I make a living as a Piano Bar Entertainer or "Dueling Piano Player." All of my work has been canceled due to the pandemic. (It's about the worst setting for a virus: crowds scream-singing along to Billy Joel in your direction.) I also have a high-risk health condition which means I need to be extra careful and isolate as best I can. I live alone a thousand miles from my family. So, I'm losing my stir-crazy mind. Here are the results.
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Cone Of Shame
I believe I'm the first comic artist to pit dogs against cats.
I got very sad for a second because I thought the dog was trying to drown himself
Goomba
Rent is very expensive in the Mushroom Kingdom. Even Peach needs a roommate on a Princess salary.
Yellow Alert
My biggest hit so far. It got to the front page of Reddit and went a little viral. I originally had the brain saying, "Bladder is at 14% capacity!" but some people took this to mean 14% capacity remaining, rather than 14% full.
Why does this happen? I go to bed and like 3 minutes later my brain is just like "WAKE UUP GOTTA GOOOO"
Know The Difference #87
This is part of an on-going series of informative guides for easily confused things. There's a bonus panel for this one on Instagram.
Eagle Eye
Did you know that eagles can undress you with their eyes from 200 yards? They just choose not to.
Sales
Another one with a bonus panel on Instagram.
Fun Food Facts
After committing armed robbery, broccoli would hijack a car and floret.
Reboot 2020
What color do you think God's cell phone case is?
With A Y
In 50 years, there's gonna be a president Keeley and vice president Breighdyn.
Every kid and mom is a variation of kaylee and aiden except for bloodrose and urn.
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Everybody Fess Up
I've really been struggling with purpose and productivity during the pandemic.
Revenge
My only regret here is that I couldn't include more pooping.
The Future Is Coming Soon
This is dumb and I'm sorry.
Lost
My girlfriend came up with a bonus panel which is on Instagram. It's probably better than the main joke.
Speling Is For Loosers
In the beginning, I drew people with no ears and with eyeballs wider than their heads. It made me giggle. However, I soon realized it was impossible to effectively draw anyone from behind like this, so I adjusted it.
All The Veggies Are On The Run
After committing armed robbery, broccoli would hijack a car and floret.
