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Humans evolved to be compassionate and understand other people’s pain, unfortunate circumstances or irrational behavior. It might be because they have gone through it themselves, they can imagine how it might feel or just believe the person when they share how hard it is for them.

Even though we are compassionate, we can’t help but be judgemental as well. There are things that annoy us and we can’t find an excuse or meaning behind certain behaviors, although we often keep it to ourselves.

People were given the opportunity to vent about it on Reddit when nosovietspyhere asked, “What is something you silently judge people for?” In a week, more than 15k people joined the thread and over 19k people upvoted it confessing what behaviors they simply don’t understand and make them dislike the people conducting them.

More info: Reddit

#1

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It People who keep their dogs on chains outside 24/7.

aquaqueenz , kemorgan65 Report

According to Emma Seppälä, a Yale lecturer and a best-selling author, “Science shows that we are actually wired for compassion, not self-interest.” Dacher Keltner at the University of California, Berkeley also suggests that we don’t learn compassion, but it’s an innate instinct.

But that doesn’t stop us from judging other people. Bored Panda reached out to motivational speaker, mindset expert and co-founder of Super Connector Media Jen Gottlieb and she revealed that even the most compassionate people can be quick to judge.

#2

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It Supporting Trump.

Nubator , realdonaldtrump Report

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Libstak
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes I judge people for this. Same way I would judge someone who bullies and lies constantly then tries to claim a moral high ground for doing so. Trump is a liar, a bully and most of all an absolutely transparent con artist, how does anyone support that?

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Jen Gottlieb explained the reasons behind such feelings: “It’s usually because [people] feel threatened, insecure or competitive towards the person they are judging. People also tend to make negative judgments towards others when someone does something that reflects an aspect about themselves that they don't like.”

Turns out, it’s a form of projecting which allows judgemental people to feel like they are above others: “Instead of looking inward, they use judgment to deflect those insecurities. Judging someone gives people a false sense of hierarchy or superiority so insecure people often skip over compassion and move straight into judgment to make themselves feel better.”

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#4

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It Watching videos at full volume in public. I don’t understand this.

Chipman94 , joey zanotti Report

#5

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It Being obliviously in the way. Like getting to the end of an escalator and just standing there. Or standing with a group of people in a doorway or aisle. Or stopping to stare at your phone in the middle of the sidewalk.

Just move out of the way like 2 steps and everyones life is easier.

PretzelsThirst , Sean MacEntee Report

#6

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It I hate when ppl leave their paper coffee cup on a random shelf in Walmart when they're done with it. That's so gross and entitled. Throw away your own garbage.

Stellathewizard , Artem Beliaikin Report

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Amy Taylor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That drives me insane. Especially when I worked retail...I'd find dirty diapers in the fitting rooms too.

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Even though the person who is judging others might feel like they are superior, Jen Gottlieb believes that such behavior reveals that they might not be very happy with themselves and their lives.

The mindset expert goes into more detail about how a happy and unhappy person thinks, which influences their different views: “I would say that unhappy people are quicker to judge others and happy people are quicker to have an open mind and give people the benefit of the doubt. Unhappy people often use judgment as a tool to attempt to feel more secure within themselves. Happy people don’t need to do that because they tend to come from an abundant/collaborative mindset instead of a competitive one. Happy people also tend to look at people with a more positive lens and see the good. My fiance Chris always says ‘hurt people hurt people.’”

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#7

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It Fat people who I see running. I judge them in a good way. I always root for them.

Original-Insect9948 , Gary Paulson Report

#8

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It PEOPLE WHO DONT THROW AWAY THEIR TRASH AT FAST FOOD PLACES! Nothing screams disgusting to me more than someone who leaves all their c**p at their table and leaves

Usual_Astronaut5645 , Mark Hillary Report

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Amy Taylor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get annoyed when people do this in movie theaters. There's bins at every exit. Pick up your trash!! And no, it's not you "giving them job security".

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#9

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It Not being able to accept other viewpoints and not ever admitting that their wrong on any point.

ObjectivePin5704 , Daniel Dionne Report

The action of judging is always seen as negative and as it turns out, is a personality trait that is more common for unhappy people. Truth to be told, Jen Gottlieb doesn’t see any benefits coming from it. “Being judgemental can definitely hold you back from becoming successful because you are subconsciously (or sometimes consciously) blocking opportunities and relationships before you know what they can do for you!”

The motivational speaker reveals that in her own experience, she may not have formed some of the most powerful relationships with her friends if she had been too judgemental and wouldn’t have given them a chance.

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#10

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It If you are decked out in American Flag attire, I am concluding some things about you. Just the way it is.

sev45day , SoulRider.222 Report

#11

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It Hyping themselves up too much. Saying s**t like “that wouldn’t fly with me, everyone knows not to mess with me” or “people look up to me” or “I’ll have your back until you cross me” like bro this isn’t a movie, relax. I don’t think these people understand that the more you have to hype yourself up, the less people actually think that of you.

PrinceOfThieves17 , David Goehring Report

But critical thinking and evaluation of your actions are still very important. “There is a difference between being judgmental and thoughtful. It is important to be thoughtful and intentional with your interactions and choices, but the second you find yourself making negative preconceived notions about something or someone, you should pause and ask yourself why you are making the judgment. Did that person activate something in you that made you feel less than? It always starts and ends with the hidden ‘why’ behind the judgment.”

Do you feel like you tend to judge others more when you are feeling unhappy? Do you think there are things you would judge others for even if you are in a good mood? Do you think a little bit of judging might be beneficial? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

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#12

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It loud a*s (tweaked) motor cycles in an urban area. am not alone there though, as apparent by everybody angrily turning in the same direction when those idiots drive by.

Comprehensive_Day511 , Minneapolis Public Works TPP Report

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TheAquarius1978
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude have no idea of how many Times i wished i had an RPG7, not even kidding every single f*****g night there was a massive c...t with a quad that would wake up everyone with his s**t fart machine.

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#13

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It Having multiple children they clearly weren't ready for lol

anon , Honza Soukup Report

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Kookamunga
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, one of my sisters had four kids and she bitched all the time about them. You would've thought the government allocated the kids to her. You had choices, suck it up!

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Freya the Wanderer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people really shouldn't have any children in the first place. But how do you enforce that?

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Pamela Blue
Community Member
1 year ago

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Don't worry. It's coming, and it will be coming for you...

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Celeste Grant
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seeing so much poor parenting, seeing kids neglected and abused hurts me so much as I can't have kids. It's hard not to think that there are people having kids without thinking about it who either don't want them or shouldn't have them and yet I tried everything and still couldn't be a mum.

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similarly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait, what? You mean some people were ready for their children? Oh, believe me, I THOUGHT I was ready ... I wasn't. lmao. My kids are adults now and I'm STILL not ready for them.

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Marc Lauzon
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have 4 kids and are generally well-behaved, I wish they'd clean behind them more often. That goes with their personalities (and their mom's DNA apparently, some study about DNA induced behavior I recently spotted on FB). I may not be able to handle someone else's 4 misbehaving kids. So, I'm more careful about this. There's always a lot of life stories behind that and it is a bit unfair to judge them on the few minutes to hours you see them. I do judge those who let their kid screams regardless where they are, even in a park. You can have fun and loud without trying to shatter glass.

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Huddo's sister
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not everyone knows how hard it is going to be until they have kids. Having more than one more than doubles the work.

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Lkmarr
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Especially hits hard when you can’t have kids and then there are those who have so many they fail to take good care of any of them.

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Pizzagirl 91
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We've got twins, and I feel like I've got the best of two worlds: people who chose to have "a" child and people who didn't have a choice with having "children". Like, it's not my fault for not having as much money per child as I'd planned, BUT I'm fully invested in being a mother, sooo... No RAGREZ!

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Vladimíra Matejová
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

having many children and then cry they dont have money to feed them. not talking about poor countries where there is no contraception. but in 1st world countries? plan ahead! have only so many you can handle

lisadonohue_1 avatar
Say What
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How? Name even 1 form of BC that has 100% efficacy. You can't because there isn't one.

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Squirrelly Panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One is easier to forgive. Obviously made at least 1 dumb decision. More kids when not ready, learn from your mistakes already!

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Paul Beebe
Community Member
1 year ago

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'Specially when birthcontrol is pretty much free. If you can't remember to take a pill every morning or make the dude wear a condom, keep your pants on...

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MandiMay
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So it's the women's responsibility I see? Men have nothing to do with it?

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Cammy Cat
Community Member
1 year ago

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And they all have different dads that's aren't in the picture anymore

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#14

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It The only time I feel I judge people like this is when I'm driving. Speed up, pay attention to the road, use your signals, and don't be an idiot. It's not that hard.

Wizard_Elon_3003 , Dmitry Kolesnikov Report

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Kookamunga
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Put your gd phone down. Don't tailgate. Get out of the fast lane, slowpoke. Let other people get in during a merge.

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#15

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It People who act victimized when in reality they’ve never been a victim of anything in their lives.

May or may not have some family members that do this and it drives me f*****g insane

IrishWithoutPotatoes , Carmelo Peciña Report

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JMil
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And the opposite is true. I admire people that don't let adversity or disadvantages get in their way.

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#16

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It When a parent gives a child a "unique" name that's obviously not specific to their culture, but a mispelled or made up name like "Spenser" or "Alivia" or "Mayson".

dishonourableaccount , Valentina Powers Report

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#17

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It Parents swearing at their kids in public

NeverTheFirst , Conall Report

#18

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It littering, chewing with their mouth open, drunkenly touching people.

f11tn88ss , ebrkut Report

#19

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It I understand being in a toxic or s**tty relationship and that some people can't leave. I understand that. But I've met some girls who are balls deep obsessed with their s***ty a*s boyfriends and think that they can change them or think they're in love when the guys an a*****e and a bum. My neighbor for example cares more about her druggy boyfriend than her own child. Stuff like that I will judge you for.

Punkstarbabe , Vincent Diamante Report

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Laika-Mutton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think there are some cases, but a co-worker in a very abusive relationship had been brainwashed to think it was her fault. She refused to hear any criticism of her spouse. I ended up giving her a book on self-esteem, nothing derogatory about abusive SOs'. Ran into her months later in another job, free of that POS. She told me she'd read the book in the bathroom (hiding) and slowly realized she was worth more than him. I was thrilled for her. I'll never forget that.

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#20

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It When I hear people s**t talking someone due to their appearance/ clothes. So f*****g shallow but its not worth calling people like that out.

KiataTheWarrior , allispossible.org.uk Report

#21

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It Kinda niche but...

I silently judge people who do extremely hard hikes/dangerous hikes woefully unprepared or wearing sandals/sneakers/inappropriate footwear.

I live in Colorado and too often we get headlines related to these kinds of people. There is no excuse with all the resources available to research the hike you're doing. Ultimately, S&R is going to have to use THEIR resources to save your a*s from something that was of your own doing. But I judge silently because I believe that sometimes, you do need to learn the hard way.

kaliahi , Adam Bautz Report

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foofoofloofy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Last spring, a mother & daughter went hiking on a local trail at 5 PM. Guess what? They ended up stranded at the top of a mountain in pitch darkness and below-freezing temperatures. Research the trail before you hike it, people!

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#22

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It Being s**t parents.

DA-ZACHYZACHY , thechosenrebel Report

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StrangeOne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like some parents have bad days, slip up, make mistakes or perhaps got some bad/skewed advice. It's the ones that aren't even trying that I smdh at.

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#23

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It Gossiping, like people who only gossip. Because you know that if they gossip to you about everyone else theyre gossiping about you to other people too.

kannakamui1041 , Seika Report

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Cecily Holland
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In-laws gossiped about my dying mother speculating whether it was cancer or AIDS. All over Facebook. And they wonder why I don’t talk to them

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#25

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It If they're disagreeable and never grateful for anything or anyone.

Back2Bach , Ricardo Moraleida Report

#26

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It When people type “loose” instead of “lose”

angusshangus , Denise Krebs Report

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$cagsy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know exactly how you feel and I felt exactly the same. Until one particularly wise panda suggested that there may be an alternative reason than pure ignorance. Perhaps the person writes English as a second language, or maybe they have trouble with words, maybe even dyslexia. I thought that was a good point and these days I just let those mistakes pass and give the author the benefit of the doubt. After all, they are contributing to the discussion and I would hate to scare someone off because of less than perfect English.

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#28

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It Parents who's kids have pacifiers while being 4 years and older

Pr0f4n17y , Timothy Krause Report

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LaurA Struthers
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to feel this 100% but have come to realise, a lot of children with developmental issues or on autism spectrum, need these as soothing aids and a lot of them take a lot longer to give up these items

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#29

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It Adding a manager to an email just to play power games.

Ambitious_End5038 , Kai Hendry Report

#30

30 Behaviors That People In This Online Group Find Hard To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It when im at work, on register and someone handing me crumpled up bills, like really you couldnt straighten this out?

artsyraccoon , frankieleon Report

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StrangeOne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As long as they're not pulling them out of body crevices and don't stink, then who cares if they're straightened or crumpled.

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