Husband Sells His Wife’s Antique Tea Set For $300, Justifying He Needed The Money For His Nephew, She Sells His Xbox To Buy It Back
Trust is an essential ingredient in building and maintaining a healthy marriage. Without it, the quality of a relationship deteriorates and problems start compounding fast.
So when Redditor u/__HeavenlyPeace399 learned that her husband went behind her back and secretly sold her family’s antique tea set, she was very disappointed.
In the man’s eyes, he did it for a noble cause — to reward his nephew for beating cancer with something the boy wanted for a long time. A gaming chair. But his wife didn’t see it that way.
She felt like she’d lost her priceless heirloom over a promise she didn’t even make. So the woman decided to buy it back with her husband’s Xbox. But when everything was said and done, she started having doubts about whether or not that was appropriate.
Eventually, she turned to Reddit to tell her story and ask what other users think about it. Here’s what she wrote.
Image credits: Flickr (not the actual photo)
Image credits: __HeavenlyPeace399
Experts say that trust in an intimate relationship is rooted in feeling safe with another person. Infidelity, lies, and broken promises can severely damage the way partners see each other. That, however, does not necessarily mean that situations like this one can’t be solved and a marriage can’t be salvaged.
Although rebuilding trust can be challenging when there is a significant breach, it is, in fact, possible if both partners commit to the process.
Of course, it takes much time and effort to re-establish the sense of safety a person needs for a marriage to thrive and continue to grow. Recovery from the trauma caused by a break in trust is where many couples get stuck.
According to research, couples must address the following five points in order to effectively move forward:
- Knowing the details;
- Releasing the anger;
- Showing commitment;
- Rebuilding trust;
- Rebuilding the relationship.
Whether you were the offending partner or the betrayed, to rebuild the trust in your marriage, both of you must renew your commitment to your marriage and to one another. Visit Verywell Mind to read more on each of these steps.
People think this conflict could be a sign of a bigger marital problem
Wow, I couldn't believe there were ESH on that one. Dude stole from her, period. He's the asshole. She got her property back and he lost some of his BECAUSE he stole from her. They can work through this maybe, but this relationship has issues.
Agreed. I think if the genders were reversed, and she had, without his knowledge or permission, sold an expensive lighter or pocketknife that was gifted to the husband by a dead grandfather to get her niece a makeup set or something, those ESH's would be STRONG YTA's!!
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So you're telling me your husband could have sold his x box and bought the chair himself, but instead decided you should sacrifice your stuff for it? Your husband is selfish and definitely the asshole here. Also when if you let it slide I doubt and I mean highly doubt you'd ever see that modern tea set he "promised"
That's what I was thinking. Maybe he thought she'd eventually forget about getting a new tea set. Or it would never really be possible because they can never really save up for anything. Hence why he also chose something of hers that he prob felt wouldn't really be missed. Maybe.
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Nope sorry, your hubby is the asshole. He showed a complete lack of disrespect to you by selling it, especially without asking you. Then him not respecting how much it means to you and that a new tea set is not the same and gets pissy with you for selling his xbox to get it back. If he didn't sell it in the first place then he would still have his xbox. It's his own fault.
How convenient! How in the world he didn't sell his precious Xbox at first?Not to mention substituting an antique item for a "modern"one. The lack of consideration and ignorance are strong in this one.
It would be a huge statement if he sold his precious Xbox for a cancer kid. Nope, he sold his Wife’s heirlooms. Is his excuse going to be I have to play online with him after I promised a chair. And why are grown men obsessed with video games. Pathetic
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Much easier to replace the Xbox, you can get one almost anywhere, than a family heirloom. You can't sell property that isn't yours. What a selfish git.
NTA! Seriously! We had an XBox and then won an Xbox and traded it for a Wii. I will sell our video games, TVs and furniture before I sell any of my China that was my grandmother's! That is something you can't replace. Our Xbox died after 3 years, most pieces of my China are over 70 years old! The tea pot lid alone is worth at least $50! I have 2 because I didn't have the lid so I bought another so I had an original lid. My husband would be my ex immediately if he sold it. But he isn't an a$$hole so he wouldn't.
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If he wanted to buy a present for his nephew - he should have sold his own stuff, not his wife's property because he decided she doesn't use it oftem enough. You don't get to make decisions to sell, exchange or throw something away if it doesn't belong to you. That's stealing, and if he pulled this trick on a stranger, he woulg get himself in much more trouble than his xbox being sold.
She could have reported it stolen, since it was. He's lucky she only sold the XBox. This couple needs to get counseling to learn communication.
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If the chair was so important for your husband to buy for his nephew, why didn't he sell his X-box then and make the sacrifice himself? There a thousands of X-box's out there and he could have easily earned the money to get another one. You have only the one tea set from your Grandmother and, as much as he thinks it can be replace with something better, it doesn't replace the fact that it was the only thing you had from your grandmother. He was totally in the wrong. The lessons here are that your husband shouldn't make promises he can't keep and he shouldn't sell things that don't belong to him.
He wanted to be the hero of his nephew but made her take the sacrifice.
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Boredpanda writes way too long headlines that you have to read several times to understand how about using a comma once in a while they are pretty great because they offer a slight pause in the sentence making it easier to read you are welcome for the tip no need to thank me your beaming face is thanks enough ok goodbye see you all later I want donuts anyone got any ok bye
Waaaaahaha, Your post is so funny, I'm giggling while typing this. Thank you. Oh and NTA
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Was in a similar situation when I was married where my husband sold my possessions for money for his use. It actually helped me see bigger issues in the relationship and how my husband viewed me. Totally ticked at the time but now I view it as a good learning opportunity and impetus to get out of a horrible situation.
Same actually. My ex would p**n my things. One of our kids is medically complex so I was trying to make things work to keep him in his son's life. It wasn't until I was literally carrying Christmas presents for the kids everywhere I went that I realized he was TA (and an addict) and didn't deserve to be in his son's life until he got clean
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Call your sister and ask to stay with her. Take your slim wages over to her house, he can manage on his own if he wants to go around making promises he can't fulfill then stealing from supposed loved ones. This man is a child, run away from him and find someone who actually loves and respects you, because he NEVER will. 31yrs old and acting like a 6yr old, there is no hope there, if he was going to grow up he would have done it already. Save yourself woman!
hey don't insult 6 year olds, they're better than her husband is lol
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Hubby is a low-life loser. Leave him and go start your life without this large and childish burden.
Thanks Parfait, full agreement. Your spouses feelings and history vs a video game machine that makes you lazy and fat.
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Well, now that he doesn't have an xbox he has time to go get a better/second job and provide for his family. Win win.
OMG. This is not just a case of he's an arsehole. He stole your personal, highly sentimental property and sold it. I'm so sorry. I think you need to seriously think about what values you share with this person and consider that perhaps its not a healthy relationship to be in.
Once again, this isn’t about who’s the asshole. This is a wreck of a marriage.
You make a fine point. Feel like all of these are "Isn't my wife/husband horrible" and the answer is yes and sorry divorces are so expensive. Starting to thing everyone just lives in an endless world of misery. Think I should stop reading these.
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I have to wonder about single thing: who can afford Xbox while not being able to save any money. And certainly not promise expensive presents. I was in such situation, so I don't understand how. Selling Xbox perfectly fine for me despite as said above two wrongs don't make it right. But I get why wife wanted her tea set back. One correction: I doubt a lot of men would ever realize importance of tea set no matter how many times you explain it. But if he cares he'd just not ever touch it because it means a lot for his wife, despite that he doesn't understand why.
it is not about the tea set, it is about her heritage. every average intelligent person (men included) should understand it. it could be a knife, sword, tea set, bracelet whatever. the important part is that it is her heritage
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NTA and I don't get how anyone could think otherwise. There were several points in this story where this whole thing could have been avoided on his part: 1. He shouldn't have made a promise he couldn't keep. Money has been short for YEARS. He made the promise knowing he doesn't have any money. 2. He could have just said so and apologized to his nephew. 3. If that was not an option, he should have talked to his wife to find a solution, like a cheaper gaming chair or deciding what to sell TOGETHER. 4. He could have simply sold his own stuff 5. He especially shouldn't have sold her stuff without asking And it just gets worse by not caring about how much the tea set meant to her but at the same time expecting her to care about how much the xbox means to him => double standards. And now he's bitter about everything. So in total: He makes promises he can't keep, thinks it's ok to steal and keep it from his wife, and now he's offended after being caught. Classy.
dont forget an xbox can b replaced and her tea set cannot
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Not going to add what everyone else has said on here since everyone in the comments have made great points. All I'm going to say is this; the fact that he had the audacity to say that he can't have any fun or entertainment now that his precious Xbox is gone, makes it seem like he doesn't like being around his own wife. That is a huge red flag right there. Among the many other red flags of course.
It’s a man child. It’s not a red flag, it’s a Confederate red flag! Doesn’t mean racist but extreme stupidity
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i'd recommend locking the tea set up because based on all the reddit stories i've read and her husbands behavior, he's probably gonna try to break it or sell it again.
Honestly he could have sold his Xbox in the first place or just have told the nephew that although times are tight he would save up an get the chair at a later time. But having the nephew be around was the best gift anyway. Heirlooms are not free money to anyone. They have meaning an connect us with memories or people gone from our lives. He is an asshole for taking what isn't his. She isn't because it should have been his money or item in the start. And I do suggest a divorce or marriage dissolve ASAP here for two people that can't rely on each other to save money for emergencies or get better jobs. Less fighting and stress for them both.
If he cared SO much about a CHAIR for his nephew, then he would have been willing to sacrifice something of his own. But no, he stole something he knew was important to his wife, that was not his to sell, and sold it behind her back so he could look good to the rest of the family. She was 100 percent right to get her tea set back and 100 percent justified in using something important to him to sell. And if he was serious about magically getting money to buy her a more expensive tea set, then he can use that magical money to buy himself another X-box. But the problem here is that he is a spoiled little man-child and I just don't know why grown women marry these losers in the first place.
Having a tea set passed down from grandma is sacred. He's clearly the AH. If he doesn't understand how much that meant to her, he ITA. He sounds very immature and I think I would hide that tea set so he can't get it again. He wanted to be his nephew's big hero without taking any personal sacrifice. Gaming chairs can be purchased with less money. He could have sold the game system and bought it at his own expense. He chose to let her take the sacrifice without her knowledge.
WTF is AITA, NTA, ESH?!? Ok, now I've got that out of my system. The husband had NO right selling her things. Period. I'd rain and fury if that happened... You want to make someone happy, you sell YOUR stuff. Period. You have debts, you sell YOUR stuff to pay them. Period. I'm 100% with her selling his Xbox. He needs to fu--king grow up.
Am I The As.shole?/ Not The As.shole/ Everyone Sucks Here.
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Also my Wife and me talk to each other, before we do important decisions like that. What is wrong with people, selling other people stuff without asking first? O.o
He made a promise, then stole from his wife to fulfill that promise. Worse, he stole an item of irreplaceable sentimental value. Why didn't he sell his own stuff, like his xbox?
If someone did this to me, they’d be told to go see a therapist, and told to gtfo along with their Xbox. And only come back when they’ve had a long hard think about themselves.
The husband sounds like a royal ass wipe and honestly a total loser. He doesn't respect you, doesn't care about hurting you, thinks you should have to sell off things that are special to you so he can fulfill promises he can't afford to keep to others. Honestly? I think you should divorce him and find someone better. He works at a gas station for gods sake. You will always be poor if he has zero ambition to change his life
NTA. I'm with the wife 100% on this one. He went behind her back and I'll bet he's done it on other things as well.
He made a promise to his nephew that he himself can't fulfill. He should've sold his own items of possession to buy that gaming chair.
he's the arsehole. he stole from her, then had a childish tantrum when she sold his stuff without permission to get her stuff back, that has sentimental value. he said he was willing to save up for a new tea set. so he shouldn't have any problem saving up for a new, mass produced console that is easily replaced, unlike her family heirlooms. now she has her stuff back, she needs to dump the thief, and move on.
I have a diamond necklace that was gifted to me by my aunt as a graduation gift. I don't wear it much, but it still has sentimental value. I would be very angry if my spouse sold it without telling me. This husband had no right to take her things and sell them. He shouldn't have made a promise like that. He made a promise that he couldn't keep. She had every right to sell his Xbox to get her tea set back. Like someone said, if the only way that he is being entertained right now is the Xbox, he must not like to spend time with his wife.
This might get some negativity but this seems so millennial. A treasured heirloom with history and family value means nothing to him! I’m sure there is stories like this through all generations but it seems more prominent now. A f*****g Xbox over your wife’s connections and history with her family. I’m gonna start a post with “hey Pandas, your considered a millennial, tell me why your not” Would that work?
If he gave a s**t, he wouldn't take anything of hers without asking. Maybe now he can get a second job now that he won't be spending time and money on videogames
Load More Replies... while reading this i was shocked to see ESH. the way i looked at it would b if my husband got rid of a teddy bear my grandpa got me wen i was 1 i still have it, still sleep with it even tho im 32 and ill always cherish it. my grandpa was my hero and wen he died i was destroyed i still am even tho it was 10 years ago. i see teddy as having my grandpa still with me. as a result of him getting rid of teddy i get rid of my husbands computer which he put thousands of dollars into to make. its his main gaming system and built it himself so its very valuable.so i thought of my hypothecial situation and applied it to this. getting rid of something without considering the other persons feeling towards that item is wrong. she is NTA that tea set was worth more to her then he could ever realize. my husband has joked about throwing teddy out but he never would bc he knows wat teddy means to me. i may have been the 1 year old theif in bloomingdales that stole a bear off a shelf while leaving but my grandpa wen he realized i wouldnt let the bear go he bought it for me. even tho i dont remember it i was told the story and its a fond memory of my grandparents, parents and me. teddy represents thats memory my husband wouldnt dare take it from me. i wouldnt darn take his computer or instruments (guitars, sax, banjo etc) away from him. hes a muscian in a band too he loves music and gaming id never take it away from him. besides im a gamer too even one of the paint colors in our apartment is game related. solitude is the name of the color which is also a city is skyrim we chose it for that reason lol. so teddy=her tea set and my husbands homemade computer=xbox the difference my husband considers my feelings. he hates teddy thinks hes gross and looks demonic bc my childhood anxeity pulled the fur out of him wen i was little and my dog chewed one of his eyes but ya teddy isnt his favorite but still he considers my feeling and wat it means to me. if this womans husband was like mine shed have her tea set hed have his xbox and hed have to come up with some other way to reward his nephew or just dont make promises u cant keep.
I can’t read this, I’m not the best at punctuation but DAMN.
Load More Replies... An xbox has no sentimental value and can easily be replaced, usually by an even better one. Family heirlooms are irreplaceable. There is no contest on this one. He was wrong; she just did what he should have done in the first place if a chair costing as much as an xbox was that important to him. But that is not a marriage that is going to last. I would bet an xbox on THAT.
Bawahahahaha Kudos to the bride for selling XBox to get it back! Bawahahahaha 🤣😂🤣😂
Dump him. Useless man is useless and spineless. He wants to act like an elder to a child then behave like one.
NTA. The husband (whom is the real asshole here) could've sold his Xbox to buy the gaming chair for his nephew, but he's so immature and a jerk he decided to sell his wife's property instead. That adds that he's a thief. They can easily reconcile from this and they will, but the relationship isn't healthy and best for the wife just move on when she's ready.
As much as his nephew deserves all the love and support for conquering cancer, why promise a gaming chair when you can't afford it? At least look for a decent second-hand that doesnt cost $300. 'do not have the ability to save money' - I wont be surprised if its partly because he has a tendency to live beyond his means.
1. husband got you into this mess by promising things he cannot afford 2. Xbox is replaceable, the only requirement is for it to work, granny's tea set is not replaceable as it will never be the same one she gave her 3. absolute NTA for the wife and AH for both the husband and the buyer
NTA. He has absolutely no f*****g right to take anything that belongs to you. He seems so childish and immature. He has absolutely no emotional intelligence to understand sentimental value. What a child. I could not bear to be with him. He did you wrong. He could have sold something of his but instead he stole from you. You did nothing wrong. He is the asshole. Unbelievable.
Story is fake. He has compassion for his nephew to buy a gaming chair but none for his wife that he physically takes something that a) belongs to his wife and b) KNOWS that she is keeping because of sentimental value? And then she gets her item back by justifiably selling something of his, she feels guilty? Get out of town.
he is someone who thinks it is in my house it is mine, not a good sign. Had a spouse do the same, took money, sold wedding rings, because he needed the money, didn't care if the money was for his son's birthday gift, he wanted it. it was a family heirloom he sold for a chair that will be worth $0 in a few years.
in the article, someone commented that he needed counselling because he sounded like he had mental illness sometimes people are just unethical and shady
What a d**k. He made a promise but made some one else pay for it....Good cause or not IT WAS NOT his to sell. He should have sold his X-Box initially if he really cares.......
Your husband is not a good person. I have priceless things (to me) in my home and if my partner would steal them and sell any of them, before his beloved PS4, to fulfil a promise he made, he would lose a lot more than just his PS4! How can anyone think that she is in the wrong here???
The husband is at fault entirely... I mean he sold something that wasn't his and now is angry because to get her precious tea set back, she did something similar... If you want to help your nephew, sell something that belongs to you solely. Just because you are married doesn't mean you sell your partner's stuff without consent... Consent is important in any relationship.. including blood relations. Just act normal and he will be on his normal behaviour. The other person i feel bad for is the nephew.. he has a stupid uncle who is emotionally stunted
On the consent front, the idea that he obligated them to a large expense without talking to her first is a major red flag, before we even get to his egregious decision to sell her stuff to pay for it.
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Neither one of these people should be married to one another. The problem here is that the husband does NOT consider his wife at all. His promise to his nephew is more important to him than she is. She should not have done the same thing to him that he did to her. BUT, she is in the right. None of this would have happened if he hadn't been so dismissive of her. He's the A&&.
If she'd done it to teach him a lesson I'd agree with you, but he needed to provide the money to get it back and it looks like selling his XBox was the only way that was going to happen. He was going to save money to buy her a teaset, s he can just save money to replace his XBox instead. Frankly he owes his SIL $50 too. No reason the wife should be paying that debt.
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It's always stunning to me to hear than an adult has a video game at all.
Minor point about some of the comments calling the set an heirloom: she says "antique tea set my grandmother gifted me." That could mean it was the grandmother's own tea set passed down, an heirloom. It also could mean that the grandma picked it up at, say, a yard sale and gave it to her, in which case it isn't an heirloom. Either way, it has sentimental value and it was wrong of the husband to dispose of it without permission.
When did boredpanda become a place for strangers to tell us about their personal relationship probmems?? Yuck. I guess you all like trashy reality shows, so why am I surprised. Stop the trash content.
Recovering stolen property by stealing from the thief to get it back is not two wrongs don't make a right. It's called righting a wrong.
Load More Replies... Wow, I couldn't believe there were ESH on that one. Dude stole from her, period. He's the asshole. She got her property back and he lost some of his BECAUSE he stole from her. They can work through this maybe, but this relationship has issues.
Agreed. I think if the genders were reversed, and she had, without his knowledge or permission, sold an expensive lighter or pocketknife that was gifted to the husband by a dead grandfather to get her niece a makeup set or something, those ESH's would be STRONG YTA's!!
Load More Replies... So you're telling me your husband could have sold his x box and bought the chair himself, but instead decided you should sacrifice your stuff for it? Your husband is selfish and definitely the asshole here. Also when if you let it slide I doubt and I mean highly doubt you'd ever see that modern tea set he "promised"
That's what I was thinking. Maybe he thought she'd eventually forget about getting a new tea set. Or it would never really be possible because they can never really save up for anything. Hence why he also chose something of hers that he prob felt wouldn't really be missed. Maybe.
Load More Replies... Nope sorry, your hubby is the asshole. He showed a complete lack of disrespect to you by selling it, especially without asking you. Then him not respecting how much it means to you and that a new tea set is not the same and gets pissy with you for selling his xbox to get it back. If he didn't sell it in the first place then he would still have his xbox. It's his own fault.
How convenient! How in the world he didn't sell his precious Xbox at first?Not to mention substituting an antique item for a "modern"one. The lack of consideration and ignorance are strong in this one.
It would be a huge statement if he sold his precious Xbox for a cancer kid. Nope, he sold his Wife’s heirlooms. Is his excuse going to be I have to play online with him after I promised a chair. And why are grown men obsessed with video games. Pathetic
Load More Replies... Much easier to replace the Xbox, you can get one almost anywhere, than a family heirloom. You can't sell property that isn't yours. What a selfish git.
NTA! Seriously! We had an XBox and then won an Xbox and traded it for a Wii. I will sell our video games, TVs and furniture before I sell any of my China that was my grandmother's! That is something you can't replace. Our Xbox died after 3 years, most pieces of my China are over 70 years old! The tea pot lid alone is worth at least $50! I have 2 because I didn't have the lid so I bought another so I had an original lid. My husband would be my ex immediately if he sold it. But he isn't an a$$hole so he wouldn't.
Load More Replies... If he wanted to buy a present for his nephew - he should have sold his own stuff, not his wife's property because he decided she doesn't use it oftem enough. You don't get to make decisions to sell, exchange or throw something away if it doesn't belong to you. That's stealing, and if he pulled this trick on a stranger, he woulg get himself in much more trouble than his xbox being sold.
She could have reported it stolen, since it was. He's lucky she only sold the XBox. This couple needs to get counseling to learn communication.
Load More Replies... If the chair was so important for your husband to buy for his nephew, why didn't he sell his X-box then and make the sacrifice himself? There a thousands of X-box's out there and he could have easily earned the money to get another one. You have only the one tea set from your Grandmother and, as much as he thinks it can be replace with something better, it doesn't replace the fact that it was the only thing you had from your grandmother. He was totally in the wrong. The lessons here are that your husband shouldn't make promises he can't keep and he shouldn't sell things that don't belong to him.
He wanted to be the hero of his nephew but made her take the sacrifice.
Load More Replies... Boredpanda writes way too long headlines that you have to read several times to understand how about using a comma once in a while they are pretty great because they offer a slight pause in the sentence making it easier to read you are welcome for the tip no need to thank me your beaming face is thanks enough ok goodbye see you all later I want donuts anyone got any ok bye
Waaaaahaha, Your post is so funny, I'm giggling while typing this. Thank you. Oh and NTA
Load More Replies... Was in a similar situation when I was married where my husband sold my possessions for money for his use. It actually helped me see bigger issues in the relationship and how my husband viewed me. Totally ticked at the time but now I view it as a good learning opportunity and impetus to get out of a horrible situation.
Same actually. My ex would p**n my things. One of our kids is medically complex so I was trying to make things work to keep him in his son's life. It wasn't until I was literally carrying Christmas presents for the kids everywhere I went that I realized he was TA (and an addict) and didn't deserve to be in his son's life until he got clean
Load More Replies... Call your sister and ask to stay with her. Take your slim wages over to her house, he can manage on his own if he wants to go around making promises he can't fulfill then stealing from supposed loved ones. This man is a child, run away from him and find someone who actually loves and respects you, because he NEVER will. 31yrs old and acting like a 6yr old, there is no hope there, if he was going to grow up he would have done it already. Save yourself woman!
hey don't insult 6 year olds, they're better than her husband is lol
Load More Replies... Hubby is a low-life loser. Leave him and go start your life without this large and childish burden.
Thanks Parfait, full agreement. Your spouses feelings and history vs a video game machine that makes you lazy and fat.
Load More Replies... Well, now that he doesn't have an xbox he has time to go get a better/second job and provide for his family. Win win.
OMG. This is not just a case of he's an arsehole. He stole your personal, highly sentimental property and sold it. I'm so sorry. I think you need to seriously think about what values you share with this person and consider that perhaps its not a healthy relationship to be in.
Once again, this isn’t about who’s the asshole. This is a wreck of a marriage.
You make a fine point. Feel like all of these are "Isn't my wife/husband horrible" and the answer is yes and sorry divorces are so expensive. Starting to thing everyone just lives in an endless world of misery. Think I should stop reading these.
Load More Replies... I have to wonder about single thing: who can afford Xbox while not being able to save any money. And certainly not promise expensive presents. I was in such situation, so I don't understand how. Selling Xbox perfectly fine for me despite as said above two wrongs don't make it right. But I get why wife wanted her tea set back. One correction: I doubt a lot of men would ever realize importance of tea set no matter how many times you explain it. But if he cares he'd just not ever touch it because it means a lot for his wife, despite that he doesn't understand why.
it is not about the tea set, it is about her heritage. every average intelligent person (men included) should understand it. it could be a knife, sword, tea set, bracelet whatever. the important part is that it is her heritage
Load More Replies... NTA and I don't get how anyone could think otherwise. There were several points in this story where this whole thing could have been avoided on his part: 1. He shouldn't have made a promise he couldn't keep. Money has been short for YEARS. He made the promise knowing he doesn't have any money. 2. He could have just said so and apologized to his nephew. 3. If that was not an option, he should have talked to his wife to find a solution, like a cheaper gaming chair or deciding what to sell TOGETHER. 4. He could have simply sold his own stuff 5. He especially shouldn't have sold her stuff without asking And it just gets worse by not caring about how much the tea set meant to her but at the same time expecting her to care about how much the xbox means to him => double standards. And now he's bitter about everything. So in total: He makes promises he can't keep, thinks it's ok to steal and keep it from his wife, and now he's offended after being caught. Classy.
dont forget an xbox can b replaced and her tea set cannot
Load More Replies... Not going to add what everyone else has said on here since everyone in the comments have made great points. All I'm going to say is this; the fact that he had the audacity to say that he can't have any fun or entertainment now that his precious Xbox is gone, makes it seem like he doesn't like being around his own wife. That is a huge red flag right there. Among the many other red flags of course.
It’s a man child. It’s not a red flag, it’s a Confederate red flag! Doesn’t mean racist but extreme stupidity
Load More Replies... i'd recommend locking the tea set up because based on all the reddit stories i've read and her husbands behavior, he's probably gonna try to break it or sell it again.
Honestly he could have sold his Xbox in the first place or just have told the nephew that although times are tight he would save up an get the chair at a later time. But having the nephew be around was the best gift anyway. Heirlooms are not free money to anyone. They have meaning an connect us with memories or people gone from our lives. He is an asshole for taking what isn't his. She isn't because it should have been his money or item in the start. And I do suggest a divorce or marriage dissolve ASAP here for two people that can't rely on each other to save money for emergencies or get better jobs. Less fighting and stress for them both.
If he cared SO much about a CHAIR for his nephew, then he would have been willing to sacrifice something of his own. But no, he stole something he knew was important to his wife, that was not his to sell, and sold it behind her back so he could look good to the rest of the family. She was 100 percent right to get her tea set back and 100 percent justified in using something important to him to sell. And if he was serious about magically getting money to buy her a more expensive tea set, then he can use that magical money to buy himself another X-box. But the problem here is that he is a spoiled little man-child and I just don't know why grown women marry these losers in the first place.
Having a tea set passed down from grandma is sacred. He's clearly the AH. If he doesn't understand how much that meant to her, he ITA. He sounds very immature and I think I would hide that tea set so he can't get it again. He wanted to be his nephew's big hero without taking any personal sacrifice. Gaming chairs can be purchased with less money. He could have sold the game system and bought it at his own expense. He chose to let her take the sacrifice without her knowledge.
WTF is AITA, NTA, ESH?!? Ok, now I've got that out of my system. The husband had NO right selling her things. Period. I'd rain and fury if that happened... You want to make someone happy, you sell YOUR stuff. Period. You have debts, you sell YOUR stuff to pay them. Period. I'm 100% with her selling his Xbox. He needs to fu--king grow up.
Am I The As.shole?/ Not The As.shole/ Everyone Sucks Here.
Load More Replies... Also my Wife and me talk to each other, before we do important decisions like that. What is wrong with people, selling other people stuff without asking first? O.o
He made a promise, then stole from his wife to fulfill that promise. Worse, he stole an item of irreplaceable sentimental value. Why didn't he sell his own stuff, like his xbox?
If someone did this to me, they’d be told to go see a therapist, and told to gtfo along with their Xbox. And only come back when they’ve had a long hard think about themselves.
The husband sounds like a royal ass wipe and honestly a total loser. He doesn't respect you, doesn't care about hurting you, thinks you should have to sell off things that are special to you so he can fulfill promises he can't afford to keep to others. Honestly? I think you should divorce him and find someone better. He works at a gas station for gods sake. You will always be poor if he has zero ambition to change his life
NTA. I'm with the wife 100% on this one. He went behind her back and I'll bet he's done it on other things as well.
He made a promise to his nephew that he himself can't fulfill. He should've sold his own items of possession to buy that gaming chair.
he's the arsehole. he stole from her, then had a childish tantrum when she sold his stuff without permission to get her stuff back, that has sentimental value. he said he was willing to save up for a new tea set. so he shouldn't have any problem saving up for a new, mass produced console that is easily replaced, unlike her family heirlooms. now she has her stuff back, she needs to dump the thief, and move on.
I have a diamond necklace that was gifted to me by my aunt as a graduation gift. I don't wear it much, but it still has sentimental value. I would be very angry if my spouse sold it without telling me. This husband had no right to take her things and sell them. He shouldn't have made a promise like that. He made a promise that he couldn't keep. She had every right to sell his Xbox to get her tea set back. Like someone said, if the only way that he is being entertained right now is the Xbox, he must not like to spend time with his wife.
This might get some negativity but this seems so millennial. A treasured heirloom with history and family value means nothing to him! I’m sure there is stories like this through all generations but it seems more prominent now. A f*****g Xbox over your wife’s connections and history with her family. I’m gonna start a post with “hey Pandas, your considered a millennial, tell me why your not” Would that work?
If he gave a s**t, he wouldn't take anything of hers without asking. Maybe now he can get a second job now that he won't be spending time and money on videogames
Load More Replies... while reading this i was shocked to see ESH. the way i looked at it would b if my husband got rid of a teddy bear my grandpa got me wen i was 1 i still have it, still sleep with it even tho im 32 and ill always cherish it. my grandpa was my hero and wen he died i was destroyed i still am even tho it was 10 years ago. i see teddy as having my grandpa still with me. as a result of him getting rid of teddy i get rid of my husbands computer which he put thousands of dollars into to make. its his main gaming system and built it himself so its very valuable.so i thought of my hypothecial situation and applied it to this. getting rid of something without considering the other persons feeling towards that item is wrong. she is NTA that tea set was worth more to her then he could ever realize. my husband has joked about throwing teddy out but he never would bc he knows wat teddy means to me. i may have been the 1 year old theif in bloomingdales that stole a bear off a shelf while leaving but my grandpa wen he realized i wouldnt let the bear go he bought it for me. even tho i dont remember it i was told the story and its a fond memory of my grandparents, parents and me. teddy represents thats memory my husband wouldnt dare take it from me. i wouldnt darn take his computer or instruments (guitars, sax, banjo etc) away from him. hes a muscian in a band too he loves music and gaming id never take it away from him. besides im a gamer too even one of the paint colors in our apartment is game related. solitude is the name of the color which is also a city is skyrim we chose it for that reason lol. so teddy=her tea set and my husbands homemade computer=xbox the difference my husband considers my feelings. he hates teddy thinks hes gross and looks demonic bc my childhood anxeity pulled the fur out of him wen i was little and my dog chewed one of his eyes but ya teddy isnt his favorite but still he considers my feeling and wat it means to me. if this womans husband was like mine shed have her tea set hed have his xbox and hed have to come up with some other way to reward his nephew or just dont make promises u cant keep.
I can’t read this, I’m not the best at punctuation but DAMN.
Load More Replies... An xbox has no sentimental value and can easily be replaced, usually by an even better one. Family heirlooms are irreplaceable. There is no contest on this one. He was wrong; she just did what he should have done in the first place if a chair costing as much as an xbox was that important to him. But that is not a marriage that is going to last. I would bet an xbox on THAT.
Bawahahahaha Kudos to the bride for selling XBox to get it back! Bawahahahaha 🤣😂🤣😂
Dump him. Useless man is useless and spineless. He wants to act like an elder to a child then behave like one.
NTA. The husband (whom is the real asshole here) could've sold his Xbox to buy the gaming chair for his nephew, but he's so immature and a jerk he decided to sell his wife's property instead. That adds that he's a thief. They can easily reconcile from this and they will, but the relationship isn't healthy and best for the wife just move on when she's ready.
As much as his nephew deserves all the love and support for conquering cancer, why promise a gaming chair when you can't afford it? At least look for a decent second-hand that doesnt cost $300. 'do not have the ability to save money' - I wont be surprised if its partly because he has a tendency to live beyond his means.
1. husband got you into this mess by promising things he cannot afford 2. Xbox is replaceable, the only requirement is for it to work, granny's tea set is not replaceable as it will never be the same one she gave her 3. absolute NTA for the wife and AH for both the husband and the buyer
NTA. He has absolutely no f*****g right to take anything that belongs to you. He seems so childish and immature. He has absolutely no emotional intelligence to understand sentimental value. What a child. I could not bear to be with him. He did you wrong. He could have sold something of his but instead he stole from you. You did nothing wrong. He is the asshole. Unbelievable.
Story is fake. He has compassion for his nephew to buy a gaming chair but none for his wife that he physically takes something that a) belongs to his wife and b) KNOWS that she is keeping because of sentimental value? And then she gets her item back by justifiably selling something of his, she feels guilty? Get out of town.
he is someone who thinks it is in my house it is mine, not a good sign. Had a spouse do the same, took money, sold wedding rings, because he needed the money, didn't care if the money was for his son's birthday gift, he wanted it. it was a family heirloom he sold for a chair that will be worth $0 in a few years.
in the article, someone commented that he needed counselling because he sounded like he had mental illness sometimes people are just unethical and shady
What a d**k. He made a promise but made some one else pay for it....Good cause or not IT WAS NOT his to sell. He should have sold his X-Box initially if he really cares.......
Your husband is not a good person. I have priceless things (to me) in my home and if my partner would steal them and sell any of them, before his beloved PS4, to fulfil a promise he made, he would lose a lot more than just his PS4! How can anyone think that she is in the wrong here???
The husband is at fault entirely... I mean he sold something that wasn't his and now is angry because to get her precious tea set back, she did something similar... If you want to help your nephew, sell something that belongs to you solely. Just because you are married doesn't mean you sell your partner's stuff without consent... Consent is important in any relationship.. including blood relations. Just act normal and he will be on his normal behaviour. The other person i feel bad for is the nephew.. he has a stupid uncle who is emotionally stunted
On the consent front, the idea that he obligated them to a large expense without talking to her first is a major red flag, before we even get to his egregious decision to sell her stuff to pay for it.
Load More Replies... Neither one of these people should be married to one another. The problem here is that the husband does NOT consider his wife at all. His promise to his nephew is more important to him than she is. She should not have done the same thing to him that he did to her. BUT, she is in the right. None of this would have happened if he hadn't been so dismissive of her. He's the A&&.
If she'd done it to teach him a lesson I'd agree with you, but he needed to provide the money to get it back and it looks like selling his XBox was the only way that was going to happen. He was going to save money to buy her a teaset, s he can just save money to replace his XBox instead. Frankly he owes his SIL $50 too. No reason the wife should be paying that debt.
Load More Replies... It's always stunning to me to hear than an adult has a video game at all.
Minor point about some of the comments calling the set an heirloom: she says "antique tea set my grandmother gifted me." That could mean it was the grandmother's own tea set passed down, an heirloom. It also could mean that the grandma picked it up at, say, a yard sale and gave it to her, in which case it isn't an heirloom. Either way, it has sentimental value and it was wrong of the husband to dispose of it without permission.
When did boredpanda become a place for strangers to tell us about their personal relationship probmems?? Yuck. I guess you all like trashy reality shows, so why am I surprised. Stop the trash content.
Recovering stolen property by stealing from the thief to get it back is not two wrongs don't make a right. It's called righting a wrong.
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