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Surrogate Mom Complains About Future Dad Overstepping Her Boundaries, Guy Doesn’t Listen And Gets Her A $9K Car, Family Drama Ensues
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Surrogate Mom Complains About Future Dad Overstepping Her Boundaries, Guy Doesn’t Listen And Gets Her A $9K Car, Family Drama Ensues

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While I do end up repeating this one thing over and over again—that socializing is practically rocket science and we as humans are destined to goof up—some things in being social are harder to pick up on.

Avoiding saying dumb stuff or reading a person’s non-verbal cues are hard, but still some of the easier ones compared to things like respecting boundaries. It’s because they are inherently invisible until you learn more about the person. And we’re all different in that regard.

But while that is the case, it’s certainly no excuse to do whatever the hell you want and pretend you can’t help it. You can, especially if you’re told about it.

This one woman approached this topic in her recent Am I The A-Hole post, asking if she was wrong to confront her husband about overly showering their surrogate with attention and gifts, one of which is a $9,000 car he bought her without consulting the Mrs.

More Info: Reddit

Pregnancies are hard as they are without the guy taking things too far and buying a $9k car for his surrogate

Image credits: rawpixel

A 34-year-old wife and her 37-year-old husband introduced as Hunter have been going through some fertility issues, which led them to getting a surrogate to birth their baby.

For the most part, everything was all fine and dandy and everyone was keeping to their word. But, the husband has started acting somewhat strange in the wife’s eyes.

He started focusing a lot of his attention on the surrogate. So much, in fact, that he started skipping work to visit her, getting things for her that she never asked for, chatting with her online, and relentlessly offering stuff.

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The wife of said guy went to Reddit to find out if she was right to get furious with her husband who kept overstepping every boundary their surrogate had

Image credits: Throwawayhunter37

It became such a problem that she complained to the wife about it. She didn’t even know much of this was happening until she heard it from the surrogate.

So, the wife confronted the husband about it. He said that he’s doing this for their son, not her. All fine and dandy, but still, she asked him to stop taking it to an extreme degree. He got furious, accusing the wife of being jealous of the woman that’s carrying their child because it makes her look bad.

Despite explaining that the surrogate was the one who complained about it herself, the husband refused to believe that was the case. Until another, more serious incident happened.

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The husband, however, didn’t see the problem, and explained he was just doing it for their son

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Image credits: Throwawayhunter37

The surrogate called the wife again, saying that Hunter came over to her place, requested that guests leave, and then proceeded to show her the $9,000 car he bought for her. Apparently, this purchase was not blessed by the Mrs, and that made things much more dramatic.

Fuming, the wife called him and demanded he returned home. He did… “eventually”. And then she commenced a verbal butt-whoopin’, explaining how he’s been overstepping, disrespectful, and inappropriate towards the surrogate, and demanded he stop. This is all besides the car.

This led to a rant by him, and an accusation that the wife didn’t love their son enough, and then a storming out of the house and a refusal to speak. Because of this, the wife started wondering if she wasn’t too harsh with him, prompting the AITA post.

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But it all culminated when he bought the surrogate a $9,000 car—something she didn’t ask for—without consulting the Missus

Image credits: Throwawayhunter37

Speaking of which, it hit the internet and went viral instantly. As of this article, it has nearly 20,000 upvotes and a handful of Reddit awards. And the overall consensus here was that she was not a jerk.

For the most part, people thought that his actions were a certain kind of disturbing—to a degree that it has become an obsession that’s damaging everyone involved. Some suggested counseling, or at the very least everyone getting together and figuring this out.

Folks online were unanimous in saying that the wife was right here, pointing out how disturbing the whole situation is

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Others had suspicions of him having a crush on the surrogate. That, or just calling the husband flat-out creepy because of his exaggerated actions.

You can check out the AITA post in its original form, or go reach other AITA posts we’ve covered right here on Bored Panda. But not before you tell us your thoughts on this in the comment section below!

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jmchoto avatar
Jo Choto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have to think that he has shown signs of mental struggles or inappropriate behaviour before now. Nobody starts at that level of wrong.

njscrutton avatar
OhForSmegSake
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe, maybe not. I have known 3 men- 2 were friend's partners and one was my own friend- who all changed into abusive control freaks when their partners became pregnant. It seemed as though this was a side of their personality was dormant or well hidden until the woman was "trapped" with a baby on the way. One even used the phrase "You're carrying my kid, I own you both forever"

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joereaves avatar
Joe Reaves
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think one of the comments here has it spot on. Her language suggests she has been dealing with his behaviour for so long she doesn't even realise it's not normal. He has no respect for either woman and is probably used to the wife caving to his wishes to keep the peace (the way she refers to confronting him about anything as 'picking a fight' suggests he's got her convinced that daring to disagree with him makes the ensuing argument entirely her fault).

jettewangwahnon avatar
Jette Wang Wahnon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lots of good and sound advice....I cannot add anything new....I would though have a good think about the husband...is he the sort of person you want to be married to?

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jmchoto avatar
Jo Choto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have to think that he has shown signs of mental struggles or inappropriate behaviour before now. Nobody starts at that level of wrong.

njscrutton avatar
OhForSmegSake
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe, maybe not. I have known 3 men- 2 were friend's partners and one was my own friend- who all changed into abusive control freaks when their partners became pregnant. It seemed as though this was a side of their personality was dormant or well hidden until the woman was "trapped" with a baby on the way. One even used the phrase "You're carrying my kid, I own you both forever"

Load More Replies...
joereaves avatar
Joe Reaves
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think one of the comments here has it spot on. Her language suggests she has been dealing with his behaviour for so long she doesn't even realise it's not normal. He has no respect for either woman and is probably used to the wife caving to his wishes to keep the peace (the way she refers to confronting him about anything as 'picking a fight' suggests he's got her convinced that daring to disagree with him makes the ensuing argument entirely her fault).

jettewangwahnon avatar
Jette Wang Wahnon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lots of good and sound advice....I cannot add anything new....I would though have a good think about the husband...is he the sort of person you want to be married to?

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