Woman Has Been Brother’s “Spare” Since Her Birth, Refuses To Donate Kidney To Him Decades Later

In his controversial bestseller “The Spare,” released several years ago, Prince Harry claimed that the British royal family allegedly expected him to become the actual savior sibling for his elder brother. Yes, a blood donor, organ donor, and everything related.

This sparked a wave of public outrage after the book’s release, but as it turns out, similar cases also occur in ordinary families, far removed from the thrones. As, for example, happened to the user u/Zestyclose-Second440, the author of the story we’ll tell you today.

More info: Reddit

We often say that any person is unique and comes into this world with their distinct goal – but the fact is that this is nothing but a lie

Woman with baby embraced by man, representing sacrifice and empowerment after lifetime of family challenges.

Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The author of the post is now 32 years old, and she has two elder brothers, 34 and 37 years old, but she only maintains relationships with the middle bro

Text post about a woman refusing to be a kidney donor for her brother after a lifetime of sacrifice as spare parts.

Text of woman sharing story as a savior sibling used as spare parts for her brother before saying no after sacrifice

Text about a woman conceived as spare parts for her brother who finally says no after a lifetime of sacrifice.

Woman conceived as spare parts for brother donates umbilical cord and bone marrow, ending a lifetime of sacrifice.

Image credits: Zestyclose-Second440

Young boy lying in hospital bed with medical equipment nearby, highlighting themes of sacrifice and spare parts concept.

Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Both the author’s and her middle brother’s purpose of coming into this world was to be a spare for their sick elder sibling

Text excerpt showing a woman’s early childhood affected by being conceived as spare parts for her brother.

Text excerpt showing a woman’s story of donating body parts to save her brother, highlighting sacrifice and bravery.

Text excerpt describing limited interaction with a sick brother in hospital, reflecting sacrifice and family dynamics.

Text excerpt describing a woman’s lifetime sacrifice and struggle as spare parts for her brother and finally saying no.

Text excerpt from a woman conceived as spare parts for her brother sharing sacrifices and lack of parental support.

Image credits: Zestyclose-Second440

Young boy in hospital bed with medical equipment and flowers nearby, representing sacrifice and family struggle.

Image credits: Wavebreak Media / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Since her very first day, the author became the regular blood and bone marrow donor for her brother ill with cancer – until he finally got well at 14

Alt text: Woman conceived as spare parts for her brother breaks free after a lifetime of sacrifice and says no to further demands

Text excerpt about a woman conceived as spare parts for her brother coping with family crisis and sacrifice.

Woman conceived as spare parts for brother facing kidney donation surgery after years of sacrifice and family pressure.

Text excerpt describing a woman’s refusal after lifelong sacrifice as spare parts for her brother during a tense phone call.

Text excerpt about receiving multiple messages and threats from relatives after a woman conceived as spare parts for her brother says no.

Text excerpt about guilt and kidney donation reflecting a woman conceived as spare parts sacrificing for her brother.

Image credits: Zestyclose-Second440

Young man sitting on a couch looking thoughtfully at his phone in a modern living room setting

Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)

However, both the parents and the elder brother kept mistreating the younger kids badly, so they both left home after coming of age

Text from a woman conceived as spare parts for her brother expressing her struggle and decision to finally say no after years of sacrifice.

Text on a white background reading so in the interest of perspective AITA for refusing to donate to him referencing sacrifice and family decisions.

Text on a white background explaining the timeline of surgery and testing health checks before arrival.

Woman with a contemplative expression, symbolizing sacrifice and saying no after being conceived as spare parts for her brother.

Text on phone screen showing a woman explaining why she stopped donating as spare parts for her brother after a lifetime of sacrifice

Text showing a woman’s statement about refusing organ donations after being conceived as spare parts for her brother.

Text about a woman conceived as spare parts for her brother discussing his cancer and treatments she faced.

Text excerpt discussing a woman’s experience living as spare parts for her brother and her lifetime of sacrifice.

Alt text: Text excerpt about a woman describing leaving home at 18 with only important documents after a lifetime of sacrifice.

Text about CPS involvement and challenges faced by a woman conceived as spare parts for her brother.

Image credits: Zestyclose-Second440

Recently, the mom demanded that the author donate her kidney to the eldest bro – but this time the woman firmly said No

So, the Original poster (OP) explains that she is originally from South America and is the third child of her parents, after older brothers “Drew” and “Mark.” Both the author and Mark were essentially born with the sole purpose of saving their older sibling when he was diagnosed with cancer at age two.

Mark turned out to be unsuitable due to his own health issues, so our heroine was born – and literally from the first days of her life, she was Drew’s donor. Blood, bone marrow, stem cells – the little girl was in pain and scared, but her mother always told her to just endure. And she endured – she simply had no choice.

Meanwhile, Mark and the OP were essentially left on their own – their parents’ undivided attention was focused on the hospital room where Drew lived. There were procedures, doctors – but also the best gifts, gaming consoles, and whatnot. When Drew finally recovered at 14, his parents’ attitude didn’t change. He was a typical golden child, and his treatment of his younger siblings, alas, was just bullying.

Both the author and Mark moved to Europe, and now, in their 30s, they maintain relationships only with each other. So when the OP’s mother recently called in the middle of her workday (she works for the police), she knew something extraordinary had happened. And so it was. It turned out that Drew, who had taken to the bottle in recent years, urgently needed a kidney donor.

Yes, you read that correctly – even decades later, the mother expected the OP to fly right over and meekly donate her kidney to her bro. And when our heroine said No, she was immediately met with a barrage of insults. The climax came when the mother frankly admitted that “this is what she was made for.” The OP had had enough of it. She just hung up and decided to pour out her feelings online.

Man in hospital gown sitting on bed, appearing contemplative, with medical equipment in the background.

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

In fact, the issue of savior siblings is highly debated worldwide – after all, the procedure essentially involves genetic selection of embryos based on illness and compatibility with the older child. The medical effectiveness of this approach is undeniable, but its ethical implications are highly questionable. For example, in some European countries, this approach is permitted, while in others, it is prohibited.

The story of Adam Nash, the first savior sibling in human history, is quite well known. He was born to donate cord blood for his sister, Molly, who had Fanconi anemia. It was also crucial that Adam avoid becoming ill himself.

The process was medically successful – both siblings survived – but its ethics remain questionable even a quarter of a century later. And yes, in South America today, there are no specialized regulations governing such processes, as, for example, is noted in this paper. However, in the story we describe, the situation is somewhat different.

Firstly, based on the siblings’ ages (they are all quite older than Adam Nash), their parents were likely simply trying to conceive saviors for their eldest child – but their behavior subsequently appears completely outrageous and unreasonable. Incidentally, this was also noted by numerous commenters on the original post.

According to the responders, our heroine did the right thing by refusing to donate – after all, she had already suffered so much to ensure her brother was alive and well. Almost all commenters firmly believed the author has already given her bro everything she could, and now she owes nothing to anyone. So do you, our dear readers, also share this view?

Most people in the comments claimed that the author did the right thing, and that she actually owes nothing to anyone

Screenshot of an online discussion about a woman conceived as spare parts for her brother deciding to say no after a lifetime of sacrifice.

Text conversation about a woman discussing multiple bone marrow donations made as a sacrifice for her brother.

Screenshot of a Reddit discussion about continuing a career with one kidney, relating to woman conceived as spare parts.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing family toxicity and emotional impact on a woman conceived as spare parts for her brother.

Reddit user explaining health risks and donor qualifications related to long-term kidney donation in a detailed comment.

Text post on a social media platform discussing a woman conceived as spare parts for her brother asserting her right to autonomy.

Screenshot of a text post discussing a woman conceived as spare parts for her brother saying no after a lifetime of sacrifice.

Alt text: Woman conceived as spare parts for her brother shares her story of sacrifice and finally saying no to further donations

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