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“I Felt So Shaken Up”: Woman Leaves Family Trip After Eavesdropping On Husband’s Conversation With Mother-In-Law
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“I Felt So Shaken Up”: Woman Leaves Family Trip After Eavesdropping On Husband’s Conversation With Mother-In-Law

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Everyone’s different – some folks are natural-born empathizers, and others struggle to portray their emotions in a healthy manner.

Perhaps it’s the psychological damage and/or trauma that impacted your personality and perception of things, or maybe you’re just a person that inherited their parents’ bluntness – whatever it is, we’re social creatures, and a lack of sensitivity could seriously hinder our lives.

It concerns everyone and is a vital aspect of human life – it doesn’t matter if it’s a romantic connection or a bond you have with your next-door neighbor.

However, speaking strictly about relationships, empathy is a powerful force. Its absence could lead to constant friction, low self-esteem, and an overall decline in mental health, but what is the fine line between being unempathetic and pure toxic?

More info: Reddit | Charisse Cooke

There are certain signs that you should never ignore in a relationship

Image source: Michael Au (not the actual photo)

AITA for going home after I overheard my husband say he didn’t want to bring me with him to his family vacation?” – this Reddit user turned to one of the platform’s favorite communities wondering whether she was wrong to fly back home after overhearing her husband trash-talking her with her mother-in-law. The post has managed to receive over 27K upvotes and nearly 5K comments discussing this rather ugly situation.

Woman eavesdrops on husband and MIL bad-mouthing her on a family trip, books a flight and leaves quietly

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Image source: throwaway3743p9

The OP began her post by revealing that her husband and his family go on annual vacations, and although she’s on “okay” terms with them, there’s still a barrier that keeps them from being completely comfortable around each other because they’ve been only married for a short period of time.

The time arrived and his family arranged yet another trip, and the woman decided to ask whether she could join them.

The OP asked her husband whether she could join them on their annual family trip; although he was hesitant, he agreed to take her

Image source: throwaway3743p9

The man seemed hesitant, but the author told him that it’d be a great opportunity to connect with his loved ones, and he eventually agreed to take her. The relatives were surprised but welcomed her regardless.

On the third day of the vacation, everyone was sitting at a table outside while the OP was preparing some food – however, when she was making her way back, she overheard her mother-in-law wondering whether she really had nowhere else to spend the weekend, sort of implying that she didn’t want the author to be there.

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At first, the woman didn’t understand that it was indeed about her, so she kept on walking until she heard her husband saying: “I know! And I didn’t want to bring her with me but what was I supposed to do?”, while also bringing up her supposed pushiness.

A couple of days later she overhears her spouse and mother-in-law gossiping about her presence while she was preparing food

Image source: throwaway3743p9

Naturally, the woman felt incredibly shaken up, apparently to the point where she almost dropped the fruit salad that she made. She said that the whole time she was there she cleaned, cooked, and helped with the kids, yet this is how they chose to treat her.

The author decided to quietly book a ticket and fly back home. Her spouse did text her but she didn’t respond to anything, apart from stating that she was at home.

Once the man got back, he went off on the OP, arguing that what she did was “disrespectful” and “juvenile.” Of course, she told the truth about overhearing that rather insensitive conversation, to which he responded by slamming her for eavesdropping. He also added that his family would eventually warm up to her, she just needs to stop pushing the idea of being around them when they don’t feel comfortable, basically hinting that the woman was to blame for coming along in the first place.

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She flew back home without warning anyone and was called “juvenile”

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Image source: throwaway3743p9

Sadly, toxic relationships aren’t uncommon, which is why Bored Panda decided to reach out to a professional, hoping to get some information that’d be useful to folks who might be struggling. Charisse Cooke is a London-based psychotherapist with nearly 20 years of experience. She has worked in treatment centers, rehabs and has been in private practice for the last 10 years. The woman specializes in attachment theory, addictive relationships, intimacy issues and family work.

Since the OP’s story is mostly based around gaslighting, we’ve asked Charisse to tell us how to deal with it correctly: “Gaslighting relies on us feeling shame about our thoughts and feelings, and makes us assume more personal responsibility than a situation warrants. It turns every situation back onto us and manipulates and distorts our own perspectives. Recognizing when we are feeling shamed or blamed, can allow us to take an emotional step back from gaslighting. We have to stay firm in our self-esteem and resist falling into feeling bad about ourselves or questioning our reality. It is only by staying grounded, dignified, and calm, can we challenge gaslighting behaviour, or have the presence of mind to remove ourselves from it.”

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Image source: Banzai Hiroaki (not the actual photo)

BP also wondered whether it’s possible to save a connection if your partner is a walking red flag: “As a therapist, I believe in change. But change only happens when a person is willing to do the work. We all may display red flag behaviour – however, if we are willing to work on it, grow and do better, then anything is possible. When in a relationship with lots of red flags, if there is no desire on the other person’s part to work on their unhelpful behaviour, we can see what is on offer with this person. They are clearly showing us, and we have to see that, even if it’s hugely disappointing. But, if someone knows they have issues, and is willing to work on them, then a connection has every opportunity to grow and flourish.”

Last but not least, we asked Charisse to offer some guidance to people who are currently involved in problematic relationships: “When relationships are toxic, we are not living in reality. We are either living in a fantasy, where we believe, despite all evidence to the country, that a good relationship is possible; or we are addicted to the toxic dynamics within the relationship, and can’t give it up. Either way we can feel psychologically trapped. This is an attachment issue, whereby we are so insecurely attached, we stay in, or return to, unhealthy, dysfunctional relationships due to our fear of emotional or sexual deprivation. Getting support is the best way to help us leave toxic relationships. Because we are stuck in fantasy, it is difficult for us to see the true destructive nature of these entanglements. Seek therapy, support groups like sex and love addicts anonymous, online forums or a doctor so you don’t feel alone.”

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Fellow Reddit users shared their thoughts on this matter

 

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jessica-cicale avatar
ItsJess
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is absolutely horrible, I don't take divorce lightly, but it sounds like this ahole takes his wife too lightly. What did he even marry her for? To cook, clean, and look after the kids apparently since she felt the need to do that on a vacation for everyone.

tncech avatar
Rhyme Like A Lime
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree, I recommend divorce only be an option when it's gotten fairly bad, but at this point she's basically his maid, not his wife. She needs to leave before she gets tied down with children

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terihogan_1 avatar
Dumpsterbaby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F-&k him and the horse he rode in on. You don't need that. Get out, it's only going to get worse.

playswithpigs avatar
Lisa Stephens
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly now what did the poor horse do. Just an innocent bystander from my perspective. 😁

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deborahharris avatar
Deborah Harris
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just leave him, what a total a*s hole he and his Mother is, how awful.

alalex avatar
AL ALEX
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Should have never asked if you could go on vacay with this CREEP, and I'm sure this wasn't the first Red Flag, pack up and vacate the premises, Honestly Right --

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julija-mich avatar
B-b-bird
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd step in with a salad and say "oh, so i'm not welcome in this family? Sorry for marrying your son, we can fix this mistake. Please enjoy your salad" and theeen i'd book a ticket... to divorced festival. Believe or not, this brief conversation was major big flag which will never ever go away.

kristina_him75 avatar
Kristina H.N.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly right. The family might not feel comfy with her yet since they don't know her well, but they're not even trying to get to know her and showing 0 decency. Strangers end up chatting for hours, what they do is choose to exclude her.

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leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why stop running when she got home? Pack up, keep going, leave a note: "You don't want me around. Wish granted! Talk to my lawyer if you need to know where the clean laundry is." Is that b*tchy? Well, a lot less so than "Ugh, I married this pushy domestic slave who thinks she belongs in this family."

regchildcare avatar
Mary Landry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your young please don't give another minute of your life to this marriage though there will be many tears many sleepless nights you don't want to be me. I always did the dishes cleaning etc at every function while they laughed and fun. I did this fir 30 years and them realized I wanted a better spouse . So many years lost can't get them back I hope you move on from him and find someone who adores you. It's hard but worth it please don't lose who u are and please leave him.

dld57 avatar
KiT
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh I'd have revealed my presence so they knew I'd heard them. And then left.

leonardlinton avatar
Leonard Linton
Community Member
1 year ago

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eve189 avatar
Evelyn Chambers
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sweetie you need to dump that a*****e. He also didn't want you to come with them and no you were not eavesdropping, you happen to hear his f****d up family and your HUSBAND talking about you while bringing them a salad you made. Yeah they were upset you left because you were their babysitter, cook, and maid. Your husband should have defended you with his family, instead he didn't he just joined in with them. He turning everything around to make it your fault, don't take that s**t from him, his family should have welcome you with open arms. LEAVE

cateperez avatar
Cate Perez
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex's family pulled the eavesdropping manipulation on me when I was with him at their beach house. It was really obvious I was around the corner because I had announced my presence. The door was cracked and his mom and sis were loudly talking s**t about me. He didn't stand up for me either. F**k them though. They were miserable harpies and he's a waste of a man. If you can call him that.

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juliechute avatar
Hoodoo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I see- the old " How dare you bleed after I socked you in the face" routine..gaslighting 101. Run, don't walk to an attorney's office & secure your assets b4 wasting more time on this turd hunt. I had a similar thing happen to me- I went into the garage( door closed) & overheard m' husband hosing me to the neighbour- it actually validated what I knew in m' gut. I moved out days later & it was an incredible relief actually. I hope OP does the same.

robertlongwill avatar
Robert Longwill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Op you need a new husband. He is toxic and abusive towards you if you don't understand that. Maybe you should divorce this idiot. And maybe look for a good man who you deserve. Someone like me maybe. LOL

frankbernard avatar
Frank Bernard
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

DIVORCE!!! Very FIRST paragraph tells it all…. You had to ASK if you could come along!!! Yer dude thinks if you as a cook/maid/chauffeur/nanny/baby momma Not as a wife soulmate partner lover best friend F him and his famiy This is way worse than toxic… It’s RADIOACTIVE

sandyd avatar
Sandy D
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She was right to leave an should divorce the jerk. Who doesn't bring spouse on family vacation? At least she found out how sh*tty his family and her husband really sre

nandinabee avatar
Skeeter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I overheard my MIL say "...did she really have nowhere else to spend the weekend?". and my husband says "I KNOW!!!! And I didn't want to bring her with me but what was I supposed to do?!!! OP, keep running this thru your head if you think for a minute that you should stay in this marriage.

caseymcalister avatar
Casey McAlister
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh no, they were disappointed that you didn't react well to them trash talking you behind your back! What a shame! Telling you to your face that they don't want you there would be rude, but at least it would be honest, but this duplicity is absolutely despicable.

klorinczi avatar
Klara Lorinczi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s hard to do but you need to divorce him - he’s a loser! He’s disrespectful and a mommas boy. Find yourself a real man.

keitho avatar
Keith O
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce him. No woman, man, person, etc should ever be subjected to open and purposefully exclude you, the woman MARRIED into the family. That is insane to me. You should have always been invited and the fact that your husband didn't want you to come say A LOT. Move on sweet girl and find someone who really appreciates you.

jennifercbowen avatar
Suzie
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's actually standing there talking about how she disappointed his family and left a bad impression? I'd have told him that's fine because it will match the disappointment I feel and bad impression they gave me. What a putz.

ordinaryman008 avatar
Ordinary Man
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He says give them time to warm up but doesn't include you in family events. Don't bother to divorce him. Make him do all the work and hold out for a good settlement. Don't cheat on him but start living your on life. Don't cook. Don't clean up after him, Don't wash his clothes, and Don't argue. Kill him with kindness so he can't blame you in divorce court. Don't socialize with his family. For what its worth I'm a man and you deserve better. His family will never change and he will never stand up for you. And get your own bank account and put your money in it.

levinessadam avatar
Adam Leviness
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, I'm sorry because I get what you're saying and on paper it might even sound like a good idea. But, this dude is clearly manipulative and an abuser. If he feels this little about his wife when she's being a dutiful wife then he will most likely become abusive physically when she starts standing up for herself. He's breaking her down making her feel terrible about herself and acting as if she is in the wrong by gaslighting her. So far, that's all he's needed. But, once she gets fed up and starts standing up for herself or starts pointing out his flaws or making him feel like less of a man he will hit her to feel superior. I lived through this as a kid with my mom and step dad. She is lucky enough, hopefully, to see the truth now and hear from these people online giving her support and recognition and hopefully she runs fast and far away as quickly as she can before he breaks her or worse, kills her.

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rpepperpot avatar
The Other Guest
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How dare OP, a member of the family, want to be included in a family vacation. Next thing you know, she'll be expecting them to be nice to her.

amandamacdonald avatar
jijithecat avatar
Jiji The Cat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

apologies, hope you find a better and less toxic relationship, we’re here for you.

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sweetangelce04 avatar
CatWoman312
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have gone back to the table and said I'm sorry to be such an inconvenience to everyone and then went home. I would have let it be known that I know so they can feel like assholes first.

kwpierce5 avatar
Calyx Teren
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hear you, but quietly disappearing is fantastic. I love it. I also think that when he got home she should have refused to discuss it. The only person she talks to for non-transactional matters from now on should be her lawyer.

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paulajwynn avatar
Paula Wynn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I heard what they were saying, I would have put the fruit salad on the table and said, "I'm sorry for ruining your family trip. I thought when we got married that I became a part of this family. Enjoy the fruit salad." Make them feel like the a$$holes they are! BTW, don't think having kids with this jerk will make things better. Get away from this tool and go find a man who treats you the way a man SHOULD treat his wife! He IS out there waiting for you!!!

lramsdell avatar
Lorraine R
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And if he isn't don't worry about it. You're better off on your own than with a POS like this guy.

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tracypaints44 avatar
Tracy Rowe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have to wonder if OP's husband has actually been gaslighting his family too. He sounds like a narcissist. He may have been telling his family that she was a horrible wife and complaining about her to them to make her look bad and like he's a victim. Sounds like he's not only gaslighting her, he's trying to isolate her. That's a HUGE red flag

chemerson205 avatar
Christopher von Emerson-Schun
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yea he’s a total snake. I think ur right cause it sounds like his mom is saying “is it true ……” like he’s spreading lies. I’m sure there’s some past issues we’re not being told. Like why she wouldn’t be asked to go on a vacation in the first place but still nobody deserves this c**p. I don’t care if she was eavesdropping, spying or whatever. Your spouse shouldn’t talk shjt about u like that and if they do, divorce their a*s!

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ranger9 avatar
Cory Wilson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Leave. Now. Before it's too late. I have lived where you are headed for 37 years. Run. Now.

cari_mcfar avatar
Carissa McFarland
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a family vacation. You're married and a part of the family. Please GTFO that relationship ASAP. You deserve so much better. Your significant other should never say anything like that behind your back. I admit I get annoyed with my spouse when we go out, but he's always welcome to tag along no matter how much he might get on my nerves at certain things. (He's not a social person).

blouise002 avatar
MsLou
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

AITA posts like hers scare me that there are people like her husband out there like that...being gaslit is a terrible TERRIBLE feeling and I hope she's ok

loannikerris avatar
Loanni Kerris
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And, being gaslit is easier than you think. In a relationship there are emotions involved, and that makes everyone vulnerable for such a s..t

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amg avatar
AMG
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm more concerned about your self-esteem and psychological makeup, when u said u cooked, cleaned, and took care of the children...???!? Then now that everyone is settled, and waiting on the fruit salad, they wondered why u couldn't stay elsewhere??? Who the hell raised and damaged you? Why was he even able to contact you at all after that vampire family meeting? Where is your wing person, who would have helped you navigate the clusterf__k your life seems to be, with this cretin you are married to?? Harsh??? YES!!! WAKE UP!!! I am so angry at this I feel triggered and I'm going to figure that out... In the mean time RUN, NOW, and think about why later!! Good Luck🤯

janetpattison avatar
Janet Pattison
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly what i thought. But i got married into a similar family when I was 18. I was so naive and my husband was a mama's boy. My MIL couldn't stand me & was probably thrilled when We divorced. I wasn't part of their cultural group.

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erikgranqvist avatar
Erik Ivan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you go into a relationship, it's you and your spouce. That relationship is first priority. You become the family, and your parents, sibblings etcetera has to take a back seat. That means if one are invited for a family gathering, both are invited. And it is up to you, as a couple, to prioritice your relationship.

kayrose avatar
RoanTheMad
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like getting to know your partners family and warming up to one another should be a requirement BEFORE getting married, surely? (except in cases where both sides hate the family and are content to cut them out of their lives) Husband is an a*****e, his family are assholes, Op needs to drop him and move on with her life and be with someone who appreciates her.

christiennewbury avatar
Christien Newbury
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Was this an arranged marriage by any chance? Because your husband doesn't love you. I mean does he even like you? He certainly doesn't KNOW you. You need to seriously rethink if you can live the rest of your life like this. I wouldn't even bother to try and make it work. Just end it and find someone who loves and appreciates you, despite his extended family.

janetpattison avatar
Janet Pattison
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well said...This guy, the husband & his family are seriously damaged & way, way way beyond fixing. The OP needs to rescue herself!

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sabrinamessenger avatar
Sabrina Messenger
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too bad she didn't see that husband and MILs true colors before she married him. Maybe she should give that husband a "permanent vacation" away from her. A one way ticket to Divorceland where he pays all expenses like alimony and child support.

ladylastarr avatar
Lady La'Starr
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First of all you need to correct yourself because you are NOT eavesdropping it's not your fault that they were talking loud enough for you to hear them while you were walking up ...they're just mad that they didn't see you to stop talking before you heard them. Now personally I would have tossed that fruit salad at that table and been on my happy way...

rickicker avatar
Ricky Namara
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pardon the French, but the family is a bunch of gossipy bitches, the mother in law is a trashy Queen Bee, and the husband is a pathetic mama's boy. When you're married, your spouse is FAMILY! And you take your spouse to every FAMILY outing unless he/she is indisposed (taken ill, attending to an ill relative, generally illness related)! Why? Because she's FAMILY, you a*****e!! My advice is to talk to this a*****e one last time. If he still doesn't get it, get out now. You're still young, girl. Don't let him gaslight you into a life of servitude and then tying you down on it with children.

lunchbox270 avatar
Marie Karlin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why bother talking to him even "one last time?" If he doesn't get it now, he won't get it then, either. The only way she should be talking to him is through a lawyer. This marriage is not worth the effort.

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jackielulu avatar
Jackie Lulu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You had to ASK him If you could go? Doesn't he like going places with you? What is wrong with him? Get away from this guy, the sooner the better.

tracy_23 avatar
Tracy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it were just the family talking, screw them. Stay and make them suffer through your presence with your husband firmly on your side... But the fact the husband was trash talking her... Those are big, big issues. Divorce-sized issues.

hunnreich avatar
T.Milly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a psychiatrist, I can factually say that THIS IS NOT AN EXAMPLE OF GASLIGHTING!! It is an example of two people who probably should have gotten to know each other & their respective families better prior to marriage. I find it suspect that the husband still wants to go on family vacations with his parents but not his spouse. The OP did exactly what I would have done if I were in the same situation. It's not a juvenile reaction at all, as the OP's husband believed it was. It's the proper reaction, especially for someone who is very upset but not in the mood for an argument with others who, potentially, can't understand why she's so upset to begin with. After all, the husband & MIL found it suspicious that OP wanted to vacation with them. OP's hubby is the problematic person here. He still wants his mommy involved in much of his life and really isn't ready to leave the nest behind. OP should move on with life without juvenile hubby & overbearing MIL.

rosenrotrtliebchen87 avatar
RosenrotRtLiebchen87
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

he basically told her she was in the wrong and overreacting, is that not a classic example of gaslighting?

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joshuashamblin avatar
Joshua Shamblin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The husband is clearly a p***k-tard and his mother is the one who raised said p***k-tard. Situations like this never get better. They only get worse. Get a lawyer, take him for half and find someone who actually wants to be with you. Not just someone who wants a maid...

karenpowell avatar
karen powell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have gone through this situation and I understand that you want the family to like you and to get along fine but you as a person have done no wrong. This man puts his family first and always will you will never be before them. He will allow the bad talk and participate no matter what you do you never be enough for him or his family. I tried this same thing for 10 years. Honestly I say get out of this marriage now your not going to be happy because it only gets worse and after awhile you begin to feel like c**p in the relationship. Leave and go find someone who appreciates you, he never will when it comes to his family.

joannelawrence avatar
Jo L.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is just heartbreaking. On our wedding day, after the ceremony, my mother-in-law came up to me with the biggest smile on her face, gave me a big hug, and said "Yay! I finally have a daughter!" I realize my relationship with her is not the norm, and I am so blessed to be loved so much by a woman who is my second mom by choice. Stories like these are just so, so sad.

christiennewbury avatar
Christien Newbury
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have two daughters-in-law and two sons-in-law. Sometimes I actually prefer them to my own kids! I'm so blessed because they are all great additions to our family. 💗

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noelboutte avatar
Noel Boutte
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Him n his Momma would Neva have to WORRY bout seeing me or her GRANDKIDS ever AGAIN!!!! Damn him n her😳😳

teresaanne26 avatar
Teresa Coss
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd tell that mfr to go suck a jock.... Better yet let me tell him.. people like this need someone to ram the rod up their butt a little higher I've dealt with my fair share of aholes in my life and with my in-laws no matter what I did it was always wrong.. my ex husband never stood up for me... My new husband and his family treat me like gold!!! My advice divorce that sorry sack of s**t...

peterkn4 avatar
Pete from Cali. USA
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This whole thing is bad. It's understandable if his family doesn't like her but he should not have thrown her under the bus. That's a huge red flag. His job is to keep things civil or better yet help them get along since she IS family now. Sounds like he isn't ready to actually be married to her.

davehinckley avatar
Dave Hinckley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe hubby is upset because he wasn't able to get, let's call it mommy time, while you were there.

maritablardony avatar
Marita Blardony
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What did you see in this less of a human that made you decide to spend the rest of your life with him? Engagement periods are there to look for red flags before you commit to hell on earth.

toddx007 avatar
Adrienne TW
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get out now! It won’t get better. He will always treat you like this and it will eat at your self esteem.

killua_84 avatar
Lunar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't even want to stay married to a man and family that don't welcome me.

marilyn-natasia avatar
GrayKumiho84
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really broke my heart after reading this story. I hope she makes the decision to leave this toxic sorry sod of a man and his family. What I'm trying to understand is, how did she end up marrying him in the first place? I'm pretty sure she had picked up a couple of Vibes that this family of his doesn't approve of her of some sorts? I don't think I can marry into a family feeling some sort of distance with. Of course say my husband truly loves me and is on my side that's a different story. But clearly this fellow is something else. Pretty sure he wasn't all that great of a boyfriend to her before they had gotten married too. Poor thing.

doyleaaron avatar
Doyle Aaron
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am a 62 year old man and actions speak louder than words. You are not loved as m uch as his family. In other words you are a wife in words only. Get out of this fake marriage.

bellebeasleymiles avatar
Belle Miles
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jeeze, what are you? A mutant circus performer? The other siblings have there spouses along but NO TO YOU? Hmmm. Something's not being spoken.

k_anderson avatar
K. Anderson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like a marriage so someone could get paperwork to become a citizen aka fake relationship. Hope you doesn’t get pregnant

csillakaszas avatar
Csilla Kaszas
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She did not let them warm up to her - from a safe distance. Because that's how people get closer: by staying in their respective homes and going on separate vacations. /s

giobemo avatar
Giobemo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this story real?? This is like some "Get Out" kinda vibes right here. Family should be fully welcoming family from the wedding onward. Sure there will be a 'warming up' period as they get to know each other if they haven't already, but that doesn't involve excluding them from family events or making them unwelcome at ANY time. Did they leave each of their children with a sitter for a while until they had a chance to warm up to them too?? What's even more bizarre is the husband's agreeing with them. It really makes you wonder what his views and values are in terms of marriage and family. He seems to be fully on board with his wife going through this quarantine period with the family. He either thinks far too little of her or he is far too intimidated and controlled by someone else in that family. Makes me think of Smurf from 'Animal Kingdom'...

rdennis avatar
R Dennis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am not a big advocate for divorce - I have been married 23 (smooth and rough) years... but I can't see any way that I would stay with someone who didn't have my back. I don't care what the in-laws think (though I have known mine since I was four and we are good), but the husband's behavior is a dealbreaker. It seems he doesn't consider her family and isn't willing to defend her when she isn't present. Time to get legal advice and make an exit strategy.

jaimealvey avatar
Jaime Alvey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm just curious about one thing. How would he react or feel if he was in your shoes and treated him that way. I would definitely consider divorce if he doesn't have your back when it comes to his family. That is a serious red flag right there. Why would he even get married if this is how he truly feels about you? He's definitely not being fair to you by calling you juvenile and disrespectful when leaving the family vacation that he was hesitant on bringing you to. And then getting mad at you for accidentally overhearing a conversation about why you were there. As for as I'm concerned he's the one being juvenile and disrespectful to you. Get out of that situation while you can.

postvoorly avatar
christiennewbury avatar
Chrissyfox
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lots of reasons. Rebounding from a previous relationship is a main reason. Pressure from peers and family. Being desperate to be loved - often coming from a loveless or traumatic childhood. Arranged marriage. THINKING you're in love when it's probably just infatuation.

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virginia_sprayboat avatar
Virginia Howard
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She did the right thing. Get out as fast as you can. I hope she called a lawyer. That guy is a narcissistic AH.

onemessylady avatar
Aunt Messy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have gone home, changed the locks and alarm code, packed his clothes in boxes and Fedexed them to his parents' house, sent ONE TEXT that said now he can move back in with Mommy,then blocked him and his stupid family every way I could. The second call would be to a divorce lawyer,

bnicole603 avatar
Brianne Nevrotski
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This needs to be at the top. I really hope OP did exactly that and is out there living her best life today.

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heather_michele avatar
Heather Woods
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have gone home talked to a divorce lawyer and changed the locks. when he came home told him to sign the papers and pack his stuff and find a new place to live starting that night. He obviously doesn't love you and doesn't want to be in a relationship so he can get out.

roseg avatar
Rose G
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That would not have been the end of a Vaca.. it would been end of that relationship. You should never have to ask to go with your husband on a family vaca. Especially when other spouses are there too. It should not matter if his family likes you. If they can't accept you he needed to defend you. He doesn't sound like he much loves or cares for you. That's not a marriage nor being a partner. You're not wrong. He is and so is his family. They are childish immature and need to fix themselves before judging you. Learn to only.live for yourself and kids and a man who will love and stand by you at all times.

laly-lynch-9 avatar
ℙ𝕦𝕣𝕣.𝕞𝕒𝕚𝕕
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From what I gather with this, my first thought was, 'Why are they even married to begin with?' If things don't begin to change, esp his behavior, I don't see it lasting very long. And even if it does, it's going to be a seriously unhealthy and unhappy union as long as they remain together.

roserosee avatar
Rosie Cat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I disagree, she should be very pushy and push her way to a better life. Be single or find another person who values her, and not just be a maid with benefits. It will hurt now but it's going to hurt more later. NTA.

danaturner avatar
Dana Turner
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The 1st Red Flag was when she had to ASK for permission to go and he actually hesitated. WHY wasn't she included from the get? And then to hear your MIL and Husband talking sh*t when you're within the same area...WOW....of course, this "so-called marriage" is doomed.

sandycarey avatar
Sandy Carey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel so heartbroken for this woman wanting to spend a vacation with her husband's family. Best thing he could have done for her was be honest. She must have been devastated by not only her InLaws feelings but her husband's also. Only difference between her an I is that divorce proceedings would be in the works and irreconcilable differences as the main complaint. He's a p**s poor husband, and the family is very disrespectful.

niccihuysamen avatar
Nicci Huysamen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm embarrassed and it didn't even happened to me. Reading this I felt my cheeks turn bright red. Well .... It may have been anger, not embarrassment. I'm horrified. Lady, why would you tolerate that in a million years? He clearly thinks you are the dirty, hot gum on his shoe in the summer. You know the kind you try to scrape off your shoe on the pavement, yelling EEUW! If you stay with this humongous douche then YTA.

mohamedbasiouny avatar
Mohamed Basiouny
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce his a**e and claim all his money for the effort of being his wife in such condition and for the emotional damage he and his family caused and in the end of the court , tell him and all his family " you said i try to push my self , you didn't want me to be in family gathering, now all your life all of you will have nothing to think of or talk about except me, i don't push my self, i naturally find my way) and live your life after... This is what such people really deserve🤣

karishiawashington avatar
Karishia Washington
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My question is what was it like before she married him? If he acted like this before, she created her own prison. Free yourself! You're the ONLY ONE that has the key 🔑

christinclifton avatar
Christin Clifton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My man can be a smartass sometimes and he even says it he acts like that even around his family we have been together over two years and his family has invited me to several things even though im a bit standoffish as a person they have always tried to make me feel welcome, to the point where if his mother thinks hes being to much of a butt she gets onto him and tells him to treat me better, u deserve so much more if he did this to me i wouldnt stay with him u dont deserve to be treated that way

teri_526 avatar
Teri Rosa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Before I left I might have given them a real reason to talk about me. Then my husband will be called out for the fraud he us. He is either lying to his family or his wife. Lousy either way. Glad she went home.

eleanordisco avatar
Puggo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA girl he does not appreciate all you have done for him and the family(s), like. I have heard so many things about mil doing this, and this is one of the worst.

mistysouders avatar
Misty Souders
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Op. His gaslighting you. His FAMILY abusive and so is he. Now you know how he and his family talks about you behind your back. VACATIONS are for FAMILIES and its VERY CLEAR that HIS family does NOT CONSIDER you ANY WAY apart of THEIR family. They just got unexpectedly COUGHTand then BLAMED YOU. You need to file for DIVORCE immediately. You will continue to receive THEIR PUNSHEMENT for you marrying that nasty POS until you do. Your WORTH such more then this VIVAL C**P. GOOD LUCK TO YOU

anniesteele avatar
Annie Steele
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Find a good divorce lawyer and sue him and his family for mental cruelty.

moya9469 avatar
Marcia Anderson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It really seems like this must have been an arranged marriage of some sort. There is no love or even like or respect in the relationship, rather it's more like a business transaction and the man just tolerates the woman. The woman in turn tries to justify her existence through servitude. The family of course does not want her as she is not within their league. Can she afford to leave the contract/relationship? She has some decisions to make for herself. Things will not get better.

mrankin1975 avatar
Monica A. M.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gtfo right now. This s*it ain't gonna get no better. Run fast.

hinck_07 avatar
Dina Hinckley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't let him treat you like his personal doormat. He is completely toxic. You left the vacation and you should just keep walking. Nobody on earth should have to be treated that way.

roseg avatar
Rose G
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

By the way, you're not eavesdropping on something you have every right to know and he should of been straight up with you about. No one should be speaking of anyone unless they are there to defend themselves. They need some serious counseling and i wouldn't even want to be part of that family or involved in any way with them. Say your prayers and make yourself happy as they seem to only care about their own happiness.

nijoka1469 avatar
RezFidel
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow... first degree Gaslighting, Disrespect, Abuse and no Love at all. RUN OP RUN! Fock that butthead and his whole disgusting family.

elisabethskladalova avatar
Kensi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the hell did I just read. This made me feel bad for that woman. This is so unfair. She really needs to leave him, this will only get worse. He's an ahole.

tbrig avatar
333
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

You read fiction. Nobody is that naive and dense.

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lone dragon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The whole family are a bunch of a-holes. She needs to get out and see a shrink before she gets into another relationship like this. She needs to realize she has worth and deserves love.

ronh_ avatar
Ron H.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She needs to leave this gas lighting narcissist and his family! The whole lot of them are toxic!!

pacodiablo avatar
paco diablo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well now she doesn’t say how she met her husband and I’m curious about that, was she a pole dancing stripper that he met at a topless bar? Or what? Even if she was he married her and he should have her back in any situation, that’s what loving partners do. He should have told his mom to go f**k herself and left with her. My heart goes out to her, her husband is a d**k

shirin_hashim avatar
Coffee panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When i hear these stories, my heart always says just divorce already whereas my friends will say they should work it out. I dunno if it will work out since there are no respect there in tge first place.

staphgirl79 avatar
Mistiekim
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would’ve felt the urge to pop out and throw the salad bowl down on the table before I left. Or maybe dump it on his head. If my husband went on vacation every year with his family, and I knew other spouses were there, yet he never invited me I would push him all the way to the curb. You are his family too. If he can’t understand that, then yes get out now.

shadee_15 avatar
Shana Danielle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He will probably play victim when she quietly files for divorce as well. And his family will believe him. They raised this d*** allowing no chance of maturity or growth as a man or husband.

deliagoins avatar
Delia goins
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. I understand her feelings. I go am in a marriage we’re my in laws don’t like me. Well the lady’s don’t. My husband allows them to tell him what to do and how to do it. Idk what he is doing until after he has messed up. I don’t even try to fix anything he messed up. I just let me do how ever they say. Because he doesn’t realize they don’t like the fact he has come a long ways in life with me. And they hate seeing him have anything in life. So I’d visit my in laws . I don’t go anywhere with him anymore. I could careless were he is when he leaves home. I have several things that has allowed me to call it quits. I’m trying to save up to pay a lawyer for a divorce. I will not be living in this mess long. So she needs to do the same thing . I plan to do . Get a Divorce… it will be all worth fir me.

rbarile22 avatar
Rose Barile
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Marriage was originated by God and he says: “a MAN shall leave his mother and father and stick to his wife. Is his mother that intimidating he can’t stand up to her! Huge red flag and no-no on his part. And then he shows mo empathy towards your rightfully hurt feelings.I would have left too and done exactly what you did.And once he arrived home, if this happened to me, I would also have made sure to let him know exactly what I heard, how it made me feel, and asked him why did he married me? That’s a boy, not a man! There was no empathy for your hurt feelings. His actions do not show he loves you. Feelings of betrayal?! I would understand. This is so sad!! If this is how he feels now about a new wife, I’d hate to think what the rest of the marriage will be like. His family needs to know you heard too??

monicaaskew avatar
Monica Askew
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So you had to ask to go on a family trip with your husband and his family? Are they not your family as well? It sounds like he doesn't even like you. As your internet friend...LEAVE NOW!

tracysbot avatar
Tracy Lynn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Some things are unforgiveable. This is one of them. Even if you stick around for a while longer how can you ever forgive him or his mother for this. He is a terrible person and obviously his mother raised him to be exactly this way. You are NOT the crazy one here. I hope you dony waste any more time, energy or love on this undeserving person or his undeserving family.

dandenpo avatar
Denise Porter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Run , don't walk out of this horrible situation. He is a spoiled momies boy and puts his mother above you. If he won't stand up (if even to her) and make you feel belittled ,I'm sorry but you deserve way better. You'll always be 2nd guessed in this relationship.This should have been a family get together , your family. If you have to demand to be a part ,this isn't what message you want your children thinking is appropriate in any relationship. Red Flag.Thecmom has raised him to be unempathetic, narcissistic , and self absorbed. Unless that's how you really want to grow old and raise children ,I'd run as fast as possible. It will only get worse not better. He'll always blame you and be in denial because that's been acceptable . Your better than this and a good man won't put you through this kind of problems that causes insecurity. He and his feed off of that .Don't be their guinea pig or victim. You can't change someone's family and he just Proved you won't be his first priority so .Th

lorigarcia avatar
Lori Garcia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce him you serve better and a family and marriage that wants you in there life NO MATTER WHAT!!! Don’t waste your life on Pleasing him or his family!! He should of when defended you and said LOOK MOM SHE’S MY WIFE AND I’M TAKING HER ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE IN MY LIFE SO EITHER BE ON BOARD OR I’M GONE!! SHE IS APART OF ME NOW!!

vivianchapman avatar
Vivian Chapman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm still trying to process why a spouse wouldn't be invited on a family vacation? The fact she had to ask is a huge problem. The in-laws sound like a bunch of weirdos. Find a better family. You will be miserable with this man. And I would've done the same thing and left!

rochellehairston avatar
Rochelle Hairston
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How was she even eavesdropping? Clearly she could hear them while walking outside with the food? Should she have dropped it all to cover her ears? Should she have turned back around and waited out the gossip....about her? She definitely needed to leave, but I am not feeling her doubting herself for it. Either he gets his act together, apologizes to her, in front of his family, puts her first and keeps her there, or it's time for him to go. I mean, is THAT the behavior he learned from his dad???? I want to know.

oliviaweber avatar
Olivia Weber
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like she need to quietly make a trip to the divorce attorney office. Not sure if these signs were evident before but why marry someone you don’t like? He should have her back even when she’s not around with anyone. With a husband like that who needs enemies, your sleeping with 1 lol. Please leave so you can find someone that respects and values who you are and doesn’t look at you as a inconvenience, burden or with resentment because emotional and physical abuse is very much real & it’s headed down that path. I do not see this marriage lasting without some major war wounds.

ingridsampson avatar
Ingrid Sampson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's sad to see and hear our adults who have been through life and still not growing to a place of understanding and teaching and instilling good value and having good advise of truth it's disgusting to see how some never have wisdom since the adults are married themselves, should treat their sons wife with respect, and it will be returned but unfortunately they are all too selfish and think of themselves only not allowing anyone into their circle

julieboles avatar
Julie Boles
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. I can't believe what I just read She should have booked the flight home and went to see a lawyer and started divorce proceedings. He does not love her like a husband should.

lizratcliff18 avatar
Elizabeth Almaguer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Run for the hills girl, run. This guy obviously has no respect for you, or your marriage. Divorce him, and move on...there are so many guys out there that you could end up with that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

markelabanks avatar
Markela Banks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Since you haven't been married long you could probably get it annulled. If he don't take your feelings seriously, throw the whole Man away.

arikeeper avatar
Ari Keeper
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have to say, this is one the few aita I've read where I feel sincerely sad for her. That's awful 😖

lilmssunshine avatar
LilMsSunshine
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

GET OUT NOW!!! While you still have some sanity, if you stay, you’re going to lose your mind PERIODT.

kalliebarrett avatar
kallie barrett
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder how much money OP brought to the marriage. Awful husband sounds like he genuinely dislikes her.

haji81872 avatar
Chris Shaffer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How do you marry someone with so little knowledge of what they are like or with little understanding of his family. He is an a*****e, but that fact tou married him in the first place is troubling. BTW the shrinks advice is horrible. BYW2 Gaslighting is a term being thrown around way to casually.

randyperez avatar
Randy Perez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First, NTA... But I'm still debating on whether or not what she did was correct. Probably telling him to his face that she's leaving and then say he's being pushy, or ask if he has nowhere else better to be than bothering her if he tried to stop her. Then divorcing him. At the end of the day, you marry the man and the family and they clearly didn't like her. Even tho, we don't know from earlier interactions if she's left a sour taste in their mouths... Regardless, they should divorce instead of living a lie

sfvnative avatar
Carl Bailey
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I figured this was about race or religion or country of origin and he's trying to appease his prejudiced family.

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sakbrat avatar
Shea Keenan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get out! Get out with your dignity and self respect intact! These people are BAD! Go now!

lauracrandall avatar
Laura crandall
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have now seen what narcissist these people are. They have no regard., let alone love, for anyone outside of their little group. I hope you see what a dry lonely and unhappy life you will have with your husband who is quite likely a Mama's boy. So no matter how hard you try you will never be enough for them and they will continue to treat you like an ungrateful servant who has the audacity to expect to be treated like a member of the family. Abusive relationships often creep up on us as we make one concession after another and hardly notice how much of ourselves we have given up to make a relationship work. I hope you can find the strength to leave this family to find a real living, warm, loving husband who is not admiring his reflection in the mirror 24/7. You might be surprised that it will be a relief to get away from these fools. You may have a much better life ahead of you if you just realize you are enough.

sae84 avatar
Bored Retsuko
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry, either I'm having the déjà-vu of the century or this post is repeated from a couple of weeks ago!

chubbo_gore avatar
Becklass
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is 100% gaslighting. You caught him doing something awful (trash talking you with his Mum) and he twisted it to be your fault for “Eavesdropping”. This guy and his family sound toxic. Run my lovely, these people are incapable of changing and you’d spend your life hoping things will get better. I know because I stayed with someone like this for 24 years. Now I’m free and so so much happier.

janet-burnett88 avatar
Wyndmere
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he does not value, respect, and love her so that he is on her side first, and see the 2 of them as one, undivided unit, she is in for a lifetime of neglect, rejection, and abuse from him and his whole family. Get out of that relationship as fast as you can, before you believe all the bogus tripe they are dumping on you. You are worth so much more than this.

chemerson205 avatar
Christopher von Emerson-Schun
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it’s fair to say this whole trip started with’a red flag. You shouldn’t have had to ask your husband to go on a family vacation with him. It should really be expected especially with his siblings spouses going as well. I’m sorry but I don’t think this marriage can be repaired. Your husband doesn’t realize the lack of respect his family has for ‘him’ by allowing them to feel comfortable talking bad about you.

mshaurimazuri avatar
Mshauri Mazuri
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's toxic. Leave. No one ever has the right to make you feel bad about yourself. No one.

lisabenjamin avatar
Lisa Benjamin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce this a$$hole and his family, ASAP. The bigger question to me is what on earth did she see in him? There needs to be time for her to step back and get therapy and establish self esteem, self awareness, and what she is entitled to. Once she has that, she will understand that no one gets to decide how to treat her except her.

okidoll821_1 avatar
Stelley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You shouldn't have to ask to go on a family vacation. YOU'RE HIS WIFE. You should be included. Then for them to talk about her like that, and her husband joins in.Then he blames her. So cruel and awful. This should have never been this way. He is awful and his family is awful. It sounds like they've been doing it for awhile. Get away from him and his miserable family.

eleanor_halford avatar
Eleanor Halford
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Run far , far away and get a divorce , the blame is all theirs and you need to be doing things that make you happy. That family is really toxic, it's all about me ,me ,me , and to h**l with you . Get away and get yourself a better life !!!

annasen avatar
ANNA SEN
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m sorry but this is a massive wake up call that you shouldn’t be in this relationship. So sorry.

gabrielgawrada avatar
Gabriel Gawrada
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're the class act here; your response to the situation is top notch. You have, unfortunately, married into a family that doesn't deserve you, husband included. Decent people don't act this way.

amalialandicho avatar
Amalia Landicho
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave him. The in-laws being nasty is one thing but your husband? Nonononono! He doesn't have b@lls! Nobody deserves to be treated that way. And you deserve better. Remember you will spend your whole life with him and his family. You don't want to be in that sh*tty hole all your life. Leave while you still can. Once you find the right person who will treat you well, you will be happy you left him.

dragoncherie16 avatar
Alannah Rodriquez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really ? How immature can he get ? If he really didn't want her to come he should have just said no instead of trying to seem cool with it. ... And then there is the trash talking... Like really? He's the a** f*** him. Sounds like you don't need that kind of negativity and you deserve so much better!

kiankuchenbrod avatar
Kian Kuchenbrod
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i would never go ona trip with this a*****e or his family. Plus first thing u do when mom and dsd start talking about new wife/husband is to tell them to mind there own business unless there asked for an opinion. sorry to say but he cared more about taking care if his mom dad and siblings that his newish wife. sorry stupid mommys boys exist. good luck to you.

kiankuchenbrod avatar
Kian Kuchenbrod
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

wow the husbands a pussy for not telling him mommy to mind her own business and hes also abretard for coming home and blaming her. if u go on a vaca just to hear your loved one and there fsmily constantly talk s**t to you while they have fun and your treated like a maid i would have gone back home too. weather they were only married for a short period of time, regardless, kutos to the mommys boy neglect of his newish wife and his cunning stupidity to try to blame it on her when he got back about her eavesdropping, point is he was talkin s**t, saying or implyong disrespectful comments about her in the middle of a nice trip. id bever go on a vaca with this a*****e or his family.

letie0717 avatar
letie0717
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F that! First of all.. who asks her own husband if she could come along…. You pack your bags and you join, you don’t ask! Know your damn worth!!!!!!! I’m more mad at the author cause like…. This doesn’t make any sense… she gets pushed over cause she allows it… smh

adventuresofamalamal avatar
Adventures of Amal Amal
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My advice, LEAVE HIM. It'll not get better. Because he knows his parents doesn't like you at all it would give him the confidence to cheat on you. So why stay when you are unwanted. Don't wait for cheating to come. Because that's not the only bad thing he could do to you. I agree not all in-laws get along but it's the husbands job to defend his wife. If your husband cannot defend you and stop his family's evilness then there is no way you can entrust him with your entire years in this world. Don't wait for kids to come along. It would not be easy to leave him when there are kids involved it would be better to leave him now whilst you can still easily rebuild your life.

phebeharris avatar
Phebe Harris
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate to say it but he is using you. RUN!!! Before animosity set in, because you are going to be in for a ride. WOW!! He didn't even defend you, I'm so sorry.

terri_dailey avatar
Terri Dailey
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A married man who HAS to go on an annual family vacation, without you? Not only is the family very uncaring and rude to talk about you behind your back but for them to expect a married man to continue to go on annual vacations is a co-dependent.situation. You did nothing wrong!! You were totally disrespected by the man who’s supposed to be your “husband” and the people he grew up with. You need to pack up his stuff, put his stuff outside, change the locks on your doors and tell him to go back to his mommy. Get rid of this loser….he’ll never change & you’ll be unhappy forever.

fiverthedybbuk avatar
Fiver Martin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce him. And as someone in a long marriage who values the institution, I don't say that lightly. He can marry his mother.

johnathanmcfadden avatar
Johnathan McFadden
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA! I would have also had divorce paperwork on the table and I would have been moved out by the time he returned. Your husband should have your back 100% even to family.

cherylstrahm avatar
Cheryl Strahm
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have so many questions, such as why he married you! Run don't walk as fast as you can to a lawyer.

texunrose avatar
Lana Boussidan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Run, don't walk, to the nearest attorney. Take it from someone who has been through this, nothing will change. All of the others who have advised you to leave him are correct. Don't cling to the hope he will change. Ain't gonna happen, sweetie.

khamit avatar
Kim S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's something else going on here. I suspect there's a difference in culture, religion, or race.

kwpierce5 avatar
Calyx Teren
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy is the Duke of DARVO. Save yourself. This is your one precious life. Don’t spend it with someone who despises you.

reereek avatar
Shereé Knight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP needs to leave that marriage- ASAP. It sounds like you blackmailed him to get him to marry you, or you're the type of person who "never goes away"; Therefore, he felt obligated to marry you? Idk. But, he doesn't want to be with you. I felt that family Vaca is their way of protecting him and allowing him time to be with the one he loves. All spouses are invited except for you. Please take the hint. And stop watching their kids and 'waiting' on them like your waiter/chef, etc. To hell with that, however, if you continue to allow this behavior, then you'll always be treated like s**t.

tbrig avatar
333
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm really starting to get tired of these AITA posts where there is no way the OP doesn't know who the A-Hole is. Most are so glaringly obvious that either the OP is obviously making it up for the attention or they're the densest people on earth. People need to stop answering them like they really don't know when they obviously do. Stop enabling them.

ireneking avatar
Irene King
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes people can get so mentally damaged in a toxic relationship that they cannot see what is otherwise blatantly obvious. Posts like this are usually just seeking a confirmation of what they already know. Unless you’ve been in a narcissistic/gaslighting relationship, it’s easy to see who is or isn’t the ahole. OP doesn’t need criticism and shaming because she already has that going on in the spouse’s family. She needs confirmation of her feelings and that she is not the idiot that her “husband“ is trying to make of her.

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stefaniepatterson avatar
BluEyedSeoulite
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ESH. His family is 9/10 the problem, OP is 1/10. She could have brought it up directly to her husband before leaving. If he didn't back her up then, hell yes, get on that plane and start researching divorce lawyers, just in case

trishunt5038 avatar
Tris Hunt
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For some, it's not easy to confront anyone that is as bad as the husband and family. For others, easy. Even if she did, he probably would've yelled at her the same way he did when he got home. Divorce is definitely needed.

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suzycreamcheese avatar
Suzy Creamcheese
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I take anything that comes from Reddit with a large grain of salt, but assuming this story is true, OP should see a divorce lawyer ASAP.

n-tarunikasri avatar
girlsrock4ever
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So this lady cooked, cleaned, and looked after the kids, but she's an inconvenience? This marriage is an inconvenience to this lady. And trash-talking someone he CHOSE to marry? I think he didn't want to go against Mommy dearest, so he went along with it since she wasn't there. And now he's upset... DIVORCE HIM!!!!!!

raabh_ufes avatar
Raabh Aquino
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm Brazilian, and something that baffles me is how whan an American (sometimes European) a couple gets married and the spouse is still treated as a stranger by the other person's family. Seriously, unless we're talking about a very unpleaseant person, it's horrible to treat your son's or daughter's spouse like this. Oh, and when a couple gets married, the spouse becomes each other primary family by default. So this whole "family vacation" that excludes specifically one spouse is absolutely BS and OP did well ditching them. And the husband had the audacity to gaslight her... I hope she served him divorce papers. Edited for typos.

lytsedraak avatar
Lytse Draak
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The thing I don't understand is that the other spouses were invited, but not OP? Wtf?

suegendron avatar
mm65851
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How dare he & his dippy family turn this around on YOU. A simple "I'm not staying where I'm not wanted" might have shut them all up. You can't really argue with that. I'm not convinced they didn't really want you to hear the conversation. Who says stuff like that if there's any chance the person will hear? Or walk in on it at any moment? Geez.

paintergirl888 avatar
P.A.B.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are only TA if you stay in this marriage. I know leaving is easier said than done, but do you want to live the rest of your life this way? You are SO worth someone loving you 100%, unconditionally. Your present situation is toxic, love, and isn’t going to get any better. Sending you prayers. 👏🏾

nicolekosanke avatar
Nicole Kosanke
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't believe she even had to ask to join her husband on the family vacation! It should have just been a given.

oni219 avatar
Jesse Kyle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You shouldn't have been eavesdropping." YOU SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN TALKING C**P ABOUT YOUR WIFE!

melissajgunnels avatar
Melissa J
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is awful I feel bad for her. If he doesn't want his wife to go on "Family Vacations" then why did he get married? My husband and myself go on everywhere together because we want to. Ur wife is ur family and if he felt she was pushy why marry her? He should've apologized for what she overheard and take responsibility not blame her. He's definitely the AH.

lloydarold avatar
Lloyd Arold
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That definitely sounds like a toxic relationship if that's how someone talks about their partner behind their back. Especially when that was his reaction afterwards. It may be hard to break up a marriage so soon, but better now than staying with someone who doesn't seem to even like you or want you around.

hobbes_dogz avatar
Hobbes Dogz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. The husband and the whole family is seriously f-cked up. Who excludes a wife from a family vacation? She is family!

jastull444 avatar
Jamie Johnson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have done the same thing and just left. Why would you want to stick around where your not wanted or respected. My ex husband was a lying,cheating, wife beater that only got worse. It started out with things just like this and ended up with him beating me for finding out all the horrible things he said and did behind my back. Find a man that would defend you and fight for you to be around. His family shouldn't have to warm up to you while you are doing everything a good wife would do.

rhildamiller avatar
Rhilda Miller
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait, explain it to your children and get out! The gall of him,I guess he wants sex from you ? Well cut the sex off leave and take a vacation after you hand him divorce paper.. I have never heard of any like this before. UGLY PEOPLE!!! Shame

diannerueda avatar
Dianne Rueda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just hope she has the backbone to get rid of this ahole. He clearly doesn't even like her. Poor woman. I feel so sorry for her.

candiceshort87 avatar
Candice Blanton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is what happens when you marry a man who is emotionally and verbally abusive. He thinks youre trapped now because you're married. Leave him now. Get out before you get pregnant and he uses the baby as leverage to keep you down. Change the locks while he's gone one day. I've been here. It only gets worse.

montanathompsons avatar
Montana Thompsons
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

mogu_tou avatar
Not a robot
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's more to this story. I wonder how the OP had got along with the husband's family prior to getting married, how she knew that she had been labelled as "pushy" before etc

lunagrace avatar
Luna Grace
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was going through a lot over 5 years in marriage, After being told I wouldn’t be a mom. I was surprised with my miracle baby. With the help of dr agumba solutions home I'm so much excited and grateful.  Here is the email address to contact;       dragumbasolutioncenter@gmail.com

margaretdavidson avatar
Margaret Davidson
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I spent 45 years feeling that I was not good enough for my husband’s family or for him. I had already been groomed by some of my family and was ready to accept this behavior. It took several years and a recovery group to learn that their behavior was not okay. I will never allow anyone to undermine the person I am in Christ. I’m a child of the King!

rachelrichey avatar
Rachel Richey
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your husband's " family" is you..... his choices and his parents are abusive and you need out of this shocking situation.

jomallj avatar
j omallj
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bad husband, bad inlaws. Get out!! Believe me , you'll feel the knife get shoved into your back, eventually, it hurts!! You deserve a better relationship. Sounds like you married a mommy's boy who has a ring in his nose and treats you like a servant. Get some professional help because you deserve it and you deserve a husband that respects you.

loannikerris avatar
Loanni Kerris
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When your husband starts talking about a family vacation again, book yourself in a resort and have your own vacation. For at least a week.

ktkate06 avatar
BrokeDog
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A relationship will never last, if a spouses family hates the in-law! Get out while you can!

lanajenkins avatar
Lana Jenkins
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex in laws treated me the same. I overheard conversation about me and mil offering to send him back to college all expenses paid if he left me. I was 20 years old and living in another state without any family support. She actually grounded me from phone so I couldn't call my family. We lived with them for 6 months in the country. Was not allowed to drive to work had to walk down highway to get to work. After working all day asked husband to please pick me up, I waited for hours until my job was closing he never came. His parents said it wouldn't hurt me to walk home. My parents loved him. When I got home called my parents and my aunt and uncle came and got me. It lasted 2 years. Told my mom what was said she sided with ex in divorce.

bob-g-mccann avatar
SPQRBob
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For everyone who feels OP should divorce her husband (including me), please resist the Republican efforts to eliminate no-fault divorce.

havocr24 avatar
HavocR24
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

100% divorce his a*s. You're an inconvenience to him? He didn't want to take you on the vacation, while his brothers had their spouses there. Then also talks s**t about you behind your back. Bruh, I would've left him instantly, not just went home.

julianscherner avatar
Julian Scherner
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave the prick and while you're at it, superglue his d**k to his balls.

ivonash avatar
Ivona
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP forced her husband to invite her to his weekend with his family which is their family weekend. Her presence there wasn't welcome, and her stealthy departure created a very bad impression.

glenmacleod avatar
Glen MacLeod
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What kind of husband doesn't want his wife to get to know his family and why does his obviously inhospitable family have to get to know her at a certain pace? They have not been married long, but he's willing to go on a separate holiday with his family as though he'd never married. What a jerk. Divorce him, now. ASAP! Before you have children and never get rid of him.

perry_chamberlain avatar
Perry Chamberlain
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope she went to see an attorney when she got back and immediately filed for divorce. Then move out ASAP, AND GO NO CONTACT

snsaquarius avatar
Stefi Stoyanova
Community Member
8 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the b******e and his enablers of a family wanted a maid they should have hired one! Not have poor OP act as a free one while they talk s**t behind her back! OP, you won't be an a*****e only in one situation: leave the f*****g bastard and his equally gaslighting a*****e family and don't look back! Otherwise you'll be an a*****e to yourself and you can do better!

tiffanyann avatar
Tiffany Ann
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only thing she did wrong was not tell them to all F**k off before she left. What a bunch of a$$holes.

wendy_coronacastellanos avatar
Wendy Corona
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being married makes HER family. She should run and never look back!

sheedashaheen82 avatar
Rasheeda Pennybaker
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She couldn't do nothing else this weekend? She's better than me because I would have book me a ticket to the Bahamas or something and a hotel on him. Yup I'm doing something different having fun. Found me a new man while I was having fun. I'm just saying

theresazilska avatar
Theresa Zilska
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never make comments about things online but this one got to me & all i can say ( and more) is WOW what an a** your husband is & his fuc^## family, if his brother's wife's went you shouldn't have to ask if you could go it should just be a given that your going, it's a family vakay for fu$@* sake, * you are now family. I would of done the same thing you did, I think, I have a tendency to shoot off at the mouth, so I might have blown up on him & his family, good for you being the lady that you are & flew away. I sure as hell hope that him & his family read all these comments, maybe then they'll get a clue, good luck to you in whatever you decide, what is best for you.

itisdarkestbeforedawn78 avatar
Beck
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Give me a D! Give me an I! D-I-V-O-R-C-E what's that spell???

sanneelter avatar
Sanne Elter
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you are married to that guy it means you are a part of that family than too.....its disgustingbwhat THEY do in the first place......F**k them all,leave that guy because its never getting better.You will find a much better msn

amilahcrackcornandidontcare avatar
Amilah CrackcornandIdontcare
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most men dont love their wives, they only marry them for free domestic labor and sex. She should leave, but the likelihood she did is low. Women love to suffer at the hands of these bums

jillpatella avatar
Jill Patella
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't like to tell people to end a marriage lightly because I believe that marriage is work. You take the good with the bad and hopefully you are with the love of your life because I think everyone should experience that wonderful love! I was lucky enough to have it but I lost my husband young. I really don't know how I have survived this far but I met a guy about 5 years after my loss. I have never been more miserable in life. He sounds a lot like the guy in this story. He is a narcissist and trust me, I didn't know what one was until I researched his behavior. What this woman should have done after leaving was to file for divorce because it doesn't get better but it does get much worse! It literally takes everything out of you. I have been with the guy for 12 years. First I stayed because I was hoping he would change, he didn't. I'm in the process of getting out now and I will never date again! I am happy that I found the love of my life once and I'm not greedy.

maciejewskaanna avatar
Maciejewska Anna
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get divorce and stop wasting your life. I was with someone similar. You're his wife ffs, you shouldn't need to ask, he should have invited you first place because you are part of this family! Unfortunately! Since the day you got married, if his family invites his, they invite also you! Get the hell out of there before it gets worse.

sfvnative avatar
Carl Bailey
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think I see what's going on here: She's of a different race or religion than his family and they don't want her in their family. To keep peace in the family he feels he has to keep her home. He values his family so much that he may be starting to agree with them and may be slowly losing his love for her.

zhannag avatar
Groza
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To stay in this marriage would indicate having totally zero self-respect.

zhannag avatar
Janna Grigorieva
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To stay in this marriage would indicate having totally zero self respect.

chelaiditea avatar
Macrina Chelaidite
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't have responded to his text/any communication. And he wouldn't find me at home either. I never let anyone disrespect me twice. I would see a lawyer and start divorce ASAP. If there are no children you don't have to even see that 💩 again. These people don't deserve any time or energy.

spiceejade avatar
BeautifulDisaster
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You NEED to get out now.... PERIOD. If this is the first time you are hearing this kind of conversation from you husband all I can say is it is only the beginning of a very long deep hole filled with nothing but toxic gaslighting behavior to come. He WILL do things to hurt you and WILL always consider it your fault that you were hurt by his actions. Do you really want to live a life like that? Have respect for yourself and get away from those people. Trust me!! You will be much better off down the line.

evangeline_jernigans avatar
LargeMarge
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Either leave him now or end up on an episode of any murder show, just pick one.

sweettsblackcakes avatar
Sweetts Cakes
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know why but I think her looks may be an issue to the family maybe she is not conventionally attractive (or possibly overweight) and the family hates on her. She might be a great mom and wife but they are mistreating her for some reason and I do not think it's a good one.

ronrunamuk avatar
Ron runamuk
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Where I come from you take the brothers, sisters husbands & wives as a whole package, wether you like the in-law out-laws or not. With this kind of attitude the woman needs to move on, there is no waiting time to be accepted in a family, you are either in or out, she should move on & get away from these un-social misfits.

secondonlytome avatar
April Dancer
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please don't hang around to be gaslit any further. You will start to believe it and have years of misery in front of you. Get out now and consider yourself lucky that you haven't wasted any more of your life. Block all his nasty relatives from calling you and refuse ro speak to anyone but your lawyer. Sending you lots of supportive hugs.

faeryiis avatar
Lululoohoo
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if its not too late, get an annulment because this marriage is in the trash already. he sounds like a gaslighting son of a gun & has zero loyalty to his wife. His brothers spouses were there, but she wasn't and they will welcome her at their own timeline?? What in the actual F is that nonsense. Don't just book that flight and go home...pack his stuff and tell him to get the F out.

sachielk avatar
StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
9 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These posts rile me as you rarely know how it all pans out. it's like reading a book with the last chapter torn out. As for what is said so far, she should seriously consider the relationship. If she loves him and decides to stay, she could go off on holiday without him & never accompany him to his parents. But then what's the point of staying with such a d*ck? - unless she isn't in a financial position to divorce him. Again, who knows what happens next?

gregbaughman avatar
Greg Baughman
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Talk about your red flags.... Since when should a wife have to ask her husband if she can come along on a family vacation? I can't even imagine the husband not saying "We're a package deal". She needs to dump this loser, flip his family off, and find someone who will WANT to be with her.

zanebaker_1 avatar
Zane Baker
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your husband and his mother obviously have some sort of sick relationship going on.

woozycool avatar
woozycool
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know your heart just about shattered. BUT. Be happy to nip this in the bud, before babies get involved and things get complicated.

hialmondjoy avatar
Hi Almond Joy
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It would be different if it was just his 'girlfriend' and he didn't feel comfortable bringing her along yet and letting the family 'warm up', but that was his WIFE. SHE IS HIS FAMILY. It's f*****g hella odd for him to not want her to come along on a FAMILY VACATION.

michellemiller_3 avatar
Michelle Miller
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Girl, you are married that means YOU ARE HIS FAMILY NOW!!! Seriously listen to all these people and GET A DIVORCE!!! Anyone that treats you like this, ANYONE, is cruel and mean. Just move on please!!!

mbelmore10 avatar
Sister Mary Jane
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pack your bags. If this is how you're treated now it will only get worse.

jon_steensen avatar
Jon Steensen
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It migh be because I am from a really small country, where travelling between even the most distant corners can be done easily, but not getting to know your extended family very well before you get married sounds kind of wierd to me. As they would most likely end up playing a major part of your life, investing a bit of time into figuring out what kind of people you are dealing with sounds like the smart thing to do before you commit to them. Family hollidays can be a tough thing to deal with, as you will end up spending a lot of time toghether, and due to the fact that there is no gentle escape if conflicts arise between people. Sure they sound like horrible people to be around, and the way they treated her was beyond acceptable, but I think that she could have avoided a lot of this by doing her homework a bit better. For me it sounded like the marriage was rushed and she did not get to know her supposed partner well enough to discover his true self before it was too late.

lynnnoyes avatar
elfin
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You may have made your relationship with his family worse, but how is that a bad thing? It was already horrible and it extended to your husband himself. It's your wake-up call. Since you haven't been married long and (perhaps) have no children yet, it's a good time to consider whether you want to continue with this marriage. You could do much better. Find someone who values and respects you.

sexychick4421475_1 avatar
Claire Armstrong
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I think that I might have messed this up and somewhat ruined it for them as well" - this makes me really sad. And angry! The whole thing does but just that one sentence is the worst thing about it for me! He has her conditioned so that she believes that she is the one in the wrong! She needs to get out of that relationship NOW before things get any worse because, rest assured, they definitely will! I really hope she leaves. I would love an update on this.

stevewhite_1 avatar
DCwuk
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kick him in to touch, there are plenty of decent men around

stephanieconley_1 avatar
Stephanie Conley
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's married to a narcissist is what I hear. If he talks like that about her now there's no telling what he will be saying later. Nothing good. He's just going to make her feel like a burden and maybe worse and that sort of thing sticks with a person even after they aren't together anymore. It really damages your self esteem and makes you lose any sense of self worth you might have had..

bemagikal avatar
Be Magikal
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband is from an enmeshed family, they don’t consider spouses part of the family. They pretended to like and include me until we were married. Over time I saw they treated all the in-laws that way, anyone not blood.

nellallama avatar
Lesley Allen
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd not only have quietly flown home, but I'd have called the airline and cancelled HIS ticket home!

bnicole603 avatar
Brianne Nevrotski
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My heart breaks for the OP and I hope she gives/gave an update in the comments below about how she left that POS and is now living her best life! Even if kids are involved you can & will still 100% live your best life without him in the picture!!

chrisfischer avatar
Maudelin
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is what happens when you marry someone you don't know just for the sake of being married. You are married, you should have automatically been included in a family vacation. Divorce immediately or be emotionally and mentally abused for the rest of your life.

olavarria_carla avatar
Carla Olavarría
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get the dystopic film vibe here please run! Run fast and run away!

writevalda avatar
ValdaDeDieu
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

GET. A. DIVORCE. Do it now. It's not going to get any better. You know how you know? They're comfortable and happy in treating you like garbage -- and your "husband" is too... They do not deserve to be around the air you breathe. You're worth more than ten of them put together. So... GET A DIVORCE.

mbelmore10 avatar
Sister Mary Jane
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please find a good divorce atty. This marriage will not last if he and his family treat you like a 2nd class citizen. You're better than that.

mitcheldyck avatar
Mitchel Dyck
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dr Benjamin the great lottery spell caster helped me win lottery by giving me the lottery numbers and I won, he can help you too. email him drbenjaminlottospell711@gmail.com

leonardlinton avatar
Leonard Linton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s an honor  to share this testimony to the world. Dr Benjamin you're a blessing to our generation. I have always desired to win lottery some day, at some point I thought it was something impossible, until I came across series of testimonies on how had helped a lot of people win lottery, at first I was so skeptical about it because I haven't seen a things as such in my life, at a second thought I decided to give it a try so I emailled him via his person email, he replied me and instructed me on what to do, after 24 hours he gave me some numbers and I won $2 million just like that. Dr Bejamin I owe everything for making me the man that I am right. If you need his help below is his contact information, he can help too Email: drbenjaminlottospell711@gmail.com Whatsapp:+17066036031

leonardlinton avatar
Leonard Linton
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

vickicunningham avatar
Vicki Cunningham
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Run, run as fast as you can! This can never be repaired. He will never be on your side, not ever! Been there, trust me.

macforme17 avatar
Lindy Mac
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The absolute best advice in this was DON'T HAVE KIDS with this man.... the second best advice is GTFO of that marriage. Third best advice... get to know a potential partner' s family before you get too involved. The order is based on the fact that she already married the bum.

tshae44 avatar
Shannon Carman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And she whispered "AquaTofana” as she served them that salad. And made some S O U P ... If you know, you know. LOL.

ria144 avatar
Krysta Pandoo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know, the 'pushy' remark is bugging me. Is she an awful person and doesn't realise it? Why would other wives be invited but specifically not you. I feel like there's more to this. Maybe she is bloody hell to be around and doesn't know it.

silkydeathkitten avatar
Jennifer Holmgren
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Firstly, am i the only one who thinks it's super weird she wasn't invited in the first place? No one should have to ask to be included in a trip with their spouse and family. All i can say is lucky to figure out early what you're dealing with. It took me 8 years of mind games and gas lighting to finally decide to stop allowing myself to be abused further. As far as people changing? Yeah it's possible. My packing up and moving from the east coast to the west was kind of a major eye opener for him, to the point her finally got help, and flat out admitted he used to make me feel crazy so he could get his way. No one should ever feel unwanted or unloved, and if someone make you feel like that, GTFO before making major commitments.

glennfink avatar
glenn fink
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this guy needs to disappear in her rear view mirror for good

jdtimid123 avatar
jdtimid123
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have been upset from the part part where "he was hesitant but agreed." My husband wouldn't even consider making me stay home while he went on vacation. And neither would I. Even before we got married and we're just living together. He doesn't get to go on trips very often because of his work schedule (I take regular drives up to see my parents where they live), but when he's off I'm always excited to have him be able to spend time getting to know my family.

alya_2 avatar
Alya
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How you gonna marry someone and not want to be with them? Was the mom allowed to bring her husband? Why?? They're just married. This would be messed up if she was just his girlfriend, but more understandable. But they're straight up married.

alya_2 avatar
Alya
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I try to tone down my advocacy for divorce bc sometimes I jump to it too fast, but this is early on in the relationship and he already seems sick of her? And then doesn't at all care about how hurt she would feel from being unwanted and badmouthed? That red flag has sirens blaring with it

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judyr8 avatar
Judy Riley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave. He doesn't see you as anything more than a servant! Leave before he starts beating you for having an opinion

honeyk avatar
honeyk
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why isn't the wife even invited without having to ask if she can join the family? she's married to the guy... she ought to be considered family. she's in a toxic relationship with her husband and his family... married a short time? Perfect!!! get it annulled and put the sickening experience behind you... i can tell you it is not going to get better. you've already taught him how he is allowed to treat you... like you mean nothing to that family or him. or you're a secret they don't want to know about. get out and fast! poor girl.

ellia-fletcher avatar
SweetBananaHeartz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nta, there’s a thing called no “husband” maybe it would hurt a little but still not as much as you gossiping about her

beberhinehart avatar
BeBe Rhinehart
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No. NTA. Run while you can. Those people are _not_ nice folks and if they treat you like this now, your future looks like you're the "hired help" instead of "family". Just....damn! They're all AH's and they're usung you, particularly _him_!

mackenzie-judd-2001 avatar
Mackenzie Judd
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave. Immediately. Or yesterday. Humongous red flag🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 The guys a complete asswhipe, and there is definitely something wrong if he goes on 'vacation' with his 'family' without you. Unless you have to work or something like that

teresadruer avatar
Teresa Druer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are going to suffer narcissistic abuse with this guy hes obv a narcissist .... and his mom is too prolly ... get out while u can...dont get stuck like me

williamjdougherty avatar
William J Dougherty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get out of that marriage. It’s not a relationship and will only get worse. He needs a zombie to blindly follow orders. Get away.

triciag avatar
Tricia G
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's lucky I'm not his wife if he thinks she acted childish. I would have made the biggest scene they ever saw. At the very least, they'd all be wearing the salad! I sure hope she leaves him!

ngaiacobb avatar
Ngaia Cobb
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First off...if it's a family trip & other spouses went. You shouldn't have had to ask to go. 2nd...your husband sounds like a straight mom's boy. I think you should really think about the future of your marriage & I definitely wouldn't be considering kids at this point. It sounds like a cult.

davcarro-ripalda avatar
Dav Carro-Ripalda
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the rest of the brothers are allowed to bring spouses, but your husband not only not allowed but did not want to bring you with him? I am sorry, but that does not sound like he appreciates you or your company much. I would feel angry, rather then guilty.

danielledavis_2 avatar
Danielle Davis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your husband is a narcissist and it's obviously genetic. You should have been welcomed on those trips by his family when you were seriously dating or engaged, why tf does he go on vacation with his family without you when the other spouses/kids are there? That's just cruel. If you're already seeing a counselor, they're not doing their job. Get one that knows about abusive narcissistic relationships (and then if he insists on marriage counseling it gives a professional a rare whack at him and possibly gives your divorce lawyer a diagnosis to work with), get a divorce lawyer that knows about narcissists, and don't let this guy gaslight you any more than he already has. In fact, move out ASAP and go no-contact because (as you know) arguments only go in circles and you can't win. If you feel unsafe leaving, reach out to a trusted friend and local resources for abuse survivors that can help you.

ljbsullivan avatar
Linda Sullivan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is early on in your marriage? I'd think your spouse would be happy and proud to have you there. Shame on MIL and especially shame on spouse for not sticking up for you. I think you really need to reconsider staying in this marriage, this will never feel better. Now that you've run away they will expect you to leave when the going doesn't please you and may alway make it uncomfortable for you. If you have children you will be usurped they know best. And having a spouse who doesn't stand up for you will always make you feel alienated and alone.

cmkar avatar
CM Kar
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As his WIFE, she should have never been excluded from this vacation, and her disgusting, pathetic excuse of a husband should have never tolerated it. Sounds to me like the cord was never cut. He obviously never grew up. Man up and grow up, dude!

helencruise avatar
Helen cruise
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I too feel psychologically trapped in my marriage with a narcissist

williamsmith_8 avatar
William Smith
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's got to be more to this beyond "my husband's family are meanies to me." Maybe there's something about her they don't like? She's already shown to be really pushy; I've been around people like that and they end up obnoxious after five seconds. If the way she writes in these in posts is any guide she comes off as really self-centered, too; possibly a people-pleaser who tries too hard to be noticed.

libby6 avatar
Stargazer66
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ya shoulda changed the locks before he got home. Kick him to the curb and tell him to go back home to mommy and daddy and file for divorce now.

angelmist avatar
Angel Mist
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get out now while you still have some self respect and independence left. If you give him long enough he'll take all of it away.

sakurachan0486 avatar
Nenna Olumba
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There’s enough gaslight here to keep UK heated for the next 3 years. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩!!

dolly_ofthecowboy avatar
Dolly_of TheCowboy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do I get the feeling that there are class/caste/colour issues here and that the wife being ostracised is from a different background to the husband and his family? It seems like she was tolerable enough ( because of ?her personal wealth or her family has money/wealth he wanted access to) but either that has not been handed over as his family planned or they want more but the lemon is out of juice so now she can just be "the help" that he gets to bang

haroldramesy avatar
Harold Ramesy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Understanding Is Key In Solving Any & All Situationz.“Us” We“Our” Earth Rotatez From Communication. Step True Speak Truth Tomorrowz Due Also Come True.Whether Married Or Merged Into 1Love The Queen Bringz Peace & Love.The King Bringz Protection & Honor. My Better My Rib My Peace Is A Mirror Of Me. Shez Everything I’m Not & All That I Am. #FollowNoSuitz. No Chaoz Nor Violence Or Disrespect In Any Manner Should Become Non Or Be A Vent 4 Feelingz.. (Each 1 Teach 1) Find Wat You Seek, Producer Not Product/ Creator Not Consumer. SELF: Startz Eternally Lifez Foundation. Never Let The World Change Ur Heart Make Ur Heart Change The World. #Truly

evelyn_haskins_7 avatar
Evelyn Haskins
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get out of it, as soon as possible, Like Yesterday! That sort of male human and that sort of family never get better!

barbaraweisenburg avatar
Barbara Weisenburg
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would you continue to live with this man who has NO respect for you as his 'wife'? Divorce him ASAP!

luisgomez avatar
Luis Gomez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids are first, then it's spouse, then it's parents and siblings, then is everyone else. In that order.

williammclaurin avatar
William Mclaurin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave that POS and find someone who REALLY wants to share you with their family.

laina_alice avatar
Laina Alice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had a somewhat similar situation when I was married. BFF had a baby while pregnancy-challenged BIL and SIL were visiting. Came in excited about being an “aunt” but did not gush or carry on. Next day was family trip that I was told I wasn’t invited to as SIL was “upset” about my news and felt “uncomfortable “ with me being around. Loser ex didn’t say a word in my defense, took the kids, and went without me. That was the beginning of the end of that relationship! OP needs to seriously reconsider her marriage to this waste of protoplasm, cuz it isn’t gonna get better, only worse!

kat_11 avatar
Kat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Look, I suppose I need to let you know, dear writer, that the saying isn’t “all evidence to the country” the saying is “all evidence to the contrary”

kristenc avatar
Kristen C
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh she needs to run and fast. I would have left also. I felt sick to my stomach reading this. What a NARC!

lyricsmoothe avatar
Lyric Smoothe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First, take a moment to make sure you are okay. Step back from this situation and focus on your peace for one day or two. You need to think about this from a calm and unblurred view. You married the wrong man. We need to see red flags for what they are....teachers. it helps us not make the same mistakes. This man does not love or respect you. The tone of your self worth is set by you. How you value yourself will be how you order your next steps. Too often people write for advice and never take it. This one is plainly obvious. He is obviously comfortable with treating you like this because you allowed him to. If you are seeking validation and solace from strangers then you know the situation is bad. It is time you leave before hostility turns physical. If you don't respect yourself how can you expect him to do so. You might have been a victim initially but this isn't about fault it's about decisions. When you left the vacation you should have continued leaving but you did not. Let it go

olgag avatar
OG
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, come on, your Bible says "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." Genesis 2:24 etc. Run from this family, gurl.

olgag avatar
OG
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Come on, your Bible said, Genesis 2:24 etc, "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."

josepheichhorn avatar
Joseph Eichhorn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a horrible way to treat your wife. What a jerk! I don't blame her for leaving.

h_siniaho avatar
Hannah
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

HUGE GIGANTIC HORRIBLE RED FLAG!! LEAVE HIM LEAVE HIM LEAVE HIM!!!

googleuser_4 avatar
Google user
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I think.. The OP is downplaying how pushy she really is ; for an entire family to not want her around; in fear of ruining their family gatherings that have been happening a lot longer than she was in the picture...Entire families do not shun spouses typically, unless they are coming across as abnoxious to everyone..

dgirezha avatar
Dadirai Girezha
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never be with people who don't love and appreciate you for who u are.Its not about you but about them.u are in bad company. But l think it's by choice. This may not the first time u saw this and u ignored the red flags. Don't let these miserable people hurt u.

karolchciski avatar
Karol Chęciński
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave him right now. He is on for making you feel miserable many times still, even if unintentionally.

lynotto avatar
Lyn Otto
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it’s crazy,can’t believe it yes she needs to leave

lizratcliff18 avatar
Elizabeth Almaguer
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

kathrynphillips avatar
Kathryn Phillips
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have sometimes thought people divorce way too quickly. Now I don't know the dynamics and I'm only going on what I've read, but not what wasn't mentioned. I would be curious to know how were things between the two generally? When the two got engaged how was she treated? When they got married were the relatives kind to her? So, did red flags pop up, but were ignored. When she looked back things didn't add up. Was the reality a total shock coming out of left field. Did she really push too hard and was never aware of it? God knows I never want to walk up on someone talking about me. So after considering all of these possibilities if she was really truly unaware of these situation and there was never any red flags she should divorce him. He is more embarrassed than anything. The family will never forget this. I just don't see he loves her enough to stay. Go find someone else then.

cary1029 avatar
Caryle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah it sounds like a terrible relationship but could responders please stop saying hubby it’s a revolting word

wmdkitty avatar
Shawna Burt
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

IDK. I think ESH. Obviously Hubs and MIL suck for talking shirt about OP. But OP absolutely was listening on the conversation (eavesdropping) and deserves a little bit of flak for that.

epectasis avatar
Jos Tiguidou
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can't imagine that this is even close to real. 1) Married but barely knows the fam 2) Has kids but those kids weren't invited either Some folks have nothing better to do with their time I guess.

johnnyrandall1989 avatar
Johnny Randall
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like how people don't even know the full story yet are jumping on the woman's side automatically based on what SHE says. How do we know she's not a terrible person and that's she's given them a bad impression of her? She says they were only married a short time but doesn't say exactly how long. Why even bring up the other wives as if that is relevant? Maybe they have been married longer and are actually likeable people.

tamdan25 avatar
Words for wisdom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If this is someone that you really want to stay with, then inform him that you didn't appreciate him not standing up for you. Make him see and feel how you felt at that moment and no matter what don't back down. Inform him that if he doesn't have your back in this marriage then how are you all supposed to grow together. Stand your ground and every time that he tries to defend the situation at hand with his family just repeat but I'm your wife and I am your family. If things doesn't change within a certain amount of time and we're not talking about weeks, then I would reiterate again that you are his wife. I would even possibly consider that you both go seek a marriage counselor.

loribreen37 avatar
Lori Harper
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If any of y'all watch I Love A Mama's Boy on Discover, this sounds exactly like Matt and his mom Kelly! There HAD to be red flags flying all over the place BEFORE she married this "prize". Not blaming her, but the rose-colored glasses of young love will do that to you (experience, here) NTA And throw the whole man and his cray-cray family OUT!

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Nevada Soto
Community Member
1 year ago

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Lauren Lail
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a kinda odd and I feel like we are only getting 5% of this big long drama infested story from the OP's side and a entire chunk is being left out. It just doesn't make sense at all. I'm left with more questions than answers. So many people so quickly recommend divorce and make the husband & his family look like the villain but I'm having a very hard time believing the "wife" is the actual victim here and more the problem. That's just me though because if you're going to reddit for marriage advice with a very small portion of a huge problem...you're playing a victim looking for validation because you're probably causing more problems than trying to find a solution. Let's pull up our big girl panties and act like women! Not teenagers making everyone pick a side! OP sounds moore like the wife that wants her husband to pick her our his family. That's not right. OP is the red flag and I can't believe most women on here can't see that. I literally saw right through her reddit post.

fila11 avatar
Pete Roz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

as BILL BURR once said -> but what has lead to such situation? we don't know what happened before, why they behave towards her like that... all I know is "the coin always has two sides" and we learned about one side only... and ofc it will look bad... it's supposed to look bad on husband's family... women are great manipulators, when they need to 🤷🏻‍♂️ idk, just saying... it's easy to judge and jump to conclusions, but what do we know? the picture is unveiled... maybe we know only 15 or 50% of it, yet everyone is a perfectly informed judge on this... yeah is it the same way you judged c19 or ukraine-russia situation? 🤦‍♂️ you behave in the similar manner as people who judged certain man called Jesus... 🤔😔

josegljr avatar
josegljr
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she is the bad one. Hear me out, leaving without saying anything is just as bad as them not wanting you. I know not being wanted somewhere is a horrible feeling. But you should have said bye to someone. There couldn't all have not wanted you there. It was a family reunion. Are you not family. Say by to a sister in law or one of their spouses. Anyone... Your problem was the mother and the son. The son is going to be a lot like the mother if they are bad mouthing you like that. So don't say bye to them but the father or someone else there had to have been feeling the same way when they joined the family. You just didn't care and wanted to play victim. To be bigger then those that treat you badly you must turn the other cheek. Suck it up and never go again or leave but say goodbye. You where let into the house at least. Show them more respect than they did you.

iikenze_1 avatar
Ibbie Ikenzebates
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't believe all the careless people advocating divorce. There are two sides to every story people! Grow up!

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Cathy Hughes
Community Member
1 year ago

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If you have to ask if you’re the AH then you already know. You’re just venting and will never leave. 5 years from now you will be 3 kids in, still disrespected by him and his family and being treated like c**p in general. And you will still stay. Take a serious look at your future and stop letting him make decisions about your happiness. Stop voluntarily being their doormat. Find your courage and self respect and get the hell out of there.

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Debrina Blackmoon
Community Member
1 year ago

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SHITPILE BITCHFUNGUS VILE TRAGIC ACCIDENT DISGUSTING PISSANT IMMATURE BULLY DICKWEED LOSER PSYCHO ASSHOLECURSE FUCKTARD EVIL CUNTVIRUS WASTES OF ATOMS+!!!

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j T
Community Member
1 year ago

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Females chose to put themselves in these situations because it gives them an excuse to play victim and society will eat it up without seeing the big picture of how it's was her choice and the man was like that before she married him..they do anything and everything to get attention and there is no limit or line they will cross to get it.. Any excuse to feign victim hood while being a typical modern female and not be held accountable for her actions or take responsibility for her life choices

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Emanuel Iordache
Community Member
1 year ago

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😂 😂 😂 😂 Oh it is the husband's fault. 😂 😂 😂 Another story where a womem takes no accountability for her actions. 😂 😂 😂

tamrastiffler avatar
Tamra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're pathetic. If course it's the husband's fault. He was in the wrong 100%. She took accountability by leaving. Try a little harder to not be so sexist.

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Sunny Skies
Community Member
1 year ago

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But, why is it okay to invite yourself along to something you're clearly not invited to? Had she given her partner the space to have his own relationship with his family, this never would have happened. ESH.

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lazypanda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what?! there were other spouses there! and also, she's his wife not his two week long girlfriend! it shouldn't feel like a burden to him to invite his wife to a family gathering!

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Dee Tag
Community Member
1 year ago

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I get the feeling she is black and his family are not. Can't understand why she would have to invite herself to a family gathering.

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Luke Rodrigues
Community Member
1 year ago

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Ya know who the real a*****e is? Every person on this page who is screaming for a divorce. What this marriage is in need of is intervention, not divorce. Everyone who witnessed the confirmation of their union needs to step in and uphold their oath to support these two in times of difficulty. Only a juvenile idiot would call for a divorce after reading something like this. It's pathetic.

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ItsJess
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is absolutely horrible, I don't take divorce lightly, but it sounds like this ahole takes his wife too lightly. What did he even marry her for? To cook, clean, and look after the kids apparently since she felt the need to do that on a vacation for everyone.

tncech avatar
Rhyme Like A Lime
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree, I recommend divorce only be an option when it's gotten fairly bad, but at this point she's basically his maid, not his wife. She needs to leave before she gets tied down with children

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Dumpsterbaby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F-&k him and the horse he rode in on. You don't need that. Get out, it's only going to get worse.

playswithpigs avatar
Lisa Stephens
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly now what did the poor horse do. Just an innocent bystander from my perspective. 😁

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Deborah Harris
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just leave him, what a total a*s hole he and his Mother is, how awful.

alalex avatar
AL ALEX
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Should have never asked if you could go on vacay with this CREEP, and I'm sure this wasn't the first Red Flag, pack up and vacate the premises, Honestly Right --

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B-b-bird
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd step in with a salad and say "oh, so i'm not welcome in this family? Sorry for marrying your son, we can fix this mistake. Please enjoy your salad" and theeen i'd book a ticket... to divorced festival. Believe or not, this brief conversation was major big flag which will never ever go away.

kristina_him75 avatar
Kristina H.N.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly right. The family might not feel comfy with her yet since they don't know her well, but they're not even trying to get to know her and showing 0 decency. Strangers end up chatting for hours, what they do is choose to exclude her.

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Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why stop running when she got home? Pack up, keep going, leave a note: "You don't want me around. Wish granted! Talk to my lawyer if you need to know where the clean laundry is." Is that b*tchy? Well, a lot less so than "Ugh, I married this pushy domestic slave who thinks she belongs in this family."

regchildcare avatar
Mary Landry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your young please don't give another minute of your life to this marriage though there will be many tears many sleepless nights you don't want to be me. I always did the dishes cleaning etc at every function while they laughed and fun. I did this fir 30 years and them realized I wanted a better spouse . So many years lost can't get them back I hope you move on from him and find someone who adores you. It's hard but worth it please don't lose who u are and please leave him.

dld57 avatar
KiT
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh I'd have revealed my presence so they knew I'd heard them. And then left.

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Leonard Linton
Community Member
1 year ago

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Evelyn Chambers
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sweetie you need to dump that a*****e. He also didn't want you to come with them and no you were not eavesdropping, you happen to hear his f****d up family and your HUSBAND talking about you while bringing them a salad you made. Yeah they were upset you left because you were their babysitter, cook, and maid. Your husband should have defended you with his family, instead he didn't he just joined in with them. He turning everything around to make it your fault, don't take that s**t from him, his family should have welcome you with open arms. LEAVE

cateperez avatar
Cate Perez
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex's family pulled the eavesdropping manipulation on me when I was with him at their beach house. It was really obvious I was around the corner because I had announced my presence. The door was cracked and his mom and sis were loudly talking s**t about me. He didn't stand up for me either. F**k them though. They were miserable harpies and he's a waste of a man. If you can call him that.

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Hoodoo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I see- the old " How dare you bleed after I socked you in the face" routine..gaslighting 101. Run, don't walk to an attorney's office & secure your assets b4 wasting more time on this turd hunt. I had a similar thing happen to me- I went into the garage( door closed) & overheard m' husband hosing me to the neighbour- it actually validated what I knew in m' gut. I moved out days later & it was an incredible relief actually. I hope OP does the same.

robertlongwill avatar
Robert Longwill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Op you need a new husband. He is toxic and abusive towards you if you don't understand that. Maybe you should divorce this idiot. And maybe look for a good man who you deserve. Someone like me maybe. LOL

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Frank Bernard
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

DIVORCE!!! Very FIRST paragraph tells it all…. You had to ASK if you could come along!!! Yer dude thinks if you as a cook/maid/chauffeur/nanny/baby momma Not as a wife soulmate partner lover best friend F him and his famiy This is way worse than toxic… It’s RADIOACTIVE

sandyd avatar
Sandy D
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She was right to leave an should divorce the jerk. Who doesn't bring spouse on family vacation? At least she found out how sh*tty his family and her husband really sre

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Skeeter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I overheard my MIL say "...did she really have nowhere else to spend the weekend?". and my husband says "I KNOW!!!! And I didn't want to bring her with me but what was I supposed to do?!!! OP, keep running this thru your head if you think for a minute that you should stay in this marriage.

caseymcalister avatar
Casey McAlister
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh no, they were disappointed that you didn't react well to them trash talking you behind your back! What a shame! Telling you to your face that they don't want you there would be rude, but at least it would be honest, but this duplicity is absolutely despicable.

klorinczi avatar
Klara Lorinczi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s hard to do but you need to divorce him - he’s a loser! He’s disrespectful and a mommas boy. Find yourself a real man.

keitho avatar
Keith O
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce him. No woman, man, person, etc should ever be subjected to open and purposefully exclude you, the woman MARRIED into the family. That is insane to me. You should have always been invited and the fact that your husband didn't want you to come say A LOT. Move on sweet girl and find someone who really appreciates you.

jennifercbowen avatar
Suzie
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's actually standing there talking about how she disappointed his family and left a bad impression? I'd have told him that's fine because it will match the disappointment I feel and bad impression they gave me. What a putz.

ordinaryman008 avatar
Ordinary Man
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He says give them time to warm up but doesn't include you in family events. Don't bother to divorce him. Make him do all the work and hold out for a good settlement. Don't cheat on him but start living your on life. Don't cook. Don't clean up after him, Don't wash his clothes, and Don't argue. Kill him with kindness so he can't blame you in divorce court. Don't socialize with his family. For what its worth I'm a man and you deserve better. His family will never change and he will never stand up for you. And get your own bank account and put your money in it.

levinessadam avatar
Adam Leviness
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, I'm sorry because I get what you're saying and on paper it might even sound like a good idea. But, this dude is clearly manipulative and an abuser. If he feels this little about his wife when she's being a dutiful wife then he will most likely become abusive physically when she starts standing up for herself. He's breaking her down making her feel terrible about herself and acting as if she is in the wrong by gaslighting her. So far, that's all he's needed. But, once she gets fed up and starts standing up for herself or starts pointing out his flaws or making him feel like less of a man he will hit her to feel superior. I lived through this as a kid with my mom and step dad. She is lucky enough, hopefully, to see the truth now and hear from these people online giving her support and recognition and hopefully she runs fast and far away as quickly as she can before he breaks her or worse, kills her.

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The Other Guest
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How dare OP, a member of the family, want to be included in a family vacation. Next thing you know, she'll be expecting them to be nice to her.

amandamacdonald avatar
jijithecat avatar
Jiji The Cat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

apologies, hope you find a better and less toxic relationship, we’re here for you.

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CatWoman312
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have gone back to the table and said I'm sorry to be such an inconvenience to everyone and then went home. I would have let it be known that I know so they can feel like assholes first.

kwpierce5 avatar
Calyx Teren
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hear you, but quietly disappearing is fantastic. I love it. I also think that when he got home she should have refused to discuss it. The only person she talks to for non-transactional matters from now on should be her lawyer.

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Paula Wynn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I heard what they were saying, I would have put the fruit salad on the table and said, "I'm sorry for ruining your family trip. I thought when we got married that I became a part of this family. Enjoy the fruit salad." Make them feel like the a$$holes they are! BTW, don't think having kids with this jerk will make things better. Get away from this tool and go find a man who treats you the way a man SHOULD treat his wife! He IS out there waiting for you!!!

lramsdell avatar
Lorraine R
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And if he isn't don't worry about it. You're better off on your own than with a POS like this guy.

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Tracy Rowe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have to wonder if OP's husband has actually been gaslighting his family too. He sounds like a narcissist. He may have been telling his family that she was a horrible wife and complaining about her to them to make her look bad and like he's a victim. Sounds like he's not only gaslighting her, he's trying to isolate her. That's a HUGE red flag

chemerson205 avatar
Christopher von Emerson-Schun
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yea he’s a total snake. I think ur right cause it sounds like his mom is saying “is it true ……” like he’s spreading lies. I’m sure there’s some past issues we’re not being told. Like why she wouldn’t be asked to go on a vacation in the first place but still nobody deserves this c**p. I don’t care if she was eavesdropping, spying or whatever. Your spouse shouldn’t talk shjt about u like that and if they do, divorce their a*s!

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ranger9 avatar
Cory Wilson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Leave. Now. Before it's too late. I have lived where you are headed for 37 years. Run. Now.

cari_mcfar avatar
Carissa McFarland
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a family vacation. You're married and a part of the family. Please GTFO that relationship ASAP. You deserve so much better. Your significant other should never say anything like that behind your back. I admit I get annoyed with my spouse when we go out, but he's always welcome to tag along no matter how much he might get on my nerves at certain things. (He's not a social person).

blouise002 avatar
MsLou
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

AITA posts like hers scare me that there are people like her husband out there like that...being gaslit is a terrible TERRIBLE feeling and I hope she's ok

loannikerris avatar
Loanni Kerris
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And, being gaslit is easier than you think. In a relationship there are emotions involved, and that makes everyone vulnerable for such a s..t

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amg avatar
AMG
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm more concerned about your self-esteem and psychological makeup, when u said u cooked, cleaned, and took care of the children...???!? Then now that everyone is settled, and waiting on the fruit salad, they wondered why u couldn't stay elsewhere??? Who the hell raised and damaged you? Why was he even able to contact you at all after that vampire family meeting? Where is your wing person, who would have helped you navigate the clusterf__k your life seems to be, with this cretin you are married to?? Harsh??? YES!!! WAKE UP!!! I am so angry at this I feel triggered and I'm going to figure that out... In the mean time RUN, NOW, and think about why later!! Good Luck🤯

janetpattison avatar
Janet Pattison
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly what i thought. But i got married into a similar family when I was 18. I was so naive and my husband was a mama's boy. My MIL couldn't stand me & was probably thrilled when We divorced. I wasn't part of their cultural group.

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Erik Ivan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you go into a relationship, it's you and your spouce. That relationship is first priority. You become the family, and your parents, sibblings etcetera has to take a back seat. That means if one are invited for a family gathering, both are invited. And it is up to you, as a couple, to prioritice your relationship.

kayrose avatar
RoanTheMad
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like getting to know your partners family and warming up to one another should be a requirement BEFORE getting married, surely? (except in cases where both sides hate the family and are content to cut them out of their lives) Husband is an a*****e, his family are assholes, Op needs to drop him and move on with her life and be with someone who appreciates her.

christiennewbury avatar
Christien Newbury
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Was this an arranged marriage by any chance? Because your husband doesn't love you. I mean does he even like you? He certainly doesn't KNOW you. You need to seriously rethink if you can live the rest of your life like this. I wouldn't even bother to try and make it work. Just end it and find someone who loves and appreciates you, despite his extended family.

janetpattison avatar
Janet Pattison
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well said...This guy, the husband & his family are seriously damaged & way, way way beyond fixing. The OP needs to rescue herself!

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Sabrina Messenger
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too bad she didn't see that husband and MILs true colors before she married him. Maybe she should give that husband a "permanent vacation" away from her. A one way ticket to Divorceland where he pays all expenses like alimony and child support.

ladylastarr avatar
Lady La'Starr
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First of all you need to correct yourself because you are NOT eavesdropping it's not your fault that they were talking loud enough for you to hear them while you were walking up ...they're just mad that they didn't see you to stop talking before you heard them. Now personally I would have tossed that fruit salad at that table and been on my happy way...

rickicker avatar
Ricky Namara
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pardon the French, but the family is a bunch of gossipy bitches, the mother in law is a trashy Queen Bee, and the husband is a pathetic mama's boy. When you're married, your spouse is FAMILY! And you take your spouse to every FAMILY outing unless he/she is indisposed (taken ill, attending to an ill relative, generally illness related)! Why? Because she's FAMILY, you a*****e!! My advice is to talk to this a*****e one last time. If he still doesn't get it, get out now. You're still young, girl. Don't let him gaslight you into a life of servitude and then tying you down on it with children.

lunchbox270 avatar
Marie Karlin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why bother talking to him even "one last time?" If he doesn't get it now, he won't get it then, either. The only way she should be talking to him is through a lawyer. This marriage is not worth the effort.

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jackielulu avatar
Jackie Lulu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You had to ASK him If you could go? Doesn't he like going places with you? What is wrong with him? Get away from this guy, the sooner the better.

tracy_23 avatar
Tracy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it were just the family talking, screw them. Stay and make them suffer through your presence with your husband firmly on your side... But the fact the husband was trash talking her... Those are big, big issues. Divorce-sized issues.

hunnreich avatar
T.Milly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a psychiatrist, I can factually say that THIS IS NOT AN EXAMPLE OF GASLIGHTING!! It is an example of two people who probably should have gotten to know each other & their respective families better prior to marriage. I find it suspect that the husband still wants to go on family vacations with his parents but not his spouse. The OP did exactly what I would have done if I were in the same situation. It's not a juvenile reaction at all, as the OP's husband believed it was. It's the proper reaction, especially for someone who is very upset but not in the mood for an argument with others who, potentially, can't understand why she's so upset to begin with. After all, the husband & MIL found it suspicious that OP wanted to vacation with them. OP's hubby is the problematic person here. He still wants his mommy involved in much of his life and really isn't ready to leave the nest behind. OP should move on with life without juvenile hubby & overbearing MIL.

rosenrotrtliebchen87 avatar
RosenrotRtLiebchen87
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

he basically told her she was in the wrong and overreacting, is that not a classic example of gaslighting?

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Joshua Shamblin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The husband is clearly a p***k-tard and his mother is the one who raised said p***k-tard. Situations like this never get better. They only get worse. Get a lawyer, take him for half and find someone who actually wants to be with you. Not just someone who wants a maid...

karenpowell avatar
karen powell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have gone through this situation and I understand that you want the family to like you and to get along fine but you as a person have done no wrong. This man puts his family first and always will you will never be before them. He will allow the bad talk and participate no matter what you do you never be enough for him or his family. I tried this same thing for 10 years. Honestly I say get out of this marriage now your not going to be happy because it only gets worse and after awhile you begin to feel like c**p in the relationship. Leave and go find someone who appreciates you, he never will when it comes to his family.

joannelawrence avatar
Jo L.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is just heartbreaking. On our wedding day, after the ceremony, my mother-in-law came up to me with the biggest smile on her face, gave me a big hug, and said "Yay! I finally have a daughter!" I realize my relationship with her is not the norm, and I am so blessed to be loved so much by a woman who is my second mom by choice. Stories like these are just so, so sad.

christiennewbury avatar
Christien Newbury
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have two daughters-in-law and two sons-in-law. Sometimes I actually prefer them to my own kids! I'm so blessed because they are all great additions to our family. 💗

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noelboutte avatar
Noel Boutte
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Him n his Momma would Neva have to WORRY bout seeing me or her GRANDKIDS ever AGAIN!!!! Damn him n her😳😳

teresaanne26 avatar
Teresa Coss
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd tell that mfr to go suck a jock.... Better yet let me tell him.. people like this need someone to ram the rod up their butt a little higher I've dealt with my fair share of aholes in my life and with my in-laws no matter what I did it was always wrong.. my ex husband never stood up for me... My new husband and his family treat me like gold!!! My advice divorce that sorry sack of s**t...

peterkn4 avatar
Pete from Cali. USA
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This whole thing is bad. It's understandable if his family doesn't like her but he should not have thrown her under the bus. That's a huge red flag. His job is to keep things civil or better yet help them get along since she IS family now. Sounds like he isn't ready to actually be married to her.

davehinckley avatar
Dave Hinckley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe hubby is upset because he wasn't able to get, let's call it mommy time, while you were there.

maritablardony avatar
Marita Blardony
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What did you see in this less of a human that made you decide to spend the rest of your life with him? Engagement periods are there to look for red flags before you commit to hell on earth.

toddx007 avatar
Adrienne TW
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get out now! It won’t get better. He will always treat you like this and it will eat at your self esteem.

killua_84 avatar
Lunar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't even want to stay married to a man and family that don't welcome me.

marilyn-natasia avatar
GrayKumiho84
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really broke my heart after reading this story. I hope she makes the decision to leave this toxic sorry sod of a man and his family. What I'm trying to understand is, how did she end up marrying him in the first place? I'm pretty sure she had picked up a couple of Vibes that this family of his doesn't approve of her of some sorts? I don't think I can marry into a family feeling some sort of distance with. Of course say my husband truly loves me and is on my side that's a different story. But clearly this fellow is something else. Pretty sure he wasn't all that great of a boyfriend to her before they had gotten married too. Poor thing.

doyleaaron avatar
Doyle Aaron
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am a 62 year old man and actions speak louder than words. You are not loved as m uch as his family. In other words you are a wife in words only. Get out of this fake marriage.

bellebeasleymiles avatar
Belle Miles
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jeeze, what are you? A mutant circus performer? The other siblings have there spouses along but NO TO YOU? Hmmm. Something's not being spoken.

k_anderson avatar
K. Anderson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like a marriage so someone could get paperwork to become a citizen aka fake relationship. Hope you doesn’t get pregnant

csillakaszas avatar
Csilla Kaszas
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She did not let them warm up to her - from a safe distance. Because that's how people get closer: by staying in their respective homes and going on separate vacations. /s

giobemo avatar
Giobemo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this story real?? This is like some "Get Out" kinda vibes right here. Family should be fully welcoming family from the wedding onward. Sure there will be a 'warming up' period as they get to know each other if they haven't already, but that doesn't involve excluding them from family events or making them unwelcome at ANY time. Did they leave each of their children with a sitter for a while until they had a chance to warm up to them too?? What's even more bizarre is the husband's agreeing with them. It really makes you wonder what his views and values are in terms of marriage and family. He seems to be fully on board with his wife going through this quarantine period with the family. He either thinks far too little of her or he is far too intimidated and controlled by someone else in that family. Makes me think of Smurf from 'Animal Kingdom'...

rdennis avatar
R Dennis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am not a big advocate for divorce - I have been married 23 (smooth and rough) years... but I can't see any way that I would stay with someone who didn't have my back. I don't care what the in-laws think (though I have known mine since I was four and we are good), but the husband's behavior is a dealbreaker. It seems he doesn't consider her family and isn't willing to defend her when she isn't present. Time to get legal advice and make an exit strategy.

jaimealvey avatar
Jaime Alvey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm just curious about one thing. How would he react or feel if he was in your shoes and treated him that way. I would definitely consider divorce if he doesn't have your back when it comes to his family. That is a serious red flag right there. Why would he even get married if this is how he truly feels about you? He's definitely not being fair to you by calling you juvenile and disrespectful when leaving the family vacation that he was hesitant on bringing you to. And then getting mad at you for accidentally overhearing a conversation about why you were there. As for as I'm concerned he's the one being juvenile and disrespectful to you. Get out of that situation while you can.

postvoorly avatar
christiennewbury avatar
Chrissyfox
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lots of reasons. Rebounding from a previous relationship is a main reason. Pressure from peers and family. Being desperate to be loved - often coming from a loveless or traumatic childhood. Arranged marriage. THINKING you're in love when it's probably just infatuation.

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Virginia Howard
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She did the right thing. Get out as fast as you can. I hope she called a lawyer. That guy is a narcissistic AH.

onemessylady avatar
Aunt Messy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have gone home, changed the locks and alarm code, packed his clothes in boxes and Fedexed them to his parents' house, sent ONE TEXT that said now he can move back in with Mommy,then blocked him and his stupid family every way I could. The second call would be to a divorce lawyer,

bnicole603 avatar
Brianne Nevrotski
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This needs to be at the top. I really hope OP did exactly that and is out there living her best life today.

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heather_michele avatar
Heather Woods
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have gone home talked to a divorce lawyer and changed the locks. when he came home told him to sign the papers and pack his stuff and find a new place to live starting that night. He obviously doesn't love you and doesn't want to be in a relationship so he can get out.

roseg avatar
Rose G
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That would not have been the end of a Vaca.. it would been end of that relationship. You should never have to ask to go with your husband on a family vaca. Especially when other spouses are there too. It should not matter if his family likes you. If they can't accept you he needed to defend you. He doesn't sound like he much loves or cares for you. That's not a marriage nor being a partner. You're not wrong. He is and so is his family. They are childish immature and need to fix themselves before judging you. Learn to only.live for yourself and kids and a man who will love and stand by you at all times.

laly-lynch-9 avatar
ℙ𝕦𝕣𝕣.𝕞𝕒𝕚𝕕
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From what I gather with this, my first thought was, 'Why are they even married to begin with?' If things don't begin to change, esp his behavior, I don't see it lasting very long. And even if it does, it's going to be a seriously unhealthy and unhappy union as long as they remain together.

roserosee avatar
Rosie Cat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I disagree, she should be very pushy and push her way to a better life. Be single or find another person who values her, and not just be a maid with benefits. It will hurt now but it's going to hurt more later. NTA.

danaturner avatar
Dana Turner
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The 1st Red Flag was when she had to ASK for permission to go and he actually hesitated. WHY wasn't she included from the get? And then to hear your MIL and Husband talking sh*t when you're within the same area...WOW....of course, this "so-called marriage" is doomed.

sandycarey avatar
Sandy Carey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel so heartbroken for this woman wanting to spend a vacation with her husband's family. Best thing he could have done for her was be honest. She must have been devastated by not only her InLaws feelings but her husband's also. Only difference between her an I is that divorce proceedings would be in the works and irreconcilable differences as the main complaint. He's a p**s poor husband, and the family is very disrespectful.

niccihuysamen avatar
Nicci Huysamen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm embarrassed and it didn't even happened to me. Reading this I felt my cheeks turn bright red. Well .... It may have been anger, not embarrassment. I'm horrified. Lady, why would you tolerate that in a million years? He clearly thinks you are the dirty, hot gum on his shoe in the summer. You know the kind you try to scrape off your shoe on the pavement, yelling EEUW! If you stay with this humongous douche then YTA.

mohamedbasiouny avatar
Mohamed Basiouny
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce his a**e and claim all his money for the effort of being his wife in such condition and for the emotional damage he and his family caused and in the end of the court , tell him and all his family " you said i try to push my self , you didn't want me to be in family gathering, now all your life all of you will have nothing to think of or talk about except me, i don't push my self, i naturally find my way) and live your life after... This is what such people really deserve🤣

karishiawashington avatar
Karishia Washington
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My question is what was it like before she married him? If he acted like this before, she created her own prison. Free yourself! You're the ONLY ONE that has the key 🔑

christinclifton avatar
Christin Clifton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My man can be a smartass sometimes and he even says it he acts like that even around his family we have been together over two years and his family has invited me to several things even though im a bit standoffish as a person they have always tried to make me feel welcome, to the point where if his mother thinks hes being to much of a butt she gets onto him and tells him to treat me better, u deserve so much more if he did this to me i wouldnt stay with him u dont deserve to be treated that way

teri_526 avatar
Teri Rosa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Before I left I might have given them a real reason to talk about me. Then my husband will be called out for the fraud he us. He is either lying to his family or his wife. Lousy either way. Glad she went home.

eleanordisco avatar
Puggo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA girl he does not appreciate all you have done for him and the family(s), like. I have heard so many things about mil doing this, and this is one of the worst.

mistysouders avatar
Misty Souders
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Op. His gaslighting you. His FAMILY abusive and so is he. Now you know how he and his family talks about you behind your back. VACATIONS are for FAMILIES and its VERY CLEAR that HIS family does NOT CONSIDER you ANY WAY apart of THEIR family. They just got unexpectedly COUGHTand then BLAMED YOU. You need to file for DIVORCE immediately. You will continue to receive THEIR PUNSHEMENT for you marrying that nasty POS until you do. Your WORTH such more then this VIVAL C**P. GOOD LUCK TO YOU

anniesteele avatar
Annie Steele
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Find a good divorce lawyer and sue him and his family for mental cruelty.

moya9469 avatar
Marcia Anderson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It really seems like this must have been an arranged marriage of some sort. There is no love or even like or respect in the relationship, rather it's more like a business transaction and the man just tolerates the woman. The woman in turn tries to justify her existence through servitude. The family of course does not want her as she is not within their league. Can she afford to leave the contract/relationship? She has some decisions to make for herself. Things will not get better.

mrankin1975 avatar
Monica A. M.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gtfo right now. This s*it ain't gonna get no better. Run fast.

hinck_07 avatar
Dina Hinckley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't let him treat you like his personal doormat. He is completely toxic. You left the vacation and you should just keep walking. Nobody on earth should have to be treated that way.

roseg avatar
Rose G
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

By the way, you're not eavesdropping on something you have every right to know and he should of been straight up with you about. No one should be speaking of anyone unless they are there to defend themselves. They need some serious counseling and i wouldn't even want to be part of that family or involved in any way with them. Say your prayers and make yourself happy as they seem to only care about their own happiness.

nijoka1469 avatar
RezFidel
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow... first degree Gaslighting, Disrespect, Abuse and no Love at all. RUN OP RUN! Fock that butthead and his whole disgusting family.

elisabethskladalova avatar
Kensi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the hell did I just read. This made me feel bad for that woman. This is so unfair. She really needs to leave him, this will only get worse. He's an ahole.

tbrig avatar
333
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

You read fiction. Nobody is that naive and dense.

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lone dragon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The whole family are a bunch of a-holes. She needs to get out and see a shrink before she gets into another relationship like this. She needs to realize she has worth and deserves love.

ronh_ avatar
Ron H.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She needs to leave this gas lighting narcissist and his family! The whole lot of them are toxic!!

pacodiablo avatar
paco diablo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well now she doesn’t say how she met her husband and I’m curious about that, was she a pole dancing stripper that he met at a topless bar? Or what? Even if she was he married her and he should have her back in any situation, that’s what loving partners do. He should have told his mom to go f**k herself and left with her. My heart goes out to her, her husband is a d**k

shirin_hashim avatar
Coffee panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When i hear these stories, my heart always says just divorce already whereas my friends will say they should work it out. I dunno if it will work out since there are no respect there in tge first place.

staphgirl79 avatar
Mistiekim
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would’ve felt the urge to pop out and throw the salad bowl down on the table before I left. Or maybe dump it on his head. If my husband went on vacation every year with his family, and I knew other spouses were there, yet he never invited me I would push him all the way to the curb. You are his family too. If he can’t understand that, then yes get out now.

shadee_15 avatar
Shana Danielle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He will probably play victim when she quietly files for divorce as well. And his family will believe him. They raised this d*** allowing no chance of maturity or growth as a man or husband.

deliagoins avatar
Delia goins
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. I understand her feelings. I go am in a marriage we’re my in laws don’t like me. Well the lady’s don’t. My husband allows them to tell him what to do and how to do it. Idk what he is doing until after he has messed up. I don’t even try to fix anything he messed up. I just let me do how ever they say. Because he doesn’t realize they don’t like the fact he has come a long ways in life with me. And they hate seeing him have anything in life. So I’d visit my in laws . I don’t go anywhere with him anymore. I could careless were he is when he leaves home. I have several things that has allowed me to call it quits. I’m trying to save up to pay a lawyer for a divorce. I will not be living in this mess long. So she needs to do the same thing . I plan to do . Get a Divorce… it will be all worth fir me.

rbarile22 avatar
Rose Barile
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Marriage was originated by God and he says: “a MAN shall leave his mother and father and stick to his wife. Is his mother that intimidating he can’t stand up to her! Huge red flag and no-no on his part. And then he shows mo empathy towards your rightfully hurt feelings.I would have left too and done exactly what you did.And once he arrived home, if this happened to me, I would also have made sure to let him know exactly what I heard, how it made me feel, and asked him why did he married me? That’s a boy, not a man! There was no empathy for your hurt feelings. His actions do not show he loves you. Feelings of betrayal?! I would understand. This is so sad!! If this is how he feels now about a new wife, I’d hate to think what the rest of the marriage will be like. His family needs to know you heard too??

monicaaskew avatar
Monica Askew
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So you had to ask to go on a family trip with your husband and his family? Are they not your family as well? It sounds like he doesn't even like you. As your internet friend...LEAVE NOW!

tracysbot avatar
Tracy Lynn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Some things are unforgiveable. This is one of them. Even if you stick around for a while longer how can you ever forgive him or his mother for this. He is a terrible person and obviously his mother raised him to be exactly this way. You are NOT the crazy one here. I hope you dony waste any more time, energy or love on this undeserving person or his undeserving family.

dandenpo avatar
Denise Porter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Run , don't walk out of this horrible situation. He is a spoiled momies boy and puts his mother above you. If he won't stand up (if even to her) and make you feel belittled ,I'm sorry but you deserve way better. You'll always be 2nd guessed in this relationship.This should have been a family get together , your family. If you have to demand to be a part ,this isn't what message you want your children thinking is appropriate in any relationship. Red Flag.Thecmom has raised him to be unempathetic, narcissistic , and self absorbed. Unless that's how you really want to grow old and raise children ,I'd run as fast as possible. It will only get worse not better. He'll always blame you and be in denial because that's been acceptable . Your better than this and a good man won't put you through this kind of problems that causes insecurity. He and his feed off of that .Don't be their guinea pig or victim. You can't change someone's family and he just Proved you won't be his first priority so .Th

lorigarcia avatar
Lori Garcia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce him you serve better and a family and marriage that wants you in there life NO MATTER WHAT!!! Don’t waste your life on Pleasing him or his family!! He should of when defended you and said LOOK MOM SHE’S MY WIFE AND I’M TAKING HER ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE IN MY LIFE SO EITHER BE ON BOARD OR I’M GONE!! SHE IS APART OF ME NOW!!

vivianchapman avatar
Vivian Chapman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm still trying to process why a spouse wouldn't be invited on a family vacation? The fact she had to ask is a huge problem. The in-laws sound like a bunch of weirdos. Find a better family. You will be miserable with this man. And I would've done the same thing and left!

rochellehairston avatar
Rochelle Hairston
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How was she even eavesdropping? Clearly she could hear them while walking outside with the food? Should she have dropped it all to cover her ears? Should she have turned back around and waited out the gossip....about her? She definitely needed to leave, but I am not feeling her doubting herself for it. Either he gets his act together, apologizes to her, in front of his family, puts her first and keeps her there, or it's time for him to go. I mean, is THAT the behavior he learned from his dad???? I want to know.

oliviaweber avatar
Olivia Weber
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like she need to quietly make a trip to the divorce attorney office. Not sure if these signs were evident before but why marry someone you don’t like? He should have her back even when she’s not around with anyone. With a husband like that who needs enemies, your sleeping with 1 lol. Please leave so you can find someone that respects and values who you are and doesn’t look at you as a inconvenience, burden or with resentment because emotional and physical abuse is very much real & it’s headed down that path. I do not see this marriage lasting without some major war wounds.

ingridsampson avatar
Ingrid Sampson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's sad to see and hear our adults who have been through life and still not growing to a place of understanding and teaching and instilling good value and having good advise of truth it's disgusting to see how some never have wisdom since the adults are married themselves, should treat their sons wife with respect, and it will be returned but unfortunately they are all too selfish and think of themselves only not allowing anyone into their circle

julieboles avatar
Julie Boles
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. I can't believe what I just read She should have booked the flight home and went to see a lawyer and started divorce proceedings. He does not love her like a husband should.

lizratcliff18 avatar
Elizabeth Almaguer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Run for the hills girl, run. This guy obviously has no respect for you, or your marriage. Divorce him, and move on...there are so many guys out there that you could end up with that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

markelabanks avatar
Markela Banks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Since you haven't been married long you could probably get it annulled. If he don't take your feelings seriously, throw the whole Man away.

arikeeper avatar
Ari Keeper
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have to say, this is one the few aita I've read where I feel sincerely sad for her. That's awful 😖

lilmssunshine avatar
LilMsSunshine
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

GET OUT NOW!!! While you still have some sanity, if you stay, you’re going to lose your mind PERIODT.

kalliebarrett avatar
kallie barrett
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder how much money OP brought to the marriage. Awful husband sounds like he genuinely dislikes her.

haji81872 avatar
Chris Shaffer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How do you marry someone with so little knowledge of what they are like or with little understanding of his family. He is an a*****e, but that fact tou married him in the first place is troubling. BTW the shrinks advice is horrible. BYW2 Gaslighting is a term being thrown around way to casually.

randyperez avatar
Randy Perez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First, NTA... But I'm still debating on whether or not what she did was correct. Probably telling him to his face that she's leaving and then say he's being pushy, or ask if he has nowhere else better to be than bothering her if he tried to stop her. Then divorcing him. At the end of the day, you marry the man and the family and they clearly didn't like her. Even tho, we don't know from earlier interactions if she's left a sour taste in their mouths... Regardless, they should divorce instead of living a lie

sfvnative avatar
Carl Bailey
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I figured this was about race or religion or country of origin and he's trying to appease his prejudiced family.

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sakbrat avatar
Shea Keenan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get out! Get out with your dignity and self respect intact! These people are BAD! Go now!

lauracrandall avatar
Laura crandall
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have now seen what narcissist these people are. They have no regard., let alone love, for anyone outside of their little group. I hope you see what a dry lonely and unhappy life you will have with your husband who is quite likely a Mama's boy. So no matter how hard you try you will never be enough for them and they will continue to treat you like an ungrateful servant who has the audacity to expect to be treated like a member of the family. Abusive relationships often creep up on us as we make one concession after another and hardly notice how much of ourselves we have given up to make a relationship work. I hope you can find the strength to leave this family to find a real living, warm, loving husband who is not admiring his reflection in the mirror 24/7. You might be surprised that it will be a relief to get away from these fools. You may have a much better life ahead of you if you just realize you are enough.

sae84 avatar
Bored Retsuko
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry, either I'm having the déjà-vu of the century or this post is repeated from a couple of weeks ago!

chubbo_gore avatar
Becklass
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is 100% gaslighting. You caught him doing something awful (trash talking you with his Mum) and he twisted it to be your fault for “Eavesdropping”. This guy and his family sound toxic. Run my lovely, these people are incapable of changing and you’d spend your life hoping things will get better. I know because I stayed with someone like this for 24 years. Now I’m free and so so much happier.

janet-burnett88 avatar
Wyndmere
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he does not value, respect, and love her so that he is on her side first, and see the 2 of them as one, undivided unit, she is in for a lifetime of neglect, rejection, and abuse from him and his whole family. Get out of that relationship as fast as you can, before you believe all the bogus tripe they are dumping on you. You are worth so much more than this.

chemerson205 avatar
Christopher von Emerson-Schun
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it’s fair to say this whole trip started with’a red flag. You shouldn’t have had to ask your husband to go on a family vacation with him. It should really be expected especially with his siblings spouses going as well. I’m sorry but I don’t think this marriage can be repaired. Your husband doesn’t realize the lack of respect his family has for ‘him’ by allowing them to feel comfortable talking bad about you.

mshaurimazuri avatar
Mshauri Mazuri
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's toxic. Leave. No one ever has the right to make you feel bad about yourself. No one.

lisabenjamin avatar
Lisa Benjamin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce this a$$hole and his family, ASAP. The bigger question to me is what on earth did she see in him? There needs to be time for her to step back and get therapy and establish self esteem, self awareness, and what she is entitled to. Once she has that, she will understand that no one gets to decide how to treat her except her.

okidoll821_1 avatar
Stelley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You shouldn't have to ask to go on a family vacation. YOU'RE HIS WIFE. You should be included. Then for them to talk about her like that, and her husband joins in.Then he blames her. So cruel and awful. This should have never been this way. He is awful and his family is awful. It sounds like they've been doing it for awhile. Get away from him and his miserable family.

eleanor_halford avatar
Eleanor Halford
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Run far , far away and get a divorce , the blame is all theirs and you need to be doing things that make you happy. That family is really toxic, it's all about me ,me ,me , and to h**l with you . Get away and get yourself a better life !!!

annasen avatar
ANNA SEN
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m sorry but this is a massive wake up call that you shouldn’t be in this relationship. So sorry.

gabrielgawrada avatar
Gabriel Gawrada
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're the class act here; your response to the situation is top notch. You have, unfortunately, married into a family that doesn't deserve you, husband included. Decent people don't act this way.

amalialandicho avatar
Amalia Landicho
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave him. The in-laws being nasty is one thing but your husband? Nonononono! He doesn't have b@lls! Nobody deserves to be treated that way. And you deserve better. Remember you will spend your whole life with him and his family. You don't want to be in that sh*tty hole all your life. Leave while you still can. Once you find the right person who will treat you well, you will be happy you left him.

dragoncherie16 avatar
Alannah Rodriquez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really ? How immature can he get ? If he really didn't want her to come he should have just said no instead of trying to seem cool with it. ... And then there is the trash talking... Like really? He's the a** f*** him. Sounds like you don't need that kind of negativity and you deserve so much better!

kiankuchenbrod avatar
Kian Kuchenbrod
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i would never go ona trip with this a*****e or his family. Plus first thing u do when mom and dsd start talking about new wife/husband is to tell them to mind there own business unless there asked for an opinion. sorry to say but he cared more about taking care if his mom dad and siblings that his newish wife. sorry stupid mommys boys exist. good luck to you.

kiankuchenbrod avatar
Kian Kuchenbrod
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

wow the husbands a pussy for not telling him mommy to mind her own business and hes also abretard for coming home and blaming her. if u go on a vaca just to hear your loved one and there fsmily constantly talk s**t to you while they have fun and your treated like a maid i would have gone back home too. weather they were only married for a short period of time, regardless, kutos to the mommys boy neglect of his newish wife and his cunning stupidity to try to blame it on her when he got back about her eavesdropping, point is he was talkin s**t, saying or implyong disrespectful comments about her in the middle of a nice trip. id bever go on a vaca with this a*****e or his family.

letie0717 avatar
letie0717
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F that! First of all.. who asks her own husband if she could come along…. You pack your bags and you join, you don’t ask! Know your damn worth!!!!!!! I’m more mad at the author cause like…. This doesn’t make any sense… she gets pushed over cause she allows it… smh

adventuresofamalamal avatar
Adventures of Amal Amal
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My advice, LEAVE HIM. It'll not get better. Because he knows his parents doesn't like you at all it would give him the confidence to cheat on you. So why stay when you are unwanted. Don't wait for cheating to come. Because that's not the only bad thing he could do to you. I agree not all in-laws get along but it's the husbands job to defend his wife. If your husband cannot defend you and stop his family's evilness then there is no way you can entrust him with your entire years in this world. Don't wait for kids to come along. It would not be easy to leave him when there are kids involved it would be better to leave him now whilst you can still easily rebuild your life.

phebeharris avatar
Phebe Harris
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate to say it but he is using you. RUN!!! Before animosity set in, because you are going to be in for a ride. WOW!! He didn't even defend you, I'm so sorry.

terri_dailey avatar
Terri Dailey
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A married man who HAS to go on an annual family vacation, without you? Not only is the family very uncaring and rude to talk about you behind your back but for them to expect a married man to continue to go on annual vacations is a co-dependent.situation. You did nothing wrong!! You were totally disrespected by the man who’s supposed to be your “husband” and the people he grew up with. You need to pack up his stuff, put his stuff outside, change the locks on your doors and tell him to go back to his mommy. Get rid of this loser….he’ll never change & you’ll be unhappy forever.

fiverthedybbuk avatar
Fiver Martin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce him. And as someone in a long marriage who values the institution, I don't say that lightly. He can marry his mother.

johnathanmcfadden avatar
Johnathan McFadden
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA! I would have also had divorce paperwork on the table and I would have been moved out by the time he returned. Your husband should have your back 100% even to family.

cherylstrahm avatar
Cheryl Strahm
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have so many questions, such as why he married you! Run don't walk as fast as you can to a lawyer.

texunrose avatar
Lana Boussidan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Run, don't walk, to the nearest attorney. Take it from someone who has been through this, nothing will change. All of the others who have advised you to leave him are correct. Don't cling to the hope he will change. Ain't gonna happen, sweetie.

khamit avatar
Kim S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's something else going on here. I suspect there's a difference in culture, religion, or race.

kwpierce5 avatar
Calyx Teren
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy is the Duke of DARVO. Save yourself. This is your one precious life. Don’t spend it with someone who despises you.

reereek avatar
Shereé Knight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP needs to leave that marriage- ASAP. It sounds like you blackmailed him to get him to marry you, or you're the type of person who "never goes away"; Therefore, he felt obligated to marry you? Idk. But, he doesn't want to be with you. I felt that family Vaca is their way of protecting him and allowing him time to be with the one he loves. All spouses are invited except for you. Please take the hint. And stop watching their kids and 'waiting' on them like your waiter/chef, etc. To hell with that, however, if you continue to allow this behavior, then you'll always be treated like s**t.

tbrig avatar
333
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm really starting to get tired of these AITA posts where there is no way the OP doesn't know who the A-Hole is. Most are so glaringly obvious that either the OP is obviously making it up for the attention or they're the densest people on earth. People need to stop answering them like they really don't know when they obviously do. Stop enabling them.

ireneking avatar
Irene King
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes people can get so mentally damaged in a toxic relationship that they cannot see what is otherwise blatantly obvious. Posts like this are usually just seeking a confirmation of what they already know. Unless you’ve been in a narcissistic/gaslighting relationship, it’s easy to see who is or isn’t the ahole. OP doesn’t need criticism and shaming because she already has that going on in the spouse’s family. She needs confirmation of her feelings and that she is not the idiot that her “husband“ is trying to make of her.

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stefaniepatterson avatar
BluEyedSeoulite
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ESH. His family is 9/10 the problem, OP is 1/10. She could have brought it up directly to her husband before leaving. If he didn't back her up then, hell yes, get on that plane and start researching divorce lawyers, just in case

trishunt5038 avatar
Tris Hunt
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For some, it's not easy to confront anyone that is as bad as the husband and family. For others, easy. Even if she did, he probably would've yelled at her the same way he did when he got home. Divorce is definitely needed.

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suzycreamcheese avatar
Suzy Creamcheese
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I take anything that comes from Reddit with a large grain of salt, but assuming this story is true, OP should see a divorce lawyer ASAP.

n-tarunikasri avatar
girlsrock4ever
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So this lady cooked, cleaned, and looked after the kids, but she's an inconvenience? This marriage is an inconvenience to this lady. And trash-talking someone he CHOSE to marry? I think he didn't want to go against Mommy dearest, so he went along with it since she wasn't there. And now he's upset... DIVORCE HIM!!!!!!

raabh_ufes avatar
Raabh Aquino
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm Brazilian, and something that baffles me is how whan an American (sometimes European) a couple gets married and the spouse is still treated as a stranger by the other person's family. Seriously, unless we're talking about a very unpleaseant person, it's horrible to treat your son's or daughter's spouse like this. Oh, and when a couple gets married, the spouse becomes each other primary family by default. So this whole "family vacation" that excludes specifically one spouse is absolutely BS and OP did well ditching them. And the husband had the audacity to gaslight her... I hope she served him divorce papers. Edited for typos.

lytsedraak avatar
Lytse Draak
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The thing I don't understand is that the other spouses were invited, but not OP? Wtf?

suegendron avatar
mm65851
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How dare he & his dippy family turn this around on YOU. A simple "I'm not staying where I'm not wanted" might have shut them all up. You can't really argue with that. I'm not convinced they didn't really want you to hear the conversation. Who says stuff like that if there's any chance the person will hear? Or walk in on it at any moment? Geez.

paintergirl888 avatar
P.A.B.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are only TA if you stay in this marriage. I know leaving is easier said than done, but do you want to live the rest of your life this way? You are SO worth someone loving you 100%, unconditionally. Your present situation is toxic, love, and isn’t going to get any better. Sending you prayers. 👏🏾

nicolekosanke avatar
Nicole Kosanke
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't believe she even had to ask to join her husband on the family vacation! It should have just been a given.

oni219 avatar
Jesse Kyle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You shouldn't have been eavesdropping." YOU SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN TALKING C**P ABOUT YOUR WIFE!

melissajgunnels avatar
Melissa J
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is awful I feel bad for her. If he doesn't want his wife to go on "Family Vacations" then why did he get married? My husband and myself go on everywhere together because we want to. Ur wife is ur family and if he felt she was pushy why marry her? He should've apologized for what she overheard and take responsibility not blame her. He's definitely the AH.

lloydarold avatar
Lloyd Arold
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That definitely sounds like a toxic relationship if that's how someone talks about their partner behind their back. Especially when that was his reaction afterwards. It may be hard to break up a marriage so soon, but better now than staying with someone who doesn't seem to even like you or want you around.

hobbes_dogz avatar
Hobbes Dogz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. The husband and the whole family is seriously f-cked up. Who excludes a wife from a family vacation? She is family!

jastull444 avatar
Jamie Johnson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have done the same thing and just left. Why would you want to stick around where your not wanted or respected. My ex husband was a lying,cheating, wife beater that only got worse. It started out with things just like this and ended up with him beating me for finding out all the horrible things he said and did behind my back. Find a man that would defend you and fight for you to be around. His family shouldn't have to warm up to you while you are doing everything a good wife would do.

rhildamiller avatar
Rhilda Miller
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait, explain it to your children and get out! The gall of him,I guess he wants sex from you ? Well cut the sex off leave and take a vacation after you hand him divorce paper.. I have never heard of any like this before. UGLY PEOPLE!!! Shame

diannerueda avatar
Dianne Rueda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just hope she has the backbone to get rid of this ahole. He clearly doesn't even like her. Poor woman. I feel so sorry for her.

candiceshort87 avatar
Candice Blanton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is what happens when you marry a man who is emotionally and verbally abusive. He thinks youre trapped now because you're married. Leave him now. Get out before you get pregnant and he uses the baby as leverage to keep you down. Change the locks while he's gone one day. I've been here. It only gets worse.

montanathompsons avatar
Montana Thompsons
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

mogu_tou avatar
Not a robot
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's more to this story. I wonder how the OP had got along with the husband's family prior to getting married, how she knew that she had been labelled as "pushy" before etc

lunagrace avatar
Luna Grace
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was going through a lot over 5 years in marriage, After being told I wouldn’t be a mom. I was surprised with my miracle baby. With the help of dr agumba solutions home I'm so much excited and grateful.  Here is the email address to contact;       dragumbasolutioncenter@gmail.com

margaretdavidson avatar
Margaret Davidson
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I spent 45 years feeling that I was not good enough for my husband’s family or for him. I had already been groomed by some of my family and was ready to accept this behavior. It took several years and a recovery group to learn that their behavior was not okay. I will never allow anyone to undermine the person I am in Christ. I’m a child of the King!

rachelrichey avatar
Rachel Richey
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your husband's " family" is you..... his choices and his parents are abusive and you need out of this shocking situation.

jomallj avatar
j omallj
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bad husband, bad inlaws. Get out!! Believe me , you'll feel the knife get shoved into your back, eventually, it hurts!! You deserve a better relationship. Sounds like you married a mommy's boy who has a ring in his nose and treats you like a servant. Get some professional help because you deserve it and you deserve a husband that respects you.

loannikerris avatar
Loanni Kerris
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When your husband starts talking about a family vacation again, book yourself in a resort and have your own vacation. For at least a week.

ktkate06 avatar
BrokeDog
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A relationship will never last, if a spouses family hates the in-law! Get out while you can!

lanajenkins avatar
Lana Jenkins
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex in laws treated me the same. I overheard conversation about me and mil offering to send him back to college all expenses paid if he left me. I was 20 years old and living in another state without any family support. She actually grounded me from phone so I couldn't call my family. We lived with them for 6 months in the country. Was not allowed to drive to work had to walk down highway to get to work. After working all day asked husband to please pick me up, I waited for hours until my job was closing he never came. His parents said it wouldn't hurt me to walk home. My parents loved him. When I got home called my parents and my aunt and uncle came and got me. It lasted 2 years. Told my mom what was said she sided with ex in divorce.

bob-g-mccann avatar
SPQRBob
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For everyone who feels OP should divorce her husband (including me), please resist the Republican efforts to eliminate no-fault divorce.

havocr24 avatar
HavocR24
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

100% divorce his a*s. You're an inconvenience to him? He didn't want to take you on the vacation, while his brothers had their spouses there. Then also talks s**t about you behind your back. Bruh, I would've left him instantly, not just went home.

julianscherner avatar
Julian Scherner
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave the prick and while you're at it, superglue his d**k to his balls.

ivonash avatar
Ivona
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP forced her husband to invite her to his weekend with his family which is their family weekend. Her presence there wasn't welcome, and her stealthy departure created a very bad impression.

glenmacleod avatar
Glen MacLeod
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What kind of husband doesn't want his wife to get to know his family and why does his obviously inhospitable family have to get to know her at a certain pace? They have not been married long, but he's willing to go on a separate holiday with his family as though he'd never married. What a jerk. Divorce him, now. ASAP! Before you have children and never get rid of him.

perry_chamberlain avatar
Perry Chamberlain
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope she went to see an attorney when she got back and immediately filed for divorce. Then move out ASAP, AND GO NO CONTACT

snsaquarius avatar
Stefi Stoyanova
Community Member
8 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the b******e and his enablers of a family wanted a maid they should have hired one! Not have poor OP act as a free one while they talk s**t behind her back! OP, you won't be an a*****e only in one situation: leave the f*****g bastard and his equally gaslighting a*****e family and don't look back! Otherwise you'll be an a*****e to yourself and you can do better!

tiffanyann avatar
Tiffany Ann
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only thing she did wrong was not tell them to all F**k off before she left. What a bunch of a$$holes.

wendy_coronacastellanos avatar
Wendy Corona
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being married makes HER family. She should run and never look back!

sheedashaheen82 avatar
Rasheeda Pennybaker
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She couldn't do nothing else this weekend? She's better than me because I would have book me a ticket to the Bahamas or something and a hotel on him. Yup I'm doing something different having fun. Found me a new man while I was having fun. I'm just saying

theresazilska avatar
Theresa Zilska
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never make comments about things online but this one got to me & all i can say ( and more) is WOW what an a** your husband is & his fuc^## family, if his brother's wife's went you shouldn't have to ask if you could go it should just be a given that your going, it's a family vakay for fu$@* sake, * you are now family. I would of done the same thing you did, I think, I have a tendency to shoot off at the mouth, so I might have blown up on him & his family, good for you being the lady that you are & flew away. I sure as hell hope that him & his family read all these comments, maybe then they'll get a clue, good luck to you in whatever you decide, what is best for you.

itisdarkestbeforedawn78 avatar
Beck
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Give me a D! Give me an I! D-I-V-O-R-C-E what's that spell???

sanneelter avatar
Sanne Elter
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you are married to that guy it means you are a part of that family than too.....its disgustingbwhat THEY do in the first place......F**k them all,leave that guy because its never getting better.You will find a much better msn

amilahcrackcornandidontcare avatar
Amilah CrackcornandIdontcare
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most men dont love their wives, they only marry them for free domestic labor and sex. She should leave, but the likelihood she did is low. Women love to suffer at the hands of these bums

jillpatella avatar
Jill Patella
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't like to tell people to end a marriage lightly because I believe that marriage is work. You take the good with the bad and hopefully you are with the love of your life because I think everyone should experience that wonderful love! I was lucky enough to have it but I lost my husband young. I really don't know how I have survived this far but I met a guy about 5 years after my loss. I have never been more miserable in life. He sounds a lot like the guy in this story. He is a narcissist and trust me, I didn't know what one was until I researched his behavior. What this woman should have done after leaving was to file for divorce because it doesn't get better but it does get much worse! It literally takes everything out of you. I have been with the guy for 12 years. First I stayed because I was hoping he would change, he didn't. I'm in the process of getting out now and I will never date again! I am happy that I found the love of my life once and I'm not greedy.

maciejewskaanna avatar
Maciejewska Anna
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get divorce and stop wasting your life. I was with someone similar. You're his wife ffs, you shouldn't need to ask, he should have invited you first place because you are part of this family! Unfortunately! Since the day you got married, if his family invites his, they invite also you! Get the hell out of there before it gets worse.

sfvnative avatar
Carl Bailey
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think I see what's going on here: She's of a different race or religion than his family and they don't want her in their family. To keep peace in the family he feels he has to keep her home. He values his family so much that he may be starting to agree with them and may be slowly losing his love for her.

zhannag avatar
Groza
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To stay in this marriage would indicate having totally zero self-respect.

zhannag avatar
Janna Grigorieva
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To stay in this marriage would indicate having totally zero self respect.

chelaiditea avatar
Macrina Chelaidite
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't have responded to his text/any communication. And he wouldn't find me at home either. I never let anyone disrespect me twice. I would see a lawyer and start divorce ASAP. If there are no children you don't have to even see that 💩 again. These people don't deserve any time or energy.

spiceejade avatar
BeautifulDisaster
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You NEED to get out now.... PERIOD. If this is the first time you are hearing this kind of conversation from you husband all I can say is it is only the beginning of a very long deep hole filled with nothing but toxic gaslighting behavior to come. He WILL do things to hurt you and WILL always consider it your fault that you were hurt by his actions. Do you really want to live a life like that? Have respect for yourself and get away from those people. Trust me!! You will be much better off down the line.

evangeline_jernigans avatar
LargeMarge
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Either leave him now or end up on an episode of any murder show, just pick one.

sweettsblackcakes avatar
Sweetts Cakes
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know why but I think her looks may be an issue to the family maybe she is not conventionally attractive (or possibly overweight) and the family hates on her. She might be a great mom and wife but they are mistreating her for some reason and I do not think it's a good one.

ronrunamuk avatar
Ron runamuk
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Where I come from you take the brothers, sisters husbands & wives as a whole package, wether you like the in-law out-laws or not. With this kind of attitude the woman needs to move on, there is no waiting time to be accepted in a family, you are either in or out, she should move on & get away from these un-social misfits.

secondonlytome avatar
April Dancer
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please don't hang around to be gaslit any further. You will start to believe it and have years of misery in front of you. Get out now and consider yourself lucky that you haven't wasted any more of your life. Block all his nasty relatives from calling you and refuse ro speak to anyone but your lawyer. Sending you lots of supportive hugs.

faeryiis avatar
Lululoohoo
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if its not too late, get an annulment because this marriage is in the trash already. he sounds like a gaslighting son of a gun & has zero loyalty to his wife. His brothers spouses were there, but she wasn't and they will welcome her at their own timeline?? What in the actual F is that nonsense. Don't just book that flight and go home...pack his stuff and tell him to get the F out.

sachielk avatar
StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
9 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These posts rile me as you rarely know how it all pans out. it's like reading a book with the last chapter torn out. As for what is said so far, she should seriously consider the relationship. If she loves him and decides to stay, she could go off on holiday without him & never accompany him to his parents. But then what's the point of staying with such a d*ck? - unless she isn't in a financial position to divorce him. Again, who knows what happens next?

gregbaughman avatar
Greg Baughman
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Talk about your red flags.... Since when should a wife have to ask her husband if she can come along on a family vacation? I can't even imagine the husband not saying "We're a package deal". She needs to dump this loser, flip his family off, and find someone who will WANT to be with her.

zanebaker_1 avatar
Zane Baker
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your husband and his mother obviously have some sort of sick relationship going on.

woozycool avatar
woozycool
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know your heart just about shattered. BUT. Be happy to nip this in the bud, before babies get involved and things get complicated.

hialmondjoy avatar
Hi Almond Joy
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It would be different if it was just his 'girlfriend' and he didn't feel comfortable bringing her along yet and letting the family 'warm up', but that was his WIFE. SHE IS HIS FAMILY. It's f*****g hella odd for him to not want her to come along on a FAMILY VACATION.

michellemiller_3 avatar
Michelle Miller
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Girl, you are married that means YOU ARE HIS FAMILY NOW!!! Seriously listen to all these people and GET A DIVORCE!!! Anyone that treats you like this, ANYONE, is cruel and mean. Just move on please!!!

mbelmore10 avatar
Sister Mary Jane
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pack your bags. If this is how you're treated now it will only get worse.

jon_steensen avatar
Jon Steensen
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It migh be because I am from a really small country, where travelling between even the most distant corners can be done easily, but not getting to know your extended family very well before you get married sounds kind of wierd to me. As they would most likely end up playing a major part of your life, investing a bit of time into figuring out what kind of people you are dealing with sounds like the smart thing to do before you commit to them. Family hollidays can be a tough thing to deal with, as you will end up spending a lot of time toghether, and due to the fact that there is no gentle escape if conflicts arise between people. Sure they sound like horrible people to be around, and the way they treated her was beyond acceptable, but I think that she could have avoided a lot of this by doing her homework a bit better. For me it sounded like the marriage was rushed and she did not get to know her supposed partner well enough to discover his true self before it was too late.

lynnnoyes avatar
elfin
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You may have made your relationship with his family worse, but how is that a bad thing? It was already horrible and it extended to your husband himself. It's your wake-up call. Since you haven't been married long and (perhaps) have no children yet, it's a good time to consider whether you want to continue with this marriage. You could do much better. Find someone who values and respects you.

sexychick4421475_1 avatar
Claire Armstrong
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I think that I might have messed this up and somewhat ruined it for them as well" - this makes me really sad. And angry! The whole thing does but just that one sentence is the worst thing about it for me! He has her conditioned so that she believes that she is the one in the wrong! She needs to get out of that relationship NOW before things get any worse because, rest assured, they definitely will! I really hope she leaves. I would love an update on this.

stevewhite_1 avatar
DCwuk
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kick him in to touch, there are plenty of decent men around

stephanieconley_1 avatar
Stephanie Conley
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's married to a narcissist is what I hear. If he talks like that about her now there's no telling what he will be saying later. Nothing good. He's just going to make her feel like a burden and maybe worse and that sort of thing sticks with a person even after they aren't together anymore. It really damages your self esteem and makes you lose any sense of self worth you might have had..

bemagikal avatar
Be Magikal
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband is from an enmeshed family, they don’t consider spouses part of the family. They pretended to like and include me until we were married. Over time I saw they treated all the in-laws that way, anyone not blood.

nellallama avatar
Lesley Allen
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd not only have quietly flown home, but I'd have called the airline and cancelled HIS ticket home!

bnicole603 avatar
Brianne Nevrotski
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My heart breaks for the OP and I hope she gives/gave an update in the comments below about how she left that POS and is now living her best life! Even if kids are involved you can & will still 100% live your best life without him in the picture!!

chrisfischer avatar
Maudelin
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is what happens when you marry someone you don't know just for the sake of being married. You are married, you should have automatically been included in a family vacation. Divorce immediately or be emotionally and mentally abused for the rest of your life.

olavarria_carla avatar
Carla Olavarría
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get the dystopic film vibe here please run! Run fast and run away!

writevalda avatar
ValdaDeDieu
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

GET. A. DIVORCE. Do it now. It's not going to get any better. You know how you know? They're comfortable and happy in treating you like garbage -- and your "husband" is too... They do not deserve to be around the air you breathe. You're worth more than ten of them put together. So... GET A DIVORCE.

mbelmore10 avatar
Sister Mary Jane
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please find a good divorce atty. This marriage will not last if he and his family treat you like a 2nd class citizen. You're better than that.

mitcheldyck avatar
Mitchel Dyck
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dr Benjamin the great lottery spell caster helped me win lottery by giving me the lottery numbers and I won, he can help you too. email him drbenjaminlottospell711@gmail.com

leonardlinton avatar
Leonard Linton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s an honor  to share this testimony to the world. Dr Benjamin you're a blessing to our generation. I have always desired to win lottery some day, at some point I thought it was something impossible, until I came across series of testimonies on how had helped a lot of people win lottery, at first I was so skeptical about it because I haven't seen a things as such in my life, at a second thought I decided to give it a try so I emailled him via his person email, he replied me and instructed me on what to do, after 24 hours he gave me some numbers and I won $2 million just like that. Dr Bejamin I owe everything for making me the man that I am right. If you need his help below is his contact information, he can help too Email: drbenjaminlottospell711@gmail.com Whatsapp:+17066036031

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Leonard Linton
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

vickicunningham avatar
Vicki Cunningham
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Run, run as fast as you can! This can never be repaired. He will never be on your side, not ever! Been there, trust me.

macforme17 avatar
Lindy Mac
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The absolute best advice in this was DON'T HAVE KIDS with this man.... the second best advice is GTFO of that marriage. Third best advice... get to know a potential partner' s family before you get too involved. The order is based on the fact that she already married the bum.

tshae44 avatar
Shannon Carman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And she whispered "AquaTofana” as she served them that salad. And made some S O U P ... If you know, you know. LOL.

ria144 avatar
Krysta Pandoo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know, the 'pushy' remark is bugging me. Is she an awful person and doesn't realise it? Why would other wives be invited but specifically not you. I feel like there's more to this. Maybe she is bloody hell to be around and doesn't know it.

silkydeathkitten avatar
Jennifer Holmgren
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Firstly, am i the only one who thinks it's super weird she wasn't invited in the first place? No one should have to ask to be included in a trip with their spouse and family. All i can say is lucky to figure out early what you're dealing with. It took me 8 years of mind games and gas lighting to finally decide to stop allowing myself to be abused further. As far as people changing? Yeah it's possible. My packing up and moving from the east coast to the west was kind of a major eye opener for him, to the point her finally got help, and flat out admitted he used to make me feel crazy so he could get his way. No one should ever feel unwanted or unloved, and if someone make you feel like that, GTFO before making major commitments.

glennfink avatar
glenn fink
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this guy needs to disappear in her rear view mirror for good

jdtimid123 avatar
jdtimid123
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have been upset from the part part where "he was hesitant but agreed." My husband wouldn't even consider making me stay home while he went on vacation. And neither would I. Even before we got married and we're just living together. He doesn't get to go on trips very often because of his work schedule (I take regular drives up to see my parents where they live), but when he's off I'm always excited to have him be able to spend time getting to know my family.

alya_2 avatar
Alya
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How you gonna marry someone and not want to be with them? Was the mom allowed to bring her husband? Why?? They're just married. This would be messed up if she was just his girlfriend, but more understandable. But they're straight up married.

alya_2 avatar
Alya
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I try to tone down my advocacy for divorce bc sometimes I jump to it too fast, but this is early on in the relationship and he already seems sick of her? And then doesn't at all care about how hurt she would feel from being unwanted and badmouthed? That red flag has sirens blaring with it

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judyr8 avatar
Judy Riley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave. He doesn't see you as anything more than a servant! Leave before he starts beating you for having an opinion

honeyk avatar
honeyk
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why isn't the wife even invited without having to ask if she can join the family? she's married to the guy... she ought to be considered family. she's in a toxic relationship with her husband and his family... married a short time? Perfect!!! get it annulled and put the sickening experience behind you... i can tell you it is not going to get better. you've already taught him how he is allowed to treat you... like you mean nothing to that family or him. or you're a secret they don't want to know about. get out and fast! poor girl.

ellia-fletcher avatar
SweetBananaHeartz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nta, there’s a thing called no “husband” maybe it would hurt a little but still not as much as you gossiping about her

beberhinehart avatar
BeBe Rhinehart
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No. NTA. Run while you can. Those people are _not_ nice folks and if they treat you like this now, your future looks like you're the "hired help" instead of "family". Just....damn! They're all AH's and they're usung you, particularly _him_!

mackenzie-judd-2001 avatar
Mackenzie Judd
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave. Immediately. Or yesterday. Humongous red flag🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 The guys a complete asswhipe, and there is definitely something wrong if he goes on 'vacation' with his 'family' without you. Unless you have to work or something like that

teresadruer avatar
Teresa Druer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are going to suffer narcissistic abuse with this guy hes obv a narcissist .... and his mom is too prolly ... get out while u can...dont get stuck like me

williamjdougherty avatar
William J Dougherty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get out of that marriage. It’s not a relationship and will only get worse. He needs a zombie to blindly follow orders. Get away.

triciag avatar
Tricia G
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's lucky I'm not his wife if he thinks she acted childish. I would have made the biggest scene they ever saw. At the very least, they'd all be wearing the salad! I sure hope she leaves him!

ngaiacobb avatar
Ngaia Cobb
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First off...if it's a family trip & other spouses went. You shouldn't have had to ask to go. 2nd...your husband sounds like a straight mom's boy. I think you should really think about the future of your marriage & I definitely wouldn't be considering kids at this point. It sounds like a cult.

davcarro-ripalda avatar
Dav Carro-Ripalda
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the rest of the brothers are allowed to bring spouses, but your husband not only not allowed but did not want to bring you with him? I am sorry, but that does not sound like he appreciates you or your company much. I would feel angry, rather then guilty.

danielledavis_2 avatar
Danielle Davis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your husband is a narcissist and it's obviously genetic. You should have been welcomed on those trips by his family when you were seriously dating or engaged, why tf does he go on vacation with his family without you when the other spouses/kids are there? That's just cruel. If you're already seeing a counselor, they're not doing their job. Get one that knows about abusive narcissistic relationships (and then if he insists on marriage counseling it gives a professional a rare whack at him and possibly gives your divorce lawyer a diagnosis to work with), get a divorce lawyer that knows about narcissists, and don't let this guy gaslight you any more than he already has. In fact, move out ASAP and go no-contact because (as you know) arguments only go in circles and you can't win. If you feel unsafe leaving, reach out to a trusted friend and local resources for abuse survivors that can help you.

ljbsullivan avatar
Linda Sullivan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is early on in your marriage? I'd think your spouse would be happy and proud to have you there. Shame on MIL and especially shame on spouse for not sticking up for you. I think you really need to reconsider staying in this marriage, this will never feel better. Now that you've run away they will expect you to leave when the going doesn't please you and may alway make it uncomfortable for you. If you have children you will be usurped they know best. And having a spouse who doesn't stand up for you will always make you feel alienated and alone.

cmkar avatar
CM Kar
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As his WIFE, she should have never been excluded from this vacation, and her disgusting, pathetic excuse of a husband should have never tolerated it. Sounds to me like the cord was never cut. He obviously never grew up. Man up and grow up, dude!

helencruise avatar
Helen cruise
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I too feel psychologically trapped in my marriage with a narcissist

williamsmith_8 avatar
William Smith
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's got to be more to this beyond "my husband's family are meanies to me." Maybe there's something about her they don't like? She's already shown to be really pushy; I've been around people like that and they end up obnoxious after five seconds. If the way she writes in these in posts is any guide she comes off as really self-centered, too; possibly a people-pleaser who tries too hard to be noticed.

libby6 avatar
Stargazer66
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ya shoulda changed the locks before he got home. Kick him to the curb and tell him to go back home to mommy and daddy and file for divorce now.

angelmist avatar
Angel Mist
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get out now while you still have some self respect and independence left. If you give him long enough he'll take all of it away.

sakurachan0486 avatar
Nenna Olumba
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There’s enough gaslight here to keep UK heated for the next 3 years. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩!!

dolly_ofthecowboy avatar
Dolly_of TheCowboy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do I get the feeling that there are class/caste/colour issues here and that the wife being ostracised is from a different background to the husband and his family? It seems like she was tolerable enough ( because of ?her personal wealth or her family has money/wealth he wanted access to) but either that has not been handed over as his family planned or they want more but the lemon is out of juice so now she can just be "the help" that he gets to bang

haroldramesy avatar
Harold Ramesy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Understanding Is Key In Solving Any & All Situationz.“Us” We“Our” Earth Rotatez From Communication. Step True Speak Truth Tomorrowz Due Also Come True.Whether Married Or Merged Into 1Love The Queen Bringz Peace & Love.The King Bringz Protection & Honor. My Better My Rib My Peace Is A Mirror Of Me. Shez Everything I’m Not & All That I Am. #FollowNoSuitz. No Chaoz Nor Violence Or Disrespect In Any Manner Should Become Non Or Be A Vent 4 Feelingz.. (Each 1 Teach 1) Find Wat You Seek, Producer Not Product/ Creator Not Consumer. SELF: Startz Eternally Lifez Foundation. Never Let The World Change Ur Heart Make Ur Heart Change The World. #Truly

evelyn_haskins_7 avatar
Evelyn Haskins
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get out of it, as soon as possible, Like Yesterday! That sort of male human and that sort of family never get better!

barbaraweisenburg avatar
Barbara Weisenburg
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would you continue to live with this man who has NO respect for you as his 'wife'? Divorce him ASAP!

luisgomez avatar
Luis Gomez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids are first, then it's spouse, then it's parents and siblings, then is everyone else. In that order.

williammclaurin avatar
William Mclaurin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave that POS and find someone who REALLY wants to share you with their family.

laina_alice avatar
Laina Alice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had a somewhat similar situation when I was married. BFF had a baby while pregnancy-challenged BIL and SIL were visiting. Came in excited about being an “aunt” but did not gush or carry on. Next day was family trip that I was told I wasn’t invited to as SIL was “upset” about my news and felt “uncomfortable “ with me being around. Loser ex didn’t say a word in my defense, took the kids, and went without me. That was the beginning of the end of that relationship! OP needs to seriously reconsider her marriage to this waste of protoplasm, cuz it isn’t gonna get better, only worse!

kat_11 avatar
Kat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Look, I suppose I need to let you know, dear writer, that the saying isn’t “all evidence to the country” the saying is “all evidence to the contrary”

kristenc avatar
Kristen C
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh she needs to run and fast. I would have left also. I felt sick to my stomach reading this. What a NARC!

lyricsmoothe avatar
Lyric Smoothe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First, take a moment to make sure you are okay. Step back from this situation and focus on your peace for one day or two. You need to think about this from a calm and unblurred view. You married the wrong man. We need to see red flags for what they are....teachers. it helps us not make the same mistakes. This man does not love or respect you. The tone of your self worth is set by you. How you value yourself will be how you order your next steps. Too often people write for advice and never take it. This one is plainly obvious. He is obviously comfortable with treating you like this because you allowed him to. If you are seeking validation and solace from strangers then you know the situation is bad. It is time you leave before hostility turns physical. If you don't respect yourself how can you expect him to do so. You might have been a victim initially but this isn't about fault it's about decisions. When you left the vacation you should have continued leaving but you did not. Let it go

olgag avatar
OG
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, come on, your Bible says "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." Genesis 2:24 etc. Run from this family, gurl.

olgag avatar
OG
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Come on, your Bible said, Genesis 2:24 etc, "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."

josepheichhorn avatar
Joseph Eichhorn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a horrible way to treat your wife. What a jerk! I don't blame her for leaving.

h_siniaho avatar
Hannah
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

HUGE GIGANTIC HORRIBLE RED FLAG!! LEAVE HIM LEAVE HIM LEAVE HIM!!!

googleuser_4 avatar
Google user
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I think.. The OP is downplaying how pushy she really is ; for an entire family to not want her around; in fear of ruining their family gatherings that have been happening a lot longer than she was in the picture...Entire families do not shun spouses typically, unless they are coming across as abnoxious to everyone..

dgirezha avatar
Dadirai Girezha
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never be with people who don't love and appreciate you for who u are.Its not about you but about them.u are in bad company. But l think it's by choice. This may not the first time u saw this and u ignored the red flags. Don't let these miserable people hurt u.

karolchciski avatar
Karol Chęciński
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave him right now. He is on for making you feel miserable many times still, even if unintentionally.

lynotto avatar
Lyn Otto
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it’s crazy,can’t believe it yes she needs to leave

lizratcliff18 avatar
Elizabeth Almaguer
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

kathrynphillips avatar
Kathryn Phillips
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have sometimes thought people divorce way too quickly. Now I don't know the dynamics and I'm only going on what I've read, but not what wasn't mentioned. I would be curious to know how were things between the two generally? When the two got engaged how was she treated? When they got married were the relatives kind to her? So, did red flags pop up, but were ignored. When she looked back things didn't add up. Was the reality a total shock coming out of left field. Did she really push too hard and was never aware of it? God knows I never want to walk up on someone talking about me. So after considering all of these possibilities if she was really truly unaware of these situation and there was never any red flags she should divorce him. He is more embarrassed than anything. The family will never forget this. I just don't see he loves her enough to stay. Go find someone else then.

cary1029 avatar
Caryle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah it sounds like a terrible relationship but could responders please stop saying hubby it’s a revolting word

wmdkitty avatar
Shawna Burt
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

IDK. I think ESH. Obviously Hubs and MIL suck for talking shirt about OP. But OP absolutely was listening on the conversation (eavesdropping) and deserves a little bit of flak for that.

epectasis avatar
Jos Tiguidou
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can't imagine that this is even close to real. 1) Married but barely knows the fam 2) Has kids but those kids weren't invited either Some folks have nothing better to do with their time I guess.

johnnyrandall1989 avatar
Johnny Randall
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like how people don't even know the full story yet are jumping on the woman's side automatically based on what SHE says. How do we know she's not a terrible person and that's she's given them a bad impression of her? She says they were only married a short time but doesn't say exactly how long. Why even bring up the other wives as if that is relevant? Maybe they have been married longer and are actually likeable people.

tamdan25 avatar
Words for wisdom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If this is someone that you really want to stay with, then inform him that you didn't appreciate him not standing up for you. Make him see and feel how you felt at that moment and no matter what don't back down. Inform him that if he doesn't have your back in this marriage then how are you all supposed to grow together. Stand your ground and every time that he tries to defend the situation at hand with his family just repeat but I'm your wife and I am your family. If things doesn't change within a certain amount of time and we're not talking about weeks, then I would reiterate again that you are his wife. I would even possibly consider that you both go seek a marriage counselor.

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Lori Harper
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If any of y'all watch I Love A Mama's Boy on Discover, this sounds exactly like Matt and his mom Kelly! There HAD to be red flags flying all over the place BEFORE she married this "prize". Not blaming her, but the rose-colored glasses of young love will do that to you (experience, here) NTA And throw the whole man and his cray-cray family OUT!

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Nevada Soto
Community Member
1 year ago

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Lauren Lail
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a kinda odd and I feel like we are only getting 5% of this big long drama infested story from the OP's side and a entire chunk is being left out. It just doesn't make sense at all. I'm left with more questions than answers. So many people so quickly recommend divorce and make the husband & his family look like the villain but I'm having a very hard time believing the "wife" is the actual victim here and more the problem. That's just me though because if you're going to reddit for marriage advice with a very small portion of a huge problem...you're playing a victim looking for validation because you're probably causing more problems than trying to find a solution. Let's pull up our big girl panties and act like women! Not teenagers making everyone pick a side! OP sounds moore like the wife that wants her husband to pick her our his family. That's not right. OP is the red flag and I can't believe most women on here can't see that. I literally saw right through her reddit post.

fila11 avatar
Pete Roz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

as BILL BURR once said -> but what has lead to such situation? we don't know what happened before, why they behave towards her like that... all I know is "the coin always has two sides" and we learned about one side only... and ofc it will look bad... it's supposed to look bad on husband's family... women are great manipulators, when they need to 🤷🏻‍♂️ idk, just saying... it's easy to judge and jump to conclusions, but what do we know? the picture is unveiled... maybe we know only 15 or 50% of it, yet everyone is a perfectly informed judge on this... yeah is it the same way you judged c19 or ukraine-russia situation? 🤦‍♂️ you behave in the similar manner as people who judged certain man called Jesus... 🤔😔

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josegljr
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she is the bad one. Hear me out, leaving without saying anything is just as bad as them not wanting you. I know not being wanted somewhere is a horrible feeling. But you should have said bye to someone. There couldn't all have not wanted you there. It was a family reunion. Are you not family. Say by to a sister in law or one of their spouses. Anyone... Your problem was the mother and the son. The son is going to be a lot like the mother if they are bad mouthing you like that. So don't say bye to them but the father or someone else there had to have been feeling the same way when they joined the family. You just didn't care and wanted to play victim. To be bigger then those that treat you badly you must turn the other cheek. Suck it up and never go again or leave but say goodbye. You where let into the house at least. Show them more respect than they did you.

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Ibbie Ikenzebates
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't believe all the careless people advocating divorce. There are two sides to every story people! Grow up!

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Cathy Hughes
Community Member
1 year ago

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If you have to ask if you’re the AH then you already know. You’re just venting and will never leave. 5 years from now you will be 3 kids in, still disrespected by him and his family and being treated like c**p in general. And you will still stay. Take a serious look at your future and stop letting him make decisions about your happiness. Stop voluntarily being their doormat. Find your courage and self respect and get the hell out of there.

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Debrina Blackmoon
Community Member
1 year ago

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SHITPILE BITCHFUNGUS VILE TRAGIC ACCIDENT DISGUSTING PISSANT IMMATURE BULLY DICKWEED LOSER PSYCHO ASSHOLECURSE FUCKTARD EVIL CUNTVIRUS WASTES OF ATOMS+!!!

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j T
Community Member
1 year ago

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Females chose to put themselves in these situations because it gives them an excuse to play victim and society will eat it up without seeing the big picture of how it's was her choice and the man was like that before she married him..they do anything and everything to get attention and there is no limit or line they will cross to get it.. Any excuse to feign victim hood while being a typical modern female and not be held accountable for her actions or take responsibility for her life choices

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Emanuel Iordache
Community Member
1 year ago

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😂 😂 😂 😂 Oh it is the husband's fault. 😂 😂 😂 Another story where a womem takes no accountability for her actions. 😂 😂 😂

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Tamra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're pathetic. If course it's the husband's fault. He was in the wrong 100%. She took accountability by leaving. Try a little harder to not be so sexist.

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Sunny Skies
Community Member
1 year ago

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But, why is it okay to invite yourself along to something you're clearly not invited to? Had she given her partner the space to have his own relationship with his family, this never would have happened. ESH.

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lazypanda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what?! there were other spouses there! and also, she's his wife not his two week long girlfriend! it shouldn't feel like a burden to him to invite his wife to a family gathering!

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Dee Tag
Community Member
1 year ago

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I get the feeling she is black and his family are not. Can't understand why she would have to invite herself to a family gathering.

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Luke Rodrigues
Community Member
1 year ago

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Ya know who the real a*****e is? Every person on this page who is screaming for a divorce. What this marriage is in need of is intervention, not divorce. Everyone who witnessed the confirmation of their union needs to step in and uphold their oath to support these two in times of difficulty. Only a juvenile idiot would call for a divorce after reading something like this. It's pathetic.

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