Mom Is Embarrassed After Nanny Quits Because She “Couldn’t Be Around My Husband Another Day”
Recently, a first-time mom of 6-month-old twins who goes by the handle DearRiver4425 asked for advice on the r/Nanny community. In a post, she shared how their babies’ nanny began acting weird and couldn’t wait to leave, although everything went fine in the beginning.
“I didn’t exactly blame her, she’s caring for infant twins. I’m often excited to go to work so I can get a break from them,” the author explained but added that there must have been some bigger reason.
One Friday night, when her husband and nanny were both at home, the woman witnessed a little incident. “Oh, I think (son) has a poopy diaper. Nanny is still here, it’s her job, just let her do it,” he casually said to his wife.
This left the author appalled and it soon became clear it wasn’t the first time her husband had ordered the nanny around. Let’s see how this story evolved and be sure to share your advice in the comments.
Mom found out her husband has been secretly giving their babies’ nanny extra work, forcing her to the brink of quitting
Image credits: pvandermaesen0 (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Engin_Akyurt (not the actual photo)
The author also clarified a couple of details about the whole situation
Mom later came back with an unfortunate update about the nanny
With a second update, the author broke out yet more news about why the nanny felt so uncomfortable being around her husband
In the last edit, the author noted that some things that happened in this situation she is keeping private
Image credits: DearRiver4425
Many people had a lot to say about this whole situation
The only reason this woman wants to keep things “vague”: because her self entitled dirt bag sleaze of a husband is hitting on the nanny. I read the original post and replies. This woman intimated that the “jokes” Mr Sleaze made we’re of a sexual nature. She should be divorcing the sleaze
I really would like to know what tasks her husband wanted the nanny to do that were going beyond cleaning and nannying and were making her so uncomfortable to the point of not wanting to stay a single day longer... Was he hitting on her?!
that’s probably why she wanted to ‘keep it vague’ tbh
Load More Replies...
Good nannies are hard to find. Get rid of the husband. He sounds like a creep to me.
Very vague on the comments husband made and the "extra" duties he wanted performed. Seems to me he was hitting on the nanny and that's why she won't come back, and also why she recommends daycare over putting another nanny thru that.
A nanny is not a servant or slave. ANY employee, in any setting is not a servant or slave. DB was acting like the master of the house, ordering the nanny around and assuming she needed to work constantly—-including changing shitty diapers, which entails way more than just diaper off-diaper on (best case scenario a baby wipe would suffice, worst case scenario is the kid would need a bath)—-all the way up to quitting time, when BOTH parents were already home. And I agree with MiriPanda that he was likely being highly inappropriate as well. Even if he wasn’t actually hitting on her or cornering her and making her uncomfortable, if he did something like calling her his other wife, that would be intensely uncomfortable, as it would carry connotations of her eventually being required to perform other “wifely duties”. DB sounds like a creep who’s been on his good behavior around his wife—-who maybe makes way more money than he does, so he’d want to mind his Ps and Qs with her to keep his cushy life—-while an employee would be fair game for his creepiness. OP might want to secretly install hidden cameras when he’s not around, just to monitor his activities while home alone with the new nanny. I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him anymore.
Right? My girls are only a year apart so I specifically chose our nanny because she raised twin girls who are incredible young women now. She was an amazing nanny and I always told her if there was anything that she was unhappy about working for us, to please let us know. We had to beg her to take breaks!! She would clean, do laundry, etc. That wasn't at all part of her job, but I made sure she was compensated extra for it.. She stayed with us until my girls didn't need childcare any longer. I get the feeling that the husband was maybe not being overtly sexual with her, but definitely said things that were way out of line. I think this nanny wanted out before it became a real situation. When I used to babysit as a teen, a lot of the times, the dad would drive me home and there were a few times they made inappropriate comments to me (a 14 year old at the time!) and I made a point to never sit for them again.
Load More Replies...
Did she divorce the husband? I get a feeling his inappropriate behavior was likely creepy in nature.
The update to this story was not posted here. The husband was sexually harassing the nanny. Wife has filed for divorce.
I had that feeling and I was so hoping that the wife wasn't one of those types that would defend his behavior. I'm glad she didn't.
Load More Replies...
If the tasks were of a creepy nature (nd I get this vibe)) like “give me a massage”, then Op should be thinking about ending her marriage.
I once quit a nanny job because the husband worked from home and he creeped me out. He'd follow me around and just watch me while I was taking care of the baby. I'm not sure if he thought I was going to smother his child or he was a pervert. Either way, I walked out one day and never went back.
Creepy only begins to describe this guy. How bout adding lazy, opportunistic, manipulative, & inconsiderate...He would be in mortal fear of me if I handled this. OP obviously suspects there's a sexual component here or she wouldn't of asked for so many meetings w/ the nanny. I smell divorce papers..
Are you sure there’s not more to the story about not wanting to be around the husband? A Secretary I hired to work for my husband quit after 2 weeks “because of his foul language” in the office. She spoke to the Vice President and not me. I found out a few years later that he was coming onto her and her husband went to the office to get her and made threats against my then husband. We divorced before I learned the truth. Are you sure there’s nothing like this going on?
Any nanny will be unsafe with that husband. And later on any female friends to the kids. Look at the marinara flag and see if the nanny can consider staying if you throw the garbage out.
If the husband has time to hit on the nanny while “working” he clearly he has time to take care of his kids. Dump the husband, keep the nanny.
It sounds like your husband treated nanny like a servant. “Shakin it here boss”
I too had to quit a job because the father was a narcissist. My was one of the best moms I’ve worked for in 38 yrs as a nanny. But when is enough enough? My only suggestion is dad work outside of the home.
This is literally why I quit caring for people's children when I was younger...You think this guy was bad? I can tell you that, without exception, EVERY woman of the house expected me to be their personal handyman and chef. Ask any male who's ventured into the profession, bet they'll tell you the same thing.
A lot of people cannot handle having employees, and it's easy to slide into thinking paying for the person's work is the same as paying for the person, and things get weird from there. The employer being present in the house all day makes for a really stressful, strange dynamic as well, especially because it's obvious he was meddling in her work and monitoring her tasks. Ever-present, overly-proprietary husband, with a focused view on nanny and getting her to do what she wants, plus the nanny fleeing immediately after saying not to hire another one = he thought he could sleep with the nanny or (at best) was looking for a domestic slave personal assistant to use and abuse.
Ok someone else referred to mother as MB. Wtf does that mean damnit?
Load More Replies...
Yeah is he making sexual innuendos? If so get rid of him and keep the nanny.
I know I'll be downvoted to hell, because BoredPanda does not tell people NOT to downvote differing opinions instead of downvoting spam. But, I just want to know... why you would have children if you require a full time Nanny? What is the point of having children if you have to pay someone else to look after them full-time? I'm sorry but I just don't get it. Someone else is raising your children so they become the true parent? I just do not get it. It costs a fortune and someone else raises your children? Why have the children if you cannot be the primary care-giver? At 8 weeks you can't look after them yourself? Why, the F, even have them?
Who is paying the bills of the parents are home raising their twins? Why do I get the feeling YOU would not raise twins while your wife went off to work? Women (gasp!) want meaningful careers just as much as men do.
Load More Replies...
The only reason this woman wants to keep things “vague”: because her self entitled dirt bag sleaze of a husband is hitting on the nanny. I read the original post and replies. This woman intimated that the “jokes” Mr Sleaze made we’re of a sexual nature. She should be divorcing the sleaze
I really would like to know what tasks her husband wanted the nanny to do that were going beyond cleaning and nannying and were making her so uncomfortable to the point of not wanting to stay a single day longer... Was he hitting on her?!
that’s probably why she wanted to ‘keep it vague’ tbh
Load More Replies... Good nannies are hard to find. Get rid of the husband. He sounds like a creep to me.
Very vague on the comments husband made and the "extra" duties he wanted performed. Seems to me he was hitting on the nanny and that's why she won't come back, and also why she recommends daycare over putting another nanny thru that.
A nanny is not a servant or slave. ANY employee, in any setting is not a servant or slave. DB was acting like the master of the house, ordering the nanny around and assuming she needed to work constantly—-including changing shitty diapers, which entails way more than just diaper off-diaper on (best case scenario a baby wipe would suffice, worst case scenario is the kid would need a bath)—-all the way up to quitting time, when BOTH parents were already home. And I agree with MiriPanda that he was likely being highly inappropriate as well. Even if he wasn’t actually hitting on her or cornering her and making her uncomfortable, if he did something like calling her his other wife, that would be intensely uncomfortable, as it would carry connotations of her eventually being required to perform other “wifely duties”. DB sounds like a creep who’s been on his good behavior around his wife—-who maybe makes way more money than he does, so he’d want to mind his Ps and Qs with her to keep his cushy life—-while an employee would be fair game for his creepiness. OP might want to secretly install hidden cameras when he’s not around, just to monitor his activities while home alone with the new nanny. I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him anymore.
Right? My girls are only a year apart so I specifically chose our nanny because she raised twin girls who are incredible young women now. She was an amazing nanny and I always told her if there was anything that she was unhappy about working for us, to please let us know. We had to beg her to take breaks!! She would clean, do laundry, etc. That wasn't at all part of her job, but I made sure she was compensated extra for it.. She stayed with us until my girls didn't need childcare any longer. I get the feeling that the husband was maybe not being overtly sexual with her, but definitely said things that were way out of line. I think this nanny wanted out before it became a real situation. When I used to babysit as a teen, a lot of the times, the dad would drive me home and there were a few times they made inappropriate comments to me (a 14 year old at the time!) and I made a point to never sit for them again.
Load More Replies... Did she divorce the husband? I get a feeling his inappropriate behavior was likely creepy in nature.
The update to this story was not posted here. The husband was sexually harassing the nanny. Wife has filed for divorce.
I had that feeling and I was so hoping that the wife wasn't one of those types that would defend his behavior. I'm glad she didn't.
Load More Replies... If the tasks were of a creepy nature (nd I get this vibe)) like “give me a massage”, then Op should be thinking about ending her marriage.
I once quit a nanny job because the husband worked from home and he creeped me out. He'd follow me around and just watch me while I was taking care of the baby. I'm not sure if he thought I was going to smother his child or he was a pervert. Either way, I walked out one day and never went back.
Creepy only begins to describe this guy. How bout adding lazy, opportunistic, manipulative, & inconsiderate...He would be in mortal fear of me if I handled this. OP obviously suspects there's a sexual component here or she wouldn't of asked for so many meetings w/ the nanny. I smell divorce papers..
Are you sure there’s not more to the story about not wanting to be around the husband? A Secretary I hired to work for my husband quit after 2 weeks “because of his foul language” in the office. She spoke to the Vice President and not me. I found out a few years later that he was coming onto her and her husband went to the office to get her and made threats against my then husband. We divorced before I learned the truth. Are you sure there’s nothing like this going on?
Any nanny will be unsafe with that husband. And later on any female friends to the kids. Look at the marinara flag and see if the nanny can consider staying if you throw the garbage out.
If the husband has time to hit on the nanny while “working” he clearly he has time to take care of his kids. Dump the husband, keep the nanny.
It sounds like your husband treated nanny like a servant. “Shakin it here boss”
I too had to quit a job because the father was a narcissist. My was one of the best moms I’ve worked for in 38 yrs as a nanny. But when is enough enough? My only suggestion is dad work outside of the home.
This is literally why I quit caring for people's children when I was younger...You think this guy was bad? I can tell you that, without exception, EVERY woman of the house expected me to be their personal handyman and chef. Ask any male who's ventured into the profession, bet they'll tell you the same thing.
A lot of people cannot handle having employees, and it's easy to slide into thinking paying for the person's work is the same as paying for the person, and things get weird from there. The employer being present in the house all day makes for a really stressful, strange dynamic as well, especially because it's obvious he was meddling in her work and monitoring her tasks. Ever-present, overly-proprietary husband, with a focused view on nanny and getting her to do what she wants, plus the nanny fleeing immediately after saying not to hire another one = he thought he could sleep with the nanny or (at best) was looking for a domestic slave personal assistant to use and abuse.
Ok someone else referred to mother as MB. Wtf does that mean damnit?
Load More Replies... Yeah is he making sexual innuendos? If so get rid of him and keep the nanny.
I know I'll be downvoted to hell, because BoredPanda does not tell people NOT to downvote differing opinions instead of downvoting spam. But, I just want to know... why you would have children if you require a full time Nanny? What is the point of having children if you have to pay someone else to look after them full-time? I'm sorry but I just don't get it. Someone else is raising your children so they become the true parent? I just do not get it. It costs a fortune and someone else raises your children? Why have the children if you cannot be the primary care-giver? At 8 weeks you can't look after them yourself? Why, the F, even have them?
Who is paying the bills of the parents are home raising their twins? Why do I get the feeling YOU would not raise twins while your wife went off to work? Women (gasp!) want meaningful careers just as much as men do.
Load More Replies...
88
58