Guy Wonders If He’s A Jerk For Refusing To Clean The Litter Box While His Wife Is Pregnant, The Internet Doesn’t Hold Back
Pregnancy is one of the most exciting and joyful times in life, but it can be one of the most stressful too. It’s perfectly normal to experience a rollercoaster of emotions—not to mention intense physical changes as your body changes to accommodate a growing baby.
That’s why it’s incredibly important to receive as much support as you can get during this period. But sadly, not everyone is capable of providing it. Like Reddit user mozzz22.
Recently, his wife got pregnant and asked the man to cover one of her responsibilities—cleaning her cat’s litter box. But mozzz22 was adamant. He told her there was no way he was going to pick up the trowel and suggested giving up the pet instead.
After he started hearing other people calling him names for it, the man made a post on the subreddit ‘Am I the [Jerk]?‘ asking if he was really in the wrong. Here’s what he wrote.
This man confessed that he really hates animals
Image credits: Laura LaRose (not the actual photo)
It’s so bad that he even refuses to clean his pregnant wife’s cat’s litter box and would rather have her risk getting toxoplasmosis
Image credits: Amina Filkins (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/mozzz22
Experts say you can change your cat’s litter box safely while you’re pregnant, but it’s better to have someone else do this chore if possible. The main concern here is toxoplasmosis.
It’s an infection caused by a parasite called Toxoplasma gondii. People often get it from eating undercooked meat, but it also spreads through contact with cat feces.
Most infected people do not have symptoms and it’s usually harmless, but the parasite can pass to a baby during pregnancy, causing miscarriage and birth defects.
Luckily, the chances of getting toxoplasmosis for the first time during pregnancy are thought to be very small. And even if you do become infected for the first time while pregnant, this doesn’t necessarily mean your baby is in danger. In fact, in many cases, the infection doesn’t spread to the baby.
Still, each year, between 800 and 4,400 babies in the United States are born with toxoplasmosis.
About 1 in 10 babies (10 percent) with the infection are born with problems, including:
- Eye infections or eye inflammation;
- Swollen liver and spleen;
- Jaundice (when a baby’s eyes and skin look yellow);
- Seizures or convulsions;
- Fluid on the brain (hydrocephalus);
- Swollen lymph nodes;
- Large head size (macrocephaly) or smaller-than-normal head size (microcephaly);
- Feeding problems;
- Low birthweight;
- Skin rash or bruising.
Without treatment, newborns may develop problems later in life, even if they show no symptoms early on. This can happen even 20 or 30 years later. These problems include:
- Intellectual and developmental disabilities (problems with how the brain works that can cause your baby trouble or delays in physical development, learning, communicating, taking care of themselves, or getting along with others);
- Eye infections and vision problems;
- Pneumonia;
- Cerebral palsy (a group of conditions that affects the parts of the brain that control the muscles. It can cause problems with movement, posture, standing up straight, and balance);
- Seizures or convulsions;
- Hearing loss.
Why would you risk something like that when you can just clean the cat’s litter box for a few months?
People unanimously condemned the man for not stepping up when his wife needs him the most
Red flag when a person doesn’t like animals. Definitely YTA and I hope she divorces him. He puts deals and his own selfish desires over his wife and unborn child.
My mums best friend doesn't like animals. Of any kind. Baby or not. Just cannot help but think that's something a little wrong there 😕
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Never trust anyone who hates animals. F*****g sociopaths. Found out a couple people at work hate animals and I will never fully trust them.
He's totally trying to use her pregnancy as an excuse to get rid of the cat
Uhhh babies can be related here like pets. You have to clean after them. Feed them. Try to understand these non verbal screaming things. (Until they talk). Then when they move around an wreck your possessions oh boy. You can't just toss them out or give them away. It's an 18 year or more commitment. But you get unconditional love from both by taking care of them. I'm thinking this guy is gonna have issues being a dad and taking responsibility when the mom has to leaving him in control. It's not babysitting. It's parenting.
I would NEVER get involved with someone who hates animals, especially cats. I'm not keen on dogs, so I wouldn't get involved with someone who had dogs. But yes! The husband is TA!
I'm putting my money on *if* something happens to the baby due to OP's arrogance and refusal to help her, he's going to take that opportunity to bounce and get a divorce because, "It's her fault for wanting a cat, because I hate animals," (his point-of-view). My own husband and I talked about getting a cat and I told him he'd be on litterbox duty if and when I got pregnant. He told me that was perfectly fine. OP needs to grow up and get over himself, because, from where I'm sitting, he's too selfish to be a good parent.
There is no universe where you are not TBAH for not scooping the litter while she's pregnant. Buckle up buddy…as much "work" as the cat is…a baby and child is more by about a 1000 times. Adjust your attitude, scoop the litter and apologize to your wife profusely for being such an AH. If you're lucky she'll let you back into her life and you can move forward from here. A good step forward would be to not only scoop the litter, but also feed the cat…the cat will start to like you a bit, and maybe you'll like the cat a bit more too.
No one likes to do the cat litter, but even my husband was more than willing to do it everyday while I was pregnant because he isn't an a-hole
This guy is totally 100% the AH in this scenario. Seriously?? Guess what? I'm NOT pregnant, never will be again, and my husband cleans out the litterbox while I take care of feeding them, grooming them, and bringing them to the vet. It's called teamwork. If he's so squeamish about the fricking litterbox, how's he gonna be when the baby is born? MAJOR RED FLAG. $20 says he won't help with the baby either.
YTA. Get a self cleaning litter box or buy disposable biodegradable litter boxes. Yes it’s going to be expensive but if that’s what it takes for you to not act like a child, then so be it. I love my disposable litter box. I still scoop but once a month I get to toss the whole thing.
Can't wait for his posts in 9 months about how his wife pressured him for a child and now it's 100% her responsibility to care for and he's freaking out that he has to take care of it while she's got the flu
My husband and I got our cat a month after I miscarried. I went through a depression and self doubt that I did something wrong. The cat was soothing to me and helped me through it. A few months later, my husband was diagnosed with cancer and had the same risks of harm to himself if he cleaned the litter box. I took on the responsibility without hesitation. Six months after finishing his treatment, we found out I was pregnant and the litter box torch was passed to him. A marriage is a partnership. It's built on trust and support towards one another; not pettiness and selfishness.
Thank you for sharing your story. It must have been very difficult for both of you. But you've shown so much courage and it's uplifting to hear a story of true commitment such as yours. I wish you both well.
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if he won't change the cat litter I'm sure he won't take care of his baby
If he can’t care for a pet he’s not going to want to look after and clean up after the poor baby either ☹️
When I read the title I was sure that YTA but after reading 70% of your diatribe I am convinced that you're a capital AH. Why she married you only she knows. I bet you would want her to wash your *SS when you're sick and can't do it, though, wouldn't you? I feel so bad for her because I know another AH like you. Girlfriend, start preparing for getting no help from him when you give birth. AH to the enth degree!
You can have your cat tested to see if it carries the parasite/disease. If it's a strictly indoor cat, the chances of it carrying it are very very low, and highly unlikely to contract it after it has been tested (and proven negative.) A pregnant woman digging in the garden is just as likely to contract it as if cleaning a carrying cat's little box. Yes, the guy's a HUGE A.H. but for her peace of mind, she should get it tested.
... he hates cats. How do people who hate cats end up anywhere at all, even get married? If there was a special human she, and said she'd tell me she hates cats, I'd introduce her to the door and tell her she has a few minutes to pack her stuff, then have to leave forever, and if she forgot stuff, she'll find it under the window in the following days, unless somebody walking by found themselves interested. Cat hating people, I don't really need to be around. They're among the worst. Also, YTA.
I tolerate dogs, mice, like goats, cows, hens, parrots etc but hate cats. Not everyone likes every pet. Cats in the country side are gross, carry diseases and lick every food. Most farmers in my village hated cats because they'd lick milk, put in dead rats etc and the daily or even monthly income is now spoiled. Their s**t and hair is toxic as well. There are enough reasons to hate them and still get married.
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What an embellishment of a man! I'm pregnant and my husband has no problem cleaning the cat box because he's a man not a child.
OP is not only TA but a sociopath. I hope the kid takes after the mom.
OMG, this is almost the same as a friend of mine's situation, which happened a while ago, except she had 2 cats & no sister. The husband's reasoning was eerily similar though. My friend ended up cleaning the litterboxes by herself (wouldn't tell me until after the baby was born, otherwise, I would've helped her). The kid was later diagnosed with leukemia & I don't know whether it was the result of litter box cleaning (toxoplasmosis could be the reason), and she and her husband got divorced a few years down the road. Sad story.
Totally TA. If he hates taking care of animals he's in for one hell of an awakening with a newborn around, figuratively and literally. Hope she takes HER cat and leaves. I'd rather buy a self cleaning box than live with this absolute winner...
This man doesn't love his wife or unborn child. He already treats his relationship with his wife as a series of transactions. Soon he'll make the excuse that he didn't decide to get her pregnant, so he's not responsible for the baby either. I hope she has a good lawyer.
Aside from the health risks, when you're pregnant your sense of smell is really heightened. I could smell macaroni coming out of the oven two houses away. The faint smell of dog poo made me vomit. I can't imagine trying to clean up cat poo.
This is the reasoning of a ten year old. This woman is having a baby with a ten year old; who doesn’t like CATS. There are no redeeming qualities here. None. This woman will suffer hell until she dumps the wailing baby man, I hope she does it sooner rather than later because having a baby is hard enough without also having to juggle around a pouting ten year old manbaby.
If he doesn't care about his unborn child.....he won't care about it after it is born. He is a selfish, narcissistic person. Plus an animal hater.
I sincerely hope she really reevaluates where she is with this douchecanoe. Raising a child as a single mother is good awful, but having THIS around sounds like it will only make matters worse. It'll be the case anyways where he's just gonna tell the kid to go their mother for help with anything. And he's ALMOST F*****G 40. Act your goddamn age.
Major red flag and never trust someone who doesn't like animals - and to just ignore it too and not even come around. Vile human and well done risking your babies life
Why be with someone who hates animals when you have animals? That's a major red flag. Also, the fact he cares so little about her health and that of the unborn baby, is another huge red flag. Honey, he ain't worth your time.
2/2 you as she can! She can definitely find a man who will love her, love her baby, as if it were his own. Because it is very apparent, you will not even love this baby enough to prevent a serious disease from attacking it, before it is even born. This sounds harsh, but I really think this is your truth. For whatever reason, or life before meeting your wife. If I were her, i would go get tested for Toxoplasmosis now, in case she has had enough co tact to get it. You, need a woman like yourself, nit a woman who loves cats and babies.
If you need to post a pair of messages to contain everything, make 2/2 a reply to 1/2. This comment is nowhere near 1/2.
Load More Replies... I think, since you know and understand the risks to your wife and i born child if she scoops the kitty litter, makes you a person and a man, that will ALWAYS put himself first and then whom ever else is in the picture. Maybe. Not about putting yourself first, I'm positive you will always do this. So, mr. A** wipe... i think your wife should take a cue and leave tour sorry a** alone and take the baby and get as far away from tou
That was a dumb arrangement to begin with, they have a lot more issues to work out than who cleans the litter box. They both sound selfish to me, him for refusing to help with the litter box, her for insisting on the cat in the first place knowing he didn't want a cat. When she made that deal, who did she think would take care of the cat if she was suddenly not home for a week?
the guy is a jerk for not taking the risk seriously, and that seems to be the overwhelming consensus. but why all the hate about him not wanting animals in the house in general?
Actually a chance of getting toxo from an indoor cat from scooping its litter is close to none. First the cat must be actively sick, second she would have to digest the microbes (read: eat poop). We have six 100% indoor cats. I have been tested during pregnancy for toxo and guess what: no antibodies were found in my system. So yeah, I call it b******t.
His reasons are 1) he hates cats 2) she got one when he didn’t want one so it’s her job. Does he hate his child more than cats because he’s willing to risk its health/life over this. I feel like he’s punishing his unborn child for a deal his that was made before it was conceived. He didn’t make the deal with the baby so he should scoop for the baby’s sake even though he clearly couldn’t care less about his wife.
Yes Sir, you are; and for your information, as well as several other commenters, your responsibility re cleaning the litter box will extend well beyond the time of your child's birth. You need to consider the fact that for as long as she is nursing or even bottle feeding your child there is a possibility they could still become infected from your Wife"s exposure to the cat's feces. I have a couple of friends where their spouse does not like cats, but have always taken on the litter box duties and also feeding the animals when they are sick, which to me is what one does in a functional marriage. Do this and you will find it will result in a stronger marriage in the future - whereas if you don't, it could be an eventually hurdle later in your Life that you will not be able to make it past. I wish you, your Wife, and your Child good luck in the future.
My guess is that the cat, despite a lack of opposable thumbs, ability to change nappies and sing sweet lullabies to the soon to arrive baby would still be a better parent than this utter a-hole.
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA. You are not only an as*hole but a selfish bas*ard as well. It's only one cat, not 10. You don't even have to touch the cat. Your only have to scoop it once a day. Yep, you're going to make a mighty fine father too, AH.
Get rid of the cat! Amen. I wonder how this would've played out, if he was allergic?
This wife needs to kick him out. If he won't help with the car, he won't help with the baby. Expect as an excuse to get rid of the cat. Toxoplasmosis is very dangerous to an unborn child and since women seldom have symptoms themselves, they don't know the baby is not ok until they're born or mom miscarries.
Pregnant women should NOT be around a used litter box. HELLOOOO! Toxoplasmosis risk for mom and baby!! This dude is effectively putting wife and child in harms way.
If he can't handle scooping a litter box, how will he handle dirty diapers? Being pooped, peed, and puked on is par for the course with babies. Will the child then somehow be only her responsibility?
The AUDACITY to expose his wife and unborn kid to all the risks just because "it's HeR rEspOnSibiLitY and I doN't liKe aNimalS" 😟 We could hope that he would be the best father in the world and take care of the baby in all aspects but chances are he will be just as useless and unhelpful as he is now, I wonder what excuse he would use to not help clean after the baby in the future
Better question is why is she procreating with this worthless bag of space?
He needs a selfishness intervention. Wtf. This marriage is doomed, kids. Never trust someone who "hates" pets. Not wanting them or thinking they're too much trouble is not the same. He used the word "hate" and that is ALWAYS a sign of something not good in their general mental health and behavior.
I don't "like" cats myself, but this dude is still the AH. There has got to be something stronger than AH to describe him
I mean, the solution was obvious for OP from the very start, he just wants to get rid of the cat. OP has noted that he only tolerates it in the house, and now that the cat has become a liability he expected the wife to rehome it or bring it to the pound. He never anticipated his wife being so stubborn about what was, in his eyes, a dirty nuisance, and thus came to Reddit to ask for an opinion. Reddit, being Reddit, strikes again.
Mr. You are headed for a divorce because if this is the way you treat her and your baby now it's not getting any better. You hate animals and their messes. How are you going to treat a baby that eats, poops, and vomits? If you don't love your wife and baby enough now to keep them safe now what will change when the baby gets here? You should have married a person who hated animals and didn't want kids, that would have been a better match for you. Marriage means compromise. Man up, you're a husband and father, life as you know it will never be the same again.
I won’t even associate with someone who doesn’t like animals, especially dogs since we’ve always had a dog. I like cats but would never own one. The woman is pregnant; what guarantee has she that the cat didn’t jump up on the counter and tough her sandwich with the same paws with which it walked around on its litter box?
Wow, even my "men don't do housework" ex husband cleaned the litter box when I was pregnant..twice. You're the AH.
She will keep looking after cat. In nine months, it won't be a problem for her. And if she has sense, you won't be either. YTA
Never,EVER trust any person that hates animals.Period.If I was the man's pregnant wife,I'd be rehoming HIM.Immediately!
My husband was not fond of the idea of getting a cat back then, so we also made a "verbal contract" that I'm going to clean the litter box. I don't mind, because it takes only 2 minutes a day, but of course he'll take over when I'll be pregnant. He also cleaned it when I had a knee injury a few months ago or when I was out of town for a couple of days. And of course he did it without asking, because he's not an AH. By the way he adores the cat now, I can't even understand how this guy can live with a cat and hate it... I mean, Bored Panda is full of those "My dad said no cat -> it's his cat now" comparison photos, cats definitely have the ability to make themselves liked :)
Trust animals way more than humans! Anyone who doesn't like animals definitely will not like children! Serious red flags 🤯
He's a self absorbed idiot. What she doesn't need is a grown-up child! Dude YTA!
How did this guy think it was going to turn out? Did he genuinely think people would take his side?
Wife: Feed that piece of low grade human meat to the cat. It's just about the best that can be done with that excuse of a person you, whyever you'd want this, married. Or get rid of that thing otherwise ... I'd even consider termination, divorce, better husband - literally just picking the 4th dude you meet at the train station has quite a possibility to be a better choice - and live with your cat, your new improved and generally better husband, and as many children as you, he and the cat want to have around.
It's not so much a problem that he didn't want a cat. The problem is that he's being willfully neglectful of his future child. He can't be bothered to scoop litter for nine months to LITERALLY protect his child. He's an ignorant, selfish fool, and sounds like he's going to be a s**t father.
Load More Replies... Really? You'd risk the life of your unborn child over having to scoop kitty litter for 9 months? Pathetic.
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Don't worry, you definitely won't have to worry about being asked to be a good husband... or a husband at all. I am wondering what it was that damaged YOUR brain, though. You missed several words and your sentence structure is confusing, at best.
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Every doctor worth their degree will tell a pregnant woman to NEVER change the litterbox. This is a non-negotiable risk avoidance to protect the developing baby. This man is an irresponsible, whinging, selfish child.
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I understand that you think, sticking to an agreement, especially over a task you hate, is the right way because it is like gamerules- without people sticking to rules, where would the game go? BUT in a relationship everybody should be aware, that things change, compromises are very important and in this szenario the wife is getting THEIR child. I assume He wants it too, so He should do what He can so that they reach their goal. It would be a temporary inconvenience - but the woman has her fair share more than enough. Plus the very important Part of the life threatening risk. You don't have to love cats to understand that taking away someone you love, just because a temporary inconvenience, is very cruel. Try to think about someone or something you love. And because you can not be there for it for the next months (because it's dangerous), you will lose it forever.
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Red flag when a person doesn’t like animals. Definitely YTA and I hope she divorces him. He puts deals and his own selfish desires over his wife and unborn child.
My mums best friend doesn't like animals. Of any kind. Baby or not. Just cannot help but think that's something a little wrong there 😕
Load More Replies... Never trust anyone who hates animals. F*****g sociopaths. Found out a couple people at work hate animals and I will never fully trust them.
He's totally trying to use her pregnancy as an excuse to get rid of the cat
Uhhh babies can be related here like pets. You have to clean after them. Feed them. Try to understand these non verbal screaming things. (Until they talk). Then when they move around an wreck your possessions oh boy. You can't just toss them out or give them away. It's an 18 year or more commitment. But you get unconditional love from both by taking care of them. I'm thinking this guy is gonna have issues being a dad and taking responsibility when the mom has to leaving him in control. It's not babysitting. It's parenting.
I would NEVER get involved with someone who hates animals, especially cats. I'm not keen on dogs, so I wouldn't get involved with someone who had dogs. But yes! The husband is TA!
I'm putting my money on *if* something happens to the baby due to OP's arrogance and refusal to help her, he's going to take that opportunity to bounce and get a divorce because, "It's her fault for wanting a cat, because I hate animals," (his point-of-view). My own husband and I talked about getting a cat and I told him he'd be on litterbox duty if and when I got pregnant. He told me that was perfectly fine. OP needs to grow up and get over himself, because, from where I'm sitting, he's too selfish to be a good parent.
There is no universe where you are not TBAH for not scooping the litter while she's pregnant. Buckle up buddy…as much "work" as the cat is…a baby and child is more by about a 1000 times. Adjust your attitude, scoop the litter and apologize to your wife profusely for being such an AH. If you're lucky she'll let you back into her life and you can move forward from here. A good step forward would be to not only scoop the litter, but also feed the cat…the cat will start to like you a bit, and maybe you'll like the cat a bit more too.
No one likes to do the cat litter, but even my husband was more than willing to do it everyday while I was pregnant because he isn't an a-hole
This guy is totally 100% the AH in this scenario. Seriously?? Guess what? I'm NOT pregnant, never will be again, and my husband cleans out the litterbox while I take care of feeding them, grooming them, and bringing them to the vet. It's called teamwork. If he's so squeamish about the fricking litterbox, how's he gonna be when the baby is born? MAJOR RED FLAG. $20 says he won't help with the baby either.
YTA. Get a self cleaning litter box or buy disposable biodegradable litter boxes. Yes it’s going to be expensive but if that’s what it takes for you to not act like a child, then so be it. I love my disposable litter box. I still scoop but once a month I get to toss the whole thing.
Can't wait for his posts in 9 months about how his wife pressured him for a child and now it's 100% her responsibility to care for and he's freaking out that he has to take care of it while she's got the flu
My husband and I got our cat a month after I miscarried. I went through a depression and self doubt that I did something wrong. The cat was soothing to me and helped me through it. A few months later, my husband was diagnosed with cancer and had the same risks of harm to himself if he cleaned the litter box. I took on the responsibility without hesitation. Six months after finishing his treatment, we found out I was pregnant and the litter box torch was passed to him. A marriage is a partnership. It's built on trust and support towards one another; not pettiness and selfishness.
Thank you for sharing your story. It must have been very difficult for both of you. But you've shown so much courage and it's uplifting to hear a story of true commitment such as yours. I wish you both well.
Load More Replies... if he won't change the cat litter I'm sure he won't take care of his baby
If he can’t care for a pet he’s not going to want to look after and clean up after the poor baby either ☹️
When I read the title I was sure that YTA but after reading 70% of your diatribe I am convinced that you're a capital AH. Why she married you only she knows. I bet you would want her to wash your *SS when you're sick and can't do it, though, wouldn't you? I feel so bad for her because I know another AH like you. Girlfriend, start preparing for getting no help from him when you give birth. AH to the enth degree!
You can have your cat tested to see if it carries the parasite/disease. If it's a strictly indoor cat, the chances of it carrying it are very very low, and highly unlikely to contract it after it has been tested (and proven negative.) A pregnant woman digging in the garden is just as likely to contract it as if cleaning a carrying cat's little box. Yes, the guy's a HUGE A.H. but for her peace of mind, she should get it tested.
... he hates cats. How do people who hate cats end up anywhere at all, even get married? If there was a special human she, and said she'd tell me she hates cats, I'd introduce her to the door and tell her she has a few minutes to pack her stuff, then have to leave forever, and if she forgot stuff, she'll find it under the window in the following days, unless somebody walking by found themselves interested. Cat hating people, I don't really need to be around. They're among the worst. Also, YTA.
I tolerate dogs, mice, like goats, cows, hens, parrots etc but hate cats. Not everyone likes every pet. Cats in the country side are gross, carry diseases and lick every food. Most farmers in my village hated cats because they'd lick milk, put in dead rats etc and the daily or even monthly income is now spoiled. Their s**t and hair is toxic as well. There are enough reasons to hate them and still get married.
Load More Replies... What an embellishment of a man! I'm pregnant and my husband has no problem cleaning the cat box because he's a man not a child.
OP is not only TA but a sociopath. I hope the kid takes after the mom.
OMG, this is almost the same as a friend of mine's situation, which happened a while ago, except she had 2 cats & no sister. The husband's reasoning was eerily similar though. My friend ended up cleaning the litterboxes by herself (wouldn't tell me until after the baby was born, otherwise, I would've helped her). The kid was later diagnosed with leukemia & I don't know whether it was the result of litter box cleaning (toxoplasmosis could be the reason), and she and her husband got divorced a few years down the road. Sad story.
Totally TA. If he hates taking care of animals he's in for one hell of an awakening with a newborn around, figuratively and literally. Hope she takes HER cat and leaves. I'd rather buy a self cleaning box than live with this absolute winner...
This man doesn't love his wife or unborn child. He already treats his relationship with his wife as a series of transactions. Soon he'll make the excuse that he didn't decide to get her pregnant, so he's not responsible for the baby either. I hope she has a good lawyer.
Aside from the health risks, when you're pregnant your sense of smell is really heightened. I could smell macaroni coming out of the oven two houses away. The faint smell of dog poo made me vomit. I can't imagine trying to clean up cat poo.
This is the reasoning of a ten year old. This woman is having a baby with a ten year old; who doesn’t like CATS. There are no redeeming qualities here. None. This woman will suffer hell until she dumps the wailing baby man, I hope she does it sooner rather than later because having a baby is hard enough without also having to juggle around a pouting ten year old manbaby.
If he doesn't care about his unborn child.....he won't care about it after it is born. He is a selfish, narcissistic person. Plus an animal hater.
I sincerely hope she really reevaluates where she is with this douchecanoe. Raising a child as a single mother is good awful, but having THIS around sounds like it will only make matters worse. It'll be the case anyways where he's just gonna tell the kid to go their mother for help with anything. And he's ALMOST F*****G 40. Act your goddamn age.
Major red flag and never trust someone who doesn't like animals - and to just ignore it too and not even come around. Vile human and well done risking your babies life
Why be with someone who hates animals when you have animals? That's a major red flag. Also, the fact he cares so little about her health and that of the unborn baby, is another huge red flag. Honey, he ain't worth your time.
2/2 you as she can! She can definitely find a man who will love her, love her baby, as if it were his own. Because it is very apparent, you will not even love this baby enough to prevent a serious disease from attacking it, before it is even born. This sounds harsh, but I really think this is your truth. For whatever reason, or life before meeting your wife. If I were her, i would go get tested for Toxoplasmosis now, in case she has had enough co tact to get it. You, need a woman like yourself, nit a woman who loves cats and babies.
If you need to post a pair of messages to contain everything, make 2/2 a reply to 1/2. This comment is nowhere near 1/2.
Load More Replies... I think, since you know and understand the risks to your wife and i born child if she scoops the kitty litter, makes you a person and a man, that will ALWAYS put himself first and then whom ever else is in the picture. Maybe. Not about putting yourself first, I'm positive you will always do this. So, mr. A** wipe... i think your wife should take a cue and leave tour sorry a** alone and take the baby and get as far away from tou
That was a dumb arrangement to begin with, they have a lot more issues to work out than who cleans the litter box. They both sound selfish to me, him for refusing to help with the litter box, her for insisting on the cat in the first place knowing he didn't want a cat. When she made that deal, who did she think would take care of the cat if she was suddenly not home for a week?
the guy is a jerk for not taking the risk seriously, and that seems to be the overwhelming consensus. but why all the hate about him not wanting animals in the house in general?
Actually a chance of getting toxo from an indoor cat from scooping its litter is close to none. First the cat must be actively sick, second she would have to digest the microbes (read: eat poop). We have six 100% indoor cats. I have been tested during pregnancy for toxo and guess what: no antibodies were found in my system. So yeah, I call it b******t.
His reasons are 1) he hates cats 2) she got one when he didn’t want one so it’s her job. Does he hate his child more than cats because he’s willing to risk its health/life over this. I feel like he’s punishing his unborn child for a deal his that was made before it was conceived. He didn’t make the deal with the baby so he should scoop for the baby’s sake even though he clearly couldn’t care less about his wife.
Yes Sir, you are; and for your information, as well as several other commenters, your responsibility re cleaning the litter box will extend well beyond the time of your child's birth. You need to consider the fact that for as long as she is nursing or even bottle feeding your child there is a possibility they could still become infected from your Wife"s exposure to the cat's feces. I have a couple of friends where their spouse does not like cats, but have always taken on the litter box duties and also feeding the animals when they are sick, which to me is what one does in a functional marriage. Do this and you will find it will result in a stronger marriage in the future - whereas if you don't, it could be an eventually hurdle later in your Life that you will not be able to make it past. I wish you, your Wife, and your Child good luck in the future.
My guess is that the cat, despite a lack of opposable thumbs, ability to change nappies and sing sweet lullabies to the soon to arrive baby would still be a better parent than this utter a-hole.
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA. You are not only an as*hole but a selfish bas*ard as well. It's only one cat, not 10. You don't even have to touch the cat. Your only have to scoop it once a day. Yep, you're going to make a mighty fine father too, AH.
Get rid of the cat! Amen. I wonder how this would've played out, if he was allergic?
This wife needs to kick him out. If he won't help with the car, he won't help with the baby. Expect as an excuse to get rid of the cat. Toxoplasmosis is very dangerous to an unborn child and since women seldom have symptoms themselves, they don't know the baby is not ok until they're born or mom miscarries.
Pregnant women should NOT be around a used litter box. HELLOOOO! Toxoplasmosis risk for mom and baby!! This dude is effectively putting wife and child in harms way.
If he can't handle scooping a litter box, how will he handle dirty diapers? Being pooped, peed, and puked on is par for the course with babies. Will the child then somehow be only her responsibility?
The AUDACITY to expose his wife and unborn kid to all the risks just because "it's HeR rEspOnSibiLitY and I doN't liKe aNimalS" 😟 We could hope that he would be the best father in the world and take care of the baby in all aspects but chances are he will be just as useless and unhelpful as he is now, I wonder what excuse he would use to not help clean after the baby in the future
Better question is why is she procreating with this worthless bag of space?
He needs a selfishness intervention. Wtf. This marriage is doomed, kids. Never trust someone who "hates" pets. Not wanting them or thinking they're too much trouble is not the same. He used the word "hate" and that is ALWAYS a sign of something not good in their general mental health and behavior.
I don't "like" cats myself, but this dude is still the AH. There has got to be something stronger than AH to describe him
I mean, the solution was obvious for OP from the very start, he just wants to get rid of the cat. OP has noted that he only tolerates it in the house, and now that the cat has become a liability he expected the wife to rehome it or bring it to the pound. He never anticipated his wife being so stubborn about what was, in his eyes, a dirty nuisance, and thus came to Reddit to ask for an opinion. Reddit, being Reddit, strikes again.
Mr. You are headed for a divorce because if this is the way you treat her and your baby now it's not getting any better. You hate animals and their messes. How are you going to treat a baby that eats, poops, and vomits? If you don't love your wife and baby enough now to keep them safe now what will change when the baby gets here? You should have married a person who hated animals and didn't want kids, that would have been a better match for you. Marriage means compromise. Man up, you're a husband and father, life as you know it will never be the same again.
I won’t even associate with someone who doesn’t like animals, especially dogs since we’ve always had a dog. I like cats but would never own one. The woman is pregnant; what guarantee has she that the cat didn’t jump up on the counter and tough her sandwich with the same paws with which it walked around on its litter box?
Wow, even my "men don't do housework" ex husband cleaned the litter box when I was pregnant..twice. You're the AH.
She will keep looking after cat. In nine months, it won't be a problem for her. And if she has sense, you won't be either. YTA
Never,EVER trust any person that hates animals.Period.If I was the man's pregnant wife,I'd be rehoming HIM.Immediately!
My husband was not fond of the idea of getting a cat back then, so we also made a "verbal contract" that I'm going to clean the litter box. I don't mind, because it takes only 2 minutes a day, but of course he'll take over when I'll be pregnant. He also cleaned it when I had a knee injury a few months ago or when I was out of town for a couple of days. And of course he did it without asking, because he's not an AH. By the way he adores the cat now, I can't even understand how this guy can live with a cat and hate it... I mean, Bored Panda is full of those "My dad said no cat -> it's his cat now" comparison photos, cats definitely have the ability to make themselves liked :)
Trust animals way more than humans! Anyone who doesn't like animals definitely will not like children! Serious red flags 🤯
He's a self absorbed idiot. What she doesn't need is a grown-up child! Dude YTA!
How did this guy think it was going to turn out? Did he genuinely think people would take his side?
Wife: Feed that piece of low grade human meat to the cat. It's just about the best that can be done with that excuse of a person you, whyever you'd want this, married. Or get rid of that thing otherwise ... I'd even consider termination, divorce, better husband - literally just picking the 4th dude you meet at the train station has quite a possibility to be a better choice - and live with your cat, your new improved and generally better husband, and as many children as you, he and the cat want to have around.
It's not so much a problem that he didn't want a cat. The problem is that he's being willfully neglectful of his future child. He can't be bothered to scoop litter for nine months to LITERALLY protect his child. He's an ignorant, selfish fool, and sounds like he's going to be a s**t father.
Load More Replies... Really? You'd risk the life of your unborn child over having to scoop kitty litter for 9 months? Pathetic.
Load More Replies... Don't worry, you definitely won't have to worry about being asked to be a good husband... or a husband at all. I am wondering what it was that damaged YOUR brain, though. You missed several words and your sentence structure is confusing, at best.
Load More Replies... Every doctor worth their degree will tell a pregnant woman to NEVER change the litterbox. This is a non-negotiable risk avoidance to protect the developing baby. This man is an irresponsible, whinging, selfish child.
Load More Replies... I understand that you think, sticking to an agreement, especially over a task you hate, is the right way because it is like gamerules- without people sticking to rules, where would the game go? BUT in a relationship everybody should be aware, that things change, compromises are very important and in this szenario the wife is getting THEIR child. I assume He wants it too, so He should do what He can so that they reach their goal. It would be a temporary inconvenience - but the woman has her fair share more than enough. Plus the very important Part of the life threatening risk. You don't have to love cats to understand that taking away someone you love, just because a temporary inconvenience, is very cruel. Try to think about someone or something you love. And because you can not be there for it for the next months (because it's dangerous), you will lose it forever.
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