Every relationship relies on love and trust to grow and thrive. But when one partner feels they aren’t getting the “love” they expect, it can lead to distance, resentment, or even deception.
For instance, a man recently opened up about discovering that his wife of 16 years was having an affair with a coworker. When he confronted her, her reaction left him even more hurt and bewildered. Keep reading to see how this complicated and emotional situation unfolded.
The truth often has a way of coming out at the most inconvenient times, and when it does, it can shake even the strongest relationships
Image credits: stevanovicigor / Envato (not the actual photo)
A man shared how he discovered texts from his wife revealing an intimate connection with a coworker, leaving him completely devastated
Image credits: drazenphoto / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anon
It’s often helpful to understand the five love languages, as they can play a key role in keeping a romantic relationship strong and thriving
While any relationship thrives on trust and respect, when it comes to romance, there’s a little extra magic in understanding how your partner feels most loved. Paying attention to what makes them feel valued, and sharing what makes you feel the same, turns everyday moments into gestures that really count. It’s not complicated; it’s about noticing, caring, and making each other feel seen. This kind of connection keeps the spark alive and makes both of you feel truly appreciated.
Speaking of which, it helps to understand the five ways people feel and express love. For some, hearing kind words and compliments, what’s called “words of affirmation”, really makes them feel cared for. A simple “I appreciate you” or “you mean a lot to me” can brighten their day and deepen the connection. It’s not just about saying nice things; it’s about expressing genuine affection in a way that resonates. When you know this is important to your partner, small phrases can have a big impact.
Then there’s quality time, which some people value more than anything else. For them, being fully present together matters more than gifts or gestures. It’s about sharing experiences, having meaningful conversations, or just enjoying each other’s company without distractions. Even a short walk, a coffee date, or a quiet evening on the couch can make them feel deeply connected. The key is attention and presence, they notice when you’re really there with them.
Receiving gifts is another way people feel appreciated. For some, a thoughtful present, even something small or simple, communicates care and attention. It’s less about material value and more about showing that you were thinking of them. A favorite snack, a handwritten note, or a little surprise can speak volumes. It’s a visual reminder of love and thoughtfulness that they can hold onto. When you know someone resonates with this language, gestures that might seem minor can have a major emotional impact. Gifts, in this sense, become symbols of affection and connection.
Acts of service are also a powerful way to show love. Doing something helpful or thoughtful, like making a meal, running an errand, or taking care of a chore, can mean more than words for some people. It’s about showing up, contributing, and making their life easier or brighter. Even small efforts demonstrate care and thoughtfulness. People who value acts of service often notice when tasks are done with intention, not obligation. When you take the time to act in ways that matter to them, it strengthens trust and appreciation. Simple deeds become heartfelt expressions of love.
For some people, physical touch is their primary way of feeling loved and connected to their partner
Physical touch is another way people feel deeply connected. For those with this as their primary language, hugs, hand-holding, cuddles, or other forms of affectionate contact create a sense of closeness. It’s not about intimacy alone, it’s about reassurance, comfort, and a feeling of safety. A gentle touch or an arm around the shoulder can communicate warmth and connection in ways words sometimes cannot. These gestures build closeness and help maintain emotional bonds.
Now, you might strongly resonate with one love language and not so much with others, but that doesn’t mean your partner feels the same way, or that their way is any less valid. Understanding and sharing your own preferences while learning theirs is key. Open communication helps avoid misunderstandings and makes both partners feel seen. Let them know what matters to you, and take the time to notice what matters to them. Relationships thrive when both people feel heard, understood, and cared for in the ways that truly resonate. It’s not always easy, but the effort builds a deeper, more connected love over time.
In this particular case, it seems the author may not have fully understood or addressed his partner’s needs, but that in no way gives her the right to cheat. Relationships are complicated, and unmet needs can cause frustration or distance, yet betrayal is a choice. Both sides may have made mistakes, but trust and respect remain non-negotiable. What are your thoughts on this situation? How would you handle something like this in a relationship?
Many people online criticized the author for not being understanding of his partner’s needs and perspective
Others sympathized with him, suggesting that divorce might be the best path forward
The man revealed that he has decided to leave his wife
Image credits: halfpoint / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: zamrznutitonovi / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: jilapong / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anon
Some commenters pointed out that both partners share responsibility for the breakdown of trust in this situation
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D**n, no s*x in 5 years, and he never got it checked out, even after his wife brought it up, repeatedly, I'm sure. That kind of apathy and lack of concern and consideration, as well as his own well-being, makes me wonder if he's clinically depressed. That's not normal, but it's also not fair to the wife to ignore it for 5 years.
He is now yes , cos low testosterone also causes that to . So soon as he noticed something wasn’t right he should have gone to the docs HE DIDNT n let it go on this long so yup he will be very depressed,
Load More Replies...I abhor cheating full stop. Why is op only going to a doctor about his libido issues now that him and his wife have split. I'm not saying it would make a difference but if he had his issues looked at 5 years ago, things might have turned out better for all concerned.
Don't cheat - when it comes to this, just leave first. Cheating is never justified. Automatically makes you the AH.
ESH. He didn't deserve to get cheated on, obvioulsy, but he's literally only doing something about his marriage and health because of it. His wife came to him with her issues for for years and he did nothing. Again, didn't derverse to be cheated on but at that point, why would he be surprised?
He says she’s “punishing me for my low libido”!! For 5 years he has had no interest in her needs and no interest is fixing what’s broken. Now he’s shocked and hurt? She’s not punishing you, dude, she’s taking care of herself. You knew it was a serious problem for her but your needs, or lack of, are your primary focus. I’m surprised she stayed for five years.
There is a remote possibility that the wife seen cheating as the only way out of this marriage. She was married to a groomer who did not address the (low libido) problem, the problem that affected her for five years, in spite of her concerns. Something tells me controlling behavior is not far from OP's character.
If you've agreed to monogamy, and you replace it with anything else like polyamory, or in this case, celibacy, that's going to bother your spouse. Especially if you just toss your hands up like "well, I guess we're both done with s*x forever now" You do not have to have s*x with anyone if you do not want to. But in a relationship that has a s****l component, it's not fair to change that without discussion. Nobody buys a house for the bathroom, but if your spouse walled it off and said, "I don't need to pee anymore so I got rid of the bathroom" you would be upset.
ESH. The wife shouldn't have cheated. Her response to him shows she let the resentment of this build up. She should have gotten a divorce. Nevertheless, 5 years is a long time to not have s*x with one's spouse. I don't think spouses always need to gear their libido toward their spouse, but if one's spouse is making it clear that they have different needs and it's a big issue, one should at least consider going to a doctor. Also, while I don't normally care about age gaps between adults, there's a significant difference between a 33-year-old dating a 21-year-old and someone who's say 40 dating someone who's 52. A 21-year-old is college-aged. Usually, they don't have the life experience of a 33 year old. They're still learning how jobs, taxes, credit cards, and other things adults deal with on a daily basis work. By 33, most people have a firmer grasp of that. They were at such different life stages, I'm not surprised it didn't work out.
I once talked to my doctor about my low libido. He said "You need to like the guy you sleep with". Since my doctor had met him, he knew!
The amount of people only blaming him is laughable, ignorant people blow my mind.
Sorry, but if you're not happy, leave. Or you talk to your partner about opening the relationship. There's no excuse for cheating, se x is a Want, not a Need. Her excuse is as lame as a husband saying he has "needs" and cheating while his wife is healing from giving birth. It was in No Way his fault, this is completely on her for cheating. If you and your spouse are incompatible, you simply walk away, you don't break your vows
I like how people are trying to justify her cheating by saying "well, he wasn't satisfying her needs!" 🙄
That's just it, it's not a nerd, it's a Want. Oxygen, food, and water are Needs, s ex is not.
Load More Replies...I think both at fault... You should have got checked sooner and she should have raised that no s*x was a problem for her sooner instead of cheating
But she did raise the issue. And he ignored it. Still wrong for cheating, nonetheless, if she didn't want to be with him anymore and/or wanted to have s*x with someone, she should have said so clearly before having s*x with someone else. But probably, as she perceived his lack of interest in resolving the issue as lack of interest in her and their marriage, she feels justified.
Load More Replies...ROFL. Y'all comments and the comments in the original post. "Well it's understandable" holy s**t people, check your toxic masculinity at the door. Swap the genders, whatever you need. What the f**k ever happened to some of y'alls "there's never an excuse" feelings?
Yes there wouldn't have been any "poor guy, it must be so frustrating for him to live in a sexless marriage", he would have been crucified for having an affair and told he should have got a divorce first.
Load More Replies...D**n, no s*x in 5 years, and he never got it checked out, even after his wife brought it up, repeatedly, I'm sure. That kind of apathy and lack of concern and consideration, as well as his own well-being, makes me wonder if he's clinically depressed. That's not normal, but it's also not fair to the wife to ignore it for 5 years.
He is now yes , cos low testosterone also causes that to . So soon as he noticed something wasn’t right he should have gone to the docs HE DIDNT n let it go on this long so yup he will be very depressed,
Load More Replies...I abhor cheating full stop. Why is op only going to a doctor about his libido issues now that him and his wife have split. I'm not saying it would make a difference but if he had his issues looked at 5 years ago, things might have turned out better for all concerned.
Don't cheat - when it comes to this, just leave first. Cheating is never justified. Automatically makes you the AH.
ESH. He didn't deserve to get cheated on, obvioulsy, but he's literally only doing something about his marriage and health because of it. His wife came to him with her issues for for years and he did nothing. Again, didn't derverse to be cheated on but at that point, why would he be surprised?
He says she’s “punishing me for my low libido”!! For 5 years he has had no interest in her needs and no interest is fixing what’s broken. Now he’s shocked and hurt? She’s not punishing you, dude, she’s taking care of herself. You knew it was a serious problem for her but your needs, or lack of, are your primary focus. I’m surprised she stayed for five years.
There is a remote possibility that the wife seen cheating as the only way out of this marriage. She was married to a groomer who did not address the (low libido) problem, the problem that affected her for five years, in spite of her concerns. Something tells me controlling behavior is not far from OP's character.
If you've agreed to monogamy, and you replace it with anything else like polyamory, or in this case, celibacy, that's going to bother your spouse. Especially if you just toss your hands up like "well, I guess we're both done with s*x forever now" You do not have to have s*x with anyone if you do not want to. But in a relationship that has a s****l component, it's not fair to change that without discussion. Nobody buys a house for the bathroom, but if your spouse walled it off and said, "I don't need to pee anymore so I got rid of the bathroom" you would be upset.
ESH. The wife shouldn't have cheated. Her response to him shows she let the resentment of this build up. She should have gotten a divorce. Nevertheless, 5 years is a long time to not have s*x with one's spouse. I don't think spouses always need to gear their libido toward their spouse, but if one's spouse is making it clear that they have different needs and it's a big issue, one should at least consider going to a doctor. Also, while I don't normally care about age gaps between adults, there's a significant difference between a 33-year-old dating a 21-year-old and someone who's say 40 dating someone who's 52. A 21-year-old is college-aged. Usually, they don't have the life experience of a 33 year old. They're still learning how jobs, taxes, credit cards, and other things adults deal with on a daily basis work. By 33, most people have a firmer grasp of that. They were at such different life stages, I'm not surprised it didn't work out.
I once talked to my doctor about my low libido. He said "You need to like the guy you sleep with". Since my doctor had met him, he knew!
The amount of people only blaming him is laughable, ignorant people blow my mind.
Sorry, but if you're not happy, leave. Or you talk to your partner about opening the relationship. There's no excuse for cheating, se x is a Want, not a Need. Her excuse is as lame as a husband saying he has "needs" and cheating while his wife is healing from giving birth. It was in No Way his fault, this is completely on her for cheating. If you and your spouse are incompatible, you simply walk away, you don't break your vows
I like how people are trying to justify her cheating by saying "well, he wasn't satisfying her needs!" 🙄
That's just it, it's not a nerd, it's a Want. Oxygen, food, and water are Needs, s ex is not.
Load More Replies...I think both at fault... You should have got checked sooner and she should have raised that no s*x was a problem for her sooner instead of cheating
But she did raise the issue. And he ignored it. Still wrong for cheating, nonetheless, if she didn't want to be with him anymore and/or wanted to have s*x with someone, she should have said so clearly before having s*x with someone else. But probably, as she perceived his lack of interest in resolving the issue as lack of interest in her and their marriage, she feels justified.
Load More Replies...ROFL. Y'all comments and the comments in the original post. "Well it's understandable" holy s**t people, check your toxic masculinity at the door. Swap the genders, whatever you need. What the f**k ever happened to some of y'alls "there's never an excuse" feelings?
Yes there wouldn't have been any "poor guy, it must be so frustrating for him to live in a sexless marriage", he would have been crucified for having an affair and told he should have got a divorce first.
Load More Replies...




















































































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