Husband Asks His Friend To Leave So His Worn-Out Wife That Works In Healthcare Can Rest, Friend Lashes Out
Everyone knows that there are a few things in life that a person absolutely must have – well, having a secure and healthy friendship is one of them. Our peers help us grow into these outstanding individuals, and with them, we’re much closer to living that stress-free life that everybody yearns to have.
Of course, finding that strong connection can sometimes feel like a rocky journey. We’re all different people with contrasting mindsets, and there’s a big chance that your once dearest friend will turn into an individual that doesn’t hold the same values anymore. Growing together doesn’t always result in an everlasting bond, but what’s crucial is for you to remember to put your well-being first, even if it means cutting off a friend or two.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes an argument provoked by a simple request leaves you no other choice than to reconsider your friendship
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This online user took his concern to one of the most popular online communities to discuss his somewhat absurd situation. “AITA for kicking my friend out of my bedroom so my wife could take a nap?” A fight provoked by a simple request bothered the author enough to seek help from fellow Reddit users, as he wanted to find out whether he’s indeed the villain of the story. The post received over 20K upvotes and 2.5K worth of comments discussing his friend’s toxic approach.
Redditor wondered if he’s indeed a jerk for asking his friend to leave as his overworked wife wanted to rest after her nursing shift
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The author of the post began his story with an introduction; he’s a 28-year-old husband to his 27-year-old partner who is a certified nursing assistant. The wife works day and night and is also attending school to become an autopsy technician, so the woman often comes back home quite exhausted.
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The man revealed that his significant other constantly picks up extra shifts, works doubles and even triples, and due to such a busy lifestyle, she frequently takes a nap once she comes back home from her duties.
However, a rather unpleasant situation occurred one day involving the OP’s friend. The author shared that his wife and the friend do not get along as he tends to make the woman uncomfortable, yet they’ve agreed not to stand in between their friendships just because one of them doesn’t get along with someone. Well, the friend was over at their house, playing video games with the OP when his wife called to let him know that she was on her way home. The man disclosed that the woman sounded pretty exhausted, and he even asked her if she would be okay driving or if he should come and pick her up.
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The woman said that she was fine to drive and that she’d see the OP later. The guy also decided to reveal that the only TV they have is located in their bedroom, where he and his friend were playing the aforementioned video games. A couple of minutes later, the author’s wife came back home and he went to greet her.
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The poor woman then practically collapsed into her husband’s arms and said that she could really use a nap. The OP took her to their bedroom and politely told the friend that it was time for him to leave, as his wife needed to rest. The friend then began to talk back and asked these unnecessary questions, suggesting that the woman could just sleep there while they were playing, yet the author explained that the silly game could wait as his wife’s needs always come first.
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The friend then asked another question and wondered why the OP’s wife couldn’t just crash on the couch; the man says that he wasn’t going to make his overworked wife sleep on their sofa just because he wanted to keep playing the video games. As expected, the overly audacious friend decided to cause a scene, so he slammed down his controller and went to leave – however, before he did, he turned to the woman and told her “I bet you’re happy he always feels like he has to pick you over anyone”.
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Later on, the OP’s friends bombarded his phone, basically saying that what he did was against the infamous “bro” protocol and that it was rude to kick the friend out just so that his wife could sleep. On the other hand, the man revealed that all of his married friends are totally on his side, so, perhaps this situation is a matter of maturity.
Fellow online users shared their own thoughts and opinions
I'm 47 with a mortgage and full time job and have a friend thats been on disability or workers comp or something for his entire adult life because of a car accident. Recently texted me that I'm a piece of s**t friend because I don't "hang out" anymore. Sometimes you gotta just tell somebody to f@#$ off and get their own life.
I would give your comment 1000 upvotes if I could. You are spot on.
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I think he should have asked his "friend" to leave BEFORE his wife got home. She didn't need to hear that bullsh*t.
At the very least, he could've at least told his friend hey, my wife's gonna be home in X minutes and we'll have to go do something else so she can sleep.
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Is it any wonder that all the "bro" friends are single, while all the married friends get it? E, and all his bros, are AHs. Let them be incels without you. This may be the very first time I've ever quoted the Bible, but "when I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: But when I became a man, I put away childish things."
Well said. OP needs to ditch the single assholes he calls friends. And give E the finger.
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WTF? If you are being a guest in somebody's house and they tell you it's time to leave, you don't question it. You don't own their house, don't pay the rent. you have absolutely no right to demand anything and tell them they should sleep on the couch because you aren't done in their bedroom. The audacity.
My fiancé wouldn’t have someone over to the house that made me feel uncomfortable. This dude sounds like a good guy, but he really needs to drop his idiot friends. This should really be a wake up call for him. His wife felt bad for wanting to sleep in her own bed? Clearly his rude friends have made her feel second class in her own relationship. No wonder these guys make her uncomfortable.
"Bros before h**s"? How old are they? Your family and wife (and real friends) come before people using such terms!
If people are intimating that you're wife is a whore, even in jest, they're not your friends. If that one "friend" is angry that your wife wants to use her bed in her home, and you support her, he's not your friend either.
People in healthcare often develop a good sense for others. I’d say if she didn’t like him in the first place, there is a good reason. He just showed you how right she was.
You should tell him to fvck right off! You're married to her, not him. Sounds a lot like jealousy to me.
Dude, your friend is acting like a spoiled brat on the playground pitching a fit because the other kids don't want to play the game he wants to play.
Bro's before hoe's is not a thing when you're married. If you think otherwise, please don't get married.
Exactly. It might be Bros before hoes but it becomes wife is for life
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I don't know how that guy was there to begin with. No one who made my partner feel uncomfortable would ever be at my house. If you must, go drink a beer at some bar but don't hang out at home. As for the rest... This is self explanatory.
Exactly. The word uncomfortable stuck out big time. That's not the same as just disliking someone.
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As someone who works in healthcare, I WISH my ex would have done something like this instead of staying up until 3am only making the problem worse most of the time. The sleep deprivation I experienced was horrible.
.....bros before hos ?..........you call them friends ?.............just wow
I've heard of this scenario before. One person changes, the other doesn't and won't adapt.
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When my best friend got married, it became harder to see him since he spent so much time with her instead of hanging out with me. While it made me sad and a bit jealous that we didnt spend as much time together as before, more so I was happy he found someone he loved. I got over it and now while we still don't see each other in person too much we talk a lot. E is an a*****e and OP did the right thing.
Frankly, your friends shouldn’t be in your bedroom at all - that private space, not entertaining space. Move the tv and get better friends.
This cant be real right? What are you 16? I'm sorry but you should never have to ask someone to leave your house twice in a row.
Probably younger than 16. This wife comes home and collapses? They have a couch in the living room but not a TV? The wife after working doubles and triples apologizes and days she could have moved to the couch? He says mine and my wife's house instead of our home or just at home? This writer is a child.
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Dude should've asked his friend to leave right after he got off the phone with his wife. Then she wouldn't have been subjected to his horrible friend's rage.
Forget that idiot. You don't needs "friends" that act that way. Your wife is your best friend.
The friends are selfish and arw only thinking about what they want. In future, if you want to hang out with them, consider going to their place instead of inviting them to your place.
Your friend E and all the other friends who took his side are not your friends. You are married and your wife is not a hoe. I am so sorry that you think that he's a friend and that those other people are too. And you can tell that POS E that the day you guys said I do mean she will always come first before anybody and everybody else. That is how a marriage works. NTA
Overall, this guy sounds like a really good husband! But his friends are awful and he does need to distance himself from them, not just to protect his wife, but because they’re a bunch of entitled, immature, sexist 16 year old twats who clearly believe their wants override others’ needs.
i think the only thing i would've done different, is to warn the friend that in a few minutes wife will be home, nap will happen, and he will need to leave (wife already exhausted on the phone so 2+2=4). if friend still behaved like a 3y old kid, he wouldn't be my friend anymore.
Yo………WTFFFF??? You need to cancel ALL THOSE ASSHOLES IMMEDIATELY!!! What In Sam Hill is wrong with some people??? That is some really DISRESPECTFUL S**T & your Wife sounds like a great person!!!
I hope OP doesn't apologize. That's emotional manipulation. E is withholding connection to get what he wants. OP politely asked his friend to leave, he doesn't need to apologize for that. If anyone in this situation should be apologizing, it should be E for his selfish behavior. The friends texting in E's defense were pretty shitty too. Why were they even getting involved? It wasn't their business.
You're a great husband and a caring person, NOT an AH! Any people that have such juvenile and selfish reactions, like your "friend" E, an other "friends" that support him, are not worth keeping around. "Bros before h**s" my ass, they're not your bros, they're selfish, entitled pricks whose mentality got stuck in middle school.
NTA. Your friends sounds like they had only one night stands to the point where the women could only stand them for one night. Stick with your married friends it seems like y'all have more in common. Again NTA AT ALL.
NTA but apparently all of your friends are and I'm guessing none of them are married. Your wife comes first. You should tell all of your friends you are done with them.
I’d get rid of they friends when u get married ur vowing to put that persons needs above all others ur wife’s decent enough to work like crazy while going to school and letting ur friends into ur home without complaints and they treat her like mud that’s not on
My ex did something similar to me, not as bad though. I'm a nurse. I actually got off on time from work and made it home by 7:45pm. I turn the corner and my driveway is full of cars, causing me to have to park on the street (mistake #1). I get in the door about 5 of his friends are sitting around and one was looking in the refridgerator (mistake #2). Then ex asks me why was I home (mistake #3). I say because I live here and WTF is doing he in my refridgerator when he didn't buy anything to go in it? After I said that, I proceed to the bedroom. Soon I hear the front door open and cars cranking. This dummy had the nerve to ask why I came in the house with an attitude and ran his friends away. I tell him, "there should never be a time where I have to park on the street in front of my house. Plus after working a long day, I don't always want to look at your face, let alone your funky ass friends." Within 5 minutes he was gone and I had a peaceful night alone.
People who say "Bros before Hoes" need to go. A sure sign of a toxic friend.
The husband isn't the a*****e but the so called friend is. If he were a true friend it wouldn't matter that the husband put his wife and her needs first. The "friend" is a garbage person who has a lot of growing up to do, as well as the guys who blasted the husband with the bros before ho's crap.
If your friends don't respect your wife/husband/partner and don't understand that a partner comes first, they shouldn't be your regular friends. Married or unmarried, doesn't matter, both should be able to understand that.
Bros before what now?! She is your wife! That's why they are not married cause they are misogynistic assholes! Why are you friends with them?! Seriously. How can you be friends with people that say s**t like that?! Your wife is your partner that you chose to spend your life with and anyone disrespecting her should not be in your life. Ever. I would have a huge problem with my husband being friends with scum like that.
If paying more attention to your buddy is more important than your wife, then you could make your "bro" the happiest dude in town- single and free to play video games with him instead of having a real life with a wife. Maybe bro doesn't have the nerve to approach real life and video games is all he can handle.. Bro and all those other bros who blasted your phone with messages, should now be on your no contact list. Find other grown-ups and leave the toddlers behind.
Bros before hoes, but Wife is LIfe. Characterizing someone's wife as a 'hoe' is really not the cool plan people think it is.
You can always tell what type of person someone is based on how they treat their controller 🎮
If a total stranger has to sleep I am pooling my child away to not disturb. It is not matter of wich person but which need is more important. The friend is probably having issues with gaming. He is sick person. I only wonder how that other friends are supporting this sick behavior?
Yes, thank you. It's not even "who comes first", it's that one has way more serious needs (and rights, since it's her freaking bedroom) than the other.
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NTA tell your friend to go f**k himself and find new friends . Send him back home to his mommy so he can play video games all day long without interruption . The f*****g nerve .
It sounds like you should listen to your wife when she says someone makes her uncomfortable. He's a nut burger. And the other friends are stupid children.
My husband blocked his best friend from childhood as he (the friend) starting to believe in conspiracy theories and would send him articles and every conversation would include something about them. He was coming for a visit back home and my husband told him he could not come over due to his vaccination status (not vaccinated) which led him to not only send my husband another article but wanting to start sending stuff to me as well. I always thought this guy was a complete narcissist and did whatever he wanted regardless of the consequences. Good riddance.
Sounds like this dude is a bit of a pushover. That guy E is a little boy who probably nearly 30 & still acting like he’s 18. Ditch him.
MY QUESTION IS FOR THE HUSBAND, why are you laying on the bed playing video games with your friend? Your exhausted wife is working double and sometimes triple shifts AND goes to school. Do you have a job ??? I think she needs to get rid of some dead weight, your friend e and YOU. GROW UP AND SUPPORT YOUR WIFE. To hell with your loser friends.
You didn't even prioritize your wife above your friend. You prioritized your wife's health needs above your friend's video game playtime. It sounds like he was already brittle over some other slight and snapped on you. I still would keep him and his bros before hos crowd at a distance. It's not like you have to stop seeing them over this, but... What would you want to put much effort into fair weather friends? Have them over for the occasional party and focus on developing your friendships with your more mature friends.
Initially I thought this is an easy problem to solve, just a get another cheap tv, even a used one if money is tight. However, after his friends immature and selfish behavior he needs to be cut loose unless he sincerely apologizes to both you and your hard working wife. Personally I would never have any man in my house that made my wife uncomfortable. You’re a good husband for sticking up for your wife and she is obviously a sweetheart too by saying she could have slept on the couch instead of calling your friend what he really is, an Ahole.
I see no mention of this so called husband working. I guess that's the way it is now, lay on your worthless lazy ass while your wife works her butt off. I can see why and how these lazy butt brain warped millennials will let this once great country go down the drain.
10000 correct and right on point concerning the husband
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The bros before h**s mentality is 1, toxic AF. And 2, wasn't intended to mean "you must hang out with bros before any female". It was intended as "if a bro and a random vagina-haver both need help, help the bro". It wasn't meant to be used to disparage significant others. And E is an AH for using it that way.
I'm just gonna guess that none of the single guy "friends" never actually spoken to a woman nor have ever touched grass before because they all sound like they have the mentality of a spoiled 5 year old. OP had every right to ask him to leave so his wife can sleep and not to mention he should probably end the friendships he has that are still mentally stuck in kindergarten.
Hm. Nta. But I do think it could have been avoided by some communication with your friend. But then again, a true friend would never be offended by being asked to leave!
NTA.. you are right to put the person who is working her butt off first. It is her house and your friend is SO lucky your wife is nicer than I am. I would have told to "f" himself and given suggestions for just how hard he could do it.
Woulda stomped a new hole in that guys ass. Open your mouth about my fiance and you're gonna get reminded where the line is
You are a good husband. And it sounds like you are much more mature than your friends.
A wife is not a hoe and if you think so, that's probably why you're single
Some guys think that everyone with a vagina (except for their mommy, of course) is a "hoe".
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These AITA stories are getting more and more stupid. Am I the a*****e for asking someone politely to leave while my wife collapses in my arms out of sheer exhaustion (not gonna lie, think there might be some exaggeration for drama there)
I can't believe the poster even needs to ask this question. Oh my gosh. He's not in the wrong here. E was horrible and totally not considerate. The world doesn't revolve around E.
I can believe it if E triangulated and got a bunch of others on his side. It's a form of gaslighting, and it's effective at clouding the target's judgment.
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I think the line "all my married friends are on my side" is all he really needs to know that he's not the a*****e.
His wife comes first. Let the "friend" go to amother friends to play video games. By the way, why is the wife killing herself with school, full time job, extra shifts and the husband is playing video games like a little kid?????? Time to get a second job, buster, and help the wife. Believe me, I did all that and raised two kids. Video games need to go.
I'd like to say this is an awesome husband. You can always have time to make more friends, but you can't always make time to be a quality husband if you're not backing your wife and her needs over that of ah friends. I'd hope the friend isn't married, because that woman is in for a rude awakening.
This is not even just a matter of who is more important but whose need is more important. Video games are play Responsibilities come first. Sleep is a rare commodity when you're working so much but also very important for doing your job. Anyone who doesn't recognize that hasn't grown up yet.
As a nurse, working triples is not legal but not sure why cna can. Your body cannot take that abuse long pulse you become danger to your patients . As for your friend, get rid of him. Toxic and probably will cause you to ultimately choose ending in major issues.
NTA...... wife. Not a hoe. And even if you kicked them out because a prostitute you just met wanted to nap in your bed.... it's still your bedroom, and you can still kick him out, and it's absolutely rude and disgusting for your friend to react that way.
Sounds like he has middle schoolers for friends instead of actual grown men. He was right for being attentive to his wife's needs over his friend's desire to keep playing video games. "Bros before hoes" ?! I would dropkick those guys for referring to your wife as a hoe. It's your wife, not some hit it and quit it side piece
It's her home too, she has a right to sleep in her own bed, the 'friend' does not.
I bet you E, and the other friends are not married and probably radiate "r/niceguy" energy. Maybe they're 18-23 years old, cause they all sounded like they were 16 year olds with no job.
And another thing, if I wanted to sleep in my own bed, in my own house, where I pay the rent, I can. If I wanted to kick you out my own house, I can. And if I wanted to whoop your ass after you threw a fit for having to leave my own damn house, I sure as hell can.
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He's the a*****e for failing to recognize why his wife had a problem with "E" in the first place. This didn't come out of nowhere. Clearly this dude needs a better caliber of friends, and he should be taking a good hard look at the quality of the ones he has if they're going to pull "bros before h**s" in reference TO HIS WIFE.
The little boys need to grow up. When you marry, your spouse comes before your friends. End of story. Bye bye. See you later.
How about F the bro code an opt in for some just human decency. My husband and I are married and are extremely happy and I always tell him go out and hang out with your friends, his friends are single. But his friends also have an understanding that he’s married and are totally cool with it they don’t act like immature jackasses.
The fact that this lame is even asking such a stupid question in the first place is cause for concern. If he doesn't realize right off the bat that his friend is a whiny little b***h who needs to respect his wife and home, and actually has to go online to ask a bunch of random strangers if he's in the wrong, that's pretty damn pitiful
Honestly this could have been solved by not having the gaming equipment in the bedroom
This whole thing has nothing to do with this friend, that's just a symptom of the problem. Look at the big picture. This ridiculous self serving generation is beyond sickening. All over this country there are these lazy butt guys that find a woman with a good job and shack up with her or marry her and expect her to work her butt off while they lay on their lazy good for nothing ass all day playing video games or smoking joints etc etc. You don't even know who built this great nation. If men would have had this ridiculous millennial attitude after WW 11, this country would not have survived. You are the up and coming generation, you better WAKE UP!!!!
Ok. Those friends and yourself need a reminder. If you want your life to improve you have to have friends that has what you want in live!! If not generosity can only go so far until a fire starts!! I know in life fe I can always find a casual friend for a few week if I really wanted. Just don't I do not like that stress of differences. It took long enough to even find my husband to get alone with me and vise versa!!! Married 28 years!!! He should have been able to go to his friends house to play those games if he was a true friend that really had the same interests!!
I'm not married and I think that "friend" is acting like a brat. Hell even I would tell guests to leave when I want to call it a night. No bro, you need to leave unless you want to be my b***h. No? Yes, the door is that way.
Nta, but tv's are moveable. Tbh, we move ours around all the time, if need be
If I had come home exhausted n found my bf with friends being noisy he wouldn't even think twice about telling them it's time to go home guys. N if they had refused to leave? We BOTH woulda just yeated them out the front door by the twig n giggleberries lol.
Spouses always come before friends. E is acting like a spoiled brat and the OP needs drop him now.
AITA for feeling really bored with these AITA questions? How about doing what is right, and what feels right? Why does every bloody god-freakin-damn thing have to be justified and accepted by the rest of the goddamn world? Damn I'm getting annoyed. Sorry.
Thanks for sharing, mate. I hear your frustration. I upvoted you to counter act the downvotes, which you don't deserve.
Load More Replies... NTA maybe E is secretly in love with you or your wife? Or is that just a plot twist only seen in movies?
Although these sort of things happen in real life, in this situation E seems more like someone who thinks they are still 15, and forgets that their 'friend' has a life outside of their little friend circle and video games. Edit: fixed some small typos.
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Agree with everyone else...and am I the only one wondering why this woman has to work SO many hours while her husband is home playing video games??
On husband asks his friend to leave because of worn out wife. Yes...sleep comes before play! Question? What do you do to help financially in your marriage so your wife doesn't have to have it so rough? Do you also work double shifts? Or even work for that matter? How come your friend can seem to come over morning..noon or night? Does he work? Could be a good question as to why they act so spoiled. If you work your butt off you know hiw important your sleep is to survive for the next shift. Big deal if yoyr fantasy land play has to wait for real world expenses so you have electricity to play your games!
First off you're a grown man child! Your wife not only goes to school full time but she also works full time hell sometimes double/triple shifts, you should be working them doubles/triples instead of her killing herself while you're at home playing video games! Secondly, you are a married man, you shouldn't have "friends" over playing video games in the same room your wife sleeps in, that is a private room. If you only have one tv, move it into the living room in order for you and your friends to play video games. Third, you definitely need better friends, you married your wife not your friends and for your "friend" to try and say bro's before hoes is rudely and disrespectfully calling your wife a hoe so he deserves to get his teeth knocked out!!
So OP's wife works a thousand shifts and he is at home playing video games with his friend? I don't get the feeling that this was just his "day off." To add to that, why is his POS friend in their bedroom. Immaturity all around.
NTA, but exactly why is his wife having to work double and triple shifts, while he's at home playing video games? I'm sure she is paying for school, but at what point does she get a break? Exhausted to the point of collapsing, only to have to deal with the a**hole of a friend. In addition to getting some new friends, maybe he should be the caring husband and put down the controller and work a few extra shifts in order to give her a break.
AITA for wondering what this guy does for a living? I mean why is she working triple shifts? There's legitimate reasons as to why. I just kept wondering this the further I read.
While OP on initial take comes across as a nice, concerned and caring husband, I had a change of opinion. He is not the a$$hole for telling his friend to leave. He is the a$$hole for not telling his friend to leave before his wife got home. He is the a$$hole for not anticipating that she would need to rest once she got home, since she sounded so exhausted that he asked if she wanted him to come pick her up. He is also the a$$hole for having a friend over that his wife doesn't like, even though she doesn't tell him who to hang out with, more so for having this friend in their bedroom. He is the a$$hole for even writing in about this. And a$$hole again for not figuring out that he should have not been an a$$hole. And @$$hole once more for still being in the bedroom once she got home, as he should have figured she would be that tired. This is not a one-off, it is a regular occurence with her schedule. While his friend is an @$$hole, he is one many times over.
I'm 47 with a mortgage and full time job and have a friend thats been on disability or workers comp or something for his entire adult life because of a car accident. Recently texted me that I'm a piece of s**t friend because I don't "hang out" anymore. Sometimes you gotta just tell somebody to f@#$ off and get their own life.
I would give your comment 1000 upvotes if I could. You are spot on.
Load More Replies... I think he should have asked his "friend" to leave BEFORE his wife got home. She didn't need to hear that bullsh*t.
At the very least, he could've at least told his friend hey, my wife's gonna be home in X minutes and we'll have to go do something else so she can sleep.
Load More Replies... Is it any wonder that all the "bro" friends are single, while all the married friends get it? E, and all his bros, are AHs. Let them be incels without you. This may be the very first time I've ever quoted the Bible, but "when I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: But when I became a man, I put away childish things."
Well said. OP needs to ditch the single assholes he calls friends. And give E the finger.
Load More Replies... WTF? If you are being a guest in somebody's house and they tell you it's time to leave, you don't question it. You don't own their house, don't pay the rent. you have absolutely no right to demand anything and tell them they should sleep on the couch because you aren't done in their bedroom. The audacity.
My fiancé wouldn’t have someone over to the house that made me feel uncomfortable. This dude sounds like a good guy, but he really needs to drop his idiot friends. This should really be a wake up call for him. His wife felt bad for wanting to sleep in her own bed? Clearly his rude friends have made her feel second class in her own relationship. No wonder these guys make her uncomfortable.
"Bros before h**s"? How old are they? Your family and wife (and real friends) come before people using such terms!
If people are intimating that you're wife is a whore, even in jest, they're not your friends. If that one "friend" is angry that your wife wants to use her bed in her home, and you support her, he's not your friend either.
People in healthcare often develop a good sense for others. I’d say if she didn’t like him in the first place, there is a good reason. He just showed you how right she was.
You should tell him to fvck right off! You're married to her, not him. Sounds a lot like jealousy to me.
Dude, your friend is acting like a spoiled brat on the playground pitching a fit because the other kids don't want to play the game he wants to play.
Bro's before hoe's is not a thing when you're married. If you think otherwise, please don't get married.
Exactly. It might be Bros before hoes but it becomes wife is for life
Load More Replies... I don't know how that guy was there to begin with. No one who made my partner feel uncomfortable would ever be at my house. If you must, go drink a beer at some bar but don't hang out at home. As for the rest... This is self explanatory.
Exactly. The word uncomfortable stuck out big time. That's not the same as just disliking someone.
Load More Replies... As someone who works in healthcare, I WISH my ex would have done something like this instead of staying up until 3am only making the problem worse most of the time. The sleep deprivation I experienced was horrible.
.....bros before hos ?..........you call them friends ?.............just wow
I've heard of this scenario before. One person changes, the other doesn't and won't adapt.
Load More Replies... When my best friend got married, it became harder to see him since he spent so much time with her instead of hanging out with me. While it made me sad and a bit jealous that we didnt spend as much time together as before, more so I was happy he found someone he loved. I got over it and now while we still don't see each other in person too much we talk a lot. E is an a*****e and OP did the right thing.
Frankly, your friends shouldn’t be in your bedroom at all - that private space, not entertaining space. Move the tv and get better friends.
This cant be real right? What are you 16? I'm sorry but you should never have to ask someone to leave your house twice in a row.
Probably younger than 16. This wife comes home and collapses? They have a couch in the living room but not a TV? The wife after working doubles and triples apologizes and days she could have moved to the couch? He says mine and my wife's house instead of our home or just at home? This writer is a child.
Load More Replies... Dude should've asked his friend to leave right after he got off the phone with his wife. Then she wouldn't have been subjected to his horrible friend's rage.
Forget that idiot. You don't needs "friends" that act that way. Your wife is your best friend.
The friends are selfish and arw only thinking about what they want. In future, if you want to hang out with them, consider going to their place instead of inviting them to your place.
Your friend E and all the other friends who took his side are not your friends. You are married and your wife is not a hoe. I am so sorry that you think that he's a friend and that those other people are too. And you can tell that POS E that the day you guys said I do mean she will always come first before anybody and everybody else. That is how a marriage works. NTA
Overall, this guy sounds like a really good husband! But his friends are awful and he does need to distance himself from them, not just to protect his wife, but because they’re a bunch of entitled, immature, sexist 16 year old twats who clearly believe their wants override others’ needs.
i think the only thing i would've done different, is to warn the friend that in a few minutes wife will be home, nap will happen, and he will need to leave (wife already exhausted on the phone so 2+2=4). if friend still behaved like a 3y old kid, he wouldn't be my friend anymore.
Yo………WTFFFF??? You need to cancel ALL THOSE ASSHOLES IMMEDIATELY!!! What In Sam Hill is wrong with some people??? That is some really DISRESPECTFUL S**T & your Wife sounds like a great person!!!
I hope OP doesn't apologize. That's emotional manipulation. E is withholding connection to get what he wants. OP politely asked his friend to leave, he doesn't need to apologize for that. If anyone in this situation should be apologizing, it should be E for his selfish behavior. The friends texting in E's defense were pretty shitty too. Why were they even getting involved? It wasn't their business.
You're a great husband and a caring person, NOT an AH! Any people that have such juvenile and selfish reactions, like your "friend" E, an other "friends" that support him, are not worth keeping around. "Bros before h**s" my ass, they're not your bros, they're selfish, entitled pricks whose mentality got stuck in middle school.
NTA. Your friends sounds like they had only one night stands to the point where the women could only stand them for one night. Stick with your married friends it seems like y'all have more in common. Again NTA AT ALL.
NTA but apparently all of your friends are and I'm guessing none of them are married. Your wife comes first. You should tell all of your friends you are done with them.
I’d get rid of they friends when u get married ur vowing to put that persons needs above all others ur wife’s decent enough to work like crazy while going to school and letting ur friends into ur home without complaints and they treat her like mud that’s not on
My ex did something similar to me, not as bad though. I'm a nurse. I actually got off on time from work and made it home by 7:45pm. I turn the corner and my driveway is full of cars, causing me to have to park on the street (mistake #1). I get in the door about 5 of his friends are sitting around and one was looking in the refridgerator (mistake #2). Then ex asks me why was I home (mistake #3). I say because I live here and WTF is doing he in my refridgerator when he didn't buy anything to go in it? After I said that, I proceed to the bedroom. Soon I hear the front door open and cars cranking. This dummy had the nerve to ask why I came in the house with an attitude and ran his friends away. I tell him, "there should never be a time where I have to park on the street in front of my house. Plus after working a long day, I don't always want to look at your face, let alone your funky ass friends." Within 5 minutes he was gone and I had a peaceful night alone.
People who say "Bros before Hoes" need to go. A sure sign of a toxic friend.
The husband isn't the a*****e but the so called friend is. If he were a true friend it wouldn't matter that the husband put his wife and her needs first. The "friend" is a garbage person who has a lot of growing up to do, as well as the guys who blasted the husband with the bros before ho's crap.
If your friends don't respect your wife/husband/partner and don't understand that a partner comes first, they shouldn't be your regular friends. Married or unmarried, doesn't matter, both should be able to understand that.
Bros before what now?! She is your wife! That's why they are not married cause they are misogynistic assholes! Why are you friends with them?! Seriously. How can you be friends with people that say s**t like that?! Your wife is your partner that you chose to spend your life with and anyone disrespecting her should not be in your life. Ever. I would have a huge problem with my husband being friends with scum like that.
If paying more attention to your buddy is more important than your wife, then you could make your "bro" the happiest dude in town- single and free to play video games with him instead of having a real life with a wife. Maybe bro doesn't have the nerve to approach real life and video games is all he can handle.. Bro and all those other bros who blasted your phone with messages, should now be on your no contact list. Find other grown-ups and leave the toddlers behind.
Bros before hoes, but Wife is LIfe. Characterizing someone's wife as a 'hoe' is really not the cool plan people think it is.
You can always tell what type of person someone is based on how they treat their controller 🎮
If a total stranger has to sleep I am pooling my child away to not disturb. It is not matter of wich person but which need is more important. The friend is probably having issues with gaming. He is sick person. I only wonder how that other friends are supporting this sick behavior?
Yes, thank you. It's not even "who comes first", it's that one has way more serious needs (and rights, since it's her freaking bedroom) than the other.
Load More Replies... NTA tell your friend to go f**k himself and find new friends . Send him back home to his mommy so he can play video games all day long without interruption . The f*****g nerve .
It sounds like you should listen to your wife when she says someone makes her uncomfortable. He's a nut burger. And the other friends are stupid children.
My husband blocked his best friend from childhood as he (the friend) starting to believe in conspiracy theories and would send him articles and every conversation would include something about them. He was coming for a visit back home and my husband told him he could not come over due to his vaccination status (not vaccinated) which led him to not only send my husband another article but wanting to start sending stuff to me as well. I always thought this guy was a complete narcissist and did whatever he wanted regardless of the consequences. Good riddance.
Sounds like this dude is a bit of a pushover. That guy E is a little boy who probably nearly 30 & still acting like he’s 18. Ditch him.
MY QUESTION IS FOR THE HUSBAND, why are you laying on the bed playing video games with your friend? Your exhausted wife is working double and sometimes triple shifts AND goes to school. Do you have a job ??? I think she needs to get rid of some dead weight, your friend e and YOU. GROW UP AND SUPPORT YOUR WIFE. To hell with your loser friends.
You didn't even prioritize your wife above your friend. You prioritized your wife's health needs above your friend's video game playtime. It sounds like he was already brittle over some other slight and snapped on you. I still would keep him and his bros before hos crowd at a distance. It's not like you have to stop seeing them over this, but... What would you want to put much effort into fair weather friends? Have them over for the occasional party and focus on developing your friendships with your more mature friends.
Initially I thought this is an easy problem to solve, just a get another cheap tv, even a used one if money is tight. However, after his friends immature and selfish behavior he needs to be cut loose unless he sincerely apologizes to both you and your hard working wife. Personally I would never have any man in my house that made my wife uncomfortable. You’re a good husband for sticking up for your wife and she is obviously a sweetheart too by saying she could have slept on the couch instead of calling your friend what he really is, an Ahole.
I see no mention of this so called husband working. I guess that's the way it is now, lay on your worthless lazy ass while your wife works her butt off. I can see why and how these lazy butt brain warped millennials will let this once great country go down the drain.
10000 correct and right on point concerning the husband
Load More Replies... The bros before h**s mentality is 1, toxic AF. And 2, wasn't intended to mean "you must hang out with bros before any female". It was intended as "if a bro and a random vagina-haver both need help, help the bro". It wasn't meant to be used to disparage significant others. And E is an AH for using it that way.
I'm just gonna guess that none of the single guy "friends" never actually spoken to a woman nor have ever touched grass before because they all sound like they have the mentality of a spoiled 5 year old. OP had every right to ask him to leave so his wife can sleep and not to mention he should probably end the friendships he has that are still mentally stuck in kindergarten.
Hm. Nta. But I do think it could have been avoided by some communication with your friend. But then again, a true friend would never be offended by being asked to leave!
NTA.. you are right to put the person who is working her butt off first. It is her house and your friend is SO lucky your wife is nicer than I am. I would have told to "f" himself and given suggestions for just how hard he could do it.
Woulda stomped a new hole in that guys ass. Open your mouth about my fiance and you're gonna get reminded where the line is
You are a good husband. And it sounds like you are much more mature than your friends.
A wife is not a hoe and if you think so, that's probably why you're single
Some guys think that everyone with a vagina (except for their mommy, of course) is a "hoe".
Load More Replies... These AITA stories are getting more and more stupid. Am I the a*****e for asking someone politely to leave while my wife collapses in my arms out of sheer exhaustion (not gonna lie, think there might be some exaggeration for drama there)
I can't believe the poster even needs to ask this question. Oh my gosh. He's not in the wrong here. E was horrible and totally not considerate. The world doesn't revolve around E.
I can believe it if E triangulated and got a bunch of others on his side. It's a form of gaslighting, and it's effective at clouding the target's judgment.
Load More Replies... I think the line "all my married friends are on my side" is all he really needs to know that he's not the a*****e.
His wife comes first. Let the "friend" go to amother friends to play video games. By the way, why is the wife killing herself with school, full time job, extra shifts and the husband is playing video games like a little kid?????? Time to get a second job, buster, and help the wife. Believe me, I did all that and raised two kids. Video games need to go.
I'd like to say this is an awesome husband. You can always have time to make more friends, but you can't always make time to be a quality husband if you're not backing your wife and her needs over that of ah friends. I'd hope the friend isn't married, because that woman is in for a rude awakening.
This is not even just a matter of who is more important but whose need is more important. Video games are play Responsibilities come first. Sleep is a rare commodity when you're working so much but also very important for doing your job. Anyone who doesn't recognize that hasn't grown up yet.
As a nurse, working triples is not legal but not sure why cna can. Your body cannot take that abuse long pulse you become danger to your patients . As for your friend, get rid of him. Toxic and probably will cause you to ultimately choose ending in major issues.
NTA...... wife. Not a hoe. And even if you kicked them out because a prostitute you just met wanted to nap in your bed.... it's still your bedroom, and you can still kick him out, and it's absolutely rude and disgusting for your friend to react that way.
Sounds like he has middle schoolers for friends instead of actual grown men. He was right for being attentive to his wife's needs over his friend's desire to keep playing video games. "Bros before hoes" ?! I would dropkick those guys for referring to your wife as a hoe. It's your wife, not some hit it and quit it side piece
It's her home too, she has a right to sleep in her own bed, the 'friend' does not.
I bet you E, and the other friends are not married and probably radiate "r/niceguy" energy. Maybe they're 18-23 years old, cause they all sounded like they were 16 year olds with no job.
And another thing, if I wanted to sleep in my own bed, in my own house, where I pay the rent, I can. If I wanted to kick you out my own house, I can. And if I wanted to whoop your ass after you threw a fit for having to leave my own damn house, I sure as hell can.
Load More Replies... He's the a*****e for failing to recognize why his wife had a problem with "E" in the first place. This didn't come out of nowhere. Clearly this dude needs a better caliber of friends, and he should be taking a good hard look at the quality of the ones he has if they're going to pull "bros before h**s" in reference TO HIS WIFE.
The little boys need to grow up. When you marry, your spouse comes before your friends. End of story. Bye bye. See you later.
How about F the bro code an opt in for some just human decency. My husband and I are married and are extremely happy and I always tell him go out and hang out with your friends, his friends are single. But his friends also have an understanding that he’s married and are totally cool with it they don’t act like immature jackasses.
The fact that this lame is even asking such a stupid question in the first place is cause for concern. If he doesn't realize right off the bat that his friend is a whiny little b***h who needs to respect his wife and home, and actually has to go online to ask a bunch of random strangers if he's in the wrong, that's pretty damn pitiful
Honestly this could have been solved by not having the gaming equipment in the bedroom
This whole thing has nothing to do with this friend, that's just a symptom of the problem. Look at the big picture. This ridiculous self serving generation is beyond sickening. All over this country there are these lazy butt guys that find a woman with a good job and shack up with her or marry her and expect her to work her butt off while they lay on their lazy good for nothing ass all day playing video games or smoking joints etc etc. You don't even know who built this great nation. If men would have had this ridiculous millennial attitude after WW 11, this country would not have survived. You are the up and coming generation, you better WAKE UP!!!!
Ok. Those friends and yourself need a reminder. If you want your life to improve you have to have friends that has what you want in live!! If not generosity can only go so far until a fire starts!! I know in life fe I can always find a casual friend for a few week if I really wanted. Just don't I do not like that stress of differences. It took long enough to even find my husband to get alone with me and vise versa!!! Married 28 years!!! He should have been able to go to his friends house to play those games if he was a true friend that really had the same interests!!
I'm not married and I think that "friend" is acting like a brat. Hell even I would tell guests to leave when I want to call it a night. No bro, you need to leave unless you want to be my b***h. No? Yes, the door is that way.
Nta, but tv's are moveable. Tbh, we move ours around all the time, if need be
If I had come home exhausted n found my bf with friends being noisy he wouldn't even think twice about telling them it's time to go home guys. N if they had refused to leave? We BOTH woulda just yeated them out the front door by the twig n giggleberries lol.
Spouses always come before friends. E is acting like a spoiled brat and the OP needs drop him now.
AITA for feeling really bored with these AITA questions? How about doing what is right, and what feels right? Why does every bloody god-freakin-damn thing have to be justified and accepted by the rest of the goddamn world? Damn I'm getting annoyed. Sorry.
Thanks for sharing, mate. I hear your frustration. I upvoted you to counter act the downvotes, which you don't deserve.
Load More Replies... NTA maybe E is secretly in love with you or your wife? Or is that just a plot twist only seen in movies?
Although these sort of things happen in real life, in this situation E seems more like someone who thinks they are still 15, and forgets that their 'friend' has a life outside of their little friend circle and video games. Edit: fixed some small typos.
Load More Replies... Agree with everyone else...and am I the only one wondering why this woman has to work SO many hours while her husband is home playing video games??
On husband asks his friend to leave because of worn out wife. Yes...sleep comes before play! Question? What do you do to help financially in your marriage so your wife doesn't have to have it so rough? Do you also work double shifts? Or even work for that matter? How come your friend can seem to come over morning..noon or night? Does he work? Could be a good question as to why they act so spoiled. If you work your butt off you know hiw important your sleep is to survive for the next shift. Big deal if yoyr fantasy land play has to wait for real world expenses so you have electricity to play your games!
First off you're a grown man child! Your wife not only goes to school full time but she also works full time hell sometimes double/triple shifts, you should be working them doubles/triples instead of her killing herself while you're at home playing video games! Secondly, you are a married man, you shouldn't have "friends" over playing video games in the same room your wife sleeps in, that is a private room. If you only have one tv, move it into the living room in order for you and your friends to play video games. Third, you definitely need better friends, you married your wife not your friends and for your "friend" to try and say bro's before hoes is rudely and disrespectfully calling your wife a hoe so he deserves to get his teeth knocked out!!
So OP's wife works a thousand shifts and he is at home playing video games with his friend? I don't get the feeling that this was just his "day off." To add to that, why is his POS friend in their bedroom. Immaturity all around.
NTA, but exactly why is his wife having to work double and triple shifts, while he's at home playing video games? I'm sure she is paying for school, but at what point does she get a break? Exhausted to the point of collapsing, only to have to deal with the a**hole of a friend. In addition to getting some new friends, maybe he should be the caring husband and put down the controller and work a few extra shifts in order to give her a break.
AITA for wondering what this guy does for a living? I mean why is she working triple shifts? There's legitimate reasons as to why. I just kept wondering this the further I read.
While OP on initial take comes across as a nice, concerned and caring husband, I had a change of opinion. He is not the a$$hole for telling his friend to leave. He is the a$$hole for not telling his friend to leave before his wife got home. He is the a$$hole for not anticipating that she would need to rest once she got home, since she sounded so exhausted that he asked if she wanted him to come pick her up. He is also the a$$hole for having a friend over that his wife doesn't like, even though she doesn't tell him who to hang out with, more so for having this friend in their bedroom. He is the a$$hole for even writing in about this. And a$$hole again for not figuring out that he should have not been an a$$hole. And @$$hole once more for still being in the bedroom once she got home, as he should have figured she would be that tired. This is not a one-off, it is a regular occurence with her schedule. While his friend is an @$$hole, he is one many times over.
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