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Life is full of surprises, and nobody can guarantee you that these surprises will only be positive. There are nearly 8 billion folks on this planet, living with their own quirks and personalities, and chances are someone on your way will end up disappointing you. It's safe to say that one of the most crucial reasons why everything is, more or less, emotionally tiring is because we attach our happiness to others. 

We struggle to accept our importance, and we only pay attention to how we can satisfy everyone else around us. We put ourselves aside, forgetting that we're supposed to thrive and not survive – though, for most of us, this sort of epiphany comes with age when you finally understand that there's no more room for negativity. 

An online user wondered and took it to one of Reddit's communities to ask women to share their own versions of hard-to-swallow pills they've managed to learn over the years. The post received nearly 4K upvotes and 1.5K worth of emotional yet encouraging stories. 

More info: Reddit

#1

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group You can do everything right and still get f**ked. You can’t control that.

definitive-airwave , Nenad Stojkovic Report

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Claire Stanfield
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life." - Jean-Luc Picard

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#2

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group That no one cares. This sounds pessimistic but I really don’t mean it that way. When it comes to medical issues, boundaries with friends, or relationships, no one cares about you the way you do, and no one will advocate for you the way you can. You need to value yourself and take action as if no one else will, because in all likelihood, they won’t.

queensguardian1 , Brazucany.TV Report

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K Witmer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I tell my daughter this bc I want her to be prepared when I'm not here anymore. I will fight for her tooth and nail but I still don't know exactly what she's going through only she does and she needs to learn how to advocate for herself even if it means a raging angry fight.

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#3

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group Don’t assume people will treat you with the same kindness you treated them with.

motherofsmallones , Brian Evans Report

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Scagsy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True. Also, don't ever stop being kind to people. It's a win-win. They feel valued and you sleep better.

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#4

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group You can be every thing they want- and they will want something else.

grianmharduit , My United States of Whatever Report

#5

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group I am never going to be thin and that’s perfectly fine. Turns out it’s a lot easier to live your life when you’re not constantly consumed with hating your own body!

s**tforcompassion , Jamie Report

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Rijkærd
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Am skinny and have given up on trying to gain some weight/muscle mass...I just learned to love my body the way it is...

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MyOpinionHasBeenServed
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And don't wait for someone else to come along to love your body just so you can, too.

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Veronica Sjöberg
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES. I stopped working out and eating to be smaller a couple years ago. Now I work out to be strong/have fun and eat what I feel like (nope, not just crap - what I actually feel like with no restrictions). My whole world actually changed. No more brain fog, less irritated, less focused on food every single minute of the day, no more stress or anxiety with workouts etc. I started being able to laugh again too. I gained 2kg in the process and still am 2kgs heavier. All that over 2kgs... just follow your body - it's worth it! If you have to constantly struggle to keep your body the way it is it probably isn't what it's supposed to be.

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Jason Alexander
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

VERY well said. So much this. It's about doing healthy things for you and not for some ideal, I think some people in the comments missed this point. It's not about letting go and being unhealthy, but letting go and being the best most healthy you for YOU and not some ideal standard-'even if that best you is a size 14 and not a size 2.

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Mattewis88
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know how to do this. I wish I could. I used to be extremely athletic, competed at national level and one day, one accident destroyed my career and my ability to do any sort of exercise as my legs work for walking but are useless otherwise. Suddenly I can't even look at food and not pick up weight. I've taken down all mirrors below the neck in my house because I can't stand looking at myself. Most people ask about my physical healing when they see me but all the physical issues is nothing compared to the self-hate I'm experiencing.

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Eiram
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Step 1. Apologise to yourself! Step 2. Forgive your body. Step 3. Accept that you had something, and you still do, its just not the same. Step 4. Just do your best to be healthy, because you could always be worse. These are the steps I went through after my diagnosis. My body was NOT a fault, it just was, and that's ok.

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Trisha Howson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When ever you quite trying to be the perfect weight your life gets a lot happier and a lot better. Because of simple fact you have accept your self as you are

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Andrea Pereira
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just don't let it get out of control. After my mother died, I subscribed to that mentality, I stopped doing diets and just ate whatever I want. Also a bit of depression to help. Get 30kg heavier and also got diabetes. So no, there's no perfect heaven. Obesity is bad for your health and will charge it's cost more and more as you get older.

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Jason Alexander
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the point is not to just let yourself go and eat whatever, whenever and get to 500 pounds, but that you should just live life and be as healthy as possible without obsessing over perfection or shine ideal weight or "look" or size...

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*
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes it can be unhealthy though. If your fat because of unhealthy reasons, then that’s not a good thing. But if your are healthy in general, and are fat, then your perfectly fine. Same with being skinny. (I don’t really like using the word fat, but it’s kinda hard to say it in a way that doesn’t seem offensive.)

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once I hit 15-16, I started to fill out. By the time I was just about 20, I had changed from a skinny kid to a curvy woman (though not to the point of being a caricature like a Kardashian)—-and one with a curious brain and a wicked sense of humor to boot! But it was the eighties and everyone was x-ray thin, so my body type wasn’t in style. A size 8 in a size 0 world. Didn’t seem to matter, though. I never lacked for admirers.

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Samantha Melnychuk
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fat is something you have, not something you are. A person can have extra fat deposits, but that does not define who you are.

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Naima Major
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am thin. Not a goal! This universal assumption about women is a waste of time. Fat or skinny it really is the content of your character that matters the most.

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DeeDee Borick Burlington
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being yourself, loving yourself...is important on so many levels.. We are givien one body.. and that body is beautiful!

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Cynthia Price
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You would be beautiful if only".....I know I'm fat, you know I'm fat, but I'm the only one that can do anything about it, so let's work on keeping me healthy! And, beauty does not only apply to skinny people. I know some "beautiful" women who are rather UGLY people.

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Ivanka van der Reest
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's better to be healthy than it is to be skinny. I'm curvy myself and after having had Covid-19 I gained a lot of weight and struggled against Long COVID for about the last 14 months. Now I finally have more energy again and I have been putting in all effort to keep eating healthy, and now I actually have the strength to exercise again. I have been losing a lot of fat since without losing weight by the way, muscles weigh more than fat so with strengthening myself I see my body change for the better yet the scales don't show any difference. But just because I love the taste of broccoli and love the feeling of exercise, doesn't mean that I do it because I hate my own body. I do it because I love my body and I know that the more fit I am the more I can handle in life. I don't need to be skinny. I just need to feel healthy. And even before I got Covid-19 I never was bone skinny even though I love veggies and exercise.

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Grown woman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Preach,so true waste of time hating your own body lesson learned.

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Melissa Bussone
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You could be like me and have a thyroid condition. My autoimmune illness causes my body to attack my thyroid and other parts of my body too. People are always complaining I'm either too fat or too skinny! I've had to stop staring at my scale and focus on eating healthy and walking 10000 steps a day for exercise!

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Cami Brown
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thor taught me that you don't need visible abs to be worthy.

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Demi Zwaan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As long as you're not morbidly obese, you're fine the way you are!

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Aaron Cherniavsky
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can try to lose weight without "hating your body." Don't let yourself off the hook too easy ;)

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Timothy Gorden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Damn, saddens me how many of you just resigned. If you really want you can look exactly the way you want to don't give me that it's fine I am not immaculate s**t. I've been both very obese and extremely skinny and bony but after I committed myself to the gym day after day for years I'm getting more and more the way I actually WANT to look like not the way I HAVE to because I don't want to put in the work it requires. Accepting your flaws is giving up before even seriously trying

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RoseAnne Hutchence
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a difficult thing to learn, that: loving our body in the face of all the media imagery.

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Meagan Shupe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just remember that even if you aren't thin you still need to be healthy. Your loved ones would rather you not get type 2 diabetes or the many other health problems that come with being obese.

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Dana Penaherrera
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

once I stopped living to eat and I ate only to live things change for me I was overweight most of my life always told you're so pretty if you would just lose weight. I was a size 14 16 and I was considered fat by my school peers. I was treated like crap because of it. once I eliminated animal products from my diet I dropped to a size 4. it's not so much eating healthy it's what you choose to eat. those people who are diabetic and have high blood pressure can choose to change their lifestyle and be healthy and not have to live on insulin and supplements and not be so uncomfortable. my mother was morbidly obese and died because of it she was ashamed of herself and how she looked and refuse to go out in public. how sad to live like that I'd rather give up bacon and steaks and be able to able to walk around in public.

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Alana Voeks
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you eat total junk food, don't exercise, and are still skinny, you may want to get checked out. That could mean fat is building up on your organs, and that's much, MUCH worse than fat being built up on the outside, where it makes you visibly bigger.

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Jose Anuman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

By all means, eat two portions at every meal and then be angry at middle age diabetes for body shaming you. It's your life and obviously exciting your taste buds is more important than watching your grandkids grow.

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Liam Lowenthal
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because the only way you could ever possibly be fat is if you overeat. That's the only reason. Nothing else could possibly be the reason. God you people are f****** stupid.

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Tygalily
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not expecting perfection is not the same as not even trying to control yourself. Our country has an absolute epidemic of obesity that trickles down to all aspects of life from self esteem to plane rides to healthcare. I recently read that 70% of age eligible recruits could not pass the basic physical requirements to enter the military. That is a BIG problem. (Pun not intended but fitting) People should not put themselves under the pressure to be supermodels but allowing yourself to be fat isn't the answer either

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Eiram
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Allowing fat? Who allows it? Plus, physicals are failed for everything from badly healed bones and damaged tendons to poor kidney/liver funtions. All of which can be caused by energy drinks, exercise/sports and other "healthy" activities. Plus genetic related illnesses, and mental issues are also instant failures.

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Ashley Mccullough
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah plus there's just way too much yummy delicious food we delicious food treat and no way I'm gonna pass it up just to be skinny I'll take the curves in a little junk in the trunk so I can enjoy my food

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PsychicK
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I lost 176lbs and I disagree. Once you truly love your body; weight falls off, but you have already affirmed to your body that you can't lose weight. Mistake #1. You can absolutely be thin if you so wish. The power to do so or not exists solely in your own mind. 🥰

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Brandon
Community Member
2 years ago

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Yeah, but at the same time, expect to only live to 45.

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Eiram
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, I know. So many people drop dead at 45 because they are overweight. I must have seen dozens of people who turned 45 die like this. Just walking and keel over. They should have known better. Really! How dare they!

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#6

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group The world isn't fair and sometimes people just suck.

Shallow-ishPuddle , Gareth Williams Report

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Kalmar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And sometimes there’s nothing you can do but keep plowing along

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#7

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group You can do everything right in college and have honors, connections, and experience, and still not find a career when you graduate

everythinglatte , Jacob Roeland Report

#8

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group If a man is pushy about small things he will probably be pushy in other ways too.

SnooTigers6225 , Marco FrontSoldier Report

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Anaïs Grobin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish this was talked about more. I've been married to a "pushy" guy for 20 years. The implication in this post is that it veers towards sexual or physical abuse, but it doesn't always. My husband is neither, but his pushiness has destroyed parts of our life that we can never fully repair. Pushy people aren't all motivated by the same things, but the end result will be horrifying regardless, if unchecked. Rule #1 in life, set clear boundaries. Rule #2, maintain those boundaries at all costs.

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#9

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group Not everyone who comes into your life is meant to stay. Regardless of how much it hurts, sometimes you just have to let people go.

Imperfect-Magic , Quinn Dombrowski Report

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Dani Alexander
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“That’s life And as funny as it may seem Some people get their kicks Stomping on a dream But I don't let it, let it get me down Cause this fine old world, it keeps spinnin' around” -Frank Sinatra

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#10

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group That sometimes you can be the toxic one, even if you have the best intentions. Accountability is important

lioness-2208 , SNappa2006 Report

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May
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So many toxic people in so called romantic films and books, I hope the examples set will get better over time

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#11

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group Your parents are people too with their own issues.

underscorehey , stanze Report

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HarriMissesScotland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parent's issues were each other. One night when I was 15, they got into a huge fight. I had had enough of this in my life. I got up, took my mother's car and left. I came back the next morning to get some clothes, and my mom shows up. I told her I was leaving and would not come back until they divorced, and I didn't. She gave me $200 and the car to use. I left town, and they divorced. We were all happier. Parents should never stay together " for the kids." All you end up with is mentally disabled children. I speak from experience.

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#12

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group That misogyny is so deeply ingrained in most cultures that most people don't recognize it when they look it in the eyes.

And that women, acting from internalized misogyny, can be as dangerous to you in non-sexual ways as men.

pucemoon , Mike Maguire Report

#13

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group That there is often little to no correlation between effort and outcome. I've been successful at some things with little effort and a lot of luck. I've poured my entire soul into other things and still utterly failed.

ultimate_ampersand , pennino Report

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Dani Alexander
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just because you’re not good at something you love, doesn’t mean you should stop doing it ❤️ you don’t have to be a master at everything you do, if ur a bad singer, sing your heart out, if you’re a bad drawer, draw everyday:) be kind to yourself, you deserve it

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#14

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group There’s going to come a point where the right thing to do won’t feel good at all. There are some things in life that you have to do, and they will break you down and hurt more than anything. But they’re still the right thing. And you will have to live with that.

fill_the_birdfeeder , Sascha Kohlmann Report

#15

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group Your parents don’t actually always know or want what’s best for you, sometimes it is what’s best for them and/or the society they lived in.

DisneyUp , Joe Shlabotnik Report

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#16

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group After about the age of 25 I realized I had to work to stay healthy - physically and otherwise. Did not see that coming and it felt really unfair at first, then I realized that if that's my bar for unfair then I've had a pretty f**king good life so far and I should count my blessings and go run.

thewhitewallisblue , Nenad Stojkovic Report

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K Witmer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a runner and it gets harder every year to keep going. Got a peloton to see if that's easier. It's not. Exercise and watching your calorie intake is the only thing that keeps you feeling good at every age. You will still go through middle age and gain weight and have pain and have some issues w your health but taking care of yourself is all you really have that helps ease aging

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#17

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group I overthink too much. Don't overthink everything or you will make yourself miserable.

Ian Sane , Ian Sane Report

#18

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group Depression doesn't go away.

nosiriamadreamer , Nenad Stojkovic Report

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May
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It does sometimes. I was severely depressed for years in my early twenties, it gradually got better (meds and therapy) and I haven't had a trace of it for the last ten years. It doesn't go away on it's own, but it can go away

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#19

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group People still dont owe you anything even if you're willing to risk your life for them. It's still their decision if they're gonna lift a finger for you and you shouldn't feel entitled for anyone's time and attention.

adobocute , jeanbaptisteparis Report

#20

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group Financial freedom is the only freedom

The-Clumsy-Pirate , David Baron Report

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K Witmer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's truly the only way you can be independent and not have to rely on anyone

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#21

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group Very few people care about you. Like at all. Even most of your acquaintances and relatives; often even so-called friends.

Exceptions exist for a select small group of "special" people.

VeronicaMarsupial , Ricardo Moraleida Report

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Dani Alexander
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It always baffles me at how much love and respect I feel for friends or distant family, and how little I get back. It hurts me to know that they don’t care about me like I care about them and it confuses me, like am I a bad person? Is that why they don’t return my respect. You would think it’s just common courtesy

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#22

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group People will think the worst of you no matter how good you try to be.

hopkins_notakpopper , TheOneShot Report

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Stew
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's just me. My parents and teachers both do not understand me enough. My mum does not try to understand me and bit. No matter what I do mom is only able to see the bad in it. But I'm okay. I hope.

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#23

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group You can wait until circumstance motivates you out of your bad habits, but banking on future motivation risks you wasting most of your life.

coconutfi , Rennett Stowe Report

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Dani Alexander
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can count on both, just don’t let yourself wait too long to get motivation.

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#24

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group That seeing someone's potential means nothing unless they try to fulfill it on their own

ScorpioWaterSign , Mike Burns Report

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MyOpinionHasBeenServed
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, and just because someone is good at something doesnt' mean they have an interest in pursuing a career out of it or will do anything for you for free. If you really value someone's craft, then put value in it in return by paying them.

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#25

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group That the only person who’s gonna take care of me, is me.

msha7 , Andrew Kuchling Report

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Zophra
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh I don't know... I think I get on my husband's case about health issues far, far more than he would if he was alone.

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#26

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group If they like you, you won’t be confused

Persiope , freestocks.org Report

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Bob D. Lin Quint
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm always confused. Throwing another human in the mix doesn't make my brain work

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#27

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group Only you can be the hero you needed as a kid.

Sanaria21 , Giovanni Report

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ChimeraBubbles
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ooh, it's called reparenting in some therapy models. Learning to talk to yourself in a nurturing parent voice and learning to advocate for yourself is hard but worth it.

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#28

30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group "You let them treat you that way."

-My therapist on the takers in my life of giving endlessly.

ThankGrace , arda Report

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HarriMissesScotland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And we do. For whatever reason, we go above and beyond to help. Over and over again. I finally had to delete a couple of people from my life, literally. It's hard, but I am better for it.

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