I Made This Charcoal Drawings To Show How Dealing With An Eating Disorder Feels Like
I made this drawings because I wanted to tell people how I really feel. Everybody thinks that “this anorexia things” is just a phase, a joke, a way to attract attention. In fact, people who are suffering from any kind of eating disorder are struggling a lot to get over it, to fit into a society that is actually responsible for the way they became.
The silent Scream
The silent scream is the moment when I felt overhelmed, I knew I need help. But on the same time, when you deal of this you are afraid to tell people about it. I think people will laugh about me. I think they will all point on me saying that I am just a fat girl who can’t loose weight and she made this whole story.
Judging
Judging in when the same people who used to tell you than you need to loose some weight, are now pointing at you and telling you that you shouldn’t skipped lunch, that you are stupid for thinking you are fat.
Who is this person?
And then…. you find yourself alone looking in the mirror and asking everyday what you did wrong, you are still fat, you still don’t like yourself even if you lost 15kg by now.
Please don’t leave me, it’s not my fault.
You expect him to save you, but he doesn’t understand, he feels guilty because he sees how much you are hurting, yet, you are the one who is hurting him.
No, I don’t think I am too skinny.
They are always saying now that you are too skinny. You know what? That’s what you wanted me to be! And I am not even skinny, I will show you how skinny I can become!
I can’t deal with this anymore…
In the end of the day…you ate 700kcals but you still feel guilty. Rice? Too many carbs. What have I done….I can’t sleep. I didn’t had a good sleep in months…
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