Husband Insists Wife Has A Natural Birth Without Epidural When She Wants A Water Birth, Says His Word Is Final
Interview
It’s no secret that parenthood is an adventure that requires a lot of planning. Many soon-to-be moms and dads read countless books on “what to expect when you’re expecting” that offer advice and prepare them for the miracle of pregnancy. However, some things there do get left out. Like how to react when your SO completely disregards your wishes on how you want to deliver your child.
One woman who was trying to get pregnant found herself in a precarious situation after discussing childbirth options with her husband. In a post on the online parenting forum Mumsnet, the woman explained how she and her partner got into a big argument after telling him she prefers to have a water birth.
“He believes that the more pain you go through, the better your bond with your baby,” the author wrote. Thinking that the decision on where and how she should give birth is her choice, the woman felt surprised by her husband’s strong opinion and turned to the internet for guidance. Read on for the full story.
A woman shared her story on how her husband told her he would never forgive her if she has a water birth
Image credits: Sharon McCutcheon (not the actual photo)
She wonders whether she was being “unreasonable” to think that the way she delivers her child is her decision
Image credits: soshnomore
Marley Hall, a midwife, Instagram content creator, and author of Midwife Marley’s Guide For Everyone: Pregnancy, Birth and the 4th Trimester, told Bored Panda that there are many benefits of delivering a child via water birth.
“It may help to speed up labor (often because of the positioning of the mother) and relieve tension and pain,” she said. In the water, your body feels lighter and you can move more freely. Also, babies are usually calmer due to the gentle transition into the water.
Hall mentioned that according to research, water birth “can reduce the risk of significant (3rd and 4th degree) perineal tearing”. Also, studies have revealed “a reduction in meconium (baby’s first poo) in the amniotic fluid of mothers who have waterbirths.” Lastly, there are lower rates of emergency caesareans.
“I have helped around 700 babies into the world and a good portion of these have been via water birth,” she told us.
When it comes to the situation described in the post on Mumsnet, Marley Hall thinks that the husband’s reaction is probably coming from a place of fear and lack of understanding/research. “His assumption that more pain = better bonding is just not true at all,” she explained.
“His comment about ‘normal birth on land’ working for many years fails to recognize that women are all different, they have different experiences, wants, and needs. Perhaps he has a genuine fear of water birth but if that is the case, I would advise him to do some research on the facts and perhaps listen to some of the stories of couples who have had positive water births.”
Hall explained that ultimately the last word does lay with the person giving birth in terms of where and how they want to do it, and the woman deserves to be listened to. If her partner “has any genuine reasons for concern or fears over the health of the mother or baby giving birth in the water, perhaps visiting some evidence-based sources would help to put his mind at rest.”
She continued: “The husband should also realize that when a woman gives birth in an environment that is ideal for her, she is likely to be calmer, making complications less likely which will also have an impact on the baby.”
“During a water birth, the mother and baby are monitored closely so if there are any signs of things becoming complicated, the midwife will simply help her out of the water for further support/interventions if needed,” Hall added. So try to seek out positive water birth stories and do your research. And “if your partner is worried, talk them through together, referring to what the evidence says.”
Here’s how people reacted to the woman’s tough situation
It's a pool of hopefully soothing water. Designed to help cope with the pain, not a bath of anaesthetic (sadly). I would be thinking very carefully before making this man the father of my children. What other weird rules will he have up his sleeve? Besides I have read that a traumatic birth can hinder a mother bonding with her baby. He should go back to his cave.
Throw the wole man away. Preferably into a pool of water since he hates them so much.
"The more pain you go through the better the bond with the baby". I've never given birth but I have a feeling that an easy and (somewhat) painless birth would help me bond a hell of a lot more with my kid than the opposite.
Frankly, there is much advice on what facilitates bonding and how to mitigate those situations that hinder it (modern hospitals for example allow instant bonding after c-sections while the surgery is still going). The most important advice to me, however, seems to be: no pressure!
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I really hope that this woman reconsiders having a child with this abusive jerk. And divorces his ass as soon as possible. He wants her to be in extra pain? What kind if psyco is that?
I went to the original mumsnet post (link is in the opening paragraph at the very top), and found out this is actually from 2019. She got 649 replies, took everyone's advice & divorced the idiot!
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She did. Divorced him after getting 649 replies to get rid of the POS.
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Don't have a child with this man. He is obviously totally ignorant as well as domineering. You would be allowed no say in the child's upbringing with him, and probably his family as well, making all decisions.
Not before hooking him up to one of those machines that can simulate birthing pain. Preferably the kind you feel in your spine and the legs.
Load More Replies... She is giving birth, she makes the decisions. Great if he can comfort her and great if they can review the studies, so that they can prepare informed decisions together. And these should be based on her and the baby's needs first, scientific advice second, and not very much following for a long tike after that. Myths without empathy have no place in this, and so doesn't a husband who will not accept that childbirth is highly individual and easily traumatizing by the medical situation alone. No emotional burdens from doing it "properly" are needed. His most important job is to affirm to her that she is doing everything in the best possible way at all times.
By the way, do not get me wrong. Birthing easily can be emotionally extreme to the father, too...the exhaustion, seeing her suffer, the feeling of not being able to really contribute. And of course does he have the right to worry for his soon-to-be-born. What stories like the one told here show is a lack of empathy, though. I believe that couples can grow in such situations, or they can shatter on the mere way to them. My heartfelt wishes to all those who manage to grow together, and my wishes for best of luck to those who struggle.
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This was the update ten months after the initial post: "I'm sure nobody is wondering what happened, but I enjoy seeing updates on reddit so thought I'd add a quick one. I didn't get pregnant. I finally ended our marriage about 6 months after this post (this was the tip of a very large and emotionally abusive iceberg), and we'll hopefully be officially divorced next month. All I can say is the red flags that everyone else can see, are very easy to ignore when you're being told you're the one with the problem." So GOOD FOR HER!
YES!!! And she is unfortunately right about the red flags, I guess - everybody else sees them -prominently waving from each and every rooftop - but the person who is deeply involved might just not be able to look up high enough.
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DO. NOT. HAVE. A. CHILD. WITH. THIS. MAN. What an absolute asshole, he has no right to make that decision for you and that manipulation is a HUGE red flag.
DO NOT have a child with this man, because the reasoning that 'something has worked for 1000s of years so why change it' could also apply to child deaths and disease (which techically don't 'work' but you hopefully get my point). Also, YOU'RE the one having to push out a baby if you get pregnant, not him. Get yourself a man who respects your choices in something he has very little influence in (except having sex).
Please have your children with someone else! Or is this really the very first time he is so unreasonable, misinformed, unkind and controlling? What does he think of vaccines, raising your children (boy or girl), your and his role as parents, etc.? Are you on the same page? Discuss this in advance and see how he reacts if you two disagree. That will tell you if you should have kids with him or not.
Kick him in the groin every day for a week and tell him the pain will make him bond more with a child he sires. Then divorce him.
I'd hook him up to one of those labor simulators...when he is screaming in pain and begging for it to stop...remind him that all pain he is in will just strengthen his bond with the baby. Or just divorce him...we can already tell he is showing his true colors...controlling and disrespectful.
"the more pain you go through the better the bond with your baby" lmao my mum laboured for sixteen hours with me and struggled to bond initially because she was resentful of the pain I put her through! She didn't get to bond properly immediately anyway cause I was in distress and taken away immediately too. More pain does not equal more bond. More pain equals more pain
This enraged me so much I had to find out what happened. In the 2nd paragraph, there's a link to the original mumsnet post (look for 'In a post' underlined). This actually happened back in 2019, & it appears there were some big cultural divides in the marriage. After getting 649 replies, this woman took everyone's advice, didn't get pregnant, & divorced the POS. I was so relieved!
"So, you think that physical pain creates a bond between parent and child? Okay, I'll be giving birth, I'm covered, but what are YOU doing to ensure you'll bond with the child through birth-related agony? Shall I bring a baseball bat to the birthing room and take a swing at your knee during a contraction, or should I just break your nose with my fist?"
Hmm... I'd suggest, for him. the nose. I've just accidentally crunched my knee into the doorway of my bedroom and I can assure anyone who might want to know it's bloody painful but not going to be enough! I have also, years ago, got walloped in the nose in a swimming pool and that hurt considerably more and bled copiously. Not that I'm suggesting either of these things will be sufficient to reach labour-level pain.
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Cut his balls off while hes holding the baby after the birth to make sure he bonds strongly :)
NTA. WHY ARE YOU BREEDING WITH THIS MAN?! Leave him and find someone who's isn't controlling or a fuc*ing moron.
i nearly peed myself laughing at the comment that said its a pool of water no the Marianas trench this guy shouldn't reproduce the world doesn't need more of his DNA no thank you i mean i would say definitely talk it through with the father but ultimately as its her body its her choice no matter anyone says
Yes, whenever I will hear something about water birth in future I will explain that the woman isn't yeeted out to the open see to give birth in the fûcking Mariana Trench... Absolutely made my day!
Load More Replies... Get out while you can. If he is like this now lord help you on joint decisions. You will never have a say in anything.
Please divorce this scumbag and find someone who respects you as not only a person but also a woman. The days of men saying “that’s my final word “ are long gone. You deserve better. 99.9% of men like this on earth would change their tune in a f*****g instant if they were the ones who had to carry a baby then deliver said baby .
Get out of this relationship. I bet he also controls how long your hair must be and how high the heels are that you wear and that you must vacume the kitchen before you do the lounge. And while you do that he sits on the couch and watches “the game“ with his buddies, while ordering you to get some more beer from the supermarket.
What an a*****e. He should be concerned about his wife's comfort, not expecting her to endure as much pain as possible.
Your bonding with your kid is not about the moment of birth. That is just stupid.
There must have been red flags before this...did this woman ignore her gut feelings. Good lesson here.
When he develops the ability to make a baby as it knits in his womb, he can deliver it however he wants. That is nature having its last word on it.
https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3766006-Disagree-with-husband-about-childbirth?msgid=92243711&postsby=soshnomore&fromid=92243711 She said she left him thank goodness
She did divorce him! I'm sure nobody is wondering what happened, but I enjoy seeing updates on reddit so thought I'd add a quick one. I didn't get pregnant. I finally ended our marriage about 6 months after this post (this was the tip of a very large and emotionally abusive iceberg), and we'll hopefully be officially divorced next month. All I can say is the red flags that everyone else can see, are very easy to ignore when you're being told you're the one with the problem.
I really hope OP does NOT have kids with this dude. Considering the fact that she's not even pregnant yet and he's acting this way... trying to control HER birth.. when he's not the one carrying or delivering the fucken baby. Yes. It would be their child. But when it comes to the method of delivery, epidural and ya know... the entire part where she fucken pushes a whole ass human being out of HER body after carrying it in HER body for 9 months.... that's where men need to either stfu and support the mother of their child or they need to figure out how to carry the child and birth it all by themselves. Those are your two options. Unless the mother is doing something that is actually harmful to the baby or that is potentially dangerous to her and the baby... ya need to F**k off and let her do what she's most comfortable with. Yes, you're both going through this together... but dads job is to support her n comfort her. Not control her n dictate what she does with her body..
Run u dumb twat! Alternatively, clamp his balls with jumper leads and start the car...
Sounds like he thinks his word is law and OPs pov means nothing. I've seen that in action. The only cure is to remove this POS from your life. He will be "laying down the law" on all shorts of things that will make OPs life miserable. This is just the beginning. I really prefer people work out their differences but this man should be living on his own so only he has to live with his "laws". OP, you can do better. Get out of this one-sided relationship.
NTA, but I think you should not have a baby with him at all. This is just the tip of the iceberg. When the baby is born, the upbringing and how you raise the child will always have: "His final word". If you can't even agree on HOW the child is born, how do you expect to agree on anything concerning the child?
If more pain means a better bond with the baby, he can run his hand through a spiral slicer while you give birth to assure he bond with the baby too.
I went through all the posts in the link with the original threads, and 6 months after she posted the original, she divorced him. She realized that she was being emotionally abused by him, but couldn't see the forest for the trees. I'm so glad she is single now, or in a better relationship.
I'm due to give labor in 10 weeks, the thought that my husband would have anything to say about the way I should deliver this baby is hilarious to me. My body my decisions. And to be clear he fully supports me in this way of thinking. Run from this guy OP!
NTA! Wow, this guy gets the award for the most inconsiderate, arrogant and abusive AH! Why anyone would want a child with him is beyond me. Get out. Once you have the child, the controlling will get worse. If you become financially dependent upon him, you may get stuck. Statically speaking, abusers get worse when wife is pregnant. I would re-think this marriage before bringing a child into the mental abuse.
Anyone who says they have "final word" over your body is waving a red flag so large that Stalin's ghost is looking up from hell saying "Damn, that'd have looked great over one of my parades because f**k if that's not a big red flag right there." Leave him fast.
What a selfish tool. When he pushes a watermelon out of his body, he can decide how best to deal with the discomfort.
I would literally have the baby without him and text him a picture a few days later. I could never forgive my husband if he talked to me that way. Luckily he would never. I hope she leaves before she actually gets pregnant!
Thank goodness she's not pregnant yet. This is why it's important to have this conversation before it's too late. Toss the guy in the bin.
Do what you want. When he pushes a baby out of his d**k he can do what he wants. Otherwise he gets no say.
I find these posts so infuriating. Men have no say in matters regarding the female body. Especially childbirth. It's some of the worst pain you'll ever be in and you are totally vulnerable. The more you relax and feel in control in this HARD situation the better for both mom and baby. The mother has 100% say in what this is (except emergency c-sections ofc) and the only role the birth partner (often father) has in this is to be 100% supportive of her decision and wishes.
My body. My choice. With all my birth plans they have been a guide. Not a be all and end all. Just as well as all of my births have ended in c sections. And happy healthy babies which is the main thing. If my husband had that much of an issue no way would he be my husband. Or the father of my children.
Many years ago, I saw a video of a water birth. It was beyond beautiful. None of the butt-slapping, hanging upside down, nonsense, just an entrancing view of new life.
They don't do any of that anymore. Not sure if they even did that decades ago or if it I was just a Hollywood thing. If baby doesn't make any noise, they rub them. The noise is just to make sure the airway is clear. My kids squawked a couple of times and just settled down. Ultimately, however you give birth is your decision and hopefully there are no emergency changes
Load More Replies... So, he thinks a painful birth helps bond with the baby, but would rather they have a surrogate than that his wife have a water birth? Does he think adoptive parents don't bond with their babies? For that matter, what about himself? He won't be giving birth painfully, so he could he bond with the baby? What utter nonsense.
I simlpy LOVE it when men come up with mantras that they will never have to test for themseves. That would be the day when I hear a man say "the more you snort your beer through your nose the more you'll enjoy the taste."
I hope she is not ACTUALLY going to have a child with this man? This is not just a red flag, this is a store full of them! Do not bring another human life into this mess!
Or he could make an effort on his own to become better informed if he was THAT concerned. Why does he think he has any say in the first place? He's not giving birth. Sure, include him but it is her choice and the fact that he's taking such a stance is a massive red flag.
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It's a pool of hopefully soothing water. Designed to help cope with the pain, not a bath of anaesthetic (sadly). I would be thinking very carefully before making this man the father of my children. What other weird rules will he have up his sleeve? Besides I have read that a traumatic birth can hinder a mother bonding with her baby. He should go back to his cave.
Throw the wole man away. Preferably into a pool of water since he hates them so much.
"The more pain you go through the better the bond with the baby". I've never given birth but I have a feeling that an easy and (somewhat) painless birth would help me bond a hell of a lot more with my kid than the opposite.
Frankly, there is much advice on what facilitates bonding and how to mitigate those situations that hinder it (modern hospitals for example allow instant bonding after c-sections while the surgery is still going). The most important advice to me, however, seems to be: no pressure!
Load More Replies... I really hope that this woman reconsiders having a child with this abusive jerk. And divorces his ass as soon as possible. He wants her to be in extra pain? What kind if psyco is that?
I went to the original mumsnet post (link is in the opening paragraph at the very top), and found out this is actually from 2019. She got 649 replies, took everyone's advice & divorced the idiot!
Load More Replies... She did. Divorced him after getting 649 replies to get rid of the POS.
Load More Replies... Don't have a child with this man. He is obviously totally ignorant as well as domineering. You would be allowed no say in the child's upbringing with him, and probably his family as well, making all decisions.
Not before hooking him up to one of those machines that can simulate birthing pain. Preferably the kind you feel in your spine and the legs.
Load More Replies... She is giving birth, she makes the decisions. Great if he can comfort her and great if they can review the studies, so that they can prepare informed decisions together. And these should be based on her and the baby's needs first, scientific advice second, and not very much following for a long tike after that. Myths without empathy have no place in this, and so doesn't a husband who will not accept that childbirth is highly individual and easily traumatizing by the medical situation alone. No emotional burdens from doing it "properly" are needed. His most important job is to affirm to her that she is doing everything in the best possible way at all times.
By the way, do not get me wrong. Birthing easily can be emotionally extreme to the father, too...the exhaustion, seeing her suffer, the feeling of not being able to really contribute. And of course does he have the right to worry for his soon-to-be-born. What stories like the one told here show is a lack of empathy, though. I believe that couples can grow in such situations, or they can shatter on the mere way to them. My heartfelt wishes to all those who manage to grow together, and my wishes for best of luck to those who struggle.
Load More Replies... This was the update ten months after the initial post: "I'm sure nobody is wondering what happened, but I enjoy seeing updates on reddit so thought I'd add a quick one. I didn't get pregnant. I finally ended our marriage about 6 months after this post (this was the tip of a very large and emotionally abusive iceberg), and we'll hopefully be officially divorced next month. All I can say is the red flags that everyone else can see, are very easy to ignore when you're being told you're the one with the problem." So GOOD FOR HER!
YES!!! And she is unfortunately right about the red flags, I guess - everybody else sees them -prominently waving from each and every rooftop - but the person who is deeply involved might just not be able to look up high enough.
Load More Replies... DO. NOT. HAVE. A. CHILD. WITH. THIS. MAN. What an absolute asshole, he has no right to make that decision for you and that manipulation is a HUGE red flag.
DO NOT have a child with this man, because the reasoning that 'something has worked for 1000s of years so why change it' could also apply to child deaths and disease (which techically don't 'work' but you hopefully get my point). Also, YOU'RE the one having to push out a baby if you get pregnant, not him. Get yourself a man who respects your choices in something he has very little influence in (except having sex).
Please have your children with someone else! Or is this really the very first time he is so unreasonable, misinformed, unkind and controlling? What does he think of vaccines, raising your children (boy or girl), your and his role as parents, etc.? Are you on the same page? Discuss this in advance and see how he reacts if you two disagree. That will tell you if you should have kids with him or not.
Kick him in the groin every day for a week and tell him the pain will make him bond more with a child he sires. Then divorce him.
I'd hook him up to one of those labor simulators...when he is screaming in pain and begging for it to stop...remind him that all pain he is in will just strengthen his bond with the baby. Or just divorce him...we can already tell he is showing his true colors...controlling and disrespectful.
"the more pain you go through the better the bond with your baby" lmao my mum laboured for sixteen hours with me and struggled to bond initially because she was resentful of the pain I put her through! She didn't get to bond properly immediately anyway cause I was in distress and taken away immediately too. More pain does not equal more bond. More pain equals more pain
This enraged me so much I had to find out what happened. In the 2nd paragraph, there's a link to the original mumsnet post (look for 'In a post' underlined). This actually happened back in 2019, & it appears there were some big cultural divides in the marriage. After getting 649 replies, this woman took everyone's advice, didn't get pregnant, & divorced the POS. I was so relieved!
"So, you think that physical pain creates a bond between parent and child? Okay, I'll be giving birth, I'm covered, but what are YOU doing to ensure you'll bond with the child through birth-related agony? Shall I bring a baseball bat to the birthing room and take a swing at your knee during a contraction, or should I just break your nose with my fist?"
Hmm... I'd suggest, for him. the nose. I've just accidentally crunched my knee into the doorway of my bedroom and I can assure anyone who might want to know it's bloody painful but not going to be enough! I have also, years ago, got walloped in the nose in a swimming pool and that hurt considerably more and bled copiously. Not that I'm suggesting either of these things will be sufficient to reach labour-level pain.
Load More Replies... Cut his balls off while hes holding the baby after the birth to make sure he bonds strongly :)
NTA. WHY ARE YOU BREEDING WITH THIS MAN?! Leave him and find someone who's isn't controlling or a fuc*ing moron.
i nearly peed myself laughing at the comment that said its a pool of water no the Marianas trench this guy shouldn't reproduce the world doesn't need more of his DNA no thank you i mean i would say definitely talk it through with the father but ultimately as its her body its her choice no matter anyone says
Yes, whenever I will hear something about water birth in future I will explain that the woman isn't yeeted out to the open see to give birth in the fûcking Mariana Trench... Absolutely made my day!
Load More Replies... Get out while you can. If he is like this now lord help you on joint decisions. You will never have a say in anything.
Please divorce this scumbag and find someone who respects you as not only a person but also a woman. The days of men saying “that’s my final word “ are long gone. You deserve better. 99.9% of men like this on earth would change their tune in a f*****g instant if they were the ones who had to carry a baby then deliver said baby .
Get out of this relationship. I bet he also controls how long your hair must be and how high the heels are that you wear and that you must vacume the kitchen before you do the lounge. And while you do that he sits on the couch and watches “the game“ with his buddies, while ordering you to get some more beer from the supermarket.
What an a*****e. He should be concerned about his wife's comfort, not expecting her to endure as much pain as possible.
Your bonding with your kid is not about the moment of birth. That is just stupid.
There must have been red flags before this...did this woman ignore her gut feelings. Good lesson here.
When he develops the ability to make a baby as it knits in his womb, he can deliver it however he wants. That is nature having its last word on it.
https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3766006-Disagree-with-husband-about-childbirth?msgid=92243711&postsby=soshnomore&fromid=92243711 She said she left him thank goodness
She did divorce him! I'm sure nobody is wondering what happened, but I enjoy seeing updates on reddit so thought I'd add a quick one. I didn't get pregnant. I finally ended our marriage about 6 months after this post (this was the tip of a very large and emotionally abusive iceberg), and we'll hopefully be officially divorced next month. All I can say is the red flags that everyone else can see, are very easy to ignore when you're being told you're the one with the problem.
I really hope OP does NOT have kids with this dude. Considering the fact that she's not even pregnant yet and he's acting this way... trying to control HER birth.. when he's not the one carrying or delivering the fucken baby. Yes. It would be their child. But when it comes to the method of delivery, epidural and ya know... the entire part where she fucken pushes a whole ass human being out of HER body after carrying it in HER body for 9 months.... that's where men need to either stfu and support the mother of their child or they need to figure out how to carry the child and birth it all by themselves. Those are your two options. Unless the mother is doing something that is actually harmful to the baby or that is potentially dangerous to her and the baby... ya need to F**k off and let her do what she's most comfortable with. Yes, you're both going through this together... but dads job is to support her n comfort her. Not control her n dictate what she does with her body..
Run u dumb twat! Alternatively, clamp his balls with jumper leads and start the car...
Sounds like he thinks his word is law and OPs pov means nothing. I've seen that in action. The only cure is to remove this POS from your life. He will be "laying down the law" on all shorts of things that will make OPs life miserable. This is just the beginning. I really prefer people work out their differences but this man should be living on his own so only he has to live with his "laws". OP, you can do better. Get out of this one-sided relationship.
NTA, but I think you should not have a baby with him at all. This is just the tip of the iceberg. When the baby is born, the upbringing and how you raise the child will always have: "His final word". If you can't even agree on HOW the child is born, how do you expect to agree on anything concerning the child?
If more pain means a better bond with the baby, he can run his hand through a spiral slicer while you give birth to assure he bond with the baby too.
I went through all the posts in the link with the original threads, and 6 months after she posted the original, she divorced him. She realized that she was being emotionally abused by him, but couldn't see the forest for the trees. I'm so glad she is single now, or in a better relationship.
I'm due to give labor in 10 weeks, the thought that my husband would have anything to say about the way I should deliver this baby is hilarious to me. My body my decisions. And to be clear he fully supports me in this way of thinking. Run from this guy OP!
NTA! Wow, this guy gets the award for the most inconsiderate, arrogant and abusive AH! Why anyone would want a child with him is beyond me. Get out. Once you have the child, the controlling will get worse. If you become financially dependent upon him, you may get stuck. Statically speaking, abusers get worse when wife is pregnant. I would re-think this marriage before bringing a child into the mental abuse.
Anyone who says they have "final word" over your body is waving a red flag so large that Stalin's ghost is looking up from hell saying "Damn, that'd have looked great over one of my parades because f**k if that's not a big red flag right there." Leave him fast.
What a selfish tool. When he pushes a watermelon out of his body, he can decide how best to deal with the discomfort.
I would literally have the baby without him and text him a picture a few days later. I could never forgive my husband if he talked to me that way. Luckily he would never. I hope she leaves before she actually gets pregnant!
Thank goodness she's not pregnant yet. This is why it's important to have this conversation before it's too late. Toss the guy in the bin.
Do what you want. When he pushes a baby out of his d**k he can do what he wants. Otherwise he gets no say.
I find these posts so infuriating. Men have no say in matters regarding the female body. Especially childbirth. It's some of the worst pain you'll ever be in and you are totally vulnerable. The more you relax and feel in control in this HARD situation the better for both mom and baby. The mother has 100% say in what this is (except emergency c-sections ofc) and the only role the birth partner (often father) has in this is to be 100% supportive of her decision and wishes.
My body. My choice. With all my birth plans they have been a guide. Not a be all and end all. Just as well as all of my births have ended in c sections. And happy healthy babies which is the main thing. If my husband had that much of an issue no way would he be my husband. Or the father of my children.
Many years ago, I saw a video of a water birth. It was beyond beautiful. None of the butt-slapping, hanging upside down, nonsense, just an entrancing view of new life.
They don't do any of that anymore. Not sure if they even did that decades ago or if it I was just a Hollywood thing. If baby doesn't make any noise, they rub them. The noise is just to make sure the airway is clear. My kids squawked a couple of times and just settled down. Ultimately, however you give birth is your decision and hopefully there are no emergency changes
Load More Replies... So, he thinks a painful birth helps bond with the baby, but would rather they have a surrogate than that his wife have a water birth? Does he think adoptive parents don't bond with their babies? For that matter, what about himself? He won't be giving birth painfully, so he could he bond with the baby? What utter nonsense.
I simlpy LOVE it when men come up with mantras that they will never have to test for themseves. That would be the day when I hear a man say "the more you snort your beer through your nose the more you'll enjoy the taste."
I hope she is not ACTUALLY going to have a child with this man? This is not just a red flag, this is a store full of them! Do not bring another human life into this mess!
Or he could make an effort on his own to become better informed if he was THAT concerned. Why does he think he has any say in the first place? He's not giving birth. Sure, include him but it is her choice and the fact that he's taking such a stance is a massive red flag.
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