People Would Have Preferred To Know These 30 Life Lessons Sooner, As Shared In This Online Group
It’s nicer to learn from others’ mistakes because you don’t need to go through that unpleasant or traumatic experience yourself to realize that you need to make a different decision or act in a different way.
Even though it is safe to say that the most valuable and memorable lessons are the ones that you go through yourself, it doesn’t hurt to listen to what advice more experienced people can give, especially if it is not that obvious and can prevent serious consequences in the future. That’s why Reddit user oigoabuya asked the internet “What are the lessons you learnt too late in life?” to which people replied with some valuable knowledge.
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Just because you're blood related to someone, doesn't mean that you owe them anything. Toxic people are toxic people and you are not required to give them a single ounce of your attention if they are hurting you.
Family is like an appendix - you only have one, but when it becomes toxic, you cut it off for the sake of your health.
Never put your education/ job / plans etc on hold for a boyfriend / girlfriend especially while in college, especially when you’re 19.
When I was 19 my brother was in university in England. I had never been to Europe (I live in CA) he offered me a free place to stay and wanted me to come out and travel all over Europe with him and his friends. My boyfriend at the time said he'd break up with me if I went, so I didn't go. Looking back, him leaving me over that would be reason enough to have gone.
Listen to your gut instinct. If something feels off about a person or situation, there’s a reason. Believe it the first time and walk away
This is sound advice. You don't have to justify it, either... the fact that you are uncomfortable is reason enough to go
Happiness is enjoying the things you have, not the things to come.
Sometimes you can do everything right and still fail.
They say success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm 🙃
That saying NO can save you a lot of trouble down the line.
I think, oddly, the lesson I learned is that there is no such thing as 'too late in life' - at 26, I was homeless, out of rehab, and broke. Things have changed dramatically for the better.
Look after your knees and your teeth.
Brush at night to keep your teeth and brush in the morning to keep your friends!
You shouldn’t care what your high school experience was good or bad or what your classmates think of you because who cares about high school after 18?
If high school was your peak you have a sh**ty life ahead
I can barely remember my university... what an old headless roach I have become 😏
That a death in the family brings out the worst in people.
My dad died last year. My mother is still lying to people and saying my dad is still alive. She refused to even tell his brother and sister that he died. It isn’t a mental issue on her part - she’s just a mean, narcissistic a-hole who likes soaking up the pity points she gets for “caring for a disabled husband”.
That you can't please everyone so you shouldn't worry about trying to
I can only please one person per day. Today's not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either.
Don't bring things home from work.
I had a bad day at work. Came home and got in an argument with my gf about something...and stopped halfway. Yes, she really had done something, but the only reason I got so angry about it was because...I had already been angry, from work. Otherwise i might have just let it go.
From then on I learned to separate work from home. I was 28. I felt like this was a lesson I should have learned earlier.
Your boss is NOT looking out for YOUR best interests. He is looking out for HIS best interests.
Corporate has no loyalty to you. You are just a replaceable cog.
Nice guys rarely get promoted. They just get more responsibility. Semi-aggressive advancement planning and prioritizing the advancement tasks over items specified in job description is about the only way to advance salary faster than what is paid to new hires. Even then jumping ship is usually the best way to advance salary and get more responsibility.
Always make sure you get yourself into a position where you know more than anyone else does in the organisation or are not easy to replace ; then play mind games with your immediate superiors. Hints about leaving are good, leaving an unfinished CV on your desk is better. Words in ears are even better .....
You shouldn’t try doing a backflip for the first time when you’re drunk.
There is much more to the story that taught this wisdom that I would love to hear
I know this sounds wrong but hear me out. DONT do what you love for a living, unless it pays well. Research your career path before choosing one and prioritize potential earnings and time off. Do what gets you the most money and benefits with the least amount of time invested. Do what you love in your free time, making it your career can ultimately make you resent it and lose your enthusiasm for the hobby you love most. Almost every job becomes a mundane chore if you do it every day, no matter how much you enjoy it now. I know it’s anecdotal, but, I always loved wrenching on cars. I started tinkering long before I could drive. I’m damn good at it and made a career out of it. The problem is, doing it every day has made me lose interest in doing it for fun. I don’t have cool projects anymore. I see cars as basic transportation now and have no interest in building/modifying anything. The pay isn’t terrible, but it isn’t great either. If I could do it again I’d have kept it as a hobby and gone into a field that is boring but pays for REAL life outside of work. Ultimately work is a means to an end for most people and all of the high minded ideals of “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” stuff is b******t. Get that money, retire as soon as you can, and live life to the fullest while you can.
So true. If you turn what you love to do for fun into something you have to do to survive, it quickly becomes no fun to do anymore.
People aren't thinking about you even a fraction of the amount you think they're thinking about you.
You're noise in a lifetime of experiences and a busy mind. This is a good thing. It means you can just get what you need from people and not over think it, safe in the knowledge that they'll forget you almost immediately.
So did I and I realised my daughter was starting to, possibly due to me and my anxiety. So I decided I can;t let that happen. So although I'm incredibly socially anxious, we will jump in puddles in the middle of town. I'll tickle her in the middle of a crowded station. put on a crazy outfit while shopping. Anything to show that it doesnt matter what we do or who is looking. Being "us" is what matters. It's a sort of aversion therapy. It has worked for both of us.
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yes!! i hate when people think they are my top priority and that i’m thinking about them and their needs 24/7. calm down people!
spotlight effect. Another of the myriad ways our brains have evolved to torment us.
Took me a while to drill this one in for myself. Really helped when I started thinking of it the other way around, how much do I think about other people?
Therefore it isn't important what people think about you. Like when they gossip or lie about you. Don't worry. The ones that know you; well ... they know (better). The ones that don't know you: they don't care.
In the rare moments I’ve given an ounce of worrisome consideration to what people think of me, I remind myself their opinion of me is none of my business. And it goes both ways: if I’m hopeful someone thinks highly of me or if I’m purposefully trying to keep them at bay. I show them who I am through words and actions and they can do as they wish with that.
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People don't like to hear this, but being constantly convinced that everyone is thinking bad things about you comes from the same source as people who think everyone thinks that they are amazing: the ego. It's self-involvement either way. The truth is that everyone else is a fully-formed human being with an internal world that is just as complex as yours, maybe more so in some cases. They barely notice you.
You are the star on your own stage but a background player in everyone else’s
"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about." - Oscar Wilde
Depends on the person. I always know my bf thinks of what I can offer him all day because of how often he messages me. Usually asking me if I know something or can give him advice or to vent. Yup. People don't really think of other people. They think of what they can get out of them. Sorta of a dystopian, sobering reality we refuse to believe and make up fantasies of how much we care about the person as a person and not what they bring to the table. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it's a truth that's always denied. Open for discussion, please.
You're talking about someone close to you, though. This is more about the hundreds of people you meet or interact with daily. You exist for those people only when you're in their eyeline, and then stop existing the second you leave it, unless you managed to make a very big impression on them somehow. Like, there's a guy in my hometown who likes to go on daily walks with his parrot, cat and goat, and even though I've only witnessed it once, he still pops into my head once a year for 30 seconds - 1 minute.
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that's different. your brother is someone you care about a lot, of course you think about him often. this post is about how anxiety can make people feel like everyone is staring at them but in reality nobody will remember them or their flaws in 5 minutes so it's fine to go buy a coffee even if you think you're having a bad hair day.
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I don't think anyone thinks about me at all, so I don't have that problem
1) Soul mates aren't a thing. 2) Learn to fight in a relationship without raising your voice and keep a check on your emotions, it's you and your SO against the problem not you against them.
Whem me and my gf moved together, i was not used to being yelled at, and she was used to yell during arguments from home. My brain made some kind of shut off, and made me think, this is to noisy, i go away from the noise. She got pissed but with time we found common ground, talking in normal volume about problems, and i didnt walk away.
We all make mistakes, dont dwell on it
Don't dwell on it, certainly, but learn from it and find out how you can do better next time.
If you made mistakes, always confront them and the consequences right away. Waiting doesn't make it better, it makes it worse.
True just get it over and done with. Bottling something inside you just adds to the guilt.
Budget save and invest
Boring af but makes a huge difference
You can lose a finger wearing a ring.
And that's why I don't wear a ring. I do industrial maintenance and could very easily lose a finger or worse. My wife would prefer to have me fully functional. She knows I'm not going anywhere, ring or no ring.
1) You are not obliged to love your parents. This is a hard one but some parental behaviours get toxic and you can't possibly keep them happy constantly
2) You are not obliged to constantly help out / listen to people especially when they take too much help / vent to you too much. Let people make mistakes. Let them learn
3) Just because you did well in primary school doesn't mean everything will come to you automatically in life; learn to put real effort into your work
4) A lot of people you meet will be cold, cruel and selfish. You will get used. Life is a constant struggle to avoid being one of those people.
People will tell you a lot of things, but their actions are what is important. Someone will tell you that they will always be there for you, but that is not guaranteed. They will say they want you to be happy, but then do things that hurt you. Sometimes without knowing, sometimes on purpose, sometimes because they are a coward.
It's always better to do your work immediately rather than putting it off for later.
Be patient and wait. It's better to be alone than with someone that doesn't respect you.
No matter how much or good your are to someone, some of them will screw you over.
Always look after yourself first.
Start early with physical hobby and keep fit, you have one body and there is no replay.
If you love someone but they don't love you.. move on. It will hurt like hell but in the long run, you'll be happier.
Giving money doesn't equate to affection, the gratitude will be short lived and you'll only be an ATM to them in the near future.
Looking back so far, here’s my list of gotta dos:
1. Get a skill. College, intern, trade school, self taught - doesn’t matter. Get a skill.
2. Minimize your debt. Do anything to stave off picking up loans, racking up credit cards. Even with a skill, if half your money goes to paying debt, you’re gonna have a bad time.
3. Don’t chase others (relationships). Be the best you possible. Read. Work out. Think. Be happy by yourself. People like people who have a story to tell. Don’t live through others.
Don't be a clingy dependant. Stand on your own two feet like a solid citizen.
Never allow someone to treat you as their therapist. If they tell you all their problems but get defensive about your simple requests, they are not worth your time.
The value of responsibility, to me it's an ethical thing. Doing the right thing eases your conscience so much more than just doing what you feel like doing. Sure it can be stressful, but you sleep so much better and feel more at ease when you do what you know is right.
That there IS hope for you to fix your mental health problems. I left things for 10 years not knowing there was decent help to be had. Although to be fair, things have progressed a lot since then
Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional, and the best way to experience more joy is to become more willing to experience disappointment and loss. Easier said than done for sure.
Note: this post originally had 38 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
Don't use drugs or alcohol to make yourself feel better or to treat mental health issues. It makes the situation a lot worse because the withdrawals the next day make you more anxious, you'll probably end up owing someone an apology for something you said/did, you'll end up spending money you don't have and you'll end up feeling very embarrassed about your behaviour while your original problem is still there. Yes, I found this out the hard way.
Pot is legal in my state and people are weirded out that I won't partake. My family's history of substance abuse and addictive behaviors (addicted to the high, not that pot is chemically addictive) and my own mental health issues make me want to avoid it all out. I am fine with others using it, but I just do not want to get near the issues others in my family are going through
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Do what you can to have a positive attitude. It’s not always possible everyday in every situation but it makes life so much lighter if you at least try. It doesn’t have to be major, just a couple moments to enjoy a pretty flower or a wave & smile to a neighbor
I do agree with the "don't do what you love for a living" thought. I love to draw, to make my own greeting cards, and do landscapes, but I do it because I love it, not to make any kind of money from it. I refuse to ever turn it into a business because I don't ever want to hate it. I've seen it happen too many times to not think it's real.
This post is unnecessarily negative and doesn’t cover real life situations because everything and everyone is unique.
I've seen this somewhere else. Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff. In all seriousness: learn to laugh at your mistakes and know that you're loved
Work with what you have. Don't use the words "I should have" or "I remember when" -- do something now. Think about where you will be in the future and what it takes to get there. Do say you missed the boat -- find out when the next one sails into the future. Or make your own boat!
Don't use drugs or alcohol to make yourself feel better or to treat mental health issues. It makes the situation a lot worse because the withdrawals the next day make you more anxious, you'll probably end up owing someone an apology for something you said/did, you'll end up spending money you don't have and you'll end up feeling very embarrassed about your behaviour while your original problem is still there. Yes, I found this out the hard way.
Pot is legal in my state and people are weirded out that I won't partake. My family's history of substance abuse and addictive behaviors (addicted to the high, not that pot is chemically addictive) and my own mental health issues make me want to avoid it all out. I am fine with others using it, but I just do not want to get near the issues others in my family are going through
Load More Replies... Do what you can to have a positive attitude. It’s not always possible everyday in every situation but it makes life so much lighter if you at least try. It doesn’t have to be major, just a couple moments to enjoy a pretty flower or a wave & smile to a neighbor
I do agree with the "don't do what you love for a living" thought. I love to draw, to make my own greeting cards, and do landscapes, but I do it because I love it, not to make any kind of money from it. I refuse to ever turn it into a business because I don't ever want to hate it. I've seen it happen too many times to not think it's real.
This post is unnecessarily negative and doesn’t cover real life situations because everything and everyone is unique.
I've seen this somewhere else. Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff. In all seriousness: learn to laugh at your mistakes and know that you're loved
Work with what you have. Don't use the words "I should have" or "I remember when" -- do something now. Think about where you will be in the future and what it takes to get there. Do say you missed the boat -- find out when the next one sails into the future. Or make your own boat!
