Fans of weird social media accounts, dinosaur enthusiasts, and people who just plain enjoy a hearty chuckle are loving the Jurassic Park Updates Twitter account.
It’s a fan-made parody account that is responsible for making some incredibly bizarre and funny posts. We know that a lot of you have great memories of the Jurassic Park movies, so we invite you to enjoy this list, featuring some of the best tweets cloned from the fan account. Scroll down, upvote your faves, and remember—don’t move too much (or the dinos might see you!).
The account was created in July of 2020 so it’s as fresh as a newly minted theme park on Isla Nublar. However, it’s made some huge splashes in the short time it’s spent online: it already has more than 169k followers and we’re pretty sure those numbers will keep evolving. It’s not surprising, though—people adore the Jurassic Park movies.
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The account has a pretty large team—12 people write jokes for it. The Jurassic Park Updates account was the brainchild of 27-year-old writer PJ Evans who also runs a similar account, @Disneyland2go. Evans wanted to poke fun at companies that are trying to maintain a positive public image while being knee-deep in problems.
The very first Jurassic Park movie came out in 1993 and was directed by film industry legend Steven Spielberg. What fans of the franchise know but some of you might have missed is that the movie was based on a novel by Michael Chrichton published in 1990 and a screenplay that he and David Koepp wrote together.
So every dinosaur could run for president in the US. They have the same qualifications as the current one.
Now, there are 5 Jurassic Park movies released, the latest of which (Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom) hit the silver screens in 2018. Though fans are eagerly waiting for June 2021. Why? Because that’s when Jurassic World: Dominion comes out. Honestly, I’m excited for this one. The original movie’s protagonists Sam Neill, Laura Dern, and Jeff Goldblum are reprising their characters for major roles in Dominion.
But why do the Jurassic Park movies capture our imaginations? What makes them so special? The short answer is—dinosaurs. It might be obvious but it’s true. When the original Jurassic Park came out, it was the very first time that movie audiences could see what dinos might have looked like way back when they were alive. It was new. It was fresh. It was as powerful as a T-Rex.
I'd like to repport one at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC 20500
And let’s not forget just how stunning the visuals were when the first movie released 27 years ago. The visuals still hold up to this day, even though special effects artist Dennis Muren thought that they’d be obsolete in 5 or 10 years. With the Jurassic Park franchise set to continue evolving with the times, we’re glad that there are parody accounts like Jurassic Park Updates to constantly remind us why cloning dinos might seem like a great idea but is probably best left for Hollywood.
What could possibly be the word that has been blurred out 🤔 I guess we will never know ...
i have decided humans are lambs and we will be feeding them to the t-rex
I just watched that tonight (again) and may have mourned her.
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When I'm embarrassed, I eat the witnesses. Or at the very least bite their heads off.
I heard from my American friends that their president has the same effect on the majority of the sane Americans.
Must be a member of Trumps staff: Stating the obvious while not being helpful at all.
Mummies aren't any fun. They always break up the game when you're about to set fire to your sister.
"The Mercenaries we talked about earlier? Turns out that they STILL can't defeat the Velocans with their weird laser cannons they flew in earlier. Also, turns out the enemy have made saddles for the Ankylosaurs. Also, the shipment of fences came today, except that weren't fences. We instead got ANOTHER military force, this time they've called themselves the Forage Harvesters or something like that... Something to do with farming. Anyway, we're never making a business deal with Mesa Hill again."
"Ok, so it turns out the Military are not going to nuke this park, as it turns out that this is actually territory of Cuba, and we don't want to risk another war. And the Mososaurus escaped today, but not before killing everyone we locked inside the underwater observatory, as a temporary shelter. Anyway, the Velocans have not only stolen Firearms, Explosives, and Armour from both of the armies, they have tamed the Mososaurus and are using it as an anti-ship weapon. It is not out of the question that we really screwed up and are stuck here forever."
"So, some of the Velocans have not destroyed the ships, but instead have boarded it and killed everyone on board, they have then stolen their clothes, and have turned it around and are now sailing to somewhere else. Also, we were expecting a bunch of Ichthyosaurs, but instead we got Velocans, because they replace all of the DNA with their own, and now have a population in the hundred thousands. We also were expecting a rescue helicopter, but the pilot got eaten. Also the Dilophosaurs have escaped, and have been domesticated by Velocans, and are currently being held in the C.F.C. "
"Yeah, it turns out that they can speak English now. One of them said 'Clever girl this!' and blew Linda's brains across the wall. Also they've completely took over the old Visitor's Center, this is a problem because that place has a secret transmitter behind it, and they could probably hold Earth hostage. We've contacted the Mexican government, and they said that they were battling a ton of lizard people, so we said that they were the Velocans, and they asked us if we made them, so we said yes, and before we could explain, they hung up."
Because why settle for Cancer 1 if you can get the new and more deadly cancer 2 ?
"We asked if we could borrow a few hundred Blue UH-1s with heavy duty cranes from some zoo in Germany for extraction of the dinosaurs, they said yes, so they arrive and the Velocans instantly climb up the chains connecting the helicopter to the crate, and hijack them. So not only to the Velocans have helicopters now, but they are also sniping anyone who steps outside. People are hungry and diseased, we are running out of time."
"Ok, the entirety of the Amazon rainforest is overrun with Velocans, and they're steadily moving towards NASA's facilities. Jerry says they're trying to find a way off the planet, but i think they're planning to destroy Lady Liberty. Japan says they're less aggressive over there, for some reason. We hope they leave the planet soon, maybe we can form an alliance. My small group of 23 are the only people left alive. All the dinosaurs have left their cages and are running wild. A helicopter arrived at midnight to extract Weird Al, who stayed here and he told us to 'Stick that damn E-Ticket up our asses'. Needless to say, we're bankrupt and i will be in prison for life due to War Crimes. Goodbye."
Had high hopes, but these aren't witty at all.
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Yeah I know, I made some jokes about the tangerine toddler. Not sorry at all, the guy is an absolute b******e, a pos and disgrace to the position he's holding. It's like having a absolute psychopath for president. Correction: An absolute psychopath is president.
Ok he is but wtf, you disturb the fun. I downvoted every single one of your comments on this post.
Load More Replies... Had high hopes, but these aren't witty at all.
Load More Replies... Yeah I know, I made some jokes about the tangerine toddler. Not sorry at all, the guy is an absolute b******e, a pos and disgrace to the position he's holding. It's like having a absolute psychopath for president. Correction: An absolute psychopath is president.
Ok he is but wtf, you disturb the fun. I downvoted every single one of your comments on this post.
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