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30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group
Life is full of surprises, and nobody can guarantee you that these surprises will only be positive. There are nearly 8 billion folks on this planet, living with their own quirks and personalities, and chances are someone on your way will end up disappointing you. It's safe to say that one of the most crucial reasons why everything is, more or less, emotionally tiring is because we attach our happiness to others.
We struggle to accept our importance, and we only pay attention to how we can satisfy everyone else around us. We put ourselves aside, forgetting that we're supposed to thrive and not survive – though, for most of us, this sort of epiphany comes with age when you finally understand that there's no more room for negativity.
An online user wondered and took it to one of Reddit's communities to ask women to share their own versions of hard-to-swallow pills they've managed to learn over the years. The post received nearly 4K upvotes and 1.5K worth of emotional yet encouraging stories.
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You can do everything right and still get f**ked. You can’t control that.
"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life." - Jean-Luc Picard
That no one cares. This sounds pessimistic but I really don’t mean it that way. When it comes to medical issues, boundaries with friends, or relationships, no one cares about you the way you do, and no one will advocate for you the way you can. You need to value yourself and take action as if no one else will, because in all likelihood, they won’t.
I tell my daughter this bc I want her to be prepared when I'm not here anymore. I will fight for her tooth and nail but I still don't know exactly what she's going through only she does and she needs to learn how to advocate for herself even if it means a raging angry fight.
Don’t assume people will treat you with the same kindness you treated them with.
You can be every thing they want- and they will want something else.
I am never going to be thin and that’s perfectly fine. Turns out it’s a lot easier to live your life when you’re not constantly consumed with hating your own body!
Am skinny and have given up on trying to gain some weight/muscle mass...I just learned to love my body the way it is...
And don't wait for someone else to come along to love your body just so you can, too.
YES. I stopped working out and eating to be smaller a couple years ago. Now I work out to be strong/have fun and eat what I feel like (nope, not just crap - what I actually feel like with no restrictions). My whole world actually changed. No more brain fog, less irritated, less focused on food every single minute of the day, no more stress or anxiety with workouts etc. I started being able to laugh again too. I gained 2kg in the process and still am 2kgs heavier. All that over 2kgs... just follow your body - it's worth it! If you have to constantly struggle to keep your body the way it is it probably isn't what it's supposed to be.
VERY well said. So much this. It's about doing healthy things for you and not for some ideal, I think some people in the comments missed this point. It's not about letting go and being unhealthy, but letting go and being the best most healthy you for YOU and not some ideal standard-'even if that best you is a size 14 and not a size 2.
Load More Replies...I don't know how to do this. I wish I could. I used to be extremely athletic, competed at national level and one day, one accident destroyed my career and my ability to do any sort of exercise as my legs work for walking but are useless otherwise. Suddenly I can't even look at food and not pick up weight. I've taken down all mirrors below the neck in my house because I can't stand looking at myself. Most people ask about my physical healing when they see me but all the physical issues is nothing compared to the self-hate I'm experiencing.
Step 1. Apologise to yourself! Step 2. Forgive your body. Step 3. Accept that you had something, and you still do, its just not the same. Step 4. Just do your best to be healthy, because you could always be worse. These are the steps I went through after my diagnosis. My body was NOT a fault, it just was, and that's ok.
Load More Replies...When ever you quite trying to be the perfect weight your life gets a lot happier and a lot better. Because of simple fact you have accept your self as you are
Just don't let it get out of control. After my mother died, I subscribed to that mentality, I stopped doing diets and just ate whatever I want. Also a bit of depression to help. Get 30kg heavier and also got diabetes. So no, there's no perfect heaven. Obesity is bad for your health and will charge it's cost more and more as you get older.
I think the point is not to just let yourself go and eat whatever, whenever and get to 500 pounds, but that you should just live life and be as healthy as possible without obsessing over perfection or shine ideal weight or "look" or size...
Load More Replies...Sometimes it can be unhealthy though. If your fat because of unhealthy reasons, then that’s not a good thing. But if your are healthy in general, and are fat, then your perfectly fine. Same with being skinny. (I don’t really like using the word fat, but it’s kinda hard to say it in a way that doesn’t seem offensive.)
Once I hit 15-16, I started to fill out. By the time I was just about 20, I had changed from a skinny kid to a curvy woman (though not to the point of being a caricature like a Kardashian)—-and one with a curious brain and a wicked sense of humor to boot! But it was the eighties and everyone was x-ray thin, so my body type wasn’t in style. A size 8 in a size 0 world. Didn’t seem to matter, though. I never lacked for admirers.
Fat is something you have, not something you are. A person can have extra fat deposits, but that does not define who you are.
I am thin. Not a goal! This universal assumption about women is a waste of time. Fat or skinny it really is the content of your character that matters the most.
Being yourself, loving yourself...is important on so many levels.. We are givien one body.. and that body is beautiful!
"You would be beautiful if only".....I know I'm fat, you know I'm fat, but I'm the only one that can do anything about it, so let's work on keeping me healthy! And, beauty does not only apply to skinny people. I know some "beautiful" women who are rather UGLY people.
It's better to be healthy than it is to be skinny. I'm curvy myself and after having had Covid-19 I gained a lot of weight and struggled against Long COVID for about the last 14 months. Now I finally have more energy again and I have been putting in all effort to keep eating healthy, and now I actually have the strength to exercise again. I have been losing a lot of fat since without losing weight by the way, muscles weigh more than fat so with strengthening myself I see my body change for the better yet the scales don't show any difference. But just because I love the taste of broccoli and love the feeling of exercise, doesn't mean that I do it because I hate my own body. I do it because I love my body and I know that the more fit I am the more I can handle in life. I don't need to be skinny. I just need to feel healthy. And even before I got Covid-19 I never was bone skinny even though I love veggies and exercise.
You could be like me and have a thyroid condition. My autoimmune illness causes my body to attack my thyroid and other parts of my body too. People are always complaining I'm either too fat or too skinny! I've had to stop staring at my scale and focus on eating healthy and walking 10000 steps a day for exercise!
You can try to lose weight without "hating your body." Don't let yourself off the hook too easy ;)
Damn, saddens me how many of you just resigned. If you really want you can look exactly the way you want to don't give me that it's fine I am not immaculate s**t. I've been both very obese and extremely skinny and bony but after I committed myself to the gym day after day for years I'm getting more and more the way I actually WANT to look like not the way I HAVE to because I don't want to put in the work it requires. Accepting your flaws is giving up before even seriously trying
It's a difficult thing to learn, that: loving our body in the face of all the media imagery.
Just remember that even if you aren't thin you still need to be healthy. Your loved ones would rather you not get type 2 diabetes or the many other health problems that come with being obese.
once I stopped living to eat and I ate only to live things change for me I was overweight most of my life always told you're so pretty if you would just lose weight. I was a size 14 16 and I was considered fat by my school peers. I was treated like crap because of it. once I eliminated animal products from my diet I dropped to a size 4. it's not so much eating healthy it's what you choose to eat. those people who are diabetic and have high blood pressure can choose to change their lifestyle and be healthy and not have to live on insulin and supplements and not be so uncomfortable. my mother was morbidly obese and died because of it she was ashamed of herself and how she looked and refuse to go out in public. how sad to live like that I'd rather give up bacon and steaks and be able to able to walk around in public.
If you eat total junk food, don't exercise, and are still skinny, you may want to get checked out. That could mean fat is building up on your organs, and that's much, MUCH worse than fat being built up on the outside, where it makes you visibly bigger.
By all means, eat two portions at every meal and then be angry at middle age diabetes for body shaming you. It's your life and obviously exciting your taste buds is more important than watching your grandkids grow.
Because the only way you could ever possibly be fat is if you overeat. That's the only reason. Nothing else could possibly be the reason. God you people are f****** stupid.
Load More Replies...Not expecting perfection is not the same as not even trying to control yourself. Our country has an absolute epidemic of obesity that trickles down to all aspects of life from self esteem to plane rides to healthcare. I recently read that 70% of age eligible recruits could not pass the basic physical requirements to enter the military. That is a BIG problem. (Pun not intended but fitting) People should not put themselves under the pressure to be supermodels but allowing yourself to be fat isn't the answer either
Allowing fat? Who allows it? Plus, physicals are failed for everything from badly healed bones and damaged tendons to poor kidney/liver funtions. All of which can be caused by energy drinks, exercise/sports and other "healthy" activities. Plus genetic related illnesses, and mental issues are also instant failures.
Load More Replies...Yeah plus there's just way too much yummy delicious food we delicious food treat and no way I'm gonna pass it up just to be skinny I'll take the curves in a little junk in the trunk so I can enjoy my food
I lost 176lbs and I disagree. Once you truly love your body; weight falls off, but you have already affirmed to your body that you can't lose weight. Mistake #1. You can absolutely be thin if you so wish. The power to do so or not exists solely in your own mind. 🥰
Yeah, I know. So many people drop dead at 45 because they are overweight. I must have seen dozens of people who turned 45 die like this. Just walking and keel over. They should have known better. Really! How dare they!
Load More Replies...You can do everything right in college and have honors, connections, and experience, and still not find a career when you graduate
If a man is pushy about small things he will probably be pushy in other ways too.
I wish this was talked about more. I've been married to a "pushy" guy for 20 years. The implication in this post is that it veers towards sexual or physical abuse, but it doesn't always. My husband is neither, but his pushiness has destroyed parts of our life that we can never fully repair. Pushy people aren't all motivated by the same things, but the end result will be horrifying regardless, if unchecked. Rule #1 in life, set clear boundaries. Rule #2, maintain those boundaries at all costs.
Not everyone who comes into your life is meant to stay. Regardless of how much it hurts, sometimes you just have to let people go.
“That’s life And as funny as it may seem Some people get their kicks Stomping on a dream But I don't let it, let it get me down Cause this fine old world, it keeps spinnin' around” -Frank Sinatra
That sometimes you can be the toxic one, even if you have the best intentions. Accountability is important
Your parents are people too with their own issues.
My parent's issues were each other. One night when I was 15, they got into a huge fight. I had had enough of this in my life. I got up, took my mother's car and left. I came back the next morning to get some clothes, and my mom shows up. I told her I was leaving and would not come back until they divorced, and I didn't. She gave me $200 and the car to use. I left town, and they divorced. We were all happier. Parents should never stay together " for the kids." All you end up with is mentally disabled children. I speak from experience.
That misogyny is so deeply ingrained in most cultures that most people don't recognize it when they look it in the eyes.
And that women, acting from internalized misogyny, can be as dangerous to you in non-sexual ways as men.
That there is often little to no correlation between effort and outcome. I've been successful at some things with little effort and a lot of luck. I've poured my entire soul into other things and still utterly failed.
Just because you’re not good at something you love, doesn’t mean you should stop doing it ❤️ you don’t have to be a master at everything you do, if ur a bad singer, sing your heart out, if you’re a bad drawer, draw everyday:) be kind to yourself, you deserve it
There’s going to come a point where the right thing to do won’t feel good at all. There are some things in life that you have to do, and they will break you down and hurt more than anything. But they’re still the right thing. And you will have to live with that.
Your parents don’t actually always know or want what’s best for you, sometimes it is what’s best for them and/or the society they lived in.
After about the age of 25 I realized I had to work to stay healthy - physically and otherwise. Did not see that coming and it felt really unfair at first, then I realized that if that's my bar for unfair then I've had a pretty f**king good life so far and I should count my blessings and go run.
I'm a runner and it gets harder every year to keep going. Got a peloton to see if that's easier. It's not. Exercise and watching your calorie intake is the only thing that keeps you feeling good at every age. You will still go through middle age and gain weight and have pain and have some issues w your health but taking care of yourself is all you really have that helps ease aging
I overthink too much. Don't overthink everything or you will make yourself miserable.
People still dont owe you anything even if you're willing to risk your life for them. It's still their decision if they're gonna lift a finger for you and you shouldn't feel entitled for anyone's time and attention.
Very few people care about you. Like at all. Even most of your acquaintances and relatives; often even so-called friends.
Exceptions exist for a select small group of "special" people.
It always baffles me at how much love and respect I feel for friends or distant family, and how little I get back. It hurts me to know that they don’t care about me like I care about them and it confuses me, like am I a bad person? Is that why they don’t return my respect. You would think it’s just common courtesy
People will think the worst of you no matter how good you try to be.
You can wait until circumstance motivates you out of your bad habits, but banking on future motivation risks you wasting most of your life.
You can count on both, just don’t let yourself wait too long to get motivation.
That seeing someone's potential means nothing unless they try to fulfill it on their own
Yeah, and just because someone is good at something doesnt' mean they have an interest in pursuing a career out of it or will do anything for you for free. If you really value someone's craft, then put value in it in return by paying them.
That the only person who’s gonna take care of me, is me.
If they like you, you won’t be confused
I'm always confused. Throwing another human in the mix doesn't make my brain work
Only you can be the hero you needed as a kid.
Ooh, it's called reparenting in some therapy models. Learning to talk to yourself in a nurturing parent voice and learning to advocate for yourself is hard but worth it.
"You let them treat you that way."
-My therapist on the takers in my life of giving endlessly.
And we do. For whatever reason, we go above and beyond to help. Over and over again. I finally had to delete a couple of people from my life, literally. It's hard, but I am better for it.
Looks do matter. To be successful, you need to put effort in your appearance to get the proper respect you deserve. Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg may be able to get away with wearing the same shirt and jeans but if you do it, no one will take you seriously
Be clean and do your job. Nobody notices you as much as you notice yourself.
He's just not into you
Note: this post originally had 36 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
So many 'You can only trust yourself' type of posts. I find it a little sad (in a non-condescending way).
We are social creatures. We need to trust others. So these are just negative views. Instead of being narcissistic jerks we need to be loving and understanding. Yes people have bad days but as a whole we shouldn't be doing things that hurt others. This "me first" mentality is destroying humanity. Continue being kind, hold the door for someone, smile and cut out the sarcasm the world will be better for it.
Load More Replies...You can get used to anything. Don't get used to the thing that makes you complacent.
I had a friend, she was chilling with another person, starting a relationship. One day her buddy came home from work and told my friend that if she was going to use her things, she needed to put them back the way she found them. My friend was upset and hurt. I spent almost a week validating her feelings <——key word.. When the time was right I asked her…”do you want to know how I perceive this issue, having not dog in the fight”, she said yes. I told her she was 100% in the wrong and why, and asked her to put herself in her buddy’s position. She stared at me wide eyed, picked up the phone to immediately start to apologize to her buddy. Some people need those feelings validated and expressed before they can see or accept reality. That’s okay, it was her process. Not good, not bad, not right, not wrong. The process just is, it’s what you do with the knowledge you gain that matters. Some of us can do better, some are doing all they can, some don’t give a s**t.
Some of these are mildly subjective I think. EDIT: lol VERY subjective
You can't make someone love you more by trying to make them love someone else less.
This is a real pessimistic way of looking at life and people. We need to trust others, love one another, dare to be loved and hurt by others (Because this is how we learn)and most of all dream big! Life's to big for this negative pessimistic point of view.
Learn to say "No", professionally and socially. People want your time, money, or emotions. While helping can be what makes you happy, sometimes it's what drains you.
People need to learn they can't change others. They are entitled to their own opinions and to be who they want. You can only change your own actions to become the best person you can. Once we all figure that out, we'll all be in a better place.
I love how it blames men mostly.. How about you guys tell little girls stop being wh#$- or stop idolizing musical woman who are half naked always.. Stop thinking only fans makes you independent.. No showing your body just because it's yours doesn't make it right.. It's no feminism it's stupidity.. Stop blaming men and start looking in the mirror.. sad to see these post... They always blame some race or gender ands it pathetic
Oh. This hit a nerve ehh? Guilty conscience? Been accused of being an ass much? Wondering why women don't like you?
Load More Replies...You are not good thru and thru, and neither are you totally evil. Everyone has both good and bad sides. The trick is to work to strengthen your good sides and make the bad sides smaller.
These people should move to republican land. None of that bad stuff happens in republican land.
These people should move to republican land, none of that bad stuff happens in republican land.
This could have been an article to people, not just women. #31, people will try to divide you into tribes to increase their control over you.
Life wouldn't be that difficult if you ladies would just accept the facts women belong in the home, behind the kitchen. Raising the children and instilling core values and morals. This is a man's world. And you lack the strength to change that. Why did we change what was working for hundreds of years. Capitalism happened. A cheaper work force, means more profits for big businesses. Corporate Capitalist Pigs. Women had a moment, but they squandered that chance. Now it time to rein that s**t in!
if you read all of these and feel like garbage afterwards, you might just not be one of those people who experience these issues every day. we need to accept that people aren’t always going to be there for us and that our issues aren’t going to disappear bc we had a good day. these will lead to more healing than you want to believe. ik i sure need to hear it from time to time. reminds me that i can’t expect the world to heal bc i want it to. i can only do what i can do and that’s okay.
So of this blend in together, or just a tad ignorant, all of this applies to all sexes to not just women. Still fun read on what average people think. =:3
It's not that other people suck. It's just that you can't change anyone but yourself. If you need a situation you're in to change, you need to change yourself. Because you are the only one that you CAN change.
The idea that, "There is someone for everyone", is a load of crap. I'm a nice and decent human being with my sh°t together. I don't brag about it, feel entitled, or think I'm owed anything. It's just who I am. Yet, I've been alone most of my life. Women are not attracted to me, even though I'm average looking. I just can't understand why the a**holes of the world are the ones who end up in relationships, and are the ones who women are attracted to. No wonder why some women think that all men are jerks.
So many 'You can only trust yourself' type of posts. I find it a little sad (in a non-condescending way).
We are social creatures. We need to trust others. So these are just negative views. Instead of being narcissistic jerks we need to be loving and understanding. Yes people have bad days but as a whole we shouldn't be doing things that hurt others. This "me first" mentality is destroying humanity. Continue being kind, hold the door for someone, smile and cut out the sarcasm the world will be better for it.
Load More Replies...You can get used to anything. Don't get used to the thing that makes you complacent.
I had a friend, she was chilling with another person, starting a relationship. One day her buddy came home from work and told my friend that if she was going to use her things, she needed to put them back the way she found them. My friend was upset and hurt. I spent almost a week validating her feelings <——key word.. When the time was right I asked her…”do you want to know how I perceive this issue, having not dog in the fight”, she said yes. I told her she was 100% in the wrong and why, and asked her to put herself in her buddy’s position. She stared at me wide eyed, picked up the phone to immediately start to apologize to her buddy. Some people need those feelings validated and expressed before they can see or accept reality. That’s okay, it was her process. Not good, not bad, not right, not wrong. The process just is, it’s what you do with the knowledge you gain that matters. Some of us can do better, some are doing all they can, some don’t give a s**t.
Some of these are mildly subjective I think. EDIT: lol VERY subjective
You can't make someone love you more by trying to make them love someone else less.
This is a real pessimistic way of looking at life and people. We need to trust others, love one another, dare to be loved and hurt by others (Because this is how we learn)and most of all dream big! Life's to big for this negative pessimistic point of view.
Learn to say "No", professionally and socially. People want your time, money, or emotions. While helping can be what makes you happy, sometimes it's what drains you.
People need to learn they can't change others. They are entitled to their own opinions and to be who they want. You can only change your own actions to become the best person you can. Once we all figure that out, we'll all be in a better place.
I love how it blames men mostly.. How about you guys tell little girls stop being wh#$- or stop idolizing musical woman who are half naked always.. Stop thinking only fans makes you independent.. No showing your body just because it's yours doesn't make it right.. It's no feminism it's stupidity.. Stop blaming men and start looking in the mirror.. sad to see these post... They always blame some race or gender ands it pathetic
Oh. This hit a nerve ehh? Guilty conscience? Been accused of being an ass much? Wondering why women don't like you?
Load More Replies...You are not good thru and thru, and neither are you totally evil. Everyone has both good and bad sides. The trick is to work to strengthen your good sides and make the bad sides smaller.
These people should move to republican land. None of that bad stuff happens in republican land.
These people should move to republican land, none of that bad stuff happens in republican land.
This could have been an article to people, not just women. #31, people will try to divide you into tribes to increase their control over you.
Life wouldn't be that difficult if you ladies would just accept the facts women belong in the home, behind the kitchen. Raising the children and instilling core values and morals. This is a man's world. And you lack the strength to change that. Why did we change what was working for hundreds of years. Capitalism happened. A cheaper work force, means more profits for big businesses. Corporate Capitalist Pigs. Women had a moment, but they squandered that chance. Now it time to rein that s**t in!
if you read all of these and feel like garbage afterwards, you might just not be one of those people who experience these issues every day. we need to accept that people aren’t always going to be there for us and that our issues aren’t going to disappear bc we had a good day. these will lead to more healing than you want to believe. ik i sure need to hear it from time to time. reminds me that i can’t expect the world to heal bc i want it to. i can only do what i can do and that’s okay.
So of this blend in together, or just a tad ignorant, all of this applies to all sexes to not just women. Still fun read on what average people think. =:3
It's not that other people suck. It's just that you can't change anyone but yourself. If you need a situation you're in to change, you need to change yourself. Because you are the only one that you CAN change.
The idea that, "There is someone for everyone", is a load of crap. I'm a nice and decent human being with my sh°t together. I don't brag about it, feel entitled, or think I'm owed anything. It's just who I am. Yet, I've been alone most of my life. Women are not attracted to me, even though I'm average looking. I just can't understand why the a**holes of the world are the ones who end up in relationships, and are the ones who women are attracted to. No wonder why some women think that all men are jerks.