261Kviews
Kids Are Creating Memes About Their Insane Parents And Here Are 30 Of The Best Ones Interview
261Kviews
Arguing with parents is the only battle you can never win. Every time it seems you’re just a step away from winning, there’s a bonus card being thrown your way. “You’re still a kid” works even if you’re already a parent yourself.
Luckily, there’s a subreddit dedicated to capturing all the messed-up drift we got from our parents. R/insaneparents is a safe space to talk about hard things in memes. Lucky enough to have a woo-woo anti-vax mom? They get you. Dad insisting COVID-19 is caused by 5G? Been there, heard that. All these shenanigans get a well-deserved meme fix, and Bored Panda has selected the best ones down below. Don't forget to upvote your faves and share what you think in the comments!
This post may include affiliate links.
Others Have It Worse Than Many Of Us
I Feel Like This Applies A Lot For The Parents On Here
Insane Parents Inadvertently Teaching Skills
Bored Panda contacted redditor u/Mynameisethan182, who’s the moderator of r/insaneparents, to find out more about their community, which has a whopping 984K readers.
It turns out, r/insaneparents is far more than just the memes. “The community started off as a joke and it grew over time into a weird, chaotic place for people to talk about their real issues and hopefully raise awareness about them.” Kids today deal with their issues with memes and jokes, and they have “a much darker sense of humor than I had when growing up,” said u/Mynameisethan182.
R/insaneparents looks for memes that have a story to tell and take effort to make. Most importantly, other Reddit users have to relate to it. “No one wants to see memes about your mom taking your Xbox away—they don't care about that,” explained the moderator. “They want to know others out there are going through the same traumas as them and they find solace in that.”
On average, r/insaneparents pulls 900K page views per day with 350K unique viewers. It adds up to a total of 15-20 million page views per month. But u/Mynameisethan182 assures me it’s not about the view count: “We're a decently-sized community and just want to help people.”
A Meme About How My Parents Treat Me
This was the question I got from my family. "Why don't you ever come over for the holidays?" Because I don't care to travel almost 2 hours to have a quick meal that eventually deteriorates into a full scale screaming match. When I went to college, I was encouraged by a friend to cut out the negative influences in my life. My family is extremely negative. Out of my parents, my 3 siblings and my cousins...the only one I have time for is my sister...and only because we've supported each other so much through the years. Just because they are related to you by blood does not mean you should obligate yourself to their abuse. The way to rise up is to shed the weights that are holding you down. Who knows..you may encourage them to take a turn towards change.
We’ve all been in a situation where it seems that no matter what you tell your parents, they’ll always have their own way of doing things. It's not uncommon for kids and parents to argue over most things. But if it’s happening way too often and leaving a negative impact on your life, self-esteem, and relationships with others, you should get worried.
According to Psychology Today, you should ask yourself a couple of questions in order to find out whether your relationship with parents is unhealthy. “Do they try to control you? Do they manipulate, use guilt, or play the victim? Do they disregard your feelings and needs?” If the answer is positive, it may be a sign you’re living with toxic parents.
Just A Little Meme For You Guys
Let me fix this. My mother is a horrible person. She treats everyone like crap. Screams at everyone. Has the mouth of a drunken sailor and will steal the shirt off your back when you're not looking. That being said, I still love her...I just hate the things she does. I know she was dealt a crappy hand in life, but that doesn't excuse her behavior. I know she has mental issues that she doesn't want to get help for and that's her choice. But it doesn't mean I make myself open to her abuses and her behavior. I can worry about her and would be devastated if something happened to her. But I won't feed into her problems by opening myself up to her abuse.
How I've Been Feeling These Past Many Months. Maybe Not Stressed Y'know But Still
Why is this so true? Honestly I'd show this to my parents but then I'd get a "Well you DO have it easy."
Darlene Lancer, a certified hypnotherapist, suggests detaching from toxic parents. “It means not reacting, not taking things personally, and not feeling responsible for someone else’s feelings, wants, and needs. Our parents can easily push our buttons.” In fact, it has nothing to do with physical distance. You can still be close to your parents, but not taking in the things they say.
Remember that having a healthy and pleasant relationship always starts with your feelings and attitudes. “Sometimes working on yourself is all it takes. That doesn’t imply that your parents will change, but you will,” Darlene claims. And that means that sometimes forgiveness is necessary to keep on moving together and building a connection.
Still Bitter...
Meme Monday Has Arrived
My husband looks at the floor anytime we have an argument. I kept thinking that he was just ignoring me. It would make me more furious. Then when I spent quite a bit of time with his mother, I realized she was the queen of lectures. Then I understood who had conditioned him to look at the floor. I approach arguments differently now..trying not to lecture but, instead, engaging him to express his thoughts. We've been able to overcome much more stress in our relationship because we both have a voice.
Finally
This just reminds me of that weird movie where this guy kidnaps a kid and winds up taking him Trick or Treating while he robs people because his Mom wouldn't let him trick or treat. Its called A Perfect World. Pretty interesting movie actually.
Yeah...
Happened To Me Once
Not Saying Anything Is Sometimes Worse Though
My son got into a fight at school. I was told he started it. I was furious because he knew that I didn't approve of fighting. Then I get to the school and was told that he attacked another kid in the hallway next to the school door to his classroom. After talking to witnesses, I find out that the boy in question had decided to call my son all sorts of nasty names (my son is autistic) including "stupid" and "retard" because my son was holding the outside door open in ice cold weather so the bus driver could help a student in a wheelchair enter the building, also letting cold air in. The school explained that my son would receive a day in-school suspension, but that the other kid was being suspended for 3 days. I sat down and explained to him how to handle it differently next time and I explained the reason he was suspended for a day was because he took it to the next level of physical attack instead of getting an adult involved to make the kid stop.
(: Fun
Never tell your kids you had it worse. It's like telling them "I suffered more so you just need to suck it up!" Just listen to them.
Insaneparents When They Expect Children They Abuse To Love Them Unconditionally Be Like:
This is true. When I was younger my mum hit me and pinched me and whatnot. Now, I stay in my room, and she tells me off when I "isolate" myself. I firmly believe she only stopped abusing me because we learnt about childline in school and I came home telling her all about it.
Gotta Save Every Last Penny
I wish I could do that... the problem is, my parents have to know EVERYTHING that I do. I swear, it feels like they are stalking me sometimes...
My Parents To A Tee
My mom saw an e-girl and told me to look away and called them strippers.
The Taste
If you're kids are making a valid argument, don't shut them down. Discuss it. Admit Defeat. If you shut them down every time they are winning an argument, you teach them never to fight for what they believe in. You make them shy about asking for help. You make them afraid of authority. That opens the door for them being taken advantage of and it creates problems with confidence. If you are a mature adult..it's ok to admit that a teenager is making a valid point. It's not disrespectful to stand up for what you believe in as long as you keep the conversation civilized.
It's That Damn Radiation!
This is the same BS logic that caused anti-vaxxers to believe that vaccines cause autism. Autism is a genetic malady..not caused by heavy metals in vaccines (which, btw, have already been removed.)
Guys What Do I Do. I Creted This Meme So She Wouldn't Understand This
Rent
my mother always guilted me into giving her my money. then I started lying and saying I didn't have any to give just so I could survive. we haven't spoken in over a decade now.
Note: this post originally had 73 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
Wow, this makes me sad.
It also makes me realize, sadly, that I am completely not alone in my experience :(
It's equally appalling and comforting: thank god we're not alone (or crazy), but dear god I wish this never had to happen to anyone else if I could stop it
No, you are not alone 🥰
❤😔
The exact details may vary, but there are similarities. Sometimes the only way to save your sanity / health is to cut people out of your life.
True.
had an eating disorder lost a bunch of weight ended up in hospital , i was told by both parents and drs that it was attention seeking or i was on drugs, lol thanks, my sister only has to have a sniffle and its off to A an E. One time she had wind and they took her to emergency room. I fell down the stairs and fractured my ankle and they said its just a sprain and left it. now my ankle is messed up lol
I hear you. I had a severe reaction to medication once, which made my muscles contract randomly; my eyes rolled back and my arms were bent at the elbow and wouldn't release. my mother told me to stop acting, and belted me. She put me to bed, and slapped me again when I couldn't lie down because my abs were contracted. Eventually, after hours of this, she realised I needed a hospital. It's hard to forgive that one, I was only 5 or 6 yrs old.
In most of the united states, hitting a child with anything other than a bare hand is considered child abuse. Don't go silent
im sorry you had to go through all of that. i hope youre okay now
Same thing -- every time I'm sick, I'm 'over-reacting' or 'doing it for attention' or 'I need to toughen up'. It gives me a lot of dysmorphia. I even tried to kill myself a few times. Parents never visited and still hold the hospital bills against me (even though they didn't pay them...I did). I'm SO sorry your parents do this to you too. :(
Your parents sound like real pieces of work. I can't see how any parent would hold their suicidal child's hospital bills over them.
@deanna yeah, it's taken me a while but I've come to peace with the face that they are imperfect, and it's up to me to heal the hurt (NOT them - holding them to that standard would just lead to disappointment, and I need to be able to be 100% autonomous). :(
The therapist at the hospital I went to at twelve after attempting suicide told me I was faking "for attention"
That "therapist" must have been faking it as a therapist.
@lesBEEan I am so sorry and am outraged for you -- 12yrs old??? DISGUSTING BEHAVIOR. That being said, I am LIVING for your username!!!
That "therapist" shouldn't be working in that field. Way to make someone feel even worse. I hope you've been able to work through everything with someone more compassionate and qualified.
Love and hugs to you. You are awesome
I am so sorry that your parents treated you like this. You didn't deserve to be neglected like this.
I expected a rather funny post but it really got me. So much abuse. My love to all here who suffered. Please help all to protect children as much as we can.
I just want to give a hug to the majority of the people who posted these. I am so sorry you haven't been treated with love and respect from your family, you are worthy of love and deserve more than that.
Thank You. I needed that
Yup. Seems about right. My parents have never trusted me, don’t respect my opinion even when I have a valid argument because they’re the adults, called me trashy and attention seeking when I developed and eating disorder and attempted suicide because I hate myself so much, told me I was faking my anxiety and depression which lead to the former items on the list, just generally don’t love me, etc. I can’t wait to move out.
I am so sorry. I hope you are able to get the support and care you need. You are worthwhile - don't let your parents opinion of you be your opinion of you. Take care - we Bored Pandas care about YOU.
EDIT: Before two years ago, I was a perfect child, no problems straight A’s, everything. I still have the good grades but as soon as I started having mental health issues my parents stopped caring about me. I am no longer a perfect trophy for them to show off and brag about.
I don't need to know what happened two years ago. What happened is yours to hold and share as you wish. Just please keep trying to move forward, an dlook to the day you can be gone. THat got me through five reallly bad long years. Not easy, but it's do-able. YOu can do it.
Please seek for help. I know it's not an easy thing to do. The sooner the better.
You are not some prize for them to show off, you are their child and they should love you no matter what. Like Alex Bailey said, all of us bored pandas love you.
Same boat. I'm so sorry :( the best thing I've learned about myself, in case it helps you too: Whether it's family, friends, bosses, etc -- if they exacerbate your anxiety/depression rather than help it, build healthy boundaries for yourself and be willing to lose those connections if you have to. Keep yourself safe at all costs. Sending you love and strength~~
Lots of love to you. You are amazing
Having a mom who says that you have to "sleep" in the same bed with someone because men will not wait. I'm dating that guy for a month and she knows my trauma's. That she dives in bed with a lot men is her thing, but I'm not like that. A mom who wants to be your friend isn't that great either.
Hahahaha amateurs!! My mom literally drop things so we (sister and i) have to bow to her feet when we pick the things up. One day she even say to me (we were on H&M by the way and some other people listen to her shit) "good! There's were you belong"
My dad had us bathe his feet. We were also trained to respond to commands given to us that were the same given to our *dogs*.... Except dogs didn't have to fill his glass or light his cigarette. I feel ya.
I don't understand why 'strict' is equaled to abusive. I could see a parent being strict on things (no tv or games until homework is done, eating at the table with the family, cleaning your room) is good. It doesn't mean the child doesn't have love and freedom, just that they have structure. Most of the examples here are shilling, though.
they say strict when they mean "abusive" i used to call my mother strict and she tried to stab me with a knife when i was 12 because i asked her a question.
I would like to say she is insane, but that's giving a bad person an excuse they don't deserve. But I think we should use the correct words to describe things and behaviour to stop disguising them. Abusive is abusive, no excuse or reason.
Yeah the kids just don't know the difference because they never had anything better :(
Because an abusive parent won't describe themselves as "abusive" - they'll just say they are "strict".
I was thinking of the child's point of view. I didn't realise that it could come from the abuser's vocabulary. Good point.
Let me ask you this: Dad's iced tea didn't have enough ice for him. He threw the bringer of iced tea into a wall. For disobedience. Strict or abusive?
Abusive
Abusive. Violence is not an educational tool.
@Laugh or not.... and yet, he'd have said he was strict.
1000% abusive.
I think a bunch of things get labeled "strict" that should really not be in the same category. My parents were/are very loving, but I was constantly under rigid control as a kid. My mom took my door off the hinges as a teenager because she was convinced I was doing drugs. My bedtime was 7 pm until I was in High School. I wasn't allowed to watch movies or TV except as a special treat, and nothing over G unless my parents watched it first for "suitability." I don't consider this abusive, and they did it out of love but it really messed with me. My first relationship was with a controlling and abusive person because I thought that behavior was normal. Now I have a huge problem with any percieved attempt to control me, but this means issues with authority figures, resentment of rules, fear of failure, and a refusal to ask for or accept help to preserve my autonomy and validate my "worth." My parenting style is "don't do the thing, but I'll give you plenty of rope to hang from."
Strict is... don't break the rules. Abusive is... "I feel bad so you have to feel worse". I think good intentions run amok, however, and even parents who try (maybe too hard!) to "guard their kids from bad things" end up causing damage. I say that b/c my one in-law parented their kids the same way ----- with distrust and so much sheltering that their kids could not handle a school trip to the local museum. Yep. A museum trip. Had them in screaming hysterics and panic at "all the bad scary stuff". (Wasn't even dinosaurs.) The school counselor made some calls, fortunately, and things moothed out but... Yeah. Good intentions can go wrong, too. At least yours had good motives. My dad was basically batsh*t crazy when he was sober. We prayed he'd drink....
Also, I'm really sorry about your dad. I've ended up a foster parent (you KNOW things are bad when I'm the better choice!) and one of my kids used to always ask if I was drunk any time he saw me having a beer or a glass of wine. I get hung over REALLY easily, so I haven't been drunk for years. It took him six months of watching me have the occasional drink to believe that I wasn't going to turn out to be an alcoholic. I hope you've found the answers you need to heal from the trauma you experienced, and for some of us that's always going to be a journey more than a destination. Be well.
I really don't have anger at my parents, I had undiagnosed bipolar and they had no idea why I was the way I was. My partner's step-mother was actually abusive to them, but they have even managed to forgive her (while still being angry about the abuse) because she had a mental illness that wasn't diagnosed or treated at the time. Parents all make mistakes, and I don't know that I would have handled me any better. That was actually why I never had biological kids, but ended up with my partner's child, and then foster kids, and then THOSE kids friends who had fucked up families. I just hope I can help these kids in my life get a little further and be a little (or a lot) better than me.
It WAS abusive. Your parents abused you. Start from there, acknowledge it, and stop renting those people space in your head.
I can't consider it abuse because my bar for abuse is that it is done out of a desire to dominate. My parents were in over their heads with me; I was born in '84 and was bipolar... which wasn't diagnosed until last year (and only after I had a breakdown and was escorted to the loony bin by a concerned cop...who had gotten a call from someone because of my erratic behavior. I was having a total breakdown in my car while parked). My mania tends to express itself in rage... my mom did a lot of work trying to teach me to handle my emotions and I credit her for not going to the hospital sooner. They made honest mistakes because no-one knew what was going on with me. Buuuuuuut... a lot of my restrictions were religious in nature, and a lot of the time my needs weren't understood. I give them a pass and they've let me be an adult, even if I'm not good at it.
I just wanna take this opportunity to thank my parents for being good ones, for not treating me like a piece of s*** and being there for me. Every family has their flaws, so does mine, but reading this I see them as minor things.
This is a very sad and relatable thing for me. I've had a mentally abusive stepdad since I was 4. He always causes me of being manipulative and always having an "alternative plan". I am a sensitive person so I kind of feel sad for him because I can see that he wants to spend more time with me, but it is hard for me to do that when every time we talk he starts a meaningless argument. He constantly tries to turn my own mom against me with his reasonings also. He is also very judgmental. He claims that gay people are the same as pedophiles, which is RIDICULOUS.
Anyone who things that pedos have a place in the LGBTQ community needs to fuck right off. NO WAY, NOT NOW, NOT EVER.
Mom: yells at me for not straightening hair Me: starts to straighten hair Mom: yells at me for straightening hair Mom: yells at me Bc I didn’t listen to her Me: gets in trouble Bc i am apparently entitled and rude just bc I exist
You know how a lot of people always say how kids these days are so bad? Wonder where they got it from..... (also kids these days aren't all bad)
some of these are relatable like the door one. My mom thinks that just because other people are parenting their kids that way she should too. Even in movies and TV shows!
mom: Your brother is a boy, he can do anything. Also mom: You girls can't go out, can't do sports, can't ... can't ... can't ...
Ugh the sad thing is a lot of these parents also had abusive parents, just no resources to help them realize it wasn't normal/healthy. A lose lose for everyone. (That said some people are just evil for no reason too, I understand)
It's not an excuse in my opinion. My mother had a crappy childhood, I'll admit that. So did I, a lot of stories I have make your hair stand on end. I chose not to do that to my children. Not because
damn, pressed send too early lol Anyway, not because I had resources to help, but because I choose to parent with love, not fear. My mother also had that choice. I'm not perfect by any stretch, but my kids now they're loved, know their boundaries, and can talk to me about anything. I still can't do that with my mother.
I agree. It isn't as if they enjoyed what was done to them. Did they never read a book or see tv with examples of what parenting can look like. The lives of other families? You don't have to replicate a crappy childhood at all. It seems more like revenge of some kind to me. There are many people who choose to parent differently, kindly.
Not an excuse. My wife had a horrendously abusive childhood. Now that we have a child, she's determined to do exactly the opposite of what was done to her. She's a great mom.
Been there... got the t-shirt unfortunately. I m glad i m living in a different country now!
Well...this was heartbreaking. :( So sorry for all the guys out there creating those memes or suffering similar behaviour. Parents aren't always right, sometimes they're terrible abusive people from which you should get away as soon as you can and never look back. I hope all those who have to make such a decision find some great friends that make up for the good for nothing families. <3
My mum whenever she's angry says what do you have to say for yourself then i say im sorry and she says no your not. Im like WTF
Oh my god this is so sad. I was somehow expecting a fun and relatable post — but turns out, my family is a pure blessing compared to what some people had to live. I'm so sad for you, peoples. [big comforting hug]
This whole article makes me depressed
*when you already don't like your at home situation and then you read this expecting laughs and end up just getting angrier because you think of what your parents already do that you REALLY don't agree with because it's "to protect you", and then think of all the people that read this post and cried or something because THEY relate too and now you're mad at all parents because no one should make their kids feel this way, and no one should have to feel this way and relate to these so well*
When I was young, I went through some pretty traumatic stuff involving my disabled sister who was a lot older than me (no, it wasn't sexual, and it wasn't entirely her fault as her brain didn't function right). The event left me with terrible PTSD when I was just 10 years old, and I hated my sister at the time. My mother treated me like I had no reason to be as resentful and upset as I was, and acted like I was supposed to just get over it when my sister came home a few months later and apologized to me. A couple of years later, my sister passed away unexpectedly and it hit my family hard--I was still dealing with untreated PTSD when it happened, and because my reaction didn't please my mother, when we got home, she slapped me and made sure to tell me what a stupid little b***h I was for not getting over it. Almost 20 years later, she wonders why I don't talk to her about my feelings.
I suddenly have the urgent need to give my children a long hug. This article has left me once again very sad. It's shameful under what circumstances some children have to grow up. Parents often enough pass on what they have experienced in their own parental home. But that is simply no excuse. I myself grew up in a broken home, but I would never treat my own children in this way. Precisely because I know it differently. Some parents have no idea what they are doing to their children. Unfortunately, in the end there is the realization that there are people who simply should not have children. Not everyone is capable of raising children. I say that neutrally. It is simply a fact. These children then have to suffer from it.
As a single mother of 3 and 5 years old boys, one of my biggest fears is to be a abusive parent and don't even realize it or thinking that is normal or okay, until is too late and damage my kids. I'm against hit a child because I was hit a lot as a child, but I do scream a bit. (or maybe a lot, on my kids point of view.)? I really don't know. 😢
I'm no parent (in fact I'm a kid myself), but maybe try this trick I found on Tumblr? Basically this girl's mom always asked her 'can I hear that in polite-personese?' whenever she threw a tantrum or did something wrong. And the kid was made to say her exact intentions, so the mom knew exactly why the kid did what she did and could tell between a kid doing something wrong and a kid just trying to communicate. But lots of love to you, being a single mother of two toddlers must be hellfire and just know that you're awesome
Thanks for the tip and the compliment. I will start working on this technique.
i have wonderful parents
My mom during an argument with me: If I raised a dog it would be wagging it's tail at me in order to get food, why should I feed you if you don't follow what I said?
this reminds me of my childhood
All true about my mum except any hitting, with her it's always mental abuse. Always talks about negative things and is always complaining. I'm the only one she talks to about it so that's all she thinks she has to talk about. I don't want to hear about the news, mum tells me about it anyway. Trying to improve my thoughts, complains about work. Says I'm tired, she works full time so I'm not allowed to be. Don't have a boyfriend and barely have friend, obviously thinks I'm gay. She has also blamed me on her being single and smoking. If I'm upset at anything she'll find a dumb reason to say it's my fault such as not sleeping at night aka at a proper time or completely ignore me because obviously she has it so much harder. I have depression, anxiety and PTSD that needs proper professional help but she won't help me get it.
These are all too relatable. :(
Lol my entire childhood plus now.
My mom:Do you need help joy me:yes My Mom: WHATS THE SQUARE ROOT OF 123 Me:We didnt learn that My mOm: ITS SO SIMPLE IF YOU WERENT GONNA GET HELD BACK me:*cries* my mom: STOP CRYING BEFORE I GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY FOR me:*cries* My mom: STOP FAKING TO GET OUT OF IT my Mom: you know what im over it im gonna do what I want I could be at a jill scott concert but I spend all my money on you but it's fine fail and get held back if you want do whatever you want.
I was a chubby kid & my Grandmother (Mom's mom) was always incredibly cruel to me. I thought she just hated me for being fat - she actually hated me because I realized what a cruel & nasty bitch she was and wouldn't put up with it. Flash forward 20 years and we all met for my uncle's wedding. I was in the best shape of my life and looked amazing. She tried to teach my 3 year old daughter to call her "Aunt June", but I quickly instructed my daughter to correctly call her "Great Grandmother June". My children (12 year old son as well) were well groomed, polite and well behaved. I was no longer "our little fat girl" so she basically didn't have anything to chide/insult me, and didn't really speak to me the whole day. Fucking win/win! For the life of me, I will never understand how she managed to raise my kind, thoughtful & generous mother. I actually sang "Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead" when told of her passing. She was one of the most awful, hateful people I have ever known.
It's a sad comment on parenting that I got too late in life. Ive lost my son to what I thought was good parenting.
Reading this post was kind of I think a bitter sweet moment for a lot of us. At least we aren't alone in our struggles and pain, but at the same time... No one should have to feel like this. It's the moment I WISH I was alone, because I don't want so many people to have felt this horrible, disgusting feeling.
These were really hard for me. Not because I went through any of this but because they made me think of all of the people who either are or have gone through this. Being a parent is a privilege and you shouldn't leave your child with emotional, psychological, or physical scars. If you don't think you can have control over yourself enough to be a parent then don't become a parent.
Why are these all so true
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Some of these are valid but most are one sided versions.
Because it is a post from the view of people with toxic parents FFS. How can you miss that simple premise. If you think controlling is good parenting you are wrong. It is weak. If you parent through fear, you are weak.
I would love to hear some of the other side's argument, if you have time
Wow, this makes me sad.
It also makes me realize, sadly, that I am completely not alone in my experience :(
It's equally appalling and comforting: thank god we're not alone (or crazy), but dear god I wish this never had to happen to anyone else if I could stop it
No, you are not alone 🥰
❤😔
The exact details may vary, but there are similarities. Sometimes the only way to save your sanity / health is to cut people out of your life.
True.
had an eating disorder lost a bunch of weight ended up in hospital , i was told by both parents and drs that it was attention seeking or i was on drugs, lol thanks, my sister only has to have a sniffle and its off to A an E. One time she had wind and they took her to emergency room. I fell down the stairs and fractured my ankle and they said its just a sprain and left it. now my ankle is messed up lol
I hear you. I had a severe reaction to medication once, which made my muscles contract randomly; my eyes rolled back and my arms were bent at the elbow and wouldn't release. my mother told me to stop acting, and belted me. She put me to bed, and slapped me again when I couldn't lie down because my abs were contracted. Eventually, after hours of this, she realised I needed a hospital. It's hard to forgive that one, I was only 5 or 6 yrs old.
In most of the united states, hitting a child with anything other than a bare hand is considered child abuse. Don't go silent
im sorry you had to go through all of that. i hope youre okay now
Same thing -- every time I'm sick, I'm 'over-reacting' or 'doing it for attention' or 'I need to toughen up'. It gives me a lot of dysmorphia. I even tried to kill myself a few times. Parents never visited and still hold the hospital bills against me (even though they didn't pay them...I did). I'm SO sorry your parents do this to you too. :(
Your parents sound like real pieces of work. I can't see how any parent would hold their suicidal child's hospital bills over them.
@deanna yeah, it's taken me a while but I've come to peace with the face that they are imperfect, and it's up to me to heal the hurt (NOT them - holding them to that standard would just lead to disappointment, and I need to be able to be 100% autonomous). :(
The therapist at the hospital I went to at twelve after attempting suicide told me I was faking "for attention"
That "therapist" must have been faking it as a therapist.
@lesBEEan I am so sorry and am outraged for you -- 12yrs old??? DISGUSTING BEHAVIOR. That being said, I am LIVING for your username!!!
That "therapist" shouldn't be working in that field. Way to make someone feel even worse. I hope you've been able to work through everything with someone more compassionate and qualified.
Love and hugs to you. You are awesome
I am so sorry that your parents treated you like this. You didn't deserve to be neglected like this.
I expected a rather funny post but it really got me. So much abuse. My love to all here who suffered. Please help all to protect children as much as we can.
I just want to give a hug to the majority of the people who posted these. I am so sorry you haven't been treated with love and respect from your family, you are worthy of love and deserve more than that.
Thank You. I needed that
Yup. Seems about right. My parents have never trusted me, don’t respect my opinion even when I have a valid argument because they’re the adults, called me trashy and attention seeking when I developed and eating disorder and attempted suicide because I hate myself so much, told me I was faking my anxiety and depression which lead to the former items on the list, just generally don’t love me, etc. I can’t wait to move out.
I am so sorry. I hope you are able to get the support and care you need. You are worthwhile - don't let your parents opinion of you be your opinion of you. Take care - we Bored Pandas care about YOU.
EDIT: Before two years ago, I was a perfect child, no problems straight A’s, everything. I still have the good grades but as soon as I started having mental health issues my parents stopped caring about me. I am no longer a perfect trophy for them to show off and brag about.
I don't need to know what happened two years ago. What happened is yours to hold and share as you wish. Just please keep trying to move forward, an dlook to the day you can be gone. THat got me through five reallly bad long years. Not easy, but it's do-able. YOu can do it.
Please seek for help. I know it's not an easy thing to do. The sooner the better.
You are not some prize for them to show off, you are their child and they should love you no matter what. Like Alex Bailey said, all of us bored pandas love you.
Same boat. I'm so sorry :( the best thing I've learned about myself, in case it helps you too: Whether it's family, friends, bosses, etc -- if they exacerbate your anxiety/depression rather than help it, build healthy boundaries for yourself and be willing to lose those connections if you have to. Keep yourself safe at all costs. Sending you love and strength~~
Lots of love to you. You are amazing
Having a mom who says that you have to "sleep" in the same bed with someone because men will not wait. I'm dating that guy for a month and she knows my trauma's. That she dives in bed with a lot men is her thing, but I'm not like that. A mom who wants to be your friend isn't that great either.
Hahahaha amateurs!! My mom literally drop things so we (sister and i) have to bow to her feet when we pick the things up. One day she even say to me (we were on H&M by the way and some other people listen to her shit) "good! There's were you belong"
My dad had us bathe his feet. We were also trained to respond to commands given to us that were the same given to our *dogs*.... Except dogs didn't have to fill his glass or light his cigarette. I feel ya.
I don't understand why 'strict' is equaled to abusive. I could see a parent being strict on things (no tv or games until homework is done, eating at the table with the family, cleaning your room) is good. It doesn't mean the child doesn't have love and freedom, just that they have structure. Most of the examples here are shilling, though.
they say strict when they mean "abusive" i used to call my mother strict and she tried to stab me with a knife when i was 12 because i asked her a question.
I would like to say she is insane, but that's giving a bad person an excuse they don't deserve. But I think we should use the correct words to describe things and behaviour to stop disguising them. Abusive is abusive, no excuse or reason.
Yeah the kids just don't know the difference because they never had anything better :(
Because an abusive parent won't describe themselves as "abusive" - they'll just say they are "strict".
I was thinking of the child's point of view. I didn't realise that it could come from the abuser's vocabulary. Good point.
Let me ask you this: Dad's iced tea didn't have enough ice for him. He threw the bringer of iced tea into a wall. For disobedience. Strict or abusive?
Abusive
Abusive. Violence is not an educational tool.
@Laugh or not.... and yet, he'd have said he was strict.
1000% abusive.
I think a bunch of things get labeled "strict" that should really not be in the same category. My parents were/are very loving, but I was constantly under rigid control as a kid. My mom took my door off the hinges as a teenager because she was convinced I was doing drugs. My bedtime was 7 pm until I was in High School. I wasn't allowed to watch movies or TV except as a special treat, and nothing over G unless my parents watched it first for "suitability." I don't consider this abusive, and they did it out of love but it really messed with me. My first relationship was with a controlling and abusive person because I thought that behavior was normal. Now I have a huge problem with any percieved attempt to control me, but this means issues with authority figures, resentment of rules, fear of failure, and a refusal to ask for or accept help to preserve my autonomy and validate my "worth." My parenting style is "don't do the thing, but I'll give you plenty of rope to hang from."
Strict is... don't break the rules. Abusive is... "I feel bad so you have to feel worse". I think good intentions run amok, however, and even parents who try (maybe too hard!) to "guard their kids from bad things" end up causing damage. I say that b/c my one in-law parented their kids the same way ----- with distrust and so much sheltering that their kids could not handle a school trip to the local museum. Yep. A museum trip. Had them in screaming hysterics and panic at "all the bad scary stuff". (Wasn't even dinosaurs.) The school counselor made some calls, fortunately, and things moothed out but... Yeah. Good intentions can go wrong, too. At least yours had good motives. My dad was basically batsh*t crazy when he was sober. We prayed he'd drink....
Also, I'm really sorry about your dad. I've ended up a foster parent (you KNOW things are bad when I'm the better choice!) and one of my kids used to always ask if I was drunk any time he saw me having a beer or a glass of wine. I get hung over REALLY easily, so I haven't been drunk for years. It took him six months of watching me have the occasional drink to believe that I wasn't going to turn out to be an alcoholic. I hope you've found the answers you need to heal from the trauma you experienced, and for some of us that's always going to be a journey more than a destination. Be well.
I really don't have anger at my parents, I had undiagnosed bipolar and they had no idea why I was the way I was. My partner's step-mother was actually abusive to them, but they have even managed to forgive her (while still being angry about the abuse) because she had a mental illness that wasn't diagnosed or treated at the time. Parents all make mistakes, and I don't know that I would have handled me any better. That was actually why I never had biological kids, but ended up with my partner's child, and then foster kids, and then THOSE kids friends who had fucked up families. I just hope I can help these kids in my life get a little further and be a little (or a lot) better than me.
It WAS abusive. Your parents abused you. Start from there, acknowledge it, and stop renting those people space in your head.
I can't consider it abuse because my bar for abuse is that it is done out of a desire to dominate. My parents were in over their heads with me; I was born in '84 and was bipolar... which wasn't diagnosed until last year (and only after I had a breakdown and was escorted to the loony bin by a concerned cop...who had gotten a call from someone because of my erratic behavior. I was having a total breakdown in my car while parked). My mania tends to express itself in rage... my mom did a lot of work trying to teach me to handle my emotions and I credit her for not going to the hospital sooner. They made honest mistakes because no-one knew what was going on with me. Buuuuuuut... a lot of my restrictions were religious in nature, and a lot of the time my needs weren't understood. I give them a pass and they've let me be an adult, even if I'm not good at it.
I just wanna take this opportunity to thank my parents for being good ones, for not treating me like a piece of s*** and being there for me. Every family has their flaws, so does mine, but reading this I see them as minor things.
This is a very sad and relatable thing for me. I've had a mentally abusive stepdad since I was 4. He always causes me of being manipulative and always having an "alternative plan". I am a sensitive person so I kind of feel sad for him because I can see that he wants to spend more time with me, but it is hard for me to do that when every time we talk he starts a meaningless argument. He constantly tries to turn my own mom against me with his reasonings also. He is also very judgmental. He claims that gay people are the same as pedophiles, which is RIDICULOUS.
Anyone who things that pedos have a place in the LGBTQ community needs to fuck right off. NO WAY, NOT NOW, NOT EVER.
Mom: yells at me for not straightening hair Me: starts to straighten hair Mom: yells at me for straightening hair Mom: yells at me Bc I didn’t listen to her Me: gets in trouble Bc i am apparently entitled and rude just bc I exist
You know how a lot of people always say how kids these days are so bad? Wonder where they got it from..... (also kids these days aren't all bad)
some of these are relatable like the door one. My mom thinks that just because other people are parenting their kids that way she should too. Even in movies and TV shows!
mom: Your brother is a boy, he can do anything. Also mom: You girls can't go out, can't do sports, can't ... can't ... can't ...
Ugh the sad thing is a lot of these parents also had abusive parents, just no resources to help them realize it wasn't normal/healthy. A lose lose for everyone. (That said some people are just evil for no reason too, I understand)
It's not an excuse in my opinion. My mother had a crappy childhood, I'll admit that. So did I, a lot of stories I have make your hair stand on end. I chose not to do that to my children. Not because
damn, pressed send too early lol Anyway, not because I had resources to help, but because I choose to parent with love, not fear. My mother also had that choice. I'm not perfect by any stretch, but my kids now they're loved, know their boundaries, and can talk to me about anything. I still can't do that with my mother.
I agree. It isn't as if they enjoyed what was done to them. Did they never read a book or see tv with examples of what parenting can look like. The lives of other families? You don't have to replicate a crappy childhood at all. It seems more like revenge of some kind to me. There are many people who choose to parent differently, kindly.
Not an excuse. My wife had a horrendously abusive childhood. Now that we have a child, she's determined to do exactly the opposite of what was done to her. She's a great mom.
Been there... got the t-shirt unfortunately. I m glad i m living in a different country now!
Well...this was heartbreaking. :( So sorry for all the guys out there creating those memes or suffering similar behaviour. Parents aren't always right, sometimes they're terrible abusive people from which you should get away as soon as you can and never look back. I hope all those who have to make such a decision find some great friends that make up for the good for nothing families. <3
My mum whenever she's angry says what do you have to say for yourself then i say im sorry and she says no your not. Im like WTF
Oh my god this is so sad. I was somehow expecting a fun and relatable post — but turns out, my family is a pure blessing compared to what some people had to live. I'm so sad for you, peoples. [big comforting hug]
This whole article makes me depressed
*when you already don't like your at home situation and then you read this expecting laughs and end up just getting angrier because you think of what your parents already do that you REALLY don't agree with because it's "to protect you", and then think of all the people that read this post and cried or something because THEY relate too and now you're mad at all parents because no one should make their kids feel this way, and no one should have to feel this way and relate to these so well*
When I was young, I went through some pretty traumatic stuff involving my disabled sister who was a lot older than me (no, it wasn't sexual, and it wasn't entirely her fault as her brain didn't function right). The event left me with terrible PTSD when I was just 10 years old, and I hated my sister at the time. My mother treated me like I had no reason to be as resentful and upset as I was, and acted like I was supposed to just get over it when my sister came home a few months later and apologized to me. A couple of years later, my sister passed away unexpectedly and it hit my family hard--I was still dealing with untreated PTSD when it happened, and because my reaction didn't please my mother, when we got home, she slapped me and made sure to tell me what a stupid little b***h I was for not getting over it. Almost 20 years later, she wonders why I don't talk to her about my feelings.
I suddenly have the urgent need to give my children a long hug. This article has left me once again very sad. It's shameful under what circumstances some children have to grow up. Parents often enough pass on what they have experienced in their own parental home. But that is simply no excuse. I myself grew up in a broken home, but I would never treat my own children in this way. Precisely because I know it differently. Some parents have no idea what they are doing to their children. Unfortunately, in the end there is the realization that there are people who simply should not have children. Not everyone is capable of raising children. I say that neutrally. It is simply a fact. These children then have to suffer from it.
As a single mother of 3 and 5 years old boys, one of my biggest fears is to be a abusive parent and don't even realize it or thinking that is normal or okay, until is too late and damage my kids. I'm against hit a child because I was hit a lot as a child, but I do scream a bit. (or maybe a lot, on my kids point of view.)? I really don't know. 😢
I'm no parent (in fact I'm a kid myself), but maybe try this trick I found on Tumblr? Basically this girl's mom always asked her 'can I hear that in polite-personese?' whenever she threw a tantrum or did something wrong. And the kid was made to say her exact intentions, so the mom knew exactly why the kid did what she did and could tell between a kid doing something wrong and a kid just trying to communicate. But lots of love to you, being a single mother of two toddlers must be hellfire and just know that you're awesome
Thanks for the tip and the compliment. I will start working on this technique.
i have wonderful parents
My mom during an argument with me: If I raised a dog it would be wagging it's tail at me in order to get food, why should I feed you if you don't follow what I said?
this reminds me of my childhood
All true about my mum except any hitting, with her it's always mental abuse. Always talks about negative things and is always complaining. I'm the only one she talks to about it so that's all she thinks she has to talk about. I don't want to hear about the news, mum tells me about it anyway. Trying to improve my thoughts, complains about work. Says I'm tired, she works full time so I'm not allowed to be. Don't have a boyfriend and barely have friend, obviously thinks I'm gay. She has also blamed me on her being single and smoking. If I'm upset at anything she'll find a dumb reason to say it's my fault such as not sleeping at night aka at a proper time or completely ignore me because obviously she has it so much harder. I have depression, anxiety and PTSD that needs proper professional help but she won't help me get it.
These are all too relatable. :(
Lol my entire childhood plus now.