Man Loses His Cool After He Almost Lost His Dog Because Of Future In-Laws Who Don’t Feel Remorse
Interview With ExpertThe first rule for avoiding conflicts is to never call a person’s pet ‘stupid’ or assume that they are not as important as any other family members. Pets are family. Every owner also has rules for how they want their animals to be treated – if they allow them to go out without a leash, if they want strangers to pet them or if they let their dogs be fed from the table during dinner.
One Reddit user shared his story online after his mother-in-law ignored his instructions to not let his dog outside without a leash. The dog ran away, got seriously injured, the in-laws didn’t even apologize, didn’t help search and the whole situation ended in them simply getting kicked out of the man’s home.
More info: Reddit
Saying that ‘stupid dog’ doesn’t matter to its owner is not the best way to make a healthy relationship
Image credits: Zen Chung (not the actual photo)
Man agreed to host his fiancee’s parents for Thanksgiving despite not being the biggest fan of them
Image credits: Tobi (not the actual photo)
Everything was going well, until his future MIL told him that she was going to let his dog out, to which he replied not to do that as she needed to be on a leash
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
Obviously, the instructions were ignored, the dog ran away and while the man and his fiancee were looking everywhere, his future in-laws were sitting at home
Image credits: u/WarmPea2596
The next morning, after the dog was found, his future father-in-law told him to ‘be a man’ rather than worrying about her; in response to that, he just kicked them out of his house
Recently, a Reddit user shared his story online asking folks if he was being a jerk for kicking his future in-laws out of his house during Thanksgiving after they lost his dog, who was injured and almost killed. The post received a lot of attention and collected almost 8K upvotes and 1.9K comments.
He starts his story by explaining that he agreed to host his future in-laws at his house for Thanksgiving, despite not liking them. He adds that he also has a dog named Lucy. His fiancee’s parents arrived and everything was going fine until her sister also arrived and MIL said she was going to let Lucy out to meet her.
OP informed her not to do that, as the dog needed to be on a leash and handled by him. Well, 2 minutes later, OP’s fiancee came screaming that Lucy had run away. The man and his fiancee immediately went out to search for her everywhere, while his in-laws and the sister were sitting at home doing nothing. The next morning, he received a call that his dog had been found.
When the man came to pick her up, he noted that Lucy had bites and was bleeding. OP, exhausted, came back home and locked himself in his room with his dog. However, his father-in-law came and told him to be a man, as the dog was back and it was just a stupid dog anyway. Well, as you can imagine, that was enough for OP and he told them to just leave immediately.
The community members gave the author the ‘Not the A-hole’ badge and declared that it was animal cruelty at that point. “When you bring an animal into your life, it becomes family. Saying that it’s just a stupid whatever is immediate grounds for being kicked out of our house,” one user wrote. “Please rethink marrying into this family. They don’t seem to have any redeeming qualities and Meg has just shown you that she is no different,” another added.
Image credits: Anastasia Shuraeva (not the actual photo)
It’s quite common that people don’t like their in-laws for various reasons and it can actually be challenging. “The key is to think about why we might not like them and recognize if we are being judgmental and imposing our preferences or having unrealistic expectations given who they are,” Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT, who is a personal development and relationship expert, as well as the founder and director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, told Bored Panda.
Now, speaking about hurtful and frustrating situations like the one in the story, Emma notes that it’s helpful for the partners to share their feelings. “And then, for them to show each other how they understand the other’s experience. This validation diffuses the situation and helps the partners create a strong partnership.”
Finally, I think most of us can agree that it’s difficult to apologize when we don’t agree that we did something wrong. Emma emphasizes that demanding an apology in this case doesn’t make sense and just creates more animosity.
“A better request is to ask if the other party understands why one is hurt, upset, disappointed and such. They don’t have to agree on how they see the situation, but they can agree that feelings were hurt and they can apologize for hurting the feelings though it wasn’t their intention to do so.”
Thus this way, both parties are honored in their experience and this is much more conducive to resolving conflict, repairing and creating a successful relationship.
Image credits: Daniel Frank (not the actual photo)
Let’s come back a little bit to this phrase that OP heard from his future in-law, that “it’s just a stupid dog”. Well, Time states that according to a study, people who take care of sick dogs experience higher levels of sadness, worry, and carer distress—symptoms that are comparable to what people experience when taking care of sick family members.
Furthermore, as stated by Huffpost, those who had sick animals also claimed to have worse moods and health in addition to feeling less satisfied in their relationships and at work. Thus, it not only shows that pets are family members but also highlights the importance of support to the owner when their pet is injured or sick, which was the opposite of what OP’s father-in-law did.
OP also noted that his future in-laws didn’t even apologize to him, which may seem like no big deal to most folks, but it actually is. Very Well Mind shares that the negative impacts of disagreement and relationship stress can be considerably lessened by mastering the art of effective apology. Sorry makes it easier for us to move on and put the argument behind us.
So while some people may never understand why pet owners care ‘so much’ about their fluffy family members, don’t test the line or you may be kicked out. And what do you think about this story? Did the author do the right thing or was he being too harsh? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Redditors backed up the author and told him to rethink the whole relationship
I've never said this before, but this girlfriend is an unsupportive POS and OP should break up with her.
Right on man! I totally agree. You don't trash other peoples children or their pets whether you like them or not. The girlfriend didn't like animals anyway which is a huge red flag. Ditch her now and save yourself the pain later. "She doesn't like animals but she loves Lucy"? No she's pretending to love Lucy to get her claws in you, once your married that will change. People either love animals or they don't. Keep taking care of Lucy and find her a good mom that really loves her.
YES THIS AMEN id be seriously concerned about how Meg treats Lucy when he's not around.
Load More Replies...OP is SUPER lucky to see this side of Meg and her family before kids came along. Once there's kids and/or a marriage, it's a lot harder to get out.
His home, his rules, guests don't get a say to what is important to him in his house and whom he treats whoever broke the rules, especially not when it was intentional. No one has a say in what you are attached to and how you feel about it. I'd thrown them out too if they did that to my cats. And it doesn't matter that they're animals. They're mine. Treat them properly, like anything else of my property or leave ASAP. That's the rule. It does not matter one bit what it is, as a guest, you simply don't get to decide what to do with it and if you think you do, you're entitled and don't deserve being a guest. Not your house, not your rules. Don't like it? You know where to get out.
Stop dating people who "love" their toxic families "but are totally different from them!" Who gives a s**t, they're still there to let those toxic a******s into your life and then play flying monkey for them when the toxic aholes get mad at you for having boundaries.
After the "it's just a dog" comment, my fists would have honestly and mistakenly pounded his face in.
they wouldn't get further than referring to my pet and family member as "its" like they're a table or an ornament and not a living thing.
Load More Replies...Unless life without your partner would truly be unbearable and they are truly the genuine love of your life and you know this is fact bc you've been through some real stuff together and they stand by you and lift you up more than anyone, absolutely never stay with a partner with an awful family. It's never worth it. Partners' families can be a gigantic burden and total nightmare and you become partially responsible for them. I wish more people understood that.
If they're all being disrespectful now, it only gets worse. They can't even behave for their daughters sake? It's just jaw dropping, they're staying in your house, eating your food, don't care about your feelings and don't care that the dog got out. They will all just continue to knock you down and tell their daughter how to treat you. Meg will be jealous of any time you spend with your dog!
Load More Replies...You should be thankful for this advance warning of what being married to her, and her awful family, will be like... YTA if you fail to take heed..
If this awful family is so indifferent to pets, why the hell would the mother even think about letting Lucy out to "say hello" to Megs sister? Sis wouldn't want or care about being greeted by Lucy. I doubt Meg likes Lucy even a little, and she's probably only pretending to. Id be concerned about how Meg treats Lucy when OP isn't around. Throw the whole family, Meg included, in the trash. There are plenty of good people out there who understand that pets are family. The first year I was dating my husband, his family not only surprised me with Christmas gifts, but gave my dog (who went everywhere with me) little gifts as well. I still have the little pig my future BIL and SIL bought my dog, even though she's since departed this world.
They complained about he didn't make them dinner? What about the "women into the kitchen"-attitude? There where women present... Please rethink If you really wants to stay with this family and having children. What if they get hurt while being guests at grandma and granddad? It is no drama, it is just a silly tiny human?
In my experience, dogs make better companions and family than humans so dude your best bet is to call off the engagement and take care of Lucy for a while. Tho she helped look for Lucy she didn't reprimand her family for it. That was not an honest mistake as her mother was told and she acknowledged not to let the dog out. Poor thing prob got traumatized from her fight. Lots of good woman out there who like dogs.
NTA Charge them with the vet bill, then tell gf, get out and stay out!!!!
There is so much more to this fiasco than the dog and this is from someone who considers her dogs important family members. Meg thinks you were rude and apparently does not blame her family. This shows a huge disrespect toward you and your needs and beliefs. If she cannot honor this aspect of your being, what else is she incapable of understanding and honoring? I say it is past time for an honest talk about what each of you considers important in life and in your future marriage. Better to discover you are incompatible now than marry someone who cannot respect your needs and feelings.
OP loves animals. His SO does not, not even the one she says she does - demonstrated by her actions and words. OP can bet that if he marries this woman he will never 'be allowed' to have another furry friend. Ditch the woman, find someone more compatible on this *very important* issue. It is just as important as the I want/don't want kids issue.
Touch my baby and I'll f*ck you up over so many generations that your descendants will talk about me as of an ANCESTRAL CURSE!
There seems to be a list of things people should be able to agree upon before getting married (how to handle finances, children/no children, religion, politics, etc.) and tolerance/love for pets should be part of the discussion. You see yourself always having a dog/cat/whatever and potential partner does not, it's going to be a problem.
A real man cares for and provides for his family, and pets are family! So if the farther in law wanted a thanksgiving dinner, after the preparation time was spend on solving the most immediate and important issue, (which was created by his own wife by the way), the farther in law should have been the one who had manned up (I hate that expression) and have provided what was needed to make that happen.
The fact that she's still close to her family despite them being so toxic says a lot. Ditch her ASAP. You don't need uncaring, selfish people like that in your life or family.
Drop the Meg and her family of opportunistic sharks. Lucy deserves better than that c**p*ss breed being potential family. SMH!!! >:-(
I'm single, love dogs (have one myself), and my family would never do that!
An X roommate of mine did something similar. My cat was excellent at sneaking out and I told her she had to keep the outside doors closed. I kept catching her leaving it wide open when bringing in groceries or other items. Then it happened cat got out. It took three days for me to fi d her. She was weak, her face and paws were all scraped and bloody. I literally thought I was going to kill this woman. I said some of the worst and cruelest personal things about her to her face and made her sob hysterically. Then when she started crying I told her I hoped she would choke on her tears and die because she was a waste of skin.
If there ever was a good enough reason to say "me or these apes", this would be it.
If he stays with Meg I would strongly suggest eloping and severing contact with them.
These days I have cats. Elderly cats and every day is full of joy and trepidation. But I had many dogs and if anyone did anything like that with any of my pet companion... Shoot, I don't want to get banned on BP.
These are not good people. Let’s say it was really an accident. I’m not a dog person but if i accidentally let someone’s dog out and it got lost, I’d be devastated! And doing everything I can to help. That’s the key. As well, Meg should have been searching with you.
"It is rude that you offered hospitality but then didn't make dinner and even kicked them out" - YES, 100% true... if that's the whole situation. But it isn't, is it? Also the kind of "men" represented by future-ex-FIL usually rates dogs slightly ahead of daughters in importance (only a name-bearing, straight, fertile son matters), so given this incident I'd think about that.
OP says "“Meg is very different from them but is close” No she isn't she will decline into her parents. taken from the lyrics of Albert Hammond........... "Yes, we learnt about her body but her mind we didn't know, Until deep rooted attitudes and morals began to show"
NTA, unless you insist on keeping Meg around. She was awfully quick to defend her family, even though she knew they were wrong. The lack of empathy is frightening to me, and it should be to you as well. Lucy needs to be reassured that you will defend her against people like that; no doubt she would do the same for you. Don't allow that toxic mob under your roof again. There's nothing stopping them or Meg from stepping up their cruelty towards Lucy. Get your ring back, break up with Meg, and live happily ever after.
He needs to train his dog to recall. Regardless of what happened, a dog that gets past puppy hood without that is bait. And if his dog is skittish, he should have left it locked in room when around new people - safest for the dog. He has done this dog no favors, and it isn't addressed in this narrative but I'm assuming that this dog has other nasty habits as well.
The potential in - laws are the AHs. I like and agree with the comment about sending them the vet bill!
I am not a dog person but more of a cat person, with that said, I would have at least helped. I would have also taken my fiancés side because, I have a pet that I love as well.
exactly. good people would have helped search for the dog, even if it WASN'T their fault. every one of them should have been out looking, even if it was an accident.
Load More Replies...When my wife and I were having a house that we had the cutest little dog. A cross between a Shih Tzu and something else. We moved in with my parents while the house was being built. We went to work one day and came back and our dog was gone. My mother gave it away. Needless to say we weren't especially sociable with my parents and that just made it even more so.
I've never said this before, but this girlfriend is an unsupportive POS and OP should break up with her.
Right on man! I totally agree. You don't trash other peoples children or their pets whether you like them or not. The girlfriend didn't like animals anyway which is a huge red flag. Ditch her now and save yourself the pain later. "She doesn't like animals but she loves Lucy"? No she's pretending to love Lucy to get her claws in you, once your married that will change. People either love animals or they don't. Keep taking care of Lucy and find her a good mom that really loves her.
YES THIS AMEN id be seriously concerned about how Meg treats Lucy when he's not around.
Load More Replies...OP is SUPER lucky to see this side of Meg and her family before kids came along. Once there's kids and/or a marriage, it's a lot harder to get out.
His home, his rules, guests don't get a say to what is important to him in his house and whom he treats whoever broke the rules, especially not when it was intentional. No one has a say in what you are attached to and how you feel about it. I'd thrown them out too if they did that to my cats. And it doesn't matter that they're animals. They're mine. Treat them properly, like anything else of my property or leave ASAP. That's the rule. It does not matter one bit what it is, as a guest, you simply don't get to decide what to do with it and if you think you do, you're entitled and don't deserve being a guest. Not your house, not your rules. Don't like it? You know where to get out.
Stop dating people who "love" their toxic families "but are totally different from them!" Who gives a s**t, they're still there to let those toxic a******s into your life and then play flying monkey for them when the toxic aholes get mad at you for having boundaries.
After the "it's just a dog" comment, my fists would have honestly and mistakenly pounded his face in.
they wouldn't get further than referring to my pet and family member as "its" like they're a table or an ornament and not a living thing.
Load More Replies...Unless life without your partner would truly be unbearable and they are truly the genuine love of your life and you know this is fact bc you've been through some real stuff together and they stand by you and lift you up more than anyone, absolutely never stay with a partner with an awful family. It's never worth it. Partners' families can be a gigantic burden and total nightmare and you become partially responsible for them. I wish more people understood that.
If they're all being disrespectful now, it only gets worse. They can't even behave for their daughters sake? It's just jaw dropping, they're staying in your house, eating your food, don't care about your feelings and don't care that the dog got out. They will all just continue to knock you down and tell their daughter how to treat you. Meg will be jealous of any time you spend with your dog!
Load More Replies...You should be thankful for this advance warning of what being married to her, and her awful family, will be like... YTA if you fail to take heed..
If this awful family is so indifferent to pets, why the hell would the mother even think about letting Lucy out to "say hello" to Megs sister? Sis wouldn't want or care about being greeted by Lucy. I doubt Meg likes Lucy even a little, and she's probably only pretending to. Id be concerned about how Meg treats Lucy when OP isn't around. Throw the whole family, Meg included, in the trash. There are plenty of good people out there who understand that pets are family. The first year I was dating my husband, his family not only surprised me with Christmas gifts, but gave my dog (who went everywhere with me) little gifts as well. I still have the little pig my future BIL and SIL bought my dog, even though she's since departed this world.
They complained about he didn't make them dinner? What about the "women into the kitchen"-attitude? There where women present... Please rethink If you really wants to stay with this family and having children. What if they get hurt while being guests at grandma and granddad? It is no drama, it is just a silly tiny human?
In my experience, dogs make better companions and family than humans so dude your best bet is to call off the engagement and take care of Lucy for a while. Tho she helped look for Lucy she didn't reprimand her family for it. That was not an honest mistake as her mother was told and she acknowledged not to let the dog out. Poor thing prob got traumatized from her fight. Lots of good woman out there who like dogs.
NTA Charge them with the vet bill, then tell gf, get out and stay out!!!!
There is so much more to this fiasco than the dog and this is from someone who considers her dogs important family members. Meg thinks you were rude and apparently does not blame her family. This shows a huge disrespect toward you and your needs and beliefs. If she cannot honor this aspect of your being, what else is she incapable of understanding and honoring? I say it is past time for an honest talk about what each of you considers important in life and in your future marriage. Better to discover you are incompatible now than marry someone who cannot respect your needs and feelings.
OP loves animals. His SO does not, not even the one she says she does - demonstrated by her actions and words. OP can bet that if he marries this woman he will never 'be allowed' to have another furry friend. Ditch the woman, find someone more compatible on this *very important* issue. It is just as important as the I want/don't want kids issue.
Touch my baby and I'll f*ck you up over so many generations that your descendants will talk about me as of an ANCESTRAL CURSE!
There seems to be a list of things people should be able to agree upon before getting married (how to handle finances, children/no children, religion, politics, etc.) and tolerance/love for pets should be part of the discussion. You see yourself always having a dog/cat/whatever and potential partner does not, it's going to be a problem.
A real man cares for and provides for his family, and pets are family! So if the farther in law wanted a thanksgiving dinner, after the preparation time was spend on solving the most immediate and important issue, (which was created by his own wife by the way), the farther in law should have been the one who had manned up (I hate that expression) and have provided what was needed to make that happen.
The fact that she's still close to her family despite them being so toxic says a lot. Ditch her ASAP. You don't need uncaring, selfish people like that in your life or family.
Drop the Meg and her family of opportunistic sharks. Lucy deserves better than that c**p*ss breed being potential family. SMH!!! >:-(
I'm single, love dogs (have one myself), and my family would never do that!
An X roommate of mine did something similar. My cat was excellent at sneaking out and I told her she had to keep the outside doors closed. I kept catching her leaving it wide open when bringing in groceries or other items. Then it happened cat got out. It took three days for me to fi d her. She was weak, her face and paws were all scraped and bloody. I literally thought I was going to kill this woman. I said some of the worst and cruelest personal things about her to her face and made her sob hysterically. Then when she started crying I told her I hoped she would choke on her tears and die because she was a waste of skin.
If there ever was a good enough reason to say "me or these apes", this would be it.
If he stays with Meg I would strongly suggest eloping and severing contact with them.
These days I have cats. Elderly cats and every day is full of joy and trepidation. But I had many dogs and if anyone did anything like that with any of my pet companion... Shoot, I don't want to get banned on BP.
These are not good people. Let’s say it was really an accident. I’m not a dog person but if i accidentally let someone’s dog out and it got lost, I’d be devastated! And doing everything I can to help. That’s the key. As well, Meg should have been searching with you.
"It is rude that you offered hospitality but then didn't make dinner and even kicked them out" - YES, 100% true... if that's the whole situation. But it isn't, is it? Also the kind of "men" represented by future-ex-FIL usually rates dogs slightly ahead of daughters in importance (only a name-bearing, straight, fertile son matters), so given this incident I'd think about that.
OP says "“Meg is very different from them but is close” No she isn't she will decline into her parents. taken from the lyrics of Albert Hammond........... "Yes, we learnt about her body but her mind we didn't know, Until deep rooted attitudes and morals began to show"
NTA, unless you insist on keeping Meg around. She was awfully quick to defend her family, even though she knew they were wrong. The lack of empathy is frightening to me, and it should be to you as well. Lucy needs to be reassured that you will defend her against people like that; no doubt she would do the same for you. Don't allow that toxic mob under your roof again. There's nothing stopping them or Meg from stepping up their cruelty towards Lucy. Get your ring back, break up with Meg, and live happily ever after.
He needs to train his dog to recall. Regardless of what happened, a dog that gets past puppy hood without that is bait. And if his dog is skittish, he should have left it locked in room when around new people - safest for the dog. He has done this dog no favors, and it isn't addressed in this narrative but I'm assuming that this dog has other nasty habits as well.
The potential in - laws are the AHs. I like and agree with the comment about sending them the vet bill!
I am not a dog person but more of a cat person, with that said, I would have at least helped. I would have also taken my fiancés side because, I have a pet that I love as well.
exactly. good people would have helped search for the dog, even if it WASN'T their fault. every one of them should have been out looking, even if it was an accident.
Load More Replies...When my wife and I were having a house that we had the cutest little dog. A cross between a Shih Tzu and something else. We moved in with my parents while the house was being built. We went to work one day and came back and our dog was gone. My mother gave it away. Needless to say we weren't especially sociable with my parents and that just made it even more so.




























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