Man Wants A Personal Invitation To Christmas At In-Laws, Gets Himself And His Wife Uninvited And Tries To Put The Blame On Her
The holiday season can be full of light, beauty, and warmth, and ought to be spent with your loved ones. However, one of the worst things that can happen during this time is getting into a major argument with your family and friends. Unfortunately, it happens all the time.
And the trigger for a family fight can be something as small as a Christmas party invitation. Or rather, the lack of one, as redditor u/Lukeproblem135 shared in her viral post on the AITA subreddit. She explained how her husband felt insulted that her parents didn’t send him a separate invitation to their Xmas celebration.
The situation got very intense which was why the woman turned to Reddit for some advice on who was wrong and what they might do next. You’ll find the full story below. What do you think about everything that happened, Pandas? How would you have solved the issue? Share your thoughts in the comments.
Bored Panda reached out to u/Lukeproblem135 via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
Even small, seemingly insignificant details can grow into huge family arguments
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
A woman shared how her husband got angry that his in-laws didn’t send him a separate invitation to their Xmas celebration
Image credits: Julia Larson (not the actual photo)
She explained that the invitation wasn’t a physical one. It was sent via text message
The situation escalated after the woman’s parents had had enough
Image credits: Lukeproblem135
The author of the post, redditor u/Lukeproblem135, shared an update a little bit after her post went viral. She explained that her parents had finally disinvited both of them after the argument escalated.
What’s more, she stressed the fact that the party invitation was sent via text message. Her husband, Luke, wanted a separate text from her parents. According to the OP, he didn’t want to be seen as an extension of his wife. However, all of this animosity between him and his in-laws led to a result that pretty much nobody wanted: celebrating the holidays separately.
Most arguments and disagreements between people stem from a lack of clear boundaries. For instance, one person might be too timid to establish boundaries on what is and isn’t acceptable behavior. On the flip side, the other individual might not be aware of the fact they’re encroaching on someone’s personal space. Or they’re so used to dominating any and all conversations and interactions that their go-to approach is to establish their presence.
Whatever the reality might be (and a lot really depends on each individual situation), there’s nothing like a healthy dollop of honest but friendly communication to set the score. Nobody’s a mind-reader. Not even your in-laws, believe it or not. You can’t expect someone to automatically know that how they behave might irk you. Especially if you’re good at being polite, or at least pretending to be.
Don’t forget that despite the age difference, everyone’s an adult in these situations. A quick word about how you’d appreciate it if they didn’t talk a certain way to you or avoided doing something might save you a whirlwind of drama in the future. And it beats being passive-aggressive with your in-laws for years and years, until everything peaks in a major argument for the ages.
It’s much better to have a short but thoroughly awkward conversation and move on with your life. Who knows, you might even become friends.
Another piece of advice that you might want to consider following is getting on the same page as your partner, in terms of your in-laws. You’ve got to play as a team, otherwise, your relationship might suffer.
“A united front makes a huge difference. You do not want to be figuring things out on the fly with your spouse while in the cross hairs of your in-laws. If you and your spouse are on the same page, then you can take the path of least resistance with in-laws and just smile politely and say ‘sure,’ but then do things the way that you and your spouse believe is appropriate for your relationship,” Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a psychologist who specializes in relationships, told NBC News.
And if all else fails, and you feel like the holiday season is just falling apart into pieces, consider throwing out a few compliments to your in-laws.
“Complimenting a person is like defusing a bomb, or at least changing the thermostat. It may feel disingenuous, but anyone can find one nice thing to say about someone. Even if the in-laws are gunning for a fight, you can snip those wires,” Dr. Durvasula explained.
This is how the internet reacted to the woman’s story. People were very honest about how they felt
This is a brand new story - only been up for 22hrs. In all honesty, I'm more worried about OP than I am about casting judgement. Luke has started the train towards isolation from family. And it seems to have worked. I only hope her family still leave a back door open for her to escape to - she's already worked out that Luke is the problem. She needs to get out.
I was very relieved to see she realized her husband is the problem. I'm worried about her too.
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If I had a wife, and her parents sends us two individual invitations, I would actually then be puzzled, like, don't they see us as 1 unit? Sending 1 invitation for both of us would be normal.
I'd be puzzled too if my in-laws sent me an individual invitation. He's definitely just looking for any excuse to be an AH. No doubt in my mind he would've thrown a fit if he got an individual invitation, using that exact reason... "Your parents obviously don't see us as 1 unit! I'm not spending Xmas with people who don't accept me as your husband & part of the family!"
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This is a brand new story - only been up for 22hrs. In all honesty, I'm more worried about OP than I am about casting judgement. Luke has started the train towards isolation from family. And it seems to have worked. I only hope her family still leave a back door open for her to escape to - she's already worked out that Luke is the problem. She needs to get out.
I was very relieved to see she realized her husband is the problem. I'm worried about her too.
Load More Replies... If I had a wife, and her parents sends us two individual invitations, I would actually then be puzzled, like, don't they see us as 1 unit? Sending 1 invitation for both of us would be normal.
I'd be puzzled too if my in-laws sent me an individual invitation. He's definitely just looking for any excuse to be an AH. No doubt in my mind he would've thrown a fit if he got an individual invitation, using that exact reason... "Your parents obviously don't see us as 1 unit! I'm not spending Xmas with people who don't accept me as your husband & part of the family!"
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