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Pilot Skips Work Because His Stay-At-Home Wife Didn’t Iron His Uniform, Shows Her How Her Actions “Could Affect The Money That Keeps Coming In”
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Pilot Skips Work Because His Stay-At-Home Wife Didn’t Iron His Uniform, Shows Her How Her Actions “Could Affect The Money That Keeps Coming In”

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Some days, it is harder than others to make it to work. You might wake up feeling exhausted, sleep through your alarm and end up running out the door wearing two shoes that don’t match, or you might just be dreading the day if you’re not passionate about your profession. But one way or another, we all manage to find a way to show up, even when we’re feeling off or we’re just not in the mood. You don’t have to look your best, or even perform your very best every single day, but you’ve still got to be there.

Well, most of us have to be there. One pilot, however, recently decided that he would rather skip his shift than show up sporting an unironed uniform. Below, you can read the full story that his wife posted on the “Am I the [Jerk]?” subreddit, where she asked readers their thoughts on an argument that recently transpired between the two of them. We would love to hear what you think about the situation in the comments below, and then if you’re interested in reading a Bored Panda article discussing how challenging being a stay-at-home parent can be, check out this story next. 

After she didn’t have time to iron her husband’s work uniform, this stay-at-home mom says he then tried to “teach her a lesson”

Image credits: Liliana Drew (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Kelly (not the actual photo)

Image credits: throwRa6546009

There is a common misconception that stay-at-home parents have it easier than their spouses who go to work every day. One would think that this husband would understand how much his wife has on her plate though, because he lives with her and reaps the benefits of her labor. He should notice how much she takes care of for himself and their children, but given this story that she shared, he does not sound like the most considerate man in the world. 

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Being a stay-at-home parent may not be a paid position, but it is certainly still a full-time job, especially when you have three children like the mother in this story. According to Mass Live, stay-at-home parents work the equivalent of 2.5 full-time jobs on average, when you factor in all of their responsibilities. They typically work 14 hour days, or 98 hours a week, starting their mornings at about 6:23am and ending their days around 8:30pm. As far as breaks are concerned, they usually only have about 1.7 hours of free time during the day. 

If a stay-at-home parent was actually paid for all of their labor, they would be earning about $126,725 a year. Their “jobs” typically include cooking, cleaning, laundry, running errands, commuting children to and from school and to other activities, helping with homework, taking care of any pets and tending to the lawn and/or garden. So when this husband asked his wife to iron his uniform, he should have first asked if she even had the time. He could have easily ironed the uniform himself or gone to work without it being ironed. Surely that would not have been the end of the world.

What is even more concerning than the fact that his husband seems to have no regard for how busy his wife is, is the fact that he felt the need to “teach her a lesson”. Spouses should be partners who support each other; they should not jump at the opportunity to pick a fight or cause conflicts. If one partner has too much on their plate, the other should be willing to help out or at least be understanding that they cannot do everything. There were so many ways this husband could have handled this situation that would have been more appropriate and more respectful than becoming angry and placing the blame on his wife.

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We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation down below. If you were in the wife’s shoes, what would you have told your husband? And if you are or have ever been a stay-at-home parent, feel free to shine some light on just how much work that job is. Then if you’re looking for another Bored Panda article to read discussing drama between spouses over the issue of one being a stay-at-home partner, you can find that story right here.  

Readers assured the mother that she had done nothing wrong, while many called out her husband for exhibiting major red flags

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tamrastiffler avatar
Tamra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy is a spoiled, misogynistic piece of s**t. This woman is your wife and mother of your children. She's sacrificing future earning power to raise your children, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with no pay, no holidays and no sick time. Iron your own goddamn shirts.

girts_fridbergs avatar
Girts Frīdbergs
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It makes my blood boil every time I read something like this. Never understood these "grown" men who can't do simple tasks, especially if it's as important as this.

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shannonandrew avatar
YourSecretSanta
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Married man here, I iron my own clothes out of preference. In the event I ask my wife to iron for me and she can't, I am perfectly able to iron it myself without acting like a spoilt child. This man is an AH of note

fatharry3 avatar
Fat Harry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My SO asks me to do her ironing because I'm better at it :D Not that either of us irons an awful lot, but if we're going out I'll be the one ironing shirts. It takes her longer to get ready anyway, so I might as well if only to speed things along!

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emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Speaking as the aunt of a pilot and a former army wife. Showing up in a clean, but wrinkled uniform can get you written up. But, his arms weren't broken and, as I can also guarantee, had the wife called the supervisor or commanding officer, the husband would have been the one in trouble because the bosses consider it the pilots responsibility to look after their own gear. If he is a commercial airline pilot, he would be in additional hot water because the airlines are already getting heat for the number of cancelled or delayed flights...I don't think they'd take too kindly to a pilot calling out because of a wrinkled uniform he was to stubborn to iron himself.

tarsa13 avatar
CL Rowan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He can take his damn uniform to the drycleaners to be pressed. Costs all of $10. While he's doing that, she can call a divorce lawyer.

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libstak avatar
Libstak
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It would take a maximum of 5 mins to iron the shirt. He skipped an entire shift as a pilot because of a 5 minute job. Let's think about all the ways this is absolutely pathetic. As others have said I pray he is never a pilot on any plane I fly.

bobvanwijk avatar
bob van wijk
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He asked her to iron his uniform. That's a lot of work. I haven't ironed in ages. My dad had to wear suits for work. He ironed em himself. He learned that in the military. It had to be perfect. My mom didn't do it good enough according to him lol.

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michaeltimme avatar
Michael Timme
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While I was still living at home my mother gave me a gift of an iron, ironing board and lessons on how to use them. My parents raised me to take care of myself and I'm still thankful for that.

fatharry3 avatar
Fat Harry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can the man not iron his own shirt? I'd be embarrassed to be a 21st century man who couldn't take care of his own household chores.

spacetopus-uk avatar
anonymous_25 avatar
Anonymous
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

(Now the roses have wilted, And violets are all dead, Sugar is full of flies, Just like the misogynist's head. ) But fr, Op should rethink this relationship. Idk if I'm being paranoid or something but I think this is how abuse starts.

shicasey83 avatar
Shiloh Casey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like the abuse has been going on for a while. Just may not be physical...yet. However, somebody did ask OP if he has ever been violent and she answered some of the questions but not that one.

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vernon_bear avatar
Gavin Johnson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ve worked in jobs that have demanded tip top presentation, concierge at top end hotel and the likes, I was lucky to have a partner who was a sahm and she ran the home in an organised and almost military fashion. My suits were dry cleaned / pressed through work but shirts were mine to sort, now she organised washing but ironing was split between us, honestly I found it quite cathartic, but if I didn’t have a shirt prepped for work the responsibility for that fell to me, I’m a grown man, I can wash and iron a shirt FFS, if I can’t look into my wardrobe 24 hours ahead of time and check my shirts and get them sorted as required then I shouldn’t be looking after VIPs & running the team at my hotel. It’s MY job, it’s MY responsibility to be appropriately attired, it’s on ME to be organised.

erikgranqvist avatar
Erik Ivan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am married since 28 years. And it is super rare that my handicapped wife does the ironing. The dude should learn how to take care of a household - because he is part of it, and it is everyones shared responsibility to help where it's possible.

blue1steven avatar
Donkey boi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone else think it's funny how close the acronym SAHM is to the word Sham? I get it, sometimes it works for people, but you've got to remember that like any job, the workload can fluctuate, and extra projects can cause certain tasks to go undone and so, like any job, the worker has to decide how to prioritise. Your shirt can wait! That cake you want for work, might need to be bought from a bakery! You might need to buy your lunch tomorrow! It's a job without wages or time off, but it's still a job!

kathrynbaylis_2 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And f**k it, your work shirts can be sent to the dry cleaners to be washed and pressed. That would at least relieve your wife of the burden of washing and ironing YOUR damn shirts, on top of every damn thing else a stay at home mom of three does!

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dkreupeling avatar
Puck
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Try explaining it like this: when you ask me to iron your uniform when i'm already busy it's the same as asking you to handle safety-instructions to the passengers while you are starting take-off. It might not be possible, because you are busy doing something else that is also essential. Image this scenario when there are stewards on board to handle those safety-instructions and they still ask you to do it.....

stephalfbrotherinlaw avatar
Oscar Turing
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd be interested to know what super important task kept him from ironing his own shirt. Also the whole "my income so important" narrative is greatly undermined by impulsively blowing off work. Also also, how is blowing off the entire day an even trade off? Does she get to do nothing for the rest of the day now?

nisegenmuko avatar
Nisegen Muko
Community Member
1 year ago

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You must be rich tuen despite the growing cost of basic goods due to inflation.

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laurabamber avatar
The Starsong Princess
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He just told you out loud that your primary role is to serve him and he will punish you if you don’t serve to his satisfaction. Take a look at your life and make decisions based on this knowledge. You need an exit plan.

caseymcalister avatar
Casey McAlister
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, the husband is a massive jerk. He was so worried that a wrinkled uniform makes him look unprofessional that he decided to just miss his work Because skipping your shift on a whim is definitely what a professional would do.

o2tiger avatar
The Last Silent Tiger
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On the positive side, he can now stay home and watch his 3 children while the wife takes a much needed break.

shawnmckinney avatar
shawn mckinney
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Two words: dry cleaner. I dislike ironing. Let them do it

c_devine avatar
Seedy Vine
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, OP. It's sad you even have to ask. Did your husband give birth to three children? Does he help raise them? Does he cook and clean? Do you get an allowance or have any savings? Do you ever get any free time? If not, this situation sounds a lot like financial and spousal abuse. Grown men who throw their weight around their own home while being too frightened to pick up a GD iron should go marry their mommies.

sophieadele1 avatar
Sillypants
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. OP, please start stashing money away and plan for your escape. Manipulation is slow but steady.

jameskramer avatar
James016
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He can do his own ironing. The rest of his attitude is terrible

humbertozapico avatar
Humberto Zapico
Community Member
1 year ago

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True he can. He shouldn't miss work either. He can probably get a new wife easier than another Pilot Job.

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mistydawnviktoriamoon avatar
Misty Moon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wth was he doing for an hour that was so important that he couldn't either A. iron his own damn uniform or B. take over helping the kids and doing the laundry so she could iron it for him? Smh. Marriage is supposed to be a team effort-a partnership, not a dictatorship!

bobvanwijk avatar
bob van wijk
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

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www_doreybb avatar
Dorey Bell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless he has a major physical challenge, he should have ironed his uniform. Another option is to put the clothes in the dryer. Because he didn't work that day, he should have assisted with the household duties.

fuyuukifukada avatar
Fuyuuki Fukada
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That also means this dude should not even get near to the cockpit. You just created a paradox.

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cdenese56 avatar
C D Whitney
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA Your husband needs to be responsible for meeting the responsibilities of his job. If he doesn't want to send his uniforms out then he should learn to iron. Your priority is taking care of the children. If he occasionally asks and you have time to iron a uniform that's great but he needs to be prepared to handle his responsibilities instead of acting like one of the children.

carnitaeilertson avatar
Carnita Eilertson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would be working on an exit strategy. Start putting aside some money, look at job opportunities friends or family you could go to. Throwing tantrums and teaching lessons are only going to escalate. Please take action now, is this how you want your children to see their mom being treated? Think that it's ok? How does he treat them? Get your ducks in a row and leave while he is in the sky.

saraanderson avatar
Sara Anderson
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's called put it in the dryer with a damp towel for like 20 mins. Poof, wrinkles gone. Help yourself out instead of demeaning another person. That dude needs to have a reality check.

aradiav avatar
Aradia Sayner
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with one of the respondents. I would have called his boss and told them exactly why he wasn't at work.

robinbautista avatar
Robin Bautista
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow all the people agreeing with the husband on here are assholes, I was a stay-at-home mom until my youngest started kindergarten and I took all the verbal abuse from my husband I did everything took care of the kids the house the clothes him everything else but once I did go to work and started bringing my own money home at first he thought I would give him my paycheck well that did not happen but after several years I finally started standing up for myself once I started standing up for myself things went downhill and he ran and found him another woman who would pet him like a baby so after 34 years of marriage three grown children, seven grandchildren and me out of work due to disabilities he walked out and left us all I was smart enough to get the house and the cars but now he has his little girlfriend rubbing his back and telling him what a big man he is and I have the freedom to actually be happy. You op need to run from this man you need to stand up for yourself and see if he loves you or if it's time for you to pack your bags and go

cmkar avatar
CM Kar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, these men don't want wives. They want sex goddesses, mommies, maids and housekeepers. Sorry you went through all that. Glad you stood up for yourself.

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mim8209 avatar
MimSorensson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why in the name of everything decent and good couldn’t he iron his own goddamned work attire? Since he’s a pilot, I assume he does have two functional hands. Is he allergic to ironing boards, what’s the problem here?

monicamichelle avatar
Monica Michelle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

#1 hush to divorce lawyer do not let on 2. Open a small credit card 3. Put money in a secret account 4. If things have not improved rent a small apartment or room 5. If things are still bad start proceedings and move to new place until your are safe

anb1388 avatar
Allison B
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Husband is an AH! Can you say misogyny?! I mean seriously! Also I'm a 34 year old woman and just realized today my brother got me a iron like 2 years ago. I never iron sooo. 😂

nisegenmuko avatar
Nisegen Muko
Community Member
1 year ago

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Please tell me you earn more than a pilot, if not. That would be a shame.

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mmelt76 avatar
Melissa TO
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He couldn't throw the uniform in the dryer to get most of the wrinkles out before he went to work?

bobvanwijk avatar
bob van wijk
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahaha or put it under a mattrass. I hate ironing. Once got a wrinkle jacket from someone. Wore it once. What a horrible thing. Wrinkle free fabric and just throw it in the dryer.

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savannahyoung avatar
S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Damn, sorry about your shitty f*****g husband. Hope that works out although I don't see him changing for the better...

maria_focsa avatar
Mariaf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I keep running on Facebook on a little jingle "Your wife is your partner, not your mom / maid". This guy should learn it

arandomanvil avatar
A Random Anvil
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, he chose to miss work, so it seems like he's the one responsible for financially impacting the household.

kjl01 avatar
Karen Lyon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have never and never will understand this BS. My late parents were born in the mid 1930's, got married in 1958 and had five kids by their sixth wedding anniversary. In a lot of ways, they were very much people of their generation, and in a lot of ways they weren't. For example: My Mom worked as a nurse for 42 years. When we were growing up there were practical reasons for that, but later in their lives she kept working because she loved it. My Dad totally supported her career. He wasn't much into housework, but he did change diapers, did child care/homework support/bedtime rituals when she was napping so she work her 11 pm - 7am shift. And, as I mentioned below, ironed his clothes for work because he knew she hated ironing and saw no reason to make that into an issue. If my parents. who were raised in a more "traditional" time could let go of the idea rigid "roles" in a marriage, two people who are raising their family in the 21st century should be able to manage that as well.

bibblescat avatar
Jane Dorothy Warner
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like my ex, who dragged me out of bed at 6am to iron a work shirt. So one day I got him up cos the car wouldn't go. I had an early morning cleaning shift to go to. He didn't like it.

catherineheiby avatar
Catherine Heiby
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why can't he gather, launder, fold & iron his own clothes? His wife is not his maid nor his slave! My husband has done his own laundry all of our marriage and he & I taught both of our children to do their own as well...we actually like doing our own laundry, in fact we prefer it! I've been teaching 4 out of 5 of my grandchildren to do the same!

koolmudkips avatar
kool mudkips
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel this way about it, If I am embarrassed to tell anyone about my actions, I am probably in the wrong. So, if he won't tell his employer or family and friends why he stayed home... he is in the wrong. It really helps me to know if what I am thinking of doing or saying in an argument is right or wrong. If I feel even slightly embarrassed at the thought of other people knowing I did/said something, I don't do it. I use to react when I was far too emotional when I was a young woman. Now I just imagine telling people. I don't really tell people much of my business ever. But the thought of it helps guide my actions and words. I want to be a person I am proud to be. I'm certain he'd be embarrassed for others to know what he did. (I hope so anyway)

stanflouride avatar
Stannous Flouride
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As is often the case, the responses are more entertaining than the OP's story.

viherjuuri avatar
Pansexual Phoenix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Holy cow! How can he fly a plane since he obvs doesn' t have arms?!? 😳

findgretta avatar
I'mNotARoboat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Half of these comments are made by men who obviously share the same sexist and manipulative incel views as the "husband". She is busy af with actual children and doesn't need to add a man-child making her life harder.

desireebberg avatar
Venice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why I taught my teenaged boy how to iron his clothes do the dishes his laundry and cook. Told him one day your wife will be either sick, taking care of the kids or having to bring work home. If you both work, share all the chores equally and if she syays at home with the kids, chip in when you get home. Just let me know and I'll send my 15 year old son to show him how to be a husband. Time to sit him down and make him iron his own uniform here on. You no longer add it to your busy plate. NTA. Take a stand, don't fold anymore.

jppurves avatar
JP Purves
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good grief, when I was married I ironed all my work shirts, pants etc. My wife worked as well, so we divided the home chores, and that was forty years ago. This man baby needs to grow a pair and man up, his wife is not his slave/servant!

sonyaatencio avatar
SoñaSatiVa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oooh great he's taking the day off. Now he can do your job for a day while you catch up on some ironing. Make a checklist of the daily tasks to be completed, let's see how far her gets in that, what the family eats that day, how the homework grades turn out etcetera, guaranteed he won't consider missing work a lesson for you anymore. Pffff, I swear sometimes men need things literally spelled out for them before they understand or consider others. Make sure he's worth the effort

juniorcj82 avatar
JuniorCJ82
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce him so maybe he'll finally be forced to take care of his own f*****g clothes.

melissa_hollowell avatar
Melissa Hollowell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe he should just send his uniforms out to be cleaned/ironed and write it off on his taxes as a business expense. I don't see this OP taking any drastic life changing measures.

morachilis avatar
Mora Chilis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How long has he been a pilot and how long have you been in a relationship? Doesn't he have several uniforms? I do not side with him actually like a brat, but wonder why this just isn't part of a routine of sahm?

cmkar avatar
CM Kar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cause he's a grown man and can do it himself? She's got three children to take care of, and he's not one of them.

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michaelswanson avatar
UpQuarkDownQuark
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they had a previous equitable (← important word alert) agreement that she has his shirts ironed and ready for work, then he can be upset. They did not have this agreement, and yet he went beyond upset and straight to petulant man baby. F that guy.

jessicakbutts avatar
Jessica butts
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if they did, sometimes the work load outweighs what the SAHP can do, and in that case, the working parent HAS to pitch in.

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katmin avatar
Kat Min
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do so many women still manouver themselves into these positions? 40-50% of marriages end in divorce. we cannot afford to lose our financial independence.

bobvanwijk avatar
bob van wijk
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I thought that ended in the 70s, the housewife with the working man. Since the 80s you work part time, dad works less too and also does the household and takes care of his kids, even before that. My mom was a housewife until I was 4 in 1974 and then she took a part time job and my dad watched us when she worked and he was home from work. He could only throw a pizza in the oven, but he did change diapers, he potty trained my sister, while he worked full time and my mom stayed home. He always ironed his own suits.

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swinnubst avatar
Lee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Husband sounds like a man-child. If he had enough time to fight with you on it he could have already had it ironed himself.

pitted_date avatar
Mary White
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Drop it at a cleaners or full service laundromat. I assume he has more than one uniform?

rosembullock avatar
roses are red
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's a jerk... he can't iron his own work shirt an hour before his shift, how does he keep his job. Needs to go back to mum, or grow up and be responsible for his life

othornhill6792 avatar
Mrs.Pugh
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are two solutions to this problem. 1. He can be a man and iron his own clothes. 2. Either of them can iron his clothes the night before and put them on a hanger so it doesn't get wrinkled. He should let his ego and pride chill down a bit.

travellingtrainer avatar
Hey!
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find this outrageous for the fact that a spouse wants to teach the other a "lesson". On the other hand, here our pilots (policeman, firefighters, etc., basically anyone in uniform) get stipends to send their uniforms at the cleaners, shirts included.

nikiliu avatar
Niki Liu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An eye for an eye. I would have just left home and let him tend to his kids, homeworks and housechores. Then he would realised how much he take his wife for granted.

joicain_1 avatar
Joi Cain
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This reminds me of when I used to frequent this store that would always try to keep the pennies and nickels from customer purchases. If you asked for your change he'd bark. "It's only a penny/nickel!" And I'd say, "Exactly". People don't think that what's valuable to them is just as valuable to you, but selfish people want you to give up your valuables.

julija-mich avatar
B-b-bird
Community Member
6 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being a pilot, part of duties is decisions making. Decisions that affect wellbeing of passengers and a crew. Not a lot of people know but during pilot hiring, not only flying skills and knowledge are evaluated, but as well decision making ability, logic and PERSONALITY. If I’d to divorce this guy, I’d make a favour to his company and report why he did not show up for his duty. I’m sure base captain of the company would be grateful to know, because it’s more Important than anyone could think. Appearing to duty with tad wrinkled shirt wouldn’t harm him or anyone, making wrong decisions - might.

dodsonmichelle avatar
Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, my ex husband used to "teach me a lesson" by not taking his bi-polar meds. Oh, you're going to shoot yourself? I said, "Let me put down a shower curtain first so you don't f*ck up the new carpet" and then closed the door. Mama don't play that sh*t.

elizabethdeighton101 avatar
Elizabeth Deighton
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So reminded me of my ex who, when I asked him what he was going to do said have a bath. Fine I said. Whilst you are doing that I'll bathe and feed the 3 month old, put him down and cook us a nice breakfast. Whilst I was getting dressed, he still in bed asked if I was going to run his bath. Told him he was more then capable of doing that for himself and that I was busy. He called me everything from a cow to a pig and back again. He got up, dressed. Flounced out of the flat, drove 4 miles to his mum who ran it forh im whilst he sat there waiting. She had to put on the boiler as well so he had to wait until that heated up. Hence he is my ex. Do the same and hit him for every thing you can

rosembullock_1 avatar
ROSESARERED
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Something wrong with his arms his hand. His job, his shirt, his responsibility...or darling he can't do it, so sad, . Maybe this baby should not have got married. Idiot. IRON YOUR OWN CLOTHES

frozenwaters890 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He should have a weeks worth of cloths already ironed before his work week starts. Then he wouldn't have to worry about anyone doing it last minute. Whether the wife or the husband does it could be something they each decide together.

jay_weigel avatar
Jay Weigel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apparently this pilot was never in the military, because they teach you to do your own ironing. My son ironed better than either of his wives did.

libby6 avatar
Stargazer66
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a complete AH. I'd have told him to iron it himself. It's his uniform, his responsibility. If he doesn't want to iron it, then he can take his uniforms to the dry cleaners every week. I refuse to iron anything, except when I'm sewing or the occasional touch up. He'd be pulling out the ironing board and iron if he were married to me.

grandma_mn avatar
Kristina Smith-bixby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Learn to iron your own clothes it's no one else's job to make sure your uniform is ready to go. Maybe you need to take care of the kids house food and see what your wife deals with daily.

martysunderland avatar
Marty Sunderland
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did his uniform come from the 1950's. Most don't need ironing. And he could take it to a laundry.

marybailey_1 avatar
Mary Bailey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His shirt would get wrinkled anyway from setting all day so why yell at his wife for it being that way

leahhighgate avatar
Leah Highgate
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

With his income as a pilot, he can afford to send his shirts to the laundry to be cleaned and pressed to perfection. Some laundry services even pick up from your house and then deliver it back to your front door. He's an immature p.o.s.

afishet8405 avatar
Mandie Wilson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why they should teach Basic Adult living in high school along with home economics.

mlgeiger avatar
AK to LV
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My Dad was the main breadwinner all while growing up. My Mother was a SAHM and found a full time job after I was in high school. She did the laundry and ironing. When she got a full time job, she had less time for daily chores. So my Dad started taking his shirts to get pressed and the laundromat. Problem solved.

marikofujita avatar
Mariko Fujita
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband irons his own shirts, he's a big boy and knows how to move his hand back and forth while holding an iron. I have concerns for the passengers flying with your husband if he can't master this simple task on his own in a pinch.

mrob avatar
Gardener of Weeden
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dear OP... you should take a day/ weekend off... aka leave him with the kids ( no backup), and the chores, to teach him a lesson about what you do.

carolbland avatar
carol bland
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Petty, spiteful, manipulative but right. He works to enable you to stay home. He comes first. You SHOULD have done as asked. Or outright told him "no can do." I don't like the way he did it- but you were wrong to prioritise everything else instead of him.

anniesteele avatar
Annie Steele
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My question is, why did you not shout up 45 mins before he was due to go and tell him that he had to do it himself ? Irons work for both sexes, they don't discriminate.

gossmanwayne avatar
Wayne Gossman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Great example of “It’s not what you do, but how you do it!” Premise…I cannot iron my own clothing.(Iron phobia???) Solution. “Honey, I am in a bind, can you iron my uniform? What can I do for you so you have the time?”

danieldiaz_1 avatar
Daniel Diaz
Community Member
1 year ago

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roseannaybarra avatar
roseanna ybarra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1. I would have said sure stopped what I was doing and delegated it to him to start doing while I ironed his uniform or a strainght no I can't but let him know where the ironing board and iron are. It is not your responsibility unless he was busy and helping you I coukd see why he would ask you, However I work full time and so does my husband so I can't say I would prioritize his uniforms per say but If I got to stay home I would say that he wouldn't have to ask me it would have been done days or day prior to his shift because.

marilynrussell avatar
Marilyn Russell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This man needs a handheld portable steamer to freshen up his uniform and get rid of any pesky wrinkles. He just wanted to exert his “power” over his wife and remind her she is subservient. My husband does that often. I lost my job due to Covid, then looked after his dying father for almost 2 years before he passed a couple months ago, and I can’t wait to get back into the work force. My husband doesn’t know how to take care of himself and he’s going to get a rude awakening. He’s treated me like his servant and is a messy slob. He’s fog in to have to learn how a washing machine works on his own one day soon. He’s doesn’t even know what size underwear he needs. He went without shampoo for over a week because he is too “dumb” to look in the cupboard for a new bottle. In the future, he will have to do all his own shopping. Even when I was working more than him, I did everything around the house, including taking care of the finances, even being the one to start and stoke the wood furnace.

janice_parks_100 avatar
Janice Parks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My theory is that it was really his day off. He knew she was busy with real priorities and he 1. Didn’t want to be assigned any household or child duties. 2. He felt like power-tripping in front of his kids and put them all into a tizzied state of fear for their financial security. 3. His gf had dumped him and he couldn’t keep pretending like he had flights as she threatened to tell on him when he was normally home/not home (depending). If he starts in on saying he thinks YOU have been stepping out on him you’ll know he’s having an affair. Protect your assets.

catwoman408 avatar
Tina Hugh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was going to say he should get a medical checkup, but she implies this isn’t entirely out of character….I’d suggest telling him that since her shortcomings (in his mind) are affecting the family’s livelihood, therapy is urgently needed.

masondalmau avatar
Mason Dalmau
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If there was previously set expectations that certains tasks are the responsibility of certain individuals in the household, then it's not cool to just bail without discussing it. That being said, everything about how that guy went about what he did was f****d up. Seems like he was almost looking for an excuse to not go to work and used an opportunity to gaslight his wife to make it her fault. Both individuals failed to communicate effectively. I make my wife breakfast each morning. If I one day just decide that I want to start my day by doing other things instead after expectations have been set otherwise, that's my fault, not hers. But if she reacted the way that guy did, definitely not acceptable. Very minor YTA to the wife for failure to communicate about changes in expectations of responsibility, major YTA to the husband for everything else.

dc1 avatar
DC
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ESH. You should have tasks assigned already, and whatever you both agreed on, is what everybody - him and you - should expect from one another. Also, how hard is it to grow up?

jaimescarpetta avatar
Jaime Scarpetta
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Except she doesn't suck here. He's the only one that does and if you think she does get your head examined please?

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riley5408r avatar
Just a panda with misophonia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Okay the only thing I would say is the OP could have told him, "hey look I'm busy with other chores and won't be able to open your uniform. Do you think you could do it today?" In his defense he didn't know she wasn't going to iron it. BUT I think he should be the one doing the ironing because he seems like the type of person who would flipp out if it wasn't to his standards.

makajhabanjjjak avatar
Makajha Banjjjak
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do women marry insane ppl, have(multiple) kids with them and quite jobs to be completely dependant on those insane ppl is beyond me.

camillakoutsos avatar
Camilla Koutsos
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's clearly a bit poisonous, but I fail to see why she couldn't oblige him. Ironing an outfit takes a few minutes. They sound like they are both a bit spoiled to me, and he's a baby.

tamrastiffler avatar
Tamra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Probably because she's busy cooking, cleaning, shopping, paying bills, and entertaining/caring for/transporting three kids all day, every day. Yeah, even on weekends and holidays. She's not spoiled, she's probably exhausted both physically and mentally. His excuse? He's a sexist douchebag who's mistaken his wife for a servant.

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boredpanda_99 avatar
SirWriteALot
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm torn. On the one hand, ironing the uniform is OPs chore, and she actively refused to do it when hubby asked her to. I mean, when something needs to be done asap you shift priorities. And a pressed uniform is pretty much a must-have for a pilot. So for her to ignore the request when she knew that it was important was a pretty AH move. On the other hand, hubby reacted badly and showed his petty, childish streak. I think there's more to the whole situation because normal people don't behave that way.

jaimescarpetta avatar
Jaime Scarpetta
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When she has other stuff to do its low on her list because she expects him to be an adult. He clearly doesn't act like one so he's the only one in the wrong here

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richardboler avatar
Richard Boler
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So being in charge of the house you failed to prepare a shirt that you've done for your sahm years. You also set him up to fail as you knew he hadn't heard and made no effort to talk to him in the hour, or made a compromise to allow him to do it. His response was over the top for sure, though I can understand his frustration. I think you both have stressful lives, and need time to appreciate each other.

jaimescarpetta avatar
Jaime Scarpetta
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Its on him to make sure HIS s**t is in order dude. She's likely doing 20 other things for the house, child rearing for 3 no less, on top of pretty much everything else. The way it sounds dude does nothing around the house which I'd honestly believe. They need to appreciate each other? More like he needs to appreciate her considering she's likely doing everything but making the money. Its not HER job to make sure he's presentable. Thats on him.

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claire_18 avatar
Claire
Community Member
1 year ago

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well ironing just one uniform shouldnt take hours, you probably could spare some, if you cant then just make it clear, the husband also exaggerate too much instead communicating well, so both are kinda at fault

guineveremariesmith avatar
Gwyn
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

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As a SAHM myself, the story seemed odd . I don't understand why she couldn't put off the other chores to do his shirt. If they agreed to a chore split where she is supposed to do the ironing, it seems like she could prioritize it if he had to go to work soon. It makes me think there's more going on there than she's letting on. What time is day was it? Was she super behind on chores and no one had any clean clothes to go to school and they hadn't done homework the night before? Or was she being passive aggressive to him with not giving a straight answer? Was he busy? Could be have have ironed his own shirt/does he even know how? Why does she consider his work shirts lower priority than the other laundry? Need more info. However, his reaction was definitely out of line.

jaimescarpetta avatar
Jaime Scarpetta
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Considering the chore split is she doing all the chores? Not much of a split. You ask why ironing his shirts is a low priority? Because he's kind of an adult and should be able to fix it himself?

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slowmutie avatar
Brindle Nutter
Community Member
1 year ago

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If I got to stay home, I'd iron whatever you want all day long. Donna Reed at your service

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Humberto Zapico
Community Member
1 year ago

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Aviation is a high stress industry, Pilot's don't need more stress at home. Imagine having the responsibility of hundreds of human lives but your wife can't iron a uniform. Smh. Find a woman who values you king. Stop missing work.

mistydawnviktoriamoon avatar
Misty Moon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So taking care of a household isn't stressful? Not only that but not all polites are married or this entitled. Your delusional if you think otherwise.

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gepowers avatar
Gerald powers
Community Member
1 year ago

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Sounds like an unfair one sided character assassination piece. Until you know all the facts and history of the couple, this kind of criticism is unfair and unwarranted. If the woman can't manage her responsibilities to get things done when needed she is/has a problem (maybe an AH). If the man tried other ways to get what he needed then may be this was the best response (or maybe he was an AH). We don't know his side of the story, or they're history so this sounds more like propaganda than journalism. Maybe she slept till noon and drank wine till late afternoon all week and now has has to play catchup on other chores and could not fit in ironing for the 5th time this week (not likely but we don't know). PS I have done ALL the household chores for years because my wife is sick AND I am really good at ironing.

denilla avatar
De Nilla
Community Member
1 year ago

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I'll give the unpopular opinion here. In their household, each party has obligations. It's the husband's obligation to pay all their bills/expenses, which as a pilot he is obviously taking good care of his family. The wife has a predetermined list of household chores and ironing his uniform is on that list. I'd say it's apparent to anyone that a pilot needs to look professional as it could mean their reputation/job. His job should be a priority as the landlord isn't going to care that you spent all day doing homework, he wants money. When she shrugged off her responsibility as if it's his job/his problem, he missed a day of work to show that it's important that they BOTH do their part. Which makes sense. She never said anything about him telling her that her bills/needs are her own problem and go pay for her own things. Because paying for those things is his responsibility based on the way they run their home. The main income source should always be a priority to both of them.

leilaabdelmeguid avatar
Leila Abdelmeguid
Community Member
1 year ago

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I'm probably the only person who thinks this woman is in the wrong, but one of the purposes of being a housewife is so that the husband can have a comfortable life and be able to work successfully and provide, while the woman is able to enjoy raising her children without the added stress of also working outside the home, and the children benefit from having a mother who is attentive and able to put the family first. This is the model for a successful family and has been the primary social structure for all of humanity up until several decades ago, and since then, the family structure has completely collapsed leading to a breakdown of society. Anyway, yes a housewife should cooperate with her husband and make his job a priority because it is in her and her children's best interest to do so. It seems as if he over reacted to prove a point, but this likely was not an isolated incident for him to behave this way.

tamrastiffler avatar
Tamra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I disagree. A SAHM's purpose is NOT to make sure her husband has "a comfortable life". The primary purpose is to raise decent, responsible, healthy human beings. And in any spare moment of time available, there's bill-paying, grocery shopping, meal planning and prep, laundry for multiple people, cleaning the house (I even did all the small repairs that were needed), arranging doctor appointments, help with school work, all social planning...I mean the list goes on and on. It's not a 9-5 job, it's constant. As such, she's entitled to a quiet moment, ffs. He's providing financially, and she's providing literally everything else.

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itzwaffles avatar
Itz Waffles
Community Member
1 year ago

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You're kind of the AH. Come on dude, you could've taken 5 minutes to iron a uniform! However your husband is AH for being overdramatic.

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Tumo Nakadashi
Community Member
1 year ago

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You agreed to the life and now you're complaining. Status quo.

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Humberto Zapico
Community Member
1 year ago

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Maybe instead of losing your Job just get another girl?

tamrastiffler avatar
Tamra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would he lose his job? Oh, that's right... because he CHOSE to not go to work because he's too lazy to do his own ironing.

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jp_21 avatar
J P
Community Member
1 year ago

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Guys she stays at home to support the family. She should know her duties the same way if she was an employee of any company, and had assigned tasks. Her job is taking care of the family l. He didn't handle it the best but he has now made it clear how important it is. No different than a secretary bringing the boss coffee, sure he could do it but it's not his job. Jeez

tamrastiffler avatar
Tamra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Except it IS different than a secretary bringing the boss coffee. He is not "the boss"! He should be acting as a partner, not as someone who thinks all of his needs will be met by another person, because they BOTH work. She just doesn't get paid. Raising three kids is non-stop work - there are no days off, no vacations, and no sick time! I'm sick of men thinking that women exist to serve them! We don't. He's a lazy man-child who has no respect for her, or for what she does. He deserves to be alone. Then who's gonna take care of the ironing?

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spacetopus-uk avatar
lchaney36 avatar
Exotic Butters
Community Member
1 year ago

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I think YTA. At the least you could have told him that he'd need to iron it before he was ready to walk out the door. " I might not get to it" doesn't really say yes or no. And yes, if I were getting on a plane I would have less confidence in a sloppy, wrinkled pilot.

othornhill6792 avatar
Mrs.Pugh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I might not get to it" means "be prepared to have to iron your own clothes because I'm busy right now."

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anbui523 avatar
An Bui
Community Member
1 year ago

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they should get a divorce and both figure it out individually. they're both the AH. He for being a man-child and her for playing games as well by ignoring his request. If she wasn't gonna do it when he asked, she should just say so and let him deal with it.

alixpitcher avatar
Powerful Katrinka
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She did. She warned him that she doubted whether she would get a chance to do it.

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tamrastiffler avatar
Tamra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy is a spoiled, misogynistic piece of s**t. This woman is your wife and mother of your children. She's sacrificing future earning power to raise your children, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with no pay, no holidays and no sick time. Iron your own goddamn shirts.

girts_fridbergs avatar
Girts Frīdbergs
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It makes my blood boil every time I read something like this. Never understood these "grown" men who can't do simple tasks, especially if it's as important as this.

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shannonandrew avatar
YourSecretSanta
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Married man here, I iron my own clothes out of preference. In the event I ask my wife to iron for me and she can't, I am perfectly able to iron it myself without acting like a spoilt child. This man is an AH of note

fatharry3 avatar
Fat Harry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My SO asks me to do her ironing because I'm better at it :D Not that either of us irons an awful lot, but if we're going out I'll be the one ironing shirts. It takes her longer to get ready anyway, so I might as well if only to speed things along!

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emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Speaking as the aunt of a pilot and a former army wife. Showing up in a clean, but wrinkled uniform can get you written up. But, his arms weren't broken and, as I can also guarantee, had the wife called the supervisor or commanding officer, the husband would have been the one in trouble because the bosses consider it the pilots responsibility to look after their own gear. If he is a commercial airline pilot, he would be in additional hot water because the airlines are already getting heat for the number of cancelled or delayed flights...I don't think they'd take too kindly to a pilot calling out because of a wrinkled uniform he was to stubborn to iron himself.

tarsa13 avatar
CL Rowan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He can take his damn uniform to the drycleaners to be pressed. Costs all of $10. While he's doing that, she can call a divorce lawyer.

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libstak avatar
Libstak
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It would take a maximum of 5 mins to iron the shirt. He skipped an entire shift as a pilot because of a 5 minute job. Let's think about all the ways this is absolutely pathetic. As others have said I pray he is never a pilot on any plane I fly.

bobvanwijk avatar
bob van wijk
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He asked her to iron his uniform. That's a lot of work. I haven't ironed in ages. My dad had to wear suits for work. He ironed em himself. He learned that in the military. It had to be perfect. My mom didn't do it good enough according to him lol.

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michaeltimme avatar
Michael Timme
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While I was still living at home my mother gave me a gift of an iron, ironing board and lessons on how to use them. My parents raised me to take care of myself and I'm still thankful for that.

fatharry3 avatar
Fat Harry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can the man not iron his own shirt? I'd be embarrassed to be a 21st century man who couldn't take care of his own household chores.

spacetopus-uk avatar
anonymous_25 avatar
Anonymous
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

(Now the roses have wilted, And violets are all dead, Sugar is full of flies, Just like the misogynist's head. ) But fr, Op should rethink this relationship. Idk if I'm being paranoid or something but I think this is how abuse starts.

shicasey83 avatar
Shiloh Casey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like the abuse has been going on for a while. Just may not be physical...yet. However, somebody did ask OP if he has ever been violent and she answered some of the questions but not that one.

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vernon_bear avatar
Gavin Johnson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ve worked in jobs that have demanded tip top presentation, concierge at top end hotel and the likes, I was lucky to have a partner who was a sahm and she ran the home in an organised and almost military fashion. My suits were dry cleaned / pressed through work but shirts were mine to sort, now she organised washing but ironing was split between us, honestly I found it quite cathartic, but if I didn’t have a shirt prepped for work the responsibility for that fell to me, I’m a grown man, I can wash and iron a shirt FFS, if I can’t look into my wardrobe 24 hours ahead of time and check my shirts and get them sorted as required then I shouldn’t be looking after VIPs & running the team at my hotel. It’s MY job, it’s MY responsibility to be appropriately attired, it’s on ME to be organised.

erikgranqvist avatar
Erik Ivan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am married since 28 years. And it is super rare that my handicapped wife does the ironing. The dude should learn how to take care of a household - because he is part of it, and it is everyones shared responsibility to help where it's possible.

blue1steven avatar
Donkey boi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone else think it's funny how close the acronym SAHM is to the word Sham? I get it, sometimes it works for people, but you've got to remember that like any job, the workload can fluctuate, and extra projects can cause certain tasks to go undone and so, like any job, the worker has to decide how to prioritise. Your shirt can wait! That cake you want for work, might need to be bought from a bakery! You might need to buy your lunch tomorrow! It's a job without wages or time off, but it's still a job!

kathrynbaylis_2 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And f**k it, your work shirts can be sent to the dry cleaners to be washed and pressed. That would at least relieve your wife of the burden of washing and ironing YOUR damn shirts, on top of every damn thing else a stay at home mom of three does!

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dkreupeling avatar
Puck
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Try explaining it like this: when you ask me to iron your uniform when i'm already busy it's the same as asking you to handle safety-instructions to the passengers while you are starting take-off. It might not be possible, because you are busy doing something else that is also essential. Image this scenario when there are stewards on board to handle those safety-instructions and they still ask you to do it.....

stephalfbrotherinlaw avatar
Oscar Turing
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd be interested to know what super important task kept him from ironing his own shirt. Also the whole "my income so important" narrative is greatly undermined by impulsively blowing off work. Also also, how is blowing off the entire day an even trade off? Does she get to do nothing for the rest of the day now?

nisegenmuko avatar
Nisegen Muko
Community Member
1 year ago

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You must be rich tuen despite the growing cost of basic goods due to inflation.

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laurabamber avatar
The Starsong Princess
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He just told you out loud that your primary role is to serve him and he will punish you if you don’t serve to his satisfaction. Take a look at your life and make decisions based on this knowledge. You need an exit plan.

caseymcalister avatar
Casey McAlister
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, the husband is a massive jerk. He was so worried that a wrinkled uniform makes him look unprofessional that he decided to just miss his work Because skipping your shift on a whim is definitely what a professional would do.

o2tiger avatar
The Last Silent Tiger
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On the positive side, he can now stay home and watch his 3 children while the wife takes a much needed break.

shawnmckinney avatar
shawn mckinney
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Two words: dry cleaner. I dislike ironing. Let them do it

c_devine avatar
Seedy Vine
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, OP. It's sad you even have to ask. Did your husband give birth to three children? Does he help raise them? Does he cook and clean? Do you get an allowance or have any savings? Do you ever get any free time? If not, this situation sounds a lot like financial and spousal abuse. Grown men who throw their weight around their own home while being too frightened to pick up a GD iron should go marry their mommies.

sophieadele1 avatar
Sillypants
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. OP, please start stashing money away and plan for your escape. Manipulation is slow but steady.

jameskramer avatar
James016
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He can do his own ironing. The rest of his attitude is terrible

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Humberto Zapico
Community Member
1 year ago

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True he can. He shouldn't miss work either. He can probably get a new wife easier than another Pilot Job.

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Misty Moon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wth was he doing for an hour that was so important that he couldn't either A. iron his own damn uniform or B. take over helping the kids and doing the laundry so she could iron it for him? Smh. Marriage is supposed to be a team effort-a partnership, not a dictatorship!

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bob van wijk
Community Member
1 year ago

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Dorey Bell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless he has a major physical challenge, he should have ironed his uniform. Another option is to put the clothes in the dryer. Because he didn't work that day, he should have assisted with the household duties.

fuyuukifukada avatar
Fuyuuki Fukada
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That also means this dude should not even get near to the cockpit. You just created a paradox.

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cdenese56 avatar
C D Whitney
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA Your husband needs to be responsible for meeting the responsibilities of his job. If he doesn't want to send his uniforms out then he should learn to iron. Your priority is taking care of the children. If he occasionally asks and you have time to iron a uniform that's great but he needs to be prepared to handle his responsibilities instead of acting like one of the children.

carnitaeilertson avatar
Carnita Eilertson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would be working on an exit strategy. Start putting aside some money, look at job opportunities friends or family you could go to. Throwing tantrums and teaching lessons are only going to escalate. Please take action now, is this how you want your children to see their mom being treated? Think that it's ok? How does he treat them? Get your ducks in a row and leave while he is in the sky.

saraanderson avatar
Sara Anderson
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's called put it in the dryer with a damp towel for like 20 mins. Poof, wrinkles gone. Help yourself out instead of demeaning another person. That dude needs to have a reality check.

aradiav avatar
Aradia Sayner
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with one of the respondents. I would have called his boss and told them exactly why he wasn't at work.

robinbautista avatar
Robin Bautista
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow all the people agreeing with the husband on here are assholes, I was a stay-at-home mom until my youngest started kindergarten and I took all the verbal abuse from my husband I did everything took care of the kids the house the clothes him everything else but once I did go to work and started bringing my own money home at first he thought I would give him my paycheck well that did not happen but after several years I finally started standing up for myself once I started standing up for myself things went downhill and he ran and found him another woman who would pet him like a baby so after 34 years of marriage three grown children, seven grandchildren and me out of work due to disabilities he walked out and left us all I was smart enough to get the house and the cars but now he has his little girlfriend rubbing his back and telling him what a big man he is and I have the freedom to actually be happy. You op need to run from this man you need to stand up for yourself and see if he loves you or if it's time for you to pack your bags and go

cmkar avatar
CM Kar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, these men don't want wives. They want sex goddesses, mommies, maids and housekeepers. Sorry you went through all that. Glad you stood up for yourself.

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mim8209 avatar
MimSorensson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why in the name of everything decent and good couldn’t he iron his own goddamned work attire? Since he’s a pilot, I assume he does have two functional hands. Is he allergic to ironing boards, what’s the problem here?

monicamichelle avatar
Monica Michelle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

#1 hush to divorce lawyer do not let on 2. Open a small credit card 3. Put money in a secret account 4. If things have not improved rent a small apartment or room 5. If things are still bad start proceedings and move to new place until your are safe

anb1388 avatar
Allison B
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Husband is an AH! Can you say misogyny?! I mean seriously! Also I'm a 34 year old woman and just realized today my brother got me a iron like 2 years ago. I never iron sooo. 😂

nisegenmuko avatar
Nisegen Muko
Community Member
1 year ago

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Please tell me you earn more than a pilot, if not. That would be a shame.

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mmelt76 avatar
Melissa TO
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He couldn't throw the uniform in the dryer to get most of the wrinkles out before he went to work?

bobvanwijk avatar
bob van wijk
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahaha or put it under a mattrass. I hate ironing. Once got a wrinkle jacket from someone. Wore it once. What a horrible thing. Wrinkle free fabric and just throw it in the dryer.

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savannahyoung avatar
S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Damn, sorry about your shitty f*****g husband. Hope that works out although I don't see him changing for the better...

maria_focsa avatar
Mariaf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I keep running on Facebook on a little jingle "Your wife is your partner, not your mom / maid". This guy should learn it

arandomanvil avatar
A Random Anvil
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, he chose to miss work, so it seems like he's the one responsible for financially impacting the household.

kjl01 avatar
Karen Lyon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have never and never will understand this BS. My late parents were born in the mid 1930's, got married in 1958 and had five kids by their sixth wedding anniversary. In a lot of ways, they were very much people of their generation, and in a lot of ways they weren't. For example: My Mom worked as a nurse for 42 years. When we were growing up there were practical reasons for that, but later in their lives she kept working because she loved it. My Dad totally supported her career. He wasn't much into housework, but he did change diapers, did child care/homework support/bedtime rituals when she was napping so she work her 11 pm - 7am shift. And, as I mentioned below, ironed his clothes for work because he knew she hated ironing and saw no reason to make that into an issue. If my parents. who were raised in a more "traditional" time could let go of the idea rigid "roles" in a marriage, two people who are raising their family in the 21st century should be able to manage that as well.

bibblescat avatar
Jane Dorothy Warner
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like my ex, who dragged me out of bed at 6am to iron a work shirt. So one day I got him up cos the car wouldn't go. I had an early morning cleaning shift to go to. He didn't like it.

catherineheiby avatar
Catherine Heiby
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why can't he gather, launder, fold & iron his own clothes? His wife is not his maid nor his slave! My husband has done his own laundry all of our marriage and he & I taught both of our children to do their own as well...we actually like doing our own laundry, in fact we prefer it! I've been teaching 4 out of 5 of my grandchildren to do the same!

koolmudkips avatar
kool mudkips
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel this way about it, If I am embarrassed to tell anyone about my actions, I am probably in the wrong. So, if he won't tell his employer or family and friends why he stayed home... he is in the wrong. It really helps me to know if what I am thinking of doing or saying in an argument is right or wrong. If I feel even slightly embarrassed at the thought of other people knowing I did/said something, I don't do it. I use to react when I was far too emotional when I was a young woman. Now I just imagine telling people. I don't really tell people much of my business ever. But the thought of it helps guide my actions and words. I want to be a person I am proud to be. I'm certain he'd be embarrassed for others to know what he did. (I hope so anyway)

stanflouride avatar
Stannous Flouride
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As is often the case, the responses are more entertaining than the OP's story.

viherjuuri avatar
Pansexual Phoenix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Holy cow! How can he fly a plane since he obvs doesn' t have arms?!? 😳

findgretta avatar
I'mNotARoboat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Half of these comments are made by men who obviously share the same sexist and manipulative incel views as the "husband". She is busy af with actual children and doesn't need to add a man-child making her life harder.

desireebberg avatar
Venice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why I taught my teenaged boy how to iron his clothes do the dishes his laundry and cook. Told him one day your wife will be either sick, taking care of the kids or having to bring work home. If you both work, share all the chores equally and if she syays at home with the kids, chip in when you get home. Just let me know and I'll send my 15 year old son to show him how to be a husband. Time to sit him down and make him iron his own uniform here on. You no longer add it to your busy plate. NTA. Take a stand, don't fold anymore.

jppurves avatar
JP Purves
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good grief, when I was married I ironed all my work shirts, pants etc. My wife worked as well, so we divided the home chores, and that was forty years ago. This man baby needs to grow a pair and man up, his wife is not his slave/servant!

sonyaatencio avatar
SoñaSatiVa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oooh great he's taking the day off. Now he can do your job for a day while you catch up on some ironing. Make a checklist of the daily tasks to be completed, let's see how far her gets in that, what the family eats that day, how the homework grades turn out etcetera, guaranteed he won't consider missing work a lesson for you anymore. Pffff, I swear sometimes men need things literally spelled out for them before they understand or consider others. Make sure he's worth the effort

juniorcj82 avatar
JuniorCJ82
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce him so maybe he'll finally be forced to take care of his own f*****g clothes.

melissa_hollowell avatar
Melissa Hollowell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe he should just send his uniforms out to be cleaned/ironed and write it off on his taxes as a business expense. I don't see this OP taking any drastic life changing measures.

morachilis avatar
Mora Chilis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How long has he been a pilot and how long have you been in a relationship? Doesn't he have several uniforms? I do not side with him actually like a brat, but wonder why this just isn't part of a routine of sahm?

cmkar avatar
CM Kar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cause he's a grown man and can do it himself? She's got three children to take care of, and he's not one of them.

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michaelswanson avatar
UpQuarkDownQuark
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they had a previous equitable (← important word alert) agreement that she has his shirts ironed and ready for work, then he can be upset. They did not have this agreement, and yet he went beyond upset and straight to petulant man baby. F that guy.

jessicakbutts avatar
Jessica butts
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if they did, sometimes the work load outweighs what the SAHP can do, and in that case, the working parent HAS to pitch in.

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katmin avatar
Kat Min
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do so many women still manouver themselves into these positions? 40-50% of marriages end in divorce. we cannot afford to lose our financial independence.

bobvanwijk avatar
bob van wijk
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I thought that ended in the 70s, the housewife with the working man. Since the 80s you work part time, dad works less too and also does the household and takes care of his kids, even before that. My mom was a housewife until I was 4 in 1974 and then she took a part time job and my dad watched us when she worked and he was home from work. He could only throw a pizza in the oven, but he did change diapers, he potty trained my sister, while he worked full time and my mom stayed home. He always ironed his own suits.

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swinnubst avatar
Lee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Husband sounds like a man-child. If he had enough time to fight with you on it he could have already had it ironed himself.

pitted_date avatar
Mary White
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Drop it at a cleaners or full service laundromat. I assume he has more than one uniform?

rosembullock avatar
roses are red
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's a jerk... he can't iron his own work shirt an hour before his shift, how does he keep his job. Needs to go back to mum, or grow up and be responsible for his life

othornhill6792 avatar
Mrs.Pugh
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are two solutions to this problem. 1. He can be a man and iron his own clothes. 2. Either of them can iron his clothes the night before and put them on a hanger so it doesn't get wrinkled. He should let his ego and pride chill down a bit.

travellingtrainer avatar
Hey!
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find this outrageous for the fact that a spouse wants to teach the other a "lesson". On the other hand, here our pilots (policeman, firefighters, etc., basically anyone in uniform) get stipends to send their uniforms at the cleaners, shirts included.

nikiliu avatar
Niki Liu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An eye for an eye. I would have just left home and let him tend to his kids, homeworks and housechores. Then he would realised how much he take his wife for granted.

joicain_1 avatar
Joi Cain
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This reminds me of when I used to frequent this store that would always try to keep the pennies and nickels from customer purchases. If you asked for your change he'd bark. "It's only a penny/nickel!" And I'd say, "Exactly". People don't think that what's valuable to them is just as valuable to you, but selfish people want you to give up your valuables.

julija-mich avatar
B-b-bird
Community Member
6 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being a pilot, part of duties is decisions making. Decisions that affect wellbeing of passengers and a crew. Not a lot of people know but during pilot hiring, not only flying skills and knowledge are evaluated, but as well decision making ability, logic and PERSONALITY. If I’d to divorce this guy, I’d make a favour to his company and report why he did not show up for his duty. I’m sure base captain of the company would be grateful to know, because it’s more Important than anyone could think. Appearing to duty with tad wrinkled shirt wouldn’t harm him or anyone, making wrong decisions - might.

dodsonmichelle avatar
Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, my ex husband used to "teach me a lesson" by not taking his bi-polar meds. Oh, you're going to shoot yourself? I said, "Let me put down a shower curtain first so you don't f*ck up the new carpet" and then closed the door. Mama don't play that sh*t.

elizabethdeighton101 avatar
Elizabeth Deighton
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So reminded me of my ex who, when I asked him what he was going to do said have a bath. Fine I said. Whilst you are doing that I'll bathe and feed the 3 month old, put him down and cook us a nice breakfast. Whilst I was getting dressed, he still in bed asked if I was going to run his bath. Told him he was more then capable of doing that for himself and that I was busy. He called me everything from a cow to a pig and back again. He got up, dressed. Flounced out of the flat, drove 4 miles to his mum who ran it forh im whilst he sat there waiting. She had to put on the boiler as well so he had to wait until that heated up. Hence he is my ex. Do the same and hit him for every thing you can

rosembullock_1 avatar
ROSESARERED
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Something wrong with his arms his hand. His job, his shirt, his responsibility...or darling he can't do it, so sad, . Maybe this baby should not have got married. Idiot. IRON YOUR OWN CLOTHES

frozenwaters890 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He should have a weeks worth of cloths already ironed before his work week starts. Then he wouldn't have to worry about anyone doing it last minute. Whether the wife or the husband does it could be something they each decide together.

jay_weigel avatar
Jay Weigel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apparently this pilot was never in the military, because they teach you to do your own ironing. My son ironed better than either of his wives did.

libby6 avatar
Stargazer66
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a complete AH. I'd have told him to iron it himself. It's his uniform, his responsibility. If he doesn't want to iron it, then he can take his uniforms to the dry cleaners every week. I refuse to iron anything, except when I'm sewing or the occasional touch up. He'd be pulling out the ironing board and iron if he were married to me.

grandma_mn avatar
Kristina Smith-bixby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Learn to iron your own clothes it's no one else's job to make sure your uniform is ready to go. Maybe you need to take care of the kids house food and see what your wife deals with daily.

martysunderland avatar
Marty Sunderland
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did his uniform come from the 1950's. Most don't need ironing. And he could take it to a laundry.

marybailey_1 avatar
Mary Bailey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His shirt would get wrinkled anyway from setting all day so why yell at his wife for it being that way

leahhighgate avatar
Leah Highgate
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

With his income as a pilot, he can afford to send his shirts to the laundry to be cleaned and pressed to perfection. Some laundry services even pick up from your house and then deliver it back to your front door. He's an immature p.o.s.

afishet8405 avatar
Mandie Wilson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why they should teach Basic Adult living in high school along with home economics.

mlgeiger avatar
AK to LV
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My Dad was the main breadwinner all while growing up. My Mother was a SAHM and found a full time job after I was in high school. She did the laundry and ironing. When she got a full time job, she had less time for daily chores. So my Dad started taking his shirts to get pressed and the laundromat. Problem solved.

marikofujita avatar
Mariko Fujita
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband irons his own shirts, he's a big boy and knows how to move his hand back and forth while holding an iron. I have concerns for the passengers flying with your husband if he can't master this simple task on his own in a pinch.

mrob avatar
Gardener of Weeden
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dear OP... you should take a day/ weekend off... aka leave him with the kids ( no backup), and the chores, to teach him a lesson about what you do.

carolbland avatar
carol bland
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Petty, spiteful, manipulative but right. He works to enable you to stay home. He comes first. You SHOULD have done as asked. Or outright told him "no can do." I don't like the way he did it- but you were wrong to prioritise everything else instead of him.

anniesteele avatar
Annie Steele
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My question is, why did you not shout up 45 mins before he was due to go and tell him that he had to do it himself ? Irons work for both sexes, they don't discriminate.

gossmanwayne avatar
Wayne Gossman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Great example of “It’s not what you do, but how you do it!” Premise…I cannot iron my own clothing.(Iron phobia???) Solution. “Honey, I am in a bind, can you iron my uniform? What can I do for you so you have the time?”

danieldiaz_1 avatar
Daniel Diaz
Community Member
1 year ago

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roseannaybarra avatar
roseanna ybarra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1. I would have said sure stopped what I was doing and delegated it to him to start doing while I ironed his uniform or a strainght no I can't but let him know where the ironing board and iron are. It is not your responsibility unless he was busy and helping you I coukd see why he would ask you, However I work full time and so does my husband so I can't say I would prioritize his uniforms per say but If I got to stay home I would say that he wouldn't have to ask me it would have been done days or day prior to his shift because.

marilynrussell avatar
Marilyn Russell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This man needs a handheld portable steamer to freshen up his uniform and get rid of any pesky wrinkles. He just wanted to exert his “power” over his wife and remind her she is subservient. My husband does that often. I lost my job due to Covid, then looked after his dying father for almost 2 years before he passed a couple months ago, and I can’t wait to get back into the work force. My husband doesn’t know how to take care of himself and he’s going to get a rude awakening. He’s treated me like his servant and is a messy slob. He’s fog in to have to learn how a washing machine works on his own one day soon. He’s doesn’t even know what size underwear he needs. He went without shampoo for over a week because he is too “dumb” to look in the cupboard for a new bottle. In the future, he will have to do all his own shopping. Even when I was working more than him, I did everything around the house, including taking care of the finances, even being the one to start and stoke the wood furnace.

janice_parks_100 avatar
Janice Parks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My theory is that it was really his day off. He knew she was busy with real priorities and he 1. Didn’t want to be assigned any household or child duties. 2. He felt like power-tripping in front of his kids and put them all into a tizzied state of fear for their financial security. 3. His gf had dumped him and he couldn’t keep pretending like he had flights as she threatened to tell on him when he was normally home/not home (depending). If he starts in on saying he thinks YOU have been stepping out on him you’ll know he’s having an affair. Protect your assets.

catwoman408 avatar
Tina Hugh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was going to say he should get a medical checkup, but she implies this isn’t entirely out of character….I’d suggest telling him that since her shortcomings (in his mind) are affecting the family’s livelihood, therapy is urgently needed.

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Mason Dalmau
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If there was previously set expectations that certains tasks are the responsibility of certain individuals in the household, then it's not cool to just bail without discussing it. That being said, everything about how that guy went about what he did was f****d up. Seems like he was almost looking for an excuse to not go to work and used an opportunity to gaslight his wife to make it her fault. Both individuals failed to communicate effectively. I make my wife breakfast each morning. If I one day just decide that I want to start my day by doing other things instead after expectations have been set otherwise, that's my fault, not hers. But if she reacted the way that guy did, definitely not acceptable. Very minor YTA to the wife for failure to communicate about changes in expectations of responsibility, major YTA to the husband for everything else.

dc1 avatar
DC
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ESH. You should have tasks assigned already, and whatever you both agreed on, is what everybody - him and you - should expect from one another. Also, how hard is it to grow up?

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Jaime Scarpetta
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Except she doesn't suck here. He's the only one that does and if you think she does get your head examined please?

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Just a panda with misophonia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Okay the only thing I would say is the OP could have told him, "hey look I'm busy with other chores and won't be able to open your uniform. Do you think you could do it today?" In his defense he didn't know she wasn't going to iron it. BUT I think he should be the one doing the ironing because he seems like the type of person who would flipp out if it wasn't to his standards.

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Makajha Banjjjak
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do women marry insane ppl, have(multiple) kids with them and quite jobs to be completely dependant on those insane ppl is beyond me.

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Camilla Koutsos
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's clearly a bit poisonous, but I fail to see why she couldn't oblige him. Ironing an outfit takes a few minutes. They sound like they are both a bit spoiled to me, and he's a baby.

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Tamra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Probably because she's busy cooking, cleaning, shopping, paying bills, and entertaining/caring for/transporting three kids all day, every day. Yeah, even on weekends and holidays. She's not spoiled, she's probably exhausted both physically and mentally. His excuse? He's a sexist douchebag who's mistaken his wife for a servant.

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SirWriteALot
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm torn. On the one hand, ironing the uniform is OPs chore, and she actively refused to do it when hubby asked her to. I mean, when something needs to be done asap you shift priorities. And a pressed uniform is pretty much a must-have for a pilot. So for her to ignore the request when she knew that it was important was a pretty AH move. On the other hand, hubby reacted badly and showed his petty, childish streak. I think there's more to the whole situation because normal people don't behave that way.

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Jaime Scarpetta
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When she has other stuff to do its low on her list because she expects him to be an adult. He clearly doesn't act like one so he's the only one in the wrong here

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Richard Boler
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So being in charge of the house you failed to prepare a shirt that you've done for your sahm years. You also set him up to fail as you knew he hadn't heard and made no effort to talk to him in the hour, or made a compromise to allow him to do it. His response was over the top for sure, though I can understand his frustration. I think you both have stressful lives, and need time to appreciate each other.

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Jaime Scarpetta
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Its on him to make sure HIS s**t is in order dude. She's likely doing 20 other things for the house, child rearing for 3 no less, on top of pretty much everything else. The way it sounds dude does nothing around the house which I'd honestly believe. They need to appreciate each other? More like he needs to appreciate her considering she's likely doing everything but making the money. Its not HER job to make sure he's presentable. Thats on him.

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Claire
Community Member
1 year ago

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well ironing just one uniform shouldnt take hours, you probably could spare some, if you cant then just make it clear, the husband also exaggerate too much instead communicating well, so both are kinda at fault

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Gwyn
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

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As a SAHM myself, the story seemed odd . I don't understand why she couldn't put off the other chores to do his shirt. If they agreed to a chore split where she is supposed to do the ironing, it seems like she could prioritize it if he had to go to work soon. It makes me think there's more going on there than she's letting on. What time is day was it? Was she super behind on chores and no one had any clean clothes to go to school and they hadn't done homework the night before? Or was she being passive aggressive to him with not giving a straight answer? Was he busy? Could be have have ironed his own shirt/does he even know how? Why does she consider his work shirts lower priority than the other laundry? Need more info. However, his reaction was definitely out of line.

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Jaime Scarpetta
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Considering the chore split is she doing all the chores? Not much of a split. You ask why ironing his shirts is a low priority? Because he's kind of an adult and should be able to fix it himself?

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Brindle Nutter
Community Member
1 year ago

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If I got to stay home, I'd iron whatever you want all day long. Donna Reed at your service

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Humberto Zapico
Community Member
1 year ago

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Aviation is a high stress industry, Pilot's don't need more stress at home. Imagine having the responsibility of hundreds of human lives but your wife can't iron a uniform. Smh. Find a woman who values you king. Stop missing work.

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Misty Moon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So taking care of a household isn't stressful? Not only that but not all polites are married or this entitled. Your delusional if you think otherwise.

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Gerald powers
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1 year ago

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Sounds like an unfair one sided character assassination piece. Until you know all the facts and history of the couple, this kind of criticism is unfair and unwarranted. If the woman can't manage her responsibilities to get things done when needed she is/has a problem (maybe an AH). If the man tried other ways to get what he needed then may be this was the best response (or maybe he was an AH). We don't know his side of the story, or they're history so this sounds more like propaganda than journalism. Maybe she slept till noon and drank wine till late afternoon all week and now has has to play catchup on other chores and could not fit in ironing for the 5th time this week (not likely but we don't know). PS I have done ALL the household chores for years because my wife is sick AND I am really good at ironing.

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De Nilla
Community Member
1 year ago

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I'll give the unpopular opinion here. In their household, each party has obligations. It's the husband's obligation to pay all their bills/expenses, which as a pilot he is obviously taking good care of his family. The wife has a predetermined list of household chores and ironing his uniform is on that list. I'd say it's apparent to anyone that a pilot needs to look professional as it could mean their reputation/job. His job should be a priority as the landlord isn't going to care that you spent all day doing homework, he wants money. When she shrugged off her responsibility as if it's his job/his problem, he missed a day of work to show that it's important that they BOTH do their part. Which makes sense. She never said anything about him telling her that her bills/needs are her own problem and go pay for her own things. Because paying for those things is his responsibility based on the way they run their home. The main income source should always be a priority to both of them.

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Leila Abdelmeguid
Community Member
1 year ago

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I'm probably the only person who thinks this woman is in the wrong, but one of the purposes of being a housewife is so that the husband can have a comfortable life and be able to work successfully and provide, while the woman is able to enjoy raising her children without the added stress of also working outside the home, and the children benefit from having a mother who is attentive and able to put the family first. This is the model for a successful family and has been the primary social structure for all of humanity up until several decades ago, and since then, the family structure has completely collapsed leading to a breakdown of society. Anyway, yes a housewife should cooperate with her husband and make his job a priority because it is in her and her children's best interest to do so. It seems as if he over reacted to prove a point, but this likely was not an isolated incident for him to behave this way.

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Tamra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I disagree. A SAHM's purpose is NOT to make sure her husband has "a comfortable life". The primary purpose is to raise decent, responsible, healthy human beings. And in any spare moment of time available, there's bill-paying, grocery shopping, meal planning and prep, laundry for multiple people, cleaning the house (I even did all the small repairs that were needed), arranging doctor appointments, help with school work, all social planning...I mean the list goes on and on. It's not a 9-5 job, it's constant. As such, she's entitled to a quiet moment, ffs. He's providing financially, and she's providing literally everything else.

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Itz Waffles
Community Member
1 year ago

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You're kind of the AH. Come on dude, you could've taken 5 minutes to iron a uniform! However your husband is AH for being overdramatic.

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Tumo Nakadashi
Community Member
1 year ago

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You agreed to the life and now you're complaining. Status quo.

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Humberto Zapico
Community Member
1 year ago

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Maybe instead of losing your Job just get another girl?

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Tamra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would he lose his job? Oh, that's right... because he CHOSE to not go to work because he's too lazy to do his own ironing.

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J P
Community Member
1 year ago

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Guys she stays at home to support the family. She should know her duties the same way if she was an employee of any company, and had assigned tasks. Her job is taking care of the family l. He didn't handle it the best but he has now made it clear how important it is. No different than a secretary bringing the boss coffee, sure he could do it but it's not his job. Jeez

tamrastiffler avatar
Tamra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Except it IS different than a secretary bringing the boss coffee. He is not "the boss"! He should be acting as a partner, not as someone who thinks all of his needs will be met by another person, because they BOTH work. She just doesn't get paid. Raising three kids is non-stop work - there are no days off, no vacations, and no sick time! I'm sick of men thinking that women exist to serve them! We don't. He's a lazy man-child who has no respect for her, or for what she does. He deserves to be alone. Then who's gonna take care of the ironing?

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Exotic Butters
Community Member
1 year ago

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I think YTA. At the least you could have told him that he'd need to iron it before he was ready to walk out the door. " I might not get to it" doesn't really say yes or no. And yes, if I were getting on a plane I would have less confidence in a sloppy, wrinkled pilot.

othornhill6792 avatar
Mrs.Pugh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I might not get to it" means "be prepared to have to iron your own clothes because I'm busy right now."

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An Bui
Community Member
1 year ago

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they should get a divorce and both figure it out individually. they're both the AH. He for being a man-child and her for playing games as well by ignoring his request. If she wasn't gonna do it when he asked, she should just say so and let him deal with it.

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Powerful Katrinka
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She did. She warned him that she doubted whether she would get a chance to do it.

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