Parents Online Are Questioning The Bodily Autonomy Of Their Children And How To Teach Them Consent Regardless Of What Other Grown-Ups Say
Our society is well into a journey of how to ‘unlearn’ certain things that have been around for ages. For some reason, many habits and behaviors have been magically normalized so people are now trying to challenge these notions. One of these social aspects revolves around kids, adults, hugs, and kisses. While it seems like a sweet gesture to make the grandparents happy, kids giving free hugs and kisses to adults has become a heated topic in this online community and various social media outlets.
Bored Panda has already covered a mom calling out the aforementioned grandparents expecting their grandchildren to just shower them in hugs and kisses. And this time we’re diving deeper to hear out what parents have to say about their kids’ bodily autonomy and consent.
More info: Tumblr | BoredPanda | TikTok
Parents online are now not only teaching their kids what bodily autonomy is, but also rewarding the display of it
Image credits: curlyhairedone
These moms shared that they have no problems making others uncomfortable if it means that their kids know the value of bodily independence
Image credits: curlyhairedone
Parents online have been buzzing discussing that there is no shame in making someone uncomfortable by rewarding their children for displays of bodily autonomy. This mom that goes under the name of swedpea on Imgur is truly having her daughter’s back and confirming that saying no is actually ok and no guilt should arise from it. She shared that people who try to hug her daughter would give her looks when her daughter would politely say no to a hug. What the mom actually does is demonstrating that there is no need to do anything that one’s not comfortable with.
Some people need to be told told twice that kids do not want to be hugged or kissed and it’s their choice
Image credits: curlyhairedone
People who work with children have also shared their experience and expertise. User ineeduhnap, who works with five-year-olds, made sure to have a conversation about how everyone’s body belongs to themselves and no one else. They highlighted that even wanting to hug your friend should be first double-checked with them and if the answer is actually a no, it should be respected. Turns out that the kids actually didn’t even have a problem asking that all the time and when presented with a negative response, they were not put off and just went on with their life as usual.
Image credits: curlyhairedone
This other mom, Brittany Baxter, shared a video that went viral, sharing that she has been teaching her 2-year-old daughter consent and adults—how to respect that. The mom from Australia that Bored Panda wrote about a few months back was calling for the normalization of the fact that kids do not have to kiss and hug adults. This sparked quite a few debates and well, fetched Brittany over 58k likes on her viral video, showing that people do care about this social issue.
This mom on TikTok called for normalization of the fact that kids do not have to kiss and hug adults
Image credits: brittanybaxter_x
She gave an example of the grandparents and how they expect their grandchildren to shower them with love
Image credits: brittanybaxter_x
Brittany strongly stands by her opinion that kids and their bodies are not there to make anyone to feel more loved
Image credits: brittanybaxter_x
Brittany had a series of videos regarding the topic of children and consent, but in this particular one, she stresses that adults should be more helpful and considerate when it comes to accepting kids’ choice of declining to hug and kiss. She says that people shouldn’t complain that they need to ask permission from kids to hug, and that the most important feelings in this story are nobody’s but her daughter’s.
Image credits: brittanybaxter_x
Image credits: brittanybaxter_x
And here is the viral video Brittany posted on her TikTok
@brittanybaxter_xI said what I said… ##gentleparenting ##consent ##fyp♬ original sound – Brittany
Video credits: brittanybaxter_x
Users online shared their own experience and opinion, some even remembering what it was like to experience the lack of bodily autonomy in their childhood
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Normalize consent! I once saw a girl (4 yrs) in my brother's class who, on grandparents day, was getting forced to hug her grandparents my her mother. It had gotten to the point where she hid in the bathroom because she didn't want them hugging her. It broke my heart.
I heard of a 4-year-old boy whose maternal grandmother was all over him. When his paternal grandmother (who lived far) came on a visit, he yelled, "I don't like you!" She calmly said, "I don't like you either." They got along fine after that. I remember her from when I was a child and she was pretty good with little kids, respectful and able to talk to them.
Load More Replies... How needy are adults that they need a hug from a little kid to feel loved? How about acting like a grownup and getting to know a child?
My mother is this way. Just yesterday, she said to me that my kids must not love her anymore because they don't give her a hug when she tells them to give her one. She even started the fake crying crap and said that she is going to just go off into the wild and die because her hugs are "gross."
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I've said this somewhere before. This helps children defend themselves against sexual predators. They are most likely to be abused by someone they know, a relative, coach, teacher, neighbor... and it starts off small. So if you empower your child say no to a hug or kiss for grandma (or even mommy) if they don't want to, they're more likely to say no and tell on adults that creep them out.
But kids can easily be groomed into giving consent so even that may not work at times. I think adults should just be a little more physically distant with kids above the age of 5. I feel like kids need to get a sense of the sort of environment where hugs and kisses are acceptable.family gatherings where numerous adults are around ,ok. Empty classroom, no. It may sound extreme but bad touch can happen so fast and mess up a child's life.
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I'll also add that my childhood was FULL of unwanted touching that was a bit more devious than a hug or a kiss on a cheek. I attribute this fully to the lack of bodily autonomy and the domineering authoritarian parenting I received. Children were always to do what adults told them to, without question. "Backtalk" and "No" was met with a slap to the face. How was I to know that there were situations when it was ok to stand up for myself? I lived to please and gain the approval of adults. Surprise surprise! I'm 36 and learning about consent, and autonomy, and how not to be a people pleaser. Don't make your kids fight these battles all their lives.
I HATE when parents force their kids to hug me, no matter how long they've known me. My own nieces. They say "Give Aunt Mandi hugs/kisses" and I say "It's Ok, you don't have to" and I feel that makes the situation more awkward. Someone tell me something better to say. Please.
Be honest and say "I like to be asked if I want to hug someone and today I don't want to be hugged but I would like to bump elbows if that's ok with (insert name)". It may not be 100% comfortable at first but it's asserting your own bodily autonomy and showing parents that consent is important.... and it might be the first time the kid hears that it's ok to say "don't hug me" opening that dialogue is hero work :)
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Adults can be so weird about kids. I have never been the one rushing to hold babies or play with kids but they are always wanting to interact with me. I just take clues from kids how comfortable they are. I end up being the one being hugged! My mom sees a kid (or a pet) and wants to be their best friend and terrifies them eventually! Kids and animals usually have very good instincts about stupid humans.
They like you because you act as if they're adults. They also like to be respected.
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I hate the attitude that not kissing/hugging means a lack of love. Not only does this put pressure on the child to do something they don't want to do, but that kind of argument was quite insidious among high school boys in the late 80s/early 90s (when I was in school) who used similar tactics to cajole unwanted touching. Kudos to parents who are teaching their children not to be pressured into doing things that make them uncomfortable and not to give in to emotional manipulation.
100% We ask our own kids if we can give them a hug, because it’s THEIR choice! We’ve shared with them that they can hug us at ANY time, however, and the best ones are the surprise attack hugs! And we get them even though our kids are 12 and 15. 💕
I do this too but my husband forgets. I think he just can't put himself in their shoes.
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This thing always makes me cringe. I have a boy and a girl. While they were growing up it was really hard to NOT notice how each one was treated. People shake, fistbump or highfive the boy. People force the girl into huggin, kissing, seating in old creep's lap. Girls learn to shrink. Boys learn they are entitled space and respect. Girls learn to give themselves up and being used by other people (men). Boys learn they can literally take any girl if they insist enough. How much is enough is not clear. This is first lesson in rape culture and how it was created. It was same with all other children. Every time I say something against it - I'm overreacting, too sensitive, imagine things, it's all in my head, it's not a big deal... blah, blah, blah - made fun of my reaction. It is visible later in life - I'm 40 now, still treated like an object - men literally grab me by the waist and move me around if I'm somehow on their way. Try to do that with my husband, he has 1m own space around him.
It's good to know that we're improving generation by generation. I too grew up in a family where I was (and still am) forced to hug and kiss people and I've realized that here's the thing, the previous generation didn't knew about a lot of things and there's no point in shaming them. Let us all educate ourselves and try not to repeat the mistakes the previous generation did.
You know, I realized last night that if our mothers and grandmothers didn't put up with so much sexist bu11sh1t 50 and 60 and 80 years ago, we wouldn't be having to fight for our rights as human beings now. I'm kinda pi55ed off about this.
Load More Replies... Oh gosh this. My MIL once took hold of my then 2 or 3 year old sons arm because he did not want to be kissed. She was so mad when I took him away from her. But I won't let her force my children, no matter if she "just want's to show them her love". Sadly my husband did not back me up properly, in spite of agreeing with me when we discussed the topic before
Always tell your little ones is ok not to hug os kiss. I tought my niece its' ok to Hi-5 someone who is not your dad or mom.
A while back, I read a cute story about a little boy who wanted to hug a little girl at daycare before going home. She didn't want the hug, so his parents told him, "No hugs, wave bye-bye". After a few seconds, the little boy understood, then waved bye-bye to the little girl. When the family got home, the little boy ran over to the cat. The cat ran off, so the little boy waved and said, "No hugs, wave bye-bye."
Load More Replies... It's not exactly the kids who have to change but the adults around them.I stop hugging kids around the age of 6-7 because by that age they start to develop a strong sense of identity. It's a hug when I meet them and that's it. Kids need to be taught to develop a sense of personal space because not doing so can be dangerous as there are a lot or creeps out there looking for an opening. Also when kids of any age show discomfort or an unwillingness to engage in physical contact don't act all upset or something,it makes them feel like they owe you something when they don't.
https://www.boredpanda.com/mum-explains-consent-grandparents-right-to-hug-kiss-daughter/ repost
It absolutely is worth repeating because consent is a foreign concept to too many people.
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can this work the other way? i feel when i visit my nephews once a year, (i live on other side of the world) my sister forces them to give me a hug and kiss. not sure if they want to but i know it makes me uncomfortable at times being forced. (i have problems with touching, even my mom hugs me and i tense up) i love my family but I'm not a hugger... saying no just gets everyone paranoid like im weird and it was just easier growing up and faking it than having to deal with the lectures on how I'm strange.
If anything it was my grandma and tias that taught me about consent. Every time we would go to a party with my mom she would say ¨Hug everyone and tell them hi¨ I would ask ¨Even if we don't know them?¨ And she would say ¨Yes its rude not to say hi¨
I'm a school librarian whose son is long grown. I taught him that "no means no" by stopping playing, tickling, whatever, as soon as he said stop. This week, I'm reading "Who Wants a Hug" to my students, about a bear who keeps asking skunk for a hug. Skunk keeps saying no, and bear shrugs and says, OK" every time. Eventually skunk does want a hug, but it's on his time.
Absofragginglutley. I personally don't like to be touched apart from by my partner and daughter. Even hugging my mum or my sisters is not without an internal squirm. Not sure where it came from, but knowing my dad and his mother, possibly there.
I'm 60 and this article made me cringe thinking back to my childhood when at family reunions every auntie had to either hug the breath out of me or pinch my cheeks till they hurt while saying oh what cute dimples you have.
I always taught my daughter to say no. When I was a kid I had to hug and kiss everyone. My parents felt that was just good manners. I always hated it . My daughter was about 7 when a guy at a friend's party called to her" hey come here " she said no sorry I don't know you mister.. He then said " I'm not a pedophile or anything. I just want to ask you something " She said " no sir. you can ask me from this distance too. I can hear you " The guy got angry and said to me " your kid has no manners. She can approach me. I'm not some pedophile " I said 1st of all she said no. That doesn't mean she has no manners. She doesn't know you. And 2nd pedophiles don't walk around with a sign or the word pedo on their forehead. .. I didn't even think about anyone being a pedophile . To me its about setting boundaries for yourself. And feeling safe and comfortable, but he mentioned it himself. The man wasn't happy. But I told my daughter she did a good job. No means no.
My niece knows that she can say no to a hug or a kiss if she wants, she does that when she wants no one to touch her. but to us adults we treasure the times she says yes as we know they are something she wants to do. I don’t understand why people think it’s ok to force any child to have physical contact with them
As a touch averse adult, I wish there was a way to avoid hugs and that weird air kiss thing people do when they meet. Covid has been great for that one aspect. I want to be in control of who and how I let into my personal space, but it would really offend people who come in for a hug if I back off.
me getting grounded at 6 for telling my dad i don't want a hug: (O.o)
This is such an important thing, their no should mean no, not that some adult gets to have their way just because they’re the adult. I feel the same way when a parent asks to have a bite of the kids food, no is no. Teach them that their “no” means something. Age shouldn’t matter. Also don’t lie to your kids, those mashed up carrots are not sweet potatoes. If they only want something sweet just put a few drops of maple syrup or a little sprinkle of brown sugar on them. Make sure they see you do it. As a toddler my dr said no more chocolate milk. I pitched a fit but then mom put exactly 1 drop of chocolate syrup in my milk and that was enough to satisfy my desire for chocolate milk. lol
When I've said no its okay if he doesn't want to hug me, apparently because I don't want to force the poor little chap, that marks me out as a child hater. Because if I loved children, my need for hugs would be more important than their not wanting one.
This is a double standard because adults will also just pick up their kids without asking and carry them wherever they need to go. This is especially true if the kid doesn’t want to go. This builds resentment in the child for having to do something they don’t want to do, but the parent is forcing them to do. I would say going up and hugging them instead is a better thing to do BY FAR. If Tr*mp got more hugs as a kid he might have turned out a lot better.
I think what these people fail to realize is. If they were there more and got to know the child. The kid would probably be more affectionate. I just don't think some folks know how to build bonds like they used to. Can you imagine being an adult expecting a child that you hardly ever see to be affectionate towards you? Like uhhh, I wouldn't want to hug or kiss grandma Becky that I see twice a year either. That's just my thoughts on it.
my 14 mo grandson won't come to me when I'm in the front of the house, and his mom and my son are always telling him give grandma a hug, and I always tell them he doesn't have to. but when i go back to their bedroom, he smothers me with hugs and kisses.
I'm gonna ask a kid if it's okay if I can have a hug. No? Okay high five? No? Okay jazz hands? Still no? I respect that. Then imma mosey on. It's not that hard.
I’m almost surprised I agree with this woman. But it’s difficult to find the flaw here. Why should children (or anyone) have to be touched if they don’t want to be? Actually it still happens to me, if I think about it. But as a child I would majorly embarrass my mother because I was not outwardly affectionate to people. To this day I don’t meet her approval with regards to socializing but… well, at least there are moms out there like this one.
My daughter was 2 and her great uncle who is huge she never met tried to give her a kiss. She spit in his face and was terrified. I did not reprimand her. I did talk to her about what consent was in an age appropriate way. I told my uncle to never do that to anyone a child or adult. His feelings were hurt. Oh well he needed to understand what he did was wrong
Or a porcupine costume. I hear porcupines are not big on hugging.
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My mom never really told me not to or to hug but most of her friends would hug and I was kind of ok with that because I knew their kids as my friends. I didn't like it though when random friends of mom would hug me or pull me close for a one hand hug or even while taking pictures. I would be going over to my mom to stand in front of her and her friend would hold my hand and pull me a little into the frame even though mom told me were to stand. Overall like many others I was in a awkward and quiet phase too so saying Hi or greeting people would terrify me slightly.
Normalize consent! I once saw a girl (4 yrs) in my brother's class who, on grandparents day, was getting forced to hug her grandparents my her mother. It had gotten to the point where she hid in the bathroom because she didn't want them hugging her. It broke my heart.
I heard of a 4-year-old boy whose maternal grandmother was all over him. When his paternal grandmother (who lived far) came on a visit, he yelled, "I don't like you!" She calmly said, "I don't like you either." They got along fine after that. I remember her from when I was a child and she was pretty good with little kids, respectful and able to talk to them.
Load More Replies... How needy are adults that they need a hug from a little kid to feel loved? How about acting like a grownup and getting to know a child?
My mother is this way. Just yesterday, she said to me that my kids must not love her anymore because they don't give her a hug when she tells them to give her one. She even started the fake crying crap and said that she is going to just go off into the wild and die because her hugs are "gross."
Load More Replies... I've said this somewhere before. This helps children defend themselves against sexual predators. They are most likely to be abused by someone they know, a relative, coach, teacher, neighbor... and it starts off small. So if you empower your child say no to a hug or kiss for grandma (or even mommy) if they don't want to, they're more likely to say no and tell on adults that creep them out.
But kids can easily be groomed into giving consent so even that may not work at times. I think adults should just be a little more physically distant with kids above the age of 5. I feel like kids need to get a sense of the sort of environment where hugs and kisses are acceptable.family gatherings where numerous adults are around ,ok. Empty classroom, no. It may sound extreme but bad touch can happen so fast and mess up a child's life.
Load More Replies... I'll also add that my childhood was FULL of unwanted touching that was a bit more devious than a hug or a kiss on a cheek. I attribute this fully to the lack of bodily autonomy and the domineering authoritarian parenting I received. Children were always to do what adults told them to, without question. "Backtalk" and "No" was met with a slap to the face. How was I to know that there were situations when it was ok to stand up for myself? I lived to please and gain the approval of adults. Surprise surprise! I'm 36 and learning about consent, and autonomy, and how not to be a people pleaser. Don't make your kids fight these battles all their lives.
I HATE when parents force their kids to hug me, no matter how long they've known me. My own nieces. They say "Give Aunt Mandi hugs/kisses" and I say "It's Ok, you don't have to" and I feel that makes the situation more awkward. Someone tell me something better to say. Please.
Be honest and say "I like to be asked if I want to hug someone and today I don't want to be hugged but I would like to bump elbows if that's ok with (insert name)". It may not be 100% comfortable at first but it's asserting your own bodily autonomy and showing parents that consent is important.... and it might be the first time the kid hears that it's ok to say "don't hug me" opening that dialogue is hero work :)
Load More Replies... Adults can be so weird about kids. I have never been the one rushing to hold babies or play with kids but they are always wanting to interact with me. I just take clues from kids how comfortable they are. I end up being the one being hugged! My mom sees a kid (or a pet) and wants to be their best friend and terrifies them eventually! Kids and animals usually have very good instincts about stupid humans.
They like you because you act as if they're adults. They also like to be respected.
Load More Replies... I hate the attitude that not kissing/hugging means a lack of love. Not only does this put pressure on the child to do something they don't want to do, but that kind of argument was quite insidious among high school boys in the late 80s/early 90s (when I was in school) who used similar tactics to cajole unwanted touching. Kudos to parents who are teaching their children not to be pressured into doing things that make them uncomfortable and not to give in to emotional manipulation.
100% We ask our own kids if we can give them a hug, because it’s THEIR choice! We’ve shared with them that they can hug us at ANY time, however, and the best ones are the surprise attack hugs! And we get them even though our kids are 12 and 15. 💕
I do this too but my husband forgets. I think he just can't put himself in their shoes.
Load More Replies... This thing always makes me cringe. I have a boy and a girl. While they were growing up it was really hard to NOT notice how each one was treated. People shake, fistbump or highfive the boy. People force the girl into huggin, kissing, seating in old creep's lap. Girls learn to shrink. Boys learn they are entitled space and respect. Girls learn to give themselves up and being used by other people (men). Boys learn they can literally take any girl if they insist enough. How much is enough is not clear. This is first lesson in rape culture and how it was created. It was same with all other children. Every time I say something against it - I'm overreacting, too sensitive, imagine things, it's all in my head, it's not a big deal... blah, blah, blah - made fun of my reaction. It is visible later in life - I'm 40 now, still treated like an object - men literally grab me by the waist and move me around if I'm somehow on their way. Try to do that with my husband, he has 1m own space around him.
It's good to know that we're improving generation by generation. I too grew up in a family where I was (and still am) forced to hug and kiss people and I've realized that here's the thing, the previous generation didn't knew about a lot of things and there's no point in shaming them. Let us all educate ourselves and try not to repeat the mistakes the previous generation did.
You know, I realized last night that if our mothers and grandmothers didn't put up with so much sexist bu11sh1t 50 and 60 and 80 years ago, we wouldn't be having to fight for our rights as human beings now. I'm kinda pi55ed off about this.
Load More Replies... Oh gosh this. My MIL once took hold of my then 2 or 3 year old sons arm because he did not want to be kissed. She was so mad when I took him away from her. But I won't let her force my children, no matter if she "just want's to show them her love". Sadly my husband did not back me up properly, in spite of agreeing with me when we discussed the topic before
Always tell your little ones is ok not to hug os kiss. I tought my niece its' ok to Hi-5 someone who is not your dad or mom.
A while back, I read a cute story about a little boy who wanted to hug a little girl at daycare before going home. She didn't want the hug, so his parents told him, "No hugs, wave bye-bye". After a few seconds, the little boy understood, then waved bye-bye to the little girl. When the family got home, the little boy ran over to the cat. The cat ran off, so the little boy waved and said, "No hugs, wave bye-bye."
Load More Replies... It's not exactly the kids who have to change but the adults around them.I stop hugging kids around the age of 6-7 because by that age they start to develop a strong sense of identity. It's a hug when I meet them and that's it. Kids need to be taught to develop a sense of personal space because not doing so can be dangerous as there are a lot or creeps out there looking for an opening. Also when kids of any age show discomfort or an unwillingness to engage in physical contact don't act all upset or something,it makes them feel like they owe you something when they don't.
https://www.boredpanda.com/mum-explains-consent-grandparents-right-to-hug-kiss-daughter/ repost
It absolutely is worth repeating because consent is a foreign concept to too many people.
Load More Replies... can this work the other way? i feel when i visit my nephews once a year, (i live on other side of the world) my sister forces them to give me a hug and kiss. not sure if they want to but i know it makes me uncomfortable at times being forced. (i have problems with touching, even my mom hugs me and i tense up) i love my family but I'm not a hugger... saying no just gets everyone paranoid like im weird and it was just easier growing up and faking it than having to deal with the lectures on how I'm strange.
If anything it was my grandma and tias that taught me about consent. Every time we would go to a party with my mom she would say ¨Hug everyone and tell them hi¨ I would ask ¨Even if we don't know them?¨ And she would say ¨Yes its rude not to say hi¨
I'm a school librarian whose son is long grown. I taught him that "no means no" by stopping playing, tickling, whatever, as soon as he said stop. This week, I'm reading "Who Wants a Hug" to my students, about a bear who keeps asking skunk for a hug. Skunk keeps saying no, and bear shrugs and says, OK" every time. Eventually skunk does want a hug, but it's on his time.
Absofragginglutley. I personally don't like to be touched apart from by my partner and daughter. Even hugging my mum or my sisters is not without an internal squirm. Not sure where it came from, but knowing my dad and his mother, possibly there.
I'm 60 and this article made me cringe thinking back to my childhood when at family reunions every auntie had to either hug the breath out of me or pinch my cheeks till they hurt while saying oh what cute dimples you have.
I always taught my daughter to say no. When I was a kid I had to hug and kiss everyone. My parents felt that was just good manners. I always hated it . My daughter was about 7 when a guy at a friend's party called to her" hey come here " she said no sorry I don't know you mister.. He then said " I'm not a pedophile or anything. I just want to ask you something " She said " no sir. you can ask me from this distance too. I can hear you " The guy got angry and said to me " your kid has no manners. She can approach me. I'm not some pedophile " I said 1st of all she said no. That doesn't mean she has no manners. She doesn't know you. And 2nd pedophiles don't walk around with a sign or the word pedo on their forehead. .. I didn't even think about anyone being a pedophile . To me its about setting boundaries for yourself. And feeling safe and comfortable, but he mentioned it himself. The man wasn't happy. But I told my daughter she did a good job. No means no.
My niece knows that she can say no to a hug or a kiss if she wants, she does that when she wants no one to touch her. but to us adults we treasure the times she says yes as we know they are something she wants to do. I don’t understand why people think it’s ok to force any child to have physical contact with them
As a touch averse adult, I wish there was a way to avoid hugs and that weird air kiss thing people do when they meet. Covid has been great for that one aspect. I want to be in control of who and how I let into my personal space, but it would really offend people who come in for a hug if I back off.
me getting grounded at 6 for telling my dad i don't want a hug: (O.o)
This is such an important thing, their no should mean no, not that some adult gets to have their way just because they’re the adult. I feel the same way when a parent asks to have a bite of the kids food, no is no. Teach them that their “no” means something. Age shouldn’t matter. Also don’t lie to your kids, those mashed up carrots are not sweet potatoes. If they only want something sweet just put a few drops of maple syrup or a little sprinkle of brown sugar on them. Make sure they see you do it. As a toddler my dr said no more chocolate milk. I pitched a fit but then mom put exactly 1 drop of chocolate syrup in my milk and that was enough to satisfy my desire for chocolate milk. lol
When I've said no its okay if he doesn't want to hug me, apparently because I don't want to force the poor little chap, that marks me out as a child hater. Because if I loved children, my need for hugs would be more important than their not wanting one.
This is a double standard because adults will also just pick up their kids without asking and carry them wherever they need to go. This is especially true if the kid doesn’t want to go. This builds resentment in the child for having to do something they don’t want to do, but the parent is forcing them to do. I would say going up and hugging them instead is a better thing to do BY FAR. If Tr*mp got more hugs as a kid he might have turned out a lot better.
I think what these people fail to realize is. If they were there more and got to know the child. The kid would probably be more affectionate. I just don't think some folks know how to build bonds like they used to. Can you imagine being an adult expecting a child that you hardly ever see to be affectionate towards you? Like uhhh, I wouldn't want to hug or kiss grandma Becky that I see twice a year either. That's just my thoughts on it.
my 14 mo grandson won't come to me when I'm in the front of the house, and his mom and my son are always telling him give grandma a hug, and I always tell them he doesn't have to. but when i go back to their bedroom, he smothers me with hugs and kisses.
I'm gonna ask a kid if it's okay if I can have a hug. No? Okay high five? No? Okay jazz hands? Still no? I respect that. Then imma mosey on. It's not that hard.
I’m almost surprised I agree with this woman. But it’s difficult to find the flaw here. Why should children (or anyone) have to be touched if they don’t want to be? Actually it still happens to me, if I think about it. But as a child I would majorly embarrass my mother because I was not outwardly affectionate to people. To this day I don’t meet her approval with regards to socializing but… well, at least there are moms out there like this one.
My daughter was 2 and her great uncle who is huge she never met tried to give her a kiss. She spit in his face and was terrified. I did not reprimand her. I did talk to her about what consent was in an age appropriate way. I told my uncle to never do that to anyone a child or adult. His feelings were hurt. Oh well he needed to understand what he did was wrong
Or a porcupine costume. I hear porcupines are not big on hugging.
Load More Replies... My mom never really told me not to or to hug but most of her friends would hug and I was kind of ok with that because I knew their kids as my friends. I didn't like it though when random friends of mom would hug me or pull me close for a one hand hug or even while taking pictures. I would be going over to my mom to stand in front of her and her friend would hold my hand and pull me a little into the frame even though mom told me were to stand. Overall like many others I was in a awkward and quiet phase too so saying Hi or greeting people would terrify me slightly.
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