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Husband Humiliates His Wife In Front Of His Whole Family By Laughing About Her Embarrassing Birth Experience, She Finally Snaps
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Husband Humiliates His Wife In Front Of His Whole Family By Laughing About Her Embarrassing Birth Experience, She Finally Snaps

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Around one-third of women say that giving birth was traumatic for them. The consequences of such psychological trauma can be very deep and extensive, from hopelessness and lack of self-esteem to being at risk for poor physical and mental health. For many of them, having a person who gives unconditional love and care can make this experience much easier.

Sadly, this new mom did not receive the much-needed support and had to listen to her husband tell countless jokes about the birth of their newborn daughter, an experience she described as the most painful and difficult time of her life.

In a sincere post on the AITA subreddit, the 25-year-old woman shared how she had to live through his mocking over something that happened during birth (even after she specifically asked him not to). Yet, the man made a joke about it on New Year’s Eve in front of his whole family and the woman was too angry to hold her tongue. Read on for the full story.

A new mom has released her anger after her husband made fun of something that happened during the traumatic birth of their newborn daughter

Image credits: Parentingupstream (not the actual photo)

Here’s the woman’s full story

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Image credits: No-Care3049

The author ended her post asking people if she overreacted, and turned to the AITA community for advice. The thread quickly went viral, receiving 23.9K upvotes and more than 4.1K comments. The majority of redditors were firmly on her side of the argument. They showed support by saying that her husband’s joke was “cruel and immature” and that he was insensitive for acting this way.

Bored Panda reached out to The Birth Trauma Association (BTA), a charity in the UK that supports women who suffer from traumatic experiences while giving birth. Their representative was kind enough to discuss with us what kind of impact such events have on our emotional well-being and what we can do to recover from it.

According to them, birth trauma is a shorthand term for postnatal post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). For some women the experience of birth is so traumatizing that they develop this condition which is “characterized by flashbacks and nightmares; extreme anxiety and sensitivity towards triggers (e.g. programs about birth); and avoidance of anything that reminds them of the trauma.”

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“At the BTA, we tend to use it a bit more broadly to cover women who might not have a full-blown diagnosis of PTSD but still experience psychological distress,” the spokesperson mentioned.

Too often, such traumatic experiences can be devastating: “Women can become obsessively anxious about their baby, refusing to let anyone hold it, or standing over their baby while it’s asleep to make sure it hasn’t died.” Also, they might find it difficult to bond with their baby and can damage the relationship with their significant other.

“Because the trauma tends to replay obsessively in their head, sufferers tend to become irritable and jumpy and their relationship with their partner can suffer. This is particularly the case if the partner is unsympathetic or tells them to ‘move on’,” they explained.

Fortunately, there are ways to recover. The representative of the BTA told us that there are two very effective treatments: “One is trauma-focused CBT [Cognitive Behavioral Therapy], and the other is eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR). Both are intensive therapies that involve reliving the trauma and require 8-12 sessions with a therapist. But they can be remarkably effective.”

If you feel that you are suffering from birth trauma and it’s keeping you from living a normal life, BTA recommended going to your GP or health visitor to ask for a referral to trauma-focused CBT or EMDR. However, “If you feel you would just like to talk it over with others in the same situation, then do feel free to join our Facebook group or email one of our peer supporters.”

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They added: “Women often find that their close family and friends don’t really understand the impact of trauma, so it can really help to talk to people who understand what you’ve been through.”

“Women often feel guilt, both at having had a traumatic birth and being unable to recover from it,” and having people around telling them to “be grateful that your baby is healthy” can only make things worse.

“Psychological trauma isn’t something you can move on from by an act of self-will,” they continued. “PTSD is caused by the traumatic experience becoming lodged in short-term memory so that you constantly relive it through no fault of your own. Therapy helps to move it into long-term memory where it belongs.”

The representative of the BTA advised you to always seek help if you find yourself in a similar situation. “And if you live with someone who has birth trauma, don’t tell them that they need to get over it. Listen sympathetically and encourage them to have therapy.”

The AITA community were very supportive and rushed to the author’s defense

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carolyngerbrands avatar
Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She Messed up by talking like that in front of his family but he didn’t, SHE went overboard with her reaction but he didn’t, She should address this privately but he didn’t, HE was humilitated not her, she’s petty. She should laugh it off but he didn’t and couldn’t. See a pattern here Pandas???

sergiobicerra_1 avatar
giulia-arrigoni21 avatar
Emmydearest
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pooping during childbirth is absolutely normal and I would even think of laughing in a painful, stressful time like that. Your partner is squeezing a baby out of her body and you laugh for a little accident?! Mmm probably not mature enough to have a baby, IMO. And she had already told him to stop mocking her for that! It's not a good sign, I'm sorry for her. But I wouldn't dare laughing even if it happened on a regular Tuesday, you know... A relative, a friend or a stranger poops/wets themselves and you laugh?! Well, laughing for something embarrassing happened to a person is clearly a sign of immaturity and/or lack of empathy. Unless they laugh about themselves, you should NEVER laugh, just offer help or pretend it didn't happen, that's it.

virgilblue avatar
Virgil Blue
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a single guy with no kids and even I know pooping is pretty normal with childbirth. How could it be different when suddenly a load of pressure is put on the lower abdomen where we hunans also keep our guts.

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katiejohnson_1 avatar
Groundcontroltomajortom
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one is most definitely NTA, no arguing with that one. Giving birth is traumatic enough without having to be reminded of it every day. The loss of dignity can be extremely humiliating. What a douche.

reyale3687 avatar
SofiaReynolds
Community Member
2 years ago

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laurabamber avatar
The Starsong Princess
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He was upset that you humiliated him in front of his family for humiliating you in front of his family. Let him be upset. Also, saying you are over sensitive is the hallmark of a bully.

lisah255 avatar
LH25
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It almost doesn't matter what the "joking" is about. If it's something your spouse has said bothers them, and has asked you not to do it and you do, you are the AH.

patriciaross avatar
tuzdayschild
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly right. You don't get to decide how someone else feels about something.

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keitho avatar
Keith O
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, NTA. Thank god divorce is a thing, you should consider it. How is he going to treat your child when they have "oopsies"? This behavior is stupid, insensitive, and reckless. Does he desperately need to make his family laugh to like him at your expense? He is an asshole and a bully. Drop him and save yourself and the kid years or torment (jokes).

ginmarie avatar
Gin Marie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of the most manipulative things guys do is, "Be an asshole in public, then apologize in private," plus the added gaslighting of, "Cancha take a joke?" Dude, YOU are the joke there, especially with a subject like childbirth. Squeeze a watermelon out your d**k, then you get to talk. HE embarrassed HER in public but SHE can't defend HERSELF IN PUBLIC? Plus, any guy who jokes about childbirth......death wish maybe? You don't joke about s**t that YOU don't experience, especially if it's crude.

ivanilic avatar
Ivan Ilic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce.He is your partner,he is not supposed to make fun of you in front others to collect points.It's maybe extreme but who knows what you can expect from him in future

donotreplytokjk avatar
Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Since the humiliating-in-front-of-the-family score is even, the OP has no reason to apologize.

hmcastilloest2014 avatar
Moezzzz
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oooooo, as a former L&D RN, f**k this guy. We place a biohazard bag under them for this very reason. Birth is gross, nasty, has weird smells and is sometimes chaotic. It's also beautiful, amazing and generally the happiest times in peoples lives. It's a damn shame that THIS is what he chooses to relive and not the miracle of his child being born. Jackass

kyrie24 avatar
ilikeplants
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, came here to say this. I have wipes more butts than I can count. In fact, it's usually a sign that thing are going really well and mom is doing a great job! But NO ONE mentions it, draws attention to it, or jokes about it. That's an asshole move.

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deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel that way too many people are so eager to be married that they are getting married too young. If you are married and still think poop is funny, you might not be ready for children. The husband needs to grow up and realize that he was the one that messed up and not his wife. She went through physical and emotional trauma to bring their child into the world and all he wants to talk about is the fact that she pooped while giving birth. He needs to grow up and get a life.

jarrodkcsteed avatar
Farmboyatheart
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In this case I would advise her to sign up for marriage counseling. If he refuses it's time to divorce. He sounds like a clinical psychopath, not able to care about others emotions, and may become more abusive over time. And yes, what he is doing is abuse.

andrew_joseph_barrett avatar
birdhouse
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do find it amusing how he said you humiliated him in front of his family but that is exactly what he was doing to you.

eekhoorn02 avatar
Anna Snorrepot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

where's the love in this relationship? Just be kind! That's your best mate, right there. Love them.

jean-francoisbrisson avatar
Billy Bob the 4th
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She didn't mess up yelling at him in front of his family; She messed up when she entered a committed relationship with someone with so little tact/ common sense/decency and has nothing going for him so he has to make jokes to make people "laugh" at the expense of his wife, someone who is supposed to be his partner and be able to trust him...

jessicakbutts avatar
Jessica butts
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We don't victim blame. Plenty of abusive men hide their abuse until marriage/baby and then let their real Personalities out. He is the only a*****e.

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hard2guesss avatar
Bender Bending Rodríguez
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am not reading past "I pooped myself". NTA ... it's nothing out of ordinary during labor and your husband should not be talking about something this personal with other family members, close or not. End of discussion. You are NOT THE ASSHOLE and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

antogamunev avatar
Anto Gamunev
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Da foq is wrong with this guy? She just gave birth to his child after 9 months! If a woman goes thru labor to give me a child and she poops herself I would kill ANYONE who made fun of her. Dump this guy ASAP also shame on his family

jeffrequier_1 avatar
Requiem
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He shouldnt be acting immature telling everyone about it as its no one elses business,

natrich avatar
Nat Rich
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They literally tell you to push like you're doing a poo. I was so worried about pooing with my first born i didnt push right and he had to have a forceps delivery which isn't good. Bring on the pooping and safely delivered babies ladies, no shame because you're amazing!

mailboxjudit avatar
Lousha
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my mom was giving birth to her kids 40something years ago it was a must to have an enema before you get to the pushing part. I don't have or want kids so I don't know if this is still a thing in my country but back then it wasn't an optional thing. Mom said it was unpleasant but still better than the alternative. (Not even gonna comment on the actual story since there is no question there...)

rhodaguirreparras avatar
Pittsburgh rare
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When l had my daughter 16 yes ago the enema was the rule. Tbh, knowing l wasn't going to poop myself on top of everything else gave me some peace of mind

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emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait..you mean you embarrassed him in front of his family by calling him a jerk for humiliating you over this? I would have looked him straight in the eye and said "You know that feeling you had after I yelled at you in front of your family...I want you to remember that feeling every time you think of telling that story to everyone. That's how I feel when you do that! So if you don't want me to embarrass you, stop embarrassing me!" You are, by no means, TA in this. Your husband needs to stop being a prick.

rahni avatar
Rannveig Ess
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It strikes me as sad that with the happiness the husband ought to feel about his daughter's birth, the only thing he can think to "share" is that his wife pooped. It's common to do this. It's nothing. Birth is supposed to be a shared, blessed event. I'm betting this isn't the first time ( and won't be the last) that he acts like an immature, callous, out of touch with reality child. It almost seems as if he's removed from the whole situation, and he's ended up with a crass joke to sum it all up. He isn't Mr. Wonderful and life's been perfect, except he keeps saying this one thing. Sigh...

johnkavanagh avatar
john kavanagh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is no question. She did the right thing. Some people have to be told to stop being a**holes in no uncertain terms. Maybe next time hell listen to you. However, if he's trying to ridicule her, she should leave. If it's a case of having a silly sense of humour, then either way, if he isn't getting it, then shove it in his face. Just like she did.

sunshine-aoc avatar
Lemonclouds20
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not the asshole. I'd give you beloved some laxatives for next NYE. Seen as he find your poo hilarious, he'll love s****** himself Infront of people xx

imogenecargeaux avatar
Imogene Cargeaux
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's more common than not to poop while giving birth a child and if any man finds that funny then you're too immature to have children. Grow the F**k up.

sarahjane avatar
Sarah Jane
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like a lot of the "AITA" posts on here lately have been women being treated crappy by their significant others. This lady, the one with the partner who was gaslighting her about eating too much in front of his family, the one whose husband said she had let herself go since having a kid (I think that was an AITA?).......it's depressing.

t_cervenakova avatar
Terka Červeňáková
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It shows how much those partners messed up their so's minds... To the point where they need to seek reasurance from strangers that their reactions were justified... If someone makes you not sure about yourself, it's time to look at the relationship really closely...

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donna_mappa avatar
Donna Mappa
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If this is how he is behaving towards his wife, after birthing his child - he doesn't deserve to have either! And when she finds some self esteem she'll wake up and kick this jackass to the curb!

mailstevenrose avatar
Steven
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What is missing is a more mature person there to pull the sperm donor aside and let him know that he did wrong and should not be joking about it. However perhaps he comes from a family where they will do anything for a joke, even if it humiliates, wounds, injures, hurts another person. Sperm donor deserves a spanking, a talking to, child birth education, preparation for marriage, lesson in respect for one's spouse, and years of maturity. Is forgiveness ever in order for this jerk?

rahni avatar
Rannveig Ess
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apples don't often fall far from the trees. I'd worry my child would grow up to be hurt, mocked, belittled like the wife is, or learn to be a bullying, abused jerk like the husband. How do you teach a baby kindness, self confidence and laughing at mistakes as you learn when you treat their mother like a failure and your birth's best story is "your mom pooped?"

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jppennington avatar
JayWantsACat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Asshole S/O makes shitty joke or comment in front of friends and/or family, gets called out on it, then accuses the person of humiliating them...by basically doing the same thing to them as they did to the person actually being humiliated." This feels like a common theme with these AITA. At least for the ones BO posts. FTR, I've never had kids, never been in a room with someone having a kid, never researched what having a kid is like, etc. and even I know women pooping during child birth isn't uncommon. Does someone about to become a father really have to be told to grow the f**k up? JFC.

andreicaldararu avatar
Andrei Caldararu
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Isn't it a relatively common thing to happen during childbirth? Also, if he found the pooping itself so hilarious, I doubt he's mature enough to get married, let alone raise kids.

bluemom2017 avatar
Pamela Blue
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Personally, instead of screaming at him, I would have just looked at him weirdly, and asked "What are you - six?" That's around the age when toilet humour begins, and it looks like he hasn't grown out of it. Face it, when a woman is pushing with all her might to get that baby out of her birth canal, it is not at all uncommon for her to poop. The pros know it, and they don't react - they just towel it away and keep working on the real issue. I'm afraid she is married to an immature child, and a narcissist to boot. When everything is about him, and her not "respecting" him - then you know you have a real problem. Make sure you don't have any more children, and - RUN!!! Things are only going to get more miserable for you as time goes on.

larisamigachyov avatar
Lara M
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, same here. A raised eyebrow and a look of contempt should have been the reaction here.

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marshafredell avatar
Lovin' Life
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely NTA! This guy is a jerk. Sometimes, well a lot of times, I wish men had to push a baby out of their penis. It's traumatic and painful. Let's see how many of them poop during the process, how much they whine from the pain before during and after the childbirth. I know that all men aren't so insensitive, but to those who are.....

luciana_paunescu avatar
TheHermit
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And such a partner is supposed to love you and be with you through good times and bad times, in sickness and in health?!?!?! If he finds this hilarious I wonder how will he react when he's old and, just maybe, the same thing happens to him?!? Wouldn't he want her, somebody, to stay and care for him no matter what, simply because he is loved?!?!?!!!! I swear by reading about such people I'm becoming more and more convinced that being a hermit is the life for me. Also seriously, the douchebag?!?! Hr will NEVER know what it's like to give birth, to not know what to expect, to be scared shitless like that. I am female and don't know firsthand, never want to find out for myself, but I do know enough from other women to know just how much of a horror show it can be, physically and emotionally. And he sees fit to make fun of that?! Clearly his parents are long dead, or worse yet never took the time to instil some proper human values in this one.

ksarfo avatar
K Sarfo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should start to tell the restaurant story the next few weeks, just to digg it in

amylee3531 avatar
Amy Stone-Chandler
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually..I would bake him an AMAZING dessert, FILL it will laxatives, and lock/block the bathroom doors so he craps himself. He'll Loxk the doors while he's outside! So everyone can see it happen! Yep. That's what I would REALLY DO

lifeartphoto avatar
TheDivineMsM
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This dude sounds extremely immature. I hope he makes a better father than a husband.

daqadoodles_1 avatar
Debbie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally agree with one of the comments above: "...He's humiliated because they know how insensitive he is being to you'.." (Although, from the rest of the text, he doesn't see it as being insensitive.)

jeffrequier_1 avatar
Requiem
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The Drs dont treat you like youre an invalid when it happens and its them your Shitting on.

jessicakbutts avatar
Jessica butts
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Every woman poops during labor, the baby moving down the birth canal literally pushes it out, as the bowels are right behind the vagina. Furthermore, repeatedly bringing that up after she asked him not to is emotional abuse.

shemistressej avatar
Elnora Johnson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would anyone talk about giving birth at a family gathering? Other than the more cursery details, no one wants to hear that detail. This guy should have his mouth duct taped until he is taught, like you would teach a child, what is appropriate conversation and what is not. Duct tape fixes everything!

bubs623 avatar
Beth Arriaga
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First: totally agree with the bowel movement during delivery. Happens more often than not and is actually a sign the mom is pushing correctly. Second: EMDR is an incredible, life saving therapy for PTSD. I was assaulted & almost died, in a coma and on life support, before "miraculously" recovering. I went through years of talk therapy, medication, and substance abuse to try and heal the trauma. Nothing worked. I finally learned of EMDR and was at my wits' end. Literally saved my life. My first session lasted 2 hours and I immediately felt better. My son even said, 'Mama! You're you again!' I continued with the full number of sessions, but that first one was what changed my life. Please, consider EMDR is you have any trauma.

stevensedwards avatar
Hannah Edwards
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My midwife told me pooping was a possibility and not to worry about it. Husband sounds like an insensitive twat and also very immature.

hya40 avatar
Deja Katz
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

nfrlprdpr avatar
Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let’s put him on a cramp simulator for 8 hours and see how well he does. What a jerk

larisamigachyov avatar
Lara M
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah, someone who has no idea how a female body works and who is showing that he is nowhere near mature enough to be married, let alone to be a father? Where did she find this prince? And the family that didn't sharply rebuke him the moment he "joked" about this the very first time?

glenmacleod avatar
Glen MacLeod
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Immature males never apologize when they're insensitive, it's always your fault. You overreacted, your the bad guy and it was "just a joke." If I had a dollar for every time I've heard that....

kathinka avatar
Katinka Min
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It perfectly normal to poop during childbirth!!! I wish pregnant women and their spouses would get informed about it. Why on earth the husband thinks it's ok to keep bringin this up is beyond me. he kept doing it besides her telling him to stop, flipping out over it is an adequate reaction, so is doing it in front of his family. He told the joke to them, he has to live with the consequences.

jdhidaka avatar
Joley Hidaka
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would make him laxative brownies and then tickle him until he shat himself...

dande060912 avatar
April Stephens
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This made my blood boil with fury at the husband. If I go back in my way back machine to those crazy, hormonal, sleep-deprived, newborn days of life upheaval, I remember doing and saying a lot of things that were out of character. But even the difficulty of those days is NOT an excuse to behave so badly!

francesca-eleonora_caplan avatar
Frannie Kaplan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too young to be married and eith a baby. There's a reason why men like that like to prey on them so young. He enjoys humiliating her.

debrarobinson_4 avatar
Debrina Blackmoon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Too young"??? No-are you thinking 35-40?! I'd say 13-16 tbf. But whatever. Many even 16 can get by just fine or even great, and you have no say. Anyone of any age can be mature or not and that doesn't only go for marriage/ having kids, etc.

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dc1 avatar
DC
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The common AITA-storyline. "Humiliating in front of his family", it seems, seems a lot too much for a certain group of relatively young, married males who themselves aren't mature enough to even skip any chance to humiliate one single time. Alright, assuming this to be true - he needs to grow up a little bit. He lacks a lot of maturity. This isn't something you physically cannot avoid laughing about or at, but something he deliberately brings up again and again. Jerk.

jessica-bertram1 avatar
Jessica Bertram
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

they are still getting it wrong though. the target of the joke *also* laughing doesn't make the joke funny. Bullied people put on brave faces ALL THE TIME, and go along with it in the moment for a myriad reasons. What makes a joke funny is, and i think this is crucial, *if the target of the joke ALSO FINDS IT FUNNY*. not whether they are laughing, since that is a behavior that can mask discomfort. Basically, husband is an AH because he doesn't check with wife to see *if she finds it funny*...

amylee3531 avatar
Amy Stone-Chandler
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wish I honestly could hug this mama and slap this father. I wouldn't stay with someone that made such a beautiful event of birthing a child into their own personal "joke" and make nasty comments to me an to others. What a horrible man. I've birthed 2 of my own and been a doula for several others. Only once did I have a partner make nasty comments right after labour(the baby was a still born unfortunately.) He was a jerk and she dumped him not long after. Don't ever let people disrespect you. Don't doubt for a second that this idiot won't be doing the same in front of the child either. First deliveries are hard enough on our body and hormonal ups and downs. Heck, all deliveries are.

altea avatar
Altea
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand all the fuzz about this. This is pretty normal because of the pressure of the baby in the birth canal. Some women don't even notice.

cynthiabonville avatar
Cynthia Bonville
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Woman don't release their bowels sometimes, if you deliver vaginally the head of the fetus takes all the room up in your pelvis - to protect your tissues it is vital that what can be pushed out ahead is. So, really, it is the baby making feces get out of your r****m, and as you know pregnant women are usually constipated so there is always some. Laboring is huge work, your body does things that you really don't have control over. If you want to preserve the relationship give him the benefit of the doubt and ask if he is also traumatized (I know, but... sometimes men are). Or he is overawed by your power, as he should be. But you two can't talk about this and make peace there will be nothing to keep going in the future and you should plan an exit.

david_smojver avatar
Dave
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Another case of one too many red flags ignored, which I am sure was there even before they married. Asshole is an asshole and they cannot hide it.

elly-clifton avatar
Elly Clifton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a regular occurence during childbirth. I told my husband that if it happened during my kids births I never wanted to know about it! I can't believe how immature and insensitive that guy was.

mazlimuhamad avatar
MAZLI MUHAMAD
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The Idiot is in the wrong Girl. You dont have to worry about that. I am truly surprise there are still Idiots like that during this Technical Advance times. Why do i say such, is because he should at least do some reading on dlvry and expect complications. All I can conclude is your Husband is an Ego Asshole. Dont let him dampen your spirit to your new born. Do wat is right. Yes you should speak out, and do not bottle it inside you as will be unhealthy. If you breastfeed your kid, she will sense Mom is not happy as connection is very strong. I am a father of 4 and i know having seen my late wife gone tru dlvry is never the same for all my kids. Respect must be establish which your Hubby does not have and show to you. Tell him your journey is not over yet as woman after giving birth are prone to depression too. Tell him to wake up. Not easy to carry addtl load in your womb for 9 months and at birth every bones in your body crack to make way life to enter into this world.

whitelily256 avatar
Pauline Chia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Attach to him the machine where a husband can literally feel the labour contractions and ask him how be feels, let alone giving birth. Bastards!! I hate inconsiderate husbands who has no empathy or sympathy for what his wife who has to goes thru birth, bringing up a child etc. All they know is just how to f**k! Asshole!!! Next time he humiliates u, throw s**t to his face!

mshaurimazuri avatar
Mshauri Mazuri
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should've said, in a veeeerrry calming manner......."yeahhhh the whole hospital saw me poop while giving birth to your child. I did my best after 9 months and you were laughing til the end of it and making fun of it, keep it up until the day you die. You should have the best husband award." Now let's see who's laughing now. At least she didn't shout. She didn't get angry. As a matter of fact, she praise him for being a very good husband. Bonus points: give him a cake and whisper, "sorry i forgot to wash my hands after i go number two." Plus wink. 😉 Passive aggressive people. Passive aggressive.

tiinabender avatar
Iifa A.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, I would be worried continuing to live with a man like that. Husband or not, I would definitely consider divorce. The man who should be supporting the woman who birthed his child and he just likes to put her down. Wonder what else he has no regard to? I would definitely take my stuff, my child, and ask someone to help to leave. Immature, childish, inconsiderate, sensitive if the tables are reversed. Red flag! He is a bully! I say this as someone who has "oopsies" every month due to unresolved medical issues. My partner of 10+ years has never made poop joke or brought it up, even after helping me poop, or me losing bowels in city. Never once he made a joke, I made a joke of my situation. He didn't. Leave everyone behind who cannot understand and improve. Saying no once is okay, second time you remind you said not funny, and third time is a time to leave. Disrespectful! No regard to your feelings, or female anatomy.

sabrinapandoo avatar
Nina
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Take the child and serve him divorce papers. If he's that much of a f*****g bastard during a vulnerable moment birthing his child, he doesn't deserve either of you. His disgusting family can shove it too. Apply for sole custody and tell them exactly why; god knows what s**t he'd bleed into your child's ear. Any court will happily be on your side.

barbara_skolly avatar
Barbara Skolly
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How did no-one tell them to expect poop? Thats a sign you're pushing correctly. Literally you are instructed to push like you're having the hardest poop of your life. How could he (or she) be surprised that poop came out???? And why did his family not pipe up and say it happened to them too. Side note, i was warning my pregnant cousin about the poop.... her sister-in-law proudly states she didn't poop during childbirth.... her husband promptly corrected her, she didn't even know because the Dr and Nurse did not bat an eye and cleaned it so fast.

lenzopat avatar
Pat Lenzo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In short - nobody thinks it's funny, so it ain't funny! I did the same thing at least once out of 4 babies.

snsaquarius avatar
Stefi Stoyanova
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Personally, I would rip into him in front of his whole family and demand a divorce right on the spot! If he is so immature, insensitive, chauvinistic, and stupid as to humiliate me in front of his family, then he doesn't deserve neither my time nor to see the child he created!

majatadic avatar
Maja Tadic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What this "husband" did is straight up harrassing! His behaviour shows a lot about him as a person. I think she didn't overreacted, not at all. She only should ask for a divorce, because that insensitive POS of her daughter's father will never be good husband, father or in general kind human being. I think, the sooner she get rid of him, the better her life will be. Better to raise your child on your own then with an idiot.

lauraedwards avatar
laura edwards
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First, he needs a shut up button. Second, there will be a time in his life he poops his pants. It happens to everyone. I hope his is embarrassing.

arianamartins avatar
Ariana Martins
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's sad, this kind of love is what most accept, everybody should be with that one that makes YOU the most sacred and cherrished woman and it's true, One life to live. Go find him, go live it

faithhurst-bilinski avatar
Faith Hurst-Bilinski
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish I could tell her to please stop being traumatized by this. It is natural and really common. You can't feel anything except the pressure and pain of the child birth. You are pushing out a human and this is to be expected. There is a reason no one reacted in the delivery room and I'm honestly surprised no one told your husband so during delivery. A small, "It's perfectly natural."

darkopei avatar
And i was like WTF!!
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF!!?? Did you overreact?? You underreacted!! If i am there when my future wife delivers, and that happends and i try to make a joke about that infront of people, first i would dissrespect her, and second she should leave me really

tracymtpdx avatar
TJ Anderson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kinda sounds like his whole family is garbage... Because if that was my son/brother I would have backhanded him for making that joke about his wife.

v_sjoberg avatar
Veronica Sjöberg
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. She gave birth to his child and he jokes around about something she found really hard to deal with - that is a divorce. I would have done the same - he has no respect and that will likely spread to other issues as well. I get mad even reading about this.

julianscherner avatar
Julian Scherner
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This asshole needs someone to beat the living s**t out of him and see how funny that is!

crazycatwoman111 avatar
Cattress511
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kinda feel like anyone else who had a vaginal delivery present when hubby was making jokes is also the a-hole, they should have smacked him upside his head and said it happens to most women, and he should be ashamed for his behavior, since it's something he can control. I think this mom should have taken the keys and baby and left after telling him off. He could publicly grovel and beg for forgiveness on the front lawn before getting inside.

lunavucica avatar
°•King-A•°
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

she didn't get the treatment to not poop? in most of the countries that's part of the procedure so you can avoid the embarrassment. the rest is said by the pandas.

v_sjoberg avatar
Veronica Sjöberg
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They used to do that. They don't anymore if you don't ask for it (if you have time left). You give birth, the least thing you should have to think about is how others feel or see you. They assume adults can handle a natural process (but obviously not this guy. Shame on him, not on her)

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BluEyedSeoulite
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pooping during birth is so common to the point where new moms ask each other if they pooped. Not pooping is the cherry on top of a newborn sundae! I managed not to poop but only because I pooped as soon as labor started. I would also be furious at my husband for making fun of ANYTHING to do with a medical procedure. Yes, poop is funny but if you don't think it is funny yourself, no one else should be bringing it up jokingly, repeatedly! If my husband brought up the time I peed myself while trying to change my 1 week old's diaper while trying to hold it in, I'd laugh. I found it humorous at the time and still do. If I was embarrassed about it, it would be a different story.

benicia_99 avatar
Azure Adams
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She needs to look a divorce lawyer, a real bulldog one too, and remind him of how badly he can be reemed in court for abuse and made to fully support her and the kid financially if he does not knock this off. Also send message to his family how they clearly do not want to be a part of their grandchild's life with this kind of behavior

anja-m-plecas avatar
Anja Mileusnic-Plecas
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

kennyklan avatar
Al Kenny
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like the one where the commenter told her she should have brought up some ED failures on his part and to make it complete with flicking a limp finger gesture! Bet he wouldn't be laughing after that.. :)

nizumi avatar
Nizumi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On a lighter note: everyone thinking about having children should watch at least Season One of Call The Midwife. Quite the eye opener! :)

leighc_ avatar
MyOpinionHasBeenServed
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. It is natural, and some hospitals will keep a woman from eating throughout the whole labour to prevent defecation. Shows you had nutrients and didn't starve your baby just to appease hospital staff. I likely would have reacted far worse, and justly so. You're embarrassed and your hormones are on overdrive. He has no respect for your mental and emotional well-being. Leaves me wondering what other dickhead crap he's doing to you.

ssnx01 avatar
Chich
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been reading several of these AITA stories and have to say that many seem to follow a common story line. Situations change but someone does something, the other embaresses them in front of friends/family. they have a falling out when they leave, one says the other over-reacted,they don't speak... Yeah, I know that's just life and no doubt these situations happen but still.

sergiobicerra_1 avatar
Sergio Bicerra Descalzi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I was the wife, I would not get angry. Just wait... and wait... till the first signs of erectile disfunction are visible, and make a little remark during that christmas gatherin: "Have you been a good boy lately? If not, Santa would not bring your little blue pill"

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Karis Ravenhill
Community Member
2 years ago

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You're both kindof the AH here. Firstly, both of you should have read a book/googled about the basics of childbirth before even having a child, everyone knows women poop during labor. First thing the nurses say to you before wheeling you in the maternity ward is "leave your dignity at the door". Secondly, his comments were insensitive, immature and disrespectful, but at the same time your explosion on him, instead of calmly telling him how much of a stupid child he was being, wasn't necessary. Everyone involved in this story, including the extended family at dinner, has some serious maturing to do.

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Katerina Huskova
Community Member
2 years ago (edited)

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Perfectly matching couple if you ask me 🤷🏻‍♀️ She should have shut him up without yelling. Also what about rest of the family? Why anyone didn't stand up for her? I've experienced few men "joking" about labour, pragnancy brain, post-partum problems, even about kilos women gained...I've never yelled but always shut them up. "How many births have you give?" or "You can do it next time if you think you can do it better". No additional drama needed 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Clare C
Community Member
2 years ago

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He should have stopped when she asked as it was upsetting to her but I'm not sure why she was so upset about it tbh

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Requiem
Community Member
2 years ago

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How the f**k was it traumatic? Shes NEVER EVER talked to any women or even taken a prenatal class? Im a man and have 3 kids and 9 neices and nephews and know everything there is to expect from child birth. I came out with the cord around my neck and blue in the face and while the nurse told my mother she just wanted to clean me up my mother responded with "give me my f*****g baby" as she didnt know if I was going to survive and No it wasnt "traumatic" for either of us, and its still a story she tells to people who first meet me. But of course this generation is all about anxiety and trauma. YES EVERYONE knows you s**t your self if your pushing hard enough to pop a baby out. You know whats actually traumatic? Being made to come into the operating room when your wife is half high from the drugs of being cut open for a c section because your son is almost a month late and you SEE all of her Insides on the outside. I can still see it in my head when I think about it.

asteidl15 avatar
lazy panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are you going to say the same about the husband then? How did HE not know that this would happen? Why did HE continue to joke about something NORMAL that happens during delivery?? Also, don't sit there and criticize her for feeling like it was a traumatic moment. Just because it wasn't a big deal to anyone you know does not mean that everyone has to feel that way.

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Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She Messed up by talking like that in front of his family but he didn’t, SHE went overboard with her reaction but he didn’t, She should address this privately but he didn’t, HE was humilitated not her, she’s petty. She should laugh it off but he didn’t and couldn’t. See a pattern here Pandas???

sergiobicerra_1 avatar
giulia-arrigoni21 avatar
Emmydearest
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pooping during childbirth is absolutely normal and I would even think of laughing in a painful, stressful time like that. Your partner is squeezing a baby out of her body and you laugh for a little accident?! Mmm probably not mature enough to have a baby, IMO. And she had already told him to stop mocking her for that! It's not a good sign, I'm sorry for her. But I wouldn't dare laughing even if it happened on a regular Tuesday, you know... A relative, a friend or a stranger poops/wets themselves and you laugh?! Well, laughing for something embarrassing happened to a person is clearly a sign of immaturity and/or lack of empathy. Unless they laugh about themselves, you should NEVER laugh, just offer help or pretend it didn't happen, that's it.

virgilblue avatar
Virgil Blue
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a single guy with no kids and even I know pooping is pretty normal with childbirth. How could it be different when suddenly a load of pressure is put on the lower abdomen where we hunans also keep our guts.

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Groundcontroltomajortom
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one is most definitely NTA, no arguing with that one. Giving birth is traumatic enough without having to be reminded of it every day. The loss of dignity can be extremely humiliating. What a douche.

reyale3687 avatar
SofiaReynolds
Community Member
2 years ago

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The Starsong Princess
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He was upset that you humiliated him in front of his family for humiliating you in front of his family. Let him be upset. Also, saying you are over sensitive is the hallmark of a bully.

lisah255 avatar
LH25
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It almost doesn't matter what the "joking" is about. If it's something your spouse has said bothers them, and has asked you not to do it and you do, you are the AH.

patriciaross avatar
tuzdayschild
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly right. You don't get to decide how someone else feels about something.

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keitho avatar
Keith O
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, NTA. Thank god divorce is a thing, you should consider it. How is he going to treat your child when they have "oopsies"? This behavior is stupid, insensitive, and reckless. Does he desperately need to make his family laugh to like him at your expense? He is an asshole and a bully. Drop him and save yourself and the kid years or torment (jokes).

ginmarie avatar
Gin Marie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of the most manipulative things guys do is, "Be an asshole in public, then apologize in private," plus the added gaslighting of, "Cancha take a joke?" Dude, YOU are the joke there, especially with a subject like childbirth. Squeeze a watermelon out your d**k, then you get to talk. HE embarrassed HER in public but SHE can't defend HERSELF IN PUBLIC? Plus, any guy who jokes about childbirth......death wish maybe? You don't joke about s**t that YOU don't experience, especially if it's crude.

ivanilic avatar
Ivan Ilic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce.He is your partner,he is not supposed to make fun of you in front others to collect points.It's maybe extreme but who knows what you can expect from him in future

donotreplytokjk avatar
Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Since the humiliating-in-front-of-the-family score is even, the OP has no reason to apologize.

hmcastilloest2014 avatar
Moezzzz
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oooooo, as a former L&D RN, f**k this guy. We place a biohazard bag under them for this very reason. Birth is gross, nasty, has weird smells and is sometimes chaotic. It's also beautiful, amazing and generally the happiest times in peoples lives. It's a damn shame that THIS is what he chooses to relive and not the miracle of his child being born. Jackass

kyrie24 avatar
ilikeplants
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, came here to say this. I have wipes more butts than I can count. In fact, it's usually a sign that thing are going really well and mom is doing a great job! But NO ONE mentions it, draws attention to it, or jokes about it. That's an asshole move.

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deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel that way too many people are so eager to be married that they are getting married too young. If you are married and still think poop is funny, you might not be ready for children. The husband needs to grow up and realize that he was the one that messed up and not his wife. She went through physical and emotional trauma to bring their child into the world and all he wants to talk about is the fact that she pooped while giving birth. He needs to grow up and get a life.

jarrodkcsteed avatar
Farmboyatheart
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In this case I would advise her to sign up for marriage counseling. If he refuses it's time to divorce. He sounds like a clinical psychopath, not able to care about others emotions, and may become more abusive over time. And yes, what he is doing is abuse.

andrew_joseph_barrett avatar
birdhouse
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do find it amusing how he said you humiliated him in front of his family but that is exactly what he was doing to you.

eekhoorn02 avatar
Anna Snorrepot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

where's the love in this relationship? Just be kind! That's your best mate, right there. Love them.

jean-francoisbrisson avatar
Billy Bob the 4th
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She didn't mess up yelling at him in front of his family; She messed up when she entered a committed relationship with someone with so little tact/ common sense/decency and has nothing going for him so he has to make jokes to make people "laugh" at the expense of his wife, someone who is supposed to be his partner and be able to trust him...

jessicakbutts avatar
Jessica butts
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We don't victim blame. Plenty of abusive men hide their abuse until marriage/baby and then let their real Personalities out. He is the only a*****e.

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hard2guesss avatar
Bender Bending Rodríguez
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am not reading past "I pooped myself". NTA ... it's nothing out of ordinary during labor and your husband should not be talking about something this personal with other family members, close or not. End of discussion. You are NOT THE ASSHOLE and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

antogamunev avatar
Anto Gamunev
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Da foq is wrong with this guy? She just gave birth to his child after 9 months! If a woman goes thru labor to give me a child and she poops herself I would kill ANYONE who made fun of her. Dump this guy ASAP also shame on his family

jeffrequier_1 avatar
Requiem
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He shouldnt be acting immature telling everyone about it as its no one elses business,

natrich avatar
Nat Rich
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They literally tell you to push like you're doing a poo. I was so worried about pooing with my first born i didnt push right and he had to have a forceps delivery which isn't good. Bring on the pooping and safely delivered babies ladies, no shame because you're amazing!

mailboxjudit avatar
Lousha
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my mom was giving birth to her kids 40something years ago it was a must to have an enema before you get to the pushing part. I don't have or want kids so I don't know if this is still a thing in my country but back then it wasn't an optional thing. Mom said it was unpleasant but still better than the alternative. (Not even gonna comment on the actual story since there is no question there...)

rhodaguirreparras avatar
Pittsburgh rare
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When l had my daughter 16 yes ago the enema was the rule. Tbh, knowing l wasn't going to poop myself on top of everything else gave me some peace of mind

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emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait..you mean you embarrassed him in front of his family by calling him a jerk for humiliating you over this? I would have looked him straight in the eye and said "You know that feeling you had after I yelled at you in front of your family...I want you to remember that feeling every time you think of telling that story to everyone. That's how I feel when you do that! So if you don't want me to embarrass you, stop embarrassing me!" You are, by no means, TA in this. Your husband needs to stop being a prick.

rahni avatar
Rannveig Ess
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It strikes me as sad that with the happiness the husband ought to feel about his daughter's birth, the only thing he can think to "share" is that his wife pooped. It's common to do this. It's nothing. Birth is supposed to be a shared, blessed event. I'm betting this isn't the first time ( and won't be the last) that he acts like an immature, callous, out of touch with reality child. It almost seems as if he's removed from the whole situation, and he's ended up with a crass joke to sum it all up. He isn't Mr. Wonderful and life's been perfect, except he keeps saying this one thing. Sigh...

johnkavanagh avatar
john kavanagh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is no question. She did the right thing. Some people have to be told to stop being a**holes in no uncertain terms. Maybe next time hell listen to you. However, if he's trying to ridicule her, she should leave. If it's a case of having a silly sense of humour, then either way, if he isn't getting it, then shove it in his face. Just like she did.

sunshine-aoc avatar
Lemonclouds20
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not the asshole. I'd give you beloved some laxatives for next NYE. Seen as he find your poo hilarious, he'll love s****** himself Infront of people xx

imogenecargeaux avatar
Imogene Cargeaux
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's more common than not to poop while giving birth a child and if any man finds that funny then you're too immature to have children. Grow the F**k up.

sarahjane avatar
Sarah Jane
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like a lot of the "AITA" posts on here lately have been women being treated crappy by their significant others. This lady, the one with the partner who was gaslighting her about eating too much in front of his family, the one whose husband said she had let herself go since having a kid (I think that was an AITA?).......it's depressing.

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Terka Červeňáková
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It shows how much those partners messed up their so's minds... To the point where they need to seek reasurance from strangers that their reactions were justified... If someone makes you not sure about yourself, it's time to look at the relationship really closely...

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Donna Mappa
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If this is how he is behaving towards his wife, after birthing his child - he doesn't deserve to have either! And when she finds some self esteem she'll wake up and kick this jackass to the curb!

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Steven
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What is missing is a more mature person there to pull the sperm donor aside and let him know that he did wrong and should not be joking about it. However perhaps he comes from a family where they will do anything for a joke, even if it humiliates, wounds, injures, hurts another person. Sperm donor deserves a spanking, a talking to, child birth education, preparation for marriage, lesson in respect for one's spouse, and years of maturity. Is forgiveness ever in order for this jerk?

rahni avatar
Rannveig Ess
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apples don't often fall far from the trees. I'd worry my child would grow up to be hurt, mocked, belittled like the wife is, or learn to be a bullying, abused jerk like the husband. How do you teach a baby kindness, self confidence and laughing at mistakes as you learn when you treat their mother like a failure and your birth's best story is "your mom pooped?"

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JayWantsACat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Asshole S/O makes shitty joke or comment in front of friends and/or family, gets called out on it, then accuses the person of humiliating them...by basically doing the same thing to them as they did to the person actually being humiliated." This feels like a common theme with these AITA. At least for the ones BO posts. FTR, I've never had kids, never been in a room with someone having a kid, never researched what having a kid is like, etc. and even I know women pooping during child birth isn't uncommon. Does someone about to become a father really have to be told to grow the f**k up? JFC.

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Andrei Caldararu
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Isn't it a relatively common thing to happen during childbirth? Also, if he found the pooping itself so hilarious, I doubt he's mature enough to get married, let alone raise kids.

bluemom2017 avatar
Pamela Blue
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Personally, instead of screaming at him, I would have just looked at him weirdly, and asked "What are you - six?" That's around the age when toilet humour begins, and it looks like he hasn't grown out of it. Face it, when a woman is pushing with all her might to get that baby out of her birth canal, it is not at all uncommon for her to poop. The pros know it, and they don't react - they just towel it away and keep working on the real issue. I'm afraid she is married to an immature child, and a narcissist to boot. When everything is about him, and her not "respecting" him - then you know you have a real problem. Make sure you don't have any more children, and - RUN!!! Things are only going to get more miserable for you as time goes on.

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Lara M
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, same here. A raised eyebrow and a look of contempt should have been the reaction here.

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Lovin' Life
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely NTA! This guy is a jerk. Sometimes, well a lot of times, I wish men had to push a baby out of their penis. It's traumatic and painful. Let's see how many of them poop during the process, how much they whine from the pain before during and after the childbirth. I know that all men aren't so insensitive, but to those who are.....

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TheHermit
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And such a partner is supposed to love you and be with you through good times and bad times, in sickness and in health?!?!?! If he finds this hilarious I wonder how will he react when he's old and, just maybe, the same thing happens to him?!? Wouldn't he want her, somebody, to stay and care for him no matter what, simply because he is loved?!?!?!!!! I swear by reading about such people I'm becoming more and more convinced that being a hermit is the life for me. Also seriously, the douchebag?!?! Hr will NEVER know what it's like to give birth, to not know what to expect, to be scared shitless like that. I am female and don't know firsthand, never want to find out for myself, but I do know enough from other women to know just how much of a horror show it can be, physically and emotionally. And he sees fit to make fun of that?! Clearly his parents are long dead, or worse yet never took the time to instil some proper human values in this one.

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K Sarfo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should start to tell the restaurant story the next few weeks, just to digg it in

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Amy Stone-Chandler
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually..I would bake him an AMAZING dessert, FILL it will laxatives, and lock/block the bathroom doors so he craps himself. He'll Loxk the doors while he's outside! So everyone can see it happen! Yep. That's what I would REALLY DO

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TheDivineMsM
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This dude sounds extremely immature. I hope he makes a better father than a husband.

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Debbie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally agree with one of the comments above: "...He's humiliated because they know how insensitive he is being to you'.." (Although, from the rest of the text, he doesn't see it as being insensitive.)

jeffrequier_1 avatar
Requiem
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The Drs dont treat you like youre an invalid when it happens and its them your Shitting on.

jessicakbutts avatar
Jessica butts
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Every woman poops during labor, the baby moving down the birth canal literally pushes it out, as the bowels are right behind the vagina. Furthermore, repeatedly bringing that up after she asked him not to is emotional abuse.

shemistressej avatar
Elnora Johnson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would anyone talk about giving birth at a family gathering? Other than the more cursery details, no one wants to hear that detail. This guy should have his mouth duct taped until he is taught, like you would teach a child, what is appropriate conversation and what is not. Duct tape fixes everything!

bubs623 avatar
Beth Arriaga
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First: totally agree with the bowel movement during delivery. Happens more often than not and is actually a sign the mom is pushing correctly. Second: EMDR is an incredible, life saving therapy for PTSD. I was assaulted & almost died, in a coma and on life support, before "miraculously" recovering. I went through years of talk therapy, medication, and substance abuse to try and heal the trauma. Nothing worked. I finally learned of EMDR and was at my wits' end. Literally saved my life. My first session lasted 2 hours and I immediately felt better. My son even said, 'Mama! You're you again!' I continued with the full number of sessions, but that first one was what changed my life. Please, consider EMDR is you have any trauma.

stevensedwards avatar
Hannah Edwards
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My midwife told me pooping was a possibility and not to worry about it. Husband sounds like an insensitive twat and also very immature.

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Deja Katz
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let’s put him on a cramp simulator for 8 hours and see how well he does. What a jerk

larisamigachyov avatar
Lara M
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah, someone who has no idea how a female body works and who is showing that he is nowhere near mature enough to be married, let alone to be a father? Where did she find this prince? And the family that didn't sharply rebuke him the moment he "joked" about this the very first time?

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Glen MacLeod
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Immature males never apologize when they're insensitive, it's always your fault. You overreacted, your the bad guy and it was "just a joke." If I had a dollar for every time I've heard that....

kathinka avatar
Katinka Min
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It perfectly normal to poop during childbirth!!! I wish pregnant women and their spouses would get informed about it. Why on earth the husband thinks it's ok to keep bringin this up is beyond me. he kept doing it besides her telling him to stop, flipping out over it is an adequate reaction, so is doing it in front of his family. He told the joke to them, he has to live with the consequences.

jdhidaka avatar
Joley Hidaka
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would make him laxative brownies and then tickle him until he shat himself...

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April Stephens
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This made my blood boil with fury at the husband. If I go back in my way back machine to those crazy, hormonal, sleep-deprived, newborn days of life upheaval, I remember doing and saying a lot of things that were out of character. But even the difficulty of those days is NOT an excuse to behave so badly!

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Frannie Kaplan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too young to be married and eith a baby. There's a reason why men like that like to prey on them so young. He enjoys humiliating her.

debrarobinson_4 avatar
Debrina Blackmoon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Too young"??? No-are you thinking 35-40?! I'd say 13-16 tbf. But whatever. Many even 16 can get by just fine or even great, and you have no say. Anyone of any age can be mature or not and that doesn't only go for marriage/ having kids, etc.

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dc1 avatar
DC
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The common AITA-storyline. "Humiliating in front of his family", it seems, seems a lot too much for a certain group of relatively young, married males who themselves aren't mature enough to even skip any chance to humiliate one single time. Alright, assuming this to be true - he needs to grow up a little bit. He lacks a lot of maturity. This isn't something you physically cannot avoid laughing about or at, but something he deliberately brings up again and again. Jerk.

jessica-bertram1 avatar
Jessica Bertram
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

they are still getting it wrong though. the target of the joke *also* laughing doesn't make the joke funny. Bullied people put on brave faces ALL THE TIME, and go along with it in the moment for a myriad reasons. What makes a joke funny is, and i think this is crucial, *if the target of the joke ALSO FINDS IT FUNNY*. not whether they are laughing, since that is a behavior that can mask discomfort. Basically, husband is an AH because he doesn't check with wife to see *if she finds it funny*...

amylee3531 avatar
Amy Stone-Chandler
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wish I honestly could hug this mama and slap this father. I wouldn't stay with someone that made such a beautiful event of birthing a child into their own personal "joke" and make nasty comments to me an to others. What a horrible man. I've birthed 2 of my own and been a doula for several others. Only once did I have a partner make nasty comments right after labour(the baby was a still born unfortunately.) He was a jerk and she dumped him not long after. Don't ever let people disrespect you. Don't doubt for a second that this idiot won't be doing the same in front of the child either. First deliveries are hard enough on our body and hormonal ups and downs. Heck, all deliveries are.

altea avatar
Altea
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand all the fuzz about this. This is pretty normal because of the pressure of the baby in the birth canal. Some women don't even notice.

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Cynthia Bonville
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Woman don't release their bowels sometimes, if you deliver vaginally the head of the fetus takes all the room up in your pelvis - to protect your tissues it is vital that what can be pushed out ahead is. So, really, it is the baby making feces get out of your r****m, and as you know pregnant women are usually constipated so there is always some. Laboring is huge work, your body does things that you really don't have control over. If you want to preserve the relationship give him the benefit of the doubt and ask if he is also traumatized (I know, but... sometimes men are). Or he is overawed by your power, as he should be. But you two can't talk about this and make peace there will be nothing to keep going in the future and you should plan an exit.

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Dave
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Another case of one too many red flags ignored, which I am sure was there even before they married. Asshole is an asshole and they cannot hide it.

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Elly Clifton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a regular occurence during childbirth. I told my husband that if it happened during my kids births I never wanted to know about it! I can't believe how immature and insensitive that guy was.

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MAZLI MUHAMAD
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The Idiot is in the wrong Girl. You dont have to worry about that. I am truly surprise there are still Idiots like that during this Technical Advance times. Why do i say such, is because he should at least do some reading on dlvry and expect complications. All I can conclude is your Husband is an Ego Asshole. Dont let him dampen your spirit to your new born. Do wat is right. Yes you should speak out, and do not bottle it inside you as will be unhealthy. If you breastfeed your kid, she will sense Mom is not happy as connection is very strong. I am a father of 4 and i know having seen my late wife gone tru dlvry is never the same for all my kids. Respect must be establish which your Hubby does not have and show to you. Tell him your journey is not over yet as woman after giving birth are prone to depression too. Tell him to wake up. Not easy to carry addtl load in your womb for 9 months and at birth every bones in your body crack to make way life to enter into this world.

whitelily256 avatar
Pauline Chia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Attach to him the machine where a husband can literally feel the labour contractions and ask him how be feels, let alone giving birth. Bastards!! I hate inconsiderate husbands who has no empathy or sympathy for what his wife who has to goes thru birth, bringing up a child etc. All they know is just how to f**k! Asshole!!! Next time he humiliates u, throw s**t to his face!

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Mshauri Mazuri
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should've said, in a veeeerrry calming manner......."yeahhhh the whole hospital saw me poop while giving birth to your child. I did my best after 9 months and you were laughing til the end of it and making fun of it, keep it up until the day you die. You should have the best husband award." Now let's see who's laughing now. At least she didn't shout. She didn't get angry. As a matter of fact, she praise him for being a very good husband. Bonus points: give him a cake and whisper, "sorry i forgot to wash my hands after i go number two." Plus wink. 😉 Passive aggressive people. Passive aggressive.

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Iifa A.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, I would be worried continuing to live with a man like that. Husband or not, I would definitely consider divorce. The man who should be supporting the woman who birthed his child and he just likes to put her down. Wonder what else he has no regard to? I would definitely take my stuff, my child, and ask someone to help to leave. Immature, childish, inconsiderate, sensitive if the tables are reversed. Red flag! He is a bully! I say this as someone who has "oopsies" every month due to unresolved medical issues. My partner of 10+ years has never made poop joke or brought it up, even after helping me poop, or me losing bowels in city. Never once he made a joke, I made a joke of my situation. He didn't. Leave everyone behind who cannot understand and improve. Saying no once is okay, second time you remind you said not funny, and third time is a time to leave. Disrespectful! No regard to your feelings, or female anatomy.

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Nina
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Take the child and serve him divorce papers. If he's that much of a f*****g bastard during a vulnerable moment birthing his child, he doesn't deserve either of you. His disgusting family can shove it too. Apply for sole custody and tell them exactly why; god knows what s**t he'd bleed into your child's ear. Any court will happily be on your side.

barbara_skolly avatar
Barbara Skolly
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How did no-one tell them to expect poop? Thats a sign you're pushing correctly. Literally you are instructed to push like you're having the hardest poop of your life. How could he (or she) be surprised that poop came out???? And why did his family not pipe up and say it happened to them too. Side note, i was warning my pregnant cousin about the poop.... her sister-in-law proudly states she didn't poop during childbirth.... her husband promptly corrected her, she didn't even know because the Dr and Nurse did not bat an eye and cleaned it so fast.

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Pat Lenzo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In short - nobody thinks it's funny, so it ain't funny! I did the same thing at least once out of 4 babies.

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Stefi Stoyanova
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Personally, I would rip into him in front of his whole family and demand a divorce right on the spot! If he is so immature, insensitive, chauvinistic, and stupid as to humiliate me in front of his family, then he doesn't deserve neither my time nor to see the child he created!

majatadic avatar
Maja Tadic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What this "husband" did is straight up harrassing! His behaviour shows a lot about him as a person. I think she didn't overreacted, not at all. She only should ask for a divorce, because that insensitive POS of her daughter's father will never be good husband, father or in general kind human being. I think, the sooner she get rid of him, the better her life will be. Better to raise your child on your own then with an idiot.

lauraedwards avatar
laura edwards
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First, he needs a shut up button. Second, there will be a time in his life he poops his pants. It happens to everyone. I hope his is embarrassing.

arianamartins avatar
Ariana Martins
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's sad, this kind of love is what most accept, everybody should be with that one that makes YOU the most sacred and cherrished woman and it's true, One life to live. Go find him, go live it

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Faith Hurst-Bilinski
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish I could tell her to please stop being traumatized by this. It is natural and really common. You can't feel anything except the pressure and pain of the child birth. You are pushing out a human and this is to be expected. There is a reason no one reacted in the delivery room and I'm honestly surprised no one told your husband so during delivery. A small, "It's perfectly natural."

darkopei avatar
And i was like WTF!!
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF!!?? Did you overreact?? You underreacted!! If i am there when my future wife delivers, and that happends and i try to make a joke about that infront of people, first i would dissrespect her, and second she should leave me really

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TJ Anderson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kinda sounds like his whole family is garbage... Because if that was my son/brother I would have backhanded him for making that joke about his wife.

v_sjoberg avatar
Veronica Sjöberg
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. She gave birth to his child and he jokes around about something she found really hard to deal with - that is a divorce. I would have done the same - he has no respect and that will likely spread to other issues as well. I get mad even reading about this.

julianscherner avatar
Julian Scherner
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This asshole needs someone to beat the living s**t out of him and see how funny that is!

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Cattress511
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kinda feel like anyone else who had a vaginal delivery present when hubby was making jokes is also the a-hole, they should have smacked him upside his head and said it happens to most women, and he should be ashamed for his behavior, since it's something he can control. I think this mom should have taken the keys and baby and left after telling him off. He could publicly grovel and beg for forgiveness on the front lawn before getting inside.

lunavucica avatar
°•King-A•°
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

she didn't get the treatment to not poop? in most of the countries that's part of the procedure so you can avoid the embarrassment. the rest is said by the pandas.

v_sjoberg avatar
Veronica Sjöberg
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They used to do that. They don't anymore if you don't ask for it (if you have time left). You give birth, the least thing you should have to think about is how others feel or see you. They assume adults can handle a natural process (but obviously not this guy. Shame on him, not on her)

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BluEyedSeoulite
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pooping during birth is so common to the point where new moms ask each other if they pooped. Not pooping is the cherry on top of a newborn sundae! I managed not to poop but only because I pooped as soon as labor started. I would also be furious at my husband for making fun of ANYTHING to do with a medical procedure. Yes, poop is funny but if you don't think it is funny yourself, no one else should be bringing it up jokingly, repeatedly! If my husband brought up the time I peed myself while trying to change my 1 week old's diaper while trying to hold it in, I'd laugh. I found it humorous at the time and still do. If I was embarrassed about it, it would be a different story.

benicia_99 avatar
Azure Adams
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She needs to look a divorce lawyer, a real bulldog one too, and remind him of how badly he can be reemed in court for abuse and made to fully support her and the kid financially if he does not knock this off. Also send message to his family how they clearly do not want to be a part of their grandchild's life with this kind of behavior

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Anja Mileusnic-Plecas
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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Al Kenny
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like the one where the commenter told her she should have brought up some ED failures on his part and to make it complete with flicking a limp finger gesture! Bet he wouldn't be laughing after that.. :)

nizumi avatar
Nizumi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On a lighter note: everyone thinking about having children should watch at least Season One of Call The Midwife. Quite the eye opener! :)

leighc_ avatar
MyOpinionHasBeenServed
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. It is natural, and some hospitals will keep a woman from eating throughout the whole labour to prevent defecation. Shows you had nutrients and didn't starve your baby just to appease hospital staff. I likely would have reacted far worse, and justly so. You're embarrassed and your hormones are on overdrive. He has no respect for your mental and emotional well-being. Leaves me wondering what other dickhead crap he's doing to you.

ssnx01 avatar
Chich
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been reading several of these AITA stories and have to say that many seem to follow a common story line. Situations change but someone does something, the other embaresses them in front of friends/family. they have a falling out when they leave, one says the other over-reacted,they don't speak... Yeah, I know that's just life and no doubt these situations happen but still.

sergiobicerra_1 avatar
Sergio Bicerra Descalzi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I was the wife, I would not get angry. Just wait... and wait... till the first signs of erectile disfunction are visible, and make a little remark during that christmas gatherin: "Have you been a good boy lately? If not, Santa would not bring your little blue pill"

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Karis Ravenhill
Community Member
2 years ago

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You're both kindof the AH here. Firstly, both of you should have read a book/googled about the basics of childbirth before even having a child, everyone knows women poop during labor. First thing the nurses say to you before wheeling you in the maternity ward is "leave your dignity at the door". Secondly, his comments were insensitive, immature and disrespectful, but at the same time your explosion on him, instead of calmly telling him how much of a stupid child he was being, wasn't necessary. Everyone involved in this story, including the extended family at dinner, has some serious maturing to do.

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Katerina Huskova
Community Member
2 years ago (edited)

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Perfectly matching couple if you ask me 🤷🏻‍♀️ She should have shut him up without yelling. Also what about rest of the family? Why anyone didn't stand up for her? I've experienced few men "joking" about labour, pragnancy brain, post-partum problems, even about kilos women gained...I've never yelled but always shut them up. "How many births have you give?" or "You can do it next time if you think you can do it better". No additional drama needed 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Clare C
Community Member
2 years ago

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He should have stopped when she asked as it was upsetting to her but I'm not sure why she was so upset about it tbh

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Requiem
Community Member
2 years ago

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How the f**k was it traumatic? Shes NEVER EVER talked to any women or even taken a prenatal class? Im a man and have 3 kids and 9 neices and nephews and know everything there is to expect from child birth. I came out with the cord around my neck and blue in the face and while the nurse told my mother she just wanted to clean me up my mother responded with "give me my f*****g baby" as she didnt know if I was going to survive and No it wasnt "traumatic" for either of us, and its still a story she tells to people who first meet me. But of course this generation is all about anxiety and trauma. YES EVERYONE knows you s**t your self if your pushing hard enough to pop a baby out. You know whats actually traumatic? Being made to come into the operating room when your wife is half high from the drugs of being cut open for a c section because your son is almost a month late and you SEE all of her Insides on the outside. I can still see it in my head when I think about it.

asteidl15 avatar
lazy panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are you going to say the same about the husband then? How did HE not know that this would happen? Why did HE continue to joke about something NORMAL that happens during delivery?? Also, don't sit there and criticize her for feeling like it was a traumatic moment. Just because it wasn't a big deal to anyone you know does not mean that everyone has to feel that way.

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