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Man Goes Online To Vent About A Cheating Wife, Gets A Harsh Reality Check
Sad man showing low libido texting on phone paired with female doctor consulting a patient in medical office

Man Goes Online To Vent About A Cheating Wife, Gets A Harsh Reality Check

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Every relationship relies on love and trust to grow and thrive. But when one partner feels they aren’t getting the “love” they expect, it can lead to distance, resentment, or even deception

For instance, a man recently opened up about discovering that his wife of 16 years was having an affair with a coworker. When he confronted her, her reaction left him even more hurt and bewildered. Keep reading to see how this complicated and emotional situation unfolded.

RELATED:

    The truth often has a way of coming out at the most inconvenient times, and when it does, it can shake even the strongest relationships

    Middle-aged man looking upset while holding smartphone, reflecting on husband refusing intimacy for five years.

    Image credits: stevanovicigor / Envato (not the actual photo)

    A man shared how he discovered texts from his wife revealing an intimate connection with a coworker, leaving him completely devastated

    Text post about husband refusing intimacy for five years and suspecting wife’s affair, venting online.

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    Text excerpt about low libido and lack of interest in intimacy over the past five years in a long-term relationship.

    Text on white background stating a husband refuses intimacy for 5 years and is shocked wife finds someone younger.

    Text excerpt describing a husband noticing his wife texting and smiling, then checking her phone messages secretly.

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    Text about husband refusing intimacy for 5 years and wife finding someone else 5 years younger discussed in casual conversation.

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    Text excerpt about a husband discovering his wife’s contact and pictures with another man after years of refused intimacy.

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    Middle-aged husband and wife having a tense conversation about intimacy issues and relationship distance at home.

    Image credits: drazenphoto / Envato (not the actual photo)

    Text image showing a statement about a man born in 1993 being five and a half years younger than the wife.

    Text expressing emotional struggle after husband refuses intimacy for years, feeling embarrassed and unable to share with others.

    Image credits: anon

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    It’s often helpful to understand the five love languages, as they can play a key role in keeping a romantic relationship strong and thriving

    While any relationship thrives on trust and respect, when it comes to romance, there’s a little extra magic in understanding how your partner feels most loved. Paying attention to what makes them feel valued, and sharing what makes you feel the same, turns everyday moments into gestures that really count. It’s not complicated; it’s about noticing, caring, and making each other feel seen. This kind of connection keeps the spark alive and makes both of you feel truly appreciated.

    Speaking of which, it helps to understand the five ways people feel and express love. For some, hearing kind words and compliments, what’s called “words of affirmation”, really makes them feel cared for. A simple “I appreciate you” or “you mean a lot to me” can brighten their day and deepen the connection. It’s not just about saying nice things; it’s about expressing genuine affection in a way that resonates. When you know this is important to your partner, small phrases can have a big impact. 

    Then there’s quality time, which some people value more than anything else. For them, being fully present together matters more than gifts or gestures. It’s about sharing experiences, having meaningful conversations, or just enjoying each other’s company without distractions. Even a short walk, a coffee date, or a quiet evening on the couch can make them feel deeply connected. The key is attention and presence, they notice when you’re really there with them.

    Receiving gifts is another way people feel appreciated. For some, a thoughtful present, even something small or simple, communicates care and attention. It’s less about material value and more about showing that you were thinking of them. A favorite snack, a handwritten note, or a little surprise can speak volumes. It’s a visual reminder of love and thoughtfulness that they can hold onto. When you know someone resonates with this language, gestures that might seem minor can have a major emotional impact. Gifts, in this sense, become symbols of affection and connection.

    Acts of service are also a powerful way to show love. Doing something helpful or thoughtful, like making a meal, running an errand, or taking care of a chore, can mean more than words for some people. It’s about showing up, contributing, and making their life easier or brighter. Even small efforts demonstrate care and thoughtfulness. People who value acts of service often notice when tasks are done with intention, not obligation. When you take the time to act in ways that matter to them, it strengthens trust and appreciation. Simple deeds become heartfelt expressions of love.

    For some people, physical touch is their primary way of feeling loved and connected to their partner

    Physical touch is another way people feel deeply connected. For those with this as their primary language, hugs, hand-holding, cuddles, or other forms of affectionate contact create a sense of closeness. It’s not about intimacy alone, it’s about reassurance, comfort, and a feeling of safety. A gentle touch or an arm around the shoulder can communicate warmth and connection in ways words sometimes cannot. These gestures build closeness and help maintain emotional bonds. 

    Now, you might strongly resonate with one love language and not so much with others, but that doesn’t mean your partner feels the same way, or that their way is any less valid. Understanding and sharing your own preferences while learning theirs is key. Open communication helps avoid misunderstandings and makes both partners feel seen. Let them know what matters to you, and take the time to notice what matters to them. Relationships thrive when both people feel heard, understood, and cared for in the ways that truly resonate. It’s not always easy, but the effort builds a deeper, more connected love over time.

    In this particular case, it seems the author may not have fully understood or addressed his partner’s needs, but that in no way gives her the right to cheat. Relationships are complicated, and unmet needs can cause frustration or distance, yet betrayal is a choice. Both sides may have made mistakes, but trust and respect remain non-negotiable. What are your thoughts on this situation? How would you handle something like this in a relationship?

    Many people online criticized the author for not being understanding of his partner’s needs and perspective

    Reddit comment questioning testosterone levels and low libido in a discussion about husband refusing intimacy for years.

    Comment highlighting that the age gap between partners should not be a major concern in relationships.

    Screenshot of an online comment questioning efforts to satisfy physical needs during a 5-year lack of intimacy in marriage.

    Comment discussing age difference in a husband refusing intimacy for 5 years and wife finding someone else.

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a marriage affected by lack of intimacy and relationship changes over 16 years.

    Comment discussing husband refusing intimacy and wife finding someone else five years younger, highlighting age gap issues.

    Screenshot of an online comment discussing issues of intimacy and trust in a troubled marriage situation.

    Screenshot of a social media comment discussing issues of intimacy and relationship problems between husband and wife.

    Comment discussing husband refusing intimacy for years and wife seeking someone else due to unmet needs and low libido.

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing husband refusing intimacy and wife finding someone younger after five years.

    Online comment discussing husband refusing intimacy for 5 years and wife finding someone 5 years younger.

    Screenshot of an online forum post discussing a husband refusing intimacy for 5 years and wife's reaction.

    Comment discussing husband's refusal of intimacy and wife's choice to find someone younger after 5 years of no intimacy.

    Comment about husband refusing intimacy for years leads wife to find someone younger to meet needs.

    Text comment discussing low libido issues and emphasizing that the problem may lie with the husband, not the wife.

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a husband refusing intimacy and the wife finding someone else younger.

    Comment text on a white background discussing age difference between a 33-year-old and a 21-year-old related to intimacy refusal.

    Screenshot of an online comment discussing a husband refusing intimacy and its impact on the marriage over five years.

    Comment discussing age gap in dating, questioning why a 33-year-old would date a 21-year-old with no common interests.

    Others sympathized with him, suggesting that divorce might be the best path forward

    Screenshot of a comment discussing husband refusing intimacy for years and wife finding someone younger after trust is broken.

    Reddit comment discussing husband refusing intimacy for 5 years and wife finding someone 5 years younger.

    Reddit comment discussing husband refusing intimacy and impact on marriage, addressing accountability and relationship issues.

    Screenshot of an online comment saying "Leave bro seriously" in response to a relationship discussion about intimacy refusal.

    Comment expressing sympathy about husband refusing intimacy for 5 years and wife finding someone 5 years younger.

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing marriage issues after husband refuses intimacy for five years.

    Online forum comment discussing husband refusing intimacy for five years and wife's response finding someone younger.

    Screenshot of a forum comment discussing cheating and intimacy issues in a marriage over several years.

    Comment advising to check T levels and focus on self-care and resilience after husband refuses intimacy for years

    The man revealed that he has decided to leave his wife

    Female doctor in white coat talking to male patient, illustrating husband refuses intimacy for 5 years concept.

    Image credits: halfpoint / Envato (not the actual photo)

    Text excerpt revealing a husband's low libido and wife's affair with a younger man during five years of refused intimacy.

    Alt text: Text conversation revealing husband's refusal of intimacy for 5 years and wife's reaction to finding someone else younger

    Text excerpt discussing husband refusing intimacy, wife's frustration, and impact on their relationship after years of neglect.

    Text message conversation displaying a demand to see more texts after discovering husband's refusal of intimacy.

    Text excerpt from a personal story about intimacy issues and emotional frustration in a troubled relationship.

    Text from user discussing calling someone a word starting with w that rhymes with chore, leading to conflict in a husband refuses intimacy story.

    Couple having a tense conversation, woman looking upset and man gesturing, illustrating intimacy refusal and relationship conflict.

    Image credits: zamrznutitonovi / Envato (not the actual photo)

    Text discussing a wife finding someone else after husband refuses intimacy for five years, comparing partners.

    Text excerpt describing a wife meeting a younger man from the UK after years of husband refusing intimacy.

    Text describing a husband who refuses intimacy for 5 years and his wife finding someone else 5 years younger.

    Text excerpt describing a husband refusing intimacy for years while wife finds someone younger on another continent.

    Text about husband refusing intimacy for years citing low libido, while wife finds someone else younger.

    Text showing a man reflecting on lost intimacy with his wife, revealing feelings of regret and frustration.

    Text from a person discussing calling divorce lawyers and seeking therapy after husband refuses intimacy for five years.

    Woman in a blue blazer advising a distressed man at a desk with legal books and a gavel in an office setting.

    Image credits: jilapong / Envato (not the actual photo)

    Text image showing the phrase about an unhappy ending that was long overdue in a simple black font on white background.

    Text image with a relationship advice message about satisfying your wife to avoid problems.

    Image credits: anon

    Some commenters pointed out that both partners share responsibility for the breakdown of trust in this situation

    Comment on resentment and humiliation in a husband refusing intimacy for 5 years situation with age difference mentioned.

    Comment discussing refusal of intimacy and its impact on relationships, emphasizing mental health and moving on.

    Reddit comment criticizing a 30+ year old man for dating a teenager, highlighting issues of predatory behavior and lost youth.

    Comment discussing a husband refusing intimacy for years with a younger wife who sought help and found someone else.

    Comment discussing issues of intimacy and relationship challenges in a marriage where husband refuses intimacy for years.

    Alt text: Online discussion about husband refusing intimacy for years and impact on marriage and wife finding someone younger.

    Screenshot of an online comment discussing low libido and relationship issues related to husband refusing intimacy.

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing age difference and relationship issues in a husband refusing intimacy situation.

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a husband refusing intimacy for 5 years and wife finding someone younger.

    Alt text: Comment discussing husband refusing intimacy for 5 years and wife finding someone 5 years younger.

    Comment discussing husband refusing intimacy for 5 years and wife finding someone 5 years younger after cheating.

    Reddit user questions husband’s refusal of intimacy for years and asks if he sought medical help or tried medication.

    Comment expressing support for wife and criticizing husband for age difference and marriage issues after refusal of intimacy for 5 years.

    Screenshot of an online comment discussing a husband refusing intimacy for years and the wife finding someone younger.

    Comment expressing frustration over self-pity as wife moves on after husband refuses intimacy for 5 years.

    Reddit comment discussing husband refuses intimacy for 5 years and wife finds younger partner causing conflict.

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing age gap and dating boundaries in relationships with intimacy refusal.

    Comment discussing a husband refusing intimacy for 5 years and the impact on their relationship age gap.

    Comment discussing low libido and loveless relationship issues after husband refuses intimacy for 5 years.

    Screenshot of a user comment discussing cheating and refusal of intimacy in a troubled marriage situation online.

    Comment text on a white background discussing ages at marriage in a relationship involving husband refusing intimacy for 5 years.

    Screenshot of an online comment discussing age difference and intimacy issues in a marriage, focusing on husband refusal.

    Screenshot of an online comment discussing a husband refusing intimacy for years and wife finding someone younger.

    Comment discussing hurt and neglect in a marriage after husband refuses intimacy for five years and wife seeks younger partner.

    Screenshot of an online comment discussing a husband refusing intimacy for five years and his wife's new relationship with someone younger.

    Screenshot of a forum comment discussing age difference and relationship issues related to husband refusing intimacy for years.

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    Nikita Manot

    Nikita Manot

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Nikita's knack for storytelling and creativity has led her into the world of writing. With a robust foundation in business studies, she crafts compelling narratives by seamlessly blending analytical insight with imaginative expression. At Bored Panda, she embarks on an exhilarating quest to explore diverse topics, fueled by curiosity and passion. During her leisure time, she savors life's simple pleasures, such as gardening, cooking homemade meals and hosting gatherings for loved ones.

    Read less »
    Nikita Manot

    Nikita Manot

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Nikita's knack for storytelling and creativity has led her into the world of writing. With a robust foundation in business studies, she crafts compelling narratives by seamlessly blending analytical insight with imaginative expression. At Bored Panda, she embarks on an exhilarating quest to explore diverse topics, fueled by curiosity and passion. During her leisure time, she savors life's simple pleasures, such as gardening, cooking homemade meals and hosting gatherings for loved ones.

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

    Read less »

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

    What do you think ?
    Mark Childers
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    D**n, no s*x in 5 years, and he never got it checked out, even after his wife brought it up, repeatedly, I'm sure. That kind of apathy and lack of concern and consideration, as well as his own well-being, makes me wonder if he's clinically depressed. That's not normal, but it's also not fair to the wife to ignore it for 5 years.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He is now yes , cos low testosterone also causes that to . So soon as he noticed something wasn’t right he should have gone to the docs HE DIDNT n let it go on this long so yup he will be very depressed,

    Load More Replies...
    Shark Lady
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I abhor cheating full stop. Why is op only going to a doctor about his libido issues now that him and his wife have split. I'm not saying it would make a difference but if he had his issues looked at 5 years ago, things might have turned out better for all concerned.

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    Wendy Melissa
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't cheat - when it comes to this, just leave first. Cheating is never justified. Automatically makes you the AH.

    JayWantsACat
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ESH. He didn't deserve to get cheated on, obvioulsy, but he's literally only doing something about his marriage and health because of it. His wife came to him with her issues for for years and he did nothing. Again, didn't derverse to be cheated on but at that point, why would he be surprised?

    EmJay
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He says she’s “punishing me for my low libido”!! For 5 years he has had no interest in her needs and no interest is fixing what’s broken. Now he’s shocked and hurt? She’s not punishing you, dude, she’s taking care of herself. You knew it was a serious problem for her but your needs, or lack of, are your primary focus. I’m surprised she stayed for five years.

    Fellfromthemoon
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is a remote possibility that the wife seen cheating as the only way out of this marriage. She was married to a groomer who did not address the (low libido) problem, the problem that affected her for five years, in spite of her concerns. Something tells me controlling behavior is not far from OP's character.

    Bumpuff
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't blame her at all. He sounds like a nasty, bitter, arrogant old man. She's right - he did steal her youth & he has had no consideration for her feelings at all. I hope she lived happily ever after with Dr Michael.

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What she did was wrong, clearly. She should have left him. But I'm also strongly team "you were happy to get your d/ck wet when you were in your 30s and never thought about her s*x life when she would be your age, you selfish cretin".

    roddy
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She should have discussed this with him and not had him find out this way. Perhaps they could have come to some arrangement that suited both. And if the marriage was on the rocks, then admit it and move on, find someone else after. But betrayal is never right.

    LongFang
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP : Surprised Pikachu face. 5yrs & no check up... smh

    Jack
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you've agreed to monogamy, and you replace it with anything else like polyamory, or in this case, celibacy, that's going to bother your spouse. Especially if you just toss your hands up like "well, I guess we're both done with s*x forever now" You do not have to have s*x with anyone if you do not want to. But in a relationship that has a s****l component, it's not fair to change that without discussion. Nobody buys a house for the bathroom, but if your spouse walled it off and said, "I don't need to pee anymore so I got rid of the bathroom" you would be upset.

    J R
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ESH. The wife shouldn't have cheated. Her response to him shows she let the resentment of this build up. She should have gotten a divorce. Nevertheless, 5 years is a long time to not have s*x with one's spouse. I don't think spouses always need to gear their libido toward their spouse, but if one's spouse is making it clear that they have different needs and it's a big issue, one should at least consider going to a doctor. Also, while I don't normally care about age gaps between adults, there's a significant difference between a 33-year-old dating a 21-year-old and someone who's say 40 dating someone who's 52. A 21-year-old is college-aged. Usually, they don't have the life experience of a 33 year old. They're still learning how jobs, taxes, credit cards, and other things adults deal with on a daily basis work. By 33, most people have a firmer grasp of that. They were at such different life stages, I'm not surprised it didn't work out.

    Barbara Deskins
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once talked to my doctor about my low libido. He said "You need to like the guy you sleep with". Since my doctor had met him, he knew!

    TheWickedOne
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The amount of people only blaming him is laughable, ignorant people blow my mind.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry, but if you're not happy, leave. Or you talk to your partner about opening the relationship. There's no excuse for cheating, se x is a Want, not a Need. Her excuse is as lame as a husband saying he has "needs" and cheating while his wife is healing from giving birth. It was in No Way his fault, this is completely on her for cheating. If you and your spouse are incompatible, you simply walk away, you don't break your vows

    Sa Ruuu
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like how people are trying to justify her cheating by saying "well, he wasn't satisfying her needs!" 🙄

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's just it, it's not a nerd, it's a Want. Oxygen, food, and water are Needs, s ex is not.

    Load More Replies...
    Eliza
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm glad your wife got some good, hard f*****g. She deserved it. Just because you can't f**k doesn't mean she's not supposed to, you idiot. F**k you. You got what you deserve. Haha.

    Sofia
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think both at fault... You should have got checked sooner and she should have raised that no s*x was a problem for her sooner instead of cheating

    LilliVB
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But she did raise the issue. And he ignored it. Still wrong for cheating, nonetheless, if she didn't want to be with him anymore and/or wanted to have s*x with someone, she should have said so clearly before having s*x with someone else. But probably, as she perceived his lack of interest in resolving the issue as lack of interest in her and their marriage, she feels justified.

    Load More Replies...
    nicholas nolan
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ROFL. Y'all comments and the comments in the original post. "Well it's understandable" holy s**t people, check your toxic masculinity at the door. Swap the genders, whatever you need. What the f**k ever happened to some of y'alls "there's never an excuse" feelings?

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    As someone who at 18 married a 32 yr old , (he turned out to be a wife beater as also cheated on me with MY STEP MOTHER and so called best friend ) I was gone in 6 mths cos it was safer on the streets ,so THIS story has got me triggered , So op is playing woe is me blah bloody blah , he was ok libido wise untill 5 yrs ago , ffs that does happen over night FOR NO REASON !!now it could just be something simple to fix ,but it could also be something very wrong , how would he bloody know cos he can’t be bothered to leg it to his docs n get it checked asap , that’s how much he cares about his wife !! HE DOESNT !n seems fixated on the bloke being 5 yrs younger than her 🤦‍♀️REALLY DUDE .i loath cheating ,n she’s wrong doe doing that ,but ffs MAN UP HUSBAND UP u are a predator! Cos as loads pointed out married her when she was 21 ! So she would have been in her teens when u got together , most said like 19 but we don’t know how long they were together ,before they married ,could be 20 ,

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Could well have been 17 🤷‍♀️and now he’s shocked she cheated on him ! And yes that is down to him ,trust me it’s vile being in a marriage n not being shown any tenderness love etc ,s e x isn’t the be all of a marriage . But it is a huge part of the entire package ! NOW he’s divorcing her he’s apparently going to get seen n sorted ,”shut the stable door after the horse has bolted much “ 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️he’s learned NOTHING next time op try going after women your own f kin age ,n quit being a p e a d o 🤬YTA n yup I know I’ll get downvoted on both ,cos I’m not liked but that’s a you all as do so,s issue not mine !!

    Load More Replies...
    Nils Skirnir
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    It’s odd that pseudo feminists on here seem to have raked this guy over the coals. However, there’ve been literally hundreds of posts here where the above have stood by women who don’t want intimacy and blasted the guy who went out for some intimacy. Double standards abound. The key is if you don’t like the relationship, leave. Full stop. The man needs some cojones and the woman some ovaries

    Mark Stewart
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes there wouldn't have been any "poor guy, it must be so frustrating for him to live in a sexless marriage", he would have been crucified for having an affair and told he should have got a divorce first.

    Load More Replies...
    Mark Childers
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    D**n, no s*x in 5 years, and he never got it checked out, even after his wife brought it up, repeatedly, I'm sure. That kind of apathy and lack of concern and consideration, as well as his own well-being, makes me wonder if he's clinically depressed. That's not normal, but it's also not fair to the wife to ignore it for 5 years.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He is now yes , cos low testosterone also causes that to . So soon as he noticed something wasn’t right he should have gone to the docs HE DIDNT n let it go on this long so yup he will be very depressed,

    Load More Replies...
    Shark Lady
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I abhor cheating full stop. Why is op only going to a doctor about his libido issues now that him and his wife have split. I'm not saying it would make a difference but if he had his issues looked at 5 years ago, things might have turned out better for all concerned.

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    Wendy Melissa
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't cheat - when it comes to this, just leave first. Cheating is never justified. Automatically makes you the AH.

    JayWantsACat
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ESH. He didn't deserve to get cheated on, obvioulsy, but he's literally only doing something about his marriage and health because of it. His wife came to him with her issues for for years and he did nothing. Again, didn't derverse to be cheated on but at that point, why would he be surprised?

    EmJay
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He says she’s “punishing me for my low libido”!! For 5 years he has had no interest in her needs and no interest is fixing what’s broken. Now he’s shocked and hurt? She’s not punishing you, dude, she’s taking care of herself. You knew it was a serious problem for her but your needs, or lack of, are your primary focus. I’m surprised she stayed for five years.

    Fellfromthemoon
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is a remote possibility that the wife seen cheating as the only way out of this marriage. She was married to a groomer who did not address the (low libido) problem, the problem that affected her for five years, in spite of her concerns. Something tells me controlling behavior is not far from OP's character.

    Bumpuff
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't blame her at all. He sounds like a nasty, bitter, arrogant old man. She's right - he did steal her youth & he has had no consideration for her feelings at all. I hope she lived happily ever after with Dr Michael.

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What she did was wrong, clearly. She should have left him. But I'm also strongly team "you were happy to get your d/ck wet when you were in your 30s and never thought about her s*x life when she would be your age, you selfish cretin".

    roddy
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She should have discussed this with him and not had him find out this way. Perhaps they could have come to some arrangement that suited both. And if the marriage was on the rocks, then admit it and move on, find someone else after. But betrayal is never right.

    LongFang
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP : Surprised Pikachu face. 5yrs & no check up... smh

    Jack
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you've agreed to monogamy, and you replace it with anything else like polyamory, or in this case, celibacy, that's going to bother your spouse. Especially if you just toss your hands up like "well, I guess we're both done with s*x forever now" You do not have to have s*x with anyone if you do not want to. But in a relationship that has a s****l component, it's not fair to change that without discussion. Nobody buys a house for the bathroom, but if your spouse walled it off and said, "I don't need to pee anymore so I got rid of the bathroom" you would be upset.

    J R
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ESH. The wife shouldn't have cheated. Her response to him shows she let the resentment of this build up. She should have gotten a divorce. Nevertheless, 5 years is a long time to not have s*x with one's spouse. I don't think spouses always need to gear their libido toward their spouse, but if one's spouse is making it clear that they have different needs and it's a big issue, one should at least consider going to a doctor. Also, while I don't normally care about age gaps between adults, there's a significant difference between a 33-year-old dating a 21-year-old and someone who's say 40 dating someone who's 52. A 21-year-old is college-aged. Usually, they don't have the life experience of a 33 year old. They're still learning how jobs, taxes, credit cards, and other things adults deal with on a daily basis work. By 33, most people have a firmer grasp of that. They were at such different life stages, I'm not surprised it didn't work out.

    Barbara Deskins
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once talked to my doctor about my low libido. He said "You need to like the guy you sleep with". Since my doctor had met him, he knew!

    TheWickedOne
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The amount of people only blaming him is laughable, ignorant people blow my mind.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry, but if you're not happy, leave. Or you talk to your partner about opening the relationship. There's no excuse for cheating, se x is a Want, not a Need. Her excuse is as lame as a husband saying he has "needs" and cheating while his wife is healing from giving birth. It was in No Way his fault, this is completely on her for cheating. If you and your spouse are incompatible, you simply walk away, you don't break your vows

    Sa Ruuu
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like how people are trying to justify her cheating by saying "well, he wasn't satisfying her needs!" 🙄

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's just it, it's not a nerd, it's a Want. Oxygen, food, and water are Needs, s ex is not.

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    Eliza
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm glad your wife got some good, hard f*****g. She deserved it. Just because you can't f**k doesn't mean she's not supposed to, you idiot. F**k you. You got what you deserve. Haha.

    Sofia
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think both at fault... You should have got checked sooner and she should have raised that no s*x was a problem for her sooner instead of cheating

    LilliVB
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But she did raise the issue. And he ignored it. Still wrong for cheating, nonetheless, if she didn't want to be with him anymore and/or wanted to have s*x with someone, she should have said so clearly before having s*x with someone else. But probably, as she perceived his lack of interest in resolving the issue as lack of interest in her and their marriage, she feels justified.

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    nicholas nolan
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ROFL. Y'all comments and the comments in the original post. "Well it's understandable" holy s**t people, check your toxic masculinity at the door. Swap the genders, whatever you need. What the f**k ever happened to some of y'alls "there's never an excuse" feelings?

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    As someone who at 18 married a 32 yr old , (he turned out to be a wife beater as also cheated on me with MY STEP MOTHER and so called best friend ) I was gone in 6 mths cos it was safer on the streets ,so THIS story has got me triggered , So op is playing woe is me blah bloody blah , he was ok libido wise untill 5 yrs ago , ffs that does happen over night FOR NO REASON !!now it could just be something simple to fix ,but it could also be something very wrong , how would he bloody know cos he can’t be bothered to leg it to his docs n get it checked asap , that’s how much he cares about his wife !! HE DOESNT !n seems fixated on the bloke being 5 yrs younger than her 🤦‍♀️REALLY DUDE .i loath cheating ,n she’s wrong doe doing that ,but ffs MAN UP HUSBAND UP u are a predator! Cos as loads pointed out married her when she was 21 ! So she would have been in her teens when u got together , most said like 19 but we don’t know how long they were together ,before they married ,could be 20 ,

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Could well have been 17 🤷‍♀️and now he’s shocked she cheated on him ! And yes that is down to him ,trust me it’s vile being in a marriage n not being shown any tenderness love etc ,s e x isn’t the be all of a marriage . But it is a huge part of the entire package ! NOW he’s divorcing her he’s apparently going to get seen n sorted ,”shut the stable door after the horse has bolted much “ 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️he’s learned NOTHING next time op try going after women your own f kin age ,n quit being a p e a d o 🤬YTA n yup I know I’ll get downvoted on both ,cos I’m not liked but that’s a you all as do so,s issue not mine !!

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    Nils Skirnir
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    It’s odd that pseudo feminists on here seem to have raked this guy over the coals. However, there’ve been literally hundreds of posts here where the above have stood by women who don’t want intimacy and blasted the guy who went out for some intimacy. Double standards abound. The key is if you don’t like the relationship, leave. Full stop. The man needs some cojones and the woman some ovaries

    Mark Stewart
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes there wouldn't have been any "poor guy, it must be so frustrating for him to live in a sexless marriage", he would have been crucified for having an affair and told he should have got a divorce first.

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