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“I Literally Left Work Right Then And Went Home”: Wife Goes Ballistic On 16-Months Jobless Husband And His Buddies Who Commandeered The Family Pool
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“I Literally Left Work Right Then And Went Home”: Wife Goes Ballistic On 16-Months Jobless Husband And His Buddies Who Commandeered The Family Pool

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Nobody likes a slacker. Even more so, nobody likes a slacker and his annoying friends.

And yet even more than that, nobody likes a slacker and his friends hogging the family pool so that the kids can’t play in it.

… and, even more-more so, nobody likes it when he promises he’ll let them play, but never delivers on the promise.

Do you see what his wife has to deal with?

More Info: Reddit

Having a pool is great, but having a pool that’s always taken by dad and his buddies is… well, anything but that

Image source: Eden, Janine and Jim (not the actual photo)

A wife and a mother of 2, nicknamed u/Ambers666, has recently visited the r/AITA community for some perspective on an issue she’s been having.

You see, she is the sole income earner in the family. This is so because her husband hasn’t had a job in 16 months now and has been struggling to find one. Yes, even OP is rolling her eyes at that one. This in turn has made her the sole buyer of stuff in the household.

But summer is approaching, and she knows the kids will want to enjoy it. Because of work, she won’t be able to take the kids to the beach, and the husband won’t be of any help here either because he would only do it if he had the car, but OP needs it for work.

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Wife of said dad has taken the issue to the internet, asking if she is actually wrong to have kicked him and his buddies out

Image source: Ambers666

So, instead of having this entire headache, she decided to get their family pool renovated and upgraded so that the kids could use it. The ideal solution to an otherwise logistical nightmare, right?

Wrong. As soon as the money was spent and the pool was fixed up, her husband started organizing low-key pool parties with his buddies. They would come over and use it for hours, effectively not letting anyone else use it. Not even the kids.

In turn, the kids complained about being denied pool services on more than one occasion. So, the mother had to intervene. However, said intervention did not go well with the hubby. He flipped out.

The dad had promised he’d let the kids play, but still kept hogging all the pool space, and the kids called mom

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Image source: Ambers666

He kept saying that it’s his house and his water too, and she can’t control what he does or who he brings. This made OP even more furious with him, but she did not back away. Instead, she put her foot down and said that the kids were going to get some pool time, or else he and his buddies could kiss the pool good-bye.

“FINE! THEY CAN HAVE THE DAMN POOL TOMORROW!” quoth the husband.

Well, the next day, OP’s daughter called her, crying. She explained that dad brought his friends over and, surprise, surprise, was doing that thing he’d been doing all the time. You know—being the pool mooch.

OP also provided some brief clarifications in post edit form

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Image source: Ambers666

Image source: Joe Shlabotnik (not the actual photo)

At this point, OP was absolutely livid. So much so that she left in the middle of workday to go home and rip the husband and his buddies a new one. And as soon as she got home, all hell broke loose. She screamed, he blew up, the end result was his friends had to leave.

She was upset that he ignored her request to let the kids play in the pool. And he was upset she came over there, guns blazing, thinking she could manipulate him with her money and scream at his friends. He bolted to start calling all of them individually and apologizing on her behalf.

In subsequent edits, OP clarified that [1] she paid for the pool herself, [2] there is no understating just how long the friends would regularly stay there (which is always ALWAYS), and [3] none of these grown men clean up after themselves, so OP is often the one to do it. Which, at the very minimum, is totally unfair.

And folks online had absolutely no doubts that she has the right to be as furious with her husband as she needs to be.

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But folks were having none of the dad’s shenanigans and said OP is not the bad guy here

Some thought that perhaps it’s a good thing he ended up leaving the house and not returning for an undetermined period of time. Others had a problem with him not having a job and seemingly not even trying to at this point. This is besides him being a crummy dad.

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There was more, but you can check it all out in context here. Or check out our other Am I Being Unreasonable? articles here. But not without sharing your thoughts, opinions and other forms of personal conviction in the comment section down under!

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skidog911 avatar
Kusotare
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're not the mother of two. You're the mother of three. It's time to kick the eldest out of the nest (change the locks) and make him fly on his own.

lisah255 avatar
LH25
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is way beyond who paid for what. Even if the husband had paid for the renovation, the lack of caring for his kids is staggering.

kayrose avatar
RoanTheMad
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now that he's left the house and hasn't come back... change the locks. Quickly. And send some divorce papers to his mummy for him to sign <3 Since you're the one that works/probably pays most the stuff for the house whilst you're third child (aka, your "husband") sits on his a*s (I doubt he's tried that hard to actually find a job since he seems more interested in being a man child) , chances are you'd get the house in the divorce settlement.

generally_happy avatar
similarly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Man, I was just writing the exact same advice, and happened to look down and saw your post. 100% agree. The way this guy is acting towards his wife and kids is abusive. This person and their children would be so much better off without him.

Load More Replies...
the_true_opifex avatar
Katie Lutesinger
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What an unbelievably selfish a.s.s! And his friends sound like complete douchebags as well - what, not one of them ever said anything like "hey, bro, why don't we make some room for the kids"? Yeah, this is clearly a case of "grown man who never grew past the mental age of fifteen". And that's an insult to kind, thoughtful fifteen year olds everywhere.

contact_63 avatar
Diane Barth
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine struggled to find a job for 16 months, too. Then it became 24 months, then 48 months, and when it became 132 months I divorced him. Suddenly, when he was forced to support himself… he had a job within two weeks. Meanwhile I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER.

pauljellema avatar
Poeha
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just put one on bread w cheese for 2 weeks. He got hungry and had a job within 2 weeks. Couldn't and refused to pay all those loads he ate. I had to take care of 3 kids. He got mad when I bought em a balloon. I have to eat normal!! Then work normal.

Load More Replies...
bobbygoodson avatar
Bobby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been out of work for a few months now, so yo a minimal degree i get dad here. I honestly had tacobell turn me down recently. The flip side to it is my wife, luckily, at the same time found a job that's a travel position. Doing the same thing she is now but she leaves Monday afternoon and gets home Thursday morning. Is actually fewer work days than previously and pays 3 times as much. Her old job already accounted for about 2/3 our combined income. We decided that having a stay at home parent was the best choice for us for now, as it helps the kids deal with an unfamiliar situation and saves my mental health from rejectionafter rejection. I decided stay at home parent means I do 99% of the adult chores. The only thing I ask her to do is maintain her craft room, cause I'm not tackling that beast

tamrastiffler avatar
Tamra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like you two have found a situation that works for you. It's hard getting rejected from jobs, but brother, being a stay at home parent is a job and a half! Best of luck to you all.

Load More Replies...
kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1) It would be one thing if the husband and his friends sat by the pool to monitor the kids while they were playing in it. Like 3 sets of eyes are better than 1. But that’s not the case here. 2) The misogynistic pal who stole car parts from your car reminds me of a boyfriend I once had. His car needed a new battery, so instead of buying one, he took MY new battery out of MY car while I was at work—-in the parking lot where I worked, the bold MF—-and swapped it for his shitty dying battery. Didn’t tell me he’d done it either. Of course, I started to have trouble starting my car any time it had been sitting for hours. Took it to several mechanics, and had a few parts of the electrical system replaced—-unnecessarily, of course, until the last mechanic thought to check the battery and told me it was about to die. I told him that’s impossible because it’s new. He checked the expiration on it, and told me it was an old battery, then showed it to me. I could see very clearly that the cells were either empty or almost. That confirmed my already growing suspicion that my boyfriend had done the switch and left me with a dying battery. Since I had replaced the battery on my own, I knew how to remove and replace car batteries. So, unbeknownst to him, I took my new battery back and put his old one in his car. Then I broke up with him before he had a chance to drive his car—-this wasn’t the only issue, but it was the straw the broke the camel’s back and I was done. He packed his stuff and left, probably congratulating himself for at least getting away with the battery switch, which would be a kind of revenge for him. Then I watched as he got in his car and tried to get the engine to turn over. I saw it slowly dawn on him that what he thought was his revenge on me was mine on him. He was just lucky I didn’t switch things around to make him blow his car’s entire electrical system, which I had considered doing, but decided it was too OTT. I was so happy to see the back of him. A*****e.

ivanakramaric avatar
Ivana Bašić
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's not working (struggling only to look like he's looking for a job), neglecting his kids and the house, and living his best teen years with buddies just like him? Divorce time.

gclayton025 avatar
olx
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

he acted like a child, so she treated him like one

bludragonfly63 avatar
Mika N
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he was really actively looking for a job and things were just bad in his field right now, but doing a lot to take care of the house and kids while OP is away I would definitely feel it's not right to "use income against him" and act like things in the house aren't his till he's contributing financially (same as I'd feel about a stay at home mom or mom between jobs, if the spouse at home contributes their time to the household the income is for both/the family) but it doesn't sound that way. If his friends are over that constantly to just hang around in the pool (and making a mess which the husband doesn't clean up??) it kind of does just sound like he's mooching and being immature at this point.

phantasteek avatar
ChickyChicky
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lawyer up real good, because this guy will try and take everything from you, including alimony.

7000305 avatar
1.21Gigawatts?!
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP missed a bit of the trash when the friends left. Throw the husband out honey.

abrinrvc avatar
Anita Rapp
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And none of his buddies work either? That's some crew he has.

nikkisevven avatar
Nikki Sevven
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Your husband is behaving like a child and ignoring his responsibilities. If you're paying for everything and doing the housework, why do you need him? You're paying for a deadbeat.

lesburleson avatar
Leslie Burleson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah gas lighting 101. You're just horrible because you won't be his mother and take care of his friends as well.

pauljellema avatar
Poeha
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder if it's the dad or just a guy who faked that he liked her kids.

juliechute avatar
Hoodoo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP, your spouse clearly has zero regard for you- he's more concerned w/ his mates than his family, he's happy to sponge off o you indefinitely, & conducts himself like a snotty schoolgirl when he hasn't had his way. He's not going to be a husband or father any time soon. Save yourself & your children this abject dysfunction by ending this relationship

vpwitter avatar
Valerie Witter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA Why doesn’t he want to play in the pool with his kids? If he’s not working or looking for a job it would be the perfect time for building a special relationship with them that he couldn’t if he had a job. And why are his friends not working either???

graceandlucy avatar
Grace and Lucy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a man-child. Hates responsibility/accountability no matter what the form. He may never change so think about moving on.

veronicasjberg avatar
Tigerpacingthecage
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't care who paid for what. They are married and even though you could question why it would take 16 months to find another job that's a separate thing. They choose to be in that together as long as they stay together (sidenote; this mindset would be different in abusive relationships). What's bothering me is that a father only prioritize his own needs instead of his wife and ESPECIALLY kids. It's YOUR kids. They shouldn't have to call mom at work to help fighting their battles against their DAD. You are the parent - deal with it. If he did he would realize that he can't just take away what is supposed to be for the kids. He's acting like a gigantic manbaby and I think the wife should be considering leaving the marriage.

amberfreeman_1 avatar
Amber.exe (She/They)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He is a horrible guy,he doesn't have a job and priorities his friends over his own children. Change the locks,make him find his own way maybe then he'll actually see some sense

breannecoish avatar
Breezy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, just trash the whole the husband. What do you really need him for anyways, your basically doing everything by yourself, and he seems to be causing extra stress instead of helping...that is NOT a partner. Also, he just sounds like a complete asshat of a human being and you deserve much, much, more than that!

johntopper avatar
John Topper
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely NTA. It's time to call a divorce lawyer. This guy is just trash and not worth any more of your time.

madmcqueen avatar
Mad McQueen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like you need to divorce and tell Him go be a kid at his parents because they didn't finish raising him to adulthood. And also he needs to get a job and the kids need a sitter so they can enjoy being kids. So he's not watching them? They could burn the house down while he's being a bro in the pool. That's enough none sense.

jaybird3939 avatar
Jaybird3939
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Obviously his deadbeat friends don't have jobs, and aren't looking for one either. He's just bumming off of you so he can spend his days with his buds, ignoring his kids, and treating you like his mother, to pay for his lifestyle. He's not a father or a husband, he must be just another kid you have to take care of.

lindahaney avatar
Exotic Butters
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am so sorry that you have to be a mother to husband. And not just a mom, but a scolding mom. It's not supposed to be this way.

brettlayton avatar
Brett Layton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sorta feel like if you need advice from strangers on the internet youre not going to force anythign to change on your own. You know what to do here you dont need us to reaffirm it.

praecordia avatar
Alma Muminovic
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’d kick your husband out. 16 months of struggling to find a job?! If it take’s that long to find a job then your just not looking. Not to mention not letting the kids use the pool like it’s his. Wtf? What an AH!

kathinka avatar
Katinka Min
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What kind of fatasses are forbidding children to play IN THE FAMILY POOL? And what kind of a dead-beat father is that husband? It doesn't matter who paid for the upgrade - a family account is a family account - but for the love fo God, if you are a grown man you do not hang out at your buddies pool so much that his kids can't use it. POS people.

mbradleyluthy4872 avatar
Marsha Bradley-Luthy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think I act like a lutic in front of your friends because you won't get off your dead a*s and go to work. Since I am paying for that damn pool you and your friends can stay out of it until you contribute to the coast. Lack of consideration of you and the kids tell him to pack and go live with his mother. Which I am not. Pick up your own s**t. See how much fun you have with you and your buddies at your moms house, or the street.

televe9967 avatar
televe9967
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Six months ago I lost my job and after that I was fortunate enough to stumble upon a great website which literally saved me. I started working for them online and in a short time after I've started averaging 15k a month... The best thing was that cause I am not that computer savvy all I needed was some basic typing skills and internet access to start. Copy Here→→→→→ https://desalary.com/

pogigwapo avatar
Pogi Gwapo
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Come on, there are millions of men with useless wives. This barely tips the scale.

skidog911 avatar
Kusotare
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're not the mother of two. You're the mother of three. It's time to kick the eldest out of the nest (change the locks) and make him fly on his own.

lisah255 avatar
LH25
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is way beyond who paid for what. Even if the husband had paid for the renovation, the lack of caring for his kids is staggering.

kayrose avatar
RoanTheMad
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now that he's left the house and hasn't come back... change the locks. Quickly. And send some divorce papers to his mummy for him to sign <3 Since you're the one that works/probably pays most the stuff for the house whilst you're third child (aka, your "husband") sits on his a*s (I doubt he's tried that hard to actually find a job since he seems more interested in being a man child) , chances are you'd get the house in the divorce settlement.

generally_happy avatar
similarly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Man, I was just writing the exact same advice, and happened to look down and saw your post. 100% agree. The way this guy is acting towards his wife and kids is abusive. This person and their children would be so much better off without him.

Load More Replies...
the_true_opifex avatar
Katie Lutesinger
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What an unbelievably selfish a.s.s! And his friends sound like complete douchebags as well - what, not one of them ever said anything like "hey, bro, why don't we make some room for the kids"? Yeah, this is clearly a case of "grown man who never grew past the mental age of fifteen". And that's an insult to kind, thoughtful fifteen year olds everywhere.

contact_63 avatar
Diane Barth
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine struggled to find a job for 16 months, too. Then it became 24 months, then 48 months, and when it became 132 months I divorced him. Suddenly, when he was forced to support himself… he had a job within two weeks. Meanwhile I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER.

pauljellema avatar
Poeha
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just put one on bread w cheese for 2 weeks. He got hungry and had a job within 2 weeks. Couldn't and refused to pay all those loads he ate. I had to take care of 3 kids. He got mad when I bought em a balloon. I have to eat normal!! Then work normal.

Load More Replies...
bobbygoodson avatar
Bobby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been out of work for a few months now, so yo a minimal degree i get dad here. I honestly had tacobell turn me down recently. The flip side to it is my wife, luckily, at the same time found a job that's a travel position. Doing the same thing she is now but she leaves Monday afternoon and gets home Thursday morning. Is actually fewer work days than previously and pays 3 times as much. Her old job already accounted for about 2/3 our combined income. We decided that having a stay at home parent was the best choice for us for now, as it helps the kids deal with an unfamiliar situation and saves my mental health from rejectionafter rejection. I decided stay at home parent means I do 99% of the adult chores. The only thing I ask her to do is maintain her craft room, cause I'm not tackling that beast

tamrastiffler avatar
Tamra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like you two have found a situation that works for you. It's hard getting rejected from jobs, but brother, being a stay at home parent is a job and a half! Best of luck to you all.

Load More Replies...
kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1) It would be one thing if the husband and his friends sat by the pool to monitor the kids while they were playing in it. Like 3 sets of eyes are better than 1. But that’s not the case here. 2) The misogynistic pal who stole car parts from your car reminds me of a boyfriend I once had. His car needed a new battery, so instead of buying one, he took MY new battery out of MY car while I was at work—-in the parking lot where I worked, the bold MF—-and swapped it for his shitty dying battery. Didn’t tell me he’d done it either. Of course, I started to have trouble starting my car any time it had been sitting for hours. Took it to several mechanics, and had a few parts of the electrical system replaced—-unnecessarily, of course, until the last mechanic thought to check the battery and told me it was about to die. I told him that’s impossible because it’s new. He checked the expiration on it, and told me it was an old battery, then showed it to me. I could see very clearly that the cells were either empty or almost. That confirmed my already growing suspicion that my boyfriend had done the switch and left me with a dying battery. Since I had replaced the battery on my own, I knew how to remove and replace car batteries. So, unbeknownst to him, I took my new battery back and put his old one in his car. Then I broke up with him before he had a chance to drive his car—-this wasn’t the only issue, but it was the straw the broke the camel’s back and I was done. He packed his stuff and left, probably congratulating himself for at least getting away with the battery switch, which would be a kind of revenge for him. Then I watched as he got in his car and tried to get the engine to turn over. I saw it slowly dawn on him that what he thought was his revenge on me was mine on him. He was just lucky I didn’t switch things around to make him blow his car’s entire electrical system, which I had considered doing, but decided it was too OTT. I was so happy to see the back of him. A*****e.

ivanakramaric avatar
Ivana Bašić
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's not working (struggling only to look like he's looking for a job), neglecting his kids and the house, and living his best teen years with buddies just like him? Divorce time.

gclayton025 avatar
olx
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

he acted like a child, so she treated him like one

bludragonfly63 avatar
Mika N
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he was really actively looking for a job and things were just bad in his field right now, but doing a lot to take care of the house and kids while OP is away I would definitely feel it's not right to "use income against him" and act like things in the house aren't his till he's contributing financially (same as I'd feel about a stay at home mom or mom between jobs, if the spouse at home contributes their time to the household the income is for both/the family) but it doesn't sound that way. If his friends are over that constantly to just hang around in the pool (and making a mess which the husband doesn't clean up??) it kind of does just sound like he's mooching and being immature at this point.

phantasteek avatar
ChickyChicky
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lawyer up real good, because this guy will try and take everything from you, including alimony.

7000305 avatar
1.21Gigawatts?!
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP missed a bit of the trash when the friends left. Throw the husband out honey.

abrinrvc avatar
Anita Rapp
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And none of his buddies work either? That's some crew he has.

nikkisevven avatar
Nikki Sevven
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Your husband is behaving like a child and ignoring his responsibilities. If you're paying for everything and doing the housework, why do you need him? You're paying for a deadbeat.

lesburleson avatar
Leslie Burleson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah gas lighting 101. You're just horrible because you won't be his mother and take care of his friends as well.

pauljellema avatar
Poeha
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder if it's the dad or just a guy who faked that he liked her kids.

juliechute avatar
Hoodoo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP, your spouse clearly has zero regard for you- he's more concerned w/ his mates than his family, he's happy to sponge off o you indefinitely, & conducts himself like a snotty schoolgirl when he hasn't had his way. He's not going to be a husband or father any time soon. Save yourself & your children this abject dysfunction by ending this relationship

vpwitter avatar
Valerie Witter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA Why doesn’t he want to play in the pool with his kids? If he’s not working or looking for a job it would be the perfect time for building a special relationship with them that he couldn’t if he had a job. And why are his friends not working either???

graceandlucy avatar
Grace and Lucy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a man-child. Hates responsibility/accountability no matter what the form. He may never change so think about moving on.

veronicasjberg avatar
Tigerpacingthecage
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't care who paid for what. They are married and even though you could question why it would take 16 months to find another job that's a separate thing. They choose to be in that together as long as they stay together (sidenote; this mindset would be different in abusive relationships). What's bothering me is that a father only prioritize his own needs instead of his wife and ESPECIALLY kids. It's YOUR kids. They shouldn't have to call mom at work to help fighting their battles against their DAD. You are the parent - deal with it. If he did he would realize that he can't just take away what is supposed to be for the kids. He's acting like a gigantic manbaby and I think the wife should be considering leaving the marriage.

amberfreeman_1 avatar
Amber.exe (She/They)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He is a horrible guy,he doesn't have a job and priorities his friends over his own children. Change the locks,make him find his own way maybe then he'll actually see some sense

breannecoish avatar
Breezy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, just trash the whole the husband. What do you really need him for anyways, your basically doing everything by yourself, and he seems to be causing extra stress instead of helping...that is NOT a partner. Also, he just sounds like a complete asshat of a human being and you deserve much, much, more than that!

johntopper avatar
John Topper
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely NTA. It's time to call a divorce lawyer. This guy is just trash and not worth any more of your time.

madmcqueen avatar
Mad McQueen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like you need to divorce and tell Him go be a kid at his parents because they didn't finish raising him to adulthood. And also he needs to get a job and the kids need a sitter so they can enjoy being kids. So he's not watching them? They could burn the house down while he's being a bro in the pool. That's enough none sense.

jaybird3939 avatar
Jaybird3939
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Obviously his deadbeat friends don't have jobs, and aren't looking for one either. He's just bumming off of you so he can spend his days with his buds, ignoring his kids, and treating you like his mother, to pay for his lifestyle. He's not a father or a husband, he must be just another kid you have to take care of.

lindahaney avatar
Exotic Butters
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am so sorry that you have to be a mother to husband. And not just a mom, but a scolding mom. It's not supposed to be this way.

brettlayton avatar
Brett Layton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sorta feel like if you need advice from strangers on the internet youre not going to force anythign to change on your own. You know what to do here you dont need us to reaffirm it.

praecordia avatar
Alma Muminovic
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’d kick your husband out. 16 months of struggling to find a job?! If it take’s that long to find a job then your just not looking. Not to mention not letting the kids use the pool like it’s his. Wtf? What an AH!

kathinka avatar
Katinka Min
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What kind of fatasses are forbidding children to play IN THE FAMILY POOL? And what kind of a dead-beat father is that husband? It doesn't matter who paid for the upgrade - a family account is a family account - but for the love fo God, if you are a grown man you do not hang out at your buddies pool so much that his kids can't use it. POS people.

mbradleyluthy4872 avatar
Marsha Bradley-Luthy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think I act like a lutic in front of your friends because you won't get off your dead a*s and go to work. Since I am paying for that damn pool you and your friends can stay out of it until you contribute to the coast. Lack of consideration of you and the kids tell him to pack and go live with his mother. Which I am not. Pick up your own s**t. See how much fun you have with you and your buddies at your moms house, or the street.

televe9967 avatar
televe9967
Community Member
1 year ago

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Six months ago I lost my job and after that I was fortunate enough to stumble upon a great website which literally saved me. I started working for them online and in a short time after I've started averaging 15k a month... The best thing was that cause I am not that computer savvy all I needed was some basic typing skills and internet access to start. Copy Here→→→→→ https://desalary.com/

pogigwapo avatar
Pogi Gwapo
Community Member
1 year ago

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Come on, there are millions of men with useless wives. This barely tips the scale.

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