Whether lawyers share surprising things they read in someone’s will, petty ways spouses made each other miserable, or their "oh hold on" moments in court, people are obsessed with hearing about ludicrous courtroom drama.
We may not get to peek behind the curtain, but luckily, there are plenty of attorneys who witnessed a thing or two and are ready to share it with the whole world. So when user thecptnswagg posed a question to fellow members of Ask Reddit, "What’s the worst way you’ve seen a person screw over someone else in court whether it be criminal, civil, or divorce proceedings?" thousands of comments flooded in.
In this thread, they told plenty of stories about the terrible ways people throw each other (and sometimes even themselves!) under the bus, and Bored Panda has selected some of the most interesting ones. So scroll down, upvote your favorites, and let us know what you think about them in the comments!
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So my father-in-law had arrested someone for breaking and entering. During his arraignment, the judge stopped for a moment and asked the defendant where he got his suit from. It turns out that the defendant was also responsible for a previously unsolved break-in at the judge's home and had shown up wearing one of the judge's stolen suits.
I'm not a lawyer, but my dad is a physician and is sometimes called as a professional witness in cases of malpractice. In one memorable case, a family was suing a doctor for something fairly frivolous, and my dad was a witness for the defense.
The lawyer representing the family was cross-examining my dad and brought up a chapter in a medical textbook and asked my dad to read a highlighted paragraph. He did, and the lawyer said something to the effect of, 'So, what you just read means...' My dad confidently replied, 'No, it does not mean that.'
Lawyer: No, but if you read xyz, the author clearly states...
Dad: No, really, that's not what the author means.
Lawyer: How do you know that's not what the author meant?
Dad: Well, because I wrote it.
Judge basically facepalmed while the lawyer mimicked a goldfish and stared at the author name on the chapter. Basically the best moment of my dad's professional life. (Yes, ruling was in the defendant's favor.)
i can hear the "OOOOOOOHHH" and cheering meme, just by reading this.
We reached out to one of the Redditors who shared their story in this thread. They preferred to stay anonymous but were kind enough to share their thoughts. According to the user, there's quite a number of cases where people try to screw someone over in court only to see it backfire in the best possible way.
"I think it happens a decent amount, if not always so spectacularly as listed out in that thread," they told Bored Panda. We were interested to hear the user's take on why some people decide to act this way. "In my experience, people try to pull shenanigans because they think they’re the smartest person in the room and that everyone will just accept what they say at face value."
Well, not my story, but a prior boss's story:
They had a drunk-driver-kills-a-car-worth-of-people case at the time when they were a general practitioner. My boss was representing the family that got hit (one where the two kids and the wife had died, but the father had not) and wanted the college guy's drunk-driving skin to be mounted on a wall.
This was back before Facebook was commonly used in Court proceedings and before tons of people realized that s**t is too great for any attorney worth their weight in salt to pass up.
So, the kid (drunk driving college kid) had managed to get the judge's sympathy during the first part of the hearing by saying he was sorry, haunted, never going to drink again, this was going to ruin his life, etc. The judge seemed to really be eating it up.
Then comes my boss and immediately burns this kid's remorse to the ground by showing numerous Facebook statuses and photos of them binge drinking, partying, and even joking about driving drunk from the date of the accident up until a night ago. The kid looked like he was being forced to swallow hot coals and the judge was absolutely livid.
Needless to say, the kid had to do way more than just apologize and be remorseful after that.
I represented a guy who stole three trucks from his work. Only two were recovered before trial. He showed up to a motion hearing in the third one.
Not a lawyer but this story always gets me. My biological grandmother died 20 years ago of ovarian cancer, she left all her money, trusts, bonds to my grandfather to use (while alive) and disperse (after death). My grandfather remarried something like 15 years ago to my step-grandma. My grandfather ended up dying first a few years back.
My step aunt is a greedy b***h who lives on the opposite side of the country, she's lived off of her mother and my grandfather for all of her life. She'd come over and take them on "vacation" where she'd use their money to buy herself things and get a free skiing trip about 8x a year.
After my grandfather passed, my step-grandma had to move where her children live to get care for dementia. My step-aunt has access to not only her own mother's estate but my grandfather's as well to take care of her needs.
That wasn't enough.
She decided to try and sue my dad and uncle for their dead biological mother's estate.
My dad is bilaterally paralyzed and in a wheelchair.
My uncle is a triple bypass survivor with a pacemaker and multiple stints. Both are on fixed disability income.
The court date came and I literally wheeled my dad in while my uncle walked with a cane.
My step-aunt is entirely able bodied and rolling in the millions my step grandma and grandfather worked their whole lives to earn.
The judge took one look at the whole picture and she was absolutely denied access to my biological grandmothers estate. We were there for less than an hour.
The user added that there’s also an aspect of control involved in such behavior "as a lot of people think they can manipulate the proceedings or the judge to steer it in some absurd direction. It’s a weird, misguided hyper-self-confidence."
However, they explained that such efforts usually don’t work. "The judge and the attorneys in the room have heard it all before, and can generally see right through it. People forget that what is a huge deal for them as a litigant is often just business as usual for the judges and attorneys, even if it is very important business," the Redditor explained.
IANAL but this case got pretty big when I was serving in the US Navy. Largely because it involved a sailor.
So, this Submariner gets divorced from his Wife. Ex-wife originally gets custody of their son, due to the nature of the Submariner's operation schedule. Ex-wife later looses custody due to being convicted of Child Abuse/Neglect. The ex-wife wasn't having this, because now there was no more free money for her.
The Submariner gets a GF, and gives her guardian rights over his son while on deployment. They live in California due to orders, and the ex-wife lives in Michigan (if I recall). The ex-wife waits until Submariner goes on deployment and "serves" him papers for a custody battle, again on the grounds of his schedule. The trial is set for the next month in Michigan.
The problem with being stationed onboard a sub, you only surface every couple months and almost never have comms off-ship. Sub guys give family or SO's Power of Attorney all the time because of this. The court papers were sent and the trial occured when he had no communication. The female judge who presided over the case sympathized with the ex-wife, decided that children belonged with their mother and not in the care of random women, and that the Abuse conviction was likely false. Ex-wife was granted custody by default, and the judge tried to get the Submariner on Contemt of Court for not showing up. Until his Chain of Command heard about it.
See, it's illegal in the US to punish a service member for missing a court date due to military operations or deployments.
The Submariner's Chain of Command called a JAG, who assigned the Submariner a lawyer. His lawyer took the appeal to the Michigan State Supreme Court. The original judge isn't a judge anymore, and the ex-wife is now permanently labeled unfit to care for children.
Nasty custody fight
The ex-wife was a lawyer and represented herself. The ex-husband had a pretty s**ty lawyer. She kept hauling things back to court trying to get more benefits from him and his lawyer just let it keep happening and it was destroying his life - allegations of child abuse, was taking so much money that he could barely afford a s**t apartment and couldn't afford a car which both figured in later for custody.
Finally the ex-wife's father (also a lawyer) asked to meet with the judge and mentioned a few things that he knew were going on...
One of the children was manic-depressive and the ex-wife would take him off his meds before it was the ex-husband's turn for custody. The child abuse allegations were from the ex-husband trying to restrain the child during a manic episode because he wasn't medicated.
The ex-wife had intentionally timed the child abuse allegation to fall just before the holidays so the ex-husband couldn't see the kids for Halloween - Thanksgiving - Christmas. She bragged to family that it would do the maximum emotional damage possible doing it then.
The ex-wife had forged documents to overstate the ex-husband's income when alimony was being determined
Oh... and the ex-wife was sleeping with the ex-husband's lawyer.
The ex-husband's lawyer was reported to the bar (not sure what happened there). The Judge order a review of everything and arranged for a new lawyer for the ex-husband. It was looking like the alimoney would be vastly reduced and the ex-husband was going to get custody. But then the ex-husband died (blood clot) two months later. Years of being screwed over, finally saw a light at the end of the tunnel, but ended up being the wrong light at the end of the wrong tunnel.
My wife is the lawyer.
Info: When children reach the age of majority if they do not continue studying and start working, it is not necessary to pay alimony.
Info: My wife's client found a new lover, which unleashed the wrath of the ex-wife, who started asking for more alimony for her children.
Well to win the case, it was necessary to prove that the children were working, but they could not get any proof of it.
There was not much chance of winning, but they still went to court hoping that with the interrogations they could find information that would put them in evidence.
On the day of the trial the children did not go, only the mother and her lawyer were present.
Judge: Madam, tell me why your children could not come.
Mom: they could not get permission at work.
Judge:...
Lawyer:...
Mom: ...
Another few seconds of silence.
Judge: well, that was fast.
There should be financial and criminal consequences for people who abuse the legal system with fraudulent or absurde claims.
I work in criminal law, and once saw a defendant who was charged with simple theft of mail matter. He was a porch pirate and had stolen a package that was worth less than $100. When he was initially arraigned he was offered a 30 day jail sentence to plead guilty. He refused and insisted upon going to trial.
When his case reached my office, he was again given a reasonable offer of 2 years. Because he had a lengthy criminal history he was considered a persistent offender, so the offer was more than what a package thief would typically get, but reasonable nonetheless.
It’s important to note that he was caught on security camera actually stealing the package, and getting into a car that was registered to him. Basically we had him dead to rights. But, he still insisted on trial. So we tried the case. The jury found him guilty and imposed the statutory maximum sentence given his criminal record—20 years.
That’s the story of the man who turned a 30 day sentence into 20 years.
He believed he was a really good con man so would fool jury, when he was just a really bad theif.
Needless to say, most people find going to court a stressful situation. For many of us, it is often an unfamiliar and even scary ground, but that does not mean we should let our emotions get out of control. Misleading your attorney, providing false information, or thinking you can trick and outsmart everyone else in court can come back to bite you. After all, the truth almost always finds its way out.
"Once the court sees that you are trying to do something shady or act in bad faith, they are much less likely to do you any favors or give you the benefit of the doubt moving forward," the user added.
Not the worst, but one sticks out that they did to themselves. Woman shows up to court in a 'It's party time, b***hes! Drink up!' T-shirt. She was there for her first appearance on a third DUI charge. Judge was not in a humorous mood that day.
Kind of a self-screw, but the MPA (Motion Picture Association), as part of their lawsuit, entered [hacker] DVD Jon's code for breaking DVD copy protection into their evidence, which then became public record. The code that breaks DVD copy protection was now available to the entire world, defeating the entire purpose of their lawsuit.
DVD copy protection never worked and pirates wouldn't want exact copies anyway because people bought the illegal copies to avoid having to see the unskippable anti-piracy messages.
Am lawyer, saw someone screw himself.
I work as a public servant in a criminal law judge's office, and since I have a law degree I don't normally do administrative work, though I get to be with the judge in some of the hearings.
Last month we had a huge drug trafficking case (I'm talking about 20 or more people involved, months of investigation, undercover agents, videos, audio, the whole ordeal). Hearing lasted three days.
Anyway when it was time for one of the defendants to be on the stand so the prosecutor could read the charges he was accusing him of (He was pleading not guilty, as he very loudly stated from the majority of the hearing, up until my boss -the judge- told him to shut up or he would be admonished, to which he replied "what are you gonna do, arrest me?" which, to be honest, was actually a bit funny), the prosecutor, as part of the facts of his case, told him that "he was being accussed of selling, traficking and carrying x amount of x drugs, with the base of his operation being his house, where he lived with his partner" (Mind you, said partner wasn't even in the hearing, she wasn't arrested or anything as there was nothing tying her to the case) he said "wait up, I was the one selling the drugs, she didn't do anything".
His lawyer (a state assigned public lawyer) facepalmed so hard it's actually recorded in the audio of the hearing.
He still pleaded not guilty.
I'm not a lawyer, but a friend kept meticulous records of how much time his estranged wife spent with their daughter. He used pink highlighter for the mom and blue highlighter for himself. Mom sailed into arbitration demanding full custody and handsome child support and the house. Dad pulled out three years' worth of yearlong calendars. Mom had spent less than a full month with the child in three years. Mom was not happy with the outcome.
The people who want full - or even, in some cases, equal - custody without apparently ever thinking about the time commitment required blows my mind. I do 100% believe that a child has the right to have equal time with both parents(the law where I live is it's the child's rights to have a relationship with their parents - the parents don't actually have a reciprocal right). But like, I've seen cases where the dad is making bank in the oilfield working like 3 weeks on, one week off, flying in and out and adamant that he can somehow share physical custody with that kind of schedule, or he swears he'll find a new job. I do absolutely sympathize with these fathers to some extent because they work hard to support their lifestyle and that of their children, but on the other hand, actions speak louder than words, and the time to make changes and prove that you can handle shared access is long before it gets in front of a judge.
But when it comes to hearing or reading about such situations online, our fascination with the law seems to be stronger than ever. These elements of surprise glue our eyes to the screens, grab our attention and don’t let go. "I think people like those stories because we don’t all have to be in court that often so it’s something new. Plus there’s something satisfying in reading about someone else doing something bad only to have it backfire," they concluded.
I’m currently representing a sweet old lady on a case. I’ll be sparse in the details in case anyone figures out who I am.
Long story short, this lady’s neighbour convinces her that her house is basically unsellable, that her house requires all sorts of repairs, the repairs to the house would bankrupt her, and that she should just sell the house. To him.
He shows up at her house the next day with documents to sign. She has no idea what’s going on. Doesn’t read anything (actually has an eye condition) and signs everything.
When she finally sees a lawyer to close the deal, he says wtf you can’t do this. You see, the price of the transaction was about 36% of what the house is actually worth and there weren’t any repairs that needed to be done that would justify the price. Not kidding, it was stuff like fixing a faucet in the bathroom.
Also she didn’t understand that she would have nowhere to live afterwards. Old lady thought she could just stay in the house until she died.
To make matters worse, she’s living off a modest pension and the other side is suing for the house. They’re essentially trying to get her to cave because her legal fees are getting exorbitant.
I hate people.
A wife filed for a restraining order because she wanted the house during divorce. Husband had a good job, making like $200,000 per year. Employer finds out about the restraining order and the husband is fired. He was a very specialized employee, so the only job he can find close to his house, ex-wife, and daughter pays $50,000. Ultimately, the house gets foreclosed. Child support lowers to less than $500 per month. Wife has to get a job as a waitress. Four cars get repossessed.
I had a client who was trying to get away from an abusive ex and filed for a restraining order. He shows up to the final hearing and is making a big fuss about a truck that they bought during their marriage. He said it was just his, and she had no rights to it because their marriage was void.
I asked him on cross examination what he meant by that, and he said that he had already been married in another state when he married my client. He said that my client had no idea, but that it means their marriage is invalid and the truck was all his.
Not only is that legally inaccurate, the transcript of the hearing was promptly turned over to the police, who were actively investigating him for bigamy.
Oh, and the judge gave my client the truck along with a two year no-contact order.
This person screwed the selves and their company. Used to practice employment law and had a guy who was terminated, in part allegedly due to his race. His former boss was on the stand and was under direct questioning from his attorney. His attorney asked if there was a reason that he singled out our client in his treatment (assumingly to get to the fact that our guy had disciplinary issues and had been been put on a performance improvement plan). Instead he went off and talked about how just have to “ treat those people differently” and “you can’t talk to them the same way you do others.” Our cross examination was very very short. Employee was black and boss was Asian if it matters (people always seem to ask when I tell the story).
People do ask because it's common knowledge that only white people can be racist... [Sarcasm: Off]
Not court but it is legal adjacent.
My dad is an executive safety officer at the company he works at, and one of the company's truck drivers got into an accident. The driver wasn't at fault but it is company policy anytime a driver gets into an accident they drug test them same day, and when the results came back the guy failed the test.
The guy disputed the results so they had him retake it. When he finishes up in the testing facilities bathroom, the sample he gives them isn't warm at all, clearly hadn't just come out of person. And in the bathroom, which they meticulously clean between each test, they find a strip of tape and like a little vile and cap thing that would have went onto a small vile kind of container.
So my dad has to be on a conference call with the driver and his manager and some other relevant parties and the guy maintains is innocence, and they can't like conclusively prove the tape or cap means he cheated the test, so they're kind of at an impasse.
As they're getting off the call my father just kind of takes a shot and asks the driver really nonchalantly and in passing "Say, doesn't taping the vile to your leg hurt? Like how do you get it off?" and the f**king guy replies without missing a beat "Oh no, it was just painters tape, comes off easy didn't hurt at all"
There was like 5 seconds of dead air after that before the guy scrambled and tried to put the tooth paste back in the tube. The company was able to fire him without any trouble.
This one time, a pro se litigant was suing a wonderful surgeon who had done nothing wrong. One of the attempted arguments was that the surgeon's physician assistant wasn't competent to assist with procedures and follow-ups.
So the guy asks the surgeon if he HONESTLY thinks physician assistants know what they're doing and if the surgeon knows what's reasonable to expect of one. The surgeon, who was patient and humble up until this point, kindly replied that he founded the entire practice of having physician assistants in the US and that he came up with the idea while serving in combat, where he saw how helpful medics were to him while he was operating on an overwhelming number of casualties. And that, yes, he has a very good one at the hospital.
PAs are awesome. Basically a step above a Nurse Practitioner (they're specialized in certain fields, like surgery, Cardiology, Gastroenterology, etc). In fact, my primary care provider is a Nurse Practitioner. I've found that they're more thorough, and listen to me more than my MD does (he's great, he's just always so damn busy). I'm an RN, so I may be biased
Not my case, but still my favorite story. Dude screwed himself over when he went to jury trial for a burglary charge and wore the same distinct sweatshirt he wore the night he committed the crime. Kind of hard to argue that the guy in the video isn't your client at that point. Needless to say, he was convicted and spent a few years in the Department of Correction.
Not a lawyer, legal assistant. My attorney is pretty old so he needs me to help him find papers in stuff in the courtroom so I go over for all domestic and criminal cases. We had a custody case where the mom was already screwed because she was literally picked up by a bounty hunter while the dad was there getting their daughter for visitation.
Anyway, dad’s new wife gets on stand and testifies that the mom, the defendant, threatened to blow their house up. Mom gets on stands and says, “I didn’t threaten to blow your house up. I threatened to blow you up.”
I remembered another one. Had a criminal client who choked his wife out. Told the investigator, ”I mean I knew what I was doing, I know how to choke someone out without killin’ ’em.”
Never change, Alabama.
One time, I saw an indigent defendant who was in custody tell the judge his public defender wasn't working hard enough and he wanted the judge to appoint different counsel. The judge asked him what specifically was the problem and he said "I don't want a female lawyer. I need a man who can take charge and fight for me" or something very similar to that. The judge (also female) said that's not how it works, then he starting yelling and getting into specifics about his public defender, just mainly I don't like her, she won't visit me, etc. The judge is annoyed and looks at him and is like fine, I'll appoint another attorney for you, but because you are not satisfied with your attorney and I need time to appoint you new counsel I am not going to hear any other issues today and will reset your case.
A few days later the judge sends defendant notice of his new appointed attorney, who happens to also be female, and notice of the case reset for six weeks. The case was originally set for a bond hearing and the DA and his PD had agreed to release him on an unsecured bond meaning he would have gotten out that day, if he hadn't thrown his temper tantrum. Instead he waited another six weeks in jail just to have another female attorney represent.
I was involved in a custody case where a wife cheated on her husband and had a child as a result. She let the husband believe the child was his until the child was about 5 years old and they were divorcing. To stop him from getting custody, she convinced the biological father to try to get custody, thinking that if he won, she would wind up with the child.
It became a huge three-way fight, with multiple sets of grandparents involved, and the attorneys' fees skyrocketed because the case would have been pretty quick otherwise. She couldn’t pay her attorney, tried to get the bio dad to, it got even messier, etc. Basically, there still isn’t an agreement all parties will follow. They are in and out of court every year or so. She screwed herself.
I took my Ex to court because she had used my social security number to sign up for cable. I found out about it when she stopped paying for the service. She screwed herself over by just being herself. We show up to court, I turn in the contract from the cable company ,showing my social security number, and her own name signed on the contract. She didn't even try to forge my signiture, she signed her own name in and tried to deny that she had any part of it. The judge tore her apart and it was nice.
I spent a summer as an intern doing narcotics work. You’d be surprised how much information defendants and their friends/family share over prison telephone calls, even when the line informs you that the line is being monitored and recorded before the call begins."
That said, a defendant maintained he was an innocent Uber driver and was not in the business of selling drugs...meanwhile, he was telling his wife over the phone that they needed to figure out how to move 3 kilos of cocaine so they could afford the lawyer to represent him. Needless to say, he was shocked when the recording was played back in court.
Probably hoping that it ends up like the guy who had to be exonerated with the help of a tv show - the police had a recording of the actual perp ordering the hit on a kid from a prison phone but left it sitting in the back of the detective's car for two years as 'unimportant'. With the police attitude being like that, it not surprising.
Not someone else, but my client screwed them-self.
I’m doing landlord tenant stuff and my client was facing eviction over non-payment, but the client was withholding rent payments because of habitability issues in the apartment, no heat, high lead levels, vermin. This is gonna be an easy win for me.
Told my client continually to make sure they don’t spend the money, keep it but don’t spend it. Because if you show the judge you still have the money it looks real good for you in terms of making the judge believe that you’re withholding for good reasons.
We get up in front of the judge, landlord doesn’t have an attorney so I’m dancing inside, there’s no way I can lose.
I make my arguments and the landlord makes his.
Judge asks my client if they still have the money.
Client goes “nah I blew that s**t at the casino last week”
Someone I knew had a pro bono case where she had to defend a person who had been charged with a criminal offense (don't know what — confidential and whatnot). Even though the police and DA could pretty much link the crime to her client, there was no evidence to tie him to it; the case was circumstantial at best.
She had instructed him to shut up and let her do the talking during the trial, since she knew from experience that the client sometimes does not know how to answer a question properly. So she pleads and can show that the court has nothing on her client; she feels that for once, a pro bono case is going her way.
After her plea, the judge thanks her for her plea and turns to her client. He asks if the client has something to add to the plea. Client looks at her, then back at the judge; tears well up in his eyes and he blurts out, 'I'm so sorry, I'll never do it again!
She threw her notes and everything else she had in her hands at the client (now convict), apparently. She basically got screwed by her own client, who screwed himself even worse.
Not a lawyer but a friend of mine was going through a divorce and his lawyer kept putting off the trial. He just wanted it over with but the lawyer said trust me this is going to be good. Turns out dudes wife was pregnant with another mans baby. When they went to court she had a big baby bump. The judge asked if all three kids were his and she replied" no just those two". Wish I could have seen the look on her lawyers face.
My dad was a judge and had someone on trial for DUI. The guy would not stop running his mouth and was trash-talking everyone in the room. He instructed him to stop. Dude did not stop. Dad placed him in contempt of court for 90 days.
Dude gets out, goes back to trial. First thing, he starts running his mouth again. Boom. Another 90 days in jail for contempt. He does 180 days in jail, when a DUI in our state is only 60 days for his level of DUI.
Not a lawyer but when my FIL and MIL got divorced, she wanted to file jointly for the previous year because they were still married. They would have gotten a decent refund. He insisted on filing separately, despite the fact that he would owe 4k, because he wanted her to also owe the IRS. He did it to "frost her"
Note: this post originally had 71 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
I went to court to pay a traffic ticket once and while I was there there was this dude outside sitting in a bush laughing his butt off at the police officer who patiently tried to convince him to come out so he wouldn’t be late to his court time. The guy started singing about how high he was and the cop goes “since you’re about to see a judge about the drug charges, maybe don’t mention that part.”
Some years ago, Canadian documentary show filmed people getting their driver's licenses taken away for DUI in court, then followed them out to the parking lot outside the court house and filmed them getting into their cars to drive away. The journalist walked up to one and asked him what he was doing driving with no license. He hemmed and hawed and finally called a taxi.
a drug dealer/con man/embezzler/thief was under multiple felony indictments... The man was well connected with others like him who helped him & used his stolen wealth to stay in hiding. The law simply could not find him. So they sent an email message to him announcing he had won some grand prize sweepstakes with overseas vacation, free money, etc etc. All he had to do was to report to a storefront in a strip mall to claim his prize. He did, and was promptly arrested by the police who staged the whole thing. He whined as they handcuffed him, "Hey fellas, can't I at least take my free prize vacation first before you take me to jail? Please???"
I had the pleasure of watching the guy who assaulted my father in law conducting his own defence in court. He was claiming he had been the victim of the assault (my 60 yo FIL defended himself rather well). He claimed the powder that was all over his face at the time of his arrest was actually sugar from a donut and it was yellow because he also had a lemon ice pole, his opening question while cross examining the arresting officer was "Have you ever had an ice pole?" The look on the officer's face was priceless. He also claimed he hadn't been seen by the doctor in custody, the doctor testified he had attempted to examine the accused and had been told to f**k off. He also called the judge "a stupid cow" and tried to start a fight with me because I was openly laughing at him (I was told to behave by the bailiff). The guy got five months in jail and his ex girlfriend told us all about how he'd had a kicking earlier on that day and was trying to pass it on to someone else.
Seated on a Grand Jury, our favorite comment to anyone was "What's on your alleged mind?"
I was in local court for not having my license when I was stopped. I had misplaced it and couldn't find it. Judge took care of several cases. During this time it was noticeable that there was a bald child there with his dad. Dad is called before the judge for having his windows tinted a bit too dark. Dad says that they just got the van because they needed to .... lifts boy up.... deal with his cancer. It was obvious that the child was going through chemo and everyone, including the judge, thought it was a not a good idea to showcase his child like that. Instead of giving the man time to deal with the darkened windows, he fined him and charged court costs. Judge told me to apply for a replacement license and return. On return, case dismissed. It could have happened to the dad the same way.
I went to court to pay a traffic ticket once and while I was there there was this dude outside sitting in a bush laughing his butt off at the police officer who patiently tried to convince him to come out so he wouldn’t be late to his court time. The guy started singing about how high he was and the cop goes “since you’re about to see a judge about the drug charges, maybe don’t mention that part.”
Some years ago, Canadian documentary show filmed people getting their driver's licenses taken away for DUI in court, then followed them out to the parking lot outside the court house and filmed them getting into their cars to drive away. The journalist walked up to one and asked him what he was doing driving with no license. He hemmed and hawed and finally called a taxi.
a drug dealer/con man/embezzler/thief was under multiple felony indictments... The man was well connected with others like him who helped him & used his stolen wealth to stay in hiding. The law simply could not find him. So they sent an email message to him announcing he had won some grand prize sweepstakes with overseas vacation, free money, etc etc. All he had to do was to report to a storefront in a strip mall to claim his prize. He did, and was promptly arrested by the police who staged the whole thing. He whined as they handcuffed him, "Hey fellas, can't I at least take my free prize vacation first before you take me to jail? Please???"
I had the pleasure of watching the guy who assaulted my father in law conducting his own defence in court. He was claiming he had been the victim of the assault (my 60 yo FIL defended himself rather well). He claimed the powder that was all over his face at the time of his arrest was actually sugar from a donut and it was yellow because he also had a lemon ice pole, his opening question while cross examining the arresting officer was "Have you ever had an ice pole?" The look on the officer's face was priceless. He also claimed he hadn't been seen by the doctor in custody, the doctor testified he had attempted to examine the accused and had been told to f**k off. He also called the judge "a stupid cow" and tried to start a fight with me because I was openly laughing at him (I was told to behave by the bailiff). The guy got five months in jail and his ex girlfriend told us all about how he'd had a kicking earlier on that day and was trying to pass it on to someone else.
Seated on a Grand Jury, our favorite comment to anyone was "What's on your alleged mind?"
I was in local court for not having my license when I was stopped. I had misplaced it and couldn't find it. Judge took care of several cases. During this time it was noticeable that there was a bald child there with his dad. Dad is called before the judge for having his windows tinted a bit too dark. Dad says that they just got the van because they needed to .... lifts boy up.... deal with his cancer. It was obvious that the child was going through chemo and everyone, including the judge, thought it was a not a good idea to showcase his child like that. Instead of giving the man time to deal with the darkened windows, he fined him and charged court costs. Judge told me to apply for a replacement license and return. On return, case dismissed. It could have happened to the dad the same way.
