Hi, my name is Lilo. I’m not just your ordinary guinea pig. Sure I eat pellets, eat hay, and poop but I also have an Instagram account that proves that I am way more photogenic than my owner and any other human on the face of the Earth.
It all started when I was alone in a little tank on the shelf at a pet shop, waiting to be adopted by some kind human after all my litter mates were gone. Thankfully, the shop had reduced my adoption fee to $10, making me an even more eligible bachelor. One Monday, this girl came in with her friend just to see what us guinea pigs looked like, not expecting to adopt one. For some reason, she wanted to hold me and try me out as if I was a new car… I gave the shop worker a hard time catching me because I thought this girl was a freak. I narrowly avoided the strong urge to pee on her. I mean, sure I wanted a forever home, but new people give me anxiety; I’m a guinea pig for goodness sake! Next thing I knew I was being put into a box after getting my manicure. I know I’m not the only one who is afraid of the dark and strangers who could potentially hurt me. I had no idea where I was being taken or who was my new human.
All of a sudden, BAM I had a forever home. We’re talking a big cage, orchard grass hay, I’m talking the works. She bestowed me with the name Lilo, a girl’s name. This is because the store had no idea I was a boy. Out of respect for my privacy, she waited till we knew each other a little more to check whether I was a boy or not. It was too late to change my name when she found out. Not long after, I overheard my human say she wanted a dog instead, but luckily she fell in love with me. For that, I gave her a hard time by taking a while to warm up to her. After about 6 months, I was ready to accept her love and reciprocate the feeling.
The holidays began to roll around, and my human loves the holidays. I mean she’s obsessed with them. She brought home little outfits for me. I was hesitant at first with these silly outfits until she took a picture of me in my cowboy outfit and I knew I looked good. The rest was history.
What does the future hold for me? Well, my dear admirers, one day I aspire to be the Grumpy Cat of guinea pigs. Perhaps I too shall make special celebrity guests appearances and do wild things with my new celebrity friends. No worries I wouldn’t let the fame get to my head and end up having mug shots taken of me. Who knows maybe I’ll get to meet my girl Ellen, but that’s a stretch for a little guy like me. I just hope she likes my kind. One goal of mine for when I become famous, I’d like to help out other animals who weren’t as fortunate as I was, perhaps, start a foundation. Help me get on my way to help others!
More info: Instagram
I’m super groovy with rad taste in music
I am one with nature
May as well call me Picasso
I love a good adventure
My heart goes out to Paris
I’m a studious fellow
When my piano describes myself – Grand
I LOVE holidays (I get it from my human)
I’m a jock
I can hang with the college crowd
I mean I’m just a model
My two best friends, Ben & Jerry
Here I come Aunt Millie’s corn bread dressing and Carol’s mashed potatoes!
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