You can never be sure what’s happening inside someone’s head. Even if you’ve known them for a long time.
A Reddit user named aManFilledWithRegret just shared his story with the platform’s community on r/TrueOffMyChest. He married his college sweetheart when they were still students and the couple had gone through thick and thin together. They had been together for over a decade and, despite his family’s suspicions, the man thought that was only the beginning.
But when he was laid off, he realized it was the end.
This man loved his wife and made sure she had everything that she needed
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
But when he started making significantly less, their relationship hit the rocks
Eventually, she divorced him
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image source: amanfilledwithregret
The man clearly hasn’t recovered yet
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
The leading reasons for divorce have fluctuated over the years and vary by country, often heavily influenced by cultural beliefs and practices. In Denmark, for example, a 2019 study revealed the top causes were:
- lack of love and intimacy;
- communication problems;
- lack of sympathy, trust, and respect;
- growing apart because of different interests and activities.
A national survey from 2005 remains the most recent large-scale report about the leading causes of divorce in the US. According to this survey, the 12 top reasons for divorce from most to least common are:
- lack of commitment;
- constant arguing or conflict;
- infidelity;
- marrying too young;
- unrealistic expectations about partner or marriage;
- inequality between partners;
- inadequate preparation for marriage;
- domestic violence;
- financial problems;
- conflict about domestic work;
- lack of family support;
- religious differences.
Americans are hesitant to share how much they make with their partners
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
However, more couples might be heading down the same path as aManFilledWithRegret. About 1 in 5 Americans don’t tell anyone how much their salary is, including their spouses or partners, according to a 2018 survey from Aspiration, a California-based financial services firm.
Only 60 percent of women and 52 percent of men share their salaries with their significant others. American adults’ hesitancy to share how much they make can hinder healthy financial growth as a couple, said Andrei Cherny, co-founder and CEO of Aspiration.
“Money has traditionally been a taboo topic in America and people don’t like to discuss it because it makes them uncomfortable,” Cherny told CNBC. “However, this, unfortunately, results in many Americans having limited financial literacy — how are people supposed to learn how to deal with their money in a responsible way if nobody ever wants to talk about it?”
While some people support the man
Many think there might be more to the story
Here’s what the others are saying
This was no gold digger. She was with him when he had nothing but debt and supported him through a health crisis. They were married for 10 years and had 2 children. He is projecting his personal frustrations at her imo. Any marriage of that length would be 50/50 split. I wonder who has custody of the children as he doesn't talk about child support. Did they agree not to do that? If so then how is she a gold digger? She could could have gotten more if she is the primary care giver. Again this is resentment at a failed marriage and excusing his part in that by making it about the money. I want to hear her side, especially about how her disapproving in laws made her feel and treated her.
That’s my thoughts exactly!🦆🦆🦆
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Wrong, she's a gold digger
Uuurgh. This man needs some serious counselling and self reflection. I'd put money on his attitude being the primary cause of the divorce.
She ran off with a surgeon. My sister's ex is a surgeon. She broke up when they were studying, because he never had time for her and now he works 80 hours a week, so if this woman says it's because she gets no attention, I'd expect her to go for a guy with a 40 hours a week job max. I think it's both their fault, but I ain't sayin she's a gold digger, but she sure ain't messin' with no broke guy.
We'd have to hear from the wife's perspective as to whether she did in fact "run off with" a surgeon. I suspect there is significantly more to the story than being told here. I also suspect the reasons are more substantial than "no attention". You can work long hours and still engage in quality time with your partner and family (speaking as a lawyer). It's always two people' to make a marriage, but this man has gone on internet blast to say that his ex wife (who married him when he had nothing, supported him through a health crisis and birthed his children) is nothing more than a gold digger and that SHE is the only reason his marriage failed. Me thinks he needs a mirror.
Except she did indeed "mess with a broken guy" by getting engaged to OP while he was a broke and jobless college student.
Hmm but did she work and pay for him when he needed it? Her love may have been genuine. Doesn't sound like she was only in it for the money and it was totally fake, but as soon as he made less she dumped him. If she had said lets have the kids an equal time and she didnt go for his money, she wouldn't have been a gold digger. If my ex wanted to be nasty he could take the kids almost all the time and demand my money, but he's no gold digger. She is.
I agree with Jaap. If one of your reasons for divorcing your husband was that he worked too many hours, why would you choose someone with a job that typically requires 80+ hours. She was definitely cheating before OP lost his job. As for him, it sounds like he's not dating or getting any... He needs counseling and a life. FPS, he's only 35! He's not trapped by house, school districts or his low paying job. He's got 15 years before employers will think he's "old". He's in the sweet spot too for dating!
He admits that the field of work he got into is "dwindling" - so why did he expend so much time and energy pursuing it?
Probably didn't seem like it was dwindling at the time.
This was no gold digger. She was with him when he had nothing but debt and supported him through a health crisis. They were married for 10 years and had 2 children. He is projecting his personal frustrations at her imo. Any marriage of that length would be 50/50 split. I wonder who has custody of the children as he doesn't talk about child support. Did they agree not to do that? If so then how is she a gold digger? She could could have gotten more if she is the primary care giver. Again this is resentment at a failed marriage and excusing his part in that by making it about the money. I want to hear her side, especially about how her disapproving in laws made her feel and treated her.
That’s my thoughts exactly!🦆🦆🦆
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Wrong, she's a gold digger
Uuurgh. This man needs some serious counselling and self reflection. I'd put money on his attitude being the primary cause of the divorce.
She ran off with a surgeon. My sister's ex is a surgeon. She broke up when they were studying, because he never had time for her and now he works 80 hours a week, so if this woman says it's because she gets no attention, I'd expect her to go for a guy with a 40 hours a week job max. I think it's both their fault, but I ain't sayin she's a gold digger, but she sure ain't messin' with no broke guy.
We'd have to hear from the wife's perspective as to whether she did in fact "run off with" a surgeon. I suspect there is significantly more to the story than being told here. I also suspect the reasons are more substantial than "no attention". You can work long hours and still engage in quality time with your partner and family (speaking as a lawyer). It's always two people' to make a marriage, but this man has gone on internet blast to say that his ex wife (who married him when he had nothing, supported him through a health crisis and birthed his children) is nothing more than a gold digger and that SHE is the only reason his marriage failed. Me thinks he needs a mirror.
Except she did indeed "mess with a broken guy" by getting engaged to OP while he was a broke and jobless college student.
Hmm but did she work and pay for him when he needed it? Her love may have been genuine. Doesn't sound like she was only in it for the money and it was totally fake, but as soon as he made less she dumped him. If she had said lets have the kids an equal time and she didnt go for his money, she wouldn't have been a gold digger. If my ex wanted to be nasty he could take the kids almost all the time and demand my money, but he's no gold digger. She is.
I agree with Jaap. If one of your reasons for divorcing your husband was that he worked too many hours, why would you choose someone with a job that typically requires 80+ hours. She was definitely cheating before OP lost his job. As for him, it sounds like he's not dating or getting any... He needs counseling and a life. FPS, he's only 35! He's not trapped by house, school districts or his low paying job. He's got 15 years before employers will think he's "old". He's in the sweet spot too for dating!
He admits that the field of work he got into is "dwindling" - so why did he expend so much time and energy pursuing it?
Probably didn't seem like it was dwindling at the time.