest sense of the word. People weren’t really discussing, but there were definitely two sides that people were choosing between.
Everything from toys to furniture pieces on the floor to over-the-top counter stacking to this mini playground living room
Image credits: @themessymama4
As of this article, the video has nearly 18 million views with over 1.2 million likes
@themessymama4I will block those who are mean. this is to keep me accountable not for views.♬ original sound – Bri James
But Bri did what she set out to do, and that is to clean the house, which she did in 4 videos
Image credits: @themessymama4
Image credits: @themessymama4
Image credits: @themessymama4
On the one hand, sure, she got roasted. For the most part, people were pointing out that while things scattered on the floor is surely a mess, the unwashed dishes are definitely dirty and there is no other way of describing it. If anything, it was unhygienic.
Others said that it’s impossible to blame the kids at this point—this is all because these “lazy” parents were just too lazy about it, and yet others even explained that this sets a bad example for the kids.
Image credits: @themessymama4
Image credits: @themessymama4
Image credits: @themessymama4
However, something that Bri seemingly did not expect was the vast support from other parents and just people who relate to the messy situation.
For starters, this is a very segmented part of the mother’s life—very real and very necessary, but also very out of context, as you can’t really assume that this is always the way it is. You can’t ever truly know what this mom goes through on the daily, especially with 4 little rascals.
Others, mostly parents of 1 to 5 kids, point out that this is an inevitability that parents shouldn’t be judged for. It’s much harder than it looks and it takes a parent to actually understand the struggle.
Reactions came from two sides, with some disapproving, and others showing support
In general, there was lots of love and support for Bri to outweigh all of the negativity found in the comment section. But, as mentioned previously, the mom used this as motivation to clean up. And clean up she did.
But there was an overwhelming amount of support, mostly from people who know what parenting is really like
The next day, her followers got four videos (here, here, here, and here) detailing her clean-up journey. And hey, one of her daughters joined in to help clean up, which throws the “setting a bad example” argument out the window. And in a day, she turned a messy house into a clean one.
The video got a significant amount of attention, garnering nearly 18 million views and over 1.2 million likes, with another 3.5 million from the clean-up videos. You can check out the video here, and her channel here, but before you go, let us know your levels of messy or what you thought about this video in the comment section below!
Opinion: I don't know about this... I don't want to judge but I think it does look dirty. Some of this - like trash on the floor - would have taken less than 10 seconds to put it in the trashcan - why allow it on the floor? And I wouldn't want my kids to grow up thinking that such disorganized, unhygienic conditions are "normal." If this is a one time family emergency - fine; but if they let it get to this condition regularly ...not a good "normal."
Yea, it’s like really dirty.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
it's really not, it's the level of mess that happens in a house with multiple people, when you don't clean every day. dirt is not inherently unhygienic; we have immune systems for a reason, and dirt =/= germs. i have pets, and my house gets vacuumed twice a year, if that. do you know how much cat hair i inadvertently ingest? probably a LOT. is it bad for me? no more than living on earth is. y'all need to relax, take a breath, and quit freaking out so much about cleanliness.
This made its way around a couple months ago. It doesn't take her that long it all to clean her house up. People have different issues and everybody has bad weeks (get really sick with the flu, family emergencies etc) mess builds up. She's given inspiration to lots of depression nesters. Life happens and lots of people could use some support after the whole covid trauma. When I went through my nervous breakdown my house was often this bad before I could even see that there was a problem. If I could've had support instead of people telling me I was just lazy and telling me how easy everything should be things might not have gotten that bad. "Normal" people struggle. It doesn't make them lazy or disgusting.
Then she needs to get help. Saying this is normal and okay and not a big deal...it is a big deal that she and her husband can't keep a clean house for their kids and they need to get help. The rug is disgusting. Four days of dishes? That is not okay.
No, this mess didn’t happen in days. That stove top has never been cleaned. I understand people go through things, but it should never get this bad. She admits right off the bat that she and her husband are both lazy.
This house is disgusting. I dont care why it got to this point, she has kids who deserve a clean living space. If she cant handle the bare minimum of cleanliness then maybe CPS should step in. It's not ok to raise kids in this
my own living space is 10x worse than this, and i know it. i usually have weeks-old dishes on various surfaces. i AM disgusting, but not lazy, just chronically ill, and i feel quite certain that the only detriment my surroundings have on me is mental. those of you freaking out about dirt and disgusting and whatnot must lead very sad lives, cleaning your house every day. dirt is normal, wear and tear on furniture and floors is normal. kids are supposed to get dirty, and have exposure to dirt and germs so their immune systems develop properly. @Kandi Heiple suggesting CPS should be summoned because this woman didn't clean her house for four days is delusional, and i really hope you don't have kids of your own. if you do, i'm sorry they have such a neurotic mom.
Yes, you should judge. There are kids involved here and they are living like animals. Everyone should judge. This is not ok.
This is not healthy for the children. If the children had been taught from the beginning, to put up what they were playing with before getting another toy, they would do it. Children want to feel helpful and like being rewarded for their efforts. They need a chore system relative to their age and abilities, to get some stickers on a board and maybe a special movie night or other activities that they like as rewards for a week's worth of accomplished goals. It would benefit the entire family and the children would feel more involved, instead of left to fend for themselves all the time. Which is how houses end up looking like that. That happens because the children don't know what to do with themselves, are bored, have no structure or consequences of any kind, they are left to their own devices to entertain themselves, no encouragement to do anything constructive, or no positive behavior to mimic because mimicry is another way that children learn. They should do better.
to be honest, i agree. It does look dirty, especially the floors and rugs. You can tell, that most of these have not been cleaned regularly. It just shows that people have different expectations on what they consider clean. I‘m not judging. I‘m sure people can live happily like that and it shouldn‘t harm the kids either. But this will affect how the way the kids regard hygiene etc. Most likely they will grow up with similar cleanliness standards. To me this is ok, but i wouldn‘t want this.
She's a grown woman, she can pick up after her self and her kids. This is so unsanitary and in not an environment kids should be growing up in.
idk why ur getting downvoted, I agree with you!!
:) Thanks!
So can the father.
My impression was that she did it on purpose (i.e. not picking up anything for four days) to amplify the point that adults get lazy (and tired), kids get messy and sometimes this is what your house can look like. I doubt it looks like that all the time - she did clean it up next. I actually found this video inspiring - I have a very messy home, I hate cleaning up, both my teen and myself have depression and we just cannot find energy. My mom literally refuses to visit our place because it is "dirty" (she's a cleaning freak), but our place never looked like that. So I guess when I think that we "never" clean up, we actually do a very good job! We may not have a picture-perfect home, but now I know that we are actually doing a lot, we just do not give ourselves credit for it.
Just looking at that gives me an increased heart rate. I know some people can live like this not because they're lazy but they have mental health issues that make them less motivated to clean and tidy the place up, but personally there's nothing that would make my mental health go downhill as quick as living in that mess. I like order, not chaos. And yeah, kids are messy but it ain't bad parenting to teach them to put toys away when they've finished with them before they get other ones out.
We could get all toys out to play anywhere, but also were taught to put them away after finishing - ok for me the main motivation was not to let my siblings take my toys, but still it's something I've learned for life, I put everything away as soon as I'm done
This is not just toys, this is piles of filth everywhere.
It's not just mental health issues. Having my son destroyed my health. While I never there trash anywhere except a trashcan, there are pros where I physically can not clean bc I'm too sick. And I'm at the doctor's constantly trying to get better. We judge first and ask questions later and it shouldn't be this way. Empathy. Compassion.
welcome to the vicious cycle of depression and anxiety! it becomes messy due to these things, and then the thought of actually trying to conquer the mess leads to more angst, which leads to letting it sit some more.
It’s not just your mental health that would be negatively impacted by this, it’s everybody’s mental health. This is not a way to live, and it’s certainly not a way to raise children.
Opinion: I don't know about this... I don't want to judge but I think it does look dirty. Some of this - like trash on the floor - would have taken less than 10 seconds to put it in the trashcan - why allow it on the floor? And I wouldn't want my kids to grow up thinking that such disorganized, unhygienic conditions are "normal." If this is a one time family emergency - fine; but if they let it get to this condition regularly ...not a good "normal."
Yea, it’s like really dirty.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
it's really not, it's the level of mess that happens in a house with multiple people, when you don't clean every day. dirt is not inherently unhygienic; we have immune systems for a reason, and dirt =/= germs. i have pets, and my house gets vacuumed twice a year, if that. do you know how much cat hair i inadvertently ingest? probably a LOT. is it bad for me? no more than living on earth is. y'all need to relax, take a breath, and quit freaking out so much about cleanliness.
This made its way around a couple months ago. It doesn't take her that long it all to clean her house up. People have different issues and everybody has bad weeks (get really sick with the flu, family emergencies etc) mess builds up. She's given inspiration to lots of depression nesters. Life happens and lots of people could use some support after the whole covid trauma. When I went through my nervous breakdown my house was often this bad before I could even see that there was a problem. If I could've had support instead of people telling me I was just lazy and telling me how easy everything should be things might not have gotten that bad. "Normal" people struggle. It doesn't make them lazy or disgusting.
Then she needs to get help. Saying this is normal and okay and not a big deal...it is a big deal that she and her husband can't keep a clean house for their kids and they need to get help. The rug is disgusting. Four days of dishes? That is not okay.
No, this mess didn’t happen in days. That stove top has never been cleaned. I understand people go through things, but it should never get this bad. She admits right off the bat that she and her husband are both lazy.
This house is disgusting. I dont care why it got to this point, she has kids who deserve a clean living space. If she cant handle the bare minimum of cleanliness then maybe CPS should step in. It's not ok to raise kids in this
my own living space is 10x worse than this, and i know it. i usually have weeks-old dishes on various surfaces. i AM disgusting, but not lazy, just chronically ill, and i feel quite certain that the only detriment my surroundings have on me is mental. those of you freaking out about dirt and disgusting and whatnot must lead very sad lives, cleaning your house every day. dirt is normal, wear and tear on furniture and floors is normal. kids are supposed to get dirty, and have exposure to dirt and germs so their immune systems develop properly. @Kandi Heiple suggesting CPS should be summoned because this woman didn't clean her house for four days is delusional, and i really hope you don't have kids of your own. if you do, i'm sorry they have such a neurotic mom.
Yes, you should judge. There are kids involved here and they are living like animals. Everyone should judge. This is not ok.
This is not healthy for the children. If the children had been taught from the beginning, to put up what they were playing with before getting another toy, they would do it. Children want to feel helpful and like being rewarded for their efforts. They need a chore system relative to their age and abilities, to get some stickers on a board and maybe a special movie night or other activities that they like as rewards for a week's worth of accomplished goals. It would benefit the entire family and the children would feel more involved, instead of left to fend for themselves all the time. Which is how houses end up looking like that. That happens because the children don't know what to do with themselves, are bored, have no structure or consequences of any kind, they are left to their own devices to entertain themselves, no encouragement to do anything constructive, or no positive behavior to mimic because mimicry is another way that children learn. They should do better.
to be honest, i agree. It does look dirty, especially the floors and rugs. You can tell, that most of these have not been cleaned regularly. It just shows that people have different expectations on what they consider clean. I‘m not judging. I‘m sure people can live happily like that and it shouldn‘t harm the kids either. But this will affect how the way the kids regard hygiene etc. Most likely they will grow up with similar cleanliness standards. To me this is ok, but i wouldn‘t want this.
She's a grown woman, she can pick up after her self and her kids. This is so unsanitary and in not an environment kids should be growing up in.
idk why ur getting downvoted, I agree with you!!
:) Thanks!
So can the father.
My impression was that she did it on purpose (i.e. not picking up anything for four days) to amplify the point that adults get lazy (and tired), kids get messy and sometimes this is what your house can look like. I doubt it looks like that all the time - she did clean it up next. I actually found this video inspiring - I have a very messy home, I hate cleaning up, both my teen and myself have depression and we just cannot find energy. My mom literally refuses to visit our place because it is "dirty" (she's a cleaning freak), but our place never looked like that. So I guess when I think that we "never" clean up, we actually do a very good job! We may not have a picture-perfect home, but now I know that we are actually doing a lot, we just do not give ourselves credit for it.
Just looking at that gives me an increased heart rate. I know some people can live like this not because they're lazy but they have mental health issues that make them less motivated to clean and tidy the place up, but personally there's nothing that would make my mental health go downhill as quick as living in that mess. I like order, not chaos. And yeah, kids are messy but it ain't bad parenting to teach them to put toys away when they've finished with them before they get other ones out.
We could get all toys out to play anywhere, but also were taught to put them away after finishing - ok for me the main motivation was not to let my siblings take my toys, but still it's something I've learned for life, I put everything away as soon as I'm done
This is not just toys, this is piles of filth everywhere.
It's not just mental health issues. Having my son destroyed my health. While I never there trash anywhere except a trashcan, there are pros where I physically can not clean bc I'm too sick. And I'm at the doctor's constantly trying to get better. We judge first and ask questions later and it shouldn't be this way. Empathy. Compassion.
welcome to the vicious cycle of depression and anxiety! it becomes messy due to these things, and then the thought of actually trying to conquer the mess leads to more angst, which leads to letting it sit some more.
It’s not just your mental health that would be negatively impacted by this, it’s everybody’s mental health. This is not a way to live, and it’s certainly not a way to raise children.