It takes guts to quit your job. But leaving behind your whole profession? Impossible without an overwhelming combination of soul-searching and disappointment. Recently, Jessica Gentry, 34, from Harrisonburg, Virginia, quit being a kindergarten teacher at Stone Spring Elementary School. Now, sick and tired of all the people assuming she did it for lousy pay, Jessica penned an emotional Facebook rant revealing the true reasons behind her difficult decision. And money wasn’t even on the list. Her sincere words have already received over 263K reactions and 800 comments, many of which are actively supporting Gentry and the new route she’s taking.
More info: Facebook
Jessica Gentry, a former kindergarten teacher, said she loves children, but that wasn’t enough for her to stay in the job she’s had for the last 12 years
“There were a few major events that spurred my departure. I hold teaching in such high regard that watching my most recent administration laugh about students with disabilities, state that we ‘shouldn’t lose sleep over’ struggling students, say that she [a school administrator] ‘washed her hands of this year’ in April was disheartening to say the least,” Gentry told Good Morning America.
Speaking to WHSV, Michael Richards, the Superintendent of Harrisonburg City Public Schools, made the following statement:
“I would take issue with the notion that teachers are leaving the profession “like their hair’s on fire.” Ms. Gentry may have her own reasons for making that assertion. Teaching is the noblest profession in the world, and the vast majority of teachers are dedicated to the vital work of empowering the next generation. Teaching is definitely a very challenging profession, and it is not for everyone. It requires longer hours than most people believe it does, and it presents multifaceted challenges that blend social and intellectual skills. Some of Ms Gentry’s concerns are entirely valid. For instance, it is imperative that we provide teachers with adequate planning and collaboration time and that we do not pull them away from instructional time. It is imperative that we help students develop strong social skills, especially as society turns increasingly toward device-driven communication. At the same time, we need to empower students to use technology to enrich their learning and develop real-world skills. It is important that we support teachers in developing productive partnerships with parents. Many of Ms. Gentry’s concerns have been squarely on my radar for some time. I have plans to address these and other concerns here in Harrisonburg, where I started as superintendent only a month ago. Too often teachers feel that no one really understands their concerns and that solutions are imposed on them. I plan to partner with teachers so that I am aware of their concerns and they have a voice in the solutions.”
Jessica’s post has already received over 263K reactions
“There is an enormous amount of educators who feel that exact way but have felt alone and guilty for thinking so,” she said. ” I never expected it to reach farther than a few friends — but I am so humbled to be able to throw the curtains open on the issue and give those who feel unable to say it a voice.”
She hopes that her post can start some kind of change.
“I’d love nothing more than to do work with those willing to listen to change the current path our public education system is headed down. I promised my coworkers when I left that I’d be the voice for them since so many fear being reprimanded for speaking up,” she said.
And people are supporting her brave decision
Nice. Whenever I say that children needs actual parenting and some discipline I am downvoted to the abyss...
Throwing you an upvote, Miklos. Cuz I believe this too. :-)
Load More Replies...I'll catch he** for this, but there's a difference between parenting selfishly and *actually parenting*. The apps, the tech, etc., are to free up the time of the *parents*... IMHO. OK, downvote away!
Leo I totally agree - yes times have changed, but it's not like us parents are "fixed" in time, we're bombarded by all the same c**p that the kids are. I know, i'm not immune - i work on a computer, use my phone too much... i should really be cultivating a space at home where it's OK to let your emotions come out in a safe and nurturing way.
Load More Replies...People here are going to hate this, but if a couple is selfishly so involved in their personal lives that they treat their children like they are a distraction shouldn't have children in the first place. There is no requirement to have children.
The people who are going to hate this are wrong. This is absolutely valid. Parents who view their children as pets rather than people don’t deserve the gift of kids.
Load More Replies...Too bad you gave up. We need more intelligent and knowledgeable people taking care of our kids and they should be paid plenty.
You shouldn't say that they gave up. Even if you didn't intend it to be dismissive and putting-down, it sounds that way. She didn't quit because she wanted to stop helping kids, she quit because of the strain it was putting on her mentally, and she is still advocating despite that. Maybe you could say 'Its too bad you had to quit'.
Load More Replies...I, too, left teaching because of poor parenting, dwindling societal standards, and no support from administrators. They made it seem like being attacked by my students was MY fault. When in reality, there is no discipline we can enact on these kiddos. They are being failed. We, the teachers, are being failed.
That sucks so much. There's no way in hell I could teach because I don't suffer fools gladly. I can't imagine what you went through with parents.
Load More Replies...Those who've been noticing my comments will know I always defend technology, but I will side with the teacher this time. Technology shouldn't be used that way on little kids, and it shouldn't be so excessive. But in general, when you're working with kids and are given strict rules on how to teach them and how to behave, that drives anyone crazy. You have your knowledge, your instincts and your experience, but your superiors insist you don't do your way, because you must do what they expect you to do, although they don't do it themselves. It's the overall pressure, really, rather than the kids or the pay itself.
I agree. Technology shouldn't be used in school until students are old enough to understand how it works and why they might need it.
Load More Replies...My mom is currently raising my youngest sister who is 10 and when she is at home all she does or wants to do it sit on the computer or Ipad alllll day. Then when she is at school she acts out and my mom has to go pick her up simply because she is told "no" by a teacher. My mom always complains that the teachers don't care or are bad at their jobs, but I have yet to tell her that I believe her parenting skills or lack there of are a product of why my sister acts the way she does. She is use to getting everything she wants at home... its truly sad to see sometimes.
Then you get the parents who think their kids can’t do any wrong and if the teacher says otherwise, the parents make the teachers life hell or adamantly refuse to believe the teacher. Teachers have less power as well so if a child becomes violent, abusive etc then the teachers have to go through a lot of red tape to deal with it. Kids are also showing lack of resilience seeing as schools, sports clubs etc give all kids awards because it is mor fair. Sorry life doesn’t work that way. Whilst yes these things have always happened, it just seems more common these days. Parents are no longer parenting but being their kids friends or using technology and schools to do all the work for them. Teachers work loads have drastically increased over the years. No wonder it is one of the most common professions people are leaving at a staggering rate. Teachers are often under appreciated and Cudo’s to anyone who helps mould our children’s future.
@ Foxxy..totally agree with you. The other thing is that parents think they are protecting their kids by not allowing teachers to use the word "no." That all their awards are given so no one's feelings are hurt. In actuality, their failing to teach their children the basics of how to deal with rejection and stress. These kids will grow up to be adults that have meltdowns when their girlfriend walks out on them. The ones that will over-react and sometimes become violent when they are told "no" for the first time in their life. The ones that end up being alcoholics and drug addicts because they can't deal with the realities of life. How is that helping them?
Load More Replies...I was a teaching assistant / teacher during my time at university and I can honestly say it was one of the hard things I've ever had to do. Teachers don't get enough credit, they are treated horribly by both the children & parents and they don't get the support they need. Everything this woman has said is true beyond belief, children behave badly at school because they have no discipline at home. The teachers need help, the children need support and the parents need to step up and take responsibility.
when parents throw technology at their kids to "distract" them or whatever makes me think these parents shouldn't be parents. There is no problem procreating - when there should be a screening process for people who want kids anyway, but yet can't adult and parent a child naturally without the use of technology because the parents themselves are too lazy. If you are too lazy to entertain your kids 1 on 1, you're setting them up for failure - fueling addition (technology), limiting their ability to learn, limiting their imagination, and cue the mental illness and childhood obesity.
Too many parents are expecting the teachers to raise their kids. If the kids get in trouble they always put the blame on the teachers. When both parents work full time jobs they don't have the time they need to raise them. I don't mean to sound harsh, but don't have kids if you don't have the time or energy to raise them. If you have not taught them how to behave and be respectful to everyone, they become a problem for everyone around them. The physical violence in schools and everywhere else would not be a problem if parents taught their kids that it is wrong. Teachers are not allowed to discipline the kids when they need to. Parents can and should do that.
No amount of money or benefits could bribe me into being a teacher.
As a parent of an adult, I can not agree more. When I worked preschool, I was "told off" by a 5 yr old... and I had had it! Parents "giving in" to store tantrums, does not help the child. PARENTS - you are not your child's friend, they are your RESPONSIBILITY... your job is to raise them to be productive, respectful members of our society. Challenge authority but use respect... asking why is a great tool.
Parents need to put away the phones and social media obsession with looking like a perfect parent, and focus on BEING A COMPETENT PARENT! Your child does not give a f*&k about your Facebook or Instagram "likes".
It's the strangest dichotomy: parents are hoverparents who won't let their kids out of their sight even for a second, yet just sit with their faces buried in the phone and ignore the kids the whole time anyway.
Load More Replies...1) My mom passed last year at 80. What she'd been saying for years is true: most parents nowadays don't want to be parents, they want to be their kids' friends. Parents might create rules, boundaries, limits, and disciplinary measures, but they're too afraid their kids won't like them to enforce them. 2) Internet addiction is just as real as any other addiction and we need to start taking it seriously as a society. Under that umbrella, we need to include addiction to online shopping, gaming, endless self-diagnosing, and social media obsession. We can tell people to put down their phones all we like, but it's wasted talking until we start addressing phone usage as an addiction.
My daughter had a friend from high school who for YEARS after they graduated would still call me any time he messed up something because I was the only person who cared about him enough to chew him out when he'd done something wrong and then help him figure out how to make it something right. My husband sat down with him and spent a couple of hours explaining what an employer is looking for from a new employee on their probationary period; after that talk, instead of changing jobs every 5.5 months (i.e. at the end of his probation), he got a job that he kept for years and has loved. He wanted and needed someone to tell him no, and thank heaven he was willing to try to find it outside his home since his mom was useless -- she actually told me that she was going on the road trucking with her newest boyfriend because she'd raised her kids, except she was leaving her 13-year-old daughter at home to be parented by her brother, who was so desperate for a parent himself! So sad....
Wow, that breaks my heart yet I'm heartwarmed because you actually care and knew what to do. Kids WANT to be disciplined. Adults also crave some semblance of order and stability. People don't want to have someone say "It's not your fault" when the both of you know it is your fault. People want others to tell them what they need to hear.
Load More Replies...I admire Jessica Gentry and wholeheartedly agree with her: it’s the parents who have changed!
The attendance thing is a bugbear of mine. Parents need to understand that it is very disruptive taking your child out of school. I teach in a class of 5-6 year olds and one little boy is on a two week holiday, the school term finishes in four weeks! His attendance is already poor and it shows, he is a bright capable boy but he is lagging significantly behind his peers because of how much lesson time he has missed, plus his parents never read with him at home. He is a sweet little boy and my heart breaks for all of his lost potential because his parents don't value his education. I get the frustration with holiday prices, it is unfair the way holiday companies gouge parents' wallets. But holidays are not as vital as an education.
Its also not the fact that parents are on technology all the time but also that parents just throw an iPad in the kids face. I'm 16 and was volunteering at an event. There was a group of 8yr olds I was watching over. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAD A PHONE. They are f*****g 8, wth do they need a phone for. Some of them told me they got phones when they turned 5! I got a phone when I was 15, my parents got a phone when they were in their 20s. No child should need a cell phone under 10, of course unless their parents travel a lot or other specific situations. Yes parents are stuck in their phones, but they are not helping their kids in any way by sticking a phone in their faces too. I am honestly scared for gen Alpha, they probably won't have any social skills when they grow up.
She's not wrong--Parenting has changed, and not necessarily for the better.
I think it's insane that you would expect school teachers to bring up your children for you... if you haven't got the time or the resources to teach your children basic manners and social skills, you probably shouldn't have them in the first place...
“There is an enormous amount of educators [...]" A superintendent of a school literally said that. No wonder schools are failing. Their own educators don't even know when to use the words" amount" and "number."
I too gave up teaching kindergarten, for the very reasons mention by Jessica. The generation of these new type of parents who don't give limits to their children are creating a whole generation of future adults that will find life very confusing and frustrating. Never ever say NO to child is not the way to become a good citizen, future parent or employee. The poor kids are going strait to disaster.
You are 100% correct in what you have written. It is always so sad to lose an educator.
I'm in high school and there is such a sortage of teachers. And I'm in a good area. Last year, I wasn't assigned a math teacher til the day before school started because they didn't have enough. I cant imagine how low income areas must be when it comes to having proper educators. People say it's the low wages, but that is only one part of it.
Load More Replies...Totally agree with her, taught special education.. zero support and no recourse... couldn't tae it anymore .. left and got my PhD
I see parents walking ahead of their small kids in the street while focus is glued to their phones and I am in shock, what happened to making sure your child was holding your hand or alongside you, I once sat at traffic lights holding my breath as I watched cars and vans seem to slow down near a small child and the mother at least two houses ahead on the footpath, there was no chance that if that child was grabbed the mother would have even been aware for another block or so. Even walking across the road, parents on phone kids just dawdling along, people looking at phones not at oncoming traffic even if they have the right of way, cars can sometimes run lights, lose control, kids are not being taught the basics that parents are supposed to teach, so I can only imagine how horrible the classroom could be.
Totally agree. From the perspective of a secondary school teacher, it's all scarily true.
Parents tend To forget nowadays the fact that the child is NOT YOURS-you don't MAKE it for your own fun;meaning it's not a toy, not a porcelain doll, not a simple property -it is a sovereign human being, which you BRING TO LIFE and your most important duty from the start is to make them be able to sustain themselves, find their place on society, be independent,know and respect the unwritten rules of life and if possible, be able to prosper and be more and more as they go ahead in life-legally you have 18 years for that, normally at 16 they become too independent for you to do much about it in those last 2 years. A parent (and the teachers and everyone else around in their childhood) must be a guide - a guide to LIFE- for when they become adults, to be able to reach to all they have seen, learned, experienced through us, adults, we are all "parenting" them, showing them the path and know-hows,when YOU, PARENTS aren't near 24/7,for when they will have to deal with everything on their own
Funny how the people with experience in the school system and dealing with parents (either because they were teachers themselves or they are related/know someone who is a teacher) are getting down voted for speaking the truth. It's not up to the school system to teach your kids manners. It's not up to the school to discipline your kids for every problem your child causes. At some point and time, you have to actually parent your own kids. And as hard as that can be with two working parents in the home, it doesn't take a lot of time and effort to do it as long as you're consistent. Being their best friend does not help them deal with the ugly realities of life. As much as you would like to protect them from all the evils of the world, the fact is..there are bad people out there. As parents, we want to protect our kids forever, but no one lives forever. And if you don't teach them boundaries early on...they will have no defense against the bad people of the world.
Actually, it is when they spend nearly all day with them. Kids sit in school 8 hours a day, sleep 8 hours, probably are into sports or at after school programs for parents who have to work to keep a roof over their heads... Yes parents have their responsibility to teach but kids spend most of their time with other adults. And in case any of you get angry, I've been on both sides and I fully accept my responsibility to teach a child manners when they are in my care. It is also the teachers who must discipline. Kids at that age do not have the capacity to remember that far ahead that if they do something bad, 8 hours later they get disciplined. They're like dogs, they live in the "now" of thought.
Load More Replies...I am absolutely guilty of the electronic device in my hand, it's how I unwind after a 70 hour week working law enforcement. BUT to offset this, when we sit to have dinner together, there are no devices allowed. At LEAST once a week we have family movie night...again no electronics. Now that it's summer time, we are at the pool hanging out for hours on end and almost every weekend we try to go do something as a family. Electronics can be good, but there has to be a balance. I don't believe in having teachers raise your kids. You have to raise them, they are there to TEACH. They are not Nannies. My sister is a teacher and I don't know how she does it.
that first one is super important. kids are always kids, but they've got to adapt to the environment they're in. telling each generation they're worse than the last ignores the entire context of their lives. kids don't grow up in a vacuum. kids can only use the resources they have to do what they can.
All of this applies to hospitals as well. Now we have to do all kinds of things in the computer to show that we did this and that for the patient. So instead of treating the patient, our job is to please the computer.
parents need to start being parents. plain and simple. stop being slaves to your work, and to money. start taking care of your f*****g kids. I see it all the time. F**k your phones, they suck. Smartphones are s**t. Throw them in the trash and get a f****n' flip phone, pay as you go. stop paying $100+ a month for talk and text and internet. either pull the cord, or wrap it around your neck.
The whole society is ill. Something that is present in every society is the concept of raising children. Of course children don't raise themselves. The fact that they aren't raised well most of the time is a symptom of a broken, unnatural, and ill society. Every generation gets worse, not that there haven't been a few improvements. In general, beating children was acceptable in many European societies and the US (and possibly others) for centuries, but at the same time, there were MANY societies where that would be unthinkable, and the society was largely involved in raising the children. Look to the Lakota culture for inspiration. My son has known several friends whose parents literally did not love them. I don't mean the had issues or were trying but failed. I mean they did not love their children. I had a couple of friends like that. That is SO unnatural. Should be a very rare occurrence.
Kids haven’t changed. Society has become more toxic. It WAS toxic already, but it’s just getting worse. It’s not the tech gadgets. It’s the corporatocracy mindset of schools (the management) and the parents (because of their own poor nurturing and education, and their parents poor education, etc... It COMPOUNDS every generation!!)
Every job interview, I am asked if I think that teenagers are worse today than they were 20 years ago, or when I was a teenager, or some version of that question. Every. Single. Time. And every time, I quote the ancient philosopher who complained about youth listening to loud music, being rude to their elders, and in general being bad eggs. I love that line, but the children have a change to, but the society has changed, parenting has changed.
Something that's not touched on (much) in the article is the fact that what kids need in school (and at home) is one on one attention. No human being can give one on one attention when there is a 20:1 (or more!) ratio. Smaller classes would improve the connection and interaction and behavior. We need to start treating children as the invaluable resources they are to our future and start pouring money into helping them develop into good, caring, educated members of our society. Instead of putting tax dollars into building multi-billion sports venues, create quality day care (much of the problem in kindergarteners probably stems from sub-standard child care from birth.) This is a bigger problem than just technology. We need to throw resources behind it.
She is right about today's #1 family problem: both parents and children spending too much time on phones, puters, tv. Get off the machines!
There is something to add on top of the emotional detachment cell phone usage brings. That alone is reason for parents and their children not to use them, but there is even more. the ions generated from phones and other Wifi slow down the cilia in our bodies, including the cilia in our brains and digestive tract. Those tiny 'wavers' have a tremendous impact on physical and mental performance. The sluggishness results in amyloid plaque! Do we really want children and parents to be developing amyloid plaque?
This needs to be said over and over! Whenever I tried to introduce relationship building exercises into my class, having tech free time, I got told they need to be on the computers. No. They are already on their devices all damn day. They need to know how to interact with each other - especially when things get difficult; which is more often than not. Recess isn’t enough to teach that - am I’m expecting tech to come into that any day now too. Sad state we’re headed to these days. Society has and is changing still - and the kids are getting left behind for real.
A side thought - but in our whole society the tail is wagging the dog. the tail is work - work should be FOR us- to allow us to earn money to support the lifestyle we would like, to provide for our family, and depending on our jobs, to fulfil us. Instead, work now crowds out any kind of time for lifestyle, takes us away from our family and grinds us down. This has to be wrong surely?
Until there are major systemic changes to the structure of business and work in general in the US that would allow sufficient financial wiggle room for parents to spend more time home with their kids, a lot of these issues are going to continue well into the future. Yes, kids need discipline, but parents need enough time outside of work to give it to them.
I disagree. Yes more time would help, but parents these days are known as being hoverparents who are constantly doting over the kids, yet at the same time ignoring them while on their phones. You have eyes and are out and about, how often do you see a parent being very firm with their kid while at the stores? Everything is a negotiation somehow. The kid is 5, and you can't get them out of the car? Parents act like they are locked in a battle of equals. No, you're the damn parent and you need to learn to be assertive and let the kid know that what you say goes, and that it's for a good reason. Without boundaries kids will never learn respect.
Load More Replies...Mother teaches High School, I watch this happen to her (but she is near retirement so is sticking it out now). My kids are seeing the same results, some teachers care to the core but the district policies fail them. Some teachers lost that drive long ago, and you can see it in the historical photos of the classes. If I could afford a private school I would, but to send my kids to one costs more than I make annually, and that is before the expenses like food and rent. It is a shame to lose a good teacher, but if we get more vocal like this we can remove common core (teaching for a test concept), excessive tech (useful, but dont use ONLY tech), not holding the child AND parent responsible, and more problems that repeatedly lead to failures. We can't be afraid to fail a student/parent, as it should be a team effort. More power to you! Is there an legitimate effort to do this? If so, where can I find it?
Kudos to her! I've been there on both sides. I had to tell teachers to let me know if my child wasn't acting correctly. I had to beg them because they were used to "not my child" mentality. I taught my daughter to act correctly, treat teachers with respect and if you get in trouble at school...your in twice the trouble when you get home.
I don't think it's the parents that have changed. They are as good and bad as always. It's more the respect toward education and institutions. Parents questioning teachers may have stopped them from beating kids, but it's also starting to undermine the teachers' teaching.
Don't know why you have been downvoted, you have a great point. Parent/teacher relationships are extremely important but both have to be on the same page whilst acknowledging their different roles.
Load More Replies...So let me get this straight. Essentially, this teacher quit on her students. She had a passion to do what is right and gave up because she could ensure the battle. whats that leave the kids with. Un-passionate teachers who dont stand up for whats right. I applause this woman for doing whats right to make her happy, but cant give the credit for being a quitter in something shes "passionate" about. Its a good story that created buzz. but what now. She gave up, the story has subsided and now shes selling beach body shakes to her new found following. SMH.
It's funny that the first post is on how the parents are on electronics yet she literally typed this on an electronic, and her grammar is horrific which explains why she is only a kindergarten teacher. Not to say kindergarten teachers can't be good my kindergarten teacher was fantastic
Growing up in public schools, I was never in a classroom with fewer than 50-60 students.with one teacher. No assistants, no support of any kind, just trying to keep the attention of that many students. As a student, we had to read our lessons at home and forget about learning anything at school. Still, we had to try to get the attention of the teacher if we had needed answers to problems. And by sixth grade, the teacher split our class and sent the best students outside, hoping the smartest student would, or could teach the other students something useful! We managed to get into trouble together? I survived and managed to graduate high school with above average grades. While I felt abondoned at times, i’m sure some students eventually dropped out because of neglect. It was a lose/lose situation for both students and teachers. I realize teaching has only become more difficult since more two-career couples are depending on schools to rear their kids.
I feel like as we head towards technological advancement, a tech responsibility class should be part of our education, (maybe for older students, in a non-preachy way) as well as meetings with parents about how to show their children to have a "healthy" relationship with their devices. (Again, in a non-preachy way.) ALL the nuances. 1. Yes, tech can be fun, nothing wrong with that, 2. but it can also be used for learning, 3. but also learning can be fun, 4. and also the tech can't teach you "everything".
Adding that: Sometimes, good old-fashioned falling-on-your-face mistakes are the best teachers... that, or teachers who have fallen on their faces, and learned, as most adults will have.
Load More Replies...The 1st point just makes me sad and angry at the same time. The lady is 100% right, this is the base of everything. I'm sorry that kids have to grow up alone with devices, without any security, called boundaries. I had a talk about this with my therapist once. I had the biggest freedom since I was 3. That sounds great, but I usually have anxiety and hard periods when I feel left alone with any problems, decisions. I didn't learn how to make choices, how to organize my life or how to connect with most of the people. I'm wondering why people usually don't have at least a tiny self-knowledge and accept: I can't make it right, so I probably shouldn't have kids (yet)! I'm a 37yo woman and I'm still hesitating whether I should become a parent. Because I've never had a normal example and I don't want to risk an innocent creature's life. I have doubts whether I could dedicate myself to real parenting and education. So I probably just won't.
my boys are 24 & 22 & we as parents have always & still do, been told that our boys are beautiful people
I was once told by a kinder teacher allow children to be themselves at home & boundaries outside in the community
Things really have gotten so bad for teachers. I remember when I was in high-school in the early 00's, my classmates and I were baffled by the way kids 1 year younger than us would behave. They couldn't even get along with the nicest teachers, which were almost universally loved by the rest of the student population. When kids with no more than 1-2 years older are themselves noticing a drastic change in younger students, something is clearly wrong. The vast majority of people need parenting school at this point. Parents now are spoiling their kids, but simultaneously not paying enough attention to them and letting the internet/media raise them. I also don't see kids band together to play outside, like it was when I was young. Thus kids are growing up entitled, lacking social skills and too often with a staggering lack of empathy.
Sounds like she was just in the wrong place, we've all been there at one time or another and we just move on to somewhere that appreciates us.....
Let's not forget the teachers who have also deteriorated! There's no discipline i schools today..
There is no discipline not because the teachers have "deteriorated" but because there's nothing the teachers can do to discipline the children if the discipline isn't continued at home
Load More Replies...Why do parents who want to adopt a child, get to be examined thoroughly, but any young girl can have a child, with absolutely no knowledge of how to raise it? Parenting should be a subject in school.
Only young girls have kids??!??? Let's complete get rid of the sperm donor
Load More Replies...And I actually met two college students that were going through the early childhood education programs to become teachers. They said part of their training included being instructed that they could not tell the children "no," they instead had to tell the children to "re-direct their energy." WTF?!? I'm sorry..if a child is about to do something dangerous and/or life threatening..I'm yelling "NO!" By the time you tell them to re-direct their energy, you may need to be calling for an ambulance.
Load More Replies...I really don't think that behavior based on fear is the answer. It breaks my heart that some parents do.
Load More Replies...Nice. Whenever I say that children needs actual parenting and some discipline I am downvoted to the abyss...
Throwing you an upvote, Miklos. Cuz I believe this too. :-)
Load More Replies...I'll catch he** for this, but there's a difference between parenting selfishly and *actually parenting*. The apps, the tech, etc., are to free up the time of the *parents*... IMHO. OK, downvote away!
Leo I totally agree - yes times have changed, but it's not like us parents are "fixed" in time, we're bombarded by all the same c**p that the kids are. I know, i'm not immune - i work on a computer, use my phone too much... i should really be cultivating a space at home where it's OK to let your emotions come out in a safe and nurturing way.
Load More Replies...People here are going to hate this, but if a couple is selfishly so involved in their personal lives that they treat their children like they are a distraction shouldn't have children in the first place. There is no requirement to have children.
The people who are going to hate this are wrong. This is absolutely valid. Parents who view their children as pets rather than people don’t deserve the gift of kids.
Load More Replies...Too bad you gave up. We need more intelligent and knowledgeable people taking care of our kids and they should be paid plenty.
You shouldn't say that they gave up. Even if you didn't intend it to be dismissive and putting-down, it sounds that way. She didn't quit because she wanted to stop helping kids, she quit because of the strain it was putting on her mentally, and she is still advocating despite that. Maybe you could say 'Its too bad you had to quit'.
Load More Replies...I, too, left teaching because of poor parenting, dwindling societal standards, and no support from administrators. They made it seem like being attacked by my students was MY fault. When in reality, there is no discipline we can enact on these kiddos. They are being failed. We, the teachers, are being failed.
That sucks so much. There's no way in hell I could teach because I don't suffer fools gladly. I can't imagine what you went through with parents.
Load More Replies...Those who've been noticing my comments will know I always defend technology, but I will side with the teacher this time. Technology shouldn't be used that way on little kids, and it shouldn't be so excessive. But in general, when you're working with kids and are given strict rules on how to teach them and how to behave, that drives anyone crazy. You have your knowledge, your instincts and your experience, but your superiors insist you don't do your way, because you must do what they expect you to do, although they don't do it themselves. It's the overall pressure, really, rather than the kids or the pay itself.
I agree. Technology shouldn't be used in school until students are old enough to understand how it works and why they might need it.
Load More Replies...My mom is currently raising my youngest sister who is 10 and when she is at home all she does or wants to do it sit on the computer or Ipad alllll day. Then when she is at school she acts out and my mom has to go pick her up simply because she is told "no" by a teacher. My mom always complains that the teachers don't care or are bad at their jobs, but I have yet to tell her that I believe her parenting skills or lack there of are a product of why my sister acts the way she does. She is use to getting everything she wants at home... its truly sad to see sometimes.
Then you get the parents who think their kids can’t do any wrong and if the teacher says otherwise, the parents make the teachers life hell or adamantly refuse to believe the teacher. Teachers have less power as well so if a child becomes violent, abusive etc then the teachers have to go through a lot of red tape to deal with it. Kids are also showing lack of resilience seeing as schools, sports clubs etc give all kids awards because it is mor fair. Sorry life doesn’t work that way. Whilst yes these things have always happened, it just seems more common these days. Parents are no longer parenting but being their kids friends or using technology and schools to do all the work for them. Teachers work loads have drastically increased over the years. No wonder it is one of the most common professions people are leaving at a staggering rate. Teachers are often under appreciated and Cudo’s to anyone who helps mould our children’s future.
@ Foxxy..totally agree with you. The other thing is that parents think they are protecting their kids by not allowing teachers to use the word "no." That all their awards are given so no one's feelings are hurt. In actuality, their failing to teach their children the basics of how to deal with rejection and stress. These kids will grow up to be adults that have meltdowns when their girlfriend walks out on them. The ones that will over-react and sometimes become violent when they are told "no" for the first time in their life. The ones that end up being alcoholics and drug addicts because they can't deal with the realities of life. How is that helping them?
Load More Replies...I was a teaching assistant / teacher during my time at university and I can honestly say it was one of the hard things I've ever had to do. Teachers don't get enough credit, they are treated horribly by both the children & parents and they don't get the support they need. Everything this woman has said is true beyond belief, children behave badly at school because they have no discipline at home. The teachers need help, the children need support and the parents need to step up and take responsibility.
when parents throw technology at their kids to "distract" them or whatever makes me think these parents shouldn't be parents. There is no problem procreating - when there should be a screening process for people who want kids anyway, but yet can't adult and parent a child naturally without the use of technology because the parents themselves are too lazy. If you are too lazy to entertain your kids 1 on 1, you're setting them up for failure - fueling addition (technology), limiting their ability to learn, limiting their imagination, and cue the mental illness and childhood obesity.
Too many parents are expecting the teachers to raise their kids. If the kids get in trouble they always put the blame on the teachers. When both parents work full time jobs they don't have the time they need to raise them. I don't mean to sound harsh, but don't have kids if you don't have the time or energy to raise them. If you have not taught them how to behave and be respectful to everyone, they become a problem for everyone around them. The physical violence in schools and everywhere else would not be a problem if parents taught their kids that it is wrong. Teachers are not allowed to discipline the kids when they need to. Parents can and should do that.
No amount of money or benefits could bribe me into being a teacher.
As a parent of an adult, I can not agree more. When I worked preschool, I was "told off" by a 5 yr old... and I had had it! Parents "giving in" to store tantrums, does not help the child. PARENTS - you are not your child's friend, they are your RESPONSIBILITY... your job is to raise them to be productive, respectful members of our society. Challenge authority but use respect... asking why is a great tool.
Parents need to put away the phones and social media obsession with looking like a perfect parent, and focus on BEING A COMPETENT PARENT! Your child does not give a f*&k about your Facebook or Instagram "likes".
It's the strangest dichotomy: parents are hoverparents who won't let their kids out of their sight even for a second, yet just sit with their faces buried in the phone and ignore the kids the whole time anyway.
Load More Replies...1) My mom passed last year at 80. What she'd been saying for years is true: most parents nowadays don't want to be parents, they want to be their kids' friends. Parents might create rules, boundaries, limits, and disciplinary measures, but they're too afraid their kids won't like them to enforce them. 2) Internet addiction is just as real as any other addiction and we need to start taking it seriously as a society. Under that umbrella, we need to include addiction to online shopping, gaming, endless self-diagnosing, and social media obsession. We can tell people to put down their phones all we like, but it's wasted talking until we start addressing phone usage as an addiction.
My daughter had a friend from high school who for YEARS after they graduated would still call me any time he messed up something because I was the only person who cared about him enough to chew him out when he'd done something wrong and then help him figure out how to make it something right. My husband sat down with him and spent a couple of hours explaining what an employer is looking for from a new employee on their probationary period; after that talk, instead of changing jobs every 5.5 months (i.e. at the end of his probation), he got a job that he kept for years and has loved. He wanted and needed someone to tell him no, and thank heaven he was willing to try to find it outside his home since his mom was useless -- she actually told me that she was going on the road trucking with her newest boyfriend because she'd raised her kids, except she was leaving her 13-year-old daughter at home to be parented by her brother, who was so desperate for a parent himself! So sad....
Wow, that breaks my heart yet I'm heartwarmed because you actually care and knew what to do. Kids WANT to be disciplined. Adults also crave some semblance of order and stability. People don't want to have someone say "It's not your fault" when the both of you know it is your fault. People want others to tell them what they need to hear.
Load More Replies...I admire Jessica Gentry and wholeheartedly agree with her: it’s the parents who have changed!
The attendance thing is a bugbear of mine. Parents need to understand that it is very disruptive taking your child out of school. I teach in a class of 5-6 year olds and one little boy is on a two week holiday, the school term finishes in four weeks! His attendance is already poor and it shows, he is a bright capable boy but he is lagging significantly behind his peers because of how much lesson time he has missed, plus his parents never read with him at home. He is a sweet little boy and my heart breaks for all of his lost potential because his parents don't value his education. I get the frustration with holiday prices, it is unfair the way holiday companies gouge parents' wallets. But holidays are not as vital as an education.
Its also not the fact that parents are on technology all the time but also that parents just throw an iPad in the kids face. I'm 16 and was volunteering at an event. There was a group of 8yr olds I was watching over. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAD A PHONE. They are f*****g 8, wth do they need a phone for. Some of them told me they got phones when they turned 5! I got a phone when I was 15, my parents got a phone when they were in their 20s. No child should need a cell phone under 10, of course unless their parents travel a lot or other specific situations. Yes parents are stuck in their phones, but they are not helping their kids in any way by sticking a phone in their faces too. I am honestly scared for gen Alpha, they probably won't have any social skills when they grow up.
She's not wrong--Parenting has changed, and not necessarily for the better.
I think it's insane that you would expect school teachers to bring up your children for you... if you haven't got the time or the resources to teach your children basic manners and social skills, you probably shouldn't have them in the first place...
“There is an enormous amount of educators [...]" A superintendent of a school literally said that. No wonder schools are failing. Their own educators don't even know when to use the words" amount" and "number."
I too gave up teaching kindergarten, for the very reasons mention by Jessica. The generation of these new type of parents who don't give limits to their children are creating a whole generation of future adults that will find life very confusing and frustrating. Never ever say NO to child is not the way to become a good citizen, future parent or employee. The poor kids are going strait to disaster.
You are 100% correct in what you have written. It is always so sad to lose an educator.
I'm in high school and there is such a sortage of teachers. And I'm in a good area. Last year, I wasn't assigned a math teacher til the day before school started because they didn't have enough. I cant imagine how low income areas must be when it comes to having proper educators. People say it's the low wages, but that is only one part of it.
Load More Replies...Totally agree with her, taught special education.. zero support and no recourse... couldn't tae it anymore .. left and got my PhD
I see parents walking ahead of their small kids in the street while focus is glued to their phones and I am in shock, what happened to making sure your child was holding your hand or alongside you, I once sat at traffic lights holding my breath as I watched cars and vans seem to slow down near a small child and the mother at least two houses ahead on the footpath, there was no chance that if that child was grabbed the mother would have even been aware for another block or so. Even walking across the road, parents on phone kids just dawdling along, people looking at phones not at oncoming traffic even if they have the right of way, cars can sometimes run lights, lose control, kids are not being taught the basics that parents are supposed to teach, so I can only imagine how horrible the classroom could be.
Totally agree. From the perspective of a secondary school teacher, it's all scarily true.
Parents tend To forget nowadays the fact that the child is NOT YOURS-you don't MAKE it for your own fun;meaning it's not a toy, not a porcelain doll, not a simple property -it is a sovereign human being, which you BRING TO LIFE and your most important duty from the start is to make them be able to sustain themselves, find their place on society, be independent,know and respect the unwritten rules of life and if possible, be able to prosper and be more and more as they go ahead in life-legally you have 18 years for that, normally at 16 they become too independent for you to do much about it in those last 2 years. A parent (and the teachers and everyone else around in their childhood) must be a guide - a guide to LIFE- for when they become adults, to be able to reach to all they have seen, learned, experienced through us, adults, we are all "parenting" them, showing them the path and know-hows,when YOU, PARENTS aren't near 24/7,for when they will have to deal with everything on their own
Funny how the people with experience in the school system and dealing with parents (either because they were teachers themselves or they are related/know someone who is a teacher) are getting down voted for speaking the truth. It's not up to the school system to teach your kids manners. It's not up to the school to discipline your kids for every problem your child causes. At some point and time, you have to actually parent your own kids. And as hard as that can be with two working parents in the home, it doesn't take a lot of time and effort to do it as long as you're consistent. Being their best friend does not help them deal with the ugly realities of life. As much as you would like to protect them from all the evils of the world, the fact is..there are bad people out there. As parents, we want to protect our kids forever, but no one lives forever. And if you don't teach them boundaries early on...they will have no defense against the bad people of the world.
Actually, it is when they spend nearly all day with them. Kids sit in school 8 hours a day, sleep 8 hours, probably are into sports or at after school programs for parents who have to work to keep a roof over their heads... Yes parents have their responsibility to teach but kids spend most of their time with other adults. And in case any of you get angry, I've been on both sides and I fully accept my responsibility to teach a child manners when they are in my care. It is also the teachers who must discipline. Kids at that age do not have the capacity to remember that far ahead that if they do something bad, 8 hours later they get disciplined. They're like dogs, they live in the "now" of thought.
Load More Replies...I am absolutely guilty of the electronic device in my hand, it's how I unwind after a 70 hour week working law enforcement. BUT to offset this, when we sit to have dinner together, there are no devices allowed. At LEAST once a week we have family movie night...again no electronics. Now that it's summer time, we are at the pool hanging out for hours on end and almost every weekend we try to go do something as a family. Electronics can be good, but there has to be a balance. I don't believe in having teachers raise your kids. You have to raise them, they are there to TEACH. They are not Nannies. My sister is a teacher and I don't know how she does it.
that first one is super important. kids are always kids, but they've got to adapt to the environment they're in. telling each generation they're worse than the last ignores the entire context of their lives. kids don't grow up in a vacuum. kids can only use the resources they have to do what they can.
All of this applies to hospitals as well. Now we have to do all kinds of things in the computer to show that we did this and that for the patient. So instead of treating the patient, our job is to please the computer.
parents need to start being parents. plain and simple. stop being slaves to your work, and to money. start taking care of your f*****g kids. I see it all the time. F**k your phones, they suck. Smartphones are s**t. Throw them in the trash and get a f****n' flip phone, pay as you go. stop paying $100+ a month for talk and text and internet. either pull the cord, or wrap it around your neck.
The whole society is ill. Something that is present in every society is the concept of raising children. Of course children don't raise themselves. The fact that they aren't raised well most of the time is a symptom of a broken, unnatural, and ill society. Every generation gets worse, not that there haven't been a few improvements. In general, beating children was acceptable in many European societies and the US (and possibly others) for centuries, but at the same time, there were MANY societies where that would be unthinkable, and the society was largely involved in raising the children. Look to the Lakota culture for inspiration. My son has known several friends whose parents literally did not love them. I don't mean the had issues or were trying but failed. I mean they did not love their children. I had a couple of friends like that. That is SO unnatural. Should be a very rare occurrence.
Kids haven’t changed. Society has become more toxic. It WAS toxic already, but it’s just getting worse. It’s not the tech gadgets. It’s the corporatocracy mindset of schools (the management) and the parents (because of their own poor nurturing and education, and their parents poor education, etc... It COMPOUNDS every generation!!)
Every job interview, I am asked if I think that teenagers are worse today than they were 20 years ago, or when I was a teenager, or some version of that question. Every. Single. Time. And every time, I quote the ancient philosopher who complained about youth listening to loud music, being rude to their elders, and in general being bad eggs. I love that line, but the children have a change to, but the society has changed, parenting has changed.
Something that's not touched on (much) in the article is the fact that what kids need in school (and at home) is one on one attention. No human being can give one on one attention when there is a 20:1 (or more!) ratio. Smaller classes would improve the connection and interaction and behavior. We need to start treating children as the invaluable resources they are to our future and start pouring money into helping them develop into good, caring, educated members of our society. Instead of putting tax dollars into building multi-billion sports venues, create quality day care (much of the problem in kindergarteners probably stems from sub-standard child care from birth.) This is a bigger problem than just technology. We need to throw resources behind it.
She is right about today's #1 family problem: both parents and children spending too much time on phones, puters, tv. Get off the machines!
There is something to add on top of the emotional detachment cell phone usage brings. That alone is reason for parents and their children not to use them, but there is even more. the ions generated from phones and other Wifi slow down the cilia in our bodies, including the cilia in our brains and digestive tract. Those tiny 'wavers' have a tremendous impact on physical and mental performance. The sluggishness results in amyloid plaque! Do we really want children and parents to be developing amyloid plaque?
This needs to be said over and over! Whenever I tried to introduce relationship building exercises into my class, having tech free time, I got told they need to be on the computers. No. They are already on their devices all damn day. They need to know how to interact with each other - especially when things get difficult; which is more often than not. Recess isn’t enough to teach that - am I’m expecting tech to come into that any day now too. Sad state we’re headed to these days. Society has and is changing still - and the kids are getting left behind for real.
A side thought - but in our whole society the tail is wagging the dog. the tail is work - work should be FOR us- to allow us to earn money to support the lifestyle we would like, to provide for our family, and depending on our jobs, to fulfil us. Instead, work now crowds out any kind of time for lifestyle, takes us away from our family and grinds us down. This has to be wrong surely?
Until there are major systemic changes to the structure of business and work in general in the US that would allow sufficient financial wiggle room for parents to spend more time home with their kids, a lot of these issues are going to continue well into the future. Yes, kids need discipline, but parents need enough time outside of work to give it to them.
I disagree. Yes more time would help, but parents these days are known as being hoverparents who are constantly doting over the kids, yet at the same time ignoring them while on their phones. You have eyes and are out and about, how often do you see a parent being very firm with their kid while at the stores? Everything is a negotiation somehow. The kid is 5, and you can't get them out of the car? Parents act like they are locked in a battle of equals. No, you're the damn parent and you need to learn to be assertive and let the kid know that what you say goes, and that it's for a good reason. Without boundaries kids will never learn respect.
Load More Replies...Mother teaches High School, I watch this happen to her (but she is near retirement so is sticking it out now). My kids are seeing the same results, some teachers care to the core but the district policies fail them. Some teachers lost that drive long ago, and you can see it in the historical photos of the classes. If I could afford a private school I would, but to send my kids to one costs more than I make annually, and that is before the expenses like food and rent. It is a shame to lose a good teacher, but if we get more vocal like this we can remove common core (teaching for a test concept), excessive tech (useful, but dont use ONLY tech), not holding the child AND parent responsible, and more problems that repeatedly lead to failures. We can't be afraid to fail a student/parent, as it should be a team effort. More power to you! Is there an legitimate effort to do this? If so, where can I find it?
Kudos to her! I've been there on both sides. I had to tell teachers to let me know if my child wasn't acting correctly. I had to beg them because they were used to "not my child" mentality. I taught my daughter to act correctly, treat teachers with respect and if you get in trouble at school...your in twice the trouble when you get home.
I don't think it's the parents that have changed. They are as good and bad as always. It's more the respect toward education and institutions. Parents questioning teachers may have stopped them from beating kids, but it's also starting to undermine the teachers' teaching.
Don't know why you have been downvoted, you have a great point. Parent/teacher relationships are extremely important but both have to be on the same page whilst acknowledging their different roles.
Load More Replies...So let me get this straight. Essentially, this teacher quit on her students. She had a passion to do what is right and gave up because she could ensure the battle. whats that leave the kids with. Un-passionate teachers who dont stand up for whats right. I applause this woman for doing whats right to make her happy, but cant give the credit for being a quitter in something shes "passionate" about. Its a good story that created buzz. but what now. She gave up, the story has subsided and now shes selling beach body shakes to her new found following. SMH.
It's funny that the first post is on how the parents are on electronics yet she literally typed this on an electronic, and her grammar is horrific which explains why she is only a kindergarten teacher. Not to say kindergarten teachers can't be good my kindergarten teacher was fantastic
Growing up in public schools, I was never in a classroom with fewer than 50-60 students.with one teacher. No assistants, no support of any kind, just trying to keep the attention of that many students. As a student, we had to read our lessons at home and forget about learning anything at school. Still, we had to try to get the attention of the teacher if we had needed answers to problems. And by sixth grade, the teacher split our class and sent the best students outside, hoping the smartest student would, or could teach the other students something useful! We managed to get into trouble together? I survived and managed to graduate high school with above average grades. While I felt abondoned at times, i’m sure some students eventually dropped out because of neglect. It was a lose/lose situation for both students and teachers. I realize teaching has only become more difficult since more two-career couples are depending on schools to rear their kids.
I feel like as we head towards technological advancement, a tech responsibility class should be part of our education, (maybe for older students, in a non-preachy way) as well as meetings with parents about how to show their children to have a "healthy" relationship with their devices. (Again, in a non-preachy way.) ALL the nuances. 1. Yes, tech can be fun, nothing wrong with that, 2. but it can also be used for learning, 3. but also learning can be fun, 4. and also the tech can't teach you "everything".
Adding that: Sometimes, good old-fashioned falling-on-your-face mistakes are the best teachers... that, or teachers who have fallen on their faces, and learned, as most adults will have.
Load More Replies...The 1st point just makes me sad and angry at the same time. The lady is 100% right, this is the base of everything. I'm sorry that kids have to grow up alone with devices, without any security, called boundaries. I had a talk about this with my therapist once. I had the biggest freedom since I was 3. That sounds great, but I usually have anxiety and hard periods when I feel left alone with any problems, decisions. I didn't learn how to make choices, how to organize my life or how to connect with most of the people. I'm wondering why people usually don't have at least a tiny self-knowledge and accept: I can't make it right, so I probably shouldn't have kids (yet)! I'm a 37yo woman and I'm still hesitating whether I should become a parent. Because I've never had a normal example and I don't want to risk an innocent creature's life. I have doubts whether I could dedicate myself to real parenting and education. So I probably just won't.
my boys are 24 & 22 & we as parents have always & still do, been told that our boys are beautiful people
I was once told by a kinder teacher allow children to be themselves at home & boundaries outside in the community
Things really have gotten so bad for teachers. I remember when I was in high-school in the early 00's, my classmates and I were baffled by the way kids 1 year younger than us would behave. They couldn't even get along with the nicest teachers, which were almost universally loved by the rest of the student population. When kids with no more than 1-2 years older are themselves noticing a drastic change in younger students, something is clearly wrong. The vast majority of people need parenting school at this point. Parents now are spoiling their kids, but simultaneously not paying enough attention to them and letting the internet/media raise them. I also don't see kids band together to play outside, like it was when I was young. Thus kids are growing up entitled, lacking social skills and too often with a staggering lack of empathy.
Sounds like she was just in the wrong place, we've all been there at one time or another and we just move on to somewhere that appreciates us.....
Let's not forget the teachers who have also deteriorated! There's no discipline i schools today..
There is no discipline not because the teachers have "deteriorated" but because there's nothing the teachers can do to discipline the children if the discipline isn't continued at home
Load More Replies...Why do parents who want to adopt a child, get to be examined thoroughly, but any young girl can have a child, with absolutely no knowledge of how to raise it? Parenting should be a subject in school.
Only young girls have kids??!??? Let's complete get rid of the sperm donor
Load More Replies...And I actually met two college students that were going through the early childhood education programs to become teachers. They said part of their training included being instructed that they could not tell the children "no," they instead had to tell the children to "re-direct their energy." WTF?!? I'm sorry..if a child is about to do something dangerous and/or life threatening..I'm yelling "NO!" By the time you tell them to re-direct their energy, you may need to be calling for an ambulance.
Load More Replies...I really don't think that behavior based on fear is the answer. It breaks my heart that some parents do.
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