“[Am I The Jerk] For Kicking My Son Out Of My House After He Canceled My Job Interview?”

Me thinks he's in trouble with someone over finances. I'd be worried about drugs or gambling debts and that he needed a quick cheque to balance his books at the cost of his mother's home. I feel like if she'd caved and sold, son would have taken the cash and split. Leaving her without work and home.

NTA. If anything you've done too much for him. To have him call you selfish after all you did for him proves it for me. I would not allow him back in my home. If his aunt thinks so highly of his behavior SHE can take him in and the enabling can continue. Neither of you are doing him any favors.

I would sleep with one eye open, until all locks have been changed. Review all insurances, banking, personal paperwork. Unless this guy is in trouble and needs money fast, he is spoiled, conniving, and a liar...let him stay with the aunt. He owes the mom a sincere apology, but she shouldn't hold her breath. I would still pay his way through school, because he's going to need a job to be able to live in the City, but I would no longer pay extra for misc. Time for him to man up.

This is the behaviour of a child. He really thinks you just go online, find a buyer, hand over the keys and they'll give you a wad of cash? And that's it? Does this kid have any idea how difficult and expensive it is to move? But yeah. The cancelled interview and his looking for buyers for the house are huge red flags. She might need to go over all of her papers to ensure she can't wake up to any surprises. Glad his mom managed to stick to her guns and hopefully the son will get the reality check he so clearly needs. (Personally, I would go over the actual legal steps required to purchase or sell a house and all the finances involved in moving. He clearly has no idea whatsoever.)

Sounds like her son has sociopathic tendencies, or perhaps his character is similar to grifters, where there is no conscience regarding theft etc. Make sure he doesn't take out a life insurance policy on her.

Once he talks you into selling the house to buy an apartment: Who will own the apartment? I bet is him, not you. And I also bet the next fight, or when he wants to have a live in girlfriend, guess who is going out the door? YOU.

Hmm, this is 100% about the money imo. Whether he owes someone or wants it for something else. Or for someone else, because I wouldn't discount the Aunt being involved somehow.

He definitely thinks he’s in charge because he was raised that way by op. She needs to lock everything down before her house ends up sold and the money is in his bank account.

Your son's actions were sneaky, dishonest, in underhanded. If you did not want the job, you would have canceled it yourself. He should not be given the option to move back in with you, because he cannot be trusted..

This story always follows the same old routine with practically everyone in the family ganging up one the victim. F**k the son, f**k the aunt.

This guy has no idea how good he has it. My parents, and I'm sure many others, can't afford to care for, and pay for schooling.

Sounds like the desperations of an addict ...sorry to say he needs you to sell the house!?... already found a buyer ?!? Has to live in the city ...all these things are strange especially since she said he never behaved like this before...lots of concerns in the behavior

All i gotta say is, yikes! Red flag city. Something bigger is going on with the son imo

Stories like these always give me anxiety for the parents. Like I get it if the child is in some trouble but to go as far as taking from your own parents is what is scary. do I make sense?

OP did the best thing to kick him out, he needs to be an adult now. Now aunty can take him in and see how long she wants to support him, and see if she wants to do what he wants her to do. #1) Change your locks. #2) take all valuables, jewelry, money, important papers, etc. Put in a safe deposit box. #3) Change all passwords and pins. #4) Report lost credit and debit cards, they will issue new cards with new numbers. #5) You might want to close out current checking and savings accounts. Transfer all money to new respective accounts. In today's society I'm overly cautious. Wish you the best in your rescheduled interview.

Ok, I am a mother of two and just cutting contact is difficult. In this case, throwing him out was your only choice. If his aunt loves so much that he's always right, let her take financial responsibility for him. No more of you paying anything for him. He forfeited that when he cost you that job. And he most likely did. He can pay his own way or wait for college until he can better afford it. He isn't the first grown up to have do that. The word here is grown up. He is not a child. cut the apron strings. He will be mad for a while but he will get over it.

This isn't over. Change the locks, get an alarm system and lock away all valuables. If sis thinks you're so wrong tell her to sell HER house and move to the city and support him. See how fast she backpedals. It's easy to tell someone else how to raise their kids, especially when you don't have any and don't know what you're talking about. You're not there, you'll never have the whole story so stay out of it. It's none of your business. Check the deed regularly as well. Don't put it past him to forge your name to papers and sell the house.

My husband's sister has been manipulating his mother her entire life. She devised to stay in the family home as her father was sick and died. live off of her parents her entire life, while my husband had to go rescue her and be at his parents' beck and call. They provided her with condos, credit cards, brand new vehicles, many private schools for her daughter, and paid for every little thing so she wouldn't have to work. Now, my MIL has become totally isolated from friends, and now family believes that sister is her devoted caregiver while living it up. This guy may not be in trouble with anyone at all, but I agree that he's setting the OP up in order to get what's left. That this guy called to cancel your interview screams everything you need to know: now you have to stay strong and keep him out of the house. The next move is isolating you. Don't let him come back.

NTA. He sounds pretty intense. Keep your eyes open & your purse, etc locked. He's not homeless, he can find a job. It was hard but You made it ok, then he will,too. Good luck with your new job! Made sure you set firm terms for him returning that he must agree to Before He Comes Back. Then stick to it. He's whining & whining just like like little kids do. You didn't put up with it then. Don't Put Up With It Now

Somethings going on, being it mental illness, personal issues, drugs, people hes now hanging out with, influence of somehow, if this is not, as she stated, normally like this at all.

I think that something is going on with the son. Psychologically meaning hes exhibiting signs that he doesn't wanna be on his own hes anxious about being away from his mom and that's normal if hes never been away from home by himself and has just been him and his mom but but I raise my dollar myself also and and she could not wait and she moved to another province But quickly move back act not to the same city but within a couple hours of home. Mom you've done your job you birth you burst them you raise them you did everything you could now it's time for your little boy to stand on his own 2' 2' and make His way in the world. Don't feel bad. There may be other parents out there thinking that we're mean but it's hard raising a child on your own and I'm sorry raising a child by yourself is a full time job in and of itself though and now it's your turn you still have time to have a life yes change all change all your codes and addresses addresses so that he does not have access to Them

Like many other people have mentioned, "out of character behavior" is a big clue that something else might be going on in the background that she's unaware of like a drug or gambling addiction. After the way he's been acting and the stunt he pulled, I'd get him out of my house until I figured out what was going on bc I'd be concerned he'd try something else that might cause me financial issues. That is a serious breach of trust, manipulative, and a child that is far overstepping his bounds. He needs to learn to take care of his own responsibilities. That's part of life. As far as the sister goes...she can mind her own business. Don't worry about her 2 cents bc those imaginary kids she's raised didn't make her an expert on how to raise your own.

This is an extremely sad situation. I don't see how you could have done any different. Accept that you did what you had to, and maybe give yourself some time to grieve for the son you no longer have. It can be worse to lose a child to this then death, because at least there can be honor in death. Accept, and give yourself time to grieve.

Nta. Son has no respect, and the mom was too nice anyway.

Well, then, I guess the "super protective aunt" can sell her house and move with him to the city, then. If I was the one paying for my kid's schooling, and they pulled what OP's son did, I'd withdraw all financial help and tell them to get a job and figure it out on their own. I feel like that is what's wrong here - he wasn't disciplined properly growing up, because his mom was probably too busy trying to make up for him having a 1 parent household. She most likely gave him the world as best as she could, and he now thinks he can just get his way. It's not her fault. My own kids are spoiled. We have boundaries, though. No means no and drop it. I feel so bad for OP and I fear for her getting her house sold out from underneath her and being left with nothing. At 20, it's time for the son to grow up and support himself.

I would have loved to see any of mine try something like that and walking around to be able to tell the Aunt. Mummy has not reached dependent stage and he does that. I am agreeing with everyone change all pin codes and locks to your house and inform your bank ...lawyer he does not carry out business for you ...he might sell the house with her in it ...she has to be very careful she might end up homeless...and if sister was not around during the struggle do not listen to her.

I wonder how he expects her to move to the city without a job...

You've done your job. Kick the bird out of the best. Kick him to your sister's house. Make a toast to them every night!

Congrats. You raised an entitled brat. If the aunt cares so much, let her take care of him. He crossed a line. And unless you are unable to care for yourself, he has no business talking to you about selling your home.

It's all fun and games raising an entitled brat til you start seeing the consequences

Sorry, this is probably an unpopular opinion, but she is living a nightmare she created for herself. Human beings do not suddenly turn into totally different people. This son is a monster. But the fact that he felt justified cancelling this interview and that he felt confident he could convince her to sell the house, suggests that he is likely operating in a paradigm that is very familiar and very comfortable for him. It sounds like this mom parented out of guilt. She "gave" him everything in the hopes it would make up for the things she couldn't provide for him. What she ended up with is a nightmare. A human piece of garbage for a kid who will use her until she is empty and then he will walk over her corpse in search of his next victim. What a waste of a person.

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This sort of entitled behavior happens when kids are coddled. I'm sure he was mommy's precious angel who could do no wrong. We see how we that turned out.