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“My Husband Thinks I Should Fake An Apology”: Mom Forces Her 12-Year-Old’s Friend To Wear A Seat Belt In Her Car, Ends Up In A Feud With The Friend’s Mom
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“My Husband Thinks I Should Fake An Apology”: Mom Forces Her 12-Year-Old’s Friend To Wear A Seat Belt In Her Car, Ends Up In A Feud With The Friend’s Mom

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It is still baffling to think that there are people who would willingly refuse to put on a seat belt—an automotive implement designed particularly to increase a person’s chances of survival in case of an accident, regardless of who or what caused it.

And what is even more baffling is that this sort of behavior doesn’t change and is even passed on to future generations, perpetuating a vicious cycle of error that only gets worse.

And then they get mad about being told to do something that should be common sense, but is also backed up by laws for a very good reason. This is that story.

More info: Reddit

Enforcing rules upon kids is tough, but it’s even tougher when said rules should also be enforced on the parents

Image credits: Nicki Dugan Pogue (not the actual photo)

Meet Reddit user SafeTaro. Taro is a mother of a 12-year-old daughter who had a friend, Danielle.

One day, Danielle’s mom suggested Taro carpool her daughter, as well as Danielle and her 14-year-old older brother: Danielle’s mom would drive them to school, and Taro would pick them up after. She agreed.

Turns out, neither Danielle, nor her brother, are particularly fond of seat belts. Taro would constantly have trouble getting the two to put their seat belts on. This was a no-argument thing for the mom as she had lost a friend in a car accident—something that could have been prevented if only a seat belt was worn.

This mom shared how her daughter’s friend and her brother refused to put on seat belts, and ended up being ‘the bad guy’ all the while costing her daughter a friend

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Image credits: u/SafeTaro

While the kids’ hate for seat belts never went away, at least the arguments stopped. Until one day when, having picked up the kids from school, Taro needed to pop by the post office. During that minute or two she was out of the car, those two took their seat belts off.

Again, the kids began absolutely refusing to put it back on. So, the mom decided that if they didn’t put it on, they wouldn’t be going anywhere. Demands on both sides went back and forth for 45 minutes, parents were called (but to no result) until finally the kids caved and were brought home.

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Image credits: u/SafeTaro

But there’s more. Taro comes home, gets a call from Danielle’s mom. Gets yelled at for making the son late for a soccer game. And no, Danielle’s mom doesn’t really want to accept the fact that they were in someone else’s car and should have obeyed their rules. The two ended up agreeing that carpooling isn’t a good idea.

On top of it all, Danielle is now not allowed to be friends with Taro’s 12-year-old until Taro apologizes for all of this. The daughter is upset and won’t speak to her, the dad thinks she should just fake an apology, effectively nearly nobody’s on her side. Except for Reddit, who found out about the story in an AITA post.

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Image credits: u/SafeTaro

Taro shared her story with the internet, trying to figure out who was wrong here. She wasn’t. Besides people saying that it was just plain wrong to teach kids that seat belts are irrelevant, they also pointed out that arguing with another adult, let alone one concerned about safety, is just plain rude.

Others pointed out that it’s also the law (at least in most western countries). And, in fact, Danielle’s mom is the one who’s supposed to apologize here for raising kids who are blatantly disrespectful. This is besides the point that, if the kids somehow continue to be friends, this behavior could affect Taro’s daughter.

Well, the internet ruled that she wasn’t wrong to ask for something that is not only the law, but also ensures safety

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The post ended up receiving support from over 14,000 users in the form of upvotes, with over 2,000 of them commenting, and with the top comment getting even more upvotes—nearly 24,000. The story was also covered on a couple of news sites.

You can read more responses under the post on Reddit, but before you go, tell us your thoughts on this in the comment section below!

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robert-thornburrow avatar
Robert T
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the UK it is the driver's legal responsibility to ensure that children wear seatbelts. It doesn't matter whose children they are. To quote the highway code: "The driver MUST ensure that all children under 14 years of age in cars, vans and other goods vehicles wear seat belts or sit in an approved child restraint where required."

corytollman avatar
Cory Tollman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm pretty sure it's the same in the US. I think the driver can even be ticketed for any person not wearing a seatbelt in the vehicle, even adults. I find it amazing that there are still people fighting seatbelts. It was first working its way to becoming a law when I was a kid and even then all the statistics showed that it saved lives and that the whole "trapped in a burning car" wasn't as nearly likely to happen as an un-seatbelted person being thrown from the car and killed, usually with the automobile rolling over them. I have heard of people not wearing seatbelts because of all the other safety features in automobiles now. Air bags really work a lot better if you are also wearing a seatbelt.

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saragregory0508 avatar
NsG
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not having a great day,so my inner bitch is rearing her head and wanting to place anonymous calls to the police about when Danielle's mom takes her to school. See how her mom likes being fined for not making her kids wear seatbelts. I'd keep doing it too until the kids learn to OBEY THE F*CKING LAW or get taken off their CRIMINAL mother and placed with someone who will get them to RESPECT the law. Honestly, this one has me not just spitting feathers but the whole d*mn bird

delphinum4 avatar
Zophra
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But if these non-seat belted children were injured in an accident, I'm sure this driving mother would be blamed or sued since she is the adult and it is a law. Totally agreed with the OP.

robert-thornburrow avatar
Robert T
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not only that, but a non-seatbelted child in the back could injure or kill people in the front seats. Tie the little projectiles down!

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zora24_1 avatar
Trillian
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My car, my rules. Plus I would get the fine for my passengers not wearing seatbelts if caught. What is WRONG with those "parents" by the way? If my kids did this, THEY would get the lecture and I'd thank the mom for insisting.

freyathewanderer_1 avatar
Freya the Wanderer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My father was very strict about wearing seat belts. He once said that they should be called "life belts." Many a police officer, EMT or firefighter could tell you at least one tragic story about some knot-head who would have survived - or not been horribly and permanently injured - had he/she been wearing a seat belt.

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zedrapazia avatar
Zedrapazia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the street I live at, around 15 years ago, a 5 years old crashed through the windshield of her parents car and died right on the spot, as the car had to emergency brake after a horse ran at the street, and the kid wasn't seatbelted. She sat in the middle of the back seat, nothing stopped her from being thrown through the whole car. Dear parents, make sure your kids always wear their seatbelt. You'll never forgive yourself when not wearing one kills your own baby.

lunanik avatar
Nikki Sevven
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Next time, call the police non-emergency number and report that you're watching another person's children, and they won't put on their seatbelts. The police will have a quite interesting talk with that mom.

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they have time. Always cite it as a "child welfare cehck" or "wellness check for minors". That phrasing gets their attention, I was taught.

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chicagoslooper avatar
Chicago Dog Lover
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And please seatbelt your pets for their safety and yours!!! If they don't like it, tough, just as is true with the kids here. And a net does NOT work as a restraint!

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The cats are always in carriers, which themselves are belted (through the handle) to the seat. Scruffy has a harness that clips to the seat, so he can sit up or lay down while we’re driving, but won’t fly through the windshield in a collision.

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allyonora avatar
Andrea Pereira
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Danielle's mother may have a problem in her hands if she doesn't nip her daughter tendencies in the bud. That's was not simply disobeying, it was a power play. Good for OP to not allow this type of behavior in front of her own daughter.

wianjama avatar
Rissie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not complying with the responsible adult like that is pretty tricky behavior indeed. But by the sounds of it, the apple really doesn't fall too far from the tree. Because what sane adult tries this little piece of powerplay, where you threaten to withhold something from someone's kid if they don't give in about something that they are right about. Better no friends than these people. Ditch them.

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donotreplytokjk avatar
Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The OP is right, this is a hill to die on. If you tell your daughter it's okay to break the law and endanger kids because doing what's right might make them less popular... what does that tell the kid about other stupid teen behavior? What about in the years to come, when her peers want to drive recklessly, try dangerous drugs, pull dangerous pranks that involve breaking and entering, spending the night in that haunted house, play with their dad's gun, or all the dangerous idiocy stuff teens get up to? Do you want to tell your kid that she has to please others and go along with the group even though they're wrong, or do you want to tell her she has to stand up for doing what's right - what will keep people from getting killed?

iblowsheep avatar
iblowsheep
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Danielle's Mom is a piece of s**t. Only explanation needed is to her daughter about how unreasonable Danielle's Mother is and that it is her fault why she can't see her friend.

takpozehnani avatar
Cheri Aline Sydney
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should also let her daughter know that if Danielle has this behavior in general, she probably saved her from getting into trouble because of Danielle... This type of rebellion doesn't end well on many fronts!

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marielancaster avatar
Marie Lancaster
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I got into an accident with a semi. I was only going a few blocks to drop my 9 month old at daycare. My light turned green when I was in the intersection a semi ran the red light and hit me. Car totaled. Me and my baby were both properly buckled. 9 month old didn't have a mark on her, she thought it was funny. I sprained my wrist and neck but was okay. The car seat save my child's life and a seat belt saved mine. I wasn't even out of my own neighborhood. I don't understand how a parent can condone their kids not being safe?

takpozehnani avatar
Cheri Aline Sydney
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Glad, Marie, that you were wearing a seat belt and the baby was properly in the car seat... The angels have an easier time watching over us when they have our cooperation... Glad you were both survivors!

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abdk333 avatar
K Witmer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This women could go to prison if there was an accident and those kids got hurt. Wtf is wrong w people that they don't care if their kids die just to win an argument that's 100% to begin with? This is what trump brought out of the woodwork. Not only terrorists but the mind numbingly stupid people think they can say and do whatever they want and say it's an opinion backed by lies. It's time to start charging people for crimes when they spread disinformation knowingly and when they decide to kill people out of arrogance. Fines that's the only way to shut these pos people up hit them in the wallet.

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So this mom has an accdient by no fault of her own ----- someone ran a red light ----- and her son who isn't wearing a seatbelt is essentially beheaded by a third vhicle that couldn't stop in time, b/c he went flying out the windshield. Happened in real life. And that's why you wear your seatbelt. His ister in the car had a broken arm. She's still alive. His mother killed herself years later over the son's death. So, yeah, WEAR THE SEATBELTS. I knew the daughter. Good person, horrible nightmares.

bcgrote avatar
Brandy Grote
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's the LAW. I'm not getting a ticket because your brats aren't following the law. We tell people the car won't start unless everyone's buckled in, sorry, it came that way. But it's generally not an issue because we drive sensible people, mostly....

kayrose avatar
RoseTheMad
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do what my college did during a lecture about driving safely - show those brats pictures of car crashes and their victims. It'll shock/disgust/scare some sense into them.

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those are the kind of films we had to watch during Driver Ed classes in high school, which were taught the semester before Driver Training (actually in one of those cars with two sets of wheels and pedals). We were 15 almost 16 at the time and the films were pretty graphic, for good reason. I turned 16 in 1976, which was before all the mandatory seatbelt laws went into effect, but even then we were taught to wear them at all times. Cars are way more safe now than they were 45 years ago, so it was wise to teach new drivers to use seatbelts—-even if the standard belts were only the lap belt without the attached shoulder belt, something was still better than nothing. Besides, I went to high school in SGV, so it was even one important to wear one, as we were going to be future freeway commuters.

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anavicenteferreira avatar
Ana Ferreira
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aren't seatbelts mandatory where this person lives? Here you get fined if you're not wearing one, and if a minor (or an adult with severe cognitive issues) is found not wearing their seatbelt, the driver gets fined.

valisbourne avatar
Valisbourne Spiritforge
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd have apologized to them. In front of their mother. Something along the lines of "I'm sorry. I'm sorry your mother raised you to be little punks. I'm sorry you ever got to know my daughter and I'm sorry I didn't kick your little butts out of the car sooner". Then again, I really hate this sort of attitude. I don't care how old you are, if it's not your car it's not your rules.

potterheadhereagain avatar
D S
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That would put the blame on the kids though... I think it would be better to say something like this " Im really sorry your parents arent doing all they can to make sure you´re safe. That they not only disregard the law, but also your safety and wellbeing and that their entitlement and lack of knowlegde makes them think they are owed and apology rather than realizing they´re the ones at fault. I am really sorry those are the parents who you´ve gotten in life".

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jeffrequier_1 avatar
Requiem
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Id put fear in the kid since they arent 18 and its the Drivers responsibility for children in the other seats

gemmelltastic avatar
Got Myself 4 Dwarves
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How are seatbelts even considered optional by kids? From day one they're in a car they are suitably strapped in so it's something they would grow up with knowing that's just how it is? I've 4 kids (hinted at by my username) from age 15 to 4, not once have I had to argue with them to wear a seatbelt. The fact these kids refuse is totally the parents fault as they've clearly been taught they don't need one. I would totally refuse to move the car the same as the OP did.

natalybills avatar
VogueGal
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. In many Continents and Countries, it is offendable ticket for not wearing seatbelts. Kudos to you for enforcing the rule to these two spoiled-brats. Some people are not supposed to have kids, this person is one of them, she sets a bad example to her own kids and sounds like your daughter is better off without them since they could potentially be a bad influence in the long-term. Please do not apologize. You didn't do anything wrong!

douglasmock avatar
Douglas Mock
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Call child protective services on her (what she is doing is illegal child abuse) and make sure they arrest her at the school in front of everyone.

jmchoto avatar
Jo Choto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nothing to do with the rules. It is THE LAW and as the driver, whether in UK or US, you would face steep fines and possibly other charges for child endangerment. If someone charges you with taking care of their child, you have the same responsibilities to them as your own child in loco parentis, and the same obligations to follow the law and maintain their safety. I get what a horrible stress it is for your daughter at an impressionable age, but she is old enough for you to have a serious talk with her about 1) the law, 2) car safety, 3) your legal responsibilities when the kids are in your car and 4) standing up for what is right, even when it's difficult. That is not a family you want to be close to, and at some point, she will understand that.

potterheadhereagain avatar
D S
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If in an accident wouldnt this mother be legally responsible for those kids not wearing seatbelts? Besides being illegal, its also dangerous. I wouldnt apologize either. If someone needs to apologize its the entitled mother who thinks someone owes her an apology for not putting her kids lifes at risk. Do these people not like their children?

neilbidle avatar
Devil's Advocate
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Over 14, it's up to them, under 14 it's the responsibility, in law, of the driver. At least in the UK, so tough on them and you shouldn't have had to say it was "your rules" when it's *THE* rules

jessica-bertram1 avatar
Jessica Bertram
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

but when someone is in my car, i don't give 2 sh!ts how old they are, they are properly restrained, or they get out. My car, my rules. i can't live with myself if someone is killed on my drive time. even an adult who is old enough to choose to risk their own neck and leave their seatbelt off. EVERYONE belts up in my car or they find another ride.

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tararay13 avatar
Tara Raay
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You get fined for not wearing a seat belt(In Canada). Also there’s the chance your child could DIE if you get into an accident.

zeljkoklaric78_1 avatar
Bernd Herbert
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m amazed that „not wearing a seatbealt“ is still a thing. Well, should have known…..anti vaxxers are still a thing, too!

ajones_1 avatar
A Jones
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah I agree with NTA, seatbelts can help prevent terrible injury/death/liability. There be laws also about seat belts as well. heck wearing a seat belt for even short trips (like around the block) had saved me, I was a passenger of a car for a short trip and we slid on some ice and almost got into an accident. This wasn't too long of a time when I was in another car as a passenger that got t-boned. I was next to the door that got crushed. Thank goodness I wore a seat belt (had only whiplash). Wear seat belts folks, regardless of who you are and the duration of the trip.

heyoumakemyday avatar
Antonia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same in The Netherlands. My youngest son (3y) took his seatbelt off wile I was driving. He had a choise, step out of the car or leave the seatbelt on. No discussion.

memawjohnston2005 avatar
Deb Johnston
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even here in Texas if you are under 17 it is a law that you have to wear a seat belt, even in the back seats. If the mom got pulled over, she would be ticketed for the kids not in seat belts.

ljamie04 avatar
Hollysmom
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the f' is wrong with people and their sense of entitlement and belief that the law, and common sense, doesn't apply to them? This country had gone completely f'ng crazy

kaylaj avatar
Kayla J
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was in a head on car accident where I broke both of my femurs. Other than the broken bones, the seat belt bruise took the longest to heal and it felt like I had taken a punch from prime Ali. That and the airbag stopped me from slamming my head God only knows where. Your daughter is upset now, but spending time with Danielle and her family could lead her to one day not buckling up here, there, and then who knows what could happen. Plenty of people understand the other side and hopefully your daughter never has to.

magrudzinski avatar
Mark Grudzinski
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are seatbelt laws in almost every state. Not only is her anti-seatbelt position ill-informed and stupid, it's probably also illegal.

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seat belts save lives and are not negotiable. This woman sounds entitled and so do her children. I would not apologize but I would explain to the daughter that the one that stopped the friendship is Danielle's mother. What kind of person raises their children to think that seat belts are unnecessary?

blue1steven avatar
Donkey boi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was a kid I used to take my seatbelt off on long journeys to get more comfortable. The second my dad noticed he'd find a quiet street and 'practice an emergency stop'. After I flew off the seat he'd just look at me and say 'Put your f*****g seatbelt on or get hurt, which is it?!'

itzel-ocampo avatar
Izzy_
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the mom gets pulled over, the fine would be on her and I'm pretty sure Danielle's mom would not reimburse

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, and do NOT make that fake apology. In four short years, Danielle will have her driver’s license. Just imagine your daughter riding anywhere with Danielle at the wheel—-NO seatbelt—-and Danielle horsing around, like every 16 year old I know now, knew back in the day, and actually was myself, has done at least once, when driving a car. At Danielle’s funeral, her parents will wish they’d kept their mouths shut and just let you teach their kids to wear seatbelts at all times when in their own car or anyone else’s.

marianmoore1948 avatar
Marian Moore
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My car will not start until everyone has their seatbelt on.. If someone attempts to remove such seatbelt, I find a safe place to pull over and I shut the car off. I don't care who you are, from newborn to old people, you must wear a seat belt in my car. I always told my granddaughter from the time she had her first ride in my car that the car didn't start until everyone had a seat belt on. If she fought it I would say , "well the car won't start if you don't have it on." After she realized we weren't going anywhere, she left it alone. My car, my rules. My home is the same way. When my kids were growing up they had rules in the house and in the yard. If you didn't like my rules don;t come over. Safety first and acting respectful. My kids and their friends never had any problems with the rules. Guess today is different than in the 70s' and the 80s'. I live in Florida in the USA.

leeann_1 avatar
Lee-Ann
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Spend that 45 minutes showing them pics of car accident victims and play were they wearing their seat belt.

kaylapetersen avatar
Apollo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mum's a former EMT and when my siblings and I would refuse to wear seatbelts she would sit us down and tell us about calls she responded to that ended with people dying because they didn't wear seatbelts. The call that's stuck with me is one where the grandparents of a four year old boy thought that they were being nice not forcing him to wear the seatbelt. They were in an accident and the boy was thrown through the windshield. He died of head trauma at the scene with my mum holding his hand.

marshafredell avatar
Lovin' Life
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow! What a display of ignorance. The mother of those two kids needs a wake up call. The mother said the other was not their mom, meaning not their boss. WRONG! The children became her responsibility as soon as they got into her car. I applaud her for caring enough to make these brats wear their seatbelts. The other mother is such a "Karen." And well it is the law!

zairahriyas avatar
Pearl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No kid should be allowed to be friends with a kid that thinks it's ok to not have a seat belt. Safety and the child's LIFE comes first. "social life" later. PERIOD.

jaybird3939 avatar
Jaybird3939
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are rules and there are consequences when you don't follow them. You'd have been in BIG TIME trouble if you had been stopped with 2 unbelted kids in your car, and you couldn't have said "Their Mom says it's OK"! Sticking to your guns was the best thing you could have done. Danielle and her brother sound like entitled adults in training. Stay strong, you know you're right.

nalasimba avatar
nala simba
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

With parents such as Danielle's, it is probably a good thing that they're not friends. With influence from them, that disrespectful kid might turn your daughter into an ill mannered teen eventually.

nalasimba avatar
nala simba
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That "husband and father" is pretty useless, too. He should be with, not against his wife's principles!

kaiscadden avatar
Kai Scadden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she should have told them about her friend and scared them into their seatbelts

janbeee2 avatar
Janice Best
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I also want to say the husband is a really unsupportive jackass, but he *may* have a real problem with standing up for himself or others - such that he needs therapy to fix it. So, a little empathy for him, if it's warranted, but only if he decides to fix his issue, too. The poor NTA woman. :(

martysunderland avatar
Marty Sunderland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell hubby no, no fake apology, no apology of any kind. Be proud that you stuck to your guns, because this is an argument you MUST win. It's not only about what is legal, it's about what's safe, and who makes the rules in your vehicle. Apologizing says "I was wrong" and you absolutely are NOT wrong. And you've modeled an excellent choice to your daughter. I'm sorry she's not happy about it, but you are in the right.

zeromeus avatar
Dragon Slayer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Take mom's license plate number. Notify law enforcement. After a while, the kids will be taken away for negligence. The mom will, hopefully, eventually learn her lesson. It's for her own good.

zeromeus avatar
Dragon Slayer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd just taken the mom' license plate number and notify law enforcement. After a while the kids will be taken away for negligence and she'll eventually, hopefully, learn her lesson.

faithhh02 avatar
Faith Hurst
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please don't set the example to your daughter that she has to give up her principals if others are stubborn and rude.

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Caroline Driver
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mum used to work in a casualty (now called A&E) dept before seat belts were made law here in the UK. She saw many people, alive or dead, that had gone head first through a windscreen, and presumably also rammed into the back of a seat in front. Perhaps the arrogant bitch mother needs to be shown a few photos of the bad old days when seat belts weren't even in cars.

lillukka79 avatar
Lillukka79
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not only don't apologyze, inform the cops that they drive without seatbelts with minors. In Finland it's a fine, not only for the person not wearing one, but also for the driver of the vehicle.

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Dave
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This right here is one of many reasons why people should take tests, psychology and IQ tests before being allowed to have kids. The stupid is rampant in new parents.

notmykl avatar
NotMykl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The person responsible for making the son late for soccer practice is the son and his sister. Period. OP needs to tell her DD that seat belts are never an option in their family's car nor any car. Everyone will wear a seat belt including DD when she rides in other people's cars. OP needs to send the other mother articles of people dying and being severely injured needlessly for want of wearing a seat belt.

alisonhockey65 avatar
Alison Hockey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i would have said to the parent, they are refusing to belt up so you will need to come for them now, i will wait 15 mins and if you are not here and they don't put them on they will be walking home... and in future you sort yours and i will sort mine.

kamaab avatar
Jacinta Smith
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Danielle should have taught her kids to wear seatbelts. But Toro should have spoken to Danielle rather than disciplining Danielle's children to that extent without Danielle's permission. Toro should have said she couldn't take the kids unless they wore their seatbelts. Keeping someone else's children away from their parents and their routine without their parents' permission is not the right way to do things and Toro absolutely needs to apologise. Especially as Toro's poor daughter doesn't make friends easily - no suprise there, with a mum like Toro sabotaging your friendships, that's going to be really hard.

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Michaelann Dahlman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stay strong Mom, you're not wrong. Teaching your kids that lying is okay, is not the kind of tole model you want to be. And you also don't want to teach them to disobeying parents (or other adults in authority) is okay.

kamaab avatar
Jacinta Smith
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's Taro's fault and her daughter paid the price. Yes Danielle is an idiot for not telling her kids to wear seat belts, but if Taro wasn't happy with that then she should have spoken to Danielle and told her she wasn't happy driving them without them wearing seatbelts because bla bla bla. What you don't do, is not talk to the parents and instead decide to discipline other people's children to the extent that they're missing hobbies because you're disciplining them. Two fecking awful women with no sense of how to speak to each other and Taro's child is paying the price. You were wrong. Apologise.

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Lisa Pockat Bork
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to drive a car load of kids to events. I told them it was my car, my rules. I wouldn't start out until they were all buckled in. They cooperated pretty well.

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Meri Kassner-Gomez
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here in New York, EVERYONE in a car must either be in a car seat/booster or wear a seatbelt (depending on age/size). Adults included. Taro was TOTALLY RIGHT. I’m a firefighter/Critical Care AEMT. I can’t tell you how many time I’ve seen injuries and deaths result from people not wearing seatbelts. Especially unrestrained teenagers. Danielle’s mom is going to be VERY sorry one day if she doesn’t cut out her s**t. She has a teenage boy and they are HUGE risk takers when it comes to driving.

robyn-denton-31 avatar
Robyn Denton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Queensland, Australia, the law on wearing seatbelts is: "You and all passengers in your vehicle must always wear a seatbelt or child restraint when driving. Driving includes when the vehicle is moving or stationary (for example, when stopped at traffic lights), but not when parked. "As the driver of the vehicle, it is your responsibility to ensure you and every passenger in the vehicle is correctly restrained before you start your journey. This does not apply to buses or motorcycles. "Adults and children 7 years or older must wear a correctly fitted seatbelt. Children up to the age of 7 must wear a correctly fitted Australian Standard approved child restraint. "Seatbelts save lives. Wearing a seatbelt significantly reduces the risk of serious injury or loss of life in a crash." The above is a direct quote from the Queensland Government's website: https://www.qld.gov.au/transport/safety/rules/road/seatbelt-rules

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Robyn Denton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Penalties for breaking the seatbelt laws include a $413 fine and the loss of demerit points. Lose too many points, and you use your licence.

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Anna Repp
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I drove many of my kid's friends to and from school and even took some on 5+ hour road trips. I would never, ever let them ride without a seatbelt and I would totally do the same thing as the OP did if they refused to put one on.

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Les Izmore
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My brother refused to wear a seatbelt. When he wasn't paying attention I would slam on the brakes launching him into the dash. Only took twice to get him to start wearing one

slsharris avatar
Sharon Harris
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In addition to the good comments that have been made, I think that the author sul point out to her unsupportive husband that she does not really WANT her daughter associating with Danielle and her brother. Besides the blatant disrespect issues, you can bet good money that their daughter, when spending time in Danelle's family vehicles, did not, does not, and will not be wearing a seatbelt, thereby risking their own child. That certainty should not be OK with him if he really loves his daughter.

mabesa avatar
Marie Richards
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe take a trip with your daughter to the local police station, to let your daughter hear and understand from a police officer, the reasons why seatbelts are the law. The other thing to think about is this- When Danielle’s Mum was carpooling your daughter in the morning, I’m guessing your daughter would not have been asked to wear a seat belt in her car! Scary thought.

ladygarter1574 avatar
Christina Neitz
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here's the apology to offer the other mom: "I'm sorry that I was obeying a traffic law. I'm sorry I wanted to keep your kids safe in case of an accident. I'm sorry for trying to keep you from experiencing the worst fear and grief a parent can have."

jbandsma avatar
Judith Bandsma
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Find the law in your state about child vehicle restraints. And the consequences for not following the law. Copy it and send it to the mom and ask her if she wants her kids taken away for refusing to follow the law, but YOU are not going to be responsible for it.

willemsen avatar
Meami
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder what these kids mom’s reaction would have been if the kids hadn’t been made to put their seatbelts on and the car had been hit by a semi and her kids had been maimed or killed? I’m sure she would have gone after Taro with a herd of lawyers. Some people are just stupid. My car doesn’t move unless everyone is buckled up. I don’t care who they are.

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Lisa Chambers
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You would get cited and fined for them not wearing a seatbelt. Personally, I wouldn't have even bothered with the car pool thing after learning about there toddler-like demands. And their mother can suck it.

athenahelen avatar
Heather Garnham
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a nurse I see so many accident victims come through who would still be alive if they had wore seatbelts. It make me so mad that people think they are optional. I refuse to even start the car until everyone in my car has their belts on

adrianhobbs0 avatar
Adrian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Make it clear before agreeing to carry extra passengers and before they get in the car, that there are rules. If they accept, then enforce compliance; if not then say good bye and leave. Discuss this with your kids and make sure they make clear to whoever they invite.

tamara-kroonen-1 avatar
Tamara Kroonen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would explain the kids it is against the law to not wear seatbelts and scare them off with calling the police if they refuse to where them. Let's see how fast they put them on. If not. Call the police, a really nice once will write a fake fee ;)

ladyrhythm avatar
Jocelyn Dae
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA-One morning my dad slid on black ice and his car went off the road. The car hit a tree and his face broke the windshield. I'm really surprised he didn't kill himself being ejected from the seat. The cop couldn't stop telling him he was so lucky because he wouldn't wear his seatbelt. He NEVER drove without buckling up after that.

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Tina B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Guarantee no vaccines or masks either. Gonna need good health and life insurance.

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AndThenICommented
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seriously hope Danielle’s mom realises she’s so wrong it’s globally gone viral

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Vicky Zar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh my god! Don't they have laws for this in their country? I would get FINED if I let anyone drive without a seatbelt in my car! And regardless: it's a no brainer that everyone should wear them. Especially kids. That Mom is nuts!

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v
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The solution to this one is simple. Your fake apology should be you telling those children that you are sorry that they are being raised by complete dumbasses.

benpress avatar
Ben Press
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's the law that all passengers must wear a seat belt. You don't wear a seat belt, you don't ride in my car. I imagine the parents of this kid would sue the pants off of the woman if she got into an accident and her kids were injured more seriously that they would have been if they were wearing them. Some people are just plain stupid.

dons avatar
Calypso poet
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We wear seatbelts in the back seats. They have made them so much more adjustable it's nowhere near as bad. And I'm plus sized now! I would never move my car with someone not belted. If you are driving you are going to be held responsible especially for minors.

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Buzz Anderson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

MOM is a hundred percent right. STAND YOUR GROUND. IT IS THE LAW. Hell snitch the mother of the two kids out. BUT I have the same rule in my car and no one has ever put up a fuss.

lesburleson avatar
Leslie Burleson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually , it's the law in most states . If you have to show them that in lieu of an apology maybe ... but honestly , you don't need s**t people like that in yours or your child's lives. You don't let other people treat you like garbage in order to get their love or loyalty. If this isn't the thing that ends that situation, I guarantee that it will end sooner rather than later after more times where they mistreat you . Kids with an attitude like that are not going to go in a good direction. Don't let them take your child down with them. My mom would've driven up to where I wouldn't buckle up , beat my ass , buckled me in and made me write an apology letter to the driving mom as I sat in my room for a few days.

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Leslie Burleson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also , I didn't have many friends at 12 years old . I made two friends in my neighborhood . They were up to no good usually. After a few questionable get togethers my parents said I couldn't hang out with them anymore. I was heart broken and I absolutely hated my parents for it. Later that year I made a new friend who ended up being like a sister to me. We raised respectable , but safe levels of hell into adulthood and are still friends 31 years later .

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lara
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thing is, if she got stopped and the kids weren't wearing seat belts, the driver would be arrested and child protective services called to come get the kids. Yeah, that would work out well.

cameronjacobs avatar
Cameron Jacobs
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the mom is that reckless I wouldn't want my kid associating with her daughter anyway. How could you be opposed to wearing a seatbelt? That's just ridiculous.

cheyenne avatar
Cheyenne
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom’s car, mom’s rules. Those bratty kids can walk home.

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Theresa Morrow
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm the one liable when you are in my car. My car, my rules. Period.

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Katherine Boag
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dont give a s**t about kids being disrespectful or 'talking back', but seatbelts will SAVE YOUR LIFE. There is absolutely no excuse for not wearing them (if they dont fit or dont sit right, you can get extenders and other tools to make them sit right)

saderman avatar
Shelli Aderman
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's kind of ILLEGAL to not wear a seatbelt! AND, you can be the best driver in the world. Shitty drivers don't care, and the force of a head flying through a window is fierce. MOM IS NTA! Editing to add, Sadly, the non-seatbelt mom probably does not enforce mask-wearing, either...

leighm avatar
Dodo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know from experience that it's hard to be the only responsible kid/teen in a group. You feel like the boring one. And when your parents are involved too, it's even worse for your self-esteem/reputation. But as others have said, this is absolutely a hill to die on.

janetch avatar
Janet C
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd bet money on who "my kids don't wear seatbelts" mom voted for. Yes, I made this political. Sue me.

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Eilean Luna
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Free objects, even smaller than human, in the car can easily kill other passengers if accidents happens.

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Katinka Min
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That mom would be the first one to sue the author for not forcing her kids to wear seat-belts when an accident happens. I fell sorry for ht girl who'll have trouble maintaingin her friendship, but way in hell would I apologize to ill-behaved children.

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Eslamala
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That moron should've had her tubes tied. Seatbelt is not optional. Especially for kids.

tinyd avatar
Tiny Dancer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just a wild guess here, but I'm betting little Danielle's family can't be arsed to vaccinate or mask their kids either. Why bother? Obviously her kids are indestructible! My ex survived a horrific car accident years ago as he was the only one that bothered to belt up. In their 20s, both the driver and another passenger were throw through the windshield and died on impact. What kind of mother doesn't teach the basic rules of road safety? Madness. Hope she never has to learn the hard way.

debwaril avatar
Debbie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course she was right! Legally and logically. Imagine there was an accident! I also would never let anyone in my family ride in her car as "freeflying" people are a danger for all in the car at an accident 😐

rubydmnd avatar
Janet Miller
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nta. Parents must not wear belts either. I hsve beenn in 2 crashes where the belts kept me from slamming around in car, ATVL.

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Molly Whuppie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would definitely be ending that arrangement. If Danielle's mother has no issue with her own kids not wearing seatbelts, then she certainly isn't going to make sure SafeTaro's daughter is wearing one either.

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Dorothy Parker
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my daughter was in second grade a friend came home from school with us for the first time. She had a major tantrum about having to use her seatbelt. She used the "my parents don't make me use them," excuse to no avail. It was not pleasant. I finally called her mother. Weeks later I saw her dad dropping her off at school. Tiny vintage sports car, front seat, of course. I understood they didn't live by the same rules I did.

abdk333 avatar
K Witmer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This isn't rules this is law. That mother would go to prison if those kids got hurt in an accident. That mother would lose her home and possibly custody of her daughter bc she would be sued found guilty of manslaughter even. That's the law in the USA. I got into an accident and the first thing the cop did was ask my daughter 10xs if she was in her car seat w the seatbelt on. She was 8. There is no wiggle room

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AzKhaleesi
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This may make me TA but if I were her, I would've been like ok... drove home and when there was no traffic (think side street) slammed on my brakes so they hit the seat when they least expected it, then turned around and been like now imagine we're going 65 on the freeway (or whatever freeway speeds are there) and we hit another car. Put your GD seat belts on NOW or walk. And the talk with their parents wouldn't have been any nicer. *shrug.

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Cheri Aline Sydney
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But, charges could have been brought against her for putting all three children in danger... I might have called a taxi for them.... Paid the Driver and driven off ...

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Dave
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

If I want to read Reddit postings I'll go to Reddit. Quit stealing their content.

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Cheri Aline Sydney
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Move on, Dave, if you've already come across this content... Some of us haven't and still find it interesting ! Don't worry, you won't be missed...

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Aahzmandus Pervect
Community Member
2 years ago

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NTA regarding the seatbelts, but kind of an A for denying her daughter the friend she wants and likes.

aliquida avatar
Aliquid A
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a dilemma for sure. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. But I have a problem with this woman because she doesn't SEE the dilemma. She simply says "I don't think it is worth it" in regards to the apology. If she felt more conflicted, but ended up making this choice, I wouldn't think that she is being an A...

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Aliquid A
Community Member
2 years ago

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Not having friends as a kid will have a life-long impact on your daughter... I can't emphasize how important it is for a pre-teen girl to feel like she fits in with her peers. At that point in life it is more important that getting along with her parents. I totally understand that you refused to drive. I would have done the same thing. But after seeing the impact to my daughter's life I would be more worried about how to do damage control than worrying about my pride and setting an example.

abdk333 avatar
K Witmer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So you'd be fine w letting your daughter be friends w a bully? Bc that's what those kids are their bullies. Great example to set. Lay down and roll over for arrogant bullies. The daughter dodged a bullet the mother is being a mother.

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Robert T
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the UK it is the driver's legal responsibility to ensure that children wear seatbelts. It doesn't matter whose children they are. To quote the highway code: "The driver MUST ensure that all children under 14 years of age in cars, vans and other goods vehicles wear seat belts or sit in an approved child restraint where required."

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Cory Tollman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm pretty sure it's the same in the US. I think the driver can even be ticketed for any person not wearing a seatbelt in the vehicle, even adults. I find it amazing that there are still people fighting seatbelts. It was first working its way to becoming a law when I was a kid and even then all the statistics showed that it saved lives and that the whole "trapped in a burning car" wasn't as nearly likely to happen as an un-seatbelted person being thrown from the car and killed, usually with the automobile rolling over them. I have heard of people not wearing seatbelts because of all the other safety features in automobiles now. Air bags really work a lot better if you are also wearing a seatbelt.

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NsG
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not having a great day,so my inner bitch is rearing her head and wanting to place anonymous calls to the police about when Danielle's mom takes her to school. See how her mom likes being fined for not making her kids wear seatbelts. I'd keep doing it too until the kids learn to OBEY THE F*CKING LAW or get taken off their CRIMINAL mother and placed with someone who will get them to RESPECT the law. Honestly, this one has me not just spitting feathers but the whole d*mn bird

delphinum4 avatar
Zophra
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But if these non-seat belted children were injured in an accident, I'm sure this driving mother would be blamed or sued since she is the adult and it is a law. Totally agreed with the OP.

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Robert T
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not only that, but a non-seatbelted child in the back could injure or kill people in the front seats. Tie the little projectiles down!

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Trillian
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My car, my rules. Plus I would get the fine for my passengers not wearing seatbelts if caught. What is WRONG with those "parents" by the way? If my kids did this, THEY would get the lecture and I'd thank the mom for insisting.

freyathewanderer_1 avatar
Freya the Wanderer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My father was very strict about wearing seat belts. He once said that they should be called "life belts." Many a police officer, EMT or firefighter could tell you at least one tragic story about some knot-head who would have survived - or not been horribly and permanently injured - had he/she been wearing a seat belt.

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Zedrapazia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the street I live at, around 15 years ago, a 5 years old crashed through the windshield of her parents car and died right on the spot, as the car had to emergency brake after a horse ran at the street, and the kid wasn't seatbelted. She sat in the middle of the back seat, nothing stopped her from being thrown through the whole car. Dear parents, make sure your kids always wear their seatbelt. You'll never forgive yourself when not wearing one kills your own baby.

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Nikki Sevven
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Next time, call the police non-emergency number and report that you're watching another person's children, and they won't put on their seatbelts. The police will have a quite interesting talk with that mom.

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Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they have time. Always cite it as a "child welfare cehck" or "wellness check for minors". That phrasing gets their attention, I was taught.

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Chicago Dog Lover
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And please seatbelt your pets for their safety and yours!!! If they don't like it, tough, just as is true with the kids here. And a net does NOT work as a restraint!

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The cats are always in carriers, which themselves are belted (through the handle) to the seat. Scruffy has a harness that clips to the seat, so he can sit up or lay down while we’re driving, but won’t fly through the windshield in a collision.

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Andrea Pereira
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Danielle's mother may have a problem in her hands if she doesn't nip her daughter tendencies in the bud. That's was not simply disobeying, it was a power play. Good for OP to not allow this type of behavior in front of her own daughter.

wianjama avatar
Rissie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not complying with the responsible adult like that is pretty tricky behavior indeed. But by the sounds of it, the apple really doesn't fall too far from the tree. Because what sane adult tries this little piece of powerplay, where you threaten to withhold something from someone's kid if they don't give in about something that they are right about. Better no friends than these people. Ditch them.

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The OP is right, this is a hill to die on. If you tell your daughter it's okay to break the law and endanger kids because doing what's right might make them less popular... what does that tell the kid about other stupid teen behavior? What about in the years to come, when her peers want to drive recklessly, try dangerous drugs, pull dangerous pranks that involve breaking and entering, spending the night in that haunted house, play with their dad's gun, or all the dangerous idiocy stuff teens get up to? Do you want to tell your kid that she has to please others and go along with the group even though they're wrong, or do you want to tell her she has to stand up for doing what's right - what will keep people from getting killed?

iblowsheep avatar
iblowsheep
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Danielle's Mom is a piece of s**t. Only explanation needed is to her daughter about how unreasonable Danielle's Mother is and that it is her fault why she can't see her friend.

takpozehnani avatar
Cheri Aline Sydney
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should also let her daughter know that if Danielle has this behavior in general, she probably saved her from getting into trouble because of Danielle... This type of rebellion doesn't end well on many fronts!

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marielancaster avatar
Marie Lancaster
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I got into an accident with a semi. I was only going a few blocks to drop my 9 month old at daycare. My light turned green when I was in the intersection a semi ran the red light and hit me. Car totaled. Me and my baby were both properly buckled. 9 month old didn't have a mark on her, she thought it was funny. I sprained my wrist and neck but was okay. The car seat save my child's life and a seat belt saved mine. I wasn't even out of my own neighborhood. I don't understand how a parent can condone their kids not being safe?

takpozehnani avatar
Cheri Aline Sydney
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Glad, Marie, that you were wearing a seat belt and the baby was properly in the car seat... The angels have an easier time watching over us when they have our cooperation... Glad you were both survivors!

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abdk333 avatar
K Witmer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This women could go to prison if there was an accident and those kids got hurt. Wtf is wrong w people that they don't care if their kids die just to win an argument that's 100% to begin with? This is what trump brought out of the woodwork. Not only terrorists but the mind numbingly stupid people think they can say and do whatever they want and say it's an opinion backed by lies. It's time to start charging people for crimes when they spread disinformation knowingly and when they decide to kill people out of arrogance. Fines that's the only way to shut these pos people up hit them in the wallet.

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So this mom has an accdient by no fault of her own ----- someone ran a red light ----- and her son who isn't wearing a seatbelt is essentially beheaded by a third vhicle that couldn't stop in time, b/c he went flying out the windshield. Happened in real life. And that's why you wear your seatbelt. His ister in the car had a broken arm. She's still alive. His mother killed herself years later over the son's death. So, yeah, WEAR THE SEATBELTS. I knew the daughter. Good person, horrible nightmares.

bcgrote avatar
Brandy Grote
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's the LAW. I'm not getting a ticket because your brats aren't following the law. We tell people the car won't start unless everyone's buckled in, sorry, it came that way. But it's generally not an issue because we drive sensible people, mostly....

kayrose avatar
RoseTheMad
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do what my college did during a lecture about driving safely - show those brats pictures of car crashes and their victims. It'll shock/disgust/scare some sense into them.

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those are the kind of films we had to watch during Driver Ed classes in high school, which were taught the semester before Driver Training (actually in one of those cars with two sets of wheels and pedals). We were 15 almost 16 at the time and the films were pretty graphic, for good reason. I turned 16 in 1976, which was before all the mandatory seatbelt laws went into effect, but even then we were taught to wear them at all times. Cars are way more safe now than they were 45 years ago, so it was wise to teach new drivers to use seatbelts—-even if the standard belts were only the lap belt without the attached shoulder belt, something was still better than nothing. Besides, I went to high school in SGV, so it was even one important to wear one, as we were going to be future freeway commuters.

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Ana Ferreira
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aren't seatbelts mandatory where this person lives? Here you get fined if you're not wearing one, and if a minor (or an adult with severe cognitive issues) is found not wearing their seatbelt, the driver gets fined.

valisbourne avatar
Valisbourne Spiritforge
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd have apologized to them. In front of their mother. Something along the lines of "I'm sorry. I'm sorry your mother raised you to be little punks. I'm sorry you ever got to know my daughter and I'm sorry I didn't kick your little butts out of the car sooner". Then again, I really hate this sort of attitude. I don't care how old you are, if it's not your car it's not your rules.

potterheadhereagain avatar
D S
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That would put the blame on the kids though... I think it would be better to say something like this " Im really sorry your parents arent doing all they can to make sure you´re safe. That they not only disregard the law, but also your safety and wellbeing and that their entitlement and lack of knowlegde makes them think they are owed and apology rather than realizing they´re the ones at fault. I am really sorry those are the parents who you´ve gotten in life".

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jeffrequier_1 avatar
Requiem
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Id put fear in the kid since they arent 18 and its the Drivers responsibility for children in the other seats

gemmelltastic avatar
Got Myself 4 Dwarves
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How are seatbelts even considered optional by kids? From day one they're in a car they are suitably strapped in so it's something they would grow up with knowing that's just how it is? I've 4 kids (hinted at by my username) from age 15 to 4, not once have I had to argue with them to wear a seatbelt. The fact these kids refuse is totally the parents fault as they've clearly been taught they don't need one. I would totally refuse to move the car the same as the OP did.

natalybills avatar
VogueGal
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. In many Continents and Countries, it is offendable ticket for not wearing seatbelts. Kudos to you for enforcing the rule to these two spoiled-brats. Some people are not supposed to have kids, this person is one of them, she sets a bad example to her own kids and sounds like your daughter is better off without them since they could potentially be a bad influence in the long-term. Please do not apologize. You didn't do anything wrong!

douglasmock avatar
Douglas Mock
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Call child protective services on her (what she is doing is illegal child abuse) and make sure they arrest her at the school in front of everyone.

jmchoto avatar
Jo Choto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nothing to do with the rules. It is THE LAW and as the driver, whether in UK or US, you would face steep fines and possibly other charges for child endangerment. If someone charges you with taking care of their child, you have the same responsibilities to them as your own child in loco parentis, and the same obligations to follow the law and maintain their safety. I get what a horrible stress it is for your daughter at an impressionable age, but she is old enough for you to have a serious talk with her about 1) the law, 2) car safety, 3) your legal responsibilities when the kids are in your car and 4) standing up for what is right, even when it's difficult. That is not a family you want to be close to, and at some point, she will understand that.

potterheadhereagain avatar
D S
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If in an accident wouldnt this mother be legally responsible for those kids not wearing seatbelts? Besides being illegal, its also dangerous. I wouldnt apologize either. If someone needs to apologize its the entitled mother who thinks someone owes her an apology for not putting her kids lifes at risk. Do these people not like their children?

neilbidle avatar
Devil's Advocate
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Over 14, it's up to them, under 14 it's the responsibility, in law, of the driver. At least in the UK, so tough on them and you shouldn't have had to say it was "your rules" when it's *THE* rules

jessica-bertram1 avatar
Jessica Bertram
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

but when someone is in my car, i don't give 2 sh!ts how old they are, they are properly restrained, or they get out. My car, my rules. i can't live with myself if someone is killed on my drive time. even an adult who is old enough to choose to risk their own neck and leave their seatbelt off. EVERYONE belts up in my car or they find another ride.

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Tara Raay
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You get fined for not wearing a seat belt(In Canada). Also there’s the chance your child could DIE if you get into an accident.

zeljkoklaric78_1 avatar
Bernd Herbert
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m amazed that „not wearing a seatbealt“ is still a thing. Well, should have known…..anti vaxxers are still a thing, too!

ajones_1 avatar
A Jones
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah I agree with NTA, seatbelts can help prevent terrible injury/death/liability. There be laws also about seat belts as well. heck wearing a seat belt for even short trips (like around the block) had saved me, I was a passenger of a car for a short trip and we slid on some ice and almost got into an accident. This wasn't too long of a time when I was in another car as a passenger that got t-boned. I was next to the door that got crushed. Thank goodness I wore a seat belt (had only whiplash). Wear seat belts folks, regardless of who you are and the duration of the trip.

heyoumakemyday avatar
Antonia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same in The Netherlands. My youngest son (3y) took his seatbelt off wile I was driving. He had a choise, step out of the car or leave the seatbelt on. No discussion.

memawjohnston2005 avatar
Deb Johnston
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even here in Texas if you are under 17 it is a law that you have to wear a seat belt, even in the back seats. If the mom got pulled over, she would be ticketed for the kids not in seat belts.

ljamie04 avatar
Hollysmom
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the f' is wrong with people and their sense of entitlement and belief that the law, and common sense, doesn't apply to them? This country had gone completely f'ng crazy

kaylaj avatar
Kayla J
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was in a head on car accident where I broke both of my femurs. Other than the broken bones, the seat belt bruise took the longest to heal and it felt like I had taken a punch from prime Ali. That and the airbag stopped me from slamming my head God only knows where. Your daughter is upset now, but spending time with Danielle and her family could lead her to one day not buckling up here, there, and then who knows what could happen. Plenty of people understand the other side and hopefully your daughter never has to.

magrudzinski avatar
Mark Grudzinski
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are seatbelt laws in almost every state. Not only is her anti-seatbelt position ill-informed and stupid, it's probably also illegal.

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seat belts save lives and are not negotiable. This woman sounds entitled and so do her children. I would not apologize but I would explain to the daughter that the one that stopped the friendship is Danielle's mother. What kind of person raises their children to think that seat belts are unnecessary?

blue1steven avatar
Donkey boi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was a kid I used to take my seatbelt off on long journeys to get more comfortable. The second my dad noticed he'd find a quiet street and 'practice an emergency stop'. After I flew off the seat he'd just look at me and say 'Put your f*****g seatbelt on or get hurt, which is it?!'

itzel-ocampo avatar
Izzy_
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the mom gets pulled over, the fine would be on her and I'm pretty sure Danielle's mom would not reimburse

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, and do NOT make that fake apology. In four short years, Danielle will have her driver’s license. Just imagine your daughter riding anywhere with Danielle at the wheel—-NO seatbelt—-and Danielle horsing around, like every 16 year old I know now, knew back in the day, and actually was myself, has done at least once, when driving a car. At Danielle’s funeral, her parents will wish they’d kept their mouths shut and just let you teach their kids to wear seatbelts at all times when in their own car or anyone else’s.

marianmoore1948 avatar
Marian Moore
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My car will not start until everyone has their seatbelt on.. If someone attempts to remove such seatbelt, I find a safe place to pull over and I shut the car off. I don't care who you are, from newborn to old people, you must wear a seat belt in my car. I always told my granddaughter from the time she had her first ride in my car that the car didn't start until everyone had a seat belt on. If she fought it I would say , "well the car won't start if you don't have it on." After she realized we weren't going anywhere, she left it alone. My car, my rules. My home is the same way. When my kids were growing up they had rules in the house and in the yard. If you didn't like my rules don;t come over. Safety first and acting respectful. My kids and their friends never had any problems with the rules. Guess today is different than in the 70s' and the 80s'. I live in Florida in the USA.

leeann_1 avatar
Lee-Ann
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Spend that 45 minutes showing them pics of car accident victims and play were they wearing their seat belt.

kaylapetersen avatar
Apollo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mum's a former EMT and when my siblings and I would refuse to wear seatbelts she would sit us down and tell us about calls she responded to that ended with people dying because they didn't wear seatbelts. The call that's stuck with me is one where the grandparents of a four year old boy thought that they were being nice not forcing him to wear the seatbelt. They were in an accident and the boy was thrown through the windshield. He died of head trauma at the scene with my mum holding his hand.

marshafredell avatar
Lovin' Life
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow! What a display of ignorance. The mother of those two kids needs a wake up call. The mother said the other was not their mom, meaning not their boss. WRONG! The children became her responsibility as soon as they got into her car. I applaud her for caring enough to make these brats wear their seatbelts. The other mother is such a "Karen." And well it is the law!

zairahriyas avatar
Pearl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No kid should be allowed to be friends with a kid that thinks it's ok to not have a seat belt. Safety and the child's LIFE comes first. "social life" later. PERIOD.

jaybird3939 avatar
Jaybird3939
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are rules and there are consequences when you don't follow them. You'd have been in BIG TIME trouble if you had been stopped with 2 unbelted kids in your car, and you couldn't have said "Their Mom says it's OK"! Sticking to your guns was the best thing you could have done. Danielle and her brother sound like entitled adults in training. Stay strong, you know you're right.

nalasimba avatar
nala simba
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

With parents such as Danielle's, it is probably a good thing that they're not friends. With influence from them, that disrespectful kid might turn your daughter into an ill mannered teen eventually.

nalasimba avatar
nala simba
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That "husband and father" is pretty useless, too. He should be with, not against his wife's principles!

kaiscadden avatar
Kai Scadden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she should have told them about her friend and scared them into their seatbelts

janbeee2 avatar
Janice Best
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I also want to say the husband is a really unsupportive jackass, but he *may* have a real problem with standing up for himself or others - such that he needs therapy to fix it. So, a little empathy for him, if it's warranted, but only if he decides to fix his issue, too. The poor NTA woman. :(

martysunderland avatar
Marty Sunderland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell hubby no, no fake apology, no apology of any kind. Be proud that you stuck to your guns, because this is an argument you MUST win. It's not only about what is legal, it's about what's safe, and who makes the rules in your vehicle. Apologizing says "I was wrong" and you absolutely are NOT wrong. And you've modeled an excellent choice to your daughter. I'm sorry she's not happy about it, but you are in the right.

zeromeus avatar
Dragon Slayer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Take mom's license plate number. Notify law enforcement. After a while, the kids will be taken away for negligence. The mom will, hopefully, eventually learn her lesson. It's for her own good.

zeromeus avatar
Dragon Slayer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd just taken the mom' license plate number and notify law enforcement. After a while the kids will be taken away for negligence and she'll eventually, hopefully, learn her lesson.

faithhh02 avatar
Faith Hurst
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please don't set the example to your daughter that she has to give up her principals if others are stubborn and rude.

melayahm avatar
Caroline Driver
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mum used to work in a casualty (now called A&E) dept before seat belts were made law here in the UK. She saw many people, alive or dead, that had gone head first through a windscreen, and presumably also rammed into the back of a seat in front. Perhaps the arrogant bitch mother needs to be shown a few photos of the bad old days when seat belts weren't even in cars.

lillukka79 avatar
Lillukka79
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not only don't apologyze, inform the cops that they drive without seatbelts with minors. In Finland it's a fine, not only for the person not wearing one, but also for the driver of the vehicle.

david_smojver avatar
Dave
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This right here is one of many reasons why people should take tests, psychology and IQ tests before being allowed to have kids. The stupid is rampant in new parents.

notmykl avatar
NotMykl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The person responsible for making the son late for soccer practice is the son and his sister. Period. OP needs to tell her DD that seat belts are never an option in their family's car nor any car. Everyone will wear a seat belt including DD when she rides in other people's cars. OP needs to send the other mother articles of people dying and being severely injured needlessly for want of wearing a seat belt.

alisonhockey65 avatar
Alison Hockey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i would have said to the parent, they are refusing to belt up so you will need to come for them now, i will wait 15 mins and if you are not here and they don't put them on they will be walking home... and in future you sort yours and i will sort mine.

kamaab avatar
Jacinta Smith
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Danielle should have taught her kids to wear seatbelts. But Toro should have spoken to Danielle rather than disciplining Danielle's children to that extent without Danielle's permission. Toro should have said she couldn't take the kids unless they wore their seatbelts. Keeping someone else's children away from their parents and their routine without their parents' permission is not the right way to do things and Toro absolutely needs to apologise. Especially as Toro's poor daughter doesn't make friends easily - no suprise there, with a mum like Toro sabotaging your friendships, that's going to be really hard.

michaelanndahlman avatar
Michaelann Dahlman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stay strong Mom, you're not wrong. Teaching your kids that lying is okay, is not the kind of tole model you want to be. And you also don't want to teach them to disobeying parents (or other adults in authority) is okay.

kamaab avatar
Jacinta Smith
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's Taro's fault and her daughter paid the price. Yes Danielle is an idiot for not telling her kids to wear seat belts, but if Taro wasn't happy with that then she should have spoken to Danielle and told her she wasn't happy driving them without them wearing seatbelts because bla bla bla. What you don't do, is not talk to the parents and instead decide to discipline other people's children to the extent that they're missing hobbies because you're disciplining them. Two fecking awful women with no sense of how to speak to each other and Taro's child is paying the price. You were wrong. Apologise.

lisa518us avatar
Lisa Pockat Bork
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to drive a car load of kids to events. I told them it was my car, my rules. I wouldn't start out until they were all buckled in. They cooperated pretty well.

meri-kassner avatar
Meri Kassner-Gomez
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here in New York, EVERYONE in a car must either be in a car seat/booster or wear a seatbelt (depending on age/size). Adults included. Taro was TOTALLY RIGHT. I’m a firefighter/Critical Care AEMT. I can’t tell you how many time I’ve seen injuries and deaths result from people not wearing seatbelts. Especially unrestrained teenagers. Danielle’s mom is going to be VERY sorry one day if she doesn’t cut out her s**t. She has a teenage boy and they are HUGE risk takers when it comes to driving.

robyn-denton-31 avatar
Robyn Denton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Queensland, Australia, the law on wearing seatbelts is: "You and all passengers in your vehicle must always wear a seatbelt or child restraint when driving. Driving includes when the vehicle is moving or stationary (for example, when stopped at traffic lights), but not when parked. "As the driver of the vehicle, it is your responsibility to ensure you and every passenger in the vehicle is correctly restrained before you start your journey. This does not apply to buses or motorcycles. "Adults and children 7 years or older must wear a correctly fitted seatbelt. Children up to the age of 7 must wear a correctly fitted Australian Standard approved child restraint. "Seatbelts save lives. Wearing a seatbelt significantly reduces the risk of serious injury or loss of life in a crash." The above is a direct quote from the Queensland Government's website: https://www.qld.gov.au/transport/safety/rules/road/seatbelt-rules

robyn-denton-31 avatar
Robyn Denton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Penalties for breaking the seatbelt laws include a $413 fine and the loss of demerit points. Lose too many points, and you use your licence.

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annarepp avatar
Anna Repp
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I drove many of my kid's friends to and from school and even took some on 5+ hour road trips. I would never, ever let them ride without a seatbelt and I would totally do the same thing as the OP did if they refused to put one on.

mtnpacrat avatar
Les Izmore
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My brother refused to wear a seatbelt. When he wasn't paying attention I would slam on the brakes launching him into the dash. Only took twice to get him to start wearing one

slsharris avatar
Sharon Harris
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In addition to the good comments that have been made, I think that the author sul point out to her unsupportive husband that she does not really WANT her daughter associating with Danielle and her brother. Besides the blatant disrespect issues, you can bet good money that their daughter, when spending time in Danelle's family vehicles, did not, does not, and will not be wearing a seatbelt, thereby risking their own child. That certainty should not be OK with him if he really loves his daughter.

mabesa avatar
Marie Richards
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe take a trip with your daughter to the local police station, to let your daughter hear and understand from a police officer, the reasons why seatbelts are the law. The other thing to think about is this- When Danielle’s Mum was carpooling your daughter in the morning, I’m guessing your daughter would not have been asked to wear a seat belt in her car! Scary thought.

ladygarter1574 avatar
Christina Neitz
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here's the apology to offer the other mom: "I'm sorry that I was obeying a traffic law. I'm sorry I wanted to keep your kids safe in case of an accident. I'm sorry for trying to keep you from experiencing the worst fear and grief a parent can have."

jbandsma avatar
Judith Bandsma
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Find the law in your state about child vehicle restraints. And the consequences for not following the law. Copy it and send it to the mom and ask her if she wants her kids taken away for refusing to follow the law, but YOU are not going to be responsible for it.

willemsen avatar
Meami
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder what these kids mom’s reaction would have been if the kids hadn’t been made to put their seatbelts on and the car had been hit by a semi and her kids had been maimed or killed? I’m sure she would have gone after Taro with a herd of lawyers. Some people are just stupid. My car doesn’t move unless everyone is buckled up. I don’t care who they are.

lisachambers2018 avatar
Lisa Chambers
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You would get cited and fined for them not wearing a seatbelt. Personally, I wouldn't have even bothered with the car pool thing after learning about there toddler-like demands. And their mother can suck it.

athenahelen avatar
Heather Garnham
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a nurse I see so many accident victims come through who would still be alive if they had wore seatbelts. It make me so mad that people think they are optional. I refuse to even start the car until everyone in my car has their belts on

adrianhobbs0 avatar
Adrian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Make it clear before agreeing to carry extra passengers and before they get in the car, that there are rules. If they accept, then enforce compliance; if not then say good bye and leave. Discuss this with your kids and make sure they make clear to whoever they invite.

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Tamara Kroonen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would explain the kids it is against the law to not wear seatbelts and scare them off with calling the police if they refuse to where them. Let's see how fast they put them on. If not. Call the police, a really nice once will write a fake fee ;)

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Jocelyn Dae
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA-One morning my dad slid on black ice and his car went off the road. The car hit a tree and his face broke the windshield. I'm really surprised he didn't kill himself being ejected from the seat. The cop couldn't stop telling him he was so lucky because he wouldn't wear his seatbelt. He NEVER drove without buckling up after that.

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Tina B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Guarantee no vaccines or masks either. Gonna need good health and life insurance.

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AndThenICommented
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seriously hope Danielle’s mom realises she’s so wrong it’s globally gone viral

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Vicky Zar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh my god! Don't they have laws for this in their country? I would get FINED if I let anyone drive without a seatbelt in my car! And regardless: it's a no brainer that everyone should wear them. Especially kids. That Mom is nuts!

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v
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The solution to this one is simple. Your fake apology should be you telling those children that you are sorry that they are being raised by complete dumbasses.

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Ben Press
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's the law that all passengers must wear a seat belt. You don't wear a seat belt, you don't ride in my car. I imagine the parents of this kid would sue the pants off of the woman if she got into an accident and her kids were injured more seriously that they would have been if they were wearing them. Some people are just plain stupid.

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Calypso poet
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We wear seatbelts in the back seats. They have made them so much more adjustable it's nowhere near as bad. And I'm plus sized now! I would never move my car with someone not belted. If you are driving you are going to be held responsible especially for minors.

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Buzz Anderson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

MOM is a hundred percent right. STAND YOUR GROUND. IT IS THE LAW. Hell snitch the mother of the two kids out. BUT I have the same rule in my car and no one has ever put up a fuss.

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Leslie Burleson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually , it's the law in most states . If you have to show them that in lieu of an apology maybe ... but honestly , you don't need s**t people like that in yours or your child's lives. You don't let other people treat you like garbage in order to get their love or loyalty. If this isn't the thing that ends that situation, I guarantee that it will end sooner rather than later after more times where they mistreat you . Kids with an attitude like that are not going to go in a good direction. Don't let them take your child down with them. My mom would've driven up to where I wouldn't buckle up , beat my ass , buckled me in and made me write an apology letter to the driving mom as I sat in my room for a few days.

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Leslie Burleson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also , I didn't have many friends at 12 years old . I made two friends in my neighborhood . They were up to no good usually. After a few questionable get togethers my parents said I couldn't hang out with them anymore. I was heart broken and I absolutely hated my parents for it. Later that year I made a new friend who ended up being like a sister to me. We raised respectable , but safe levels of hell into adulthood and are still friends 31 years later .

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lara
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thing is, if she got stopped and the kids weren't wearing seat belts, the driver would be arrested and child protective services called to come get the kids. Yeah, that would work out well.

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Cameron Jacobs
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the mom is that reckless I wouldn't want my kid associating with her daughter anyway. How could you be opposed to wearing a seatbelt? That's just ridiculous.

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Cheyenne
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom’s car, mom’s rules. Those bratty kids can walk home.

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Theresa Morrow
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm the one liable when you are in my car. My car, my rules. Period.

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Katherine Boag
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dont give a s**t about kids being disrespectful or 'talking back', but seatbelts will SAVE YOUR LIFE. There is absolutely no excuse for not wearing them (if they dont fit or dont sit right, you can get extenders and other tools to make them sit right)

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Shelli Aderman
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's kind of ILLEGAL to not wear a seatbelt! AND, you can be the best driver in the world. Shitty drivers don't care, and the force of a head flying through a window is fierce. MOM IS NTA! Editing to add, Sadly, the non-seatbelt mom probably does not enforce mask-wearing, either...

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Dodo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know from experience that it's hard to be the only responsible kid/teen in a group. You feel like the boring one. And when your parents are involved too, it's even worse for your self-esteem/reputation. But as others have said, this is absolutely a hill to die on.

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Janet C
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd bet money on who "my kids don't wear seatbelts" mom voted for. Yes, I made this political. Sue me.

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Eilean Luna
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Free objects, even smaller than human, in the car can easily kill other passengers if accidents happens.

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Katinka Min
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That mom would be the first one to sue the author for not forcing her kids to wear seat-belts when an accident happens. I fell sorry for ht girl who'll have trouble maintaingin her friendship, but way in hell would I apologize to ill-behaved children.

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Eslamala
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That moron should've had her tubes tied. Seatbelt is not optional. Especially for kids.

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Tiny Dancer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just a wild guess here, but I'm betting little Danielle's family can't be arsed to vaccinate or mask their kids either. Why bother? Obviously her kids are indestructible! My ex survived a horrific car accident years ago as he was the only one that bothered to belt up. In their 20s, both the driver and another passenger were throw through the windshield and died on impact. What kind of mother doesn't teach the basic rules of road safety? Madness. Hope she never has to learn the hard way.

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Debbie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course she was right! Legally and logically. Imagine there was an accident! I also would never let anyone in my family ride in her car as "freeflying" people are a danger for all in the car at an accident 😐

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Janet Miller
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nta. Parents must not wear belts either. I hsve beenn in 2 crashes where the belts kept me from slamming around in car, ATVL.

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Molly Whuppie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would definitely be ending that arrangement. If Danielle's mother has no issue with her own kids not wearing seatbelts, then she certainly isn't going to make sure SafeTaro's daughter is wearing one either.

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Dorothy Parker
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my daughter was in second grade a friend came home from school with us for the first time. She had a major tantrum about having to use her seatbelt. She used the "my parents don't make me use them," excuse to no avail. It was not pleasant. I finally called her mother. Weeks later I saw her dad dropping her off at school. Tiny vintage sports car, front seat, of course. I understood they didn't live by the same rules I did.

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K Witmer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This isn't rules this is law. That mother would go to prison if those kids got hurt in an accident. That mother would lose her home and possibly custody of her daughter bc she would be sued found guilty of manslaughter even. That's the law in the USA. I got into an accident and the first thing the cop did was ask my daughter 10xs if she was in her car seat w the seatbelt on. She was 8. There is no wiggle room

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AzKhaleesi
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This may make me TA but if I were her, I would've been like ok... drove home and when there was no traffic (think side street) slammed on my brakes so they hit the seat when they least expected it, then turned around and been like now imagine we're going 65 on the freeway (or whatever freeway speeds are there) and we hit another car. Put your GD seat belts on NOW or walk. And the talk with their parents wouldn't have been any nicer. *shrug.

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Cheri Aline Sydney
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But, charges could have been brought against her for putting all three children in danger... I might have called a taxi for them.... Paid the Driver and driven off ...

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Dave
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

If I want to read Reddit postings I'll go to Reddit. Quit stealing their content.

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Cheri Aline Sydney
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Move on, Dave, if you've already come across this content... Some of us haven't and still find it interesting ! Don't worry, you won't be missed...

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Aahzmandus Pervect
Community Member
2 years ago

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NTA regarding the seatbelts, but kind of an A for denying her daughter the friend she wants and likes.

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Aliquid A
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a dilemma for sure. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. But I have a problem with this woman because she doesn't SEE the dilemma. She simply says "I don't think it is worth it" in regards to the apology. If she felt more conflicted, but ended up making this choice, I wouldn't think that she is being an A...

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Aliquid A
Community Member
2 years ago

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Not having friends as a kid will have a life-long impact on your daughter... I can't emphasize how important it is for a pre-teen girl to feel like she fits in with her peers. At that point in life it is more important that getting along with her parents. I totally understand that you refused to drive. I would have done the same thing. But after seeing the impact to my daughter's life I would be more worried about how to do damage control than worrying about my pride and setting an example.

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K Witmer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So you'd be fine w letting your daughter be friends w a bully? Bc that's what those kids are their bullies. Great example to set. Lay down and roll over for arrogant bullies. The daughter dodged a bullet the mother is being a mother.

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