Wife Asks If It Is Okay To Warn Husband That She Will Leave Him If He Becomes More Obese
The traditional vow the bride and the groom give one another goes something like this: “I take you to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death.”
But what if you are really annoyed that your spouse is getting sick and they aren’t doing anything to prevent it when they can? Is that enough of a reason to leave them? This woman online asks the internet if she would be unreasonable to threaten to divorce her husband if he became morbidly obese.
More info: Mumsnet
Woman noticed her husband has been gaining weight and wants to tell him that if he ends up like his dad, she will leave him
Image credits: Steve Baker (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster (OP) was a father-in-law who is morbidly obese and has so much excess weight that he finds it hard to walk. This concept is hard for the woman to wrap her head around as she likes to be active and couldn’t imagine doing that to one’s body.
She thinks that she couldn’t stay with a person who does that to themselves and is worried that her husband is actually going in that direction because of his unhealthy eating habits.
The husband’s dad is morbidly obese and has a lot of issues related to that, including difficulty to walk
Image credits: LongStoryShorty
The wife will cook healthy food for the whole family, but she never sees her husband eating it, although he will compliment her cooking. He will buy unhealthy food when the family goes out and because he finishes his job later than his wife has dinner, he will order takeout when he comes back home.
It’s a guess, but the wife believes the man’s BMI is about 34 and he carries his weight in his mid waist. The woman wanted to specify that she doesn’t have a problem with how her husband looks, and she never comments on it, because she knows her husband must feel self-conscious about it as when they first met, the man was in good shape because of weightlifting. She actually tries to compliment him whenever she can.
The woman, on the other hand, likes to lead an active life and can’t imagine her husband turning into his dad
Image credits: LongStoryShorty
What the wife has a problem with is that her husband will eat unhealthy food and won’t eat the food that she prepared. His excuse is that he feels a lot of pressure at work, so unhealthy food and alcohol help him relieve stress.
It may be a temporary solution, but in the long run, the OP believes her husband will ruin his health and she wouldn’t be able to bear it. Besides the problems that his weight will cause, the husband has other health concerns that he is ignoring and doesn’t listen when the OP tells him to take care of them.
She tries to cook healthy meals for the family and her husband always compliments her cooking but the woman never sees him eating it
Image credits: LongStoryShorty
Image credits: Magnus D (not the actual photo)
People in the comments agreed that the OP’s husband might have an issue with food, but they noticed that the woman also had a distorted relationship with it. She mentions that she will have dinner early and generally won’t eat in the evenings. She will eat before going out so as to not buy unhealthy food on the way.
It wasn’t what the woman was eating that concerned the readers, but the way she talked about it. They felt that the OP might be too strict with it and pretty intense, and on top of that, making food less fun.
The man doesn’t eat dinner with the family because he comes back home later so he usually orders takeout and his choices aren’t the healthiest ones
Image credits: LongStoryShorty
Regarding the divorce over being obese, people had varying opinions. Some of them believed that seeing someone ruin their health is not easy and if she can’t handle it, she can divorce her husband. They added that it’s not the OP’s job to make her husband healthy and questioned whether wanting someone to change still means you love them for who they are.
Others believed that the couple should try to work it out and encouraging your spouse to take care of their health is a good thing. They also suggested that husband’s overeating may be a psychological problem that needs to be acknowledged and treated.
Not only does the husband return home later, but his job is pretty stressful and he wants to relax by eating comfort food and drinking alcohol
Image credits: LongStoryShorty
Whether the OP is concerned about her husband’s health or looks or is offended that he doesn’t eat her cooked meals, obesity is a real health concern that can lead to a bunch of problems. Not even obesity, but just being overweight can have a big effect on your longevity and quality of life.
The CDC defines being overweight when a person’s BMI is 25 or higher and an obese person has a BMI of 30 and higher. The risks of having excess weight include high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, a stroke, breathing problems, certain types of cancer, body pain and others.
His weight is not the only health concern as the woman revealed that the man has other issues but won’t take care of it
Image credits: LongStoryShorty
Image credits: Raita Futo (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LongStoryShorty
All of these problems lower one’s quality of life, so in turn, it affects your mental health and can lead to mental disorders. According to bariatric surgeon Dr Manish Motwani, 70-80% of obese patients have mental health issues. But the cause and effect can be the opposite and mental illness may be the reason why a person is overweight.
The National Council Of Aging agrees that “The link between obesity and mental health issues is not a one-way street.” If you experience stress or have depression, you may use food to cope and the excess calories will eventually turn into fat. Serotonin deficiency and anxiety are known to cause cravings and usually they aren’t very healthy, which also contributes to weight gain. People with depression often don’t have motivation to be active, so not burning those calories is one of the ways for weight to get out of control.
Despite his weight, the wife still finds him attractive and never mentions his weight to him because she knows it can be a painful topic to talk about
Image credits: LongStoryShorty
If we recognize that obesity is also an illness like any other, it can be treated with dietary changes and by involving some exercise in your life. It’s easier said than done, especially when we have in mind that obese people often have poor mental health.
Mayo Clinic suggests that “A behavior modification program can help you make lifestyle changes and lose weight and keep it off. Steps to take include examining your current habits to find out what factors, stresses or situations may have contributed to your obesity.”
It’s not easy to do that for yourself, so counseling and support groups may be of big help not only to find out the root problem but to keep yourself on track.
But on the flip side, she can’t bear the thought of living with someone that is morbidly obese
Image credits: LongStoryShorty
Sometimes we don’t think about what a person is going through because we’ve never experienced it ourselves and if that person doesn’t speak their mind, it’s easy to judge them. Do you think that the OP should be more supportive of her husband and help him to care about his health, both mental and physical? Or do you think that the man actually doesn’t want to be helped and the woman would have a better life without him? Let us know in the comments.
People in the comments had varying opinions on whether the woman is entitled to divorce her husband over his weight, but they pointed out she has some dietary issues as well
It sounds like they both have issues with food. The husband having a takeaway and alcohol every day to relive stress is a big red flag to me, could be a sign of depression or addiction (to food or alcohol or both). No amount of talking to him about his weight is going to help if it's an addiction or depression issue. She also sounds very controlling when it comes to her own diet. I think they both need to step back, look at their habits and what is driving them to eat/drink the way they do.
Agreed. I can't imagine this man is not depressed. She's very focused on his weight and behaviors, but no recognition that he's clearly struggling. They need counseling.
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Swap the views of this couple, and contemplate how this thread would've played out.
I understand her concerns and I believe they are valid, HOWEVER, I was quite shocked at how she just went on and on and on and.... ON. I literally just started scrolling until I finally reached the end because her post didn't seem to end. She has a serious complex about food. He does too. I think they'd both benefit from some good ole grown-up communication and perhaps a little therapy because it's much easier to hear the truth from a third party person.
They both have food issues. Him because he can't adhere to a normal and/or healthy diet and thus is putting on pounds, and her because she is SO focussed on food and weight in general. Wanting to lose weight before a holiday to 'look good' is really weird to me. Then again, needing alcohol and fastfood to relax is also a flag.
Since when is risotto a health food? Properly made risotto is delicious, but it's also a calorie bomb. What does he eat instead that's worse than risotto? I know I cannot have risotto often, maybe once a month at the most. Too many carbs and calories. But I make real Italian risotto, with stock, wine, butter, etc. Maybe we have different cooking standards.
I would imagine that homemade risotto is way healthier than most takeaways. Can't see this dude ordering a salad.
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Both of these people need therapy, and they should work together with a dietician, because this is very destructive for both of them. It's also got to be affecting the relationship that their children have with food. Shaming people for their weight never helps them.. Threatening divorce over his weight or "I'm just worried about your health" is unlikely to help, and will probrably make things worse.
'i'm just worried about your health' is just soft worded code for 'if you get fat I'll get gone'. It is self-righteous fat shaming, before he's even fat. So shallow.
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I think she's missing a big thing here. His job is suoer stressful and taxing and he can't cope with it. They need to make a life change. Yes, him being better about his eating will help but it's hard to do when you are depressed, he's just not going to be able to do it because he never learned coping skills. He needs a job change, needs to be eating with his family, hot fresh food (lots of people don't like to eat and reheat leftovers every day, even if the cooking is good, it's not the same). And maybe even seeing a therapist or good dietician for help if he needs it.
Mmm... I think if my husband became obese and it was impacting on his health and his ability to participate in family events I would probably have something to say. I will always find him sexy because I love his personality but I also love our lifestyle together and if he was obese we would loose it. I don't think I would threaten divorce, but I think it would make for a very unhappy marriage.
I'm on Reddit quite often, and NOBODY on there can spell lose/loose correctly. They also spell "customer" as "costumer", and say "payed" instead of "paid". It drives me bonkers.
Yet those kind of people would tell woman they get a loose vagina from having too many partners... /s
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Food appears to be a symptom of an underlying condition. It really sounds like they need to address the levels of stress the guy is experiencing. He needs less stress, AND better ways of dealing with the stress he is experiencing. Food and alcohol sounds like comfort items for him, and they are adding more stress rather than reducing it.
I'm a fat person and I can say that you aren't in the wrong for wanting to live a full life. The problem is that people believe in mental illnesses until you show them a morbidly fat person-they're just lazy, have no discipline, you get an eyeroll, etc. They gained 20 pounds once and were able to lose it and it was 'hard' but because they can everyone can. I've known heroin addicts who have an easier time quitting drugs than quitting food addiction. Absolutely no one *wants* to be fat to the point it affects their lives negatively. They simply don't understand this addiction. They think the way their brains work is the same as someone else. It's as insulting to me to tell me I'm not disciplined as it is to tell someone with depression they should smile more. They're the same people who say 'just quit drinking' to an alcoholic. (1)
(2) That being said, in sickness + in health means he could have gotten into a car reck and become disabled. You could get MS. You never know what might change your lives. Were you only going to love him if he was thin? Or active? Or are you maybe thinking he did this to himself and it's different? Whatever your thoughts, if you love the man, talk to him and tell him how important this is to you. If he loves you he might see that it's something that isn't just affecting his life but the life he agreed to have with you. Maybe then he'll recognizing he's got to figure out what is happening and see a professional. But he's got to want that and people with depression don't always want to leave that place because there's a strange sort of safety in it. If he refuses or doesn't take it seriously then you have every right to live your life and leave. If he's willing to get divorced over his weight that's a pretty good indicator that he's in a place where he needs outside help.
Load More Replies... I can understand her concern about her husband's health, but honestly hasn't she heard that the only person you can change is yourself? She's probably making her husband worse with her (what sounds like) nagging. He has issues if he's using food and alcohol to solve his problems, but from the sounds of it she has her own issues around self image and food herself... wonder who the kids are coping?
Something not being mentioned here, the guy used to be a weight lifter. That burns massive amounts of calories. The guy is eating calories like he is still body building, but not burning the calories by working out every day. That said, they both have issues that they need professional help on, and they might need to look at their lifestyle to see if they can adjust so the guy can get a less stressful job even if it pays less.
Compulsive overeating is as much a serious, destructive illness as alcoholism and drug addiction. While most sympathize with drug addicts and alcoholics, compulsive overeaters are treated with disdain and disgust. Unlike alcohol and drugs, one cannot quit food cold turkey and resolve never to eat again. It's only in recent years that researchers have come to see just how difficult it is to lose the compulsion and the weight because there are chemical differences in the brain from people who don't overeat. Would you leave your spouse because he had a, say, genetic illness that was difficult to treat?
I don't think she has a problem with food like many are saying. She very well might, but not eating past the evening is a pretty normal behavior. Eating before going out is *slightly* more unusual, but not so much so that it's problematic. Using techniques to boost self-control when weight management is important to you is a good habit to get into. I think we just don't want to moralize weight because the world at large still tells us it's a moral issue.
Addiction (and it sounds like addiction) is something that breaks apart many relationships. This is not about someone getting a bit chubby, but about someone being on a course of self-destruction. They really neeed to takcle the underlying issues of the anti-stress eating. I have the same problem and once you pass 50 is creates SERIOUS issues. Body psoitivity is all ncie and well for someone who is young, but when we get old we cannot be severly overweight or we lose all quality of life. (And I mean SEVERLY, not being a bit chubby)
My thing is we are only focusing on the eating and the weight. She sounds snobbish and controlling, but she may have real food issues there. He sounds like he is too stressed to listen. While most food issues are psychological, can we address the fact that they don't seem to spend ANY time together, and what time they must sounds as if she already has it planned out?
My husband did/said this to me when I gained weight the last time I went back to my home country for three months. I’ve always been skinny, like even when I was pregnant with my kids, I don’t put on much weight. I considered it good when I get to 100lbs. When I gained 10-15 lbs, he said I’m fat and unrecognizable. He said if I don’t lose the weight he will divorce me. Like wtf that’s so shallow. I wasn’t morbidly obese tho. I was still skinny but with noticeable belly.
That's not just shallow, my friend, but borderline abusive. He's basically telling you that you need to look a specific way to please him, or he won't love you. That's pretty awful.
Load More Replies... In this kind of situation, sitting him down and sharing OP's concerns seems best without the threat of divorce. I also would suggest not making the weight the issue. The real issue seems to be depression or addiction. Drinking every day does not necessarily make someone an addict. It's more about their attitude toward drinking. If he can't or won't take a day off from drinking, then that's probably alcoholism. If that's the case, I'd suggest OP get to an AlAnon meeting. Either way, this guy needs a major life change. He's clearly struggling with stress and needs help. I'd recommend OP go to him with the mindset of being concerned about his stress and being willing to make changes to reduce his stress. "I see how stressed you are every day, I really appreciate all you do for us. I want you to know you don't have to shoulder it yourself. I'm here and I want to help you. Let me know what we can do together to reduce the stress you deal with every day." If he doesn't respond to that, well...then it's more about his attitude than his weight.
Sounds to be like they both have eating disorders. He just doesn’t care and she obsessively cares. No one should stay with someone that doesn’t make them happy or care about their health, but she should look into mirror before she tries to insult others.
His issues most likely trigger her reaction. I'm married to someone who is obese and food-addicted (but trying hard to lose weight and stay healthy). I've had to be a lot more rigid about not keeping sweets around the house and about healthy food BECAUSE of my partner's food issues.
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Totally okay for her to say that and feel that way. I say this is a fat man. I exercise all the time, eat healthy for the most part but I'm overweight because I overeat even when I do eat healthy. Thankfully, it doesn't affect my ability to do stuff, likely because I exercise regularly. Regardless, if you're unhappy then you shouldn't stay, especially if it affects their ability to do simple things. I wouldn't want the same.
Don't care, tbh. But - why can't people learn the difference between loose and lose?
Welp, eating like a pig and expecting people to be okay with your addiction...
I don't think the wife is shallow. She's concerned about his health. And her own, in a way. If husband keeps going the way he's going, he's going to be immobile and need a LOT of extra care, which the wife is probably going to have to give him. It's not how I'd want to spend my life. I know that the saying goes "in sickness and in health" but I think that applies to sickness that can't be cured or that has no real "cause"... not that this man is slowly killing himself with his habits.
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First: her risotto must be terrible, because a good risotto has a lot of butter in it. Second: the point is not the takeaway, the point is that this guy comes home at 20pm and has to eat alone while his kids are already asleep and his wife talks about awful risotto? It sounds to me that he eats and drinks beacuse is slightly depressed and I don't blame him. 20pm is a reasonable time to have dinner and the family should just wait for him to come home. I get her concerns, but she sounds very rigid and she's seeing the whole problem from a wrong perspective.
it's not about him getting too fat, it's about him actively sabotaging his health & quality of life in a way that'll have a huge impact on his family. his wife will have to slow down to accommodate his struggle with walking, not be able to swim with him if he becomes too self-conscious due to his weight, & may have to put up with an obnoxious sleep apnea machine at night if his obesity starts to impact his breathing. his kids won't be able to run & play with dad, they won't get piggyback rides or pushed on the swing, they won't get to go on family bike rides or hikes. & all of them have to watch their family member suffer through joint pain, breathing troubles, heart conditions, possibly an early death. it's like how gambling addictions & hoarding are mental health issues, but being married to someone with them can be excruciating if they refuse help. same with a food addiction. it doesn't mean the wife is being "conditional" with her love, it means she needs to put her family first because her husband's choices are hurting everyone else & he's refusing to get better for the good of himself & the family.
Load More Replies... It sounds like they both have issues with food. The husband having a takeaway and alcohol every day to relive stress is a big red flag to me, could be a sign of depression or addiction (to food or alcohol or both). No amount of talking to him about his weight is going to help if it's an addiction or depression issue. She also sounds very controlling when it comes to her own diet. I think they both need to step back, look at their habits and what is driving them to eat/drink the way they do.
Agreed. I can't imagine this man is not depressed. She's very focused on his weight and behaviors, but no recognition that he's clearly struggling. They need counseling.
Load More Replies... Swap the views of this couple, and contemplate how this thread would've played out.
I understand her concerns and I believe they are valid, HOWEVER, I was quite shocked at how she just went on and on and on and.... ON. I literally just started scrolling until I finally reached the end because her post didn't seem to end. She has a serious complex about food. He does too. I think they'd both benefit from some good ole grown-up communication and perhaps a little therapy because it's much easier to hear the truth from a third party person.
They both have food issues. Him because he can't adhere to a normal and/or healthy diet and thus is putting on pounds, and her because she is SO focussed on food and weight in general. Wanting to lose weight before a holiday to 'look good' is really weird to me. Then again, needing alcohol and fastfood to relax is also a flag.
Since when is risotto a health food? Properly made risotto is delicious, but it's also a calorie bomb. What does he eat instead that's worse than risotto? I know I cannot have risotto often, maybe once a month at the most. Too many carbs and calories. But I make real Italian risotto, with stock, wine, butter, etc. Maybe we have different cooking standards.
I would imagine that homemade risotto is way healthier than most takeaways. Can't see this dude ordering a salad.
Load More Replies... Both of these people need therapy, and they should work together with a dietician, because this is very destructive for both of them. It's also got to be affecting the relationship that their children have with food. Shaming people for their weight never helps them.. Threatening divorce over his weight or "I'm just worried about your health" is unlikely to help, and will probrably make things worse.
'i'm just worried about your health' is just soft worded code for 'if you get fat I'll get gone'. It is self-righteous fat shaming, before he's even fat. So shallow.
Load More Replies... I think she's missing a big thing here. His job is suoer stressful and taxing and he can't cope with it. They need to make a life change. Yes, him being better about his eating will help but it's hard to do when you are depressed, he's just not going to be able to do it because he never learned coping skills. He needs a job change, needs to be eating with his family, hot fresh food (lots of people don't like to eat and reheat leftovers every day, even if the cooking is good, it's not the same). And maybe even seeing a therapist or good dietician for help if he needs it.
Mmm... I think if my husband became obese and it was impacting on his health and his ability to participate in family events I would probably have something to say. I will always find him sexy because I love his personality but I also love our lifestyle together and if he was obese we would loose it. I don't think I would threaten divorce, but I think it would make for a very unhappy marriage.
I'm on Reddit quite often, and NOBODY on there can spell lose/loose correctly. They also spell "customer" as "costumer", and say "payed" instead of "paid". It drives me bonkers.
Yet those kind of people would tell woman they get a loose vagina from having too many partners... /s
Load More Replies... Food appears to be a symptom of an underlying condition. It really sounds like they need to address the levels of stress the guy is experiencing. He needs less stress, AND better ways of dealing with the stress he is experiencing. Food and alcohol sounds like comfort items for him, and they are adding more stress rather than reducing it.
I'm a fat person and I can say that you aren't in the wrong for wanting to live a full life. The problem is that people believe in mental illnesses until you show them a morbidly fat person-they're just lazy, have no discipline, you get an eyeroll, etc. They gained 20 pounds once and were able to lose it and it was 'hard' but because they can everyone can. I've known heroin addicts who have an easier time quitting drugs than quitting food addiction. Absolutely no one *wants* to be fat to the point it affects their lives negatively. They simply don't understand this addiction. They think the way their brains work is the same as someone else. It's as insulting to me to tell me I'm not disciplined as it is to tell someone with depression they should smile more. They're the same people who say 'just quit drinking' to an alcoholic. (1)
(2) That being said, in sickness + in health means he could have gotten into a car reck and become disabled. You could get MS. You never know what might change your lives. Were you only going to love him if he was thin? Or active? Or are you maybe thinking he did this to himself and it's different? Whatever your thoughts, if you love the man, talk to him and tell him how important this is to you. If he loves you he might see that it's something that isn't just affecting his life but the life he agreed to have with you. Maybe then he'll recognizing he's got to figure out what is happening and see a professional. But he's got to want that and people with depression don't always want to leave that place because there's a strange sort of safety in it. If he refuses or doesn't take it seriously then you have every right to live your life and leave. If he's willing to get divorced over his weight that's a pretty good indicator that he's in a place where he needs outside help.
Load More Replies... I can understand her concern about her husband's health, but honestly hasn't she heard that the only person you can change is yourself? She's probably making her husband worse with her (what sounds like) nagging. He has issues if he's using food and alcohol to solve his problems, but from the sounds of it she has her own issues around self image and food herself... wonder who the kids are coping?
Something not being mentioned here, the guy used to be a weight lifter. That burns massive amounts of calories. The guy is eating calories like he is still body building, but not burning the calories by working out every day. That said, they both have issues that they need professional help on, and they might need to look at their lifestyle to see if they can adjust so the guy can get a less stressful job even if it pays less.
Compulsive overeating is as much a serious, destructive illness as alcoholism and drug addiction. While most sympathize with drug addicts and alcoholics, compulsive overeaters are treated with disdain and disgust. Unlike alcohol and drugs, one cannot quit food cold turkey and resolve never to eat again. It's only in recent years that researchers have come to see just how difficult it is to lose the compulsion and the weight because there are chemical differences in the brain from people who don't overeat. Would you leave your spouse because he had a, say, genetic illness that was difficult to treat?
I don't think she has a problem with food like many are saying. She very well might, but not eating past the evening is a pretty normal behavior. Eating before going out is *slightly* more unusual, but not so much so that it's problematic. Using techniques to boost self-control when weight management is important to you is a good habit to get into. I think we just don't want to moralize weight because the world at large still tells us it's a moral issue.
Addiction (and it sounds like addiction) is something that breaks apart many relationships. This is not about someone getting a bit chubby, but about someone being on a course of self-destruction. They really neeed to takcle the underlying issues of the anti-stress eating. I have the same problem and once you pass 50 is creates SERIOUS issues. Body psoitivity is all ncie and well for someone who is young, but when we get old we cannot be severly overweight or we lose all quality of life. (And I mean SEVERLY, not being a bit chubby)
My thing is we are only focusing on the eating and the weight. She sounds snobbish and controlling, but she may have real food issues there. He sounds like he is too stressed to listen. While most food issues are psychological, can we address the fact that they don't seem to spend ANY time together, and what time they must sounds as if she already has it planned out?
My husband did/said this to me when I gained weight the last time I went back to my home country for three months. I’ve always been skinny, like even when I was pregnant with my kids, I don’t put on much weight. I considered it good when I get to 100lbs. When I gained 10-15 lbs, he said I’m fat and unrecognizable. He said if I don’t lose the weight he will divorce me. Like wtf that’s so shallow. I wasn’t morbidly obese tho. I was still skinny but with noticeable belly.
That's not just shallow, my friend, but borderline abusive. He's basically telling you that you need to look a specific way to please him, or he won't love you. That's pretty awful.
Load More Replies... In this kind of situation, sitting him down and sharing OP's concerns seems best without the threat of divorce. I also would suggest not making the weight the issue. The real issue seems to be depression or addiction. Drinking every day does not necessarily make someone an addict. It's more about their attitude toward drinking. If he can't or won't take a day off from drinking, then that's probably alcoholism. If that's the case, I'd suggest OP get to an AlAnon meeting. Either way, this guy needs a major life change. He's clearly struggling with stress and needs help. I'd recommend OP go to him with the mindset of being concerned about his stress and being willing to make changes to reduce his stress. "I see how stressed you are every day, I really appreciate all you do for us. I want you to know you don't have to shoulder it yourself. I'm here and I want to help you. Let me know what we can do together to reduce the stress you deal with every day." If he doesn't respond to that, well...then it's more about his attitude than his weight.
Sounds to be like they both have eating disorders. He just doesn’t care and she obsessively cares. No one should stay with someone that doesn’t make them happy or care about their health, but she should look into mirror before she tries to insult others.
His issues most likely trigger her reaction. I'm married to someone who is obese and food-addicted (but trying hard to lose weight and stay healthy). I've had to be a lot more rigid about not keeping sweets around the house and about healthy food BECAUSE of my partner's food issues.
Load More Replies... Totally okay for her to say that and feel that way. I say this is a fat man. I exercise all the time, eat healthy for the most part but I'm overweight because I overeat even when I do eat healthy. Thankfully, it doesn't affect my ability to do stuff, likely because I exercise regularly. Regardless, if you're unhappy then you shouldn't stay, especially if it affects their ability to do simple things. I wouldn't want the same.
Don't care, tbh. But - why can't people learn the difference between loose and lose?
Welp, eating like a pig and expecting people to be okay with your addiction...
I don't think the wife is shallow. She's concerned about his health. And her own, in a way. If husband keeps going the way he's going, he's going to be immobile and need a LOT of extra care, which the wife is probably going to have to give him. It's not how I'd want to spend my life. I know that the saying goes "in sickness and in health" but I think that applies to sickness that can't be cured or that has no real "cause"... not that this man is slowly killing himself with his habits.
Load More Replies... First: her risotto must be terrible, because a good risotto has a lot of butter in it. Second: the point is not the takeaway, the point is that this guy comes home at 20pm and has to eat alone while his kids are already asleep and his wife talks about awful risotto? It sounds to me that he eats and drinks beacuse is slightly depressed and I don't blame him. 20pm is a reasonable time to have dinner and the family should just wait for him to come home. I get her concerns, but she sounds very rigid and she's seeing the whole problem from a wrong perspective.
it's not about him getting too fat, it's about him actively sabotaging his health & quality of life in a way that'll have a huge impact on his family. his wife will have to slow down to accommodate his struggle with walking, not be able to swim with him if he becomes too self-conscious due to his weight, & may have to put up with an obnoxious sleep apnea machine at night if his obesity starts to impact his breathing. his kids won't be able to run & play with dad, they won't get piggyback rides or pushed on the swing, they won't get to go on family bike rides or hikes. & all of them have to watch their family member suffer through joint pain, breathing troubles, heart conditions, possibly an early death. it's like how gambling addictions & hoarding are mental health issues, but being married to someone with them can be excruciating if they refuse help. same with a food addiction. it doesn't mean the wife is being "conditional" with her love, it means she needs to put her family first because her husband's choices are hurting everyone else & he's refusing to get better for the good of himself & the family.
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